Chapter 42: I'M WHAT?
Jissa stomped one silver hoof in the hay of her stall, she was deeply worried about her chosen. The boy had almost no control over his own actions. She knew what had happened wasn't entirely Yozak's fault he had warned I'Ryn of the danger she was putting herself into. The other Herald simply hadn't listened to him. Hell he'd even said no several times before the last dregs of his control snapped. If anyone had been sexually assaulted it was Yozak not the other way around. Blakeley agreed with her.
Not that her currently emotionally distraught Chosen was going to believe her.
She'd had to shout and use an extremely firm tone just to get the boy's attention. She knew she'd scared him. Just as she knew he probably thought she was going to repute him.
The boy was wrong of course, he couldn't control what had happened in that room anymore then he could control the river.
She also knew this was the worst Rutt the poor boy had ever been through. It was only his second true Rutt, but he was dealing with this one without the help of the medication Rutting male dæmons used to help keep themselves in check. There had to be something she could do to help the boy control the driving need to find his mate and, well, mate.
The problem was for some reason Yozak already considered Conrart his mate. That could be because they were lifebonded. Whatever the reason there was one clear fact, If she didn't find a way to exert some level of control over her Chosen's drive to mate, Conrart wasn't going to be safe when he returned from his circuit.
She'd realized that with how Yozak had reacted to I'Ryn.
Maybe she could control Yozak's Rutt like Companion Kalira had controlled Herald Lavan's rather alarming firestarting gift?
She wasn't sure but it was worth a shot.
A maelstrom of emotions struck her in the heart and she turned her attention to her truly traumatized Chosen. Honestly Yozak was more shaken by the events of the last few minutes then I'Ryn was.
Time for damage control : Come here my Chosen,: She said, gently wrapping the boy in a cocoon of love and reassurance. : I am Not going to repute you, however we are going to have to find a way to fix your lack of control.:
Yozak collapsed into her exhausted and emotionally spent, the boy sobbed in a mixture of pure relief and unbridled terror at what he had just done. "How can you want anything to do with me?" he sobbed into her main. "I – I could have raped her!"
:But you didn't Chosen.:
"Only because she wasn't Conrart!" he gasped into her now sopping wet mane. "If it had been, oh Great One, if it had been – I don't think I could have stopped."
Jissa was about to reply when another voice cut her off, "Conrart isn't here Yozak, as for me you warned me it was dangerous, I chose to do it anyway. You told me no, but I kept going. If anyone was sexually assaulted it was You not me."
It took Yozak a minute, but finally he extracted himself from her mane long enough to look up at I'Ryn and the rather startled looking Herald Sandy who was standing just beside her. "I am so sorry," he all but sobbed. "I-I should be locked up before I hurt someone."
I'Ryn sighed as Jissa carefully folded herself up on the floor, pulling her still crying chosen down with her so she could carefully curl up around him like he was still a little foal. He needed the comfort right now. He curled in on himself all but cowering against her flank. She nuzzled him gently, offering wordless comfort and support.
I'Ryn walked over and squatted down beside them, "Yozak," she said gently "if you were still in Shin Makoku how would you handle this?"
"It wouldn't be this bad in Shin Makoku," Yozak replied softly more to Jissa's mane then to I'Ryn. "I'd be taking that damned disgusting tea."
"What tea?" Sandy asked quietly, moving closer to kneel beside the now silently crying man.
"We drink a tea when we're in Rutt; it helps to control the desire to mate… and the aggression… the impulses. I've managed to find most of the herbs I need. But it's not working very well without the main one. I can't find it I've looked everywhere and I can't find it!"
"What is it supposed to do Yozak? My mother was a midwife and an herbal healer, she taught me, maybe I can find it for you." Sandy replied quietly.
"It, it makes everything work properly, and allows me to keep the vial stuff down." Yozak replied softly.
Sandy groaned, "That's not an herb I'm familiar with what does it look like?"
"It has large, blue, spiny, somewhat waxy, oddly shaped leaves, with bright orange running through the center." Yozak replied.
"It's blue?" Sandy asked incredulously. "Can you give me an image of it?"
Yozak sighed, and gently handed over a memory of what the plant looked like.
Sandy snorted, "Yozak are you colorblind?"
"No, it's blue," Yozak half yelled, half sobbed. "It's frigin Cobalt Blue!"
Sandy sighed, I've seen this plant, but it's green not blue and the veins are white. I'll be right back."
