A/N: Yay, i managed to whip this up between last night and this morning so be proud and happy :) This chapter was a bit rough to get into and keep humorous so i hope i didn't disappoint and i apologise for any spelling mistakes, i worked hard just to get this long awaited chapter out for you guys even when i wasn't in the right mood.
Just a suggestion before you read chapter seven which i hope to have out ASAP even i'm looking forwards to writting it, but go and watch LittleKuriboh's abridged version of Naruto but you don't have to watch the entire thing, just watch episode 6 Weeaboo no jutsu. But this is just a suggestion, i just think you'll laugh more if you understand where it's coming from but i'll write it so even if you haven't watched it you'll still understand it.
R&R my lovely fans!
Chapter six
Chasing a cat… Why did that seem familiar? Though now that I think about it, three months have passed by like a flash and I was beginning to get into a groove for this new life. I eventually found my way around the village without a map, found out how much rent is and fell into a routine.
"This is Sasuke, arrived at point B." I said into the radio.
"This is Sakura, arrived at point C." Sakura said over the radio as I nodded across to her and Naruto came to a screeching halt by another tree.
"This is Naruto, arrived at point A." Naruto said as we all peaked around the tree at the brown cat licking itself with a red ribbon on its ear.
"You're slow Naruto… Okay Team 7…" Kakashi began over the radio before the cat perked up and took off. "The target has moved, after it." We moved carefully like Tom Cruise on mission impossible from tree to tree… Somehow Naruto ended up in a tree…
"Okay, he's here." Naruto radioed in… Where was Kakashi? We moved closer to the next trees and hid again like the ninja we are. "Five meters, I'm ready to go."
"I'm ready too." I said.
"Me too." Sakura said.
"Okay… Go!" Kakashi radioed and we all jumped in, Naruto was the quickest and caught the cat around it's middle before it turned around and began to scratch Naruto's face and I laughed quietly as I watched him.
"Does it have a ribbon on its right ear? Is it our target Tora?" Kakashi asked over the radio.
"Yeah… It's Tora, Naruto's busy getting pwned by it at the moment." I said over the radio with a smirk and I heard Kakashi laugh slightly.
"Okay. 'Operation Capture Tora the Lost Pet' complete." Kakashi said as I watched Sakura yank the cat off of Naruto's face where it had its claws in and pulled it animatedly.
"Isn't there a more exciting mission we can work on?!" Naruto yelled over the radio and we all cringed… I could remember Kakashi nearly falling over from the anime.
"Come back to us Kakashi." I said smugly over the radio as he cleared his throat, probably straightening up and getting his hearing back.
"Right, meet me at the training ground's gates and we'll head back to the tower together and get another mission." Kakashi said over the radio. Sakura smiled happily, hugging the cat gently as I reached my hand out to Naruto and pulled him up before following after our teammate.
"You better be there when we arrive Kakashi-sensei." Sakura threatened over the radio sweetly sick with poison… We were having too much fun with them, even I was excited when Kakashi pulled them out of his bag.
"Yeah, yeah. Get a move on, I'm waiting." Kakashi muttered as we all picked up the pace and it was slightly surprising to see Kakashi leaning against the gate and his nose stuck into his book like usual. The walk to the tower was quiet apart from Sakura still trying to ask me out and Naruto avoiding her hitting him for asking her on a date and Kakashi's nose was stuck in his book as I walked with my hands in my pockets.
There was a voluptuous woman standing there with her arms out and her hands opening and closing as Sakura smiled at her and handed the demon cat over as it was squished to her bodacious bosom and you could literally see tears coming from it's eyes… Tears of failure and utter betrayal. After that hell it put us through, it deserves it, I thought with a huff and crossed my arms.
"Ooh my, cute Tora-chan! I was so worried about you!" The woman cooed as she rubbed her cheek against the cat's as it meowed almost in pain… Wow… Naruto laughed, rubbing his head.
