Chapter 47: 20 Questions
He froze when he entered the bedroom. Conrart sat in the middle of his bed, up by the headboard, knees drawn up to his chest; rocking slowly back and forth; fear rolling off of him in waves. "Conrart?" he asked gently.
Conrart looked up at him and swallowed. To Yozak's surprise he slid further down the bed and pulled off his nightshirt, dropping it unceremoniously on the floor before turning over. He lay with his face buried in a pillow and, after a moment's hesitation, spread his legs. For a moment Yozak just stood there his mouth hanging open in shock, he could see Conrart shaking from where he stood by the open door. He quickly closed the door; he didn't want anyone seeing Conrart like this. "Conrart, what are you doing?"
"Please, j-just don't make it any more painful than it has to be." Conrart replied, raising his head from the pillow long enough to speak.
"Then it has to be?" Yozak repeated with more than a little alarm.
"Just do it already," Conrart sobbed, "I'm in Heat; I know my place, just get it over with."
Yozak moved slowly to the bed and set down the clothing he was holding. "Your place?" he enquired gently. "Conrart you don't have a place." He said firmly then took a deep breath, and added in a gentle tone. "I won't deny what you're offering is extremely tempting, I want you Conrart. I want to feel you around me, but not like this. Never like this."
Conrart's only response, was to draw his knees up under him, his legs still spread wide and raise his beautiful, toned ass in the air.
Appalled and horrified Yozak got up and headed over to his dresser. Conrart's hair was a rat's nest and he needed to do something to distract himself from the fact that Conrart was almost certainly still a virgin and thus the beautiful and likely extremely tight ass he was offering up for Yozak to plunder had never been explored by anyone. Working the knots out of the other man's hair should be a way to help him ignore the thoughts that kept popping up in his mind. Thoughts of Conrart calling out in ecstasy as Yozak touched him in intimate ways he'd never experienced before. He wanted to spill his seed into Conrart's body, and feel his lover's body tightening around him as they both climaxed – but not like this.
"Sit up Conrart." He said firmly as he sat back down upon the bed, brush in hand.
Conrart sat up; tucking his feet underneath his body so that he rested on his knees and the balls of his feet, his butt raised in a manner that Yozak realized would allow him to be taken without much work. "You can actually sit down Conrart," he said mildly as he began to comb out the long, tangled mane of hair. Conrart's hair was so tangled it was going to take a lot of careful teasing just to free the feathers and beads that accentuated its ethereal beauty. It would give him time to put his own raging libido back in its box and figure out what had gotten into the smaller man. He doubted Conrart had become ready for sex in the hours that had passed since their earlier talk in the damned pink bubble.
Conrart turned his head and watched him as he gently began to work out the tangles. "You're really not going to make me?" he asked carefully and after a moment's hesitation he added. "Now that you know I'm in Heat?"
"What does your heat have to do with you being ready Conrart?" he asked.
Conrart looked at him like he'd lost his mind before replying, "But I'm submissive, and I'm in Heat. Submissive are made to be fucked Yozak."
"Only when you want it, Conrart, and not a moment before," Yozak stated firmly. "Honestly, where did you get such an idea?"
Conrart looked at him with a mixture of shock and disbelief. "Olaf took every Rutting man in the platoon, until I put my foot down." He said after a minute.
"Olaf, was taking at least 3 guys a night before he went into heat Conny." He paused and then added, "Hell I've known the man for years, and to be frank he slept his way through military school."
Conrart bit his lip, "You're honestly not going to make me?"
Yozak sighed, "No I'm not. I will never force you to do anything you are not ready for."
"Can I put some clothing on then?" Conrart asked after a second; doing so as soon as Yozak answered in the affirmative.
Yozak sighed; glad that they'd straightened that up, at least he knew where Conrart's misconceptions came from. Olaf had been loose long before the war, and tended to take as many men as he could while he was in heat. However he did wish Conrart hadn't witnessed it. The war had been hard and just about every man in the army had gone into Rutt particularly those that had seen combat.
