The bulk of the group stood guard outside while the decision-makers pressed through the fog to join Oscar in the firebox. Lex, Quelaag, Gwyndolin, Beatrice, and Fina joined the knight around the final bonfire. Two remained with the others. Nito had insisted that it was time for the younger generation to make their own choices, and Quelaav had full confidence in her sister.

"Right, so since the bonfire ascetic plan will take years to pan out if it even works, we need to think of something to do in the meantime. Or maybe permanently, since that plan's pretty much gaming the system and might have unintended consequences or not work at all."

"There is another matter to discusseth," Gwyndolin added. "Whatever we decide here, we must also make plans to deal with the traitor. She was not mistaken; our bindings on her are very frail."

Lex nodded.

"Actually, I'm going to take one for the team. Quelaag, that empty bag."

At his insistence, she'd taken the bag that had held the vases into the firebox with her.

"All right, just hold it steady for me."

Her husband awkwardly climbed up her back and onto her shoulders. He unclipped the tiny satchel at his waist and flipped it upside-down over the open bag before unbuckling it. Countless weapons, pieces of armor, relics, corpses, and miscellaneous items poured out of the tiny opening and filled half the bag. The loose humanity didn't make it that far, instead being sucked toward Beatrice by an invisible force. Only Oscar's firm grip kept Manus' Soul from joining them.

At last, Lex climbed down and handed the bag to Gwyndolin.

"Right, so stuffing all the urns in here ought to keep her from pulling a Rita Repulsa."

"Husband," Quelaag said flatly. "Why are there corpses in here? Do you really expect me to carry a bunch of dead bodies?"

"This is a sacred place!" Gwyndolin hissed. "Havest your marital spat elsewhere."

"You know, given the choice between Linking the Flame and leaving to usher in the Age of Dark, some Chosen Undead instead decided to pick a third option by poisoning themselves with dung pies."

Gwyndolin was unable to find the words to articulate his frothing rage.

"Now, now," Fina cooed. "Fate is funny sometimes. Calm yourself, my prin- no, my king."

Gwyndolin sighed. The empty firebox could only mean that the Lord of Sunlight and King of Anor Londo – but most importantly, his father – had finally been put to rest. With his brother exiled and his sister expatriated, there was no other who could rule.

"Very well," he said coldly. "Prophet. What plans havest thee to extend the Flame if not to sacrifice thine own life in the Lord of Sunlight's honor?"

"Right, so if you add fire to fire, nothing really happens. I mean, it's not like really dense or anything. I don't remember chemistry class. What I'm saying is that when you're adding fire to fire, what you're really combining is the fuel. Which in Gwyn's case was his souls.

But Quel tried to duplicate the First Flame, and that Flame runs on humanity. The bonfires also grow more powerful as you throw humanity at them. Why isn't there a Keeper of the First Flame?"

"I…"

Gwyndolin frowned.

"I was very young when Father lefteth us. I do not know."

"None could bear the burden," Fina said quietly, patting him on the shoulder. "Men cannot Keep even a normal bonfire. The First Flame is too much for any of your kind. The Lord had no choice but to share his own… 'fuel'… with it. So too did we who remained decide to directly sacrifice humans replete with not just souls but also humanity."

"Why didn't you just do that directly, though? How many souls and humanity have been thrown away trying to pass the stupid tests? I mean, Sen's Fortress alone wiped two whole kingdoms worth of heroes. I don't even want to know how many timelines were doomed by the Bed of Chaos. I mean, you wouldn't have even had any problems setting up the society from Logan's Run, where all the middle-aged people join in a mass suicide ritual on a yearly basis. That's got to be better than taking a long gamble on a 'Chosen Undead.'"

"Don't even joke about that shit!" Beatrice spat. "We all chose to come to this hellhole! You're talking about brainwashing all of humankind!"

"Better than turning into mindless monsters," Lex grumbled. "You didn't see Oolacile. An entire kingdom gone crazy like you did. Imagine how bad it'd be if the Age of Dark truly fell."

