"Leaving boys behind 'cause it's legal just to kill," - Bad Girls, M.I.A.

15

Equinox

Caroline was racing down the highway west out of New Orleans in a convertible she'd compelled for herself upon leaving the city. She was blaring Creedence Clearwater Revival's Fortunate Son as loud as her speakers would let her and she had the top down so she could soak in the warm Louisiana sun.

Some folks are born, made to wave the flag, ooh they're red, white and blue…

She certainly wasn't traveling in the most inconspicuous fashion but, she was going to ditch the car for a new one soon enough. Right now, she just wanted to outrace the emotions chasing her from the city and this car was fast. She pressed down on the accelerator, expertly weaving in between cars as she sped further and further from Klaus. She didn't see any cops on the road and was fully prepared to compel any that might stop her reckless driving. If she'd even need to, that was. She was a sexy blonde, in a sexy car, on a sexy hot summer day, listening to great music. What southern police officer wouldn't be charmed by her?

Unfortunately, she was completely aware that all of these thought processes and voyeuristic actions were just a very poor means of distracting herself from the real issue at hand. She couldn't get her mind off of Klaus. There was a deeply unsettled feeling in the pit of her stomach, almost like she was sick, and it just intensified with each mile she passed out of New Orleans.

The previous evening, after she'd escaped over the rooftops of the city, she'd holed up for a few hours in a random human's house on the outskirts of New Orleans. She'd literally compelled the most impoverished looking human she could find and got herself a safe bed for the next few hours. While her compelled human helpers were sleeping in the room beside her, Caroline had taken out the brunette wig she'd snagged the day she went to get her passport and began to disguise herself.

With the brunette wig, large sunglasses, and a trashy mini-dress that she'd never worn in front of Klaus before, she didn't look at all like her old self. After leaving her makeshift safe house dressed in the new disguise first thing the next morning, she'd immediately compelled the first young brunette she could find to give her an ID and then compelled the convertible into her possession along the way.

At this point, though, she'd been driving west out of the city for over an hour. In Caroline's mind, even though an hour seemed an arbitrary length of time, it was still an indicator that she should switch her mode of transportation. She pulled off at the next exit she saw on the highway and parked at a gas station, trying to decide what to do next.

Caroline felt confused… bewildered might have even been a more apt term. From her experience with other humanity-less vampires, it had always seemed that their emotions returned in one of two ways. Either they made a conscious decision to turn it back on or something abruptly triggered it. Caroline did not understand, then, why she was feeling her humanity creeping back in like a slow burn. Despite the slow progression, she knew that it had been her fights with Klaus that were affecting her most prominently. That was why she had run, hoping to stop the emotions from worming their way back in.

But the further she got from NOLA, strangely enough, the worse it seemed to get. A dull aching pull in her chest grew more noticeable with every mile that took her further from the city. As much as the feeling scared her, worse was the unpredictability of what she'd feel when Klaus found her. If he finds you, she reminded herself, mentally. But what if he found her? And what if she felt relief?

What if his finding her caused her emotions to come flooding back?

Caroline had resolutely wanted to make this escape on her own but her fear was getting the better of her. Getting out of the car, she decided to make a phone call before she changed disguises and got a new mode of transportation.

"Hello?" a voice questioned from the other end of the line after Caroline dialed at the gas station's payphone.

"Bonnie, it's Caroline," she answered.

"Care? Are you okay? Are you… back?" her friend questioned, almost pleadingly.

"Back... as in my emotions?" she asked Bonnie. "Um… not quite. But I need your help."

Bonnie paused for a second on the other end of the line, frowning into the phone.

"If you still haven't turned your humanity back on… why should I help you?" Bonnie asked, in a borderline disgusted tone. "Why are you even calling me at all?"

"Because Klaus locked me up, Bonnie," Caroline responded immediately. "I escaped and now he's after me. Bonnie, I need you to perform a cloaking spell for me… he can't find me."

