Chapter 48: Testing...again?

Conrart stood at the front of the classroom. He had to admit it was odd, he'd never taught in this capacity before. Sure he'd taught the students weaponry and self-defense, just as he'd taught his recruits back in Shin Makoku, but this was new. This class was purely academic; sure he'd taught Yozak how to read and write, but that didn't count. In addition to that his status had changed. Here he was a respected Herald giving a class on his own culture and customs; not the despised and worthless half-breed son of the 26th Maou. He actually mattered here. His impure blood was meaningless in Valdemar he was just another Herald.

He didn't know if he would ever get used to the feeling of having value for more than just his military skill. It was true his mother, elder brother, Murata, Yuri and of course Yozak had always made him feel like he was worth something – but they were truly the only ones. Even his beloved little brother, Wolfram had treated him like he was filthy after becoming aware of his tainted blood. But things were different now no one treated him as if he was something they might scrape off of their boots. It was a great feeling, but there were times when he wondered how long it would last. Even now – over four years after Vanyel had first pranced merrily into his life and proceeded to turn it upside down – he was still expecting to wake up and find that it had all been a wonderful dream.

Vanyel's mental snort brought him out of his musing. : I guess that's better than being a hallucination brought on by the goo that healer made you drink.:

: I guess I'll just have to ask Gisela for more of that 'goo', if you don't mind. You are a hallucination I'd rather like to keep.: he retorted mildly.

Conrart glanced over at Yozak who was happily lounging in one of the desks he'd pulled off to the side. Why are you here exactly? He enquired with just a slight raise of his scarred right eyebrow.

The look Yozak gave him in return was mischievous. He cocked his head slightly revealing his bruised cheek to the as of yet empty classroom, and put his feet up on the desk assuming a casual and downright lazy air. Conrart snorted, reading the unspoken message quite clearly. Every line of Yozak's body from the way he tilted his chin to the soft set of his shoulders announced the fact that he was quite contentedly showing off their new found relationship, like an Earth woman showing off an engagement ring.

Conrart rolled his eyes at his friend's antics as the first of his students began trickling in. Prince Kris and his twin sister Lyra – who were two of seven students' in his class that were already in Whites - blinked at the sight of Yozak's bruised cheek. "Yozak, who slapped you?" Lyra demanded with a hint of mild indignation that anyone would dare to strike a Herald here, of all places.

"Oh, I'm sure he deserved it," Conrart replied off handedly, sharing a laden look with Yozak.

Yozak waggled his eyebrows in response. "I should think I do" he retorted, "I should hate to think you would slap just anyone, naishinnou*."

Conrart threw a piece of chalk at the other man, to the amusement of his students. "I am not a girl." He said in a playfully affronted tone of voice.

Yozak shot him a look that quite clearly said could have fooled me.

Conrart rolled his eyes at his best friend and started his lesson on the courtship rituals and general rules of conduct for both the nobility and the everyday citizens, including things like expectations of chastity and who was expected to have a chaperone.

He'd expected the chapter – with its embarrassing topics of study and inevitable menagerie of humiliating questions, that in turn had complex and honestly somewhat confusing answers – to take the better part of two lessons to adequately accomplish, but to his amazement they still had 10 minutes left after the last questions had been answered.

"Since we have time left you might as well get started reading the next chapter." He flipped to the page in his own book, and blushed when he realized it was the chapter on marriage proposals and ceremonies. : I'll know they're done when the giggling starts.: he told Van bleakly.

At first the classroom was silent as the few Heralds and students in the uniforms of all the four collegia read through the chapter, than the first of the white clad student's (ironically Austin) glanced up at Yozak and raised an eyebrow. Soon after a low murmur broke out as the younger students finished reading.

"Um, Yozak?" Austin sounded uncomfortable. "I thought you implied that Conrart gave you that … hand shaped, bruise?"

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Yozak ran a hand through his hair, he was teaching his basic Mazoku language class but his mind was far away from his lessons. In fact it was currently dreaming up provocative images of his best friend, which was interesting because the last time his mind had been this full of images of Conrart in the nude, was before the war.

Truthfully Conrart's lesson had driven home the fact that Conrart was still a virgin. With his rank and the fact that he liked men – he could be nothing else. It was odd, he'd never had sex with a virgin before; he actually went out of his way not to. Honestly the very idea of being with a virgin had turned him away because of the inevitable emotional attachment and the fact that he didn't want to be responsible for their first impressions of the act.