"My dearest has it right," Quelaag said firmly, leaning on his shoulder. "As distasteful as it may be, the plan that best maintains the Flame is the only real solution. Anything less is selfishness to help you sleep at night."

"Says the maneater who commands a band of serial killers!"

"We killed only those who trespassed and those who would not be missed, Darkwraith!"

"I never killed anyone who didn't deserve it, Chaos Bitch!"

Fina raised her hands and motioned Beatrice and Quelaag down. As the case happened to be, neither of them was willing to backtalk someone who so closely resembled their dead mothers.

"It is as the master of New Londo says. Such plans were considered long ago but deemed too cruel. We were sworn to uphold not just Lord Gwyn's commands but his true will. He would not have the humans be exploited so. Only… as time passed, we grew desperate and left more and more of the task to Velka, who would enjoy doing what we dared not.

We cannot continue as we have done so far, but we must also be careful not to make the same mistakes in devising a new solution."

"So I'm guessing the compromise of changing the entrance to Lordran into a giant funnel leading right into the Flame is out," Lex said, sighing. "I mean, that's kind of what happens in the sequel's intro cinematic that no one watches because it's stupid."

Oscar had been sitting in silence, weighing the largest whole fragments of the Light and Dark Souls in either hand.

"Lex. The first thing you said. Do you think it's possible?"

"The bug zapper for old people?"

"What? Never mind. A Keeper, Lex, a Keeper. Goddess Fina, could a human with a powerful soul bear the strain for even a short time? I know that when a Keeper dies, her fire dies with her, but perhaps there is some way…with these souls…"

"Alas, I fear only Quel may have known the Flame well enough to answer."

Quelaag smirked.

"Quelara has saved as much of Mother's work as she could. Perhaps working together, we could find a way."

"I think it may be possible, yeah," Lex said, nodding. "I still have no idea what Shanalotte is, but Keeper of the First Flame isn't necessarily out. Another plan of attack might be to investigate how time travel works. I know Seath sounded super-excited about it. Vendrick is said to have nearly unlocked the truth of life, the universe, and everything, so warping forward to learn what he knows might also be an option. Hell, he might have actually moved the First Flame. Not that doing that would help."

"If you wish to try, I will aid you," Fina said, smiling. "I wish to watch as fate itself changes."

"Having options helps," Oscar said quietly, "but Lex, you said earlier that leaving this chamber may condemn the world to Darkness. Are we going to risk that… or take turns waiting here over however many years it takes to find a solution?"

The others looked to Lex in shock, and he simply nodded. They were silent for a while.

"I will do it," Gwyndolin said at last. "I will inherit the will of the Lord of Sunlight."

"You cannot," Fina said, shaking her head. "You must lead Anor Londo. I will take this task and penance for allowing the traitor to run rampant."

"No. I will keep the Souls for now," Oscar stated firmly. "I am unimportant in such grand matters."

The demigods and knight turned to look at the others.

"What? I'm not going to offer to do it," Lex snorted. "I spent all this time trying to figure out a way to not throw my life away. You can keep your noble sacrifice fetish to yourselves, thank you very much."

"I have a kingdom to run, apparently," Quelaag sighed, "and I am hardly as kind as Quelaav."

Oscar nodded.

"Well, can't blame me for trying. Take care of yourself, Lex. I have faith I won't wait too long."

"You skipped me, you shit!" Beatrice hissed. "I'll do it, damn it!"

There was a shocked silence. Gwyndolin lifted his spiky hat slightly.

"Repeatest thy words. My crown covereth mine ears."

"Someone needs to sit pretty here and collect all the humanity in the world, right? Sign me up! I'll be your damned Keeper!"

"The mouth on this heretic!"

"Stuff it, shortstuff! The gods lose their power as the Flame dies, right? You just don't want me to be the one with her thumb ready to snuff the candle!"

"That thou art considering it at all showeth the problem!"

