Monster

by LVAv8or

Arizona Robbins is a loving mother and wife. Her co-workers think she is perky and bubbly, while the parents of her patients call her a savior, but what if it was just an act? Everyone has secrets and for Arizona she has one big dark secret that would leave everyone she knew stunned. Will that secret stay hidden or will the arrival of a new surgeon bring it to light?

39. Chapter 39

Chapter Four

Fun fact, since it's been awhile from my last one. Mark and Lexie's wedding was a nice small get together with some of their close friends at the hospital. In total after the invites were sent out and everyone made their reservations with their plus ones and their children, there is a total of 63 people here at the Palace Ballroom for the wedding of Marcus Everett Sloan and Alexandra Caroline Grey. Out of the 63 people, 45 people or roughly 75% of the guests here are in the medical profession at Seattle Grace Mercy West Hospital. They range from first year surgical interns to the department heads of every surgical program that Seattle Grace Mercy West has to offer. There are 10 children and a combination of 8 people who have nothing to with medicine. The occupations of the other 8 adults include teachers, lawyers, investment bankers, accountants, and a one software engineer.

Those eight people are the ones I would expect to be crying and throwing up all over the place, because they don't see the stuff that the doctors in the building do. Every one of those 45 people, myself included, can tell you some disgusting grotesque story about a patient that they once had. They could go into extreme detail describing what they did to save that person and not even bat an eye or pause during the story because they think they are going to get sick. After all we are doctors, we see, touch and fix the disgusting on the human body. For example, last week Alex, Callie, Mark, Jackson and I worked 14 straight hours on a 16-year-old boy who had a 4 wheeling accident. Being a typical teenager our patient, Vince Vesci, went out to Evens Creek, which is 15 minutes outside of Seattle to go 4 wheeling with his friends in just shorts and a t-shirt. Vince had on absolutely no protective gear when he hit the trails with his friends. According to his friends Vince tried to pull some X-Games stunt called the lazy boy backflip. Two things this young man had never did in his life while 4 wheeling. In the middle of his backflip, Vince started to panic, seeing how he has never done a backflip on a 600-pound machine before, since he was panicking he couldn't correct himself in time and came slamming down to ground with his 600-pound bike right on top of him. If the bike crashing down on him wasn't enough, to make matters worse he also slid about 15 feet along the dirt and gravel trail that they were on, which caused most of his skin on the right side of his body to come off. Vince had massive internal bleeding which Alex and I fixed. He broke both of his arms, several ribs, and both collarbones, as well as, completely shattering his right leg. But my amazing wife was able fix all of that. Lastly, all I can say right now is good thing April didn't marry Matthew because he and Nicole are idiots. They were the paramedics who came to pick up Vince, and to help stop the bleeding they wrapped his whole right side in gauze. Dry gauze on wet and exposed muscle doesn't end well, and it made Mark and Jackson's job a little bit harder because every time they tried to remove the gauze Vince would scream and cry out in pain. Eventually we had to knock him out because the shock could've killed him.

That is pretty distrusting if I say so myself, and I know every doctor here has an equally grotesque story that doesn't bother him or her. So with that being said, why are the doctors acting just like other 8 non-medical people. The other 44 doctors in this hallway and banquet room are crying, dry heaving, and even throwing up over a dead body.

It's just a dead body. I know the other doctors have seen a dead body before, because no one here is perfect. We wish were, we wish could save everyone but we can't, and in some point in our career a patient dies, and we are usually there when it happens. They die, you fill out paperwork and then move on to the next person that needs your help…Life goes on…

An amateur didn't kill Sloan. Nothing about that scene was overly grotesque. Her limbs were cutoff perfectly and evenly from her body. And once the offensive limb was removed, the limb as well as the wound on her body was properly treated so it doesn't get infected. Whoever did this made sure that Sloan was properly taken care off while they killed her. As doctors we've seen a lot worst, and in my world, I've done a lot worst.

So why are there waterworks among the other doctors?

Only handful of people knew about Sloan, and the only thing they knew about her was that she existed. Mark, her father, doesn't even know that much about her, but everyone here is acting like they knew her since birth…right when I think I fully understand the concept of a human emotion, the universe does something to show me that I still have a lot to learn. This is clearly on of those times.

I let out a sigh as I feel my face contort to its memorized spot to portray the right amount of sadness and grief for my dear friend Mark Sloan. It's not a lot because I really didn't know Sloan as well, but its not too little because I did interact with her when she was in Mark's life briefly.

Owen called the police and they are on their way. Meredith, Cristina, Bailey and Derek are in the banquet room watching the rest of the kids, while Callie, Sofia and I sit on the floor in the hallway a little ways down from where the body was found. Sofia is sitting in Callie's lap, while Callie places a motherly death grip around her while rocking back and forth whispering to Sofia that everything will be fine. Mark and Lexie haven't left Sloan's side, and Jackson and Alex have been taking turns make sure the newly wed couple is all right.

A small huff from my left side grabs my attention, and turn over to face Callie and Sofia. Callie is in her own world staring straight ahead at the wall with red puffy eyes because she's been crying. I think it's a mixture of crying over the death of Sloan and crying over the fact that it was our oldest daughter who found the body. Sofia on the other hand is facing me, and she was the one who let out the huff.

It's been a full thirty minutes since we've found Sloan's body, which is plenty of time for Sofia's shock to wear off. I figured she would be crying or asking a lot of questions about the dead body, but she's not. Just like when she came to Callie and I to tell us about the body, she's calm.

Is she supposed to be calm? Should she be freaking out, crying, talking, wanting to play with the other children? I don't know. I've never been around a child who has discovered a dead body, and I never had emotions when I was growing up. I rarely have emotions now. When that awkwardness known as emotions creeps up on my body its usually has something to with my wife, Calliope.

As I continue to look at my daughter, I feel myself slipping out of my sad Arizona character as I watch Sofia contort her face so it matches mine. That can't be good… Like I said before I only have emotions for Calliope, I could care less about Mark and his life. And because I don't care about Mark I'm forced to pretend I like care about the man, only because he's best friends with my wife and best friends with my best friend's wife.