She came back a few minutes later with some dripping leaves in her hand. "Is this it?" she asked holding them out to Yozak. Yozak blinked and took the leaves almost reverently from her hand. He ran his finger under the base of one of the snapped leaf veins, gathering a bit of the sap on his finger. He then licked his finger.
"This is it!" He said excitedly. "Thank you, thank you, thank you so much!"
"It's green?" he asked after a second, "why is it green?"
Sandy and I'Ryn shared a look before they laughed softly. "Will that help you keep yourself under control?" I'Ryn asked.
Yozak nodded, "this little thing will allow me to actually take the tea without almost immediately throwing it up, which will allow me to control myself. Thank you again. Where did you find it? I looked everywhere, the green houses, all of the apothecaries in Haven, hell I even went to the market; hoping people thought it was just a vegetable."
"I found it in the little mini vale. It's a weed Yozak; we've never found a use for it. It makes us sick to eat it. But it's abundant in the vale and out on companion's field in better weather." Sandy replied mildly.
Yozak nodded, "I'll make sure I get enough to last for the rest of my Rutt," he replied simply. "Now I should go make myself a cup of tea that actually works."
: Jissa, thank you. : he said softly in mind speech.
I'Ryn rose to her feet, "we'll go with you."
Yozak froze and shook his head, "I haven't taken my tea yet, and it will take a good 15 minutes to take effect. I'Ryn considering what happened earlier, I'm not so sure that's a good idea." He paused then added, "as soon as it takes effect I – I need to go explain myself to the queen."
"Yozak, what happened between us was an accident. You don't need to punish yourself for it." I'Ryn said firmly.
"Maybe not," Yozak replied mildly. "But I still need to explain my behavior for the past two weeks."
I'Ryn nodded, "Good luck then, I'm going to go have a glass of wine, if you want to stop by latter, feel free."
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Selenay groaned as she contemplated the behavior of one of her Heralds. Yozak simply hadn't been himself for the last several months. He'd seemed distracted somehow. It wasn't normal for him; however things hadn't gotten bad until two weeks ago. His behavior had really been rather ridiculous, in the last two weeks Yozak had done a lot of stupid, reckless, and downright unheraldic things. The young man had picked at least one fight with every male Herald in Whites. That wasn't the half of it. He'd left bruises and broken bones in the wake of several of those fights. And his moods changed drastically with little to no warning. She was beginning to wonder if he might be dangerous; either to himself or to those around him.
The odd part was that according to Caryo, Jissa kept insisting there was nothing wrong with her Chosen. It had taken three Heralds to pull Yozak off of a member of the palace guard, and Daniel was going to be laid up for another couple of weeks. Heralds Liam and Alan would recover in a couple of days – although Liam's fractured ribs would be painful until the healers finished with them.
As for her husband, well the man had a very nice shiner.
She didn't – quite – know what to do with Yozak; the young man's behavior was erratic and aggressive. In fact if he'd been anyone but a Herald, he'd probably be cooling his heels in one of the Guard's cells. As it was, she was seriously considering having the man confined to quarters until he was evaluated by a mind-healer.
She glanced up at a knock on her office door, and gaped at the sight of Yozak. The young man looked both apprehensive and contrite. He cleared his throat and somehow managed to look as if he was gathering his courage for what was to come. He took the few steps required to put him directly before her and Daren and inclined his head slightly in respect.
"Highness," he said softly, fidgeting slightly. "I have to apologize for my behavior these past few weeks."
Selenay blinked, more than a little surprised. She gestured to the chair before her desk with one hand. "Then by all means Herald Yozak, please explain your recent behavior."
Yozak sat quietly in the offered chair for a moment before he spoke. "My people are fundamentally," he paused as if searching for the right words, "different from yours, highness." He held up a hand when she would have interrupted. "Please let me finish. Even today when relations between the Mazoku and the Ningens are more amiable, this is not a subject spoken of to … outsiders."
She inclined her head and waited for him to continue.
"Mazoku can live for several centuries. Lady Ulrike, for example is over 800, and still in her prime.* As you can imagine if Mazoku women were 'always in season' like human women… well we'd be up to our eyebrows in children." He paused and fidgeted slightly in his chair like a little trying to avoid 'the talk'. "Mazoku women are only fertile for 6 months out of every decade. The result is that every ten years or so Mazoku men are extremely aggressive because we need to be able to win and protect a mate… add to that the fact that Mazoku pregnancies last three years, and well you can see why."