"That cat's getting what it deserves." Naruto bragged as he rubbed the back of his head with amusement.
"No wonder he ran away…" Sakura said with sympathy.
"Now then. Kakashi's Team 7's next mission is… Babysitting Yojyu-sama's boy. Grocery shopping at the neighbouring town. Helping dig up potatoes at…" The Hokage began to list off.
"NO!" Naruto yelled, making a big X with his arms. Yes, for me, those next missions were a big no. I hate kids, I don't want to walk far after chasing that stupid cat and digging up spuds… Really? Now I know why Sasuke was pissed off all of the time, life's a bitch! "No thanks to all of those! I want to do a more exciting mission! Choose something else." Naruto said with annoyance and I could see Sakura's right eye twitching slightly and Kakashi a little surprised at his outburst but it seemed he was expecting it eventually.
"Idiot! You're still a novice ninja! Everyone needs to start with the easy missions to gain experience!" Iruka stood up with his hands on the table, yelling at Naruto… Now this was familiar…
"But, but…! We've only been doing dumb missions lately!" Naruto complained before he blanched from Kakashi's knock to his head as he landed awkwardly and face first on the ground.
"Cut it out." Kakashi said sternly, slight irritation to his voice.
"Naruto!" The Hokage scolded as Naruto basically did the worm to sit up and was rubbing the back of his head. "It looks like I need to explain to you what missions are…" Oh god, here we go… I sighed and tuned out, looking out of the window with my hands in my pockets. I knew the whole skedaddle about missions and such and I knew what mission was coming up and if I remember, Naruto got us the mission all by himself. The Hokage continued to talk, something about ranks and missions when it seemed Naruto was still listening… He wasn't suppose to be listening if I remember correctly.
Now… What was it that distracted him… Orange… Super cool ninja techniques… No that wasn't right… Think dammit! Okay, this is Naruto we're talking about here… Oh screw it, I'm not in the mood.
"Hey Naruto, how was that new packet ramen you got yesterday?" I whispered to him and he swivelled on his but and faced us as it seemed Sakura was listening as well, bored of the lecture… Now I remember, Naruto was distracted by ramen, talk about me being a blonde undercover quite literally, I smirked to myself.
"Was it really that bad?" Kakashi asked when Naruto said it smelled like old socks and Naruto's face scrunched up as he nodded.
"Yeah."
"Damn, I bought two packets of those…" Kakashi sighed.
"Yeah so I had a tonkotsu ramen yesterday so I'm going to eat a miso ramen today." Naruto explained as we were all listening to him.
"Listen!" I cringed but I had to bite my lips from laughing but I think Kakashi heard a slight snort escape from me and seemed to smile himself.
"I am sorry." Kakashi said, rubbing the back of his head and Naruto hopped around with a whiny sound, still sitting on the ground.
"You always lecture me like that Ji-chan. But I'm not a kid who used to pull pranks anymore!" Naruto complained before he pouted and turned around again, crossing his arms. I really wanted to pinch his little cute whiskered cheeks, I forgot how utterly cute Naruto was as a twelve year old but I refrained from the pinching! I can always do that later… When he was sleeping… Just because I'm curious… Are those scars or indentations? I can't tell without feeling them…
Kakashi's sigh broke my musing as he rubbed the back of his head like a kid. Iruka was a bit shocked before he smiled and sat down, aw, his little pupil and little brother was growing up! Even the Hokage smiled and chuckled, putting the pipe back into his mouth… He reminded me of Dumbledore from Harry Potter, I found it hard to see him as a big bad ninja, he was a cuddly old and caring grandfather.
"Okay, I understand. If you insist… I will allow you to take a C-rank mission. It's to escort a certain person." The Hokage said and Naruto turned his head with hope.
"Really?! Who, who?!" Naruto asked excitedly as he swivelled around to face the front again. "A Daimyo? Or a princess?" Naruto practically yelled.
