Chapter 31, let's go! Hans was a dick, Elsa came crashing down. What's gonna happen now? Here's the update I've been struggling with. Sorry it's late.
The backlash of the slew of rumors left the band in a terrible place. Kai had to handle the media on his own for a while, trying to set up a press conference in the city where they have taken refuge after they were run out of Cleveland by the angry fans and hungry journalists. The rest of the band stayed in a hotel to avoid the onslaught of the paparazzi. While the others tried to come up with solutions in the room the boys shared, Elsa was huddled under the blankets of her bed, refusing to leave the room.
Anna, on the other hand, was actually surprising the boys with her resourcefulness. She had been helping Kai as best as she could with phone calls. It was she who managed to get a press conference, but Elsa didn't want to participate. The boys decided to do it anyway, facing the music without Elsa. They hoped that their voices would speak well for Elsa's situation. It was better than sitting around and doing nothing.
It was a small conference—a radio conference, really—but a conference nevertheless. It was with the very same station that received Hans' call, and they were the only ones eager to get the band on the air. Not very comforting, but Anna was taking anything at that point. Anna made sure Kai got the news out to everyone, Pabbie helped them out as well by putting out a statement of the company's continued support and respect toward Dry Ice in spite of the rumors. Kristoff said they lost a couple of clients, but Pabbie told them it was no love lost.
During the conference call in the morning, the radio hosts Mickey and Oswald absolutely put them through the ringer. The boys hardly got a word in, trying to talk over the hosts as they were drilled with question after question. Anna was on too, but didn't speak up. She just sat in a silent rage at the radio hosts, nodding or shaking her head at the band when they said certain things. They looked to her for directions, but they knew that the hosts were not going to be merciful. Tears were rolling down her face as they made jabs at Elsa, playing cheesy sound effects after every zinger. All those sound effects did was stab Anna in the heart.
When the call ended, she buried her face in her hands. "I fucking hate the media," she groaned.
"We're coming out of this looking worse than before," Sitron snarled, standing up and going out to the balcony to have a smoke.
"Anna, we have to do something more than this," Olaf said. "Radio talk shows aren't gonna work forever. All they did was talk over us."
"It's all we can do," Anna said sadly. "It's all I could find... It's like nobody wants to hear our side."
"This is what the media does," Olaf sighed. "They feed off of rumors and tabloids, and their consumers eat it up twice as fast. Elsa seemed so immaculate for so long, and now that she finally has some shit on her, the news went mental."
"Any good news?" Anna begged, looking between him and Marshmallow.
"Twitter has been kinda nice," Marshmallow said quietly.
"Define 'kinda'."
"There are the diehard fans out there defending us. Your cousin Rapunzel has been our fiercest warrior," Marshmallow informed her with a small smile. "She's gotten some hate herself but her comebacks are... well, they're brutal."
Anna chuckled to herself. "They would be. Remind me to call her soon and thank her."
"I'll sign anything and everything she wants," Olaf promised.
"She'll appreciate that. But you might find yourself losing the ink in pens pretty fast." Anna stood from her seat and stretched. "I'm gonna check on Elsa."
The two said goodbye as Anna entered the room next door. Elsa was still a ball under the blankets, the room freezing cold and dark. Anna moved across the carpeted floor and sat on the edge of the bed. She reached out and touched the pile of blankets, hoping she was somewhere near Elsa's shoulder or arm. The blankets shifted only slightly but then went still.
"Els, you gotta get up and face this," Anna said gently. "I know it'll be a shit-storm, but showing that you're strong will look better for you."
Elsa was quiet and unmoving.
"It sucks. It does," Anna tried to be sympathetic. "It's awful and I'm so mad that all this has happened to you. But you're doing exactly what Hans wants you to do. He wants you to suffer and be in pain. You know what I think you should do?"
Again, Elsa remained unresponsive. Anna took in a breath and inched a little closer to the top of the mound. She could just barely see some platinum hair poking out of the sheets.
