Chapter 44: The Ending of a Friendship

Emperor Melles smirked as he surveyed the seven white horses his hostlers had brought before him. Each one was the progeny of the purest white horses in his empire, and each one had come to him at a significant loss in tax income; their breeders would be tax free for at least two years. Soon he'd be sending these seven horses and their riders into Valdemar and the surrounding kingdoms where they would undermine the reputation of Valdemar and her Heralds, and thus bring the kingdom to its knees.

However, since Heralds were fabled to be one with their mounts, his agents would spend the next month learning to be one with their "companions" and learning the carefully created signals these horses had been trained to respond to, so that the commands went unnoticed by on lookers.

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Conrart Weller winced as he made his way to the Heralds Bath; in the week since his fight with Yozak he lost more sleep than he actually managed to get. He missed Yozak terribly, and his inability to sleep was getting in the way of the rest of his life. Kerowyn and Alberich had given him the responsibility of helping to teach the new trainees weapons work. Apparently the crown thought that he'd make a good teacher in addition to his other duties as a diplomat.

Teaching the trainees wasn't that difficult although he had been accused of "not playing by the proper rules," which had amused him greatly. He couldn't understand why the nobles of this country suffered from the extreme misconception that swordplay was just that-a play, with rules that controlled the engagements. That may have been true in part, but he wasn't training them just to see them killed on their first real engagement.

Dealing with his students had been ridiculously easy, but then again it had been a while since he had to train someone so green. Greta had been his last student back in Shin Makoku, and he was happy with the girl's progress. By human standards she was fairly good; almost as good as Wolfram. Unlike her father the king, Greta could at least hold off a group of assailants long enough for help to get to her.

-which was a lot more than he could say about any of his current students.

He was fairly certain a few of them wouldn't even know which end of the sword to hold without the aid of their Companions.

: Chosen, that's a bit harsh. : Van piped up from where he was frolicking in Companion's field with Steffen.

"It's true, though." Conrart replied mildly, drawing a look from a passing servant. Must be new, he thought idly, I give him a week before he either gets used to it or runs away in fear of his sanity.

: Chosen, just because you are in a bad mood doesn't mean you have to take it out on everyone else. : Van responded.

: I'm not taking it out on everyone else-if I was there'd be a lot of annoying nobles visiting the Healers.: Conrart replied tartly.

Vanyel sighed,: You're acting like a woman before her moon days right now, you know that?:

Conrart huffed and slammed up his shields, in annoyance.

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Yozak swallowed-he was finally going to go and see about apologizing to Conrart. He'd intended to do it a few days ago at dinner, but the other man had gotten up and left as soon as he'd arrived. For all intents and purposes, it seemed as if Conrart were still furious with him and he couldn't gauge his friend's emotions when his shields were being held so tightly. However, more than 12 decades of friendship allowed him to read the subtle signs present in Conrart's body language with as much ease as he could have read the old story book he'd been taught how to read from, and those signs told him Conrart was more hurt then angry.

Still, he was worried-it wasn't like Conrart to avoid a confrontation.

He paused briefly in front of his friend's door, and took a deep breath, gathering his courage before he knocked.

Conrart looked beautiful when he opened the door, with the shaft of late afternoon light flowing in from one of the windows through his cracked door and bathing him in its soft light. His scent wafted out with him, gently caressing Yozak's senses,

enticing him . . . encouraging his every lurid thought . . .

He made a soft, almost purring noise of proposition before he even knew what he was doing.

Scandalizing mental images of his beloved best friend's beautiful eyes full of lust gazing up at him, mewing softly while he thrust his aching penis into Conrart's tight, wet hole, assaulted his mind before he could even think to stop them, just like he desperately wanted to assault Conrart's manhood in more ways than one. He wanted to scoop the other man up into his arms, carry him swiftly into the bedroom and make sweet, frantic love to him until Conrart's body couldn't hold a single drop more of his luscious seed. He wanted to make Conrart his. He wanted the entire world to know that Conrart's beautiful body belonged to him and him alone.

The sound of a door slamming shut snapped him out of his thoughts, and he gazed stupidly at Conrart's closed door wondering just when he'd slammed it shut and how long he'd been standing there staring.