The raw aggression of war surging through their veins had meant that their seasons frequently lasted a year or more. Olaf had been the sole submissive in their platoon and he had happily taken almost every man at least once. He'd also made himself into the 'prize' the other men could win, as he tended to service the highly dominant males and those who performed better in combat with far more frequency.
Now that he thought about it, Conrart had stayed the hell away from the man. At the time he and everyone else had just put it down to the fact that their captain had only just reached the age where his first season should be imminent.
No wonder Conrart was confused; if that was the first time Conrart had seen a Submissive in the throes of Heat … he didn't want to think about the impression that would have made.
Abruptly he realized he'd been very overprotective of the other man during the war, starting about 6 months into their year and a half on the front lines. That was also when he'd started insisting Conrart share his bedroll. "Conrart," he asked after a second, "were you in Heat during the war?"
Conrart squeaked.
"I'll take that as a yes," Yozak said gently as he continued to run the brush through his friend's hair.
"It was so hard to hide it, I was scared," Conrart admitted quietly. "I didn't want to be used like Olaf was."
The snarl that tore its way out of him was positively feral. The very idea of Conrart with his pants down, straddling someone else's lap while they pounded into his body in a Rutt induced frenzy was sufficient to make him mad enough to kill.
Conrart deserved far better than that.
He deserved someone who would love and cherish him.
He took a deep breath and got himself mostly under control. "They would have died by my hand before they ever came close." He assured Conrart gently but firmly, the undertone of a feral growl still present in his voice.
"Then I'm even more thankful none of them ever tried. We were under manned as it was, we didn't need to start killing off our own." Conrart replied softly.
Yozak couldn't help it, he snorted.
"Gwendal gave the executive order to have everyone in Heat pulled out of combat. Why didn't you leave with Olaf and our wounded?"
"How could I?" Conrart asked after a moment's hesitation. "Following that order meant I not only had to admit I was in Heat, but allow someone else to take over our unit and we both know I was the only officer who'd have given a damn if none of us came home."
Yozak sighed, "I guess you're right," He said after a second's thought, gently working a piece of feather and clear crystal bead hair jewelry out of Conrart's tangled tresses. "I understand why you did it, but I still would have been happier with you safely off the field. You were too young to be there in the first place."
Conrart accepted the hair piece once Yozak had finished working it free, and gazed down at it for a moment. "Neither were you." He replied softly.
"I was closer to it then you, you've only been old enough since your last season, and I've been old enough for the last two." Yozak replied with mock arrogance.
"Very funny," Conrart retorted with better humor then he'd displayed in the past two weeks.
Yozak smiled, there were a lot of questions he now had to ask Conrart, all of them personal and all of them designed to expose his sexual history. Some of them he wouldn't insult his friend by asking. He'd been taught the questions long ago when he'd first been sent to military school and despite having slept with a submissive in heat before; he'd never bothered to use them.
But this was different, this was Conrart. This was the man he was planning to make his mate. As such the questions had become necessary. He was just a little leery of actually asking them. He didn't know how Conrart would react, hell he didn't even know if submissives were taught the questions they would one day be asked. However he was the only person who knew Conrart even went through heat, so the other man must have learned them himself at some point. He took a deep breath and continued gently working the tangles from his friend's hair. "Hey Conrart," he asked after a second. "You ever have sex with a woman?"
Conrart snapped out of his sleepy daze and turned his head. "No. Why?"
That settled his silent debate then, Conrart was, shaych. "Have you sired any children?"
"I just told you I've never had sex with a woman, how could I have gotten one pregnant?" Conrart retorted.
"Well what about a man?" Yozak replied mildly, "Have you ever taken another man?"
"No," Conrart squeaked.
Yozak took a breath before asking his next question, he was fairly certain he already knew the answer, and he didn't want to insult his friend. "Have you ever had another man's seed inside of you?"
"No!" Conrart replied sharply.
"What about another man's penis?" Yozak enquired, "Have you ever allowed another man to take you?"
"No!" Conrart shrieked. "Why are you asking me this?"
