Monday, Jack woke up in a bad mood. Sunday, he had spent the day by himself, brooding. He hadn't wanted to expose Rose to that side of his personality so he had just avoided her all that day and brooded over the fact that his sister's rapist was allowed to be up for parole after having destroyed his family. He was pretty sure that there wouldn't have been a fire if that pervert had just left his sister alone...if she hadn't felt the need to take her own life.
So Monday, he woke up like he did any other day. He was getting ready to go pick up Rose, like he normally did on weekdays, except this time he was willing to beg for forgiveness after going out of his way to avoid her like he had. He hadn't meant to hurt her or make her worry. He had just needed to be alone. But he had his alone time. He had brooded and now he was back to normal and ready to get back into the swing of living his life again.
He came downstairs after grabbing his portfolio off his desk and was just about to stuff it into his book bag. His Uncle was on the phone, talking quietly to someone, looking rather troubled. For a second, Jack wondered what it was about, but decided that whatever it was, it was grown up stuff and he had at least a few more months before he was required to bother himself with such issues. So he didn't ask and went into the kitchen to grab a bagel instead. Julie was at the counter munching on some cereal. She looked up at Jack with an arched brow.
"Rose called last night. She probably thinks I hate her again or something. Is there a reason that you're avoiding her?"
"I'm not necessarily avoiding her...just sparing her my bad mood," Jack shrugged. "I was getting the news about that asshole out of my system. I'm fine again today. Will never think of him again. So I will be apologizing for being a sucky boyfriend this morning."
Julie just shrugged. "She would have understood, you know."
"I know," Jack sighed. "I just couldn't be with her yesterday. I couldn't be with anyone, really."
Uncle Phil must have gotten finished with his call. He came into the kitchen, looking as if he had just been ran over by a tractor trailer or something.
"Daddy? Are you ok?" Julie frowned. The last time she had seen her father look so...devastated was when he had gotten news of Jack's parents deaths.
Phil Dawson ignored his daughter as he sat eyes on his nephew. His heart ached for the young man, knowing that this news was going to kill him. But he couldn't keep it from him. Jack had the right to know. "They did it. They gave him parole. He'll be out by the end of the week."
"Daddy, what are you talking about?" Julie frowned.
"Jack knows who I'm talking about."
Jack for his part stared at his Uncle in disbelief. He had to be lying. They wouldn't...they couldn't...the man had torn his family apart...they couldn't just let him out! He was evil and evil people were put away for a long long long time! Three years was nowhere near long enough!
"It was for good behavior. Said he found the lord. That he was sorry for what he did. Said that he never caused any fights or problems...so they released him."
The look on Jack's face told Julie that he had just been hit with a wrecking ball. She put down her spoon and went to his side. "Jack..."
The loud ringing in Jack's head wouldn't let him think. Wouldn't let him reason. The only thing that was going through his mind was good behavior. He was getting out on good behavior. What about Lisa? She was a good girl. Behaved herself. Caused no problems, but was violated, is dead, but she doesn't get a second chance. She doesn't get parole. She's just dead!
Julie gripped his arm. "We have to pick up Rose. Remember Rose? The girl you're endlessly in love with?" If she could get him to not think about Lisa, to think of Rose or anyone else, she knew he'd be fine. But the trouble was getting him to do so. "Come on Jack. Let's pick up Rose for school before we're all late..."
"Yes, son. Go to school. There's nothing more that can be done but keep going on with your life. Go to school, Jack," Uncle Phil nodded, agreeing with his daughter. "Julie, you drive?"
"Yeah. Okay," she agreed and pulled Jack out to the car, grabbing their book bags while she went.
Ten minutes later, she pulled up in front of Rose's place and blew the horn. Rose immediately came out, not looking too happy and frowned when she saw it was Julie in the driver's seat.
"Don't ask questions, princess. Just get in the car. We're running late," Julie instructed.
"Alright, so I won't ask what's going on," Rose mumbled, climbing into the back, a tinge of hurt in her voice when Jack didn't even look at her.
Julie sighed, thinking that she must be getting soft or something. "He's not exactly himself today...hasn't been yesterday either. Don't take it personal."
Rose just frowned, but didn't say anything else. Thankfully.
When they pulled up to the school, Jack was still silent, still inwardly reeling from the news of his sister's rapist getting parole. Getting a chance to walk the streets and go on with life while his beautiful twin sister laid dead in her grave. It was tearing him apart inside. Anger and rage was just building and building with no means of escape.
Everyone at school noticed how quiet the usually friendly and talkative Jack was. From his classmates who shared classes with him, to his closest friends.
"Is Jack angry with me? Did I do something?" Fabrizio had asked confused.
Rose herself was hurt, but she didn't say anything. She couldn't make him talk to her if he didn't want to. She would give him worried glances every now and then, but that was about it. Mostly, she just talked to the others as they all kept an eye on the silent Jack.
