Saturday found Rose by the pool wearing a green one piece swimsuit with a pair of white shorts. She had no intentions of going swimming. She just wanted to spend the day lounging by the pool and thinking of the big art project she was to put together by Wednesday. Jack had said he'd help her, but he's seemed so distracted himself the last few days, she hadn't had the heart to ask him for help. Not to mention that things between them have been kind of tense. It wasn't the bad tension either, it was more of a...lustful tension that neither one of them knew how to handle, so they've taken to avoid being alone with each other much, concerning their friends, even Julie. With them avoiding alone time with each other, Rose wasn't really expecting Jack to show up at the mansion, which was why she was surprised when Katarina walked over to the pool with Jack by her side.

"Look who has finally dropped by for a visit. I haven't seen him around here in a while, Rose. You have to stop hiding him," Katarina laughed. She watched as Rose quickly got to her feet, nearly dropping her books.

"Jack, what a surprise. I wasn't expecting you," Rose stammered, quickly running her hands over her hair, hoping that she didn't look a mess.

"I'm sorry, I should have called, but my cell was out of power and Julie was using hers. Talking to Derrick nonstop again," Jack chuckled, pushing his own hair out of his eyes, which seemed even bluer than usual with the sun shining in them, which made Rose feel a little weak. She quickly sat down and patted the deck chair beside her own.

"Come have a seat. I was just attempting to catch a tan. Tends to lead to disaster, but I'm hoping that this year will be different," Rose chuckled.

Jack walked over and took the seat next to hers, his smile never fading. "Well, maybe it's just as well. I mean...you are beautiful just the way you are."

Rose's blush deepened, remembering that Jack now knew what she looked like with her clothes off. He seemed to realize the same, because his face suddenly reddened and he quickly looked away.

"Well, I guess I'll leave you two alone to your school work. Rose, don't keep Jack too late. We don't want him to get in trouble with his guardians," Katarina warned before heading back into the house.

Rose turned back and looked at him as he turned his attention to his bookbag, searching through it for something. "What are you looking for?"

"An application to an art academy in New York. It's one of those schools where you have to be extra talented to get into. My Uncle thinks that I have what it takes, but I have my doubts," Jack explained, pulling out the sheets of paper that was the application. "Ugh, I must be insane to be doing this. Like I actually have a chance of getting in."

"I didn't know that you were interested in going to school in New York," Rose felt her heart drop. If Jack was leaving for New York, that meant he'd be away from her. Not that she'd want him to give up a great opportunity like this, she just didn't want to be away from him.

"Well, the subject had just come up with my Uncle. He thinks that I should do something with my drawings and that this may lead to other opportunities. I think he's biased, but what's the harm in applying, right? The worse they can say is no," Jack shrugged, glancing over the application.

"Why would they do that? Your Uncle is right. You are very very talented. There is no way they'd reject you," Rose replied, hoping to hide any hint of sadness, not wanting to affect his decision. New York could be a good opportunity for Jack and she didn't want to be the reason he passed it up. Besides, who said that she couldn't join him. She had yet to apply to any colleges, but she heard that NYU's law department was really good.

"I wish I had the same faith in my abilities that you and my Uncle have," Jack chuckled, printing his name on the application.

Rose leaned over and peaked and had to giggle at the middle name he wrote. "Bartholomew? That sounds like something my mother would name a son."

"Hey, Bartholomew is a very popular name. I mean, Bart Simpson for one...," Jack snorted, also amused. "Ah, who am I kidding? My mom had to have been high on pain medication to have picked that middle name. At least she gave me a normal first name, huh?"

Rose couldn't help her laughter. "Bartholomew or Jack...doesn't change the man you are."

"So what are your plans Rose?" Jack asked, keeping his eyes on the application, afraid of what would happen if he looked at her for too long. Not that she was bad to look at, far from it. It was the desire that looking at her brought up. He wanted to touch her skin so much and with so much of it in plain sight right now, it'd be difficult to keep that desire restrained.

"After graduation? I was thinking of becoming a lawyer like my father, but not charge so much. I want to help people like you and Derrick. I want people that need help to be able to afford it, you know? So they can have someone on their side to go up against the Nathan Hockley's of the world."

Jack looked up from his application, impressed. "You really want to take on the giants of the world to protect the innocent?"

Rose nodded. "Yes, I do. Girls who had been attacked by the rich and powerful and their sons...they shouldn't feel so afraid to come out, so alone. They need someone in their corner. People like you and Derrick, who get caught in the crossfire, or is in the wrong place at the wrong time...they should be able to afford representation by someone that will work for them and will be unable to be paid off. I love what my father does, but it should be done at a price that is affordable."

