Why hello, everybody! I know it is really strange seeing me twice in one month but it's Friday and I need time to rest my brain. Things have been crazy with it being close to the end of school. Anybody got their pools and beach vacations ready yet? And then on top of that I've been busy doing dress rehearsals for my high school's play. Wish us luck because we need it.

I've mostly written Forever except the epilogue and that's almost done. I know, it seems like I should have finished by now but as said before, life's been busy-plus I'm working on a few extra stories. Taken to the Grave is one of them...which I have decided to rewrite yet again.

And again, I am going to ask this because it's driving me crazy...what happen to my reviews? Do I need to change some stuff? I really want to know if you readers who aren't reviewing like or hate my stories. Trust me, I can handle constructive criticism. As my friends say I am a brutally honest person, meaning I can also handle your honesty too. I want to know what you think. If you don't like I take that as a lesson learned and use it in the future. If you got tips or want to see something in the story, please tell me. I want to involve my readers as much as possible. Ask questions too. Nothing is off limits.

Peaches318: Thanks for reviewing and being so patient. I know when I read a story that hasn't been updated in a while, I'm stalking their page, I'm tapping my foot, I'm sighing in disappoint. I am not a very patient person, haha. And for Liam I kind of wanted him to tell the story. It's kind of like a could of, should of, would of. Not really the should of part because this story would have a completely different plot line. I just have never seen it before and I wanted to show that Liam was okay with what happen. Change things up a bit you know.

Chapter 16

Nessie

I heard a scream and I shot up, bolting to that direction. I ran as fast as I could but my legs felt like they were encased in cement. I was actually sweating. Gross.

I heard the scream again and stopped, knowing who it was this time. Kaleb. I have never really heard him scream in fear or pain but never say never. He was my daughter's imprinter. He was my husband's brother. He was my friend. Yes, we've made a disgusting, horrible mistake. That painful guilt will never go away of how selfish I was by thinking I could choose between Jacob and him. Those actions I couldn't take back no matter how much I begged and cried. Kaleb couldn't take back those choices either. He always said before that I never had a choice when it came to my relationship with Jake. I did. We both did. We were all too stupid and blind to see that beforehand.

His scream sent me into motion and I ran blindly. I swore I was close to him when the sound moved to another direction. Without thinking I turned toward it. It wasn't until I heard that other scream that Kaleb's stopped. This one was a lurch in my heart and my knees buckled.

Jacob!

"Nessie!" he screamed in agony.

Yeah…sorry Kaleb. Husband comes first. He could have the twins.

I dragged myself up and started running, panicky more than blindly. Ever step I took made my legs wobble. Something was deathly wrong with him if he couldn't fend for himself. I had to get to him before I become a widow. Before my twins lose their father.

"I'm coming!" I shouted, hoping that would give him at least some relief.

This time his screams came from so many directions all at once. I didn't know which one was real or which one was an echo. They all seemed the same to me. The original came in the wrong direction. Getting confused won't help. I can't save them if I only get myself into more trouble.

"Momma!"

My head snapped in that direction. Oh my God…that was my son!

"Sage!" I shouted. Jacob would want me to save Sage. But where was Grace? They were hardly ever apart. Even when they were in dangerous situations.

I ran to Sage, leaving Jacob's echoing screams behind me. Only they followed. Choosing between my husband and my son could have torn me in two but I didn't. Jacob and I made an agreement that they would come first. We promised each other a long time ago. I was going to make sure to keep that promise.

Sage's started to echo too. Great. This was creepy and strange at the same time. I couldn't stop and hesitate though. Not when the possibility of my children are being hurt-or worse…killed. I refuse to accept that. I go before them!

I turned east, kicking it into an even higher gear. I had to get to him. I had to find Grace. I had to make sure they were alive and then I would get them to safety before I help anybody else. I hated for it to be that way but it had to be. If people didn't like it, oh freaking well.

I tripped over something and tumbled to the ground. I swore and got up when my eye caught something small. A body. A body that I could clearly tell who it was. A body that I didn't want to admit that was lying too still and too cold.

I turned my little girl over and shrieked in pain and loss. Tears pooled my eyes and I let them fall. I pushed her ebony waves out of her face, seeing her lifeless, cinnamon, brown eyes staring up at the sky. Her creamy tan skin was colorless. Dead…

Oh my Grace! My Grace Isabelle! My trouble making, bubbly, determined, demanded honesty daughter! I didn't save her! I was such a horrible mother!

I cuddled her closer as I looked up to see where I was at. A battlefield. Purple smoke filled my view of the area as I saw dozens upon dozens of bodies strewn around. My family, our friends, my wolves, the Volturi, Stefan and Valdimir, humans and vampires I had no clue of knowing, and my human family. This was a graveyard and nobody won.

