Here's another chapter for your guys. Not much to say here only that sometimes I hate microsoft sometimes. This chapter was going to be up last night but somehow I lost half of what i typed due to I guess microsoft didnt save it when I swore I saved it ALL. Oh well. It's here on Sunday. Or Monday-or whatever day you read this. Whatever makes ya'll happy.

You are enough. You are so enough. It is unbelievable how enough you are.

Chapter 24

Nessie's point of view:

"Fine! Leave! It doesn't matter! Your promises are worthless anyway!" I shouted, chasing after Jacob as he ran down the stairs, late for school.

The twins were screaming, which didn't help our fighting. Our fighting made the twins' screaming worse. It was just a back and forth thing. Grace's shield was out so that added gasoline to the fire. Nothing was helping.

Jacob whirled around. "I'm sorry, Renesmee, if I don't jump when you say so. This is your fault too. You wanted another one!" he yelled.

I cursed when Grace yanked at my hair. I sat her down, rubbing my face. "All I ask is that you help me out! You don't have class right now. Please, Jake, I promise it'll only be until my morning sickness passes." I begged.

Jacob huffed. We had babies screaming, we were fighting, I was sick. I didn't care when I got the help. I just needed it and I hated to ask my family.

"I can't, Ness. I'm sorry." Jacob answered.

That's it! He's blew me off all this week. We're about to have another baby. I need the help right now. Not all of the time. Maybe an hour or so until the worst of my morning sickness passes. That's all I needed. From then on he can do whatever he wanted.

"Fine!" I shouted. "Don't be a father!"

I spun around and headed into the living room where I gasped. No. Please, no. Why must this day start off so horrible? Why couldn't the twins draw me pretty pictures on paper instead of the walls?

"Sage! Grace! You can't draw on the walls!" I said, trying to sound stern when I was secretly breaking down inside.

"We made for you, Mommy." Grace said, smiling, proud of her work.

"You don't draw on the walls." I scolded.

I took away the markers and of course it was a fight. Grace threw a fit and Sage threw a ball at a vase. It of course shattered. And did Jacob help me? No? All he did was hold Sage.

"Could you at least help me scrub this off?" I snapped.

"You said I didn't have to be a father."

I would be angry if there wasn't a pain in my stomach. I told myself that it was just nothing. I had two cranky two year olds and a boyfriend who was being ridiculous. I don't have time for this. It was nothing. At least I hoped it was nothing.

Jacob and I argued more. He started heading to the door and I chased after him. "Just leave then! I don't care! You obviously don't either! So get out and just stay out! I don't need you if you don't want us! If your other life is so important to you then just forget about it."

"You think I don't care?! Who has been there for you and your children all this time? Who's making a better life for them? It's not you! But then again I don't prance around pretending I'm so perfect. I wasn't born with a silver spoon in my mouth. I'm not some spoiled brat!"

He backed me up against the wall, gripping my arms painfully tight. "Jake, please. You're hurting me."

"Guess you're not perfect as you put off. Big shocker."

I looked at him with tears in my eyes. "Get out." I hissed. "Get out! I don't want you here ever again!"

I yanked my arms away from him. This wasn't doing us any good. If we were going to band-aide it then I didn't want to do it anymore. We were horrible parents and we were horrible together. Sage, Grace, and this baby…they don't need to be in an environment like this. I can't handle it and neither can Jake. How can we be good parents if we can't even stand to be with each other?

"Whatever you say, my dear. I'll be back later to get my stuff." He said and then walked out the door.

Here's the difference between us. I display my feelings when I'm upset. Jacob's can easily be seen in his eyes. His stature and moves put off to show that he doesn't care but his eyes tell a different story. Those dark, beautiful eyes showed pain and hurt when I called out to him.

"So that's it? You're just going to leave like that?" I ask.

"You wanted me to. I strive to please you." He said with hurt sarcasm.

I wished I could take those words back. "Don't go. Don't leave us like this. Jake, I'm sorry."

"Renesmee, you don't need this. You nor the twins. Frankly, I don't either."

"So what? Just because we fight you're going to give up on us?" I couldn't help but ask.

"Count it as payback." He shrugged.

I pushed him. That was low and he knows it. That's why he said it. "I hate you! Don't ever try to see me or your children again!"

"Gladly! Just to get away from you!"

I slammed the door and then plopped onto the floor, starting to cry. Was I doing the right thing? I never pictured it to be this hard. I know the twins are just going through the terrible twos, but I was seriously doubting my mothering skills. I lock myself up in a bathroom and cry. I love them with all my heart though. If I suck at raising these two, how am I going to handle another one? I'll have to handle it with three kids…alone.

