From taylovesbevin: "Ok so here is a request, i am going to try to combind 3 of ur weakness and one of ur fav episodes into a short 1-shot. Can you do, Dipper having a nightmare about the Sock Puppet insident, and Mabel is having a sleepover at Candy's house so it is Grunkle Stan's job to confort him. Grunkle Stan is not that good at conforting people so he does what he saw Mabel doing last time Dipper was sad, tickling him! Please tell me if this is a bad idea or not, and of course you don't have to write it! I just thought it would be a cool 1-shot you would enjoy to write!"

Interesting idea. You know me so well. :) This one-shot is set before Soos and the Real Girl. This could also tie into the one-shots I've previously written entitled The Fighter, Lean on Me, and Get Me Through. (although it would mean Get Me Through didn't occur at all)

When All Else Fails

If he had said it once, he had said it a million times: he wasn't good at comforting others. Especially when it came to smaller children. His brother wasn't much better, honestly, but at least he could have gotten a kid to stop sniffling and whining. Stanford, on the other hand, had no clue what to do when it came to kids. Did he give them a pat on the back? Hug them? Kiss their boo-boos? How was he supposed to know what to do?

When he had gotten out of bed to get a drink of water though (it had been a long night of working on the portal and he really needed to sleep), the high-pitched scream made him completely forget any and all troubles he had with kids. He ran as fast as he could up the stairs and almost threw open the attic door. What was wrong? Mabel was at her friend's house at a sleepover so it had to be Dipper screaming. Was a monster in the room? He nearly shuddered at the memory of the zombie incident. He probably should have grabbed his brass knuckles.

Instead, all he saw was a small form huddled on a bed, blankets wrapped around him. He paused in the doorway, hesitating. The boy didn't even glance up at him.

"Uh, kid?"

No response. Stan could have sworn he heard a soft sniffle from the boy.

His inability to deal with these sort of situations came flooding back to the man as he stood motionless in the doorway to the room. What was he supposed to say? He hadn't really seen the kid like this before; how long had he been up here like this? Was he just missing his sister?

Wait, no. That made no sense. Why would he have screamed like that, then?

Stan hesitantly walked over to where Dipper sat. Yes, those were certainly tears staining his blankets. The preteen boy shrunk in on himself at the sound of his great-uncle's nearing footsteps.

"Kid?"

A sniffle, albeit very quiet. It sounded like the kid was holding them in now so Stan wouldn't hear them.

"Y-Yeah?" His voice was muffled as the boy had yet to look up.

"You okay?"

Dipper flinched. He slowly shook his head but gave no other clue as to what Stan should say next.

Gosh, how he wished Mabel were here. The girl was a lot better at handling these types of situations. How had she handled the last one? When was the last time her brother had been sad? Or...whatever he was right now.

One memory in particular came to mind and he frowned. Was that appropriate for the dilemma at hand? It had worked for Mabel, but it was a little weird for the kid's great-uncle to do it...

Oh, heck. Why not?

He gently sat down beside Dipper and when the boy said nothing in protest, he wriggled his fingers under the younger's arms. Hearing soft choked snickers, Stan grinned and wriggled them harder.

"Wh-Wh-Ha! Gr-Grunkle Stan?" Dipper looked up a fraction, giggling involuntarily as he was tickled. He tried to push his hands away, but was unable to locate the relative's fingers as they moved to his neck now. "Gah! Wh-Why are - ? Haha!"

Oh, good. The kid was smiling again. He seemed okay for the moment.

"Wh-What are y-y-you doing?"

"Ever heard of tickling, kid?" Stan teased, tickling his sides now. Dipper flopped onto his back, giving the older man time to wipe away the tear tracks on the kid's face discreetly. The boy swatted at the hands through fits of laughter, trying to remember how to breathe properly as the funny sensation continued.

"Ah! Haha! Stop!"

"Are you done moping yet? I won't stop until you're okay."

Dipper snorted in laughter and nodded since it was difficult to speak properly now. Stan abruptly stopped and let the boy relax, breathing in deeply and sighing.

"That was worse than when Mabel tickles me to get what she wants."

"Glad to hear it," Stan said gruffly. He was more than a little pleased to be compared to his great-niece's famed tickling skills. When was the last time he had done that to somebody? Was it his brother? Yeesh, not bad for an old geezer.

Dipper frowned now that he was able to stop laughing. "What was that about?"

Stan knew what the boy was talking about and felt his ears go pink. It was a little embarrassing to admit that he had had no clue what to do to comfort the kid.

"Uh, you were being sad and...well, that's not allowed. No moping while your sister's out partying at her friend's house or whatever."

"I wasn't moping." Dipper's frown deepened as he remembered the reason why he was so upset. "Did you... Did you hear me yell?"

"You mean that high-pitched scream of yours? Yeah, I think your parents heard it too."

The kid flinched. "Sorry."

"Did you have a nightmare or something?"

He didn't meet Stan's eyes and the old man knew he was right. "Sort of."

"That's not an answer, Dipper."

"...Yeah."

Stan sighed and ran a hand through his graying hair. "Kid, how long has this been going on?"

"Since...the sock opera."

"And your sister knows about this, I'm guessing."

"...Yeah."

"How does she usually stop them?"

Dipper sighed and wrapped his arms around his knees again. "She doesn't stop them. She just...calms me down after them, I guess."

"Are you going to tell me what they're about? Crazy puppets? That fight you two had onstage?"

"Um...it kind of had to do with both...?"

Stan blinked in confusion.

"Come again?"

Dipper sighed again. "Well, it's a long story, but..."

Stan is so awkward with kids. But I bet he's probably a ticklemaster. How else will Mabel learn to polish her tickling skills?