I saw Kaleb's lifeless body and my stomach dropped. I didn't save him. I didn't save Grace and I didn't save him. I saw Jacob's torn body and choked on a sob. He could not have fought this alone. He might have been worried about me and the twins. We were his weakness and his strength. We were what killed him.

I finally let out a full scream when I saw Sage. My twins were dead! I was their mother and I couldn't save them! I made a vow to protect them. I was the one who was supposed to go first. They were supposed to have a long life ahead of them. They were my reasons to get up in the morning and go to sleep at night. They were my reasons to dream, love, and hope. Without them I have none of that. They can't be gone!

I collapsed to the ashen ground and sobbed. Was this some sick joke? Was this payback for all the bad things I've done? Somebody please tell me! You have taken away my family, my children, and now you have taken the breath away from me! I hope you're happy!

"Nessie! Renesmee, it's okay."

I jumped awake, breathing heavy. It was dark out. Where was I? Was I still in the ashen graveyard, sobbing over my dead husband and children? No. My vision cleared and I saw Jacob. The first stupid thought that popped up in my mind was that he looked funny without his wedding band on. Then again I still am half asleep.

He must have saw how awful I looked and wrapped me up, rocking me back and forth. I realized I was sobbing. Or more than sobbing if you want to have the total honesty deal. I was a wreck. I felt useless. I didn't know whether I should try to stay calm and break down afterwards, or just scream and cry. I'm going to go with a happy medium of both so I can keep some sanity in the end.

"It's okay." He whispered in my hair. "It's okay."

I scoffed through my tears and raw, burning throat. It wasn't okay. My babies were missing and we were here doing nothing. Why can't we scrounger the whole freaking world to find them?! Why did we have to form a plan?! I don't care about planning! I need to find my son and daughter!

I pushed him away. "Are you insane?!" I shouted though my tears. "Nothing is okay! How can you say that?! Why are we even here?! We need to find them! They could be dead by now!"

An image crossed my mind. One I didn't really want to see. My Sage and Grace…cold and lifeless. They would be in coffins…we would be crying over them…it would be all our fault that we get to have a life when they don't. We would let them die! We're letting them die!

"It's our fault." I whispered. I felt insane. "We're letting them die."

Jacob took in my shaking body and wild eyes. "What? Baby, you're not making any sense."

I grabbed Jacob's face, tears coming down. "They're dead! We're letting them die! We get to live while they are going to grow cold and rot away!"

I projected him what I imagined. We were both exhausted mentally and physically. It was taking a toll on all of it. I wanted to blame him because it was his idea of going out that night, but I have to share the blame too. Ethan and Emma are dead because of us. Sage and Grace are in danger because of us. My marriage to their father is falling apart because of us.

"You're right." He huffed. "We're losing precious seconds of saving them by bearing here. After you take a breather and I handle with Jordan, we'll leave. Screw rational thinking"

Jake stood up and I wobbly got up with him. He was right. We needed to continue our search further than the United States. We all needed to chip in to search the area. I'm tired of thinking rationally like everybody tells me to do. They think we need to pin point who it was, grab our fighting buddies, and prepare for battle. That would take too long. By then they could be dead.

I nodded and he kissed my forehead. There was a coldness between us. A coldness that we just put on the backburner. "We'll see them again." He whispered.

I noticed he didn't say anything about us seeing them alive. Or even that we would come out of this alive. I could see why. Those might turn into lies later. If it turns into a fight then we would definitely lose people. We would lose either way. Nobody would win even if we get the twins.

I shook my head as if to get rid of the thought. "Jake, I love you but…if they die…"

He cupped my cheek. "I know. I understand. They're our life. I would too."

Jacob wrapped his arms around. We should be packing to leave, not crying, wondering if our twins were dead or alive; but I saw my husband's point. We had planning to do. Damn planning and thinking rationally.

"Jacob?" I asked, wiping my tears away that fell down again. "What about your school?"

"How can I go? Not when they're missing and everything is unsafe for everybody." He answered.

"But you're so close-"

"You expect me to continue on with my life when my son and daughter may lose theirs?!"

I closed my eyes. "You're right. I'm sorry."

"I'll go back when I can. I'll explain that I had a dire family emergency. Maybe with the Cullens as my in laws I won't lose too much."

