Chapter 7

The weather continued to be bleak and chilly for the time of year, so they were forced to spend a lot of time indoors.
Gold found that he didn't mind at all. They had fallen into an easy kind of domestic routine and he felt sure that neither him nor Bae had ever been happier.
At long last his home was a stable one and he watched in wonder how his son thrived at the attention Belle gave him.

Bae came racing to his car the second he got off the school bus, eager to go home and spend the afternoon having dinner, making his homework with the assistance of the two adults and spend the rest of the evening playing games or being read to.

And in a much more quiet way, he was enjoying himself just as much, soaking up this special time were he could pretend that they were a real family.
Once he had realized the depths of his feelings for her, he felt himself falling more in love with her with every day that passed and yearning stronger for things that would never be.

It was a beautiful, tantalizing dream… Belle was his wife and Bae's mother, they were happy together and their home was filled with love and laughter.
She loved him and he was making her happy. He never had to worry about her leaving him or fear her displeasure or her censure, because he was enough for her.

But as much as the dream warmed his heart, he kept a vigil watch on his words and actions whenever he was around her. He would not slip up. He would not make her uncomfortable with unwanted declarations or worse… unsolicited actions that revealed his feelings for her.

He'd been given three weeks, three weeks in which she was to stay with him and he got to enjoy her company, her smiles and her chatter.
Three weeks in which he could pretend that this was real and that their time together would never come to an end.

Three weeks in which he got a taste of the kind of life he could have given his son if he had made different choices in his life. Three weeks in which the both of them could experience what it was like to be a whole family.

And once those weeks were over he would let her go and treasure his memories.

On a rainy Sunday afternoon, almost two weeks after Belle had come to stay with them, they ended up playing Monopoly Junior.
Although Gold personally couldn't wait to introduce his son to the real game of buying property and investing wisely, as long as Bae was still learning how to add numbers, the Junior edition of the game was a fun way to tie them over.

Ten minutes into the game it became pretty obvious that Belle was just as competitive as the both of them were, but had the worst luck when it came to boardgames.
Soon her huffs of indignation and frustration as she once again rolled the dice and came up with a meager single dot - heavily exasperated for Bae's entertainment - send the boy into a fit of giggles every single time.

Especially since Bae apparently was on a lucky strike and rolled one six after another.

"You should take him to the horse races," she muttered under her breath and he grinned, handing Bae another pair of fake one dollar notes as he passed 'Go' once more.

"Ah yes! Finally!" she exclaimed when at long last the dice showed five. But she had barely lifted her pawn when her face fell and Bae simply hooted with glee.

"And now I'm in jail! I don't believe it!"

Bae rolled another six and bought the ice-cream parlor, while Gold rose to his feet intending to collect the glasses for a refill of juice.

He reached out his hand to take Bae's glass, momentarily distracted by the stack of banknotes his son handed him after his purchase and moments later, instead of grasping the cool, hard surface of the glass, his fingers closed around something soft and warm.

His hand froze in confusion, but it wasn't until Belle's surprised gasp that he looked up and saw what had happened, his insides turning cold with horror.

Misjudging the distance by several inches, instead of the glass his fingers were now curled around Belle's breast, as she'd been leaning over towards Bae to help him count his remaining banknotes.

It lasted no longer than a second - the longest, most mortifying second of his life - before he jerked his hand back, his face flaming with embarrassment.

"I-I'm sorry…" he managed to grind out, his voice sounding like gravel, his stomach clenching with panic.
She was going to be furious. She would think he was a pervert, trying to cup a feel over a bloody board game and she would insist on leaving his home straight away and never look at him again. Bae was going to be crushed and he would never be able to look at himself in the mirror again.

"Belle… I swear, it wasn't my intention to behave inappropriately…" To his dismay he heard how weak and shaky his voice was sounding and his heart sank even further, cold sweat forming on his forehead.
Pleading had never worked with Milah, had only fueled her dislike and later her revulsion with him further.