Callie and Mark are Sofia's biological parents. Both of them are visually and mentally upset, I know it and she knows it. And even though she could look up to one of them for an emotional cue, she doesn't. She looks to me, she mimics me. My eyes meet her eyes and we just silently stare at each other.

About a minute into our staring contest is when I see 'IT'. A small dark shadowy figure, just like the one I picked up when I was her age. Her small inexperienced and immature Dark Passenger steps in front of her and bellows at me, the only response she gets from me is my larger more experienced and more mature Dark Passenger coming out to give a larger bellow back. Sofia backs down and scoots back almost sliding off of Callie's lap when she sees that my passenger is a lot bigger and louder than hers.

"Mrs. Robbins," a woman says as she breaks up the mother -daughter monster bonding time. "And you must be Sofia." She says while looking over towards Callie and Sofia.

"I'm Captain Virginia Williams with the United States Air Force Special Investigation Unit." Captain Williams starts, "I wanted to document and collect Sofia's dress for evidence and then get yours and Sofia's statement." Captain Williams goes right into talking to with Callie making it perfectly clear that Captain Williams doesn't work with kids that often. But as of right now Sofia isn't a normal child who needs special attention to calm her down after seeing a dead body.

Anyways, Callie just nods her head and starts to stand up and I do the same. Captain Williams looks at me with a little bit of confusion. "You can just stay right here and one of the other officers will be around to get your statement as well ma'am."

"That's my wife, Sofia's other mother." Callie says when she picks up that Captain Williams has prevented me from coming with her and Sofia.

"Oh," is all Captain Williams says. "Do you have the proper paperwork, saying that she is Sofia's legal guardian?"

"We do," Callie says coldly.

"Well I need to see it first before I can let your wife come back there with you and your daughter."

"Seriously? That is something I don't carry around everyday-"

"It's ok, Callie. I'll be here when you're done." I cutoff.

Callie wants to protest, but at the moment there is nothing she can do and I know she wants to get this over with so we can leave. Callie doesn't say anything to me as she; Sofia and Captain Williams go into one of the back rooms.

I slowly lower myself to the floor again and I'm about to get lost in my 'oh my god, my daughter is just like me how could this happen?' thoughts but a young man wearing his Air Force dress blues comes up to me. One look at his shoulder tells me he's not an officer like Captain Williams, he's an enlisted solider. He's an E-6, which is a technical sergeant.

For the next hour in a half technical sergeant Andrew Hill takes my statement. We spend extra time getting to know each other because I have blood on my hands and on my dress thanks to Sofia. After I give him my play by play of my life this morning all the way up to when I found the body, Andrew Hill decides he has enough information from me. Before he leaves he gives me the classic 'we'll call you if we need any more information' line, and then walks away from me and starts to talk to Owen.

I'm standing against the wall for about 5 minutes when I see Callie and Sofia exit one of the back rooms. Sofia's dress is gone and she is now wearing an oversized grey Air Force t-shirt. I walk over to them and when I get there Sofia let's go of Callie's hand and grabs on to mine, calmly of course. The three of us walk into the banquet room to collect the twins before we say our 'goodbyes' and 'I'm sorry this happened to you, Mark' and then leave the Palace Ballroom.

Callie drives by herself in the Range Rover, while I drive the kids in the Tahoe. The twins are talking to each other like always, while Sofia just sits in the back staring out the window…Lost in her thoughts? She's seven years old, what could she be thinking about? What is mama going to make for dinner? I wonder if I could spend the night at Zola's house next weekend? Is that really what a dead body looks like? Or I really want to kill the neighbor's dog.

Mark and Lexie's wedding took place on a Sunday late morning, early afternoon. It only took me 10 minutes to get to the Palace Ballroom because most of Seattle was in church, but now that church is over the streets of Seattle seem a little bit more crowded. So our 10 minute drive turns into a 20 minute drive. Callie and I get home at the same time, the minute we open the door the twins take off running after the dogs while Callie, Sofia and I enter the house slowly and quietly. Sofia is still choosing to stay by my side.

"You have more stamina to keep up with the twins. Why don't you play with the twins while I get Sofia cleaned up." Callie says to me.

I nod my head agreeing with her, Sofia stepping closer to me and then wrapping her arms around my legs causes our game plan to change. "They've been running around all afternoon, and they were upset that I cut their Scooby Doo time in half this morning. They should simmer down if you start to play Scooby Doo, while I clean up Sofia."

At first Callie doesn't say anything. She just sighs and looks down at Sofia with sadness in her eyes before she nods her head and proceeds to enter the formal dining room to round up the twins while Sofia and I go upstairs to her room.

I run the water and get her bath ready while she stands behind me getting undressed. Once Sofia is undressed and the water is ready, Sofia gets into the tub and proceeds to wash herself. She has bubbles and toys, but she chooses not to play with them as she silently cleans herself. It takes Sofia five minutes to get the dried up blood off her hands, which she does in complete silence. No singing, no humming and no idle chit chat. I may not be an expert at human emotions but this is not normal, is it? I guess there is only one way to find out.

"How are you feeling, Sof?" I question.

Sofia stops washing her stomach before she sits up straight and looks at me. "I don't know," she responds with small bubbly shrug. "How am I supposed to feel?"

Good question, "I don't know." I start, "Everyone is different, everyone could have different feeling when they found what you found. Some people might be scared, or sad, or maybe a little angry."

"Do you feel scared, sad or angry?" Sofia asks.

I pause to look her, and she doesn't move as she continues to look at me from the bathtub. "No," I say after a long and loud sigh.

"Then I don't feel scared, sad or angry either."

I just lightly nod my head. "It's okay for you to feel scared, sad or angry. Just because I'm not doesn't me you have to be." I pause for a moment. "Just tell me how you feel, there's no right or wrong answer and you won't get in trouble if I don't like your answer."

Sofia drops her eye contact with me and looks down at the water for a moment. "I don't feel anything. Everybody around me is sad, but I'm not. Is that bad?"