It felt foreign to smile but I did, yet it was mere and small. I use to think we were safe and our battle was done. I was wrong. It just started.

~~~~~ Forever ~~~~~

We walked through the door to a tense house. They would disagree with us but I didn't care anymore. We should have kept the twins more sheltered. We should have-

I felt a nudge and I jumped. It was from Jacob. He inclined his head towards Grandma. Everybody looked at me, I guess expecting me to answer something. How could I answer when I didn't even hear the question? Even then I couldn't bring myself to ask what the question was. They were stuck in my throat.

"We haven't found anything. We're just wasting our time." Jacob answered for me.

"Jacob and I are leaving!" I blurted. They're so going to think we're idiots. "Sitting here and doing nothing is not getting them back. So we're taking the search further."

"You can't." Alice said. "If I can see them…you have to realize that it's a suicide mission."

"Then at least I'm doing something. It's my choice. They're my children." I snapped.

"Renesmee, Jacob, leaving now will cause things to become longer in searching. It will be like a needle in a haystack. Only a few know of the existence."

"What if it's the Volturi? They'll have you slaughtered."

I was done having this conversation. They should at least understand that I need to something than feel useless.

"I don't give a damn about that!" Jacob exploded. He shook and breathed heavy, clenching and unclenching his fist. I didn't bother to calm him down when I felt the same way. I just wrapped my arms tighter around myself.

Even though I knew there was a chance we would never find them, it was still painful to hear my family talk as if we weren't going to find them. I needed strength when all I got was weakness. Even now as my legs flopped and I gave out onto a chair. I just woke up yet I felt so exhausted. Like I could go right back to sleep. I wanted to scream. The walls felt like they were closing in around me. No matter what I did I couldn't push them back. I had a ticking timer in my head, and every time I closed my eyes it kept ticking, reminding me of the time we were losing.

"We'll find them." Momma thought, bringing me into her embrace. Oh how I wish she could just make this better with a swipe of her hand.

I was too tired to project but was surprised when I spoke. "Why can we think that they alive for one just second!? For mine and Jacob's sake, please tell me that I'll have them in my arms again alive! I don't care who dies! I don't care who I have to sacrifice or what I have to do, but they will have a life! Compared to all of us, we've done lived enough. It's their turn!"

The tears spilled down as I tried to focus on our family portrait. Their smiles…will I ever hear them again? Will I hear Grace's laugh or Sage's gift of music? Will we ever be a family again? A safe, whole family?

I got up and fled upstairs. My heart told me to move and start packing. Funny how the heart tells the mind what to do. I use to curse this horrible thing beating in my chest. Right now I trusted it that it was leading me to the right decision. I felt that way so many years ago when I broke up with Jacob and look where that put us. But at this point I took anything because my mind was so useless.

I stood in the spot where I found Emma's lifeless, drained body. I've seen plenty of dead bodies in my lifetime, but now that I'm a mother it's harder to look at. Emma was so young-her and Ethan were. We were close to them. All the people that died throughout this journey didn't need to die. They died because of us-because of our stupidity.

Because of my carelessness.

I stopped at Sage and Grace's room. It seemed now as I was standing and deciding which room to go in first, I was picking favorites. I couldn't decide. I wish my body would just split in two so I could go into them at the same time. I wish I could find my babies so I can carry them into these rooms.

I went into Grace's room first. Her scent hit me like a baseball. I had to place my hand on the wall to steady myself. My Grace Isabelle…my trouble making, my trickster, my bubbly, energetic daughter. She demanded total honesty and I didn't give it to her. Now I wish I did.

I grabbed her favorite things: her wolf. Jacob brought them home for the twins where they were our little rambunctious toddlers. She's loved it ever since.

I pulled it close to my chest and sat down on her bed. Her dream hung on her headboard. Sage and Grace started their own habit of kissing it before going to sleep. They swore up and down that it helped keep the bad dreams away while the good spirits watched over them. I use to think they spent too much time listening to Billy's stories. I would laugh when they insisted that it was true. But I let them listen while Jacob didn't want them to. Now I think Jacob wasted his time making them because we were living a nightmare.

I smelt the room one last time before walking out. I clutched her wolf tight to my chest and walked across the hall to Sage's room. My Sage Edward. My determined, patient, go with the flow, piggy, protective, gift with music, son. He balanced Grace out. She was fire and he was water. He kept everybody calm. I wish he was here because we forgot what calm meant.

I grabbed his favorite blanket. He wraps up in it every morning. It was full of his scent. Their woodsy-lavender scent. It smelt delicious to my burning throat but yet calmed my wiry nerves.

"Tell me where you are, angels. Please." I asked, hoping that I would find an answer in the walls. That I would see them magically appear and tell me who did this. That I'll just…know.

Another tear slid down and I knew I had to get out of here before I fully break. If I fully break nobody could get me to do anything. I rushed out and ran to our room. I crouched down on the floor, clutching the items to my chest. I felt cold. I even rocked back and forth like a crazy person. All I needed to do was cover my ears and hum and I could go to the nut house.