"I think you should go to New York and do one last show and blow them all away. Show them you're strong, and that Hans is full of it. You're letting him win, and we can't let him do that. Please, Elsa. Please listen to me and trust me when I tell you that there are people out there who still love you." When she didn't get a reaction, Anna snapped and threw the covers off Elsa, tired of playing nice. She had stayed up late with this girl over this stupid mess and tonight would be the last night. Yes, staying up with her over her father passing away was one thing, but this demanded fixing today. "Elsa Andersen! Listen to me right now!"
Elsa's brow twitched and she glanced at Anna out of the corner of her eye. Anna didn't even bat an eye at the greasy hair, oily skin, and dried tear streaks. Instead, she forced Elsa to lay on her back and stared into those empty pools of icy blue.
"Let me tell you something, Elsa. Life sucks and it's not fair. I know that you've just been kicked while you were down, but it's time to get up and be an adult. You can still mourn the loss of your father, but you can also fight back against Hans' and his sad attempt at revenge. You are so much better than this. You're acting like you're alone, but you're not. We're all here for you. But you're acting like a loser right now. Guess what, though? You're not a loser. You know what you are? You're obnoxious, you're self-centered, you're goddamn pretentious, and you've been the bane of my existence ever since I joined you on this stupid tour bus with a gang of geeks you call a rock band. But I will not let you ruin your own career. Now get up off your ass and make everyone out there worship you the way they should!"
Elsa blinked a couple of times, almost afraid of Anna and the fire in her eyes.
"Do you understand me?" snapped Anna.
"Yes, ma'am," Elsa said in a raspy voice.
Anna softened. "Good... I'm sorry I yelled. I just needed to get through to you somehow."
"It's okay." Elsa looked to the side. "I have been acting like a loser, haven't I?"
"Like I said, you were kicked when you were down. I'd be moping, too. But I would eventually get up and face this." Anna brushed some hair out of Elsa's eyes. "And I know you're strong enough to do it."
"Has New York been cancelled?"
"No, it hasn't. The ticket sales have dropped some, but overall it looks like it'll be packed."
"Really?"
"Yes. You see? You still have fans who love you unconditionally. Scars or no scars. Remember what your dad said? Scars are badass! Flaunt them Elsa! Show them that you shouldn't be ashamed of who you are and the mistakes someone else thrust upon you. So what the big reveal was a little anticlimactic? What were they even expecting? You to have tentacles or something stupid like that?"
The corners of Elsa's mouth twitched for a second before she frowned again. "It's not just that."
"I know, the awful rumors that you're using me are the most impactful."
"I'm so angry that they dragged you into this."
"It's alright, Elsa. I'm fine."
Elsa was quiet for a moment. Then she rasped, "I'm afraid."
"I'm sure. I would be, too. However, facing your fears and accepting who you are is what you preach, Els. It's what you're all about. So practice what you preach."
Elsa reached up with bare hands and cupped Anna's face between them. "I truly hate what they said about us... about you. I'm so sorry."
"I can handle it," Anna chirped. "Know why?"
Elsa shook her head.
"'Cause I know that it's not true. I can't let that get under my skin. They have no idea what you and I have. They have no idea how much I love you and all you are." Anna leaned down and kissed her. "I know it's terrifying, but I believe in you. After all, I am your number one fan."
Elsa pressed her forehead against Anna's. "He got me at my lowest moment."
"He did, but you have nowhere to go but up, my hero."
The punk looked into the roadie's eyes. Then she let out a small smile. "Remember when you hated me?"
"I still hate you, punk," Anna teased. "Now, come on. Let's get you showered and fed. Life's been throwing punches at you for the past few days, but you're gonna throw some right back!"
When Anna told Kai to keep New York's concert afloat, he seemed skeptical. He said he didn't want them to lose anymore money because of this slip-up, but Anna promised him that they wouldn't. In fact, she predicted an increase in tickets by people hungry for a big Elsa meltdown.
"But they won't get it," she had said over the phone. "She'll do great."