And what about Jacob? What was this mess we were in? We have the life we've always wanted and we have it with each other. Why couldn't we have just one big fairy tale ending? Was he really going to leave this time? Were we blowing smoke like always? If this is what a life with Jacob was really going to be like, then I don't want it. I will not have my children inside this mess.

I was finally able to put Grace down to take her nap like her brother. It was a fight as always but I could understand why they were so cranky. Their mommy and daddy decided to be idiots and wake them up. They were just showing how mad they were at us.

I kissed her cheek and smoothed out her hair, smiling. Yes, my twins were spoiled and bad but I made them that way. I wouldn't change any of it. Just because I'm a bad mother it doesn't mean I don't love them. I want them to have the best parents. Sadly, they're stuck with idiots.

"I love you, my sweet girl." I whispered. All she did was turn her head and sigh in her sleep.

I chuckled lightly and went to check on her brother. I sat down on the side of his bed and kissed him too. "I love you too, my wonderful son." I whispered in his ear, kissing his curls.

Quietly leaving the room, I went to do laundry. As I was folding the twins' clothes I thought about this new baby. Were we ready for this child?

I tried to bend down to pick the basket a sharp went through my stomach. I dropped the clothes and fell down on my knees. I hoped it would go away but I never did. They just kept coming, making my cry out in pain. Something was happening and my phone was downstairs. I didn't want to move. It hurt too much.

I forced myself to stand and walk to my room. We had the house phone. I could call Jacob from there. If…I could make it first.

I ended up crawling, grabbing the phone when I felt blood run down my leg. Oh, please no! This can't be what I think it is. I can't be miscarrying.

I pleaded for Jacob to pick up as the pain continued. I bit back another cry when I heard him answer. "Hello?"

I was in so much pain that I didn't want to speak. What if the twins see me like this? "Jake?" I moaned as another pain shot through me. I curled into a little ball. What was I suppose to do? I've never had a miscarriage. What should I do?!

"Nessie, what's wrong? Are the twins-"

"I need you to come home." I said, crying.

"Why?"

I hesitated, biting my arm to take my mind away from the pain at hand for just a few minutes. "I'm having a miscarriage."

I jumped awake, breathing heavy. That was my dream? My miscarriage? I was okay now. I now understand things I didn't understand before. The stuff I didn't know I couldn't let myself get worried over. Amazing how some pretty bad experiences can change your whole way of thinking.

Everybody was still sleeping. My beautiful husband, son, and daughter were all here. We were in a hospital but at least we were all together. Our puzzle was finally whole again.

I raised up only to snap back down when pain erupted in my. I panicked, thinking I was miscarrying again. When I looked down I saw the hole in my chest, my heart pumping in a way it shouldn't be pumping, with blood pouring out of my chest. There I saw Finn in the doorway, laughing.

I convulsed in the bed as he spoke, "Oh, Renesmee. You know that you nor your family will never be safe again. I promise that."

This time I did shoot up from the bed, coughing and breathing heavy. I felt warm hands touch me and I blinked, seeing Jacob. I touched my chest. Everything was okay. I was alive when I knew I shouldn't be. My twins saved my life by putting theirs at risk. Why did they have to do that?

"Jake…the baby…and I was…"

"It's okay. The baby is fine, remember? It was just a dream."

I looked at my sleeping angels. It wasn't a dream. All of it happen. Even when he's dead Finn still haunted us. My twins were traumatized, and frankly, I was too. Where did that leave Jake? I knew something else was going on and he wasn't telling me. He went through the same stuff I did and he's not saying anything.

"How are you not freaking out?" I mused. "You were bit. Shouldn't you-"

He cut me off. "Trust me, I do. But when you hold your dead wife in your arms, you kind of learn real quick to keep it cool."

His sly smile made me relax and I wrapped my arms around his neck. He buried his head in the crook of my neck. I felt so sorry for him. All in one day he got his children back and then became a widower in only a matter of minutes. Sure, we argue. Sure, we say things we don't mean, but death makes it a different game. You can go way over the limit and still feel like you never did anything with them.

"Is it wrong to think we'll never be okay? That we'll always be looking over our shoulder or keeping the twins close?" I whispered.

He huffed. "I don't know. For them, though, we need to think we're okay."

I scoffed and then realized I asked a question I didn't expect to come out of my mouth? "Did you mean it? Slapping me?"

He looked at me with a pained expression. "No! Of course not!" he stated, backing out of my hold. "I was upset and I…I don't know. There's really no excuse."

I crossed my arms, feeling suddenly cold when I knew that was impossible, turning to look at my kids. "I've been thinking about us."

"Uh oh." Jake whispered, trying to smile. It was a failure.

