Merlin began his walk back to the knights and his horse. In his head he was much too busy with repeating over and over what had just happened that he didn't noticed he was already at his horse until he heard Arthur speak.
"Hmm?" Merlin hummed.
"I asked if you were alright, because you don't look so well. Did Kilgharrah have some bad news?" Arthur asked.
Merlin put on his smile and shook his head, he was trying to avert attention away from him. "It was nothing." Merlin lied. "He just wanted to see if I was feeling well after the transition, which I am." Merlin mounted his steed and pulled the reigns tight. "So, let's go back home. It's starting to get dark." Merlin pushed his horse forward with his heels and galloped away.
The knights didn't say anything, but did share a concerned look at one another. They quickly followed Merlin, but couldn't catch up with him and when they arrived at the courtyard, Merlin had already handed his horse over to one of the stable hands. Now the knights became more concerned and were certain that Merlin hadn't told the whole truth to them, but it wasn't like they could force Merlin to tell them what exactly had happened in the clearing.
~oOoOo~
Merlin walked through the castle corridors, being greeted by many of the castle staff and knights and guards alike. He nodded absentmindedly to them and consciously tried to keep his hands away from his stomach. He knew Kilgharrah wouldn't lie about something like that to him, but it was still surreal to have indeed life growing inside of him. And then the warning… what could it mean? It was something he had feared from the moment he heard he could conceive, he was afraid that something would happen to his child.
That's why he decided to keep the pregnancy a secret for now, even for Uther. He wanted to tell the news so bad, but what if something would happen before the child could see the light? He couldn't put Uther through that. He couldn't disappoint his husband like that. And he also didn't want anyone else know that he was pregnant as it would draw too much attention to him, attention he didn't want because people might get the idea to harm his child.
He walked up towards his and Uther's chambers, as he knew that dinner would be served soon. He just hoped that he wouldn't get symptoms, like food cravings or having that dreadful nauseating feeling, as some new mothers complained about when they found out they were pregnant. If he would get any of those, it would ruin the fact that he want to keep it a secret, just until he knew it was safe to announce the news.
With a big smile to hide his fears Merlin opened the door to his chambers and found his husband already waiting for him and coming towards him to greet him with a deep kiss. Uther then grabbed his hand and brought him towards the table where servants were laying the last hand at their dinner. "And," Uther began once most of the servants left with just one or two hovering in the back for when Uther of Merlin needed something. "What news did the Dragon have that it was necessary for you to go to the clearing?"
"It was nothing." Merlin lied, again, gripping his husband's hand tight and offering him a smile. "He just wanted to see with his own eyes whether I was recovered. That's all." He took a big sniff in the air. "Mmm, this smells delicious, let's eat shall we?"
Luckily for him, Uther didn't press further and instead they started eating their dinner and held their conversations light such as talking about Uther's day and what mischief the knights had done.
~oOoOo~
Eight weeks later, Merlin had troubles in keeping his secret just that. A secret. He had started to get some light mood swings and experienced quite some morning sickness, but had miraculously managed to keep it from Uther's attention by slipping into the antechamber whenever he felt the urge to puke. He was convinced that Uther would think that he would go to the kitchens to fetch their breakfast, which he would do after he rinsed his mouth from the foul taste.
Just like now. He had purged not nearly thirty minutes ago and was now walking back from the kitchen with a tray filled with sweet breads and a variety of cheeses. But he soon felt his stomach rolling a bit again and he shifted the tray onto one hand and with the other he pressed against his stomach as he slowed his walking a little bit. "Just a little longer, little one. We're almost at my room." Merlin muttered to his stomach, knowing very well from his short time as Gaius' apprentice almost seven years ago that the baby would hardly be a baby at only eight weeks. Still, it felt like it had calmed him down just slightly.
With a deep breath of fresh air he continued his walk and when he rounded the corner he saw Arthur and Lancelot coming towards him, still dressed in full armour - Merlin suspected that they had just returned from an early patrol. He put on his biggest smile, despite him feeling nauseous.
"Morning, Arthur, Lancelot." He greeted as he passed them and got a greeting in return. Merlin walked quickly away from them, giving them little time to say anything else to him. He only looked briefly over his shoulder to confirm that they actually rounded the corner instead of following him.
He had done perhaps five more steps when his stomach churned again, but now much more violently and he felt that bile was already rising in his throat. He immediately let go of the tray that now clattered on the ground with a loud crash and pushed one hand against his mouth and the other one against his stomach, but it was futile. He turned his head and removed the hand from his mouth just in time before he began to puke onto the ground.