The fact that Conrart was a virgin however … turned him on to no end.

True, Conrart wasn't entirely untouched but that didn't matter, the man had so little experience he might as well not have any. It meant that Conrart wouldn't have anything to compare it with. It also meant he was going to be teaching his love about sex.

He had to admit the idea gave him a bit of a power trip, though he had every intention of ensuring Conrart's needs and wants were seen to before his own.

A question he'd only half heard brought him out of his thoughts and he flushed when he asked his student to repeat it, silently reminding himself to keep his mind in the present.

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Conrart would have been lying if he said he wasn't afraid. He glanced at Yozak who was sitting beside him on the bed. He swallowed – he really did not want to be doing this. "You're only going to do the first Test right?" he enquired timidly.

Yozak leaned in and kissed him gently on the lips. "I promise we are not going any further then the first stage of the Testing calls for. I'll find out about how far I can go before you lose control in Heat, and then we'll stop and you can have some tea." That said he gently lowered Conrart down onto his back.

Conrart swallowed his fears and gazed into his best friend's eyes – he trusted Yozak and always had, he saw no reason to be mistrustful now – but he was still scared.

Yozak sat on his knees and leaned over him, "tell me to stop until you can't anymore." He said and began to gently run his hands over Conrart's cloth covered chest.

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Yozak watched quietly as Conrart pulled on his boots, grabbed the mug of tea he'd made for him earlier and left his quarters in search of Vanyel. Yozak didn't blame the other man for seeking the safety and comfort of his Companion when he'd just deliberately pushed the smaller man rather firmly out of his comfort zone with an ancient but still very necessary mating ritual.

As far as the Testing went he was honestly a little alarmed, it hadn't taken much for Conrart to lose control. Conrart had been fine when he'd touched him gently through his clothing and when he'd gently slid his hands between the smaller man's shirt and tunic. His breathing had only hitched slightly when he'd slid his hands under Conrart's shirt and caressed his bare skin. However when he'd slid his hands into the other man's pants gently caressing him through his small clothes –

Conrart had lost it, bucking into his touch and moaning wantonly. He'd spent a full minute and a half after they'd ended the test softly whimpering at the loss of contact. Then he'd simply lain there panting, and Yozak could feel the fear rolling off of him in waves. Yozak had gently rubbed his back until Conrart had calmed and his breathing began to even out.

Yozak didn't say anything to his future husband and best friend before the man left the room, but he was deeply worried and beyond thankful that they were in Valdemar and not home in Shin Makoku. Conrart would have been in a lot of trouble if they'd been home. This was Conrart's first True Heat, and the symptoms of his heat would only get worse with each passing decade.

Under their law out right rape wasn't allowed, in season or not, but there was no law preventing a Dominant from using their season to convince a reluctant Submissive to have sex. Because of this sex between a Rutting Dominant and a Submissive in Heat was always considered to be consensual – unless there were witnesses.

Too many people still thought of Conrart as a half-breed who needed to be taught his place.

Too many of those would jump at the chance to teach him a lesson.

But then again this made absolutely no sense.

Conrart couldn't be this submissive during his very first True Season; if he truly was, then he wouldn't have been able to hide it these last few decades. Particularly not during the war when he'd been literally surrounded by Rutting males, several of whom were fairly Dominant. Fights had broken out over Olaf on several occasions. Yet not one of the men had ever made a move on their commanding officer.

Actually now that he thought about it there had been one fight over Conrart.

The fight that had won him the position of most dominant male in their platoon, a position he held for the remainder of the war. He'd thrown himself at Agidius to protect Conrart.

Did the rest of their platoon know?

Was he the only one who hadn't seen it?

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Conrart paced back and forth in the shady glen by a bend in the Terilee; Vanyel had shown it to him shortly after his choosing, after the stallion realized that the sound of freely running water helped him to calm down. The normally calm waters churned with his turbulent emotions and he fought to control both his Heraldic gifts and his elemental powers. He remembered how Wolfram had accidently set things alight when he got emotional, before he'd learned to fully control his elemental powers. Not that that had stopped things from being set alight but at least now it was all intentional. He was worried that in his terror he would accidently flood the field… again.

He flung himself down on the bank and curled up in a ball, sobbing brokenly at his own weakness. What must Yozak think of him after that? He rocked himself slowly back and forth, not sure if he should tell Yozak the truth. Yozak likely thought this was his first True Heat. It was a logical conclusion given his age, Mazoku tended to go into season for the first time between the age of 100 and 110; it was supposed to happen after the passing of a child's first century. Yozak for example had been 102 when he'd gone into Rutt for the first time.