Yozak sighed, the questions were designed to be long and drawn out. Designed to make the submissive uncomfortable and trap them in any lie so that their partner, would be able to get a thorough picture of their sexual history. That was also why he wasn't allowed to answer Conrart's questions right at the moment. He sighed and gently squeezed his friend's shoulder. "I'll explain as soon as we're done." He replied gently.
Technically he was supposed to ask Conrart if he'd ever been pregnant at this point, but he saw no reason to ask that stupid of a question. Firstly the chances of the other half-breed even being able to conceive were all but non-existent. Secondly Conrart would not have hidden it from him if he ever had been and thirdly this would be Conrart's first true heat, and thus the first time he could get pregnant - although it wasn't exactly considered safe for Conrart to conceive at this point.
"Have you ever touched a woman sexually?" Yozak enquired.
Conrart hesitated, "Yes," he answered after a second.
Well there went the shaych theory.
"Once," Conrart continued, "it was…unpleasant."
Then again maybe not
"Have you ever orally stimulated someone?" he asked after a second.
"No!" Conrart yelped his cheeks heating.
"Have you ever been touched sexually?" Yozak asked gently. "Other than by me, that is?"
Conrart gapped at him, sputtering inarticulately before nodding his head and saying "yes" in a very small voice.
Yozak set down the hair brush and began to braid his friend's now detangled hair. "By a man or a woman?" he enquired softly, trying not to growl at the thought of anyone else running their hands across Conrart's beautiful skin.
"Man," Conrart's reply was cautious as if he was scared to reply.
Yozak blinked, that wasn't the answer he would have expected, Conrart had been too young for that sort of thing when he'd dated Gwilherm. At this point he was supposed to ask his friend how many other partners he'd had and when and how long his last relationship had been, but he didn't see the point and Conrart was getting more and more antsy. So he simply summed those questions up into one. "Have you had any boyfriends or lovers between Gwilherm and me?"
"No" Conrart replied in a firm voice.
Yozak would have asked more but Elizabeth had returned.
"Yozak, why don't you make some tea for Conrart and yourself, while I tie up some loose ends with my patient?" Elizabeth said in a tone that made it clear she wasn't asking.
He smiled at his fiancé, and quickly finished braiding his hair, binding it back with a thin strip of white leather. He leaned in and kissed Conrart's neck gently. Then he stood up and left the room.
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Yozak made his way back into the bedroom carrying a tray with a bowl full of the stew the cooks always made daily in case any Herald or trainee fell ill. He'd honestly been a bit amused by the sight of the stew, Conrart wasn't exactly ill, but he'd told the page to ask the cook to provide something for someone who hadn't eaten much of anything in the past few days. Apparently the cook felt Conrart would be better off with stew then with the fish they were having for dinner that night.
Pity, Conrart loved fish – it reminded him of his father, since the man had often fished to feed them on their travels together.
Conrart was sitting up in bed propped up by pillows, and covered in blankets like an invalid. Elizabeth paused on her way out to gaze briefly at him before she asking; "Yozak, why don't you let me take care of the bruise on your cheek?"
Yozak blinked, he had a bruise on his cheek? He realized what she was talking about when she reached for his left cheek. He stepped back out of her reach. "That won't be necessary thank you." He said briskly, "Conrart went through the trouble of proposing, the least I can do is bare his mark."
Elizabeth gave him a startled look, "This a demon thing isn't it?" she enquired rhetorically before turning to leave the room with a shake of her head adding "I'll be by to check on you tomorrow morning Conrart," as she left.
Yozak smiled and set the tray down across Conrart's lap, carefully liberating his own mug of tea from the tray and setting it on the nightstand. His best friend, he noticed was staring at his meal in silence, "eat," he said gently "or do you need me to feed you?"
Conrart didn't acknowledge the jab; in fact he just continued to gaze vacantly down at his food. Yozak picked up the spoon, and dipped it into the stew. Conrart would snap out of it as soon as the spoon hit his lips.
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Conrart felt funny, he couldn't really place the odd feelings bubbling up inside of him. It was distinctly odd, and it pulled him towards Yozak. He was afraid; he didn't quite know what was going on.