He hadn't heard Arthur and Lancelot rush to his side with swords drawn. They were walking through the corridors when they suddenly heard a loud crash from where they had just passed Merlin and thought Merlin might've been under attack and didn't hesitate a minute to rush to his aid. Only when they rounded the corner, they didn't saw an attacker but Merlin who was coughing his gut out so it seemed and Arthur immediately started to panic over the fact that the same thing three months back could be happening again.
"Merlin," Arthur put a hand on the small of Merlin's back, as Merlin was leaning heavily against a wall with one of his hands and heaving deeply. "Merlin, what's wrong. Are you ill?"
"Merlin, talk to me." Arthur pressed when Merlin didn't answer. He then turned to Lancelot. "Can you get Gaius, please?"
Lancelot nodded quick. "Of course." He said and rushed off after one last look at one of his closest friends.
"Merlin, tell me. Please!"
Merlin managed to calm his breathing and the nauseating feeling passes slowly. "It's nothing. Just, - no, it's nothing." Merlin straightened and grinned. Then he looked down at the food scattered all over the floor, not to say anything about the sick that was on the other side of him. He had begun to bent down to pick up some of the chards of the broken crockery, until Arthur heaved him up at his arm.
"Err, what exactly are you doing?"
"What does it looks like?" Merlin retorted, one eyebrow drawn up. "Cleaning up. I've made the mess after all."
"But you've – you've just thrown up!" Arthur replied, as if that would explain everything.
"I just ate a bit of food that fell the wrong way, Arthur. It happens." Merlin lied, but saw that Arthur was having none of it.
"Merlin, if you're getting sick again, then tell me." After a moment of silence, Arthur added, "Does father know?"
"No!" Merlin spoke a bit louder. Then cleared his throat. "No, Uther doesn't need to know."
"Merlin, why so secretive?" Arthur asked, his face looked full of hurt. "If there's something wrong with you, you need to tell us. We can't, we can't go through it again."
Merlin knew exactly what it was. He could only imagine how fearful Uther and Arthur must've been when they learnt that he was sick and didn't seem to get any better. Merlin smiled again and put a hand on Arthur's bicep. "It's really nothing bad." Merlin answered, and this time truthfully. It wasn't something bad, a new life was cause for celebration, but he just didn't want the news out just yet. Kilgharrah's warning still lingered in the back of his mind.
At the same time, Lancelot neared with Gaius in tow. Around Gaius' neck hung his medical bag. "Lancelot told me you were sick." Gaius eyed the evidence of that sickness on the floor. Then he looked back at Merlin. "I need to do an immediate examination." He stated as he looked around for a chamber he could use and spotted a guest room. "In there is best for now."
Merlin had little time to oppose as he was already pushed into the room by Lancelot and Gaius. It wasn't until he was lead to the bed he noticed that Arthur wasn't with them anymore and he could just think of where he was off too - to get Uther. Merlin grumbled softly, everyone should've just let him in peace. He would deal with the situation himself.
"So tell me what you did when you had to throw up." Gaius inquired, already shoving Merlin's tunic up to his armpits and prodding Merlin's stomach with his fingers. Merlin felt a sense of protection going through him and batted Gaius' hands away with a small growl.
"It's nothing." He hissed soft. "As I told Arthur already. Just ate some food that my stomach disagreed with, I guess."
"Uh-huh." Gaius' wasn't so quick to believe what Merlin had told him.
"And so it never appeared before?"
"No?" Merlin lied, but he knew he was caught when he heard the waver that bordered question-like, in his own voice.
That was the moment Uther had burst into the room, with Arthur right behind him and swiftly closing the door. Uther pushed Lancelot and Gaius aside and perched down at the side of the bed and immediately grabbing Merlin's hands into his own, kissing his knuckles one by one before saying, "Arthur told me you had been sick in the hallway. What's wrong, love?"
"It's nothing!" Merlin now yelled, frustrations having the upper hand. His secret was close at being found out. Tears already formed in his eyes, which Uther noticed and he turned to the three people standing next to the bed. "Can you give us a moment, please?" It wasn't so much an order but a question, and the three of them nodded their heads and moved out of the room.
"Merlin, I cannot bear if you get sick again. Please explain to me what you're feeling."