I don't say anything to her at first. In my world, the land of Arizona, its not bad for you to not have any emotions, but to the outside world. Yes it is bad. "Some people see that as bad," I say with a slight head nod.

"Do you think it bad?"

Sofia is on a roll with life altering questions right now.

"I don't see it as bad," I say as I shake my head, "but I know it's not normal. And when you are out with other people you want to appear normal."

"Oh," Sofia starts. "Can you show me how to be normal?"

I can honestly say that I was expecting the 'where do baby's come from' question before the 'how do I be normal' question. Truth be told I was hoping I would somehow dodge that 'one of your children is a psychopath just like you' situation altogether. I guess that was just wishful thinking on my part.

"Yes, I can teach how to be normal, and I can teach a lot of other stuff as well." I add.

"Like what?"

I want to answer her question, but I don't when I hear footsteps coming our way. It takes a good minute for the footsteps to make it to us. Sofia and I look over towards the bathroom doorway to see Callie standing there in sweat pants and a t-shirt. "Is everything alright, because you guys are quiet and have been up here for a long time."

"Yeah were fine, right Sof?" I say as I turn my attention from Callie to Sofia.

Sofia follows my lead and nods her head, "We're fine mama."

"We're almost done. We'll be downstairs in a few minutes."

Callie just nods her head at both of us before going downstairs. When Callie reaches the bottom of the stairs I look over towards Sofia who is cleaning herself off. It takes her five more minutes to get cleaned off before I help her out of tub and hand her a towel to dry herself off. Once she's dry and changed into her pajamas she looks over towards me. "We can save our talk for another time."

Sofia just nods her head as the two of us walk back downstairs into the living room. Roxie and Hilton are sleeping on the couch while the twins are lying flat on their stomachs watching Scooby Doo in their pajamas. "Go watch TV with your brother and sister while I get changed, okay."

Sofia nods her head again and walks over and sits on the love seat. When she sits down, Roxie gets up off the couch and goes to the love seat to curl up next Sofia. With the kids watching Scooby and with Callie in the kitchen reheating something for dinner, I go upstairs to change into sweat pants and long sleeve shirt as well. When I get downstairs is right around the time Callie calls us to the kitchen for dinner.

Callie warmed up some leftover anti-pasta salad…well set out because that dish is served cold. After dinner we break our monthly after dinner movie, which is Cars to watch Beauty and Beast for Sofia.

After the movie we carry on with our nightly ritual of putting the kids to sleep, and Sofia partakes in that ritual but her voice is calm and monotone as reads the book of the movie that we just watched. After the kids are asleep Callie and I find ourselves in the master bedroom laying in the bed in the darkness.

Callie lets out a small sniff, "who could do something like that?"

"I don't know," I say as slide over to Callie's side and wrap my hands around her.

"How is Sofia taking it? She seems a little out of it. Maybe she we should take her to see a therapist?"

"She's in shock Callie. Let's wait and see how she is in the morning, maybe she'll bounce back."

"Bounce back?" Callie questions as she turns around to face me. "She's not you, Arizona. She's only seven years old and she tripped and fell over a dead body while looking for Zola. You don't just bounce back from that?"

Expect she is like me and you just don't see it.

"I get it, but we should still wait before we take her see a therapist. She's a kid, I work with kids everyday, and I can tell you that they are not like adults they can bounce back and block things that some adults can't."

Callie and I just stare at each other in the darkness for a few minutes. "Fine, but if she is still quiet by the end of the day tomorrow, I'm looking for a good child therapist."

"Deal," is all I say back.

Callie rolls back so her back is facing me again, and it takes about 15 minutes before her breathing starts to become shallow as she falls asleep in my arms. When Callie falls asleep is when I allow my mind to wander back to the events of today.

Sofia and her new little friend that only I can see is the first thing that comes to mind. Sofia was the last one on my list of children to be like me. I always thought that whatever made me like this was genetic, meaning William or Jackie would be the one to pick up a dark passenger, not Sofia. Statically speaking William was at the top of my list because a good majority of serial killers are men, Jackie was second and Sofia was last. Can you blame for putting her last? Biologically Sofia isn't mine, but there I was talking to my seven year old daughter about being normal and having little to no emotions. I also can't forget the part where she has already killed an animal. A cat, a few years ago, at the time she said she didn't like it, but times change and people change. Does she have an animal graveyard in the backyard? Will I find trophies somewhere in her room? I guess that would be part two of our conversation that will be held on another day at another time.

Nick did help create me; maybe I could help create Sofia. I have more knowledge and first hand experience about the subject. Using a special parenting technique that only I know about, I could help keep her new fledgling Dark Passenger strapped into a safe, snug dark car seat until she learns how to drive for herself. I feel a small smile creep on my face, the one thing I never wanted to happen is happening. One of my children is walking down the same dark trail that I did when I was younger. Callie and I did say that we were going to stop it if one of the kids started to show the same signs I did, but now that it is actually happening. I kind of don't want to stop it. Is this the beginning of my legacy? A future generation of monsters passed down in future years to one lucky child? I entertain the thought of having a Robbins family serial killer tree, until the sandman pays me a visit and I finally fall asleep for the night.

There is no doubt that I'm a monster, a slightly civilized monster, with a pitch of moral standards. One of side effects of being a monster means I dream very little. So it only seems like seconds after I closed my eyes for night before I hear Callie's sweet voice in my ear telling me its time to get up.

It takes me a good minute to fully wake up before I'm in the bathroom getting ready for a long first day back at work. I shower and wash my long hair before I choose to get dressed in light blue jeans, a black button shirt with matching black low top Converse Chuck Taylor's. The kids are sitting in front of the coffee table coloring with Spongebob Square Pants, one of my least favorite cartoons, playing on the TV as background noise.