Her friend went silent again on the other end of the line. Bonnie was none too fond of the idea of Klaus locking up one of her best friends. At the same time, she had seen first hand what Caroline had turned into without her humanity. For all she knew, Klaus had just cause to lock up Caroline. Last she had seen of her former friend, she was threatening to blow up an entire hospital. In Bonnie's mind, she was literally no better than a Batman villain while she was like this.

But at the end of that internal debate, Bonnie just wasn't sure she'd ever be able to side with Klaus before Caroline.

"Where are you, Care?" Bonnie asked.

"I can't tell you," she responded to her friend, instantly.

"Caroline, if Klaus is after you right now then you need serious help," Bonnie insisted. "I need to know where you are and we need to come help you."

"Bonnie, I'm just not willing to bring back my humanity," she said. "Not yet. And in the meantime, I need assurance that I won't get locked up for eternity."

Truthfully, Caroline was currently most worried about just keeping this phone call short before Bonnie thought of a way to perform a locator spell. As far as she knew Bonnie would need her blood to do that but she didn't put much past her friend… she was the smartest witch Caroline knew.

"No one can trust you right now, Caroline," Bonnie huffed from the other end. "How can I possibly make a deal with you when you won't tell me anything?"

"Look, if I promise to let you ultimately know where I end up, will you help me?" she pleaded into the phone. "I'm desperate."

Bonnie could almost hear her, the real Caroline. In this new Caroline's fear, Bonnie could sense her real friend trying to push back through. It could have all been clever acting but, she so wanted to believe in her best friend again.

"Alright," Bonnie finally conceded with a sigh. "I'll cloak you, but I'm trusting you to let me know where you end up."

That was a lie and Bonnie knew it herself. Bonnie was doing it because she wanted to protect Caroline from the Original Hybrid. You couldn't trust a vampire without their humanity on, not even if they owed you something. As much as she wanted to believe in Care again, her time in the prison world had made her jaded. She wouldn't trust Caroline until she knew for sure that her emotions were back.

"Thank you, Bonnie," Caroline said.

Bonnie could have sworn it sounded like genuine appreciation and relief in her voice. Caroline was a better actress than she'd anticipated.

"Look, it's not gonna be easy," Bonnie said. "Not with you hundreds of miles away and I don't have access to your blood. Normally I'd try to go to your house and find an old possession that was important to you but… since nothing is important to you currently, I'll have to figure something else out."

"Do whatever it takes," Caroline replied, without hesitation.

Bonnie bit her lip, anxious about an idea pressing at her mind.

"We may need to exhume your mother's grave," she said, waiting for the reaction with no expectations for what Caroline might say.

"Whatever it takes," was all Caroline repeated.

"Alright, I get it," Bonnie said. "How will I let you know when the spell is in effect?"

"I'll call you," Caroline said. "In a few hours. Don't worry about tracking me down, I'll always get a hold of you."

Without any further discussion on the topic, Caroline hung up. Turning from the payphone, she scanned the gas station parking lot. Filling up the tank of an old black pick-up was a young guy, maybe 30, who wasn't too heinous looking. Plastering on a smile, Caroline began to sway towards him.

"Hi, honey!" she greeted familiarly. "Thanks for agreeing to meet me halfway, I know we're kind of in the middle of nowhere…"

She was talking loudly, in case anyone else in the station overheard them. Just as the man she was approaching began to look confused she darkened her eyes in compulsion.

"You're ready to go, right?" she asked him. "Don't worry, I'll give you directions. It's so good to see you again!"

"It's good to see you too…" the man replied, in a hypnotic haze. He dutifully finished filling his tank of gas and then opened the passenger door for Caroline to get inside, like he'd had a trip planned with her this whole time.

"Alright, we're gonna get on I-10 West," Caroline instructed as she put her feet up on the dashboard of the passenger's seat.

"Uh-huh, I-10 West," the man replied in an easy, complacent tone.

"And for God's sake, I'm picking the music," she complained, flipping off the CD player blasting Riff Raff and beginning to scan the radio. "Well, get going!"