It wouldn't pacify Belle either. He was lucky if she didn't call the Sheriff on him. Bracing himself for her fury, he slammed his mouth shut and gripped the handle of his cane for support.

"Rowan…" Her soft voice cut through the miserable cacophony of self-incriminating thoughts swimming through his head.

"It's all right… I know it was an accident…"

He allowed himself an unsteady breath, searching her face for any signs of anger or disgust and finding none.

She continued to hold his gaze, two bright red spots appearing on both of her cheeks. "Really, no harm done," she insisted firmly.

His body slumped as the tension inside him alleviated, his heart beating furiously against his ribs.

"I was just…" He gestured lamely towards the glass, inwardly wincing at how hoarse he was still sounding. "Would you like some more juice as well?"

She smiled genuinely at him, handing him both her and Bae's glasses, his son blissfully ignorant to what had transpired, too busy rejoicing in his pile of money.
"I'd love some."

Belle was nothing like Milah and the relief was making him feel light-headed, although he still felt embarrassed enough to drown himself in a very cold shower.
She thought it was an awkward accident and was still in the dark about his growing attachment to her.

She would stay with him for another ten days more and with renewed determination, he vowed to himself that he would not slip up again.

After he returned with the refills, Belle tried to keep focussed on the game, paying close attention to Bae who was rapidly turning into the game's real estate tycoon. Still, she couldn't help but sneak covert glances at the man sitting across the table from her.

His face was slowly returning to its normal color, but the slight shake of his hand as he lifted a glass of ice-cold water to his mouth and gulped down a few sips told her he was still highly unsettled.

There was not a single trace of doubt in her mind that the touch had been entirely accidental. His stricken expression and stammered apologies being all the proof that she needed.

A few weeks after her arrival into Storybrooke she had decided to get a taste of the town's nightlife and headed down to the only bar in town, a grubby place called 'The Rabbit Hole'. She had lasted for exactly twenty-three minutes before the not-so-accidental bumps against her body and straying hands towards her backside had made her rush out of the place in disgust.

Once she'd gotten home, she had treated herself to a long shower and curled up on the couch in her flanel pajamas with a book that within minutes proved to be more interesting than any of the men she'd met at the bar that night.

Rowan Gold was different from the crude, inebriated men she had met that night. He was kind and thoughtful and the most interesting man she'd ever met.

And touching her like that was the furthest thing from his mind.

Belle fought down a dejected sigh and moved up her cat-shaped paw another square, moving the dice on to Bae.
After her antipathy towards the grabby men at The Rabbit Hole she had no right to feel put out that a decent, gentleman-like man like Rowan was so opposed to touching her.

Only she was.

Her body was still tingling, the spot were his fingers had grazed her breast still feeling hot and prickly.
The rush of feelings that had washed over her at his unexpected an unintentional touch had surprised her, especially when she realized how much she wanted him to touch her like that.

Taking a sip of her orange juice against her suddenly dry throat she let her eyes wander again, thankful that he was too preoccupied with Bae to notice her staring.

He really was a rather handsome man, even though not conventionally so. But the way his brown, streaked with grey hair brushed the collar of his suit made her want to bury her fingers in it, just to find out if it was a soft and silky as it looked.

The more she got to know him, the more attractive he became. Right on their first proper meeting in the hospital, she'd been impressed by his presence and the fine figure he cut in his impeccable suits.
But now she noticed so much more. The first time she'd looked at him she'd thought his brown eyes were beautiful. Now they captivated her as she could see a world of emotions and feelings in their depths.
And anything his eyes didn't reveal, his hands did and she'd caught herself staring at them at a few occasions already. A twitch of his fingers, the way he gripped his cane, or how his hands often wavered protectively near his son… he could arrange his face into a perfect mask, but his hands often betrayed him.