Gwilherm's voice sneered 'only a whore goes into Heat at 85' into his mind and he shook his head. No he couldn't tell Yozak that this was actually his sixth Heat. The other man was more than capable of doing the math and figuring out just how old he'd been when he'd gone into heat for the first time. He didn't want to explain to Yozak about how he'd "acted the part of a whore, and seduced Gwilherm and the rest of his guards", the very night he became legal.

He was shaking uncontrollably; he never wanted to feel that kind of pain again

Ever

He didn't know how Yozak would react.

He knew how a nobleman would react – he knew the hell his life would become if he allowed himself to become some noble lord-ling's wife, when his virginity wasn't intact… but he had no idea how it would affect his relationship with Yozak. Would Yozak hurt him like a noble would? He didn't think so… but he was terrified of the possibility. A noble man would use his lose nature to their advantage since his lack of virginity essentially stripped him of the right to tell his husband no. He didn't think Yozak would ever take the right that essentially let Yozak take him whenever, wherever, and however he fancied.

He'd never thought a member of his own guard would hurt him either.

He was filthy, he didn't deserve anything better - but still he honestly hoped that his relationship with Yozak bore more in common with his dreams and that one night by the lake years ago.

Why did things have to change between them?

He wanted to feel safe

In the past, he would currently be buried in the safety of his best friend's arms – but Yozak was no longer 'safe'. He couldn't be the safe haven Conrart needed.

How could he, when the one thing Conrart had ever been truly and irreparably terrified of dangled between the other man's legs and grew hard against his backside at night?

In some ways it was truly ridiculous, he was a man – and yet he was so completely terrified of the agony that one organ could cause … well he never even touched his own, unless it was to use the privy or see to hygiene. How could he be expected to touch Yozak's; to let Yozak touch him there? Or worse … to let Yozak put his p- … that inside of him?

The very idea terrified him to no end.

Yet he knew that Yozak had wanted to put it inside of him since the other man's first Rutt, but had never forced anything on him.

He whimpered as his traitorous mind called up images and the remembered agony of Gwilherm's thick fingers thrusting in and out of his body.

His stomach rolled, and he wretched but didn't vomit.

He wondered, would Yozak be gentle with him if he'd known he'd already lain with another?

He wanted to believe he would, but if there was one lesson Gwilherm and Stoffel had taken pains to drill into his head, it was what happened to nobles who comported themselves like common whores.

He couldn't risk Yozak knowing.

He recoiled almost violently when something soft touched his shoulder. To his great embarrassment he screamed in alarm and scrambled far enough away that his hands sank wrist deep into cold river water before he recognized Vanyel.

: Easy Chosen,: Vanyel said gently into his mind. : You have nothing to fear from me.:

Conrart rose to his feet and ran to his Companion, before burying his face in the stallion's silky mane. "I know that. I – I'm just -"

: You're scared Chosen, I understand that. : Vanyel's tone was oddly gentle, almost as if he thought Conrart might break.

Truthfully he was afraid he might break, so he couldn't blame the Companion for thinking it too.

Vanyel nuzzled him gently and Conrart felt his knees buckling, the stallion went with him to the ground curling up around him like a mare with a foal as he cried himself senseless. Feeling safe for the first time since Yozak had begun that damned test.

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Yozak opened his eyes as Conrart slipped into bed with him. He smiled and wrapped his arms gently around his smaller friend. Conrart stiffened slightly, having obviously been under the impression that he'd been asleep. Truthfully he had been, but the familiar feeling of Conrart climbing into bed with him coupled with the other man's trepidation at the act had awoken him. He shifted and settled Conrart so that the smaller man's back rested against his chest.

"I swear to Shinou that you have nothing to fear from me." He said softly. "I will not take advantage of the fact that you are in Heat; when you are ready, not before."

Conrart relaxed slightly. "Yozak?" he replied softly. "Could you swear that on Jissa?"

Yozak blinked, honestly a little surprised by the request. "I swear on my Companion, I will not take advantage of you." He smiled when Conrart relaxed completely against his chest and he felt the last of his best friend's fear dissipate.

: If he tried it, he'd answer to me.: Jissa informed them both frankly.