"Death kind of makes you think of things." I whispered. I looked at my sleeping twins, brushing hair out of my face. "We did everything wrong, didn't we?"

I saw Jacob's face illuminated by the moonlight. "Maybe we did things too fast, but wrong? No. I don't technically call having them two as wrong."

No, it wasn't. But we were too fast. I was engaged and pregnant before even graduating high school. I was cheating on Jacob with his Beta and then had the nerve to run. Instead of starting it slow like we planned on it, we jumped back into locked lips like before. The twins coming into this world was amazing-and maybe the only that kept us together. We've always been if you go, I go. We can't do that now. Jacob understood that and so did.

I projected him everything I thought of. I was so angry at him for slapping me yet I wanted to run up and kiss him. I called it pregnancy hormones but it might because I would have never saw him again. That just for this one moment we were all okay. We'll go home and spend time as a family.

I saw Jacob look out of the widow. "Great minds thing alike. I've been thinking about that too."

I put my hand on my stomach. "So what happens now?"

He bit his lip. He was so beautiful-almost too beautiful if that was possible. Now I know why my children are so beautiful. But we're not perfect. We've made mistakes. Yet it was our kids who were our saving graces.

"Start over?"

I shook my head. "No. We can't do that. We have two kids and one on the way. Not much starting over we can do."

"You're right. Got any ideas."

I wrapped my arms around his neck when he moved closer to me. "We try to save what we have."

He gave a cold, whisper laugh. "I slapped you, Renesmee. What can we save?"

I laid my head on his chest. "We tried to save our relationship with me acting so horrible to you."

"And look where that has gotten us."

He's got a point. We've put a band-aid over a gushing wound for so long that it's gotten infected. "We have so much to fight for, Jacob. We can't give up now. If we were we should have thought of it before all of this."

I felt him kiss my hair. "I have this second chance and I don't want to waste it. I know you're angry with me-I'm angry with myself-but I'm willing to try if you are."

I kissed his cheek, giving him his answer. We'll figure this out. I love Jacob too much to lose him. But first he needed to phase or we weren't going to get anything accomplished. "Jake, go phase.'

'I'm fine."

"No, you're not.. Go before it turns daylight."

He gave me my favorite grin. "You act like I'm a real one."

"Well, you have fur, four legs, and a wagging tail. You sort of are. I was just saying that because you have two little one who will be up soon."

I had him there. "I'll go once you go back to sleep." He said.

I bit my lip. I was wide awake now. I was scared those nightmares would haunt me like they do everybody else. My kids can't have a traumatized mommy when they're traumatized themselves. I have this second chance because of them. I have to be a mom no matter what.

"What would you have done if it didn't work?" I asked my husband.

Jacob looked down, playing with his ring. "What else would I have done? I was going to bury you, pack up the twins, and move. I would have also stopped phasing so they could have a normal dad."

So he could be with me without deliberately taking himself away from our angels. I tried to imagine his jet black hair turning gray but couldn't see it. He's always been young and beautiful. Yet is that why he won't phase? He's either afraid to or he can't. Either way he won't tell me.

"Is that why you don't want to phase is because you can't?" I quizzed. I tried to project but I couldn't. It was a part of me and I was still too weak-or dead-to do it. I found it strange.

"I don't know. I've been a little busy." He said, actually smiling and it was only because he looked at our beautiful son and daughter.

"I'll love you either way."

Jacob shut down the conversation when he said, "I'm going to go for a walk. Are you going to be okay by yourself?"

"When are we going to talk?"

He hesitated. "Once we get Sage out of here we will. We can't put it off any longer. If we do, I'm afraid I'll lose more than you."

