A/N: OMG I actually freaking did it! Finally posted the new chapter, it was so hard guys ToT!
Anyway, it is a mostly filler chapter but it was fun and I'm not going to drag it out too much but you'll understand what I mean towards the end, I shall start thinking of the next chapter soon
I really hope you guys enjoy it and the first part of the chapter is dedicated to HowShallWeDuel?IChooseNARWALES! it is a running joke between us and she leaves a hand print every time mwah, love you bestie i hope you enjoy (Lol i sound like a twelve year old girl... which i am not, i am mature okay, i blame my job as an aftercare teacher for 6-10 year olds)
Chapter eleven
A ceiling...
Wasn't I supposed to wake up on the bridge with Sakura crying over me... Wait, scratch that, she definitely did that by the wet patch in the middle of my shirt, it was cold and sticking to my skin.
"You lied Sasuke."
"Wha... What are you on about Kakashi?" I asked, trying to sit up... Pain, pain, lie back down, take the offered help from Kakashi.
"Take it easy, you got pretty hurt out there Sasuke... As I was saying, you lied about the banana cream pie." Kakashi eye smiled and I rolled my eyes with a smile, it was nearly the only thing that didn't hurt right then.
"I should have woken up on the bridge with Sakura crying all over me..." I mumbled but Kakashi's sharp eye was on me as I took a deep breath with wide eyes. "I mean um, I can see she probably was crying all over me on the bridge."
"Are you wet Sasuke?" Kakashi asked with an eye smile and I scowled slightly. "Those aren't necessarily Sakura's tears..."
"SENSEI! Ah!"
"I told you to relax." Kakashi said, pushing me back down on the sleeping bag I was currently huddled in but there was an amused smugness to the man... He was going to pay dearly... "But then again... I don't think you lied about the cream pie... maybe just the banana part unless there's something about Sakura we don't know about."
"Honestly Kakashi... I don't think a guy could get their voice to squeal that high." I added and Kakashi couldn't hold back his laughter this time as I smiled... Okay, that didn't hurt either at least.
"So... Naruto told me you awakened your sharingan on the bridge." Kakashi said.
"Well... reawakened. I remember, the night of my clan's massacre..." That left a sour taste in my mouth as I swallowed, staring at the ceiling. "The trauma had caused my sharingan to appear momentarily but I passed out to the um, trauma and low chakra I guess."
"You must be chuffed."
"Yeah... It's just another thing connecting me to all of this." I sighed, suddenly feeling a bit down, maybe I was starting to feel a little home sick? 'No, the great Uchiha Sasuke doesn't get home sick!' But I'm not really Uchiha Sasuke... dammit, why is this so confusing?! "I'd like to rest a little more... And don't tell Sakura I'm awake or I'll never get any rest." I asked.
"Oh, you don't want any more cream pie at least?"
"Kakashi... I'm going to kill you one day." I said with my best 'Uchiha glare' as Kakashi got up, chuckling like an old man.
"In your dreams cream boy."
"Argh!"
XXXXXXXXXXXX
"I don't suggest we leave the sword here." I said, staring at Zabuza and Haku's graves.
"But it belongs to Zabuza, we should leave it here!" Naruto argued back and I sighed, it was too early for this, I don't do mornings and now we have a long day ahead of us across this stupid finished bridge back to Konoha... yay...
"Okay, I'm going to hypothetically ask you this." I began as Naruto listened intently with smugness and Sakura seemed interested as well. "Let's just say hypothetically I turn evil." I began as Naruto's jaw dropped and Sakura gasped, holding her hands to her shocked mouth. "Okay, I decided to create this really odd mismatched team of misfits that had this really odd guy who turns into water and has sharp teeth that wants this sword only to find out it had gone walk abouts by some guy that had thousands of guards and I couldn't hurt a single one too badly... That's effort, it would be easier to take it with us."
"Sasuke, that is totally unrealistic." Kakashi deadpanned as we all turned to our 'fearless' leader. "There's no way someone like you could ever lead a team successfully, yet alone a team of misfits..."
"I'm gonna kill you old man!"
"Catch me if you can cream boy who coincidentally likes bananas too!" Kakashi disappeared in a puff of smoke as I chased after him with a fuming red face from the comment made, who knows if Naruto and Sakura followed after us.
XXXXXXXXXXX
Bed.
Bed. Bed. Bed. Bed. Bed. Bed. Bed! You never know how much you miss something until you don't have it for a long time and gain it back, I got those incredibly satisfying shivers as I climbed into bed for the first time in weeks and snuggled down. Okay, part one complete!