Selenay nodded and waited a second to see if he would continue before she asked, "So it's the Mazoku breeding season?"
Yozak flushed, "Not exactly."
"Then, why are you acting the way you have been?" Daren asked form where he was standing behind her.
Yozak – who'd previously been focusing on her and ignoring her co-consort – glanced up and bared his teeth before replying in a tone that was all but a growl. "Much like humans our cycles are individual."
"Then why are you still acting like this?" Daren asked quietly. "There are no Mazoku women for you to win and no other Mazoku men for you to fight."
Yozak snorted, "Do your women stop having their moon days because there are no men?" he asked shortly.
Selenay held up her hand to stop her husband from replying, she had bigger questions than the why – she needed to know if it was safe for Yozak to be at the palace or if she would have to send him away, likely to somewhere remote where he wouldn't be a danger to anyone.
"You seem fairly in control of yourself right now, are you no longer under the influence of this season?" she asked gently.
Yozak sighed, "You mean, am I still in Rutt? Yes I am. The only reason I'm 'in control of myself' as you put it is because I've taken the tea that helps us to interact safely with society as a whole."
"If this tea allows you to maintain your control, then why haven't you been taking it?" Selenay asked keeping her voice level.
"I have been, I went to every apothecary in Haven to get the ingredients, but I couldn't find one of them. So I made the tea without the one ingredient, it made me sick and I couldn't keep it down." He swallowed, pulled a green and white leaf out of his tunic and almost reverently placed it on her desk. "Sandra found this about 20 minutes ago and gave it to me, so the tea was actually able to do its job this time."
Daren rubbed the bridge of his nose, "So it's safe for you to be around people?" he asked almost gently.
"Yes," Yozak replied sheepishly.
"What about Herald Conrart?" Daren asked after a second.
To Selenay surprise Yozak growled, his pupils contracting to thin slits. "What about Conrart?" He paused briefly, took a deep breath and then amended in a civil, if strained tone "What about him is of interest at the moment?"
"When should we expect his Rutt?" Selenay asked after a second's hesitation, apparently the man's protective aggression extended to his best friend.
"Within the next two years," Yozak replied. "Don't worry, he won't be nearly as bad as me, medicated or not, Conrart has always had an astounding amount of control."
Daren raised an eyebrow, "why would he have more control then you?" he asked after a second.
Yozak turned the full force of his attention to the Co-consort of Valdemar before he spoke. "Conrart is…" he paused as if groping for the right words and started again. "The more … dominant the male the less control they have in Rutt."
"So you are more… dominant then he is?" Selenay asked gently, stumbling over the unfamiliar term.
Yozak sighed, "I would assume so; even in Rutt Conrart never truly hurts anything."
"So how long does this Rutt last?" Selenay enquired.
Yozak flushed "I have a little less than six months left."
"Is it safe for you and Conrart to be together if you are both in Rutt or should we take pains to separate you if you ever come into season together?" Daren asked softly, "Will he need protection from you when the two of you are … like this?"
Yozak had growled menacingly at the suggestion but stopped and looked a little sheepish when Daren elaborated. "No," he said after a second's consideration. "Conrart is still the better fighter and even in Rutt he could mop the floor with me. I respect that. We might fight a bit, but it would be little more than a way to relieve aggression."
Selenay resisted the urge to rub the bridge of her nose, pulled an ink pen from her desk and wrote a quick note on a scrap of paper. "Go see the dean of the Healers collegia, give him the leaf you gave me and this note. He'll be expecting you. If you and Conrart are going to do this every decade we need to make sure the herbs you need are always on hand."
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Elizabeth stood quietly beside Herald-Healer Tykir and Healer's Dean Dolan waiting for Herald Yozak to appear. If she was honest with herself she wasn't sure how she should act around Herald Tykir, he was after all her lover's little brother. Still he was both a colleague and one of Valdemar's honored Heralds, it made working with him interesting. Dolan had called them here to address an apparent issue with two of the Herald's hence Herald-Healer Tykir's presence at this meeting. The fact that she and I'Ryk had been called in as well told her exactly which two Heralds they were likely to be discussing. Heralds Conrart and Yozak had been placed under their care for the simple reason that their anatomy was slightly different from normal. As the two authorities on Change-children, whose anatomies often differed from the unchanged, she and the man she had already begun to see as her mate were uniquely suited to the task of looking after their medical health. I'Ryk however was currently with a patient so she would relay the information gleaned here to him that night after dinner.