Damned rutt! he thought crossly, it's more trouble than it's worth.

Raising his hand he knocked softly, "Conrart," he called "Please come out, I -"

"Go the hell away, Yozak." Conrart yelled, his voice cracking as he spoke.

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James smiled to himself as he put the finishing touches on the descriptions of Companion tack and Heraldic whites that he'd gained through spending the last week spying on Valdemar's Heralds through his scrying dish. Heraldic uniforms would be easy enough to simulate with a white undershirt, white over-tunic, and breeches with white riding boots. The tack worn by the Herald's horse was interesting; the color was predominantly royal blue with silver accents. The saddle had a high cantle with a prominent pommel, and the bridle was oddly elaborate with small silver bells.

Nothing too hard.

Emperor Melles would be pleased.

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Conrart Weller sat up in bed with a very bad feeling that was making it impossible for him to sleep. He groaned and climbed out of his bed. This last week had been hell. About half way through, he'd started following Yozak around from a distance like a lost and frightened puppy. It was damned embarrassing.

But he hadn't been able to stop himself.

It had been all he could do to not to be obvious about it.

Even that was becoming increasingly difficult.

Last night he'd slammed the door on Yozak, but all he'd really wanted to do was throw himself at his friend's feet and beg him for forgiveness. He wouldn't lower himself to that simply because he was in heat. Yozak would be disgusted with him.

With a sigh, he reluctantly got out of bed, pulled on his shoes and grabbed his cloak. His birthday was in 6 days, and he was already beginning to feel the effects of that hated day. He wouldn't be able to go back to sleep with the persistently nagging bad feeling that arose in his breast; not that he particularly wanted to go back to the nightmares that were already starting to plague his dreams. He wanted to be in the safety of Yozak's arms, and wanted to spend his birthday in the shelter of his best friend's embrace. Right now he just wanted to be safe.

So he left his rooms and headed for the only other place he knew of where he could find that safety.

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Steffen awoke to the soft sound of someone slipping into Vanyel's stall. He sighed and prepared himself to lead his Chosen out. The young boy was still suffering from nightmares of his father and the rather vicious beating he'd endured the day of his choosing. He knew Vanyel didn't mind their small visitor when the boy came seeking shelter, but still, Vanyel was sleeping soundly and he hated to wake the other Companion.

Needless to say he was utterly flabbergasted when he saw not his Chosen but Vanyel's.

Beside him Vanyel went onto his knees in the straw. Steffen was a bit surprised-he hadn't expected a young man of Conrart's age to come and sleep in his Companon's stall. The young Herald threw him a curious glance, and then shifted his gaze over to Vanyel. He didn't know what his life-bonded had said to the boy, but he came forward and settled himself lightly against Vanyel's shoulder, curling up inside his cloak.

A minute later he was asleep.

Steffen went to his knees and lay down beside Vanyel, curious about what could have driven a man who was over 135 winters old to seek the comfort of his Companion.

: He may be almost 139, Steff, but in every way that counts he's barely older than you were when we first met.: Vanyel informed him gently, before lowering his head back into the straw.

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Yozak sighed as he noticed that Conrart was following him yet again from a bit of a distance. This was getting damned annoying. It was clear that Conrart wanted to reestablish their friendship, but it was also clear his stubborn proud prince was not quite ready to yet.

He took a deep breath and decided to take the first step towards repairing their relationship, which was going to be interesting since his friend's pride was just as prickly as either of his brothers- he was just better at hiding it. To make matters worse, Yozak still felt anger rising to consume him every time he thought about Ambermoon, and the few times he'd actually seen Conrart and Ambermoon together he wanted to kill something.

He turned and headed over towards his friend. To his slight amusement, Conrart turned and walked away. When he sped up, so did Conrart; it would have been funny if he wasn't so aggravated by the other man's behavior. He picked up the pace and reaching out, he snagged his friend by the belt. It was time they settled this here and now.

To his surprise, Conrart twisted out of his grip, brought up his hand, and backhanded him – hard. "Unhand me this instant!" he all but shrieked.

Normally Yozak would have laughed and teased his friend about his shrill tone, but now he was too angry. Despite the herbal tea he had that morning, he reacted to the sharp pain with barely retained fury. How dare Conrart strike him!