"You better be right about this, or you're going to pay for it," Kai had said roughly before hanging up. Anna didn't blame him for being so curt, but it did make her sweat a bit.
The band had left the hotel a day ago, and now they were zooming down the highway to New York. They still had some time to kill before the concert, but they wanted to arrive prepared and ready for their final concert of the tour. Anna was doing all sorts of research in her bedroom, making a to-do list of what they could do in retaliation. Hans deserved the worst, and Anna was making sure she was going to give it to him.
She asked Elsa if the band had a lawyer so they could sue him and the Westerguard's company for slander, but Elsa said they didn't. Knowing they had plenty of money to hire one, Anna chalked that up to handle later. She made sure Rapunzel and Eugene were rallying some fans to call Hans out by name, exposing him for revealing Elsa's personal information. So far only some people believed them, but it was a good start for them all. Rapunzel reported that the Westerguard's Twitter following actually dropped some, which gave Anna some hope. When Rapunzel told her people were still Tweeting and sharing the photos of her and Elsa, Anna brushed it off. Her own reputation was the last thing she was concerned about.
Elsa was floored by all Anna that was doing. She was handling the band's business as they rehearsed in the front room, and Anna wasn't even told to do anything of the sort. It was all on her own time and own accord.
Sometimes Anna took a break from all the research to watch the band rehearse. She even met with Sven and Kristoff to discuss what will be done as far as tech went. All the band had to worry about was sounding their best.
The evening before they crossed the state line into New York, Anna and Kristoff were grabbing dinner for everyone at a Taco Bell not too far from where they parked. They ignored the stares from people who no doubt recognized Anna from every single site that churned out news and the pictures Hans had taken of she and Elsa. Kristoff, however, would send the occasional glare that read "back the fuck off" over to anyone who stared for a little too long for his liking. As they waited in line, she looked up at Kristoff and felt the need to say something about what had transpired.
"Sorry you were told the way you were," she said.
"Huh?" He turned his head to meet her gaze. "What are you talking about."
"The gloves. . . the scars."
"Oh, that. It's no big deal."
"It is. You're a part of the band and you deserved to know at some point, just on Elsa's terms."
"Look, I don't think any of us anticipated this to happen, but now Sven and I know. It's just the way it is."
"It wasn't right."
"Of course it wasn't, and Hans'll get what's coming to him."
"Oh, boy, you have no idea. I've been researching lawyers like it's nobody's business."
"Damn, Anna. You're manager material."
"I'm what?"
"You know. . . manager?"
"Like Michael Scott-type manager?"
Kristoff laughed. "No! Managing the band."
"Oh! Oh, ha, no. I'm not a manager. I'm just taking care of business that Kai hasn't had time to do."
"Kai is just their agent. He gets them gigs and signs them with companies. But you have traveled with the band and have dealt with more bullshit than Kai has. I think you should consider being a manager. Kai needs someone like you on the road."
"I can't. . . I have other ideas on what my career will be."
"What? A teacher, right?"
She nodded.
"That's not a job for you, and I mean that in the best way," he told her honestly. "You're sweet and you'd be a great teacher, but you've been handling things here like a fucking boss. Dry Ice needs a manager that travels with them, and I think you'd be perfect. You keep them in line, and you've been helping them through this crisis."
"Kristoff. . . It's a big responsibility and I don't think I can handle that. I'd probably just mess it all up."
"You're selling yourself short, my friend," he said as they stepped up to the counter.
Anna fell quiet as Kristoff rattled off the orders for the band. A manager position. . . wasn't this all supposed to be temporary? Being a roadie was just her summer job. She had made some great money on the road, and she thought that once she returned to Arendelle, that would be it. She'd say goodbye to the tour, the band, and even to Elsa. Most likely. At least, that's what she told herself would most likely happen. It broke her heart just thinking about it.
I'm not manager material, she thought, frowning. I'm just a kid who's making it up as I go on.