It was the end of the day when things finally exploded. Rose was cleaning up after class, so Jack was in the hallways waiting for her to finish. He knew that he owed her an even bigger apology now, as well as his friends, but he found that he just couldn't talk. If he talked, he'd scream and let all the rage that had been building up all day out, so he remained silent, hoping that it'd dissipate on its own.
Signing, he went outside and sat on the front steps, not far from the school's bleachers, knowing that Rose would be able to see him when she got out. He took out his portfolio and began to draw, moving the pencil across the page effortlessly. He didn't think about what he was drawing, he just drew. When he was done, the pain in his chest grew even more. It was his sister's face. She was crying, hurt and pain and confusion shone in her eyes.
He closed his eyes and pushed back against the pain. That was when he heard it. The muffled scream and a male's voice saying "Shut up slut. I'm going to teach you to shut up once and for all."
Jack's eyes opened and he got to his feet and followed the muffled sound to the school's bleachers. When he reached them, he stared in shock. There was Cal Hockley, his hand pressed against Annabelle's mouth as he was trying to rip off the struggling girl's clothes. The rage that had been building since that morning exploded. Not again. Not another girl, not another pervert who will probably be paroled for good behavior after he's destroyed a young girl's life!
"You fucking son of a bitch! I'm going to kill you!" He grabbed Hockley and pulled him off of Annabelle who went reeling back, sobbing. Jack threw Cal to the ground, who looked up at him in rage, angry that he was interrupted. He groaned.
"Dawson? I should have known..."
Jack wasn't listening. Instead of Caledon Hockley, who deserved a good beating anyway, he saw the man who had raped his sister, who had destroyed her life, who was responsible for her death and ripping his family apart. He didn't see Julie and Derrick running up or Rose finally coming out of school, just the rapist on the ground. Another rapist who will get out of jail without a scratch. Well not this time!
"I'm going to kill you!" Jack grabbed Cal's shirt and lifted him halfway across the ground and smashed his fist into his face. "Good behavior? Second Chances? Where's my sister's second chance you asshole?!" He punched Cal again and again, but he wasn't seeing Cal. He was seeing the man responsible for destroying his dear sweet twin. "Where's Lisa's second chance? That's right, she didn't get one!" Jack punched him again and again yelling at him about Lisa and how he had destroyed her and how Jack was personally going to make him pay since the court system wasn't worth shit.
Everyone else on the scene were in shock to see sweet, friendly, Jack Dawson in such a blind rage, beating the tar out of Caledon Hockley. Derrick was tending to his frightened sister and wasn't at all keen to save Cal from Jack's rage. But Julie knew that her cousin wasn't a killer, but may turn into one if someone didn't stop him. She spotted Tommy and Fabrizio not too far away.
"Tommy! Fabri help!" She called out, trying to pull Jack away from Cal. She looked towards Rose who had Jack's portfolio looking at something. She held up the picture and Julie gasped. "Lisa..."
Finally Rose spoke. "Jack stop! Jack!"
Tommy and Fabrizio finally arrived and it took both of them to pull Jack away from Cal, who laid on the ground bleeding, his face bruised and bleeding. No one missed the fact that his pants was also undone and the state of poor Annabelle who was crying hysterically in her brother's arms.
"I ought to let Jack at him again," Tommy growled.
"Don't you dare! He's in a rage, he'll kill him!" Julie demanded.
Rose was stunned on all counts. Jack's rage and the fact that Cal had tried to rape Annabelle again. If Jack hadn't come upon them... "Oh my god..."
She took a deep breath. Annabelle was ok. She was safe...but Jack was still in a rage, fighting against Tommy and Fabrizio's hold, trying to get at Cal again. She had to do something to stop him.
She walked up to him and wrapped her arms around his neck. "Jack, stop...it's not him...he's not the one that did that to Lisa. Cal deserves it, yes, but you'll end up in jail and you don't deserve that. You don't. I'm so sorry about Lisa, Jack. I'm sorry that you couldn't save her, but you did save Annabelle today...you saved her, just like you saved me last August, but if you continue beating Cal, that won't matter. They'll put you in jail. I know you're angry, but killing Cal won't bring Lisa back. It won't..so you have to calm down Jack...please..."
Rose's words seemed to seep through the rage and anger, leaving only tears and devastation.
"It's not fair...," Jack sobbed. "My poor sister is dead and that fucking monster gets out. No one even cares that he destroyed her...that he used her and made her feel worthless...made her feel that she was beyond help...it's not fair that he's getting out today and she's still...dead!"
Rose held him as he sobbed. Fabrizio and Tommy let him go and took a step back as Rose held him in her arms, rubbing his back in a soothing motion.
"What are we going to do about Hockley?" Julie asked, looking down at the unconscious rapist. "It's pretty obvious on what he was trying to do..."