He snarled and the next thing he knew Conrart was pinned face first to the wall, with the offending arm tucked up behind him. Suddenly horrified, he let go of his friend and fled. It was obvious that he needed another dose of tea.

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Conrart sighed as he watched his student's drilling through half lidded eyes. Kerowyn had stepped out leaving the class in his 'capable hands' and he honestly wished she hadn't as he was fairly certain he was about to fall asleep. The last 2 weeks had been hell, he and Yozak were officially fighting, and his driving need to placate Yozak before spreading his legs and letting the other man take him had driven him to keep their fight alive. He was furious with Yozak for his earlier comments, but he also craved the man's attention. Frankly his own behavior was alarming him of late. He wanted the other man's attention to the point that even negative attention would do, and he'd caught himself picking fights with his friend.

What was he three?

He sighed; this wasn't the time or the place to be contemplating his own strange psychosis. He pulled his attention back to the class, he'd give them a few more minutes to drill on their own and then he'd drill them individually.

"It's rather dangerous not to be paying attention to your surroundings." Said a voice he'd have recognized in a drugged sleep.

His eyes snapped open just in time to see Yozak's practice blade coming after him. He yelped and flung himself to the side, wondering just when he'd let his mind wonder again. He narrowly missed being brained by his friend's blade. He rolled to the side and up onto his knees a few feet away from the other man in a bid to buy himself enough time to draw his own weapon. The clash of blunt steel on blunt steel rang across the sallie as he caught Yozak's blade and turned it aside. He lunged to his feet and forced the other man back. Their blades rang in a familiar rhythm as Conrart tried to get his anger under control.

He knew what Yozak was trying to say with each stroke of his blade, but he was to angry to even consider the apology for what it was. He spun to the side neatly avoiding Yozak's thrust and brought his own blade down but his friend was ready for the move and to Conrart's extreme shock bound his blade and wrenched it from his hand.

Tonight was Beltane, and he already hadn't slept in more than 24 hours. He was exhausted, humiliated, and angry. He didn't stop to think before he did something so entirely stupid it bordered on suicidal. He snarled, lunged forward neatly avoiding Yozak's practice blade, and went for his friend with his bare hands.

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Yozak had just enough time to react; even half asleep Conrart was fast. He answered Conrart's challenge with a deeper more resonate snarl of his own, wondering briefly why Conrart's snarl sounded almost as if his voice had never dropped before putting it out of his mind and lashing out at his friend.

Conrart had issued a serious challenge – he'd never even heard the man do that in Rutt – and much as he hated the idea, his own Rutt meant he had no choice but to respond.

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Kerowyn held her head high as she marched back into the sallie, Herald I'Ryn at her heel, she hadn't wanted to believe it when one of the Bardic Trainees had come running into her office and informed her that Heralds Yozak and Conrart were currently engaging in an all out fist fight in the sallie. She was greeted by the jeering voices of the few Blues shouting "Fight, Fight, Fight;" the only other noise in the room was the sound of the two men snarling.

"Stop it this instant!" she shouted at the sight of them rolling across the floor.

The sound of tearing cloth was the only answer, as the sleeve of Yozak's whites gave way beneath Conrart's nails. They rolled across the floor scattering trainees and knocking over a weapons rack as they went before fetching up against the far wall. With a sigh she marched across the room and grabbed Yozak's shoulder to pull him off of the smaller man, ignoring I'Ryn's shouted warning.

"Yozak, knock it off." She snapped as she tried to pull the man off.

Yozak lashed out at her with one arm, sending her stumbling backwards, and snarled "This does not concern you!" in an almost feral tone.

She caught herself before she fell and watched in a mixture of annoyance and horror as Yozak somehow managed to flip Conrart over, without getting off of him, so that the man lay face down on the floor struggling to get up. Yozak pinned him deftly with one hand and shoved the man's long brown hair out of the way with the other. Then snarling like a rabid fox, he grabbed the collar of Conrart's shirt and tore it free with a single movement. Then he leaned in and nipped the now exposed skin at the back of Conrart's neck. He paused for a moment his teeth against his friend's throat and growled menacingly.

Conrart went limp beneath him and whimpered at the sound, clearly surrendering.