"Don't get so hasty. I'll introduce him now… Can you please come in now?" Hiruzen called and I remembered old man Tazuna, any Naruto maniac lover would remember! I even battled to keep a smile off of my face as the door behind us opened and in walked the grey haired man wearing glasses with a tanned skin.
"What? They're all kids!" Tazuna complained as he chugged down his alcohol… Dammit! I'm underage again! Shitballs man! I only just got legal… Not that it stopped me from drinking but dammit, I was legal to walk into bars and order a drink! "Hey, is the smallest one there with the idiotic face really a ninja?" He asked and Naruto was laughing heartily before Sakura and I stepped up to Naruto and he looked between us. Luckily Kakashi moved quick enough and caught Naruto's collar as he stormed like a raged monkey.
"I'm going to kill you!" Naruto growled over and over again.
"Don't kill the man you're suppose to escort, idiot." Kakashi tried to scold him over his ranting, as Tazuna took another gulp of his alcohol.
"I am the bridge building expert Tazuna. Once I have returned to my country, I will have all of you protect my life with yours while I complete the bridge." Well… That's delightful, I don't see why red flags didn't go up with Kakashi as soon as he said this, I mean come on! Stupid perverted lazy bastard.
"Well… aren't you delightful." I deadpanned. I could see Sakura wanting to say something but I was her great Sasuke-kun, she couldn't scold me like that and Naruto had stopped his ranting and actually laughed slightly with his usual goofy grin and Kakashi sighed, rubbing the back of his head again.
"How long Hokage-sama?" Kakashi asked the old man as he looked at the scroll.
"Two weeks at the least. You're all dismissed." Hiruzen said and I sighed with Naruto.
"Go get packed. We'll meet at the gates in a hour." Kakashi said and we nodded and headed out as I looked at my teammates. Naruto still looked like he wanted to kill the man for calling him small, then idiotic then asking if he was a ninja or not… Three out of the four things to piss Naruto off. The last one would have to be insulting Ichiraku Ramen, he'd probably whip out some Kyuubi power right there…
Right so time to get a bit serious while I walk to my humble abode… Our first C-ranked mission. Very important to the series and I think unfortunately Zabuza and Haku will have to die, I can't screw this up for myself and Naruto because here I awaken my sharingan properly and Naruto finds his nindo and we help Nami no Kuni, the Land of Waves… Okay, so first, the Demon brothers attack, supposedly kill Kakashi (serves that bastard right) then I have to protect Naruto with some super special ninja power with my ninja senses, okay… So they're not really a separate part of me anymore, I think I'm slowly learning and they're integrating in with my already full mind… How my brain hasn't exploded I don't know because I still remember my life and now all of Sasuke's so far.
And then… Hm… Naruto, gets hurt, I must remember to call him a scaredy cat, that also helped him I think? Then we go on a boat! Then Zabuza shows up and Kakashi gets trapped in a ball of water! Blah, blah, blah, dramatic scene, Naruto charges in, then I charge in and get pwned… That's going to hurt… Then Naruto gets pwned again and comes up with a plan and hopefully my ninja sense kicks in and helps me because I suck under pressure and yada, yada, yada. Kakashi escapes (DAMN!) and fights Zabuza, Haku shows up, saves Zabuza and takes him away while Kakashi takes nap time…
Yeah, that sums it up for now, I think I have a whole seven days of climbing trees after that to figure the rest out… Gosh, why is it you remember the abridged versions of these shows and not the real action packed serious actual show? Damn you best friends… damn you…
My apartment was empty like usual as I headed to the closet and grabbed my bag as I stood in front of it. Let's see what clothing should I take with. I like that shirt, and that shirt and OOH those pants go with that shirt…
Eventually I ended up with a few blue shirts with the fan at the back and white shorts… Seriously, why white?! Anyway, I packed my bag according to some notes I read from the academy, I had to make sure I was prepared and those D-ranked missions were more like chores I use to do when I was younger anyway, except I have chakra now! Mwahahahaha! And of coarse I packed the essentials like underpants, toiletries and I was packed and put my bag on my back as I looked around.