I kiss each of my tiny humans on the head telling them good morning before I plop down right in the middle of the couch. Hilton jumps up on the couch and curls up next me on the right side. When Hilton gets situated I rest my hand on her back and gently pet her while I watch TV. Sofia finishes her drawing before she sits on my left side to watch TV as well. We get through the last half of Spongebob before Callie calls us for breakfast. Callie decided to try something special with kids; she made an egg scramble with cheese, spinach, onions and peppers with English muffins and bacon. The kids either didn't notice or didn't care about the ingredients in the eggs because they eat everything with no complaints. After breakfast the kids get into the Tahoe with Callie, while I get into the Range Rover. Callie heads to Brightwater before heading to work, while I just go straight work.

When I get to the hospital I follow my normal routine, change into my scrubs, check my patient list, and then do rounds. My day is pretty busy with 4 schedule surgeries and any severe cases that walk through April's ER. I have two morning surgeries back to back, a lunch break followed by two afternoon surgeries back to back. The joy of coming back to work after a four day vacation.

After my rounds, I head downstairs for my first scheduled surgery, an intestinal malrotation on a 6-month-old baby. I was supposed to do this surgery with Addison because this is her specialization. But the fact that she's 8 months pregnant is now making surgery a little bit hard for her at the moment, so I get work with Jo Wilson, Karev's girlfriend. Jo started out with pediatric surgery but after she was placed on Addison's service for a straight month she fell in love with it and has been in the neonatal field ever since.

Jo and I really aren't that close, so we don't talk about the events that happened yesterday at Mark's wedding. We pass the time making small talk about life and the possibility of Alex proposing to her in the future. She doesn't ask about my kids because Sofia was the one that found Sloan's body, and like I said before she is trying to avoid that conversation all together and I don't blame her really. Three hours later our surgery is successful, Jo gives Addison the play by play of everything that happened in the operating room while I go talk to the parents.

Originally I was going to see if Teddy wanted to go get coffee with me, but when I glanced at the surgical board to make sure that my second surgery was still scheduled I saw that she and Yang would be in surgery all morning and then again all afternoon. After I talk to the parents of our 6 month old patient I head to the coffee cart by myself. I get a small Vanilla Spice Latte, and sit on one of benches by the coffee cart for a few minutes while I drink my coffee doing another thing I love, people watching.

My short 15 minute break is over and soon I find myself back downstairs scrubbing in for my least favorite surgery of day. Jackson and I are performing a bariatric surgery on a rich and lazy sixteen year old girl. Bariatric surgery is for weight loss for people who have a body mass index over 40. I don't have a problem performing this procedure if the patient has tried over alternatives and those failed, but this girl refuses to try. She won't do diet or exercise and thinks that this surgery will solve her obesity problem.

Just like my surgery before this one, I was supposed to do this surgery with Mark, but for obvious reasons I'm doing this surgery with Jackson. Out of respect Jackson doesn't bring up Sofia or the wedding. He is one of those people that will leave you alone and will let you come him with your problems, and I kind of like that. After another three hour surgery, Jackson and I are done. The surgery was perfect our end, now it is up to our patient to eat right and exercise if she wants it to truly work. Since this was Mark and Jackson's patient Jackson is the one to talk to the parents while I go downstairs for a much needed lunch break, because I'm starving.

I'm standing in the cafeteria deciding what I want to eat for lunch. Over the past four days I've had burgers, pasta and chicken. I don't trust the pizza ever since I got sick from it a few years ago. So I walk over to Tommy the sandwich guy, and get a sandwich with turkey, ham, and roast beef, with other toppings on it. I grab a bag of potato chips and fruit salad and a bottle of water. As I pay for lunch I see Teddy, Addison and Callie enter the line. Looks like I won't be alone for lunch. I find a big enough table to hold the four us and sit down and begin to each my sandwich. I take one bite out of my sandwich when I see Nick sit down next to me on the right side.

"Owen wasn't lying when we said you were one busy doctor. Surgery all day, how do you do it?" Nick asks as he takes my bag of chips, opens it and starts to eat from it.

"You get used to it." Is my only response.

Nick just slightly nods his head as he continues to eat my chips. "Did you think any more about helping me with this case?" Nick says with a stuffed mouth.

"What if I say no," I ask.

Nick doesn't say anything as he eats the rest of my bag of chips. Asshole. "Haven't really thought about that yet, because I just assumed that you would say yes."

"Well you assumed wrong."

"I guess so," Nick says as he leans back in his chair. "It would suck if the people you loved the most found out about your little hobby."

I just give Nick a small chuckle before I take another bite out of my sandwich. "Sorry Nick, but your going to have to try a lot harder than that."

Nick's face drops a little. I just nod my head at him. "Callie's known about me for the past three years and she is ok with that."

Nick just nods his head and crosses his arms over his chest. "Interesting." Nick lets out a large sigh. "Alright, I'll be frank with you. I have a perfect solve rate. 100%, ever since I joined NCIS I have solved every case they put me on, which is why I have been assigned to The Road Truck Killer case. However, this case is a lot harder than the other cases and I'm having a hard time finding clues and leads. I figured that someone of your dark and twisty statue could help me solve this case and keep my record perfect."

"Keeping a perfect solve rate seems like your problem, not mine." I say coldly.

Nick leans forward towards me. "Well see here is where it becomes your problem. See if I can't solve this case, I'll just overshadow it with you. I think the world would be shocked when they find out that The Night Caller, Dr. Death, The Thumb Print Killer and The Puget Sound Butcher were all the same person."

"Oh please do share how you're going to prove that? Are you going to get on the stand and say that I taught her everything she knows?" I say mockingly.

"I used to walk round thinking and reading in the paper that you were the perfect human being. Kill people secretly and then for shits and giggles you would leave a body or two around to watch and laugh at the police while the scratch their asses because they had no clue what was going on. Then that changed when I came looking for you. I find you in Seattle of all places married with two daughters and a son. I did say you should have relationships with other women, but I didn't say marry the dumb bitch…That is probably the biggest mistake you have ever made, and if you made this mistake then I bet you've made others, and if you give me sometime I'll find them."

Nick and I are quiet just staring each other down. "What are you guys talking about?" Callie says as she sits across from the Nick on my left side.

