Chapter 20. "Our future selves call us from infinite pasts, and each night are eroded with our dreams."
Dawn came fast and horrifying. There were screams and moans, people rushing and cursing. Slaves barely keeping up with the warm water and cloths used to help deliver the baby. The healing women came during the night, brought by Helga. As a mother she understood the fear Margarethe felt.
The crippling sensation of not being able to help your child, even if it died.
Kattekat was awake from the early sun rays as the baby was born. A small boy with a mop of brownish hair, too small for a healthy baby but breathing and screaming as any other.
Salves, herbs and chants filled the chamber where Margarethe was giving birth. A sacrificial goat bleed over the entrance, its blood smeared over her and the bed. There were runes scribbled over stones and wood, thrown around the room.
Ubbe stood behind the door anxious. He remembered the sense of relief as he saw the approaching women, dressed in earth tones with long flowy hair, braided with stones and metal rings. He saw their tattooed necks and dark rimmed eyes.
All looked young and full of life, nodding at his presence as they entered the house. A pair of familiar eyes entered the room last. A head nodded and Ubbe grinned widely.
˝Really now?˝- He commented. Something about her made him at ease.
The birth was difficult. Margarethe lost blood and consciousness often. The sheets of the bed were soaked clinging to her but she battled against death. The mention of her son kept her eyes wide and her breath steady.
The women bathed her and applied salves to her limbs and chest, all the time chanting protective spells for motherhood, praying to the gods not to take her.
˝My son...is he well?˝- She whispered to the women. They kept chanting.
˝He is...small but he'll live..˝- A voice said with warmth. Margarethe gasped at the familiar face who winked. ˝You need to rest, you lost so much blood and we need to make it stop so you don't bleed out, would you want to see Ubbe?˝
˝No...˝
˝Your son?˝
˝No..˝
˝Very well.. just hold on˝- Margarethe weakly nodded. Her eyelids fluttered but she kept them open. Llucia nodded at her and held her hands as she breathed shallowly. ˝You have children to annoy, don't stop now..˝- She cooed.
Hvitserk was out of himself, shooting arrows mindlessly in the forest. Behind him Sigurd and Ivar sat on stumps and drunk ale. He huffed and cursed while his arrows hit the nearby tree.
˝You killed that tree soo harrd˝ - Ivar teased. An arrow whizzed by his ear.
Do you need to tease him right now?˝
˝It's not like I've got anything better to do˝- Ivar grinned.
˝No you don't, not even a woman for yourself˝
˝Nope...just my brothers˝- Ivar teased. He lifted his mug and emptied it in one swing. Sigurd gave him a disgusted look.
˝You don't know the fear when your wife is giving birth, one or both could die˝
˝Then why do they do it?˝-
˝The joy of holding your child˝- Hivtserk said. He was walking towards them, empty of arrows.
˝Yours or Ubbes?˝
˝Careful little brother˝
˝Or what? You'll take my woman? Oh no, I don't have one˝- Ivar laughed.
˝You're crazy˝- Sigurd said. He was spoiled by their mother, always special and loved and he turned out to be such a crazy, spoiled shit.
˝What's with the wild eyes?˝
˝Don't you have somewhere else to be?˝
˝Fine, I know when I'm not wanted˝- Ivar pouted. He drained his mug again and pushed his body of the stump onto the dirt.
˝Funny, you never did know that˝ - Sigurd commented.
Ivar turned to him and smiled sheepishly. ˝You know who was mostly loved? Meeee˝ - Laughing he crawled from them to the small path they always used to come to the practice field. He wanted to return to Kattekat and see those healer wives things. His curiosity was getting the best of him.
Soon the image of the forest shifted from trees to chimneys and houses, animals walking and busy people. Merchants were carrying silks and exotic fruits. Ivar stopped at the entrance to Kattekat and grinned. Something was bouncing in his stomach, like a frog trying to escape.