In some ways it was odd, originally both Herald's had been assigned to I'Ryk since at the time she'd still had another six months before she received her greens. She'd been called into I'Ryk's office one day however, because while Herald Yozak had had absolutely no problem with the arrangement Herald Conrart on the other hand had refused to let I'Ryk anywhere near him. To this day she was the boy's primary caregiver. Which was odd because she would have thought he'd be far more comfortable with a male healer; most men his age were. Hellfires, she would have expected the boy to be more leery of her claws then I'Ryk. However he was more comfortable with her, claws and all.
Sure enough a few minutes after they'd gathered in the greenhouse used by the healers to grow specific medicinal herbs, Herald Yozak appeared, looking a little embarrassed and bringing with him a rich, heady musk.
She sneezed almost violently in an attempt to get the smell out of her nostrils before she reacted to it. However her body reacted to the scent before she could stop it. Hellfires, he reeks! She thought harshly. Why does he reek of sex and not sex as in he's recently had it, but sex in the come and get it sense?
Yozak walked in and nodded to the gathered people. "You asked me to meet you here Healer Dolan?"
Dolan smiled at the Young man as she tried desperately not to fidget. "Queen Selenay tells me you have a slight medical issue that we need to address. Unfortunately Healer I'Ryk was unable to attend this little meeting, but Healer Elizabeth is here in his place and Tykir is here because… well we're not really sure but it seemed like a good idea. Now could you please describe in detail exactly what this 'Rutt' does to you?"
Ah hellfires, that explains his scent.
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Elizabeth felt her tail twitch as she listened to Yozak explain, it sounded a lot like what happened to several of her change-child patients who went through heat. However it was odd Yozak was a male. It did make sense though humans came into season once a month for about a week, and dogs came into season once or twice a year for the better part of a month, so why couldn't a dᴂmon come into season for six months out of every decade? Then again why did males have cycles of fertility at all?
The tea Yozak mentioned sounded interesting and she couldn't help wondering if perhaps she could adapt it to work for change-children. The only problem was that in order to learn exactly what it did and how to make it she would have to stay in the same room with the man for longer then she'd wish.
It wasn't that she didn't like the man, she did; it was hard not to like the man. He had a great sense of humor. It was just that she unfortunately was one of the change children who had that particular problem. She was due to come into season in a little over a week and his scent was all but intoxicating.
"Could you write down the recipe for that tea? I want to see if I can use it for change-children in heat." She said softly.
Yozak blinked, "the tea I drink is designed to help with Rutt, trust me it won't work. However there is a tea that women and Submissives drink while in heat that may work. I can teach you how to brew it if you'd help me find the herbs."
"What in the nine hells is a submissive?" Tykir asked sharply.
Yozak snarled, paused, and then flushed, "A Submissive, is a male who goes through Heat rather than Rutt. There aren't many of them, but it does happen."
"How is that even possible?" Dolan asked quietly, "and why would a male go through heat? It makes no sense."
"I don't know they just do. Probably for the same reason a very small portion of our women go through Rutt." Yozak retorted. "It's just a fact of life for my people."
"What do you call women who go through Rutt?" Elizabeth enquired curiously.
Yozak ran a hand through his hair, his face resembling a tomato in color when he replied, "They're called Dominants although Rutting males can sometimes be referred to as that too. Males who go through Heat are referred to as Submissive and I have never heard a female referred to as such. Now can we please stop talking about this?"
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I'Ryk smiled to himself as he finished the paperwork attached to the last patient he'd seen today. There was less than a mark until the Dinner bell tolled. He couldn't help his good mood, he didn't have any more patients, and with the exception of the interview he had with the family of a prospective student, regarding the boy's possible acceptance, he had nothing more to do today. It wasn't normally one of his duties, but they boy and his family had traveled from the outskirts of Valdemar on the advice of a passing Herald, after the child had accidently healed an arrow wound, and nearly killed himself in the process. Dolan couldn't see the child today as his attention had been called elsewhere by the crown, so the duty had passed to him. The boy's interview was scheduled for the candle mark after dinner. Great as it was for the Collegia as a whole to have new students admitted, it was a major bump in his day.
