I know, I know. I should have update more, and sooner, now that I am on summer break but I've been busy-and like I said sometime earlier, with my health issues, it's very hard to sit in front of a computer and type. But on a brighter now...I AM A SENIOR! Ah! I'm so excited. Is it like everybody else says? Enjoy it while it last because you'll be wishing you were back in high school years down the road? I'd really like to know the heads up and tips you previous graduates went though.

I'll try to get back to typing now that I got a little spunk in me right now. And plus I have been OBSESSING over the Lunar Chronicles by Marissa Meyer. I'm on Scarlet right now. If you haven't read it yet, I would really recommend. She takes your average fairy tales and turns them around. You kind of get to see that women don't need their prince charming to swoop in and save them at every turn of the page. It's a must read.

Thank you all that have favored me, my story, and are now currently following my stories. You're emails have not went unnoticed during my brief hiatus. If I am still not updating regularly, please understand. I'm not a quitter so I won't be quitting this anytime soon.

See ya!

Chapter 17

Kaleb's point of view

Jacob says that it's his fault. Nessie says that it's hers. I say it's really mine. They are just nice enough to not blame me for not protecting their kids. They trusted me and I let them down. I wish they would just go ahead and blame me. I'm supposed to be a protector. Now that it's hit me I can see why Jake and Nessie are in an emotional wreck. They were barely holding on. Those kids were their lives. They came at a tough time for the both of them. They saved them like they saved me. I let them down when they needed me. I let my brothers down. I let Emma down. I let Jordan down and now he's coming to seek his revenge.

Jake looked up from Nessie to me. They both had tears in their eyes. I didn't know how much they could handle before they lose. We were all going to eventually break down. Just those who can cry are going to have a harder time of showing it.

"What? I thought I told him to come straight here!" Jacob asked, his voice cracking at the end. "I did ask him, didn't I?"

That was strange to ask but since I had a big gaping memory of that night I decided not to judge. Jake was just stretched thin-like Nessie. They're minds weren't sane at the moment. "Yeah, you did. Sam's got him to slow down a little bit but his gag order isn't as strong as yours-plus you've got distance to handle with too."

"Stop acting like everything is normal. I don't care about Jordan right now! I'm worried about my kids!" Jacob snapped.

I took a step back, not wanting a fight. I could understand; but Nessie just looked at him, saying, "You two go. I'll pack and check the airlines if their names come up anywhere. Maybe Alice will find something then." She said. I couldn't help but notice the glare in her eye as she spoke. Mother wolf was coming out. I agree with Jake. She was scar when she was angry.

"Kaleb and Sam can take care of it." Jacob said, looking at me. Stupid Alpha orders.

"But what about finding them?" I creaked out. "All Jordan is going to do is throw a fit."

Jake looked me dead in the eye. It made me want to seep through the floors and go hide. "Don't take grieving as throwing a fit. You should know that as much as we all do."

"Jacob, just go. Kaleb can stay here and help. You need to be there for Jordan." Nessie said. I nodded with agreement. Partially. Maybe I should sit down and think. Maybe I'll know something instead of being useless. I want Sage and Grace to be home safe and happy just like the rest of us. It sucks being away from your imprint, I've learned. I think what sucks the worse is the fact that everything is my fault.

"Over my dead body." Jacob snapped back.

The glare Nessie gave him told me that maybe I should just leave. It even made Jake look afraid. "Trust me, my dear. The mood I'm in that can easily be arranged." She threatened.

That was my turn to leave. "I-I'll be…downstairs." I stammered. I didn't feel like pulling Nessie off of Jacob right now.

I walked downstairs when I started to hear the yelling. Okay. She wasn't that angry if she was yelling. Then a few seconds later it turned quiet and Jacob swore. The whole house let out a quiver. Maybe I did need to go break up the fight. Oh well. If they kill each other, it'll be their fault.

"Good luck." I warned the Cullens.

"Where are you going?" was what Edward asked instead.