Merlin saw the desperation in Uther's eyes and he couldn't bear to see that look one second longer. He didn't know if he was ready to tell Uther, but at the same time he reasoned that he had withheld Uther from the pregnancy for two months already, and Uther had the right to know that he was going to be a father.
In the end his emotions won the upper hand and he chocked out, "I'm pregnant," before burying his head into Uther's chest. "Please, don't hate me." The words were muffled against Uther's chest.
Uther froze and wondered if he had heard it correctly. He looked down at his husband, his hands clinging with all his might at his tunic. "Merlin, it's okay." Uther said softly and tried to get his husband to look at him, which he eventually succeeded in. Uther smiled softly, but Merlin was still sniffling and crying. "I have watched you this past week and I wasn't sure." His smile widened, "but now I know." Uther bent forward to press a soft kiss against Merlin's temple and when he sat back again he saw Merlin looking at him with a little confusion on his face.
"Y-you k-knew?" He hiccupped.
"As I said, I wasn't sure." Uther answered, "But I had my suspicion. I saw you instinctively putting your hands on your stomach and whispering words to it when you thought no one was looking, and then there was the sneaking off at odd times and I put two and two together. But I thought you wanted to surprise me, so I waited for you to come to me with the news, not the other way around."
"You're not mad?" Merlin asked, his eyes looking down as he was too afraid for Uther's reaction.
"Mad?" Uther breathed out a laugh, and put one curled finger under Merlin's chin to lift his head up. "I'm – I'm ecstatic!" Uther placed one soft hand on Merlin's stomach as he bent forward to kiss his husband deeply on his lips.
Merlin melted into the kiss, wrapping his arms around Uther's broad shoulders. He knew in the back of his head that he had to tell Uther about what Kilgharrah had told him, but now he was content enough to share this happy moment with his husband.
"You okay now, love?" Uther cradled Merlin's head in his hands and wiped the few tears that were left away with his thumbs. He smiled at Merlin before leaning in for a soft kiss.
Merlin nodded in Uther's hands.
"But you must let Gaius examine you, please. I just want to know everything's okay."
"Alright." Merlin answered.
"And we also need to inform the people that they should expect a child in nine months." Uther added happily. His eyes shone with mirth.
"No we can't tell them!" Merlin said, panic in his voice and his hands gripping Uther's upper arms tightly. Then he lowered his head and softly added, "And it's just seven left."
"What? Why can't we tell the people, and what do you mean with just seven left?" He cocked his head and brought Merlin's head up again by putting a finger under Merlin's chin. "Love, what's the matter?" Uther added when he saw Merlin's eyes tearing up again.
Merlin breathed deeply in. "I'm two months pregnant." His bottom lip started to quiver. "I-I couldn't tell you. Kilgharrah, he spoke of how the new beginning would bring doom and I – I couldn't let you know until I was sure everything was alright, but I'm still unsure, you weren't even supposed to find out already. I just wanted to keep it a secret, just a little longer but –"
"Merlin," Uther said, but Merlin rambled on.
"- then Arthur and Lancelot saw me vomit and –"
"Merlin!" Uther said a bit louder and grabbed Merlin's hands in his. "Merlin, calm down and take a moment to breathe." Uther added when Merlin stopped talking for a minute and looked up at him. "Start from the beginning. When did the Dragon tell you this?"
"T-two months ago." Merlin took in a quivering breath. "It was in the week when we made up after we stopped our fighting. That day when I needed to go to the clearing."
Uther nodded his head, a tiny smile forming in the right corner of his mouth. He remembered them making up several times that week.
"I – I was just so scared." Merlin admitted. "He told me moments before confirming I was pregnant that with the new beginning there will also come doom, a-and I thought it was about the child, I was afraid I would lose it. I couldn't let you go through that, that's why I wanted to wait until I was sure." Merlin started to sniffle and one tear dripped down his cheek. "And now the secret is out. What if – what if people want to harm our child?" Merlin buried his head in his husband's chest and Uther brought up his hands, softly shushing him.
"Merlin, do you really think I let someone harm you, or our baby?"
"No." Merlin answered after letting himself calm down a little bit more.
"Merlin, I will do everything for you, you know that." He waited until he saw Merlin nod and then embraced Merlin tightly again.
"But we need to let everyone know. It will only make them more nervous if you're suddenly surrounded with knights. They will speculate and gossip and we both don't want that."