Without any further prompting, the compelled human shifted his truck into gear and pulled out of the station.

Bonnie naturally went to Stefan first. Damon only cared about Caroline in so far as that he cared about Elena and Bonnie caring about her, so she didn't bother texting him that she'd heard from her. Elena was busy helping Jo with the wedding and, though she knew she'd be immediately willing to stop to help Caroline, Stefan still seemed like the obvious first person to go to. He was in love with the girl after all.

She got out of her car and approached his home but, before she could even knock on the door, it swung open.

"Bonnie!" Stefan said in surprise as he almost bumped in to the witch, "I was just about to give you a call and try to meet up. I've just received a rather interesting phone call…"

"Let me guess," she replied, "Caroline?"

Stefan quirked a confused eyebrow at that question before responding, "No, not exactly… Why I have you heard from Caroline?"

"You first," the witch demanded, on guard now, "Tell me about your interesting phone call."

"I just got off the phone with Klaus," he said. "He wants our help because Caroline has gone MIA."

Bonnie snorted at Klaus's obvious distortion of the whole scenario. "That's not exactly how she put it," Bonnie said.

"So you did talk to her?" Stefan asked. "Why don't you come inside?" Knowing that Caroline had reached out put his mind in a million places. Was her humanity back? Why did she leave Klaus? Was she trying to come back to Virginia? Why did she call Bonnie instead of him?

"Before I go into any specifics… did you agree to help Klaus?" she asked, stepping through his door to walk into the living room.

"Only tangentially," he said, noticing her distinct disapproving look when his answer wasn't an immediate no. "Just let me explain okay? And it'd be nice if you would remember, for a second here, that I'm on Caroline's side too. Not Klaus's. So it would be beneficial to hear whatever side of the story she told you too."

Bonnie sank into one of the plush leather couches, accepting Stefan's offer of a whiskey. Truth be told, she'd become more of a drinker since her time in the prison world. Really only a few days out and she was already involved in plots with Klaus Mikaelson again? Yeah, she'd take a drink.

"Alright, I'm sorry, Stefan," Bonnie admitted. "You know how I get when Klaus is thrown into the equation. I don't trust him… it makes me suspicious of everyone."

Stefan waved her off affably. All of his concern was on hearing what Caroline had said. He still couldn't get past the hurt that she'd called Bonnie first when she was in trouble. Even if she truly wasn't interested in him anymore, she'd been his best friend before she left for New Orleans. Did she think she couldn't come to him anymore? Even as a friend?

"Purportedly all Klaus wants is for me to try to find her outside of New Orleans and, if I do, tell him so he can speak with her one final time," Stefan said. "Obviously that doesn't really sound like something Klaus would do."

"How could you even find her? While you're under compulsion not to interfere with her humanity?" Bonnie asked.

"Searching for her isn't the same as trying to get her emotions back," he explained. "Klaus just wants me to find her. And we're still not allowed back into the city limits. It's all really suspicious, I know but, honestly my main concern is just finding Care before he does."

"I agree," Bonnie said. "Which is why I told Caroline I'd help her and perform a cloaking spell."

"But then none of us will be able to find her," Stefan said, confused.

"We could still locate her," Bonnie said. "At least I could. I'd be the one controlling the spell, so I'd always be able to find her. It would be tough… I'm trying to string her on a bit to keep checking in with me so I can try to convince her to just tell me where she is-"

"That's not going to happen," Stefan interrupted.

He had been pacing in front of the fireplace as he drank and spoke with Bonnie but he finally stopped to sink into the couch next to her.

"Well, why can't we just go find her on our own anyway? Forget about Klaus," she suggested.

Stefan sighed, "He told me that if I made any moves to find her without keeping in touch with him that he'd know."

"So he's watching us," Bonnie said with a defeated sigh.

"I don't know," he admitted. "I'm not sure I believe him. If Caroline's really left him then he might be so desperate to get her back that he has all of his New Orleans lackeys out looking for her. I don't think he'd waste any resources on us."