I honestly didn't know. "Beats me. I'm just trying to feel…useless I guess."

I haven't felt that in years but at least I could run around aimlessly, hear the lies my brothers tell me, and try to remember the gaping hole I can't remember.

And with that Edward got up and followed me. I guess he feels the same way.

"Yes, I do. Everybody does." He answered.

Right. The mind reading thing. Like I could forget about that.

Edward smirked at my unspoken sarcasm. I wished I had Grace and Sage now more than ever. There was no privacy around here and it was already getting old. I would take the pain of Grace's shield just to have my own thoughts.

"Just to have them back, I would take the pain too."

"Do you think we'll get them back?" I finally asked.

"TO stay optimistic, yes; but if who took them is who I think it is, our odds are stacked against us."

"Who do you think-"

"Stefan and Valdimir. I know it's them."

The leeches over the rebellion. Yeah, that made our job a lot more difficult. "How do you know this? How do they even know Sage and Grace exist?"

"Someone that's close to us. A spy? It could easily happen. Jake's at school, Nessie's at home, and the twins are at school. It's a perfect chance."

"But why would they take them? What do seven year olds have to offer?"

"A pawn for us to join maybe. Anger or revenge."

It would explain it. Leeches coming from everywhere trying to kill me, I couldn't move without being dragged down. I had no shot of reaching the twins in time. I remember I felt pain and fell to the ground. I heard the screams that always plague my mind. I saw white light, and then the next thing I know I've woken up to destruction.

"Did you see anybody you might have recognized?" Edward asked.

I thought back. "No…maybe…I don't know! I only had one agenda at the time being." It was true. "How do you think-"

"Alice can't see them or us." Was all he said. Well, thanks Sherlock. Isn't that obvious since we have several Alice couldn't see.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"If it goes into a battle with them, or even the Volturi, we would need a lot of help and preparations. That could take weeks, maybe even months, and that is even hoping the Volturi doesn't get their hands on them first. We don't even know if our friends will side with us again."

It sucked to hear the truth, but he had a point. The more help we get, the more of a chance we are able to get Sage and Grace back. It sucked to hear the truth that it might take longer than we wanted. Others were thinking logically but Nessie and Jake weren't. I wanted to think logically yet I also wanted the twins back. I was terrified with the thought of losing my family. At that point my mind was on split in two.

"We have to tell-"

"Not just yet. Not when Renesmee and Jake are like this. They'll either get killed or kill each other."

I was about to answer when we heard Jake's booming voice yell and Nessie's voice right behind it. Oh crap.

"You're such a coward, Jacob Black. You'd rather take care of others than find your son and daughter!"

"I have other lives to think about, Renesmee! I'm sorry I'm not as wonderful as you, my dear wife!"

I winced. There was no way they were going to stop snapping at each other, or themselves, until all of this is finished. I was feel horrible if something happens to my imprint and her brother. I just hate to think that my brother could die. It didn't matter if something happen to me just as long as my family was okay. My brother was the better person. My brother can take care of our little sister. He's able to fight our father. It'll make Mom proud.

I heard Edward huff. "Here we go again." He mumbled.

"What?" I asked. "They've argued this bad before?"

"Oh, yeah. It almost ruined their relationship. They had to learn like the rest of us that no relationship is perfect."

I shivered, remembering the times I would phase and Jake would still be fuming over an argument. Me being there was an ever constant reminder that I didn't want to imprint on his daughter. Who wants to hear that their daughter wasn't good enough for somebody?

I nodded. Enough was said. I followed Edward to where the two were fighting. I had no clue what side to take. I had my Alpha and the mother of my imprint and my friend. Both were kind of scary. My best bet was to just stay out of it.

Jake shook but so did Nessie. I knew that Jake couldn't handle as much due to the venom intake, but Nessie can't take much more either. She's a mother. I mean, I don't know what it's like to have a child in danger but I know it sucks when someone you love is. Those kids were their world and they might not live to see another day.

"Renesmee, Jacob-" Edward tried to say. He went completely ignored.