"Good boy." Yozak growled in the Mazoku tongue, "Now act like it." That said he got off of his friend's back and left. Calling "Talk to me again when you can behave like a person" over his shoulder as he did so.

Through it all Conrart remained motionless, climbing silently to his feet only after the other man had left.

Kero couldn't help thinking that the boy looked very much like a chastised puppy. The students sniggering in the background didn't help the image at all. She sighed, she wanted an explanation but she wasn't about to chew out a fellow Herald in front of a bunch of trainees. "Dismissed. All of you." She snapped noting with mild amusement that the Trainees fled as if terrified she'd bite them.

"I'll go talk to Yozak." I'Ryn said simply and walked out.

Conrart met her gaze, with his own and she noted briefly that the silver in his eyes was more prominent, the fact that he had slit pupils was also blatantly obvious. Idly she wondered if there was something wrong with him. "Explain now." She demanded as soon as the last of the students had left the room.

"It's none of your concern Kerowyn." He replied softly.

Kero raised an eyebrow, "You made it my concern when you got into a brawl while you were supposed to be teaching."

Conrart turned his back on her and righted one of the fallen racks, "You wouldn't understand." He insisted softly as he began to clean up the fallen weapons.

"Try me?" She demanded crossing her arms and watching him continue to clean.

Conrart paused, in what he was doing and then looked down at the ground his cheeks tinged red. "It's a dᴂmon thing Kerowyn you wouldn't understand."

"Tough because I'm not letting you out of this room until you explain yourself." She retorted. Then when Conrart looked like he was about to bolt, she walked over to him and gently squeezed his shoulder. "Make me understand Conrart." She said gently. She wasn't his mother, but right now the boy looked as if he could really use the advice of a female friend.

" I – Yoz-" he paused clearly at a loss.

Kero sighed, and walking across the room righted a bench that had been knocked over during his fight and sat down lightly patting the wood beside her. To her surprise Conrart came over without putting up even a token of a fight.

"We are lifebonded," he said softly. "Why do we have to be lifebonded? I don't want to lose my best friend."

Kero sighed, "Being lifebonded doesn't change the fact that Yozak is your best friend Conrart."

Conrart buried his face in his hands, "Yes it does." He said softly. "I – I don't want to have to think about him like that!"

"Those thoughts have nothing to do with being lifebound." Kero informed him gently, rather amused by his denial.

Conrart snorted, "I didn't think about him like this before… much." He replied, the last word so soft she barely heard him.

Kero tried desperately not to laugh as she retorted "You love him Conrart there is nothing wrong with that."

"Yes there is!" Conrart insisted his face white as the blood drained away. "I can't think of Yozak that way, I can't, it's wrong!"

Kerowyn reached out and grabbed his eloquent, finely boned chin firmly in one hand, "Why?" she demanded, "because of the difference in your ranks? You didn't strike me as the type to care about such petty things. So Yozak is peasant born while you are a prince– yes I know who you are – why should rank mater? Here of all places, when the circle could care less who you bed so long as both of you are willing and of age? What makes it wrong Conrart?"

Conrart shook his head almost franticly, "I'm in heat," he all but sobbed, "I can't deal with this. I – I don't want that but I –I can't stop thinking about Yozak and …that."

"Then stop fighting it Conrart, what will be, will be." She replied gently, and then suddenly understanding she added, "Yozak's not the type of man to take advantage of you, if you're not ready for the physical aspects of your feelings, tell him."

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Conrart swallowed, tonight was Beltane and he didn't want to be alone. Maybe he should take Kerowyn's advice. He needed to go and talk to Yozak. He stopped short of his friend's door, he could hear Yozak and I'Ryn's heated voices. He couldn't help the wave of jealousy that rose in his breast, and he realized with a flash of humiliation and shame that he was hissing.

He was confused by his own possessiveness – submissive didn't have the right to be possessive (Gwilherm had taken pains to teach him that). Not wanting to get caught and risk the outcome of Yozak's anger he turned and fled.

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"Just answer one thing" I'Ryn asked him almost gently "why did you bite Conrart?"

Yozak blinked, "When did I bite Conrart?" he asked after a moment's hesitation.