If the circumstances weren't so heavy on her shoulders, Elsa would have taken a moment to admire the Big Apple as they entered it the next afternoon. How she thought she was going to enter the city was completely different in her head several months ago. She imagined herself standing in front of Madison Square Garden, pride swelling in her chest, telling herself that she finally made it. She was going to perform in her final venue and make the world scream her name. No drama, no trouble; it was just a dream come true.
Instead, Elsa cowered in the bus as she waited for the day of the concert to come. She had done all her vocal warm ups for the day, had some tea with lemon and honey, and rested in bed. She sat alone in the bedroom, blinds closed. She was staring down at the scars on her hands, a lump in her throat.
These had brought her nothing but trouble since she got them. It hurt for so long whenever she tried to play piano or guitar. She was severely out of practice when it came to the latter instrument that she didn't even bother anymore, even though she missed it. The gloves weren't really a sham, but Anna had been right when she asked "what were they expecting?" What were the expecting? Racist tattoos on the back of her hands? Prosthetic hands and fingers? A fucking card trick? She knew she had made them a bigger deal than they had to be, but people kept asking about them, especially after that one interview they brought up during the news report. She just had to open her big fat mouth.
Elsa reached for her gloves and shoved them back over her pale hands. She drew her knees up to her chest and sighed. She had never not looked forward to a show quite like this. She had a bottle tossed at her once, so who knows what people would bring to this one.
"Scars are badass," her father had told her, and Elsa wanted to believe him. Maybe she was hiding them for so long that she buried her shame and acceptance under the leather along with the scars.
After a beat, Elsa ripped off the gloves and stared at her scars intensely. Her brow furrowed and she repeated "scars are badass" to herself. Her lip trembled as she stumbled over the phrase after the hundredth time. She clenched her hands and closed her eyes.
A knock sounded on the door and Elsa gave them permission to come in. Anna opened the door and then shut it behind her. She was balancing two cups in one hand and a bag of goodies in the other. She came to sit beside Elsa, and the blonde relieved her of a cup.
"It's tea for your throat. I brought doughnuts, too." Anna kissed Elsa's cheek. "How are you feeling?"
"Anxious," Elsa sighed.
Anna placed down the bag of doughnuts so she could rub circles in Elsa's back. "I know, but you're not alone."
Elsa sipped her tea. "I just. . . I hope things work out."
"They will. Your career isn't going to end this early. It'll end when you retire a very rich, iconic, and successful woman."
Elsa leaned on her. "I'm glad you're here. I'm glad you believe in me."
"Do you need me to be out in the crowd during the show?"
"Yeah. I'll need to focus on you."
Anna pulled Elsa closer and kissed her temple. "Just look at me during the show and you'll be fine. It's what I'm here for, after all. Just rest yourself for now, okay?"
"I am. I'm trying to calm down."
Anna glanced down at her girlfriend's bare hands and then at the gloves by her feet. "I think this is the longest I've seen you without your gloves. I mean, you and I have slept together while they were off but you haven't worn them since we left the hotel. Even during rehearsals."
"I guess I've just been ashamed of wearing them all this time and not living up to the hype."
"Oh, Elsa, we've been over this. Who cares? They're just hands. People were expecting too much out of one little thing." Anna reached over and patted her bare hands. "They finally got their answer on what was under their gloves and they're just bitter it wasn't what they expect. If anyone is being dramatic, it's them for making this such a big deal that they turn on you."
Elsa sighed. "I guess."
Anna helped her lean back against the wall, and they started to drink their tea in peace. They watched some TV and relaxed together, soothing Elsa greatly as the day fell away.
On an empty stage, looking into an empty audience, Elsa stood. It was the day before the concert and her bandmates were helping the crew carry in the equipment. Elsa had requested to be alone, to meditate some. She could hear the sound of the riggers up above her as they prepared the lights. There was some muffled noise from backstage, too, but Elsa wasn't paying it much attention.
She had her gloves on, yet they seemed to burn her skin. It was an ironic feeling, she thought. She kept the gloves on anyway. To distract herself, she focused on her surroundings instead. Anna told her to think of the positive things in her life, and Elsa was standing on one of them.