I grabbed my locket and opened it. I saw my twins smiling. They were happy. Maybe if we didn't go out that night…maybe if we sheltered them more…I wanted to do so many things different. I needed to. I am their mother. I am supposed to protect them and now look what has happen! I hope they're smiling now. I doubted it but it never hurts to imagine. I hope they know how much their daddy and I love them. I know it doesn't seem like it but we do. They were our glue. They came to the earth in an extremely hard time for us and made it brighter. They made us-made me-grow up. I've learned so much in the past seven year of being their mother than any of my own experiences.

I dragged myself up and headed to our closet. I yanked suitcases down. I needed to pack for me and Jacob, pack clothes for the twins, a first aid kit, food possibly, and all our special documents just in case. I hoped it would never come down to that case where we separate again. It's a shame I can't dream anymore because I'm already living in my worst nightmare possible.

"Ness?" I heard a voice say. Jacob.

He appeared in the entrance of the closet. I stopped yanking clothes off hangers and looked at him. He's in as much pain as I was. As much guilt too. He used to hold his shoulders back, stood straighter. He had the physique of a model yet stood proud and strong like a leader. He stood as someone who was proud to show off how much he loved his hot wife and beautiful son and daughter. Now it was different. He stood hunched, as if the weight of the world was too much for him to carry and he was about to give way. The stubble on his face showed the roughness. The dark circles under his eyes from not sleeping made the bloodshot eyes from crying stand out. He looked old. Old and tired.

I could feel that this was making him as sick as I was. We had the guilt and the agony and we couldn't do anything with it. It was choking us to death. We could bear to eat without wondering if our twins were being taken care of. Were they getting a meal? Did they have a soft bed? Do they have blankets to keep them warm if they get cold?

"Yes?" I answered.

"Alice had a vision of the Volturi."

"And?" I pressed. "What's happening?"

He came forward, wrapping me in his embrace. "Well, since she can see them they're obviously clear. They're mostly focused on the rebellion."

I buried my face in his chest. "What else?"

"She's trying to see. She's running into a few roadblocks. She said she'll let us know any locations that come up as a red flag."

I gripped him tighter. That's still not bringing the twins closer to home. "What are you going to do?"

"Me?"

I looked at him. Undoubtedly he would have responsibilities dealing with the pack. Getting our babies back would be a battle. Our marriage is on the rocks. Jacob can't handle all of this like he could before being bitten. What if Jordan goes on a bloody rampage again? I projected so many worries to him that I'm shocked he wasn't getting a headache from it all.

"Don't worry about me, the pack, or Jordan. You need to focus on one thing and one thing only."

I felt his breath tickle my neck. I huffed and my stomach rumbled again, followed by a burning in my throat which brought more nausea that I've been having all day. What was wrong with me?

Jake laughed and pulled away. "You need to eat and hunt."

"I will once we get Sage and Grace." I snapped, regretting it when I saw him flinch.

"You need to keep your strength up."

"You do too but I don't see you doing anything."

"I said don't worry about me."

I slammed him against the wall, hissing. I held him there and snarled. "I lost my kids. They may be dead for who knows. They die, then I might as well die too. So don't you dare pull away from me now when I need you the most! I have them taken from me. I don't need to lose you too!"

I would dare say at this point we were losing everything. Our twins were taken so it was right to say we were. They were gone, our marriage was falling apart, our family was breaking, and our home was ransacked. Everything was just…wrong and I didn't know how to fix it.

Jacob cupped my cheek, guilt filling in his dark eyes. "There's something I need to tell you." He whispered. Oh crap. "The documents…they're missing. Everything to get them away is missing. Whoever took them obviously wanted to know where we were taking them if it became too dangerous."

I was really going to throw up now. Our only hope of getting the twins away safely were gone. But didn't he tell me this sooner? I was his wife! They were my kids! I was so going to kill him.

I pushed Jacob. "Why didn't you tell me this the moment you found out?!" I shouted.

"I told Bella and-"

That was the wrong answer to say. "You told my mother, but you wouldn't tell me?!"

"I didn't want to worry you. You were focused on the twins so I…" Jacob stopped, seeing I really wasn't going to hear any excuses from him.

I backed away from him, suddenly disgusted. He chose not to tell me about this? We were in a situation where every move we make can change everything. He needed to tell me this! We were a team!

"Nessie, I'm sorry. There's so much going on that I couldn't think." Jacob pleaded, his dark eyes begging for me to understand.

He took a step towards me but I took another step away from him. He shouldn't be near me right now. Not when I was having very ugly and dangerous thoughts about him. "You really don't need to be around me right now. I'm so mad at you, and that's the nicest way I can even put it."

Jake looked down. "I'm sorry. I didn't think."

Something smart was on my tongue when Kaleb barged in, in a panic, "Jake! Jordan went to Forks first instead of coming here! He saw his aunt…Carol was at the grave sights when he found out. He killed her and he's on his way to do the same thing to us."