"When the two of you were fighting, you were on top of him and somehow managed to flip him over onto his stomach, you bared the back of his neck and bit down, while dropping your weight onto him and growling – rather menacingly I might add."

Yozak went beet red with humiliation before the blood drained away as he realized exactly what he'd done and the only possible outcome of it. Conrart was going to kill him, if not now then as soon as he went into Rutt. He couldn't believe he'd bitten the other man, Conrart wasn't a submissive, and a dominant sure as hell didn't discipline another dominant with his teeth – not if he wanted to keep them.

"Conrart is going to skin me." He moaned, "Before dousing me in vinegar."

"It can't be that bad." I'Ryn replied gently.

Yozak sighed, he didn't know if he could explain how badly he'd trespassed without explaining more then he really wanted to. He sat down on the edge of his coffee table, and looked at his friend for a moment before gazing down at the floor, to embarrassed to make eye contact. Conrart often teased him about his brazen nature, but even he had his limits.

"Demon's bite," he said simply. "It's natural for us, we're … mouthy I guess you could say." He could feel his skin heating up; until he was sure his face was redder then his hair. "However we only bite those who we're… intimate with."

"Are intimate with, or wish to be intimate with?" I'Ryn asked gently.

Yozak wasn't sure he could blush any harder but he made an attempt, "Are intimate with." He replied firmly. "I shouldn't have bitten Conrart, certainly not on the back of the neck like that. He's going to hate me."

I'Ryn raised an eyebrow, "It can't be that bad Yozak," she said softly. "The two of you have been friends for more than a century and I know you wish to be intimate with him."

"I treated him like an errant submissive," he moaned. "I don't think he'll forgive me that, particularly when I keep doing it!"

I'Ryn's eyebrow climbed higher until it had almost joined her hairline. "You keep doing it?" she enquired. "You mean you've bitten him before?"

Yozak groaned, he hadn't meant to share that. "Well no not that, but I keep treating him like a submissive. He's not a submissive. He's a dominant just like me, and you don't give another dominant a disciplinary nip. It's just not done. Great one I keep propositioning him with a purr and acting like he needs to be protected. Why do I keep treating him like he's a submissive who needs my protection? He may not be nearly as dominant as I am but he could still wipe the floor with me in a fair fight. And what's worse I keep treating him like he's my submissive! Why in the hell do I keep doing that?"

I'Ryn sighed, "I can't answer that," she replied, before asking "are you sure Conrart isn't a Submissive?"

Yozak snorted derisively, and tried not to laugh IF Conrart's a submissive then I'm the maou he thought dismissively. He looked up at his friend and shook his head, "No Conrart is not a submissive; he's not as dominant as I am, but he does go through Rutt."

"Is there any reason why you would be acting like this in regards to Conrart?" I'Ryn enquired.

Yozak thought about it for a moment, there was only one explanation for his behavior that he could think of, but Conrart was far too old, and he knew his friend to well for it to work. "If Conrart and I had been younger, and I had never seen him go through Rutt, then I would tell you that Conrart was likely a submissive with a mostly dominant personality. It's about as rare as males who can conceive, but it does happen."

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Conrart gazed at the flickering flames of the fire in his rooms, and wondered just how long it would take for the alcohol to take away the pain and the fear. He was so tired he just wanted to sleep, but he'd been lying awake, to terrified to close his eyes because he didn't want to relive his agony afresh or just too damned scared to sleep. For more than half a century, since he was 85, the only way he'd been able to sleep at this time of year - other than the onetime Gisela had knocked him out – was when he was held securely in Yozak's arms.

He took another swallow of the burning liquor and tried to forget. He wanted to escape, but he couldn't – he'd never been able to escape his memories. He knew it was stupid, he knew it was dangerous but if he couldn't escape them safely – maybe he could drown them, if only for an hour.

Slowly, over the course of several bottles his world began to fade into darkness. His last panicked thought before he passed out drunk, was that he'd forgotten to lock his door, and Gwilherm was going to come.

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A.N. please stay with us the whole dominant submissive thing will be properly explained soon. Conrart is highly confused thanks to Gwilherm. But Thing will eventually get sorted out. Also this will be moving into the M category in a few chapters. Please read and review.