"I'm trying to convince Arizona to join the other side for a moment, while I work on this Road Truck Killer case." Nick says with a sly grin to see if I was bluffing with him.

Nick and I are both quiet as we look at Callie while we wait for her response. After a few seconds she nods her head agreeing with Nick. "I think that is a good idea. I know what you are and I guess Nick knows what you are, I think having someone like you could help them might stop this guy from killing more innocent people."

Nick doesn't say anything as he shifts over towards me with a wide smile on his face. I just sigh and roll my eyes, "looks like you get your wish."

"Great!" Nick says as he slaps my back. "We are working out of Lewis-McChord Air Force Base." Nick takes out a piece of paper and writes down the address. "See you after work?"

"I guess," I whisper as I take the paper from his hand.

"Alright, see you this evening Arizona. Oh and I owe you a bag chips. Don't let me forget." Nick says before he leaves the cafeteria. After Nick leaves Addison and Teddy come and join us for lunch. Just like everyone else in the hospital they choose not to talk about what happened yesterday. So instead my lunch hour is filled with baby talk, Addison is due in the next few weeks which means Teddy and Addison are nervous and excited.

After lunch, I head downstairs for surgery number three, which I will be doing by myself. I have a seven year old girl with a diaphragmatic hernia. The surgery takes three hours and is successful. After I talk to the parents, I take coffee and people watching break number two. After my break I go to last scheduled surgery for day, which is a pectus excavatum on a ten year old boy. Since I have to reconstruct his chest this surgery takes me longer than three hours and because I'm dealing with the chest I have Teddy in their with me. Knowing Teddy our conversation about yesterday will happen later behind closed doors because lets face the nurses are the ones who like to gossip around here, not the doctors. After another successful surgery, I talk to the parents and do another set of rounds on patients before I finally head to my office for the first time today. I turn on my computer and plop down on my chair with sigh. For the remainder of my shift I fill out chats, paperwork and answer some emails. Usually after a long day like this I'm usually happy to leave the hospital, but not today. After I take my shower instead of driving home and taking a nap on the couch in the living room while the kids play around me, I have to go solve a crime with Nick because he wants to be perfect, fuck perfect and fuck him.

The Lewis McCord Air Force base is located out in Lakeland, which is an hour south of Seattle. Seattle is a pretty upscale city; you have to make a lot of money in order to live in or around the city. Most people who work in Seattle who aren't doctors or lawyers live in Tacoma, Kent, or Auburn and just make the 30 to 45 minute commute to the city. I say this because when I got done with work it was going on 5:30 in the evening, which is prime time for rush hour. My hour drive takes me an extra 30 minutes. Unless the kids, Callie or Teddy is in the car with me I don't really listen to the radio, it can cause distraction, and someone like me doesn't need distraction. So on my one hour and thirty minute drive to the Air Force base I'm left with only my thoughts.

I was fully prepared to think about Sofia and what I plan to do and teach her, but Nick and this whole situation I got myself into trumps her. How is that I always find myself on the short end of the blackmail list? Has the hybrid of Callie and Tim's code to killing made me a softer monster than most? If I was living on my own, no Callie, no kids, no Tim and no Nick, would I be a lot more violent? If some like Nick or Polly came up to me with a threat would I just snap their neck right there and then walk away? Seem reasonable; I wouldn't get myself into half the trouble I find myself in now.

I just give a heavy sigh as I make my way up to the armed guard gate at the entrance of the base. Nick already told them I was coming so they had a visitor badge waiting for me. After checking my ID and having a dog sniff around the outside of my car for drugs and explosives the guard takes out a map and shows me the roads I need to take to get to the building as well as a bright green half sheet of paper that I need to keep visible in my car at all times. As I make my way to the Nick's building I pass a small housing development. Most housing on bases are usually reserved for officers who have families and aren't staying at the base long enough to buy a house and get settled in. After I pass the housing development, I see Aircraft hangers on my left side and the airfield on my right side. When I make to the end of the airfield I take a left hand turn. I pass the base hospital as I continue to drive down the same road. At the end of the road to my right is a somewhat large three-story building with Special Investigations on the top of if. I pull into an empty parking space and turn off my engine. I take one more sigh before I get out of the car and make my way inside.

I step in the lobby to see Nick, being Nick, which means he's flirting with a young enlisted soldier that is probably the person does all the bitch work around here. Let's face it in the military world; enlisted soldiers are like interns in the medical world. So eager to learn and will bend over backwards at any chance to learn and advance in the ranks. The girl with long dark brown hair that is pulled into a bun looks over at me causing Nick to do the same. Nick turns around and his smile gets bigger, "Arizona!" he says as he raises his arms and gives me a big hug. "So glad you changed your mind."

I hug him back and chuckle in ear, "like I had a choice."

We back away from each other, just grinning at each other before Nick turns around and leads me down the hall to our left. So many left turns on this base…

Together in silence we walk upstairs to the second floor. After one left turn, surprise, we walk to the end of the hall and make yet another left turn a large open room. The room is almost straight out of a movie or TV Show. All four walls are covered with pictures and notes, and right in the middle of the room is a large table with four laptops and desk chairs. Brown folders are scattered all over the table, with a perfect mixture of what I guess is crime scene reports and more photos. With sigh, I decide to change things up and turn to my right as I start to look at the pictures and notes that are taped to the wall.

According to pictures on the wall it looks there have been a total of 37 people who have been killed by this mysterious Road Truck Killer. There are two photos of each person that this guy has killed. A picture of what they looked like before they died and a picture of their cut body after they were found. Along with their pictures the person's name, age, city and state they were found in is written in perfect blue shape. Clearly this is Nick's handwriting. I swear when we were kids he had to have practiced his handwriting because this is way to perfect. After I look at all the pictures in the room, I till my head to the side. Accompanying the pictures and the life facts about the victims, each victim as a sticky note by their picture. The same person has been writing on all the sticky notes because there is only one word in small spidery handwriting on the notes. The word is different for each person, but when I looked at the words and person I picked up a pattern. The women have derogatory names on their sticky notes, slut, whore, tramp, escort, I could go on but I think you get the jest. The men on the other hand have swindler, cozener, victimizer, trader, and just like the women the list goes on. Another thing I notice is each state has different color sticky note. Sloan and her son, Joseph Allen Riley, have blue sticky notes. People killed in New York have yellow, Washington D.C. is green and Illinois is purple.