He entered the great hall to silence. A few slaves worked around the tapestries and cooked. None of his brothers were here nor the Queens servants. Disappointed by the silence he dragged himself to the thrones and sat on the nearest.
He sighed contently as his bottom made contact with the soft furs. He closed his eyes and enjoyed the silence.
Someone giggled.
Ivar kept his eyes closed.
Again a giggle, this time closer.
Groaning his eyes opened to a small figure in front of the thrones. A girl with long raven hair and piercing blue eyes giggled again. She had a small button nose and rosy cheeks. Her hands held a shiny purple rock she fidgeted with. She wore a simple dress and fur rimmed boots that looked like toys, so small and laughable.
˝Who are you?˝- Ivar demanded. He narrowed his eyes at the small girl. The girl stared at him. Frustrated he drew a small hunting knife from his leathers and spoke again ˝Who are you?˝- The girl watched the knife move and her mouth made an „o". He noticed a necklace around her small neck.
˝What's on your neck?˝- She grasped the necklace and lifted it. It was a small wooden circle with a rune carved into it. It was a long straight shape with a slanted smaller straight arched to the right from the upper point. ˝ Mother calls it Laguz˝- The girl finally said.
˝And what is under it?˝- Ivar questioned. The strange symbol under the rune was familiar somehow. It looked like a fork with three points.
˝A trident˝
˝Why?˝
˝I am guarded by them, mother says I was born by the water so the water must guard me˝
˝Your mother is strange˝
˝No!˝- The small girl pouted at his comment and stomped her tiny feet. Ivar snickered.
˝Oh she is...I bet she eats lizards˝- The girl shrieked.
˝She doesssn't!˝- The girl came over to him and stood beside him. She stared at his legs which were held together by leather cords.
˝They don't work˝- Her head snapped in his direction and she turned back to them.
˝Maybe you should ask them to work?˝- She suggested. Ivar laughed.
˝I did, they don't listen˝
˝Maybe you should say please˝
˝I did, they still didn't want to˝- He eyed her now close. Her eyes were icy blue with spots of green and grey. ˝How old are you?˝
The child fumbled with her small hand. She dropped her rock onto his lap and showed five fingers using both hands.
˝You have five fingers on one hand, no need to use them both˝
˝Really?˝- Ivar rolled his eyes.
˝Would I lie?˝-She shrugged.
˝Liste-˝
˝IVAR NO! DO NOT HARM HER!˝- A voice screamed. He was hit with icy wind as a figure marched towards him. His eyes moved to the figure. The slender bones and the curves he memorized in his mind came to him. Llucia looked furious and live. Her hair was long, reaching her waist, a mass of raven hair braided carefully. The left side of her neck had been tattooed with something that looked like wines. Her eyes blazed with fire and fury at him.
˝Don't you dare harm her!˝ - She repeated herself as he stared at him. She breathed heavily and he noticed her dress was stained with blood. Was she hurt?
˝MOTHERRRR HE SAYS YOU EAT LIZZARDS!˝- The girl screamed and ran to her. Mother?
˝Ivy come here now!˝- Llucia took the child close to her and shielded her with her arms. The girl smiled at him and stuck her tongue out.
˝Mother? IVY'?!˝- Ivar repeated slowly. He stared at Llucia's face changing from fury to something else. Challenge? - ˝So you had another men?˝- He grinned maliciously. So that's why he didn't learn nothing about her. Fucker another. Figures. So he was right in the end.
˝What did he do to you?˝- She asked the girl.
˝Nothing! Do you take me for a monster whore?˝
˝WHAT DID YOU CALL ME? DON'T YOU DARE SAY SUCH VILE THINGS IN FRONT OF MY DAUGHTER˝- Llucia snapped back. She looked dangerous. Ivar was appalled and surprised at the same time. He smiled slowly.
˝Why? So who's djottir is she?˝- He leaned back and watched Llucia's face change. She turned from rage and fury to confusion and then to something else which she tried to hide. Her body fidgeted and her hands held Ivy close to her, afraid the child was going to slip from her grasp.
