Chapter Eighty Three
Bella
I don't think I had ever felt so sorry for anyone in my life, not only had he lost everyone who meant anything to him but he felt he was responsible and as a result the Volturi had been able to twist him into some nightmare creature who cared for nobody and nothing. For years he had killed and tortured at their behest and they didn't care what it was doing to him, how every death damaged him more and more until, there was little of the real man left.
I could only thank God that I had found him in time, whatever our feeling for each other were they had ignited a spark, possibly the very last of the real Jasper Whitlock and now it was up to me to nurture that spark and help it grow until he remembered what it was like to feel and hope, care and plan for the future. Did I love him? It was too early to use such a word but I meant my promise that I would never leave him until he no longer needed me and a small voice in my head was hoping that day would never come.
My only other concern was my father, I hated Charlie to be blaming himself for my death, especially as I was still alive although for how much longer I had no idea. If I were to stay with Jasper then I understood I would of necessity become a vampire myself although in all honesty I couldn't imagine slipping back into my human life again now, too much had happened. I knew he was thinking, deciding whether I meant what I said, where we could go, how we could avoid the Volturi, that was our biggest hurdle.
Deciding it was time to break the silence I squeezed his hand,
"Jasper, the others will be here soon, do you have any idea what to do? We aren't the only ones in danger from the Volturi. Perhaps we should explain to the others and let them decide if they want to stay, knowing the dangers I mean."
He smiled, a tiny weary smile but it was a smile all the same and it changed his face completely,
"If there is one thing I can be completely sure of it's Peter's presence by my side. I can't remember a time he wasn't there, not since the war anyway. If he thought I even considered his leaving he would likely punch me out."
"I'm glad you have a friend like that."
"I would never tell him as much but sometimes his presence is all that has kept me going and I have been a bastard to him."
"Well maybe now you'll have the chance to make up for that."
He jumped to his feet suddenly and I gasped in shock as he put a hand to my mouth,
"We have visitors and until I'm sure its the right kind I need you to keep quiet and stay here."
"What if it's the Volturi?"
Fear made my voice more high pitched than normal although my words were little more than a whisper.
"Then you stay here, if I don't come back you wait, Peter and Charlotte will be here soon and they'll take care of you."
"What about you though?"
He bent over and kissed my forehead,
"Then I had a perfect moment with a perfect woman who believed there was still good in me and no man could ask for more. Now please do as I say Bella."
I wanted to follow him, to beg him to stay here but neither of those were him, The Major always faced things head on and all I could do was to pray it was Peter and not the Volturi guard.
I waited in silence hoping to hear something, a clue as to what was going on, and then a few minutes later I heard footsteps on the stair as the door opened and a shaft of moonlight illuminated the bottom. I tensed holding a hand to my mouth to stop myself from screaming out and then I saw him and heaved a sigh of relief. I found myself on my feet running to him and throwing my arms around him in relief and slowly his own came up to hug me gently in return. Behind him came Peter and Charlotte, both looking bemused to see us like this and blushing I pulled myself free and cleared my throat,
"We thought you might be the Volturi."
Peter looked at Jasper with a grin,
"Really? If the Volturi made that much noise I'm pretty sure we could have taken them down years ago. I made enough noise to wake the dead so you'd know it was me Major. You getting soft in the head?"
As he spoke I saw him tense as of unsure how his friend would take such words.
"Sorry Major, just trying to lighten the atmosphere. So, where do we go from here? I take it this root cellar isn't going to become my home again, it doesn't exactly hold good memories."
The Major
I had been relieved that Peter's arrival gave me the opportunity to escape with my mixed and confusing emotions. Bella was getting to me, she reached a part of me I thought long lost. I felt for the first time and I wasn't sure I could cope any more. I wasn't sure I wanted to. Staying The Major was the easy way out and I wasn't sure I was strong enough to take the hard route. Yet something told me this would be my last and only chance to stop before Jasper Whitlock was lost for ever.
Did I really want to spend eternity terrifying and murdering, some bogeyman of the vampire world? No, probably not but what was the alternative? Become a target for every vampire I had hurt, maimed, or whose mate/ friend I had killed? To change I needed Bella which meant her becoming a vampire, as a human she was just too vulnerable but by taking her as my mate, by claiming her I painted a bulls eye on the center of her chest. My job then would be to keep her safe rather than my world, or rather she and not the Volturi would become my world.
Her reaction when I reappeared only served to underline the fact that whatever she might think we were fated to be together, I just wasn't sure I trusted fate any longer, she had never shown any special warmth towards me. Peter had sensed the dynamics were changing although he soon back pedaled when he realized what he had said.
I was sorry because that underlined how far I had pushed him over the years. Why he hadn't just said fuck you and walked away I couldn't imagine. Peter, like me, was loyal to his family and we two were brothers now, the only family either of us had. His girl Charlotte was still wary of me but I was so used to that it bounced off me. While the girls sat together catching up I took Peter back outside promising not to be far away when Bella looked up as we moved towards the stairs.
Once outside I questioned him about Charlotte to prevent him doing the same to me about Bella.
"Is she staying?"
"Charlotte? Sure."
"Why?"
"Because I like her, because I'm sick of all the fucking killing, it's destroying you Major and someone has to tell you. I guess that person has to be me seeing as we don't have any other friends to step up."
"You want out?"
"Of the Volturi? Of the killing? Yeah, I think I paid my dues and then some. I want a life, a woman, to feel I can turn a corner without watching out for assassins."
"You know you'll never be free of that. There will always be someone ready to settle old scores or try out their prowess."
"Oh I reckon there's fewer looking for score settlin' and I fancy my chances against the so called hard men, the thing that concerns me is the Volturi. I can't see them coming up with a big fat pension and a handshake."
"Me neither, so I guess if we decide to cut free we need a way to do so safely, for the sake of the girls as much as anything."