I nodded and he walked out. I laid back down with the kids, knowing he was right. He would lose the twins too. If we never work out I would never keep him away from his kids. But I wanted us to work out. He has to regain my trust like I did with him. We can't be Romeo and Juliet anymore. We can't be my parents. We did that and look where that has gotten us. It'll be hard to restart our relationship but I'm ready to do the hard work. My family was worth fighting for.

~~~~~~ Forever ~~~~~~

"Sage is out of the hospital! Sage is out of the hospital!" my daughter sang, skipping around.

I was laying on the couch, still weak from when Jacob and I brought Sage "home" from the hospital, watching my daughter skip around as if nothing happen. Jake sat back on a smaller couch next to me with Sage curled up on his chest. Everything seemed perfect. It was for now until the twins don't see us and they remember what happen. Until I close my eyes and see a gapping hole in my chest. It was perfect until Jacob shies away from us talking or phasing. These things do happen when you go through a traumatic experience. But why did they have to happen to my family?

Sage sighed and rolled his eyes. "I'm right here, Gracie." He said.

Grace stopped skipping, something her doctor warned us not to let her do, and looked at her brother. "I know. That's why I was going."

Just like that Grace was back to her typical self. I couldn't help but smile. My little family was amazing. My husband, my son, my daughter, and this unborn baby inside me At this moment I didn't care if we had to look over our shoulders for the rest of our lives. Right now we were safe and happy to be together again. That was the main thing.

"Could you do it any louder?" Sage mumbled.

She smiled slyly. "Actually-"

"Don't even think about it, Grace Isabelle." I said sternly. Jake snickered, which earned him a glare too.

Grace huffed and laid down on the couch with me, crawling under the blanket that I had wrapped around my body. "I've got a question about that. How come you named me Grace Isabelle instead of Grace Isabella like Grandma?"

I kissed her ebony, wavy hair. "Well, I like Isabelle more than I liked Isabella."

"Daddy?"

"I liked it better too. Plus, we thought it would be neat to have our son named after Momma's side of the family and our daughter named after my side."

"Am I like Grandma Sarah?"

He smiled. "On some things."

"Am I like Grandpa Edward? I miss him." Sage said.

"Yeah, me too."

Tears welled up in my eyes. What I would give to have my dead father and my absent mother with us right now. "Sage, Grace, I need to tell you something. Just because you're named after somebody doesn't mean you have to be just like them. Your daddy and I wanted you to be your own person from the moment I became pregnant with you two. We don't want you to feel like you have to live up to anybody. You grow up and make your own decisions. If you ever feel like you have to be just like somebody, me, Daddy, your grandparents, or anybody, you tell us, okay?"

The look on their faces said it all. They were thinking it over. Finally I did something right as a parent! I made my fair share of mistakes and I hope they don't make as close as the ones I've made. I wasn't perfect and I hope, even as young as they are, they know I'm not. I may not be one hundred percent vampire or human, but I wasn't invincible. Dying proves that.

I heard a phone ring. It was obviously mine or Jacob's, unless Kaleb left his by accident, and I doubt that happen. Jake told him to keep it close just in case anything happens.

Jacob got up to answer it but I stopped him, seeing that Jake was passed out. I got up and trudged to my phone. I heard Jacob get up, carrying Sage, and hover over me. I couldn't help but roll my eyes until I saw who was calling me. Why did I let him answer it?

"He-hello?" I asked, answering, my voice shaky.

"Renesmee?" my mother's voice asked hesitantly

Who else sounds like your only daughter? "Yes?"

"I…I just wanted to check on you, Jake, and the kids." She said in a rush.

Do I her everything? "As good as expected. The twins would like to see you." I told her. "How about you? How are you?"

She didn't answer whether she was coming to see her grandchildren or not, nor did she answer how she was doing-which answered my question. "Are you still in Italy?"

"Yeah. We'll stay her for a few more days. Why?"

"Oh. I was just wondering."

Something was up. "Momma? We're going back to Washington so Jacob can finish up a few things with the pack and be with his family before we go home. Do you want to join us? Maybe we could go visit Grandpa Charlie's grave? Or maybe even go visit the meadow Daddy use to take you to. I'm sure the twins would love it this time of the year."

"What type of question is that?! You know I can't go back to there! Renesmee! How stupid can you be! You've lost family too and you want to spend time with Jacob's! I should have known since you loved them more than us!"

That made me flinch, bringing tears to my eyes. I was hoping to ask her if she could help me with the twins until I get the hang of having three kids but that went out the window. "Do you want to come see us tomorrow then? Grandpa gave me a sonogram picture of the baby."

"No. I'm nowhere near your area."

"Well, we'll come to you-"

"No! If it wasn't for you wanting to get those brats back your father would be alive!"

Part of me was angry and part of me was upset as I hung up on her. I slid down to the floor and started to cry for no apparent reason than wanting my mother. She shut my kids out? She blames them? She blames me?

"Hand me the phone." I heard Jacob say. And he wasn't too happy.

"Jake-"

"No. You are not going to take up for her! I am not allowing her to bully you and blame my kids for Edward's death. She's not the only one who lost someone-and as a matter of fact, she should be here with you and her grandchildren. Now hand me the damn phone, Renesmee Black, or I swear…"

I handed him my phone and he stormed out the room, slamming the door in its midst. I didn't bother to wipe the tears away as I pulled myself up off the floor and went to the twins. It didn't sound like her not to see her grandchildren. They were her world. I imagined her to be happy I was finally able to have another one after the my miscarriage. I was so angry at her for blaming my children. Why did my father have to die? Why can't she just grieve like normal people? My babies did nothing wrong. She can blame me all she wants but I'll kill her the next time she blames them. They were the victims in this, not her.