Rose stood in her room, staring at her reflection. She had to admit that she looked great. She wore a yellow floral fit and flare dress and her red hair was pulled up into an intricate bun. She wore pink lip gloss and a dusting of pink blush on her cheeks. Jack would have thought her gorgeous. But she wasn't dressing for Jack. Not this night. Not that she was dressing for Matthew, but she still wanted to look good.
She sighed, spotting a picture of herself and Jack during happier times. It was a picture of them during the Venice Beach weekend. They had been so happy. To her, there had been no other guy, but Jack and she had believed him incapable of hurting her.
How wrong she had been. He had hurt her more than anyone had, because she had loved him so much, much more than she had ever loved anyone.
Annoyed, she walked over to the picture and laid it face down so she wouldn't have to look at it anymore. It hurt to look at it and remember how happy they had been. How she felt she'll never be that happy again. Besides, tonight she was meeting with Matthew. She did not want to think about Jack and his bright smile beautiful eyes and soft as silk hair or how his arms felt around her.
"Ugh, stop it Rose. Forget him," She sighed, annoyed with herself.
"Rose! Madeline is here!" her mother called up, sounding as pleased as punch. Of course she would be. She liked Madeline and missed seeing the girl around. She couldn't help but be happy that Rose was spending time with her again.
"Coming mother!" Rose called down, slipping on her yellow flats that she had brought especially for the dress and ran downstairs to find Madeline at the door with her mother smiling brightly.
"I do hope that you two have a wonderful time. Maybe you can come to dinner soon, Madeline. It'd be such a pleasure to visit with you again, dear."
"I'd love that, Mrs. Dewitt Bukater," Madeline forced a smile, knowing that she probably wouldn't. Tonight was an one time only thing. The friendship between herself and Rose was pretty much over. She was only here now because Rose had been invited to a party.
"We better get going," Rose walked out the door, not wanting her mother to get any more giddy ideas.
"Have fun you two!" Ruth waved, happy that her daughter was hanging out with a member of her old crowd.
...
The frat house was a square two story building with greek letters hanging above the door. Right now loud music was blasting out into the night and it was full of people, with a few walking around outside. By the looks of it, the party was fully underway.
"Are you sure it's okay to be here?!" Rose questioned, yelling over the music as she and Madeline walked towards the building.
"Of course I'm sure! We both were invited! I'm going to go look for George. Matthew is around here somewhere! If I don't find you by three, I'm going to assume that Matt took you home!" Madeline waved, heading into the crowded house.
Great. Just great. She was here at a frat party, left alone. What was she to do now? Wander around and hope to run into Matthew? Tonight was already off to a great start.
Feeling in over her head, Rose entered the building and found the atmosphere completely overwhelming. It was nothing like Tommy's parties. Tommy's parties were more relaxed and friendly. She felt comfortable there. Here, in the frat house, everything was loud and intense. The frat house was full of college students, both men and women. The loud rock music pulsated through the house. Alcohol was flowing and she could barely move around the dancing bodies.
It was a nightmare. She wondered why she had even came. Was it really to see Matthew, or was it to somehow get even with Jack? Thinking about it now, she didn't really know the answer to that.
"Watch it!" A girl with spiked purple hair growled as she collided into Rose, nearly spilling her drink.
"Sorry," Rose winced. Yeah. She was definitely out of place here. It was a mistake to come. She should just go home, or go to Tommy's party. She didn't have to talk to Jack. She sighed and was turning around to leave when she walked into a chest belonging to no other than her former boyfriend, Matthew Calvert.
"Rose?" Matthew stared, his lips curving into a pleased smile.
He looked the same as the last time she had seen him. He was tall with black hair, brown eyes, and defined cheekbones. He had what some would say was a baby face. Rose admitted to herself that when it came to boyfriends, she tended to pick rather pretty ones. Cal had been the exception with his broad, handsome features.
"Matthew," She smiled, feeling relieved to have found him.
"You came after all. Maddie said that you two were no longer friends and that she doubted that she could get you to come."