He was planning to propose to Elizabeth that night over dinner, it was going to be a little difficult to work everything into the hour he had to work with. Particularly since he and Elizabeth where going into the city for dinner. But he was confident that he could manage it. Elizabeth would understand if he took a break from the romance to handle the interview and find someone to show the child around the Collegia. She understood duty. Still he could have done without the inconvenience. Idly he wondered if he should just leave his lover a note and push dinner back until after the boy's interview.
It would defiantly be easier.
He'd write her a note about the change in time, and put it on her desk where she was sure to see it when she came back. I'Ryk sighed as he pulled out a sheet of paper, a quill pen, and an ink well.
He'd only just finished writing it when his door slammed open; Elizabeth was standing in the doorway when he looked up. Her tail was twitching rapidly, as she sniffed the air, her ears tucked back so that he could only just make out the black tips against her beautiful hair. He rose to his feet at the sight of her; she was flushed underneath the short white fur that covered her cheeks.
"Are you free?" she enquired as she shut the door behind her, her claws digging small furrows into the wood.
He offered her a smile, carefully not showing his teeth - he didn't really know why but he didn't think it was a good idea right now. "For the next couple of hours and then Dolan wants me to interview a possible new trainee; I'm sorry but I'm going to have to postpone dinner for about an hour, hour and a half at most. I'm sorry."
"It's okay," she replied, thought her voice sounded quite strained. "I- I want you, I, take me please."
I'Ryk was across the small room before her words had even consciously registered in his mind. "Let's go back to my rooms." he said huskily.
Elizabeth shook her head and buried her nose in his chest. "No," she moaned. "Take me here."
He blinked; aside from the one time on Beltane they'd never had sex anywhere other than in bed. Elizabeth hadn't wanted to risk anyone likening her to an animal ever again - her looks had gotten her plenty of that before Herald Skiff had rescued her and her siblings. "Are you sure?" he asked after a second's consideration.
She nodded vigorously, "Please, take me, take me now."
Reaching out with one hand he locked the door to ensure their continued privacy, then he scooped her up carried her the short distance to his desk and placed her on it after she'd, helpfully - if somewhat messily - cleared its cluttered surface with her tail. It only took a minute to get her pants down enough for him to start peeling off her small clothes.
Lord and Lady she was wet and dripping with arousal already.
He pushed her green robes up, rather roughly while she fumbled for the ties of his pants and freed his already hard penis from its cloth prison. He kissed her lips, and started fondling her before inserting himself into the folds of her womanhood.
What followed was almost frantic.
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Elizabeth lay sprawled on I'Ryk's desk, panting. She couldn't believe she'd just done that. She'd never allowed herself to act on her heat and truthfully she was humiliated to think she had acted so animalistic. She hated to think of how I'Ryk was likely to react to her behavior. When he'd first started courting her she'd been wholly convinced that the man had only been interested in her because she was a change-child. His fascination with them had been clear, as had his fascination with her. It had taken the better part of a year before she had been willing to even consider him.
"Not that I'm complaining, but what brought that about?" I'Ryk asked from directly above her.
Oh hellfires how am I supposed to get out of this one?
I'Ryk sighed, "You're in heat aren't you?" he enquired gently.
She blinked up at him completely flabbergasted. How had he known? She'd always been so careful.
He got off of her, helped her to sit up and sat down calmly in his desk chair. "Honey, it's okay. You can't help what your body needs. Humans go through cycles of fertility too; they're just not as pronounced. As for how I knew, honey we're both Healers and you … hide from me every year for two weeks." He gently squeezed her clawed hand. "It wasn't hard to put everything together."
"I- I'm sorry I lied." She replied softly, "And I'm sorry about this, I'm not supposed to go into heat for another week or so, but Yozak is in season, and the man reeks and I was stuck in a room with him for 3 hours trying to see if the tea the Mazoku use for their cycles can be adapted for use with change children. Sadly that required our first finding the plants to make the teas which took an extremely long time. Since most of the plants look completely different."
I'Ryk smiled at her, "you have nothing to apologize for love." He said gently.
Elizabeth looked down, "I spent a little more than 3 hours with Yozak, who is in Rutt, and I think I'm going to go into heat early. Lord and Lady, I'm so sorry."
"For what?"
She looked at him for a full minute before answering his gentle inquiry. "When I'm in heat I'm more fertile. Lady bright, what if… I never should have let my hormones control me."
I'Ryk pulled her gently off of the desk and into his lap. For a moment he just held her, and then he lowered his hand to her stomach and got the faraway look that was associated with healingsight. After a minute he spoke, his voice gentle. "You're not ovulating yet so unless we make sure you catch you won't."