Even though she had been through some tough times in her childhood, in the early stages of her career, and the past couple of weeks, she was here. She was standing on a stage, about to live her dream and live her father's old dream. There were so many people out there who only thought of doing this in passing, and there were so many people who never made it this far. But there Elsa was. She smiled at the feeling of joy bubble in her chest. She missed that warmth.
She thought of other good things like her friends. Olaf, Marshmallow, and Sitron were her brothers. They were the first to accept her for who she was, and they were the ones who followed her down this crazy path. She was lucky that they stuck by her even when she was acting like she ruled the world. Although, they told her she was actually acting less like that, which was fine by them. That had made Elsa laugh her hardest for the first time in days.
Above all else in her world, there was Anna. The best thing that has happened to her in a long time. Sure, their relationship started off rocky and Elsa was honestly going to use her as a focal point the entire journey because Anna countered her ego. Yet, the redhead intrigued her and got under her skin in the best way possible as they got to know one another. It wasn't a traditional relationship, but their meeting wasn't traditional either. It was refreshing to Elsa, and Anna was also accepting of her and all of her flaws.
Without Anna, they probably wouldn't have made it this far. From getting the band back together, keeping everyone sane with coffee and food deliveries, and just being the little ray of sunshine she was, Anna was really the glue of the group.
Elsa closed her eyes and focused on the feeling of the stage beneath her feet, the hum of activity backstage. She strained her ears and imagined that the stadium was full, brimming with people, with fans. They were cheering for Elsa, chanting her name. Singing along with everyone song the band played. Nobody cared about her gloves. They just wanted her to sing to them, to give them a show they'll never forget.
Tears formed in the corners of Elsa's eyes as she opened them slowly. Her imagination filled every single seat, and she could hear and feel the nonexistant music around her. She took in a deep breath and started to sing a cappella, the only real ears hearing her belonging to the crew above and backstage.
She sang her hit solo, the song that boosted her into her career. The song that was beloved by millions, and the song that annoyed millions more. But Elsa loved it. This was her anthem, and they could never take that away from her. Not Hans, not the media, and not the fans that turned on her. It was the song that was inked to her skin forever. She'll love the song for the rest of her life.
Tears dripped down her cheeks as she bellowed it with all her heart, activity from the crew stopping as they watched her. Some were struck dumb in admiration, others were just pleasantly entertained. Elsa didn't care if anybody was watching. She was singing for her scars, for those she inspired, for her friends, for her band, for Anna, for her father, but, most importantly, for herself.
She wasn't going to hide anymore.
The following night was the big night, the final night. One more show to end the tour, and Elsa was breathing through a panic attack backstage in the dressing room. She could hear the rumble of feet and voices outside, and this was the most she had panicked before a show. Olaf and Sitron were quietly talking to one another. Both were nervous, but not as nervous as Elsa. Rather, they were nervous for her. Marshmallow was pacing and glancing at Elsa every so often, and then he would share a glance with the other two boys in the room. They wanted to do something to calm her down, but they were at a loss.
Sometime later, as the band waited for the opening act to finish, Anna strode into their dressing room.
"You guys ready?" she asked them, shutting the door behind her.
"No," they all answered.
"Did you rehearse for nothing?" When they didn't reply, Anna lifted her brows. "Come on, guys! You're gonna kick ass out there tonight!" She sat on a chair and beckoned them over. "Anna pep talk time. I've been giving them a lot lately but let this be my last one, okay?" They all walked over to her and gave her their undivided attention. "Listen: you're the most popular band right now. Music lately has been a lot of solo artists, and I miss the comradery of a band. I'm not saying that there aren't any amazing bands right now, but you guys are what the greats in the beginning created. You're the product of collaboration. You're young, and people our age need a band to grow up with like our parents did. You're organic, you're fresh. But you're not perfect." She smiled slightly. "Sorry, but you're not. Nobody is. Still, you guys are talented and wonderful and. . . I just love you a lot, okay? You've just had your names dragged in the dirt, but that doesn't mean you can't rise back to the top. Hans will be punished, I promise. But for now, show him and the rest of the haters that you, all four of you, will never surrender to tabloids and rumors."