Rather abruptly he snapped out of his daze and realized Yozak was feeding him. Embarrassment flooded through him, and he caught Yozak's arm by the wrist before the other man could stick the spoon into his mouth again. "Why are you feeding me?" he asked after a second.
Yozak smiled, "You need to eat and you seemed distracted." He said as he easily freed his wrist from Conrart's grasp. "You have not eaten in a few days, and your health and happiness are now my responsibility."
"Why?" Conrart enquired "What makes it your responsibility?"
"We're engaged," Yozak replied as if that answered everything and casually stuffed the spoon into his mouth.
"Yozak," Conrart whined as soon as he'd swallowed the spoonful of stew.
Yozak leaned in and gently kissed him on the forehead, "It's mostly gone now anyway," he said gently. "So why don't you let me have the pleasure of caring for you. I know you can eat on your own but let me take care of you just this once."
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"Here," Yozak smiled softly as he handed Conrart his mug of tea and sipped quietly at his own. "Drink, it will help with the symptoms of your heat." He was pleased to note that Conrart's eyes were rapidly returning to their original color now that he'd eaten. Rather abruptly he realized he'd completely forgotten to ask Elizabeth about that.
"There's a tea for Submissives?" Conrart asked after a second.
Yozak gapped at him for a moment utterly flabbergasted. "You didn't know there was a tea to help with the symptoms of your heat?"
Conrart shook his head and took a sip of his tea, Yozak cleared his throat he still had a few more questions that he should have asked, but he already knew the answer to most of them so he was not going to bother asking them. However there was one question that he absolutely had to ask. Technically he was supposed to ask it three different ways, but he didn't think there was any reason to attempt to ascertain whether or not Conrart was lying. Still, he felt awkward asking it.
"Conrart," he asked after taking a moment to figure out how to phrase his question. "Have you ever been raped?"
Conrart sputtered, and then proceeded to gape at him. "No!" he snapped, "Why would you ask such a thing?"
"Thought as much," Yozak replied mildly.
To his amusement, Conrart simply finished off his tea and, for lack of a better term, coiled himself up against him. Yozak smiled and carefully disentangled himself from Conrart. The other man made a soft chirp of protest. Yozak smiled down at him and gently said, "I'm just going to get you some more tea, I'll be right back."
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Yozak gazed down at Conrart as the smaller man slept curled up on his side. Less than an hour had passed since Conrart had been given what was apparently his first cup of seasonal tea ever - a fact that alarmed Yozak to no end. At least now the smaller man was getting some much needed sleep and appeared contented if nothing else. He smiled to himself as Conrart shifted slightly attempting to burrow into his chest and Yozak wondered how he'd missed the fact that his best friend was in Heat, both now and back during the war.
When Olaf had gone into Heat every man in their platoon had been aware of it before the end of the day. That was hardly surprising, however, given the man's nature.
Dominant demons established a pecking order when in Rutt and Agidius had been the unchallenged 'alpha' male in their platoon when Olaf went into Heat. Yozak remembered that morning well, Olaf had simply walked up to Agidius and straddled his lap before announcing the fact that he was in Heat to the entire platoon. Before breakfast was even over Agidius had spilled his seed inside of the perfectly willing submissive, twice.
Every Rutting male – himself included – had taken him more than once by the time Conrart had put his foot down a few months later, after Agidius had tried to get Olaf to ride him while they mustered out. The man had been wholly incapable of being quiet, and as Conrart had put it: "Riding out with the men trying to see who could make the submissive scream the loudest" had been a bad idea. Conrart had mandated that Olaf was to have at least 4 hours of uninterrupted rest, and no one was allowed to "take him" while they were riding, on watch or anywhere near food, since Conrart was tired of "wondering what was in the oatmeal".
Much to Olaf's dismay Conrart had enforced that by moving the other man into the command tent. Which despite being meant to hold only Conrart and a small writing table that was used for maps and reports, had also housed Henry – the one medic in their platoon – Yozak and Lieutenant Brent. Conrart had used the table as firewood their first night out when they'd discovered how very short they were on tents and other supplies. Conrart had also gotten rid of anything nonessential so that they could cram five or six men into the tiny four man tents rather than have people sleeping outside. They'd only just had enough bedrolls for the men and everyone's bedding (Conrart's included) was more patching then fabric.