So, Naruto finally has his ninja way, I have the sharingan, Sakura is still annoying as ever and Kakashi... well he better keep running from me for a veeeery long time. That long bastard is fast... Gasp! What if Kakashi is slender man?! No... No. Stop thinking of slender man, especially in your room... alone... at night... HE DOESN'T NEED NINJA POWERS TOO!
Okay, Kakashi is Kakashi, NO ONE ELSE! Right, so next plan...
Chunin exams are in less than three months. They are important, very important, they decide where the rest of my story goes as being one Uchiha Sasuke and changing this world/dream/alternate dimension around.
Step one; Play it cool with Gaara again, it is the only way I'll survive that weirdo again until Naruto smacks some sense into the zombified kid. Step two; there's no way in hell I'll beat Orochimaru (SNAKE PEADOPHILE!) so I'm screwed there, I'll have to play along again and hope the cursed mark isn't the reason Sasuke became so messed up... No, that was apparently Itachi's fault but I KNOW THE TRUTH NOW BROTHER, I SHALL SAVE THEE BECAUSE YOU ARE SO HOT!
*cough, cough*
Step three; Don't trust Kabuto after the second round, he helps the team up until then for his own purposes so it's cool, as long as we pass again like last time ish... Step four; hm... There's training with Kakashi and it'll be cool to learn Chidori (and hard, who am I kidding?!) but I want to save the Sandaime as well, I'll need to handle my information carefully as well as my excuses. Step five; Try not to screw up!
Hahaha, easier said than done. Do I need to remember any more steps? Nah I'll make them up along the way, I am kind of winging this after all, it's not like I consciously prepared to be thrown into a supposedly fake turned real world as the opposite gender and as an important character that kind of decided the whole series now did I? No, no I didn't so there! *pulls tongue out at the world.*
Perhaps I'm losing it?
... Nah! Someone as awesome as me couldn't be skilled enough to lose something they never had! You know what, I'm going to sleep on it until an answer comes to me so…
Three, two one, and sleep.
XXXXXXXXXXX
"Sasuke, what is wrong with you?" Naruto was looking at me with a raised eyebrow after what I just suggested… It sounded like fun, and maybe a little bit of payback.
"What? It's too early to even try and stalk Kakashi to see if we can get under his mask or not." I said, it was true, there would be no way we would get close enough to even try and see under his mask and gosh darn it, I will one day look under his mask for all Kakashi fan girls everywhere!
This version of 'Naruto'. Now with ten percent Kakashi's face and ninety percent more Neji… Wait, ninety nine point nine, nine, nine percent more Itachi… Whenever that emo bastard decides to show up oh wait… I'm the emo one, I forgot.
"Okay then… want to have an emo off?" I asked Naruto and Sakura, we were done our mission for the day anyway and there was nothing much else to do in this village, it was still too far from the twentieth century but so advanced at the same time… Just not in the ways of the entertainment business.
"What the heck is an emo off? Honestly Sasuke, there's something wrong with you, we're taking you to the hospital for a head examination." Sakura said with worry, taking my wrist, purposefully missing my hand…
Sakura…
Purposefully missed my hand!
The world is going to burn. The power of Christ compels you! And sorry if I offend anyone out there but seriously, it's going to take a lot more than hell to keep Sakura away from me, this girl is just inhuman in the ways of 'Sasuke worship' and it's scary…
Did Jesus feel this way about being worshipped…
Does he still feel this way? :O
Anyway, where is the hospital anyway? Nothing a few high concentrated pills can't fix, or potent chakra or something else that is cool and advanced in this world of the samurai… ninja…
Is it me or am I making a lot of mistakes today…
"Hey guys?" I asked as Sakura looked back with worry in her green eyes, hand still clamped around my wrist that you'd probably need a crow bar to get it off and Naruto looked sideways at me. "I need to ask you a serious question." I said seriously as Sakura stopped and turned to face me and even Naruto turned to face me slightly.
"Whatever it is Sasuke-kun, we're here for you." Sakura said and Naruto nodded seriously.
"Do you…" Wow, the suspense looks like they could die… How long can I drag this out for with this interesting look of theirs? I really am a horrid… ly amazing person!
"Come on Sasuke, just spit it out dammit!" Naruto yelled.
I promptly spat out my gum I was chewing as Sakura squealed with the grossness and Naruto actually face palmed.
Fuck, someone give me a freaking no bell prize. I made the Uzumaki Naruto, stupidest character in the anime world actually face palm… That is a freaking achievement I could die with!
"Okay, okay! I'll be serious." I said as we regrouped and I sighed before looking them in the eyes. "Do you guys think… I'm stupid… and fat?" I asked as Naruto and Sakura still stood there expectantly, like they thought they heard this in their head but still processing that it actually happened.