"Hold on there," Lex said curiously. "This might work. She's got Seath's bullshit immortality crystal. We already know that Dragon Havel was able to be a Keeper despite having dragon balls."

Quelaag snorted.

"Let's say it does work. Are we really going to trust-?"

"Didn't we already have this conversation?"

"I'm never going to live down killing you, am I? Fine. Izalith accepts. What of Anor Londo?"

Gwyndolin scowled.

"Betwixt a demon and a Darkwraith…" he grumbled. "So be it. The gods will that this Beatrice inheriteth the Fire of the world. Knight Oscar, back away from the bonfire."

The god interposed himself between Beatrice and the fire, sinking to her eye level. One hand, he placed gently upon her breast while he lowered the other to grasp the sword amidst the bones and flame.

"Hold!" Quelaag said quickly. "Allow me to assist. This is Izalith's choice as well, and the power may be too great for one without a Lord Soul."

Gwyndolin nodded grimly and slithered aside to allow her massive body room beside him.

"Sure, just everyone cop a feel," Beatrice mocked as the demoness placed her hand beside the deity's.

Ignoring her, Quelaag grabbed the hilt, while Gwyndolin placed his hand atop the pommel. The bonfire snarled to life, surging up the blade and rushing through both of them to pour into Beatrice's Darksign. She shrieked as the source of all the powers of the world burned through her bones. Her false form burned away, and all her mouths belched fire.

"Uh, Oscar!" Lex shouted over the roaring flame and screaming wraith. "Maybe we should give her that Soul!"

"Which one?!"

"The creepy one! Well, maybe both!"

"Don't you dare!" Quelaag scolded.

At last, the light died down, and Beatrice coughed black smoke before returning to human form.

"Oh," Lex said. "I was assuming that was a quick time event. Looks like I get to have Sunlight Spear after all!"

"Su-sure-" the wraith gagged. "Don't ask how I'm doing! Putting spells before others is what I do, you shit!"

"Well, are you all right, then?"

"Would I be bitching if I weren't, dipshit?"

He shrugged.

"Oscar, give her Manus' Soul anyway. That ought to buy us some time while we figure out how to get her a continuous source."

"…if you think it's necessary…"

The knight extended the writhing mass of humanity toward her while clutching the burning remains of Gwyn's Soul to his chest.

"At lassssssst!" Beatrice hissed, briefly slipping back into madness as she snatched it away.

The arm that held it contorted briefly, twisting to a shape even more monstrous than her true form was normally, but she glared at it and forced it back into shape through will.

"…there is only passion," she whispered. She shook her head and quickly returned to her normal abuse: "If that's it, then get the hell out of here! It's a pain in the ass to keep this shit from burning you to ashes, you asses!"

"Yeah, I was wondering about that," Lex said. "What the hell, Quelaag?"

"Nothing about that ritual would kill us!"

"We're standing in the heart of the Kiln. Relighting it means… I mean, I didn't say anything because I don't know how Keepers work anyway."

"Well, I didn't-!"

Quelaag realized she really had no excuse.

"I thought the oh-so-mighty King of Anor Londo would say something if there was that sort of risk!"

"Surely, the inheritor of the Witch who did recreateth the First Flame would knoweth more than one who was born after the Kiln had been sealed."

"Get the hell out of my Kiln before you start your bitchfight!"

"I can only hope the attitude of the Keeper has no effect on the world…" Oscar said, sighing.

"Perhaps," Fina said with a wry grin. "Countless heroes followed in the footsteps of the Lord of Sunlight."

Nevertheless, they did finally start toward the fog wall.

"So, are there any more bad decisions left for today, dear husband?" Quelaag asked mockingly as they passed through the gate hand-in-hand.

"Well, we still have to figure out what the Primordial Serpents are up to. I was thinking we keep Frampt as an advisor because there's always a corrupt advisor, so I just figured it's better if we know who beforehand."

"Of course!" she chuckled.

"Just you wait! I'll show you exactly how bad I was at Crusader Kings 2!"