"Do you know what the sticky notes mean?" I question as I take another lap around the room looking at each picture making sure I didn't miss anything.

"Beside the fact that each state has different color, we have no clue." Nick says still standing in the doorway.

"I was unaware that this guy was leaving you notes." My back is facing Nick at the moment, so I turn around to face him.

Nick just shrugs his shoulders, "It's that one small yet big piece of evidence we keep from the media. Helps weed out which tips and threats are real and which ones are just the copycats or people trying to get there 15 minutes of fame. But you should know all that."

I just nod my hand as I walk towards the table that is currently between us. I pick up a light brown folder and open it. There is only one piece of paper inside, I take it and take a closer look it. It has two different lists with the names of drugs on them. On the right side of the list I see Paracelamol, Codeine, Tramadol, and Mophine Sulphate. On the left side of the list I see names like Phenobarbitol, Diazepam, and Amobarbital. With list still in my hands I lift my head up and look at the pictures around the room as a theory starts to form in my head.

"That's the list of drugs we found in the victim's body. Each victim had a different combination but those are the drugs this guy is using on the victims." Nick pauses to look at me for a moment. "You know something already."

I turn my head to my right and look over towards Nick who is now standing in front of the door with the door closed behind him. "I have a theory."

Nick just nods his head as he takes a step closer towards the center of room, which were the table is. "Care to share?"

I just give him a small perplex look, "why would I do that, I thought this was competition. See who gets the killer first. Seeing how you and your team don't know how to use your endless amount resources I would say I'm in the lead, and I don't want to ruin that." I say with cocky smile.

"How about we start out working together before we start pushing and shoving our way to the finish line." Nick says. "It would suck if you killed the wrong person or if I arrested the wrong person."

"Correction, it would suck for you. I still get my satisfaction of killing, guilty or not."

"You say that now until you realize that you broke one of mine and Tim's rules." Nick crosses his arms over his chest.

I point to myself, "The Night Caller and The Thumbprint Killer, we both know that all those victims were innocent." I pause for a moment as I feel a smile creep on my face. "I don't care who you are, I will still get giddy like a school girl when my knife cuts through human flesh regardless of what they have done in the past."

Nick just nods his head in defeat. "Ok you win, Arizona." Nick pauses for a moment as he looks at me. "Can we stop with the petty shit, and just work together to get this guy. I think we can both agree that he should be taken off streets. And for once in my career I don't want him arrested and thrown in jail. I want him on your table, and I will do everything in my power to make sure that that happens."

I don't say anything as I just look at him for a moment. "It's just a theory, I could be completely wrong." I say with a sigh.

"You could be right," Nick replies.

I sigh again and just nod my head. "I think…" I pause second guessing myself. "I think this person is playing a game."

Nick just gives me a small look of confusion, silently telling me to continue and I do. "Your list of drugs, the right side are painkillers and the left side are sedatives. He's is trying to keep his victim alive for a long as possible while he hacks them up." I'm greeted with more confusion from Nick so I keep going. "The shock and pain from losing part or all of your limb is enough to kill you before the loss of blood kills you. This guy is making sure they don't feel that much pain and is making such that they are as calm as possible. Either this guy has practiced his technique on other victims we don't know about or he's a surgeon because the wounds are professionally stitched up and taken of."

"Where does the game aspect come into all of this?" Nick questions.

"The sticky notes," I point with my head as we both look to the wall that is right behind Nick. "I think of game hangman, when I see one word with cut up bodies. Guess the wrong letter and you lose a limb, and when you die…game over." I trail off.

"Your telling me that 37 people couldn't guess an easy word like whore or escort?" Nick says to me.

"Either they can't guess the word the because there are in shock or he's cheating." I reply back.

"How do you cheat at human hangman?"

"I don't know yet, but I'm pretty sure there's away."

Nick doesn't saying anything else as he starts to walk around the room looking at the pictures and sticky notes while thinking to himself. While he paces and thinks my attentions turns to small moveable white board with one name in the center in Nick's perfect handwriting with a question mark by it and several pictures of one guy taped around the board.

"How's Dr. Berkel?" I question when I see the name written on the white board.

"That's not his real name it's nickname." Nick says from behind me.

I turn around and to look him. It's my turn to stare and look at Nick in confusion. "It was a little before our time." Nick starts. "It was part of an old 1950s commercial. Berkel presents the autoveggie. It slices, it dices-" Nick says with small hand movements. "That's what Tim and everyone in SEAL Team 7 called him. He turned humans, mainly the enemies of the United States, into chopped-up vegetables. It was kind of a sick joke they had when they were far from home and saw pretty terrible things."

"And know he's back and showing off for all of the United States." I say, "but why the question mark."

"I thought he had something to do with it, but according to his death certificate he has been dead for past four years." Nick lets out a sigh, "I've been looking around some of his old hangouts and hideaways, for that off chance that he faked his own death. But I'm really starting to think that he is really dead, and plus none of his victims are related to anyone on SEAL Team 7."

"What does SEAL Team 7 have to do with Dr. Berkel?" I question.

"Let's just say what Tim and the others did to him, made him a little angry." Nick says with a small head nod, "and if he could slice and dice an enemy with no remorse he would have no problem killing SEAL Team 7 and their families."

"What did my brother and others do?" The room is silent before my phone lets out a whistle letting me know that Callie is texting me.

"It's a long story, but I don't want to keep you past your curfew." Nick says to me.

Right when I thought we got over all this pettiness. "Well I did miss dinner, but if I leave now I could be back home in time to tuck the kids into bed."

"Wow," Nick says as he looks to the ground while shaking his head.

"What?" I bark at him, "Do you have problem with my family?"