Agidius had been less than thrilled with Conrart's decision and had accused Conrart of not understanding the needs of his men because he hadn't come into season yet.
Yozak shook his head to clear his thoughts and glanced down at Conrart as the man … well …snuggled deeper into his chest. Abruptly he realized, Agidius had taken a step forward when he'd made that accusation, and then taken another step forward and growled "or have you gone into season and hidden it from us, after all one submissive isn't enough for the pleasure of the entire platoon?"
Ironically that was how Yozak himself had made the climb from about midrange on the dominance scale to the very top. He hadn't been interested in climbing the ladder of dominance at that age; he'd been too young and hadn't started his true seasons yet. As such while he'd been aggressive the driving need to mate hadn't been there and he'd seen no reason to further damage his hide. Oh he'd fought and wiped the floor with any Rutting male foolish enough to challenge him but he hadn't actually gone looking for a fight.
But something had snapped inside of him when he saw Agidius backing Conrart up against the tree he'd been standing in front of. He hadn't thought he'd simply let out a roar of rage and flung himself at the other man. They'd hit the floor a rolling, snarling, tangle of enraged muscle and testosterone. The perceived threat filling him with a blinding rage and something akin to hatred to the point that he was fairly certain he would have killed the other man if Conrart hadn't pulled him off.
He remembered snarling briefly at Conrart before something made him back down and give way to the pleading look in his best friend's eyes. However he had informed Agidius that he would kill him if he threatened their prince again.
He'd been shocked when only Conrart and Olaf had met his gaze and Olaf only briefly. Rutting males only made eye contact with their partners, or as a way to intimidate other less dominant demons.
Things had been awkward in their tent after that.
A fortnight later he'd woken up to the soft sound of Conrart waking from a nightmare; rolling over, he snagged the edge of his friend's bedroll and pulled him close wrapping the smaller boy in his arms. It was rare for Conrart to show weakness in front of their men, and Yozak had known he would never cry with the chance of them witnessing it. Conrart had rolled over and gazed up at him, whispering "I'm scared," before tucking himself against Yozak's chest and beginning to cry silently. Yozak had simply cradled Conrart closer and let him cry while he carded his hand soothingly through Conrart's short cropped hair, gently messaging the base of Conrart's skull before lowering his head and resting his nose in Conrart's hair. Conrart had been making soft mewing noises into his chest as the smaller boy fell asleep. The last thing Yozak had heard before drifting off to sleep – had been Olaf hissing.
Things had gotten extremely tense in their tent after that.
The next morning he'd suddenly lost all interest in Olaf. He then spent the better part of an hour fussing over the heap of rags that he'd made into a sort of … nest for him and Conrart to share – bodily removing Olaf from it at one point.
It had taken him a full fifteen minutes to convince Conrart to share his bed the way they had at home before the war; reminding his friend that he was no good to their platoon if he fell over from exhaustion. He'd also reminded Conrart that he was still growing and that the cold air was bad for his health, none of those arguments had been effective, and in the end he'd resorted to gently reminding Conrart that they would both perform better if they slept warm and that slim advantage could mean the difference between life and death for them both.
That had worked and Conrart had crawled willingly into the bed he had prepared for them. He'd cradled Conrart in his arms that night and every night after until the battle of Luttenburg had nearly killed them both.
Olaf had not been happy about it.
At the time he hadn't thought about the implications, he'd been ignoring a perfectly willing Submissive for more than two weeks, and had thrown him out of their tent on several occasions.
How had he not known Conrart was in Heat?
How had he not realized it when all of the signs pointed to it? Had he known on a subconscious level? Is that why he'd thrown Olaf out? Is that why he'd taken on Agidius when the man had threatened Conrart? Had he been protecting the best friend he already saw as his mate?