Ivy was looking at Ivar with her big eyes. She forgot her rock in his lap. He glanced at the shiny rock on his leathers. It was filled with various hues of purple, white and pink, like a gem. He picked it up and nudged his head towards her. Ivy bit her lower lip and slipped from Llucia's grasp.
She walked to him and took the rock from his hands. He observed how small they were in contrast to his. ˝Thank you˝- She bowed her head politely. Ivar's hand reached her small chin. ˝Look at me˝- Ivy's eyes were on his. He felt the intensity of her gaze and the curiosity trying to escape.
˝Who's your father Ivy?˝- As he said her name her eyes went wider, as if that was physically possible at this point they were two marbles in her head. She shook her head.
˝Ivar let her go˝
˝Tell me who the father is Llucia, if this child is five years old˝- He turned his head to the woman he once loved and saw a sorrowful face. A tear escaped her. Llucia continued to stare at him.
˝SHE'S ALIVE AND I HAVE A SON!˝- Ubbe bursted into the great hall. He carried a small bundle that was screaming in his arms. ˝Llucia thank you! You and the other volur saved her. She would have bleed to death if there wasn't for you˝
Llucia turned her head and nodded ˝ He is small for his age and he'll need lots of care but he is healthy, take care of your son.˝- She was greeted by a huge smile and she smiled back.
˝Why do you cry?˝- He noticed a small girl next to Ivar and cursed. ˝Don't hurt the child Ivar, she's not yours˝
˝Actually she is˝- Ivar put his hand on Ivy's head and ruffled her hair. ˝Say hello to my daughter Ivy˝- Ivar said with a ass eating grin. Ivy looked confused and delighted at the same time.
˝She is...˝- Llucia confirmed. ˝Ivar if you hurt her in any way I will end you, I will tear you to pieces˝- Her voice was a growl. Her red and puffy eyes still filled with the fire he learned to love so much.
˝Why would I? She's mine. My djottir˝- His voice cracked a bit. Llucia walked to him and kneeled next to her daughter. Ivy turned to her and smiled.
˝I have a fatherrr˝- She grinned.
˝Yes my little goblin, you do˝
˝Goblin!?˝
˝It's the nickname of a little troublemaker˝
˝So she's after me?˝- Ivar's face was illuminated. She never seen him like this. Swallowing tears she nodded. ˝Ivy shall be your name and you are my djottir, hereby under all the Gods to hear I acknowledge you as my daughter˝- Ubbe whistled.
˝I think I get the Seer now˝- He chuckled with his own son in his hands.
˝Now we only have one thing to settle˝- Ivar looked at Llucia next to him cradling his daughter. ˝I told you I won't hurt her˝
˝You said the same thing for me and we all know how that ended˝
˝Why didn't you say anything?˝
˝Would you even have believed me?˝- Llucia's voice filled with bitterness.
˝Yes˝- Ivar answered immediately. He stared at her intensely. ˝I did learn to love you˝- Her cheeks reddened at his comment.
˝It's true, the only things this idiot did were drink, look at the fire and battle˝- Ubbe chimmed in. He walked out of the hall. On the entrance he added ˝Stop being stupid both of you˝
˝Back then I did talk but you didn't listen and I felt that you had already cast me away˝- Llucia's voice was filled with hurt. Remembering the way he heart shattered into thousand pieces that day.
˝Why didn't you fight back more? I came back to my home ransacked, Lagertha nowhere to be seen and you talking to the enemy. You were the only one unharmed.˝
˝I told them I was pregnant so they spared me˝- She whispered. Ivar cursed. - ˝I saw my Goddess in the fire that day, she looked at me in warning but I didn't let that take away my happiness, instead I walked to Kattekat happy until I saw the battle and then I choked. The words of prayer came easily. I didn't even realize I was saying about the child when it came out. It only became truth weeks later˝
˝So you can't forgive me?˝- Ivar's voice was hard.