"I don't, your son is cute and innocent probably like your daughters, and Callie is a nice sweet loving women. My problem is with you." Nick looks up and points at me. "Why did you marry and start a family with her?"

"Because I love her."

Nick stands up and little straighter while giving me a shocked look. "You love her." Nick says with a small grin. "What the fuck do you know about love? Better yet what do you know about emotions in general?" Nick pauses, "Tim and I taught how to feel in certain situations, and now all of a sudden you have these 'emotions' for Callie?"

"I never said I was some genius when it came to emotions, I don't normally have them, but when it come to Callie I do." I say to Nick, "I truly love her."

"Please enlighten me, what do you 'love' about Callie?" Nick questions.

The room is silent after Nick's question. I've never been asked that question before and I don't know how to answer it. Does that me I don't love Callie? I mean I've killed for her before, but did I do it for Callie or did I do it for me? Before my brain can think of something to say out of nowhere I just open my mouth and words come out.

"Ever since I first laid eyes on Calliope I've had a small crush on her…My heart dances around her when I see her in real life, in pictures, in video, it even dances when I hear her voice over the phone. I never was a sexual person, but Calliope changed that when I got to know her. My mind would race with thoughts of things I would love to do to her if I ever go the opportunity, and it still does now even though I know she is all mine. The three of us were inseparable until Tim died. So we both know I love beautiful women, but there are still some women out there that make you crazy, like forget the English language, ramble about dumb stuff, make you sweat for no reason crazy, and Calliope is defiantly that woman for me. Her beauty is beyond words. Her sex appeal is overwhelming, seriously the woman is hot…She has a way of folding her arms, pursing her lips, and raising an eyebrow to interns and residents when they get her upset, and it makes me weak in the knees. My list of things I love about Calliope grows everyday. Every morning when she whispers in my ear to get up or if I get up before her and see her lying there I thank whomever is out there for bring her into my life. The more time I spent with her, getting to know her and being around her made me realize how much I love her and want to spend the rest of my life with her. I'm not denying that you and Tim taught me how to fake emotions, but when I'm with Calliope I don't have to fake anything. My emotions for her just come flooding out and sometimes I can't control them. She makes me look forward to getting up in the morning and she gives me a reason to fight when I have to. When I was with you and Tim, you guys made me think that my future was dark and nothing good was going to come for me. Calliope shines some light in my future. I'm not saying its sunshine and puppies, but it's a lot better than what you and Tim had planned for me. I look forward to my future with Calliope, can't wait for it be thirty years later when we are both old and senile having stupid arguments about the way she makes my sandwich when we both know she's making the same way for past forty years." The room is silent while Nick and I stare at each other. I just give him a shrug, "I may not be an expert at love, but in my world that is what love means to me."

Nick doesn't say anything as he continues to stare at me. I can see the inner debate he is having with himself. He wants to call bullshit, but the more he stares into my eyes the more he sees that I really mean it, and I think it kind of pisses him off. Pretty much everything he knows around serial killers went up in flames when I showed him not only my weakness for Callie, but also the fact that I can produce genuine feelings for another human being.

"You should get going," Nick whispers.

I just nod my head and walk towards the door. "My schedule is pretty busy the next few days, maybe sometime next week you can tell me the story about Dr. Berkel." I say as I open the door.

"Yeah, I'll call you." Nick says as he takes a sit in one of desk chairs. He rests his elbows on the table and puts his face in his hands before he lets out a deep sigh. I don't say anything as I leave the room and make way outside to my car. Before I start the engine I get out my phone and read my text message from my wife.

'Where are you?'

'I was at the Air Force base with Nick, I should be home in about an hour.' I type back.

I don't wait for a response as I put my phone in the center console and turn on my car and start the hour drive back into the city. Rush hour has been over for quite sometime, plus I'm driving into the city and not out of it, so it only takes me 50 minutes to get home.

As I turn into our street for the first time today my Dark Passenger starts to stir in the backseat. His constant movement and whispers cause me look around at my surrounding as I drive back to the house. Even in the safety of my of garage something isn't sitting right with him, and his small soft whispers turn in to loud incoherent grumblings. His not really saying anything to me or telling me what to do so I push his comments aside while I enter the house. I'm about to close the garage door when I see two large white trash bags sitting by the door when I walk into the house. It's trash night and Callie must be putting the kids to sleep before taking out the trash. I pick up the bags and put them into the large trash bins in the garage and then take those trash bins to the curb. As I set the trash bins on the curb, my Dark Passenger finally tells me to do something.

Look Left…

I do, I see nothing out of ordinary. Some houses have the front light on, and cars in the driveway and some cars in the street. Right now no one is walking their dog, or going out for a run. So what did The Dark Passenger mean by look left?

While he hisses at my stupidity, the Passenger whispers Avalon.

I scan the area again when I see it. Three houses down on the other side of road is black 2015 Toyota Avalon. The Avalon has dark tinted windows; I bet it's an illegal tint, so I can't see inside of it. Well not from here at least. However, when I notice the Avalon it's engine turns on along with its headlights. The Avalon pulls out of its parking space and drives towards me. I never take my eyes off the Avalon while it drives pass me and turns right onto Boyer Ave and out of my sight. The Avalon drove with purpose, didn't stop or slow down when it passed me it drove like it knew were it wanted to go. Something like that shouldn't case alarm, right? Maybe I noticed the Avalon right when someone was leaving a friends house, because I know nobody on this street owns an Avalon.

As I listen to my Passenger hiss one more time before slipping back into his seat quietly waiting for his turn to drive is when I realize the Avalon doesn't belong here. Unfortunately I made this realization a little too late and the Passenger and I know it. He lets out a loud huff before he finds a comfortable spot in the back of my brain. He's upset with me at the moment because I didn't get the license plate number or see who was driving the car. It's too late for me to do anything now expect wait and see if Mr. Avalon makes another appearance in my life.

I walk back inside and close the garage door. I missed both dinner and the movie, but I made it just in time to tuck the kids in. Callie is looking through William's closet for monsters when I enter his room.

"Mommy," he somewhat yells as he gets out of bed to give me hug.