"You certainly have the fire for it and I can see you doing it. Up before a judge, arguing for what is right, protecting the helpless and the poor."

"They say that NYU has a great law department," Rose smiled, leaning back in her chair.

Jack looked at her and smiled. "You'd apply to NYU? Just to be me?"

"Of course. Why not? I mean, I really haven't had many schools planned and my plan to be a lawyer is a recent one and if you get into the art academy and I get into NYU, well we won't be going to a strange city alone, but together. It won't be half as scary, right?"

"Rose Dewitt Bukater, you are freaking amazing," Jack grinned, reaching over and stroking her cheek. "I love you."

Rose closed her eyes at his touch and sighed deeply, relishing his touch "I love you too..."

Jack couldn't help himself. Everything about Rose drew him in. Her beauty, kindness, compassion and most of all her strength. He loved everything about this girl and hoped to keep her in his life.

Rose opened her eyes and found herself staring into a world of blue. She leaned in closer and closer until their lips met in what at first started as a gentle kiss, but slowly changed as their arms wrapped around each other and Rose was suddenly on Jack's lap, pressed against his chest as he held her in a gentle hug, as if he was afraid to scare her, yet needing to feel her in his arms.

Rose didn't know how long they were like that, lost in each other, but everything stopped when Jack gasped as Rose scooted closer and ended up pressed against something hard and insistent. That was when she realized where she was and what she was doing and what could happen if they didn't stop kissing. Not that she didn't want it...she was just nervous. It was like she said with Katarina. She wanted to be sure that she didn't have a flashback or anything with Jack. She wanted her first time making love with him to be perfect, the way her real first time should have been.

Both feeling self conscious, they pulled away from each other and Rose was back in her chair, already missing the warmth of being in his arms. To be honest, she had wanted to remain there, but everything was awkward now and it was probably for the best.

"Jack," Rose began, not knowing what to say. What could she say when she kept allowing things to get out of control like this.

"We probably need to talk, avoiding each other isn't helping. I mean...we do and then when we do spend time together...this happens. We need to discuss this change in our relationship. Ignoring it will only make things more awkward," Jack sighed, looking down at his hands, afraid that if he looked at her, he'd have her in his arms again. It was hard enough letting her go once, he didn't know if he'd have the strength to do so again.

"I...I don't mind it. I mean...I like being close to you," Rose sighed, examining her hands as she felt her cheeks redden even more. Why was she finding this so hard to talk about? It was only Jack. She had talked to him about harder things than this! Why did it feel so impossible to talk to him now?

"Like being close to you too. I don't think that's the problem. The problem is...what it leads to...the next step..."

"Making love..."

"Yeah. I want to make it good for you, Rose. I want to make it special. But it won't be special if we let our...desires take us over. I know that your first experience was horrific. I want...I want to give it back to you Rose. I want our first time to be something that will make you see that it doesn't have to be scary, but something beautiful and special."

Something inside her melted at his words. "Jack...I want it to be special too, which is why I'm scared. I mean...I know that you'd never hurt me or anything. It's just, I'm afraid of careening into a flashback and ruining everything. I don't want our first time to be you once again comforting me because of what Cal did. I don't want Cal to have anything to do with it. I just want to be sure that when you and I make love for the first time, there will be no flashbacks or bad memories. There will only be me and you and our love. The love I feel when you hold me in your arms like you did just now. I'm just afraid of ruining everything."

"But Rose, that's not ruining anything. If I can comfort you in anyway...what good am I if I can't comfort you, huh? Make all those bad memories disappear? If what you're afraid of happens, we'll work through it. Nothing is more important to me than your peace of mind. If that means stopping and dealing with the past, so be it. And whenever we do make love, we'll go slow. We'll take your lead and if you feel that it gets to be too much, we'll stop. No problem. That's why I feel that it's important for us to...take our time and plan it out. So it can be special for you and we can take our time and make it an experience that you should have had from the very beginning."

Rose frowned, feeling confused. "Plan it out? But wouldn't that take away the romance of it all?"

"No, not at all," Jack laughed, taking her hand in his. "If anything, it helps make it even more romantic. More romantic than the back seat of a car or my cramped bedroom."

"I like your bedroom. Maybe more than I should," Rose chuckled with a half smile.

