Chaptar Summary: Winter season has just arrived and the mall is flooded with people shopping for presents. Holiday music fills the entire mall, causing our lovely heroes the worst time of their life. What's even worse is that Kyoya's annoying nuisance other half Angel Gingka sees them drinking their Capri-Sun and freaks out, telling both Lady Palutena and her new boyfriend Santa Claus. When they land on the naughty list, the Hot Topic Krew ain't happy. Miranda then launches the best plan ever, one that will forever take down Santa himself... permanently.
A/N: I know the holidays are over and everything but I still want to share this beautiful Kristmas special with you all. In today's episode, the Hot Topic Krew come face to face with the evil Santa Claus! Will they be able to take him down or forever have to bear the horrible upbeat, joyful holiday of the winter season.
Kyoya frowned as cheerful Christmas music blared throughout the mall. Great, just what he needed was a crummy, lighthearted and full of cheesy Christmas specials such as Grandma Got Ran Over By B Reindeer. Oh, how he loathed that movie! The Smash Blade Manor played it every year, almost every single day as the children loved it to death.
Kenta wouldn't stop singing "Grandpa's Gonna Sue the Pants Off Of Santa" with Popo and Nana as they did the dance from The Breakfast Club. Nile couldn't believe he used to be friends with those nerds, like seriously why did he ever thought they were cool when in reality, they were the worst people to ever walk the earth.
The most wonderful time of the year started playing as Kyoya covered his ears. Luckily, his Krew came to save him as they have brought the goods. Doji, the forgotten member, had a cooler full of the greatest drink in the world.
"Dude, did you bring… the goods?" whispered Damian. It was like the crack of the Goth world.
"Course. Wouldn't be goods without it," replied Doji.
He opened the cooler, revealing Capri-sun as the mall Goths stared in awe, pleased over the collection.
There were many flavors from fruit punch, strawberry kiwi to even the glorious wild cherry! Everyone grabbed their magical juice pouch as they began drinking it like if it was the last thing on earth.
"Mmmm, yeah that's the stuff… yeah!" moaned Kyoya. Ryuga just gave him a look.
"What the hell are you doing? Its juice for crying out loud." said the asshole L-Drago blader.
"It's not just juice, its fucking Capri-sun," Miranda retorted, drinking a fourth one. Ryuga rolled his eyes.
"Like you need another one woman. Take it easy on that stuff, it can do you wonders," warned the L-Drago blader. Before he returned to Smash Blade to take more lives, he was a physics teacher at Harvard.
Angel Gingka couldn't help but be nosy wondering what Kyoya and his friends were doing. He was told by Nile's father to keep an eye on his son especially since he couldn't trust that damn dark edgy McEmolord. The angel flocked over, with his annoying self.
"WATCHA DOING?!" he yelled joyfully.
"Gah! Fuck off Gingka-stain!" snapped Kyoya.
Angel Gingka gave him a look before gasping. Was that what he thinks it was?! Oh no, he must save the before they go on the naughty list for life.
"NOOOO KYOYO! DON'T DRINK CAPRI-SUN! IT'S ILLEGAL!"
"Nobody cares," said Doji. The other mall Goths mocked the angel as Gingka sighed.
"I'm telling lady Palutena and her new boyfriend Santa on u." Angel Gingka went off as they laugh thinking he's just making stuff up. However, Nile had a gut feeling.
Later on, there was the display of the nice and naughty list. Everyone to include Wario was nice this year while Kyoya and his friends were on the naughty list. Kyoya clenched his fists in anger wondering who the hell could have done such a thing.
"That damn angel sure really showed us," said Damian.
"Shut up! I don't need to hear it again," snapped Kyoya. He was angry, he wanted to scream but instead, he kept it to himself. "Crawling in My Skin" by Linkin Park started to play as if to mock them.
"AUGH! FAKE EMO MUSIC! RUN AWAY!" yelled Doji. Everyone did so.
However, Miranda had a plan. After all, she was the tactician because no one else wanted the job and everyone else wanted to kill. Doji was just a wolf so he can do whatever his instincts told them as he howled at full moons.
"Hey failures, tonight we kill Santa Claus. He is a nuisance to this world and must be obliterated at all costs," said the dark sorceress.
Everyone nodded in agreement. At night, Nile tried his best to sneak out of the house but to no avail, his father Aguma caught him.
"Where are you going Nile? Its Christmas eve you should be in bed before Santa comes," said the beefy mercenary.
"Father, i need to get something real quick. Mother said i can," he replied.
"No, it's that damn angel again isn't it. You shouldn't be seeing him he is a bad influence on you," barked Aguma.
"But dad I love him."
Nile ran out, causing Aguma to sigh before getting his hot cocoa.
They met up at the Temple of Souls as it was the most gothic place ever, minus the paintings and statues of Link. She even recently obtained a Lonk statue just for the hell of it. Ryuga found the place to be beautiful yet her Link collection ruined it. She summoned Dark Links as they served them delicious Capri-sun, hell she even had a Capri-sun pool and a Capri-sun fountain.
"Now, Santa's going to be stopping by a house not too far from there. We ambush his sleigh and when he starts to fly, we kill him."
"FOR HOT TOPIC!" everyone shouted.
Santa was making his trips delivering toys to all the various denizens of the world. As he began to mush Rudolph to fly, it started playing some hardcore Rammstein as it was singing in German metal.
"Ho, ho, HOE!" Santa screamed as the evil mall Goths rose from the toy bag.
"Hello Santa. Surprised to see us?" mocked Kyoya. They all had a weapon of some sorts while Ryuga killed Rudolph.
"Oops didn't need that." said Doji as he howled at the moon. He looked at Santa, boy he looked tasty.
Nile griped Santa as Damian started to punch him. The sleigh was going all kinds of directions as it was now in front of Smash Blade Manor.
Toon Link looked out the window, as he wanted to show Link and Zelda that he saw Santa. To their dismay, the sleigh was out of control as the princess gasped.
"What is going on?!" she said. Toon link cried since he was worried for Santa as Angel Gingka woke up and frowned.
"Dang it Kyoyo! He's trying to kill Santa Claus." said the angel. The winged redhead went to use Palutena's flight but it was too late.
The sleigh crashed down as Doji ate Santa while the mall Goths rejoiced. No more Christmas as everyone cried while some wanted to kill Nile and Kyoyo even though this was all Miranda's fault.
Everyone got their presents at least, even though Palutena cried because her boyfriend was dead. Angel Gingka sighed, comforting his goddess while confiscating all the Capri-sun in the mansion. This caused more cries as some kid smashers got mad since they liked that stuff.
And that's the Christmas tale of how the Goths conquered Santa.