"Well she wasn't lying. We're not friends anymore, but when she told me that you had asked to meet with me, I just couldn't say no," Rose smiled, hoping that he wouldn't ask what had happened. What had happened with Cal no longer gave her nightmares, but it wasn't her favorite subject to talk about. Plus she would then have to talk about Jack, and right now it hurt to even think of him, because when she did think of him...she began to miss him.
"Well, I'm glad that you came. Now we can catch up on what's been going on in each others lives," Matthew grinned, his brown eyes just as warm and inviting as she remembered them. Looking into them, she could almost forget about the blue of Jack's eyes and how they made her feel. "Are you thirsty? Shall I get you something to drink or eat?"
Rose paused for a minute. She wasn't really one to drink alcohol, but with the loud music and the crowded room, plus trying not to think about her recently estranged boyfriend, a drink couldn't hurt. "Sure. I'd like that. Nothing too strong though..."
"Oh of course not. You can trust me," Matthew winked, disappearing into the crowd, leaving Rose standing there, feeling even more out of place.
What was she doing? Coming here and spending time with her ex, when she already had a relationship to work on? Why was she here? Especially when all she can do is think about Jack and compare every guy, even Matthew, to him? It was driving her crazy!
She stood there, watching couples dance, make out, and go in search of somewhere more private to be. She wondered what it'd be like if Jack was here with her. How it would have been if he had never lied to her. Would they be one of the couples searching for a private place to be with each other? Or would they remain on the dance floor, lost in each others arms? Or perhaps they wouldn't be here at all. After all, tonight was one of Tommy's party nights. She knew that Jack was probably there now, trying not to think of her, just like she was struggling not to think of him.
"Here you go. I got you a sex on the beach," Matthew grinned, carrying a glass full with a red liquid. "John, our bartender, they're his specialty."
"A sex on the beach?" Rose gave him a strange look.
Matthew laughed. "Forget the name and try it. I guarantee that you'll love it."
Rose looked at him one last time and took a sip of the drink. Her eyes widened as the strong flavor of peach mixed with cranberry juice, with a kick from the alcohol filled her mouth. It was delicious! It suited the name perfectly.
"Good, huh?" Matthew grinned.
"It's delicious," Rose giggled, taking another sip. She felt herself begin to relax a little as the alcohol took effect. "I love it. I think this is my favorite alcoholic drink."
Matthew chuckled. "I knew you'd love it."
Rose couldn't help but smile at him. He wasn't Jack, but he was still extremely handsome and talking to him made her feel special. Something she hadn't felt in over a week. Jack used to make her feel special. But that had been before he had lied to her.
"Come on. We'll go outside, where we can have more privacy and can catch up in peace," Matthew took her hand and lead her back through the crowd, towards the back door.
Rose kept a tight hold of his hand as they maneuvered their way through the crowd, being careful not to step or to bump into anyone. Finally, they reached the back door and Matthew pulled her back out into the night air where very few people were milling about, looking up at the sky, where only the large full moon was visible.
"Come, we can sit here," Matthew pulled her over to an abandoned porch swing. They both sat down in silence, with Rose silently sipping her drink. She searched her brain for some way to start a conversation. Right now, things just felt awkward. Which was strange, because back when they were together, there was never an awkward moment. Kind of like with Jack, when everything had been so relaxed and easy...up until recently anyway.
"So how long have you been back?" She asked, deciding to go ahead and start up the conversation, not able to stand the silence anymore.
"Oh since the term began. I wanted to get in touch with you, but things were so busy with moving and everything and then I heard that White Star closed..."
"Yeah, it's been crazy getting used to a new school," Rose chuckled, giving him a wry smile. "I'm not mad at you. I've been pretty busy myself. Plus, I've been in a pretty serious relationship..."
"Yeah. Maddie told me that you were seeing someone," Matthew chuckled. He looked at her almost shyly. "Is he deserving of you?"
Rose blushed and shrugged. "He's...well right now he's in the dog house so..."
"Ah, I see. That's why you're here with me, huh? A little revenge?"
She didn't know how to respond to that. Was this revenge? Would Jack even care if he knew that she was here with a former boyfriend?