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Conrart moaned as he climbed slowly up out of the arms of sleep. It only took him a minute to realize he was literally wrapped in Yozak's arms. He blinked, the last thing he remembered was Yozak giving him some tea. He curled up on himself trying not to start shaking as the situation dragged up memories he would have happily forgotten.
"You drugged me." He said softly, trying desperately to avoid crying.
Yozak looked down at him, shock registering in his blue eyes and Conrart braced himself for the reaction he would have gotten had he ever been brave enough to call Gwilherm on his abuse. "No I didn't." Yozak replied his tone firm but gentle. "Why would you say such a thing?"
"Why else would I have passed out? You gave me tea and I passed out," he couldn't help it, he began to cry. "Just like Gwilherm," he mumbled between sobs. "Drugged me and touched me; Oh Great One, not again!"
Yozak loosened his grip a bit, "Gwilherm Drugged You?" He growled menacingly.
Conrart squeaked and cowered away, terrified of what was to come, but Yozak made no move against him, in fact he purred softly calming him despite the rage he could feel rolling down their lifebond. "Y-Yes" he managed after a second.
"And he touched you when you were drugged?" Yozak enquired gently, despite his almost feral growling.
Conrart huddled in on himself not wanting to be touched, and not trusting that anyone would follow his wishes on the matter. Closing his eyes in a desperate and foolish bid to block the memories of that horrid experience, he nodded. To his shame – he realized he was starting to hyperventilate. Rather abruptly he realized Yozak was projecting calm at him, along with a feeling of love and compassion. "I will never drug you." He said gently but firmly. "I sure as hell will never molest you. Tell me if you want me to stop doing something and I will stop. I swear that on my mother's grave."
Conrart curled up against Yozak's chest, "why did I pass out then?" he asked softly.
Yozak carded a hand soothingly through his hair, "I swear all I gave you was medication to help with your Heat, you passed out because you've had no more than four hours of sleep in as many days and are still exhausted."
Conrart felt himself relax back into Yozak's embrace. "Sorry," he whispered into the other man's strong chest.
Yozak's only reply was to gently rub his back.
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Yozak gazed down at Conrart who was curled up in his arms; the man was awake and resting quietly. He was honestly a little alarmed by how quickly the fact that Conrart was a Submissive had altered things. He'd caught himself mentally referring to Conrart as "his little Submissive" a time or two. He wanted nothing more than to protect Conrart from every possible threat.
"Conrart?" he said gently after a few minutes of consideration, "Do you know what testing is?"
"Of course," Conrart replied softly into his chest. "Why do you ask?"
"Who taught you?" he enquired, "I'd like to make sure the same idiot who taught you about a Submissive being "made to be fucked" didn't teach you about the testing as well."
Conrart blinked, "Gwilherm taught me the former when he was still my guard, hahaue delegated the task of teaching me about sex, and well the birds and the bearbees to Uncle Stoffel, since chichiue should have been the one to do it and ossan delegated most of it to Gwilherm since the man was my Healer as well as my guard." Conrart replied softly.
Yozak couldn't help growling at Stoffel's stupidity, having Conrart's boyfriend – at the time – teaching him about sex was a decidedly stupid idea, and he refrained from snorting at Conrart's somewhat rude honorific for his uncle. Frankly Yozak thought Conrart was lucky Gwilherm hadn't decided to teach him through … hands on experience. Although if his drugging Conrart was any indication – the man had only been intending to wait long enough that Lady Cecilia would not have executed him if she'd found out. "Apparently Stoffel is even more of an idiot then I'd thought."
"Günter explained the tests to me though when he found out I didn't know much about them." Conrart told him softly.
Yozak leaned down and kissed the top of Conrart's head, "At least that's one thing I don't have to worry about."
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According to the translation found on Google:
Hahaue - an old Japanese word for mother
Chichiue - an old Japanese word for father
Ossan – a rude way to say uncle
Ojisan- proper way to say uncle
A.N.
Sorry everyone for taking forever to update. We blame school as per usual. If anyone is still out there waiting for our update, hope you enjoyed the long chapter.