"Good bye my beautifully comfortable bed, I shall remember thee as I sleep on a cold hard floor!" I called as I walked out and locked up and headed towards the gates.
Kakashi was there with Tazuna and seemed to be talking, of coarse there were more details to missions, it's not just like go and clean a woman's house and suddenly you know magically where she lives and what goes where and what floor cleaner she uses… Yes people, THERE IS MORE DETAIL THAN WHAT WE SEE IN THESE SHOWS!
"You're early." Kakashi commented off hand and I shrugged.
"Well, so are you." I shot back and Kakashi's eyebrow raised.
"Touché Sasuke." He laughed and I pouted at the slight rhyme he had there as I crossed my arms and waited for Naruto and Sakura to arrive… Yay, two full week of having to avoid fights with the dobe and shooting Sakura down… Three months until the chunin exam and she finally grows up slightly but I can think about that later as my other two teammates arrived.
"All right! Let's go!" Naruto shouted overenthusiastically with his arms up and I sighed… Yay, more walking.
"What are you all excited for?" Sakura asked with a pout, crossing he arms as Naruto struck a pirate pose with his hand over his eyebrows and looking everywhere.
"Because, I've never gone out of the village before." Naruto whined playfully as he continued to twitch around and I couldn't help a small smile… Yeah, I was excited when I finally left my country and flew overseas so I really couldn't blame him.
"Hey, will a kid like this really be capable of this mission?" Tazuna pointed and Naruto stopped and you could almost here Naruto wanted to kill him again and Kakashi laughed.
"I, a jonin, will be accompanying you. There's no need to worry." Kakashi said and I raised an eyebrow and held back a scoff… If only he knew I grinned evilly and Sakura looked at me with worry on her face.
"Hey Geezer, don't underestimate ninjas! I'm a great ninja! I'm the elite ninja who will receive the title of Hokage one day. The name is Uzumaki Naruto. Remember it!" Naruto said, pointing at the old man as he took another swing of alcohol… Now he was just teasing me.
"Hokage is the village's number one ninja right? I don't think a guy like you can become one." Tazuna said.
"Shut up! I'm willing to go through any hardship to become a Hokage! If I become Hokage, you'll have to take notice of me!" Naruto yelled at him.
"I won't kid. That is, even if you become Hokage." Tazuna deadpanned and Naruto tried to kill him again as Kakashi grabbed onto his bag to hold him back.
"Naruto, just ignore him and let's go. You're going to have to survive two weeks of this without killing him." I sighed at him with a humoured smile… I forgot that was his original reason to become Hokage but it'll change after this mission as I followed after Tazuna.
"No! No! Let me at least hit him once!" Naruto yelled as Kakashi walked him like a dog pulling the owner along and I smirked back at Kakashi as his eye twitched at me… Yeah that was a bad move.
"Naruto, get off of me!" I yelled at him. Kakashi had let him go right behind me and Naruto rammed straight into the back of me, sending us both face first into the ground
"Naruto! What are you doing to Sasuke-kun!" Sakura screeched as I sighed and just rested my forehead on the dusty ground… I could hear that one eyed bastard laughing from here as he walked just behind Tazuna and Sakura was trying to pull Naruto off of me.
Hooray for muscles! As I lifted Naruto and myself up off of the floor as I was tired of having my face shoved into the dirt every time Naruto fought against Sakura to get up and he fell back onto me. Once I was on my hands and knees, I used my super special awesome stomach muscles to kneel up right and Naruto slid off of my back.
"Watch where you're going next time Usuratonkachi." I said, standing up and dusting myself off, LIKE A BOSS and took quicker than usual steps to catch up to Kakashi while Naruto and Sakura scrambled after me.
"You did that on purpose didn't you?" I growled at Kakashi who just eye smiled. "Bastard."