"Well...no. Not really. I mean, we were friends before we were anything else. I'm just here visiting with an old friend that's back in town. Nothing is wrong with that," But wasn't that what Jack was doing? Visiting with an old flame?
Yes, that was what he was doing. But he had lied to her about it. If he had just been honest, it wouldn't have been a problem. Would it? Was Jack right to keep it from her?
No. No he wasn't. She trusted him enough not to be upset or suspicious. He should have trusted in her...in their relationship. It hurt that he didn't.
"So he knows that you're here?" Matthew continued, unaware of Rose's inner conflict.
"No. We're kind of not talking right now. You know how I hate when people lie to me, right?"
"Do I? I still remember our arguments when I made that mistake...oh. So he lied to you about something, huh?"
Rose looked at him, feeling a little annoyed. He was like Jack. Always able to read her...or at least Jack used to be able to. If he could read her, he should have known that he had no reason to lie. "Yes. He did. And I don't want to talk about it or him. I'm tired of thinking about him and...ugh. He's annoying!"
Matthew just laughed. "Well, tonight his loss is my gain."
"He wouldn't have been bothered anyway. Jack's not the jealous type. He's so laid back and confident, everything that I'm not. And he's...I'm sorry. I said that I didn't want to think about him and here I am talking about him."
"It's okay. It's obvious that he's made quite an impression on you."
"You have no idea," Rose sighed, looking at her hands, thinking of all that Jack had seen her through. How he had been her rock for the past several months. How he had made something scary into something beautiful and special.
"Jack, huh? Funny. I heard a rumor that you were dating that awful Caledon Hockley. Glad to find that wasn't true."
Rose sighed. She should have known Cal would come up. "Sadly, that wasn't just a rumor. That was one mistake that I ended up deeply regretting. But it was only a few months mistake...and then Jack came and Cal was just a bad memory."
"I have the impression that you're not eager to talk about that bad memory."
"I'm not. I just want to move on with my life and forget that he ever happened."
"I'm sorry that you had such a lapse in taste," Matthew frowned. He had heard things about Caledon Hockley. Disturbing things. He didn't even want to think of that boy with Rose. He was tempted to ask if he had been violent or inappropriate with her, but he sensed that she didn't want to talk about Caledon, so he quickly dropped it. If she wanted to talk about him, she would.
"Believe me, no one was as sorry as I," Rose sighed, staring into her almost empty cup. She couldn't believe how delicious her drink was. "Can I have another one of these?"
Matthew laughed. "Of course. I'll be right back."
He was only gone for about five minutes, and in that time, Rose allowed her mind to wonder to Jack. What was he doing right now? Was he dancing with Meghan? Talking with her? Or was he thinking about his lonely girlfriend? Why didn't he tell the truth? Why didn't he trust her faith in him? Did she seem like the jealous type? Had she somehow came off as possessive?
She sniffed and rubbed her eyes, hating herself. She was here at a frat party with a handsome guy that liked her, and all she could think about was how much she missed Jack. God, she couldn't even hate him for that fact alone. God, what had he done to her? He had completely ruined her for any other boy, that was for sure. Once you loved Jack Dawson, there was obviously no loving anyone else!
"Here you go. I brought you two of them this time since you like them so much," Matthew chuckled. "I figured that since you weren't driving, it's safe."
Rose just smiled her thanks and accepted one of the drinks, hoping that he didn't notice how down she felt right now. She sighed and gulped down the drink in a few swallows and then took the other one, this time sipping on it slowly.
"So...what have you been up to with you life since we broke up?" She asked, wanting to steer the conversation away from herself.
"Oh just studying. I tried dating a few times, but none of the girls interested me, so I just concentrated on the books."
"Matthew, what a waste. You're so pretty, you should have a girlfriend," Rose hiccuped. "Or a boyfriend...whichever floats your boat."
He just laughed, his eyes twinkling with amusement. "I definitely like girls, Rose. No question about that. I guess the girl I want to get with...she has to live up to the shadow of my last girlfriend."
"Your last girlfriend?"
"Yeah. I'm afraid that she'll have some pretty big shoes to fill. She has to be intelligent. Poised. Elegant. A real lady, just like my former girl."