"I...I don't know..."
"I'll take care of Hockley," Derrick said, his own anger in his eyes. "Tommy, will you take my sister home, please."
"Alright, mate," Tommy nodded.
Rose stroked Jack's blond head as he sobbed in her arms, her heart breaking for him.
"I'm taking him back to my place," Rose looked at Julie, who just nodded. "I want my father on the case, just in case Cal tries to press charges."
"We can't afford your father," Julie stared.
"We'll come up with something. He's probably the only one who can't be brought by the Hockley's. I don't trust anyone else..."
"Alright...damn it...this is a mess..."
Rose ignored everyone else as she picked up Jack's portfolio where he had dropped it and took him back to the car. Wordlessly, he got into the passenger's seat and she took the drivers and drove back to her place. Parking the car in the drive way, she got Jack out and together they walked into the house, where Rose took him into the tv room where they had their first date and sat him down.
"Let me see your hands."
Jack held out his hands and Rose nearly cried over how red and bruised the knuckles were. "Oh baby, look at what his face did to your hands..."
She got up and went into the kitchen and prepared an icepack. When she returned, Jack was laying down on his side, staring into space. Rose knelt down and took his hand, placing the ice pack on his knuckles. "I know that you're upset, Jack. I don't know what to say or do to make it better. But please stop pushing me away. I love you. So does Julie and your Aunt and Uncle, and your friends...everyone loves you. Come back to us. We'll help get you through this..."
"You can't give me back my sister. No one can," was Jack's flat reply.
"I know. I wish I could. I'd give her back to you straight away. But she wouldn't want this for you Jack. This rage and depression...it'd make her sad to know that you're hurt so deeply. She would want you to let us in to help you."
"She wouldn't let me in. She wouldn't let anyone in to help her. All that pain and self blame...and the man responsible is going to be free to do it again. It's not fair..."
"I know Jack. It's not. I know that I can't do anything to ease your pain right now. I can't make things right...but do let me take care of you, alright? Stop avoiding me and let me be here for you like you were for me."
"I don't want to burden you..."
"Jack, that is impossible. You're not a burden. You're my hero. You're Annabelle's hero...you saved her from Cal. So this time, it's your turn to be looked after...but you have to let me in. You can't shut me out."
"I wish he was dead," Jack sobbed. "It'll never be right until he's dead...like she is...like my parents..."
She stood up and had him sit up long enough for her to sit down then have him lay his head on her lap. She stroked soft blond hair as he cried, burying his face against her as his sobs took him over. She stayed like that until the sobbing stopped and he was still, having fallen asleep.
"Rose?" Katarina came in. "There you are...with Jack?" She arched a brow to see the sleeping boy, his eyes puffy from crying. "Is everything ok?"
"No. It isn't. I don't think it ever will be," Rose sighed. "The crime of rape...it has more than one victim doesn't it?"
"Sometimes..."
Rose suddenly felt angry at the world and at the justice system. Why was it allowed, parole? Why do they let these people out? Not caring what affect it'll have on the victim's loved ones. Lisa may be gone to a place when her rapist couldn't hurt her, but the people who loved her was still here and hurting. "Cal almost did it again...to Annabelle Watson...but lucky for her, Jack was nearby and heard the commotion. Unlucky for Cal, Jack had received some bad news on his dead sister's rapist and well...Cal's lucky Jack didn't kill him."
"What happened?"
"He had gotten parole. He's going to be out on the streets. I know that Jack had heard it was a possibility, but I guess today it was confirmed...I guess Jack projected his rage onto Cal. I got him calmed down now..."
"Poor boy...our justice system does need a lot of work," Katarina sighed. "And Caledon Hockley...how he is not in prison now?"
"What's the use? Either they won't put him in jail at all or he'll get parole like that one guy did. People like my mother and Annabelle's parents...they are so busy bending over backwards to make us seem like the criminals and Cal the victim...when there's people like Jack, who are left to deal with the fallout from it all and these men...they just keep getting away with it. It's sickening.
"Is there anything I can do for him? Anything at all to ease his pain?" Rose asked, nearly begging. She had always heard how when the one you love hurts, you hurt too. She just hadn't expected it to hurt so much.
"Just be there for him. He's obviously still grieving. Maybe help him during that process some how. Help him let go of the pain...I don't know how you can do so, but it'd be for the best," Katarina squeezed Rose's hand. "Sweetie, I know how you must be feeling, seeing him suffer. I know it hurts, but also remember that it's his pain. You can't take it from him. Only he can work through it."
Rose just nodded. "I never thought that I was capable of loving anyone. But I do love him. More than anything in this world. He's the only good thing that came out of the nightmare last summer was. He has given me so much strength just to get from one day to the next...I want to do the same for him."
"And you will. Just by being here for him," Katarina smiled, squeezing he hand.