"Anna. . . you're the best damn roadie we've ever had," Olaf said weakly. "You really are. Holy shit."
"Who knew a kid from a mountain town could bring us this far," Sitron added.
"We love you, Anna," Marshmallow sniffled, wiping tears from his eyes.
"Thanks for all you've done for us, kid," Elsa said sincerely. "And we want to thank you in the best way possible. Just name it, and we'll do it.
"I don't need anything." Anna shook her head. "It's been a privilege traveling with you all, and I'm really sad to see it end so soon. Not counting the current circumstances, this has been the best summer of my life. I'm gonna miss this."
"We're gonna ask you to tour with us again," Olaf promised.
"Oh, I. . ." Anna couldn't bring herself to say no to their eager faces. "Maybe," she said instead.
"We'll talk later," Elsa said, sensing her hesitance. "For now, I need to down some water and stop freaking out." She looked to her band, anxious again. "What if they boo us?"
"We'll play through it," Olaf said in determination. "They paid to hear us play, so we'll play. Let them boo if they try. We're louder, anyway. And if they do drown us out, I'm sure Sven will crank the volume to ear-splitting levels."
"Fuck yeah!" Sitron cheered, clapping Elsa on the shoulder. "Anna's right. We're not perfect, but damn, we're awesome. Elsa, you're gonna make the world fall to its knees!"
"So people keep telling me," Elsa mumbled.
"It'll happen," Marshmallow assured her. "Elsa the Unbreakable! Elsa the Powerful!"
"All hail Queen Elsa!" Olaf shouted at the top of his voice.
Anna and Sitron laughed, and Elsa let out a small smile. There was a knock before Kristoff poked his head in. They all turned to him, their tiny celebration deflating as reality seemed to creep inside behind their techie.
"Guys," he said, "the opening band is about to do their last set. Places."
"Thanks, Kris," Anna said, standing up. She looked at the four in front of her before opening her arms. "Group hug?"
They surged forward and embraced the roadie, holding on for a moment. Anna stepped back and didn't hide the tears forming in her eyes.
"I'm so proud of you guys," she croaked. "All of you. You're gonna make Hans eat his words. The show must go on, right." She thrust her hand in front of her. "Dry Ice on three?"
They all grinned and smacked their hands on top of hers. "One. . . two. . . three. . ." they chanted in unison. "Dry Ice!"
"Break a leg," Anna told them before striding toward the door.
As she was about to make her way out to the audience, Elsa called out to her. Anna did a one-eighty, seeing Elsa walk over. Behind her, the boys were splitting up to get into place.
"What is it?" Anna said.
Without answering, Elsa kissed her deeply once she was in front of Anna. The crowd outside cheered for the opening act as the lips of the two girls met, and it made Anna feel like they were cheering for them. The band made its way backstage and the lights dimmed so the boys could get into place. Elsa, sensing the timing, pulled away slowly before pressing her forehead against Anna's.
"I love you," she breathed.
"I love you, too. I gotta go so I can be in the crowd—"
"Wait. Can you hold something for me?"
"Sure."
Elsa, taking a deep and shaky breath, slowly peeled off her gloves and handed them to Anna. Anna stared down at them with wide eyes and an open mouth before looking up at Elsa. But Elsa was already making her way to side stage. Anna wanted to call out to her, but astonishment blocked her throat.
Elsa put on her wireless mic, and closed her eyes for what seemed like the millionth time. She waited and the intro to their first song began. The audience was quiet. She counted to five. . .
Then she walked into the darkness of the stage, gloveless and ready to face the crowd one more time.
It's not done. Hang in there.
Two more chapters, my friends. Until then—
Fav/Follow/Review
See you next time.