"Yeah, we're taking you to the hospital." Sakura said, grabbing my wrist again, Naruto pushing from behind.
She missed my hand again!
Freaking halleluiah, she is actually normal.
Actually… Now that I think about this, it is actually a really bad idea because if I go to the hospital, Hiruzen will find out, demand test after test then something will come out and I'll be interrogated and found out… They will try and ruin my fun, I have three months until the chunin exams dammit, I still have time!
"Help, help! Kidnappers!" I yelled as Naruto clamped his hand over my mouth and Sakura yanked me closer to grab me in a bear hug, both looking around guiltily.
"It's okay Sasuke-kun, we're going to help you." Sakura said soothingly as she stroked my hair and Naruto looked quite panicked… Actually he looked exactly like a headless chicken just without the running around part… damn I'm hungry.
"Yeah Sasuke, we're your friends, we're not going to take you out of the village, just to the place where they will take care of you and we can have the old Sasuke back." Naruto said shakily with a terrible fake grin, inching me slowly down the street once more.
"You actually miss the old Sasuke?" I asked after shaking my mouth out of Naruto's hand and he looked me right in the eyes and shrugged, looking away as he kicked a stone, putting his hands in his pockets.
"Well… This Sasuke is fun and all but, well, who's gonna be my rival?" Naruto asked and I blinked…
I am a total stupid douche bag.
I'm not building this team up… I'm tearing it down. Naruto only works well when he has something to work towards and Sasuke was his constant drive, like the peanut butter to his jelly, or the apple to his pie, the straw to his berry, the smoke to his high and the one I want to marry. Song lyrics :/ bad idea. Cute song though. (Perfect Two (acoustic) by Auburn)
"Okay so… You wanna go and blow up something then?" I shrugged awkwardly, also putting my hands in my pockets and looking away. It was actually Sakura who started laughing, almost manically, bending over from the force of laughing actually and crying tears of amusement.
"Classic bromance." She said, wiping away a tear as my eye twitched and Naruto's head was tilted, cute and innocent.
"I swear Sakura, if you say the next thing on your mind…"
"It's so cute!"
"That's it, you die today girl!" I yelled as she squeaked with surprise, realising what she just said, my fists were clenched, time to smack a hoe (I apologise for Sakura bashing but no one… NO ONE calls Uchiha Sasuke 'cute' straight to his face and gets away with it. NO ONE!)
*This scene has been cut for explicit violence*
"Sasuke-kun! My pillow needs fluffing!" Sakura called from her bed as I grumbled before I had her father looking down over me… He fucking looks like a human version of Patric Star from Spongebob! His damn hair is shaped like a cherry blossom for Pete sakes!
(Pete waves in the audience)
"Yes Sakura."
'Excuse me?!" He yelled in my ear as I cringed.
"I mean Yes Sakura-hime." I repeated, going to Sakura's room as she burst out laughing and I grumbled.
Nothing really happened, she turned to run and twisted her ankle. I felt so bad, I actually carried her home and got the lecture of my life before being dogged into being her slave for the rest of the day so she is 'fit' enough to go on our mission tomorrow.
Naruto worried about her all the way… Then ditched me at the doorstep, I felt as if I'd been left at the Alter… Left at the Alter by my wingman and getting married, making the biggest mistake of my life.
Kakashi will piss himself tomorrow.
Maybe I should try to kill him. Maybe he'll also turn and twist his ankle, then I'll happily carry him… all around the village like a damsel and yelling:
"My fair maiden doth fellest! I, Knight in shining armour, the saviour of the night, Uchiha Sasuke, shall save the fine silver haired maiden, traumatised by such a fall!"
Hiruzen would mumble to himself about retiring, Gai would have black mail material for weeks, Kakashi's reputation with the women would drop dramatically and mine would rise! Mwahahahah, I shall take over the world…
Wait, that sounds too much like Road to Ninja Sasuke. Uchiha Sasuke must not know of his charming abilities.
"What are you thinking about?" Sakura asked as I fluffed the pillow under her iced ankle and I chuckled.
"Was I plotting out loud again?" I asked and Sakura laughed.
"Not really but you were laughing a little to yourself." She giggled and I smiled.
"I was wondering if I could get Kakashi to sprain his ankle so I could carry him like a damsel all over the village." I said and she burst out into a fit of laughter for the second time that day.
Let's just say, I left Sakura's house with a full stomach, leftovers and an excellent reputation with her parents. All in a day's work now, back to my future plotting…
Which will never appear because nothing is going to happen. Time skip no jutsu!