Hands that she wanted to feel on her own body, because the accidental brush he'd given her earlier was nowhere near enough to satisfy her curiosity.
She wondered what it was like to be with him, to feel his arms around her and his lips on her skin. There was a great deal of passion he kept locked inside, she was certain of that. He had a great capacity to love - he'd endured an abusive marriage, just because he'd wanted to keep his family intact for his son's sake. The fierceness of his dedication, the intensity of the love that he showed for his son made her wonder what it would be like to be the object of such love. There was a lot of passion, but she somehow suspected that he would be gentle before anything else.

Fighting down another sigh, Belle bit her lower lip as an unexpected memory of her last boyfriend suddenly floated through her mind.
Gaston had been the main reason why she'd been so set on packing up and leaving Australia. She wanted a new start, but most of all, she wanted a clean break from Gaston.

She had certainly been in love with him, especially at the beginning. He had made it abundantly clear that he wanted her and that he would stop at nothing to get her. She had been flattered by his attention, he was a good-looking guy and she'd felt horribly lonely after her father's death. It was nice to belong to someone again, to not have to face everything alone.
But a half year into their relationship she'd realized that for Gaston it had mostly been the thrill of the chase. Once he had her, he became gradually less complimentary and attentive, until it suddenly dawned on her how demanding he really was, his boyish charm nothing but a thin layer of varnish.

They didn't fight, he wasn't horrible to her, but one day she came to the conclusion that instead of feeling relaxed and herself around him, she always felt that she had to be on her best behavior in front of him.
Their break-up had been painful. Gaston wasn't used to being dumped, even though she tried to be as gently as she possibly could, ensuring him that it wasn't him and that she just wasn't ready to commit to anyone yet.

Gaston had agreed whole-heartily with the notion that everything that had gone wrong between them happened because of her and presented her with a laundry-list of reasons why she was such awful girlfriend material.
On a sensible level she knew he was just hurt and his ego even more so, but a few of the things he'd said to her did sting and even now, more than a year later, she still couldn't completely banish his words from her memory.

When she'd temporarily moved in the with the Golds she had feared that within days he'd grow just as annoyed with her as Gaston had, but to her great surprise, things between her and Rowan had never grown uncomfortable.
It didn't matter if she wandered through the house in her yoga-pants and a loose-fitted shirt because those were the only clothes that she could bear against her bruises. It didn't matter if she fell asleep half way through a movie, a side-effect of her pain medication, or if she was even clumsier than usual, Rowan remained completely unperturbed by it. He was caring and attentive and Belle was startled by how secure he made her feel.
Being with Rowan and Bae was the easiest thing in the world because she could just be herself around them and the thought of leaving them at the end of next week became harder to stomach with each day that passed.

And now his accidental touch had created a whole new rush of yearning. She wanted him. She wanted to know what his kiss tasted like or how his hands would feel exploring her body. She wanted all of his concentration focussed on her and drown in it.

She wanted to find out what he liked, how she could shatter his impressive self-control with touches and kisses of her own. She wanted to know if he would let her.

After the hell his ex-wife had put him through, she wanted him to feel love and cherished again. He deserved it all and so much more. A woman who was so completely smitten with him that she couldn't bear to be apart from him again. A woman who would tease him and make him laugh until the lines around his eyes were permanently crinkled with laughter. A woman who warmed him during the night, who held him and kissed him and loved him until all the cold and loneliness had dispatched from his heart.

She wanted to be that woman for him.

She might as well yearn for the moon. Rowan Gold was not in any way romantically interested in her.
A man like him had no use for the inexperienced, clumsy, head-in-the-clouds, small town bookworm that she was. Her dreams had always been too grand, too unrealistic to become a reality, but it had never hurt her as much as it did now.

She had ten more days with him and Bae and as she handed over her last banknotes to Bae, thus ending the game, she firmly vowed to herself that she would enjoy these days but expect nothing more than that.

She wouldn't slip up and make things awkward between them.

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