"There's no way to know for sure," she said. "And I don't want to risk Klaus interfering with us."

"Interfering?" Stefan asked. That sounded like Bonnie had something in mind for Klaus to interfere with.

"Alright, well here's what I had in mind…" Bonnie started. "First of all, you'll keep checking in with Klaus..."

The nearest international airport that she'd feel comfortable leaving from was in Austin. The drive to the state border towards Texas was long but her compelled chauffeur was both quiet and a speeding, aggressive driver. She was able to sleep through most of it as the miles breezed by.

Waking up, they were approaching a town on something called Lake Charles. Caroline began studying a map on her phone, suppressing a yawn; they were less than 50 miles from the state border. She could vamp speed the rest of that way by herself.

"Pull over," she told her driver, gesturing to a suburban neighborhood off in the distance from the highway. "I'll get out in that neighborhood."

Fifteen minutes later she was hopping out of the car, pulling her small bag of stuff with her. She crossed around the front of the car to the driver's side where the man she'd picked up still had that glazed look in his eyes from her compulsion. She let her eyes darken one more time as she came up with a plan to ditch him and the car in one go.

"I want you to drive around for awhile. Don't get back onto the highway," she ordered. "Stay in the local area, go see the lake. And when you find a nice, abandoned section of the lake later tonight… drive your truck into as far as you can and don't get out. Thanks again!"

Completely nonplussed, the man nodded sleepily and drove off, heading in the direction of the last sign for Lake Charles that they'd passed.

Caroline took a look at the traditional neighborhood around her. Places like these gave her the creeps. Every house looked the same, like they'd been made in a factory together. They were useful rest stops for her current escape, though, because they were completely void of any security cameras. Cameras were the reason that the hardest leg of her escape had really just been getting out of the city. Either way, tired of sticking around this dreary little neighborhood, she vamp sped off to run the last few miles into Texas. Once she'd gotten there, she'd pick up a new car.

By the time she'd reached the Louisiana border, though, just a few minutes later… Caroline knew she still wasn't nearly ready to cross it yet. She stood there looking at the sign welcoming her to Texas, trying to will herself across the border. But every time she chanced a step closer, it felt like a wall inside of her was threatening to crumble and memories of Klaus would push furiously at her mind.

This was insane. She needed to get her head on straight and work on really flipping the switch inside of her off for good. She'd fucking tape it down if she had to, in a metaphorical sense, of course.

Instead of continuing to stare hopelessly at the invisible line into Texas, Caroline doubled back several miles to a town called Vinton where she found a dive hotel nearby to get her head on straight and practice shutting off her emotions more confidently. To be fair, she hadn't turned the switch back on; it was more like, if humanity was a light one turned on and off, the bulb inside of her was flickering due to faulty electrical wiring.

Her emotions were still firmly off when she'd compelled that man to drive himself into the lake. But the moment she had even a passing thought of Klaus, it was like something would spark inside of her. All the same, she was glad she had left him. If being away from him was causing her to have this difficult of a time keeping her emotions off, she could only imagine the state she'd be in if she had stayed.

That thought twisted in her stomach like a knife and she tried, unsuccessfully, to wipe it clean from her brain. If she had still been in New Orleans but, with her humanity on, it was very likely that she would have been in the throws of passion with the Original Hybrid right now. Klaus would have been so happy if she'd stayed and turned it back on. Instead of staying in this questionable hotel, she'd be having her body worshipped while she drank the most intoxicating vampire blood ever known throughout history. But she didn't want that, right? She didn't need it at least. She only needed to keep her emotions off.

She redirected her thoughts towards her travel plans. She was headed west towards Texas, planning to take a pit stop in Austin. It was supposed to be an amazing city — great food and art, amazing music. Plus, from the Austin airport, she could use her passport to go anywhere in the world. She was thinking Rio next. It was bound to be a lot of fun like New Orleans and, Klaus would probably expect her to be heading to Europe, not South America. If she stayed there a year she'd be able to go to Carnival.