"Uh…guys?" I started to say when little five foot nine Nessie got in seven foot Jacob's face.

Edward stopped me from separating them. It was a force of habit. "It might not be best-"

We were cut off by the conversation. "If you don't like how I'm handling things then just leave. Divorce me if you want! You'll get everything either way!" Jacob shouted.

"You know what? That sounds like a wonderful idea! I'll take everything, and if you keep pushing, I will never let you see your son and daughter again!"

He whirled around. "You wouldn't dare." He growled.

"I would and you know it."

"Guys-"

"Yeah, like I knew you were the one screwing around with your daughter's imprinter."

Now I might lose my temper on that one. Yes, it took me a while to realize my mistakes, but it was better late than never. Yes, I was an ass for the most part. Not only has it ruined me and Nessie, its ruined Sage and Grace, my sister, Kyle and Leah, my brothers, and Jake. Why can't the past just die? I get sick every time I think of it. It tortures me so I know it tortures Nessie too.

"Jacob-"

"Yes, I did cheat on you. Yes, I didn't tell you. You have no clue how much I the guilt I go through every day. I know I betrayed your trust. I get sick over it! But you're no saint either so don't go pointing the finger at me. It'll be your fault when something happens! It was your fault I lost that baby, and it'll be your fault when Sage and Grace die!"

That was a low blow on Renesmee's part but what happen next would make everybody's mouth drop. I knew Jacob worshiped the ground she walked on but what she did…holy crap! Can an imprinted marriage really get a divorce? I mean, I guess since we suck at choosing love some creepy feeling has to do it for us.

Jacob's hand reached out and slapped Nessie's cheek hard. She was part vampire, but wow, that must have hurt. I even felt it as she tumbled back, cupping her cheek. Her face was pure shock while Jake's was pure horror. He looked at his hand as if it was a creature going to eat his face off. All could do was stare with my mouth open. At least Edward did something more productive. At least he punched Jacob in the gut. Okay…it was more like beating the crap out of him. I could hear bones crack and then Jake phase. I knew I should at least help somebody but it seemed Nessie needed someone too.

I walked over to her, slowly putting my hand on her shoulder as if she were some wild animal that bolted at the sign of human contact. Her hand still covered that part of her face as she shook, trying to hide a sob I'm assuming. Eventually she just collapsed and sobbed into my chest. I guess she didn't care who I was just as long as I held her to keep from collapsing. She was that bad shaking.

"Ness?"

"I can't believe he did that! Scratching my arm, yeah, I can understand. Growling at me, I get a warning. They were accident. But he deliberately…maybe I deserve it. I didn't stop. I pushed it too far and ran my mouth too much."

I brought her in a hug. One of the girl's I use to "date" dad use to hit her mom. Then being raised with my grandparents I use to see my grandfather slap my grandmother in the face a few time. No woman deserves to be a punching bag. I can't stand people who do that. All it starts out to be is a slap…

"No woman deserves to be a punching bag." I whispered in her ear.

Another sob erupted out of Nessie's body. I knew there was so many emotions she was running on but this wasn't like her. Ever since Sage and Grace came along she was ready for a fight-especially when it involved her kids. By now she would already have them back. Something was up…

"We have to find them, Ness." I thought to her.

I know. We'll leave as soon as I…handle some things."

I figured knowing what she needed to do was none of my business. "So you're not waiting for Jake?"

Nessie looked at me, her chocolate eyes bright with tears. I couldn't help but see Grace and that brought tears to my eyes. What if they were dead? Here we are shedding water when they could be drowned in it or whatever.

"I think he made his choice when he took off." She mumbled, looking far off into the woods. I figured she was thinking about Jake when she squeezed my hand and took off. I huffed, wondering how much Jacob was cursing himself. I might as well phase while I can.

There was pain thought my body. More like self-loathing. More than I already had for myself. It clogged my throat and spread throughout my body like a thousand little needles. I hate our stupid connection. It just makes like a whole more miserable. I was going to bring up that something was wrong with Jake's wife but I see Jordan has now thrown a fit. Might as well let him figure it out on his own. I have my own life to screw up.