..…
Later, Rose and Jack sat out back, looking at the stars. They weren't as easy to see as they were at the place where they had their first secret date, but still a few could be seen. Rose held Jack's hand as they sat in silence. She lifted his hand to her lips and pressed a gentle kiss to his bruised knuckles.
"Jack...remember when you told me that a shooting star was a soul going to heaven?"
"Yeah," Jack sighed, his eyes never leaving the sky.
"Do you think the stars we see in the sky...the ones not falling...do you think they're the souls looking down on us? Watching us in our everyday lives?"
Jack frowned and looked at her. "I never thought of that before. Maybe. Why?"
Rose smiled and pointed up to two stars to the left. "I believe those may be my grandparents. They're there every night I've been here. The exact same position, and they shine so brightly. It's like someone trying to send me a message."
Jack smiled. "I like that. It's like they had never left you. Were you close to them?"
"Yes. They were on my dad's side, so I didn't get to see them much, but when I did, we always had fun together. The days they died wore two of the saddest days in my life."
"I'm sorry, Rose," Jack squeezed her hand.
"Don't be. I'm glad that I had the time with them that I did and perhaps they are looking down on me. Maybe they were the ones that sent you to me that awful night."
"Maybe," Jack sighed, studying the night sky, his eyes landing on three stars grouped together, seeming unusually bright to him. He couldn't tear his eyes away. "Do you think they're up there watching now?"
Rose followed Jack's gaze. "Your parents and sister?"
Jack simply nodded.
"Yes. Why wouldn't they be. Plus it's three stars...make sense..."
"Do you think they can hear me if I talk to them?"
"Yes, I do. I talk to my grandparents all the time and I always feel like they hear me. That they got the message somehow..."
This was crazy. He wasn't a very religious person and he definitely wasn't spiritual...but those stars wouldn't let him go. It was like they were shining just for him. He took a deep breath and kept his eyes on those three stars.
"Mom, Dad, Lisa...today...at school...I'm sorry for losing it the way I did. I mean...I'm not sorry because I stopped Hockley from hurting Annabelle again, but I'm sorry that I became so unhinged over that bastard getting parole. That I had let my rage rule me. Mom and dad, you raised me better than that...and it wouldn't have helped Lisa...it wouldn't have brought her back to me. I brought shame to you and I'm sorry. Lisa...I'm so sorry that I couldn't help you. I could help everyone else but my own sister. Why wouldn't you let me help? Why? I see Derrick with Annabelle and I resent him because he can help his sister...save her...but I couldn't save you. I loved you so much...I would have done anything for you...I would have even gone with you if you asked me to because we were twins...we were born together...you were the closest person to me and then you were just...gone...," tears fell from Jack eyes. "Even now, years later, I can't handle it. Losing you like that. I'm so sorry...I'm so sorry that he got out. That he's not being made to pay for what he had done to you. I want to make him pay. I want to make him hurt the way you were...but I know that you don't want me to do that. That you want me to move on. But it's so hard and I feel...I feel so alone. No one understands the pain of being a surviving twin...to have this space in your heart where your twin used to be and have it empty.
"But I promise you...I'll try to live and make each and every day count for the both of us. I promise. Wherever I go...whatever I do, you'll be with me. My victories will be yours. I will live each day as if it's my last and make it count...for you my dear sister. For you...and by the way, this is Rose. She's the love of my life and I suspect that you sent her to me. Thank you. She is the most beautiful, the most strongest woman I know. She's amazing and I promise to love her forever and keep her as safe as I can. I love you sis, mom, and dad. I promise to make you proud for now on. No more flying off the handle like I did. You three will be with me always..."
As he finished talking, a peace filled him, as if his message had been received and approved. The three stars seemed to burn even brighter in the sky, sending him a message of love and peace. "I think they heard me..."
"Does it help?"
"Yeah. Yeah it does...," Jack turned a smile to his girlfriend. He reached over with his free hand and gently touched her face. "I'm sorry for scaring you today..."
"You didn't scare me, Jack. You could never scare me. I just wanted to be there for you, take away your pain so badly..."
"You helped. Just by being here...by staying by my side," Jack sighed, remembering his behavior of the weekend. "And I'm sorry for my behavior yesterday...of avoiding you...I just didn't want to bring you down with my bad mood."
"Oh Jack..."
"It was a bad idea. I see that now. You are probably the only person who could have made yesterday a whole lot better."
"Look, I understand if sometimes you need to be alone...but just tell me when you feel like you need the space and I'll give it to you. Don't just shut yourself away without explanation. I love you Jack. I want to make you feel better, but I also want to do what's right for you. I'll do anything you need me to. Just don't push me away..."
"I won't. I promise..." He leaned over and they sealed his promise with a affectionate kiss. He may have lost Lisa, but he had Rose and he wouldn't trade her in for the world...