"Hey little man," I say as I bend down and pick him up.

"I missed you," William says after he gives me a kiss on the cheek. "I thought you left us again."

Callie and I just look each other, we both know he is talking about the time Callie kicked me out of house when she found out I was a serial killer. "I will never leave you, or sisters, or Mama. I'm always going to come home to you guys, I promise." I say before I kiss him cheek and lay him down in bed.

"All the monsters are gone, William. It's safe for you to go to sleep." Callie says as she walks over to place a kiss on his forehead.

"Goodnight Mama, goodnight Mommy." William says when I turn off his light and close his door a little.

I say hi and then goodnight Jackie before I go into Sofia's room. Sofia has a small smile when I enter her, and I give her a small smile in return. "How are you doing, baby girl." I say as I hand her Beauty and Beast.

Sofia shrugs, "ok I guess."

"How was your day?"

"Like every other day, I did the class work that the teacher told us do. And I didn't get in trouble for talking like Zola did."

"Were you talking to Zola? Did you get her trouble?" I question.

Sofia shakes her head. "No Zola was talking to Samantha and Rachel while Mrs. Williams was going over the coin value worksheet."

I just nod my head, "how was recess? Did you play with anyone else beside Zola?"

Sofia shakes her head again. "Zola, Samantha and Rachel got their recess taken away for talking so I just played by myself at the tire swing." Sofia says while she looks up at me.

She's lying. I can see it in her eyes. She did something else during recess. I want to know what it was but the fact that Callie is the next room prevents me from confronting her.

"That's good normal day right Mommy?"

I just nod my head, "yeah it baby girl, but we need to work on recess skills because you can't be playing by yourself all the time. That's not normal."

"Oh," Sofia says as she slumps down a little bit.

"Don't worry baby girl, when the time is right I will show you everything you need to know. But first I'm dying to know what happens in Beauty and the Beast."

Sofia just smiles at me before she opens the book and starts reading. When she's done I tuck her in and kiss her goodnight before I join Callie in the kitchen. Since Sofia and I got a late start to Beauty and Beast, Callie finished reading to Jackie before Sofia and I got done with our book. So while Sofia was reading to me she came downstairs and warmed up my dinner. She made meatloaf with macaroni and cheese. Not my favorite, but I'll eat it anyways.

"Even though Sofia's teachers said she was doing alright today I still want to take her to see therapist. I just don't want her have repressed memories that will hurt her later on in life." Callie says to me.

"Ok, if you want to take her see a therapist we can do that." I reply back.

"Great, I already found one, Karen Fowler. She's really great from all the reviews I've read."

I just drop my head I laugh to myself, of course Callie already found a therapist. I would be worried if she hadn't by now. After dinner we both call it a night because just like today we both a busy schedules tomorrow, and seeing how I didn't have any traumas today I know I will have some tomorrow.

Like I said last night a monster like me doesn't dream, when I close my eyes for the night nothing happens. However it would seem that tonight is a little bit different because when I open my eye, it's not morning it's still night. And I'm not in my body or in my room. I'm sitting in a poorly lit car, with the dashboard and the GPS on my right side being my only light source at the moment. I try to look and move around, but I can't. I have no control over this body. Since I can't look around on my own try my best to take a look around my current surround from the position that I'm in. Along with GPS and dashboard I can only see the steering wheel, which as a Toyota symbol on it. The tinted windows make it hard for me to see out the window, but from what I can tell the Toyota is parked on a street in a quiet neighborhood.

While I'm looking at the neighborhood, I see my right hand reach down and take off my seat belt before I open the car door and step outside. The minute I stepped out of the car I notice immediately how warm this night is. The temperature has to be high 60s low 70s, which is a little weird for Seattle in the middle of November. I take a deep breath through my nose and I'm instantly greeted with a ocean/beach smell and a few seconds later I can actually hear the sounds of the ocean in the distance. The temperature, the smell and the noise let's me know that I'm no longer in Seattle.

I feel the car keys in my hand. My head moves downwards as I look for lock button, when I find it I press it twice while looking at my, black 2015 Toyota Avalon, when it locks I turn around and start to walk towards the front door of a nice small two story house. When I was facing the car for a hot second I not only noticed the car, but I also noticed the city in the background. It looks a lot like Los Angeles.

The walk from the car to the front door is about 10 feet, when I make it to the door I raise my left hand and knock on the door. In about two minutes the owner of the house greets me. It's a short young woman with long dark brown hair and blue eyes. She smiles at me shakes my hand and invites me in her home. I take off my shoes before I follow right behind her, she leads me through a small hallway before it opens up to a wider area. On my left side there is the kitchen and on my right side there is a staircase that leads the second floor. Right in front of me is the living room with the back wall being a large sliding glass window that leads to a nice pool and a nice view of the beach and ocean. I stand by the window looking at the view when the woman appears on my right side. She's holding two glasses of wine and offers me one, and I accept it.

With my wine glass, I follow her to the kitchen table where sit right across from each other. For the next hour we get drink and talk. I can't hear what is being said, but I notice that I've been lightly sipping my first drink while the woman across from me has finished one bottle of wine and is moving on to another bottle. The women gets up from her chair and goes to the kitchen to get another bottle wine and when she does I look down for a moment and put on a pair of latex gloves before taking a needle out of my pocket. The woman returns completely clueless with another bottle of wine. She is trying to open the bottle when I stand up and lunge at her from across the table. The two of us collide into each other violently when…I reopen my eyes.

I'm back to being me again. I'm in my room, in my house, in my body. Currently I have my back towards Callie as I lay on my left side facing the nightstand. It's currently 3:09 in the morning. I let out a sigh as I roll on to my back. Well that was weird. Why was I in Los Angeles, and why was I about to attack a stranger?

For the next thirty minutes I just lie there staring at the ceiling reliving my dream trying to figure out what it means. I get absolutely nowhere when I feel myself start to get sleepy again. My eyes get too heavy to stay open and right before I fall asleep again my Dark Passenger stirs little bit before he whispers…Amelia Shepherd…