Uther sat back again and smiled at Merlin. "And don't you want to tell Arthur he's going to be a big brother? I'm sure if he hears about it he'll be your personal guard at all times." Uther shook his head in amusement.
"Alright." Merlin finally answered softly, looking down. Then he lifted his head. "Alright, let's tell them." He said again, more firmer this time and nodding his head.
"Good." Uther answered, bending forwards to press a gentle kiss on Merlin's forehead. "Then I'll let them in."
Uther got off the bed and opened to the door. When he opened them he was immediately met with Gaius, Lancelot and Arthur's concerned faces but he didn't tell them anything yet. Instead he opened the door a little more to let everyone in, before he closed it behind them again and took his spot next to Merlin. He looked at his husband first before turning to the trio.
"We have something to announce." He smiled broadly, while Merlin barely managed something more than a twitching of his lips. "Merlin is pregnant. Two months already."
A heavy silence fell, until after several moments the congratulations streamed in. Except from Arthur that was. He just stared blankly at the bed.
"Arthur?" Merlin called his name when he noticed that Arthur hadn't said anything.
"T-two months?"
Merlin nodded, his smile now widening.
"B-but we trained – oh god, what if I have…"
"Arthur, it's okay." Merlin quickly assured. "Hadn't you noticed I had a different stance?"
"Well, yes. I did, but I thought –" Arthur rubbed his forehead.
Merlin got off the bed to get to Arthur. "You have done nothing wrong. I made sure nothing would happen to the baby. To your sibling."
Arthur inhaled sharply, he hadn't even made that connection yet. His hand went towards Merlin's stomach, but he drew it back at the last moment. Merlin chuckled softly. "You can touch, if you want. It's just that there isn't much to feel as of now. That'll take another month or two I think."
Merlin looked at Gaius to confirm. "Maybe even another month." Gaius said, "Every pregnancy is different. Some mothers feel their child move eary while the other mothers feel it later."
"Merlin, may I examine you now? To ensure your and your child's health?" Gaius asked, and Merlin nodded. He then looked around him, silently asking with his eyes for some privacy. Uther noticed immediately and bustled his son and the knight out of the room before swiftly closing it behind him. Merlin then went to lie on the bed and scrunched his top up and let his old guardian examine him.
~oOoOo~
That night, Merlin and Uther were lying in their bed. Merlin had his head on Uther's shoulder and Uther had drawn his arm around him, keeping him close. Merlin had thought about everything that happened that day.
After Gaius was done and had told him that everything went as it was supposed to be, Uther had taken Merlin to a different room and had discussed yet again about the fact that they should inform the people, sooner rather than later. Merlin had finally yielded and said that there was no time like the present and so they immediately sent out some squires to tell the people there will be an announcement made within the hour.
The citadel was laden with people when Merlin and Uther walked onto the balcony overlooking the square and they were greeted with applause. Then Uther had stepped forward and announced the news of the pregnancy. People clapped even harder and were cheering and celebrating and Merlin let out a breath he didn't knew he was holding. He was glad that the people took it well.
Uther also hadn't forgot about his promise and immediately set up groups of personal guards for Merlin that would rotate through the entire day. And as Uther had expected, Arthur had volunteered as well. Uther had told his son that he could be extra surveillance as he had usually other things to attend to during the day, which had made Arthur put on a grumpy face.
It had been a tiring day for Merlin. But he was happy that he could finally let go of the secret and could now enjoy his pregnancy in the fullest. But Kilgharrah's warning never strayed far from his mind.
"What you thinking off, love?" Uther's voice cut through his absent mind and Merlin briefly flicked his eyes up to meet Uther's before snuggling closer to his husband.
"Just about today." He answered curtly. Uther hummed then breathed in deeply.
"Just seven months left." He mumbled. "We need to start the preparations."
Merlin groaned softly. "Not now, enough time left." He looked back up to Uther and saw the calmness and serenity on his face, with a smile playing at his lips. "Why weren't you freaking out when I told you I was with child?" Merlin asked as he traced a pattern with his fingers on Uther's chest.
Uther chuckled. "Oh I was… when I first thought of the possibility about a week ago." He moved his head forward to kiss Merlin on his hair. "But I had time to adjust to it, and now I am just extremely happy."
Merlin nodded on Uther's chest. Sleep was already starting to claim him and he yawned loudly. Uther stroked his fingers gingerly up and down Merlin's arm. "Sleep, love. Tomorrow's another day."