Carnival… it reminded her of Mardi Gras, which, of course reminded her of Klaus. Cursing, Caroline stormed out of her hotel room to find a bar. She was going to need to drink this night away, apparently. She'd seen a seedy place not more than a mile south of the hotel.

The next morning, Caroline woke with a hangover as bad as she used to get when she was a human. She needed blood. Without pausing to think, she flashed up from where she'd passed out on her hotel floor after getting back from the bar the previous evening, and went in search of a human. The moment she opened her door, she came face to face with a maid. She quickly pulled her in, drained her just short of killing her, and then compelled her to forget the entire episode as soon as she woke from a long nap.

Caroline gathered her things quickly after that. She was going to grab a quick drink and a bite of human breakfast to kill the rest of her hangover and then she was getting the hell out of this state. She didn't care where her head was at this morning. Honestly, she didn't even plan to think. She was just going to plow right past the border without a second glance.

Before she did, though, Caroline found herself in front of an old diner that looked like it was straight from 1975 called Ma's Choice Diner. She quirked an eyebrow in momentary amusement at the terrible name before walking in and spotting a seat yourself sign. She chose a booth in the back and a waitress was already heading over to her table with a wide smile.

"Bad day?" the waitress asked, dropping the cheery smile for a look of commiseration as she approaching Caroline's booth. Caroline hadn't been aware she was scowling but, her irritation must have shown.

"More like a bad week," she muttered in reply.

"Let me grab you a drink, on the house," the waitress offered, "What's your poison?"

"I'll just have an Abita," she replied, "Thanks."

"Sure, I'll be right back with that," she said and walked off towards the bar on the other side of the diner.

A few tables away, a young couple sat with their baby boy in a high chair between them. The young mother was rustling through her baby-bag, looking for something they needed, while the father broke apart tiny bits of saltine crackers for his laughing son. The father had sandy, slightly curly hair. He wasn't bad to look at… in fact, he didn't like too different from Klaus.

Caroline shook her head, realizing she was being abjectly ridiculous. She redirected her attention towards the menu. She wasn't really hungry now that she'd fed but it couldn't hurt to have some French toast to soak up any residual alcohol in her system. That plus one Abita to serve as her hair of the dog and she would be good to go. I have to remember to call Bonnie again too, she thought to herself idly, really just trying to keep herself distracted.

The baby at the other table laughed and she looked up. The mother had excused herself from the table to use the restroom and so the father was left alone with his son. He was making funny faces at the baby much to the child's delight. The man looked so happy and at peace with his child. Caroline had never really seen Klaus interact with his daughter. She wondered if he ever looked this at peace. She supposed he probably did… and he'd thought that she might be a threat to that happiness. Klaus had truly thought Caroline might harm his daughter. The idea made her sick.

Caroline slid out of the booth, moving slowly at first but then speeding up, as if she could outrun the flood of emotions threatening to flip her switch. Apparently, her distress must have shown because the waitress, who had just returned with her beer, was looking at her with a concerned frown.

"Honey?" she asked Caroline. "Are you feeling alright? You look a little sick…"

Caroline, who had been heading out to skip her bill and leave the restaurant to compose herself, turned to face the waitress. In doing so, she caught sight of the smiling baby again. His gleeful laughter and his indulgent father's smiling face was all it took; she was done for.

She crumpled, the will to hold herself up slipping from her as her emotion reentered. Brought to her knees, Caroline let out an animalistic howl of pure anguish. The pain of her mother's death and the guilt of her recent behavior hitting her all at the same time; it was too much to handle.

"Oh, dear! Honey, are you alright?" the waitress put the beer down at the nearest table and rushed over to Caroline.