˝Father?˝
˝What did you call me?˝
˝You are her father Ivar, you said it yourself so a few moments ago˝- Llucia sighed. She looked sad and defeated.
˝Father do we stay with you now? Please can we stay?˝- The girl moved from her mother to Ivar, reaching up to his lap and hugging his neck close. Ivar's eyes blurred with tears.
˝I didn't have the chance to grow up with my father but you will. I promise˝- She put a hand on her small back and felt her arms tighten around his neck. He turned to Llucia.
˝If you let me I'd learn your trust again, like we did before….˝
˝I was forced before˝
˝You could have gone back when you were in Hedeby, to that empire of yours˝
˝Bjorn once asked me why I didn't and I told him what I'll tell anyone. I was sold and my land was here now. I have a daughter and my heart is here, no matter how much it pains me˝
˝Remember the day we spent talking about special salves for wounds of the different kind˝
˝Yes….by the hot springs˝
˝Yes, I brought you there to warm your ass up, you hated the winter and the snow.˝
˝I remember˝
˝And do you remember what you said to me when I talked about wounds of the heart and the only cure?˝- His eyes were on here the whole time, burning with intent. Llucia nodded.
˝Time. Time heals such wounds˝
˝Only if you let it heal˝- Llucia stared at him. His eyes didn't show malice this time, only sincerity in his words. ˝I can't promise my best when I know I'll be at my worst sometimes but I can heal you, like you did….for me˝- Llucia drew a shaky breath in.
˝Small steps Ivar, small steps.˝
˝So you'll stay˝
˝This one˝- She motioned to Ivy still hugging Ivar's neck for dear life. ˝won't let me, now that she knows you˝
˝She'll be my little princess and the strongest and smartest of them˝- He said with pride. Llucia laughed.
˝Let her play and grow up first.˝
˝First the tales of the gods˝
˝Both gods, mine and yours˝
˝And archery˝
˝And herbs˝
˝And axe throwing˝
˝And braiding and knitting˝
˝She's mine. My daughter˝- Ivar sighed. He held the smaller body close to him.
˝Our daughter Ivar˝- Llucia added. Her eyes burned with unshead tears. ˝Our little fire˝
A/n: Didn't the initial tag say FLUFF? So yeah I stayed true to that and plus ISN'T IT STINKINGLY ADORABLE TO IMAGINE IVAR WITH A DAUGHTER? I can already see him as the competitive father who wants his little princess to be better than the children of his brothers and teaching her stuff and just aAADLSKJHSČLHFDXHFA
I'm aware some of you were expecting something else from the story and I'm sorry I haven't met your expectations and wishes but I did plan this out and in the end it is my story. I hope the past chapters were enjoyable and that my spelling and grammar mistakes weren't too much to handle. Until we meet in another story, thank you so much for your reviews and support on this story 3
The last snippet :
** Thunder nights**
A stormy night came upon Kattekat. The clouds were heavy and dark, filled with rain. The sky rumbled with the promise of thunder. Ivar lied in his bed, half asleep when something crawled on top of him. A head appeared under the covers. Messy, dark hair and a pair of mismatched teeth.
˝Father!˝
˝Go to sleep Ivy˝
˝But I can't the sky is angry˝
˝No it's not, go to sleep.˝
˝When is Mother coming back?˝
˝Soon, she'll be back from Hedeby in a day or two. Go to your room˝
˝But it's cold there and I'm alone˝- Thunder cracked in the sky illuminating the room for a few moments. Ivy's eyes were large and afraid.
˝You have your toys˝
˝Can I stay here?˝- Ivy pleaded. Her lower lip quivered and she batted her eyelashes. Ivar discovered there wasn't much he wouldn't do when his daughter asked.
˝Fine, get over here˝- Ivy squealed in delight and nestled under his neck, sprawling her smaller body over his chest. Ivar's arm circled her smaller waist and he hummed. It was an old melody his mother used to sing when his legs ached, now he hummed it for his daughter to lull her to sleep.
THE END