"You better be lucky that I only a few states away. When I get there I swear I will take everything away from you like you did me! You were supposed to watch over them! I trusted you! They trusted you! You're no Alpha if you can't even protect somebody in your own pack! I hope someday we get somebody that can actually lead. I hope they die."

I growled but Jacob sent me a warning. That little punk is lucky we're not in the same area right now.

"You have no clue how we're all beating ourselves up with this, Jordan. You need to grieve though instead of plan our murder. I'm so sorry. If Nessie and I never left then none of this would happen. I know I suck as an Alpha. You have no clue how much I've told myself that."

"Then why is my brother and sister dead?"

"Because we're idiot. We know who took them and we're not doing one thing about it." I told him. I was tired of these games.

Jacob focused on that as I showed him my conversation with Edward before the big…well, slap. What else could I call it? His possible divorce?

I could tell I got the wrong answer but he kind of did a little worse than I did. So all I could do was apologize. There were no words to apologize to Jordon. We let his brother and sister die. Now karma was going to come back and bite us.

"I'll make sure it will. I will be there to watch as you lose everything-"

"JORDAN! NOT NOW, PLEASE!" Jake snapped.

Jor would try and do something. He was that crazy. But we were a family, right? He can't harm our family. Yet I knew his threats went a lot farther than just the average. But if he touches my family, I'll kill him. I swear, I will!

Going through this was only getting worse so I phased back. Nessie should be done with the thing she had to do. If Jakey boy wants so see his kids again, he seriously needs to do some kiss up to his wife.

"Kaleb."

Speak of the devil. I turned around and saw Jake in human form. He looked to be in the shape, just add Nessie's mood and times that and then you'll get the exact image of him.

"Is Ness…how is she?" he whispered.

"Oh, like every woman is when you slap them across the face. You must have rattled her brain pretty good." I deadpanned.

"Oh God. What? What happen?"

"She blames herself."

He sucked in a breath and punched a tree. It cracked, falling. I'd really like to do that to him or Jordan right now. Maybe even the idiots who took the twins. Wait. I take that back. I'd like to do a lot more than just punch those idiots who caused all this in the first place.

"You think he's blowing smoke?" I asked, knowing the answer already.

He can't hurt the ones we love. He can't hurt an imprint. That's the ultimate betrayal that most likely results in death. It would be even worse than mine and Nessie's affair. He would be sick to harm a child. Jordan was crazy but how far would he go to seek revenge. He should have never been given the ability to phase. He's abused it too much.

"I don't know. I hope not. I told him to spend some time grieving. Maybe if he just stops and clears his head…" Jake trailed but we both knew the answer. Jordan would never clear his head. He wants to get revenge. We let him down. We let Ethan and Emma down. We let the twins down. To think about it, we let everybody down.

"I need to see Renesmee." Jake breathed, most likely thinking out loud.

Grief can make you do some crazy things. I knew it then and I know now. I love Grace and Sage. They can't die. Jordan can't hurt my family. The leeches can't kill them. I've been the happiest I've been in years. I don't want it to vanish because of one wrong choice.

I've did a lot of wrong things in my life. I am now paying for them. Nobody else should. Not Grace, not Sage, not my sister, not my brother. I thought everything would be okay. I finally found the happiness I've wanted. I wish I knew how wrong I was beforehand. Maybe I would have handled things a lot differently if I knew then what I know now.

If I can only remember that night….we can't get to them because of me! We're acting like blind mice running from a cat. It was stupid!

I wished that I had a reset button to hit during certain times of my life. I would change things. I would do better things. I would be a better person. I'd want to reset the night my mother died, or when my father left us, or even the night there was a wedge between me and my brother. I would change that thought that I could have Nessie for myself. But the one wish I had right now was to reset that night. That night would be the game changer for all.

To bad I don't know the rules yet