"If you liked this girl so much, why did you break up with her?" Rose asked, curious, not even thinking that he could be talking about her. She had never thought of herself as anything near what he had described.
"Oh because I moved away and didn't want to tie her down."
Rose's eyes widened at the realization. "You were talking about..."
"Letting you go was the biggest mistake I've ever made, Rose. I should have tried to keep us going, just like you wanted to."
Rose sighed, completely taken off guard. "I don't know what to say. I mean...back then, I had loved you so much. You were my first love and when you left...I thought that I'd never feel anything like that again...not with anyone."
"I felt the same way..."
Rose felt frustrated and angry. Angry at him. At Jack. At men in general. Men who seemed determined to play with her emotions. "You broke my heart."
"I know. I'm sorry."
"Hmph. That's what you all say. All you pretty boys with your pretty eyes and pretty smile. You make me love you and then you do things to break my heart and expect it all to be okay later. Well, it's not okay. It's not okay at all..."
"Rose..."
"You're just so..."
Her words were cut off when she felt a pair of warm lips gently press against hers. They were soft, firm, familiar. They tasted of alcohol and mint tooth paste and they made her feel like the Rose that once was. The pre-Cal Rose. The Rose that had gone to White Star Academy and was everything that a well brought up rich girl should be. She sighed and closed her eyes, returning the kiss, allowing the old feelings to return. Allowing the old Rose to return for just one moment, but when the kiss ended, when he pulled away, the old Rose was gone and the post-Cal Rose returned and she only had one name on her lips after a kiss like that.
"Jack...," She sighed, her eyes closed, forgetting for a second where she was and with who.
"Ouch," Matthew winced. He didn't know what he had been expecting by kissing her like that, but it certainly hadn't been that.
She opened her eyes and her breath caught in her throat as reality crashed down upon her. She hadn't been with Jack, even though something in her had been crying out for him for the past week. What was she doing? Coming here to talk to another guy when she should be fixing things with the one she couldn't seem to live without. "I...I'm sorry...I..."
"Moved on, obviously. I guess I just got my answer to can I have another chance," was Matthew's dry reply. "I can't be mad. I should have expected it."
"It's just that...well...I'm not the same Rose I used to be, Matt. I mean...I'm not even friends with Madeline anymore and we definitely don't run in the same circles at this point. I just came because...well I wanted to see an old friend again and...well maybe on some level it was revenge on Jack for hurting me. But...I'm not the same girl that you fell in love with. I've changed and I don't even know if you'd like the girl I've changed into. I just know that what we had...it's over and I'm in love with someone else now."
"Is he good to you?"
Rose smiled. "He's wonderful. I had just gone through some dark times and he's been the one bright thing through all of it. I love him and...it's obvious now that I can't just let him go. Not like this."
"I understand. It hurts to know, but I understand. Can we at least remain friends?"
Rose smiled. "Of course. There's no rules saying we can't."
"Friends is better anyway. Less chance of breaking any hearts."
Rose just smiled and got to her feet. "I better go. This frat party is really not my kind of thing..."
Matthew stood up with her, hating the turn of events, but accepting them all the same. What else could he do? The girl had moved on. "May I drop you off somewhere?"
Rose paused, thinking. The night was still young. She was a little tipsy...and she desperately wanted to see Jack. To talk to him...maybe even forgive him...that is if he could forgive her. After all, she had come here tonight to meet with another guy. He certainly wouldn't be happy about that. But she wouldn't lie about it. That would make her a hypocrite.
"Can you take me somewhere? Not home, but to a friend's house?"
"Sure," Matthew sadly smiled, knowing that this was the end of the evening for him. He had tried to woo an old girlfriend and failed. It was time to move on. "My car is right out back."
Ten minutes later, Rose was standing outside Tommy's house. The party was in full swing by the sound of it. But unlike the frat house, she felt comfortable and safe here. Calm. Or rather as calm as she was ever going to be tonight.
She wasn't there to party though. She was there to talk to one person only. The only person that could make her feel like the girl she had grown to be in the past several months. She didn't know what she was going to say, she just needed to see him, as soon as possible.