Patrons around the diner were staring in complete confusion and concern as heavy, almost painful sobs began to rack Caroline's body. She could barely catch her breath; in fact, she felt like she couldn't breath. She was too overtaken by the pain and the ferocity of her tears. Subconsciously she was aware she was making horrific sounds, the kind of noises people only made when they were in the throes of intense grief. So intense was the pain, she was tempted to bash her head into the ground just to black out and find some relief. When she made a motion to do so, the waitress caught her around her shoulders. Normally a human would be no match for her vampire strength but, she was so distraught in this moment, she didn't currently have the motivation to put up a fight.

Choking, she gagged in a dry heave over the floor. She felt like she was actually drowning on her own tears. The guilt she was feeling was beyond weighing her; it was crushing her. She couldn't escape its weight, it was paralyzing her.

How many people had she killed? So many innocent lives. She'd gouged out people's eyes! The thought of it almost made her sick. She'd shunned and attempted to banish her own friends. She'd ruthlessly tried to blow up an entire pack of werewolves. And, on top of it all, she'd terribly abused Klaus's hospitality, emotions, and love for her. She'd taken advantage of the one person who had ever loved her first and she'd ridiculed his innocent daughter to boot.

"Steve! Steve, get over here, this girl needs some help!" the waitress called out to her manager.

A man was running over to them, as were several other staff members.

"Back up! Give her some space!" the man named Steve called.

Caroline was on her hands and knees now, dry heaving over the carpeted diner floor. Her sobs were so intense they were making her nauseous. She couldn't choke out a single word. The manager reached down a hand to help her up but she was still just stalled there, hacking now as she coughed, feeling far too unsteady to make it to her feet. Visions of the men in Atlanta were flashing through her mind, followed by the old Creole woman, followed by the napalm explosions and, then, Jim Milton. He may have been a drug lord but, good god, she'd bitten off his—

"I think she's having a severe panic attack, Steve," the waitress said, above her. "We're gonna have to call an ambulance."

Caroline finally had the good sense to respond to that one, shaking her head violently.

"No?" Steve asked her. "Honey, you need to let us help you."

Still sobbing and shaking uncontrollably, Caroline blindly thrust a hand into her purse, searching wildly until her fingers closed around her phone. She pulled it out and all but threw it at the man. She choked out the only name that made sense in this moment — the only person she truly wanted to see, though she doubted very much he'd come to her after everything she'd done and said.

Taking her only chance to make it through this rush-return of her humanity, she half-sobbed half-pleaded the name, "Klaus!" When the manager took her cell phone again, turning it on now, she repeated it, "Call Klaus!"

The manager waited for her phone to turn on as the waitress knelt down next to her, placing a comforting hand on Caroline's back. When it finished loading, he went into her contacts in search of the name she had mentioned, not even knowing how it would be spelled until he finally spied it.

"K-l-a-u-s?" he asked Caroline and she confirmed with an emphatic nod, tears still dramatically spilling down her face. Every time one horrible memory passed through her head, it was quickly replaced by another. She had been ready to let Klaus kill Elena… she had forgotten about that. How could her friends ever forgive her?

But, right now, Klaus was foremost on her mind. She needed him. Would he come to her? Would he forgive her?

Steve pressed the send button on her screen and held the phone to his ear.

NEWS! I just began publishing a new Klaroline fic! It's called Inferno. It's a dystopian post-apocalyptic AU that picks up 200 years after the most recent season finales. An adult Hope Mikaelson meets Caroline for the first time; Caroline and Klaus haven't spoken or seen each other in over two centuries. A deadly virus has ravaged the Earth, leaving infected humans inedible and infected werewolves feral and dangerous. You get to see Caroline with an extra couple hundred years of experience on her, her and Klaus meeting far into the future (as the show always dangles over us as a possibility), and a slow unraveling of where everyone else is in the future… who's alive and who isn't, etc. Not all is revealed right away. So, SHAMELESS PLUG, check it out on my profile and let me know what you think. I'm super excited about the idea and promise it won't interfere with my updating this fic!

Obviously am dying to get your reactions to this chapter as well. I realize this is a pretty big cliffhanger. Reviews directly correlate to quicker updates, just saying. Enjoy!