Elizabeth sighed and snuggled into his chest completely relieved, it was nice to know she hadn't ruined his life and that she wasn't going to have to drink childsbane and hope she was one of the change-children the herb actually worked on. She'd been resting against his chest for a while and was almost asleep when I'Ryk spoke again.
"I was planning to ask you this properly over dinner but now seems like as good a time as any-"
She interrupted him before he could finish, seeing where his train of thought was leading; "Ask me tonight love."
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Ambermoon sighed; young Conrart was either lifebound or dangerously obsessed with Herald Yozak. It didn't matter what they were talking about the boy always swung back to Yozak like a compass needle to north. He'd been carefully pushing their conversations in a way that would reveal a lifebond since Holly had suspected the boy was. It had only taken two or three conversations with the boy for him to make his assessment and come to his conclusion. He'd spent every conversation since trying to gently point out the lifebond to the young Herald. It had yet to work, Conrart just refused to see it. Actually Ambermoon was fairly certain that Conrart saw his affection for Herald Yozak and the man's returned affections as 'safe'; which meant that the only way he was going to get Conrart to step out of his comfort zone was to push him out of it.
Tomorrow they left White Griffon and started the trip to Haven; according to Holly they would be there two to three weeks before Beltane. He planned to shove the boy out of his comfort zone tonight, so that he returned to Haven having either acknowledged the fact that he was in love with his best friend or the fact that they were Lifebonded. Either one would be a breakthrough and would lead to the boy accepting the other.
Ambermoon hoped the boy accepted the fact that he loved his best friend since that would make accepting the lifebond easier, desirable even. He looked up and smiled gently when he heard Conrart politely asking admittance. Smiling he called the boy in and gestured to one of the pillows on the floor before pouring tea for them both and taking a seat.
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Conrart sat quietly on what he'd begun to think of as his bolder. It was silly and he knew it, but the bolder reminded him of one of the large spikes of earth and stone, Gwendal was known for during the war. It was also close enough to the sea that it gave him comfort like a security blanket of salt water. Ambermoon and Holly had been relentless in their attempt to get him to admit to the fact that he was lifebonded to Yozak. He'd finally had no choice but to leave. He remembered screaming at them that they were wrong. That Yozak was simply his best friend; they had an unusually close friendship it didn't mean he was in love with the man.
Love was dangerous.
He'd loved Gwilherm and that had gotten him nothing but pain.
He couldn't stand the idea of being in that situation with Yozak.
He wouldn't, couldn't be hurt like that again.
Yozak was his safety, and always had been. The man was as much his security blanket as … well his baby blanket had been before his father took it away. Yozak had been a source of safety for a very long time. He'd been a rock that Conrart could shelter against and his only source of safety for so long. Conrart didn't know how to handle the idea of him being anything but safe. A part of him screamed that even if they were lifebonded or mated, Yozak would never hurt him. However that part of him was overridden by a larger part of his very being that screamed in manic terror. Gwilherm had been the captain of his guard, a man who by all rights should never have been a threat to him.
Still the man had hurt him
He wasn't in love.
But did he have to be?
Did he have to be in love to be Lifebonded?
No he didn't
Vanyel had explained lifebonds to him once; all it meant was that your souls were compatible. That your strengths and weaknesses complimented each other so that where one was weak the other was strong. A lifebond could manifest itself as simply a very deep friendship. Not all lifebonds included sex.
Okay so he was lifebond to Yozak – his best friend – he could live with that. At least now he knew why they were so close; why a friendship that shouldn't have lasted past puberty was a grounding factor for him. At least now he knew why Yozak always seemed to know when to hold him and give comfort or when to back off and let him be. It explained so much, why they always knew what the other was feeling, why there were times when it was hard to tell where he ended and Yozak began. They were lifebond, he'd accept that. It didn't mean they were in love and it sure as hell didn't mean they were going to have sex.
He was never having sex again
Ever
Sex was pain and humiliation and he wanted no part of it.
Not now
Not back then
Not ever
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*Lady Ulrike normally looks to be 8, (her adult self, she looks to be mid to late 30s possibly early 40s.) Lady Undine is a couple thousand years old and physically looks to be about 7, her twin who is not an oracle looks to be in her 90's. All we know about them is that they are both very powerful and look young to conserve energy.
A.N.
The rating will be moving to M in a few chapters time.