"Kind of noticed that, but it's not where I see our first time happening. Too many distractions and interruptions. Our first time should be somewhere private, where it's just the two of us and we have all the time in the world," Jack smiled, gently cupping her cheek in the palm of his hand. "Whenever and wherever we do it, I assure you, I'll be following your lead, alright? I won't do anything you don't want me to or that would feel uncomfortable. You just have to tell me."

Touched, Rose nodded, leaning into his touch once again. She placed her hand over his and looked into his eyes. "Okay...but that doesn't solve the problem of what we do with these feelings and urges we have between now and then. I mean...I kind of...god, not kind of ...I do...I do want to be close to you. All the time...what do we do about that?"

"I don't think it's a problem as long as we both know it won't go any further than that, which I think we do and have shown the proper restraint. I mean, I don't see the harm in cuddling and kissing like we've been doing..."

"Like we were doing just a few minutes ago?" Rose bit her lip, trying not to appear too eager, but unable to help the thrill that ran through her at being that close to him again.

"As long as it doesn't make you feel uncomfortable..."

Rose smiled and slid onto his lap, wrapping her arms around his neck. "I find it very comfortable."

Jack laughed, wrapping his arms around her. "Well then feel free anytime...you little minx."

Rose laughed and cuddled closer, breathing in his scent, allowing her emotions to wash over her. "I love you Jack. More than anything. When we both feel it's right, I indeed want to be with you...fully. And yes, I think planning it out is for the best. For both of us."

They shared a deep kiss that spoke volumes of their feelings for one another, then Rose pulled away and cuddled closer to Jack, resting her head against his shoulder as he again reached for his application to the art academy in New York. Somehow, their talk made being so close easier on both of them. Neither felt the need to panic or anything, now that they knew where the other stood.

"Okay, back to art school. It says here that they want three examples of my work. A still life, a portrait, and a landscape...ugh, I'm terrible at landscapes."

"I can't imagine that. You made me look so beautiful when you drew me and I think you can draw anything and make it come to life."

"You are biased my dear," Jack laughed, kissing her curls. "But thank you. It means a lot coming from my girl."

Rose smiled, as always loving it when he called her his girl. She was never for being thought of belonging to anyone, but she liked being Jack's girl. Just like he was her man. It made their relationship feel more permanent. "Well, I wouldn't mind posing for you again, with my clothes on this time, for your portrait. A still-life can be that vase of flowers in your living room, as for landscapes...well we do live in California. There are plenty of beautiful places to choose from."

"Choosing one is the problem and making it look good is another," Jack snorted.

Rose gasped, sitting up straight. "I know! Daddy is taking Katarina and me to Napa tomorrow. You can come with us. I am sure that you can find something extraordinary to draw."

"But isn't that a family outing?"

"Daddy won't mind and it'll keep me from feeling like a third wheel. Come on, Jack! Say yes! Me and you in wine country...how romantic is that?"

"Rose, it's a little last minute, isn't it? I don't think my Aunt and Uncle will let me go, much less your dad," Jack hugged her close, hating to deny her anything.

"Tell them that it's for the art academy. And don't worry about daddy. You know he likes you. He'll say yes," Rose sighed, really wanting Jack to come with her. After all the avoiding they've been doing, there was some time to be made up for.

"Well...if it's alright with your dad. I can talk to my Aunt and Uncle, but I can't promise anything," Jack gave in, just wanting to make her happy after their heavy conversation. "Would you really come to New York with me?"

"Of course," Rose nodded. "I'd follow you to the moon and back."

"That won't be necessary, Miss. Rose. There's no need to leave planet Earth," Jack laughed, kissing her head. "We'll need to get an apartment though. I doubt that either school would let a non-student live in the dorms."

"We'll have to apartment search...we should go to New York. Check out the apartments."

"Well...I do have to send my samples to the school. Why don't I drop them off in person and you come with me. We can explore the city and price apartments. You can also tour NYU, plus we both can get a feel of the city."

"Oooh, I like that. When do you want to do this, though? I doubt that we can do anything during the Thanksgiving or Christmas breaks...maybe you should just go ahead and send in your paintings once you're finished and we can either visit Spring break or that Summer after graduation. Senior year is so busy, I doubt we'll find any other time," Rose sighed, linking her hands through Jack's. "It doesn't matter to me when we go. Just as long as we're together."

"Yeah. Whatever I end up doing, I want it to be with you," Jack agreed, smiling as she looked up at him.

They leaned into each other and kissed, this time just letting their love and passion for one another flow over them for a few moments, feeling closer to each other than ever before.