: The line starts after me.: Yozak blinked at Vanyel's voice in his head. : I'd kick him so hard, he'd witness his father's grandsir's birth.:

Yozak chuckled, "and then Jissa would likely repute me." He told the smaller man in his arms with just a hint of humor. "So you see it's in my best interests to not do something stupid."

Conrart snuggled up against him, "Thank you." He whispered softly.

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Yozak shifted slightly as he watched Conrart sleep. There was a time not so long ago when his swearing on the name of their god would have startled Conrart; however it would have been all the reassurance he needed. The fact that the smaller man had asked him to swear on his Companion spoke volumes about how much their lives had changed.

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Yozak had never been so thankful to see the last of his Rutt; just two more days to go. Dealing with Conrart while he was Rutting was an enormous pain in the rump. It wasn't that Conrart was difficult – on the contrary he was meek as a milk maid, and all he really wanted was to cuddle. The problem was that he kept finding himself in compromising positions with the other man. He was fairly certain that they were not Conrart's fault either. It was odd a few weeks ago, before he'd found out Conrart was a Submissive he would have thought nothing of waking up with Conrart tucked underneath his body. The few times he'd done that before he'd just thought he'd rolled over onto Conrart in his sleep, and Conrart tended to sleep under a ton of blankets, so he'd always thought he liked the added weight. Now though, he honestly didn't know what he thought of it.

He pulled his mind off of Conrart and back to the class he was currently teaching. Hopefully his being out of season would help to calm the other man down. Conrart seemed to be having a hard time dealing with the actual drive to mate which came along with finally being truly in season. He found himself constantly pulling back desperately trying not to not to accidently take advantage of his friend, honestly if he didn't know better he'd say Conrart was pair-bound and trying to conceive. He was that needy, that clingy.

He snorted in mild amusement, given the fact that the how-tos of pair-bonding weren't given until a couple was ready to try for children, he'd be more inclined to believe that he and Conrart were already mates, then accidently pair-bound.

…And that was about as likely as a purple polka-dotted Companion.

Incidentally the term 'mates' was one of the terms in today's language lesson, and one his students wanted him to explain. He stood there for a moment trying to figure out how to explain a concept that he'd been aware of and understood for almost as long as he remembered. All Mazoku children over the age of five knew what Mating was – even if they didn't exactly understand it. Just like every human child knew what a marriage was. Human children played games that innocently mimicked adult life and roles, and so did Mazoku children – they played at being married or mated, and having a family.

He and Conrart had once rather innocently played at being mated, and expecting, Conrart's Lady Mother had found their game 'cute', but Stoffel had caught them at their game later that day and well… Stoffel always was an idiot. He'd taken a switch to them both and then dragged Conrart off for a bit of 'male bonding' as it had been Conrart's 81st birthday, he didn't know what Conrart's uncle had said – and Conrart hadn't told him, but the other boy had been greatly subdued for a few weeks afterward. Conrart's timid behavior had been directly responsible for the incident that had gotten Yozak sent away to military school.

It had been worth it to see Conrart's eyes light up with mischief, and to see the smile Conrart had already been learning to hide poking out from under his mask like expression. As was the fact that Stoffel's hair had been an interesting shade of bright blue for the next week – thanks to the mixture of a cheap blue dye, cheap raspberry whine, the crushed seeds of two pomegranates**, and the fine powder that came from grinding up a small piece of broken crockery.

They'd put the concoction (that had stained both of their hands) into a couple of old water-bladders, climbed a tree, and dropped them on top of the annoyingly pompous man.

He smirked at the memory and turned his attention back to his class. "Being mated is like being Lifebond, and love-matched. Within our culture a couple that is Mated is given the same status as a married couple – even if vows have not been spoken. Although, unlike a lifebond it is not something that has to be realized, a Mate-bond forms through mutual work over the course of several decades."

One of his students asked him another question, but he wasn't listening – something was wrong.

Adrenalin surged through his body preparing him for a fight. He fought to stay coherent as his vision filmed over in red. It took him a moment to realize that the deep, dangerous rumbling growl was coming from his own throat.

:Chosen,: Jissa's voice in his mind was sharp and thickly laced with worry.

He hardly heard her, or the alarmed voices of his class of mixed gray, white and two scarlet clad students as he bolted from the room, and down the hall so fast he skidded, and pushed off the wall with both hands to keep himself upright.

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A.N. Dun dun dunnnnnnnnnnnn. R&R please.

*Naishinnou – imperial or royal princess

**We are assuming both raspberries and pomegranates are shades of blue in Shin Makoku seeing as both apples and carrots are purple.