Breakfast together certainly couldn't fix everything, and neither did the apology, but it was a beginning. Cas went back to his apartment more upbeat and chipper than he had been in some time. He even gave himself over to editing the last of Lucy's manuscript. Well, not the last of it but almost the last of it.

His phone buzzed. He flipped it up and saw Dean's name. "Hello Dean."

"Hey."

"So, you know we did just see each other, right?" Cas moved back to his bedroom and tossed his body down in a heap on the bed.

"Yeah, I just wanted to see if you were interested in carpooling to my parent's place tonight." Dean was still missing his old confidence, and Cas wanted to just say yes, but he couldn't.

"Wish I could, but my parents are likely already on their way. I think that they want to see the place, ya know."

"Oh, well, if you want, you could go back home with me at the end. It'll save your parents a trip."

"That's a good idea. I was already trying to think of a way to take my own car out there. I like the idea of being able to just up and go when the need arises." Cas stared at the ceiling fan blades that spun overhead. He tried to pick out the individual blades by blinking.

"So you view me as equal to having your own car?" He sounded confident again, like the old Dean.

"Yeah. I sorta associate you with freedom." It was a deeper comment than Dean maybe realized.

There was a quiet on Dean's end of the line. When he spoke it was still quiet. "I think that might have been one of the nicest things anyone has ever said to me."

"So not true." Cas laughed to lighten the mood. He added, "I say way nicer things to you all of the time. I once said that you smelled tolerable. I complimented your sneakers. Your car is awesome."

"Okay, okay. Can't argue with the car one. I totally don't remember you telling me that I had a tolerable smell, and as for the sneakers, well, I so don't remember that. I do remember some vague comment about my work clothes though."

Cas totally remembered that comment and decided to shift the topic to something far away from there. "So, we'll make our escape at the same time then."

"Yep. If the gathering gets too weird, you be Thelma, and I'll be Louise, and we'll drive off the cliff together." Dean laughed at his own little joke.

"Dean," Dean stopped laughing. Cas continued, "So, you do know that Thelma and Louise like died at the end right? Pretty sure the dinner won't be that bad."

"I didn't mean it that way. There just aren't many good movie references that I could make at the moment with two characters that use a car to race away from something."

"Hmm."

"What do you mean with your humming?"

"Just, hmmm." Cas laughed a little.

"Explain."

"Well, I may not be a pop culture genius, but there are many, many references that you could have made, and I am going to read between the lines on your little selection for some time to come."

"Oh really?" Dean had a little uptick to his tone when he asked.

"Yes, really. I could probably write volumes on what you meant by it. Anyway, I guess I'll see you in a few hours then."

"Yeah, talk to ya later, Cas."

"Well, unless you call me again in like ten minutes or something." Cas laughed at him.

"Dude, I was just trying to carpool. Ya know, saving the environment."

"You missed me." Cas said it in his sappiest tone.

Dean replied, all serious, "I really did."

Cas made short work of the tour around his apartment. His mother commented more than once on the size of the place. She had apparently been expecting a Michael sized penthouse or something. Cas was happy with the size. His father liked the furniture. He had said that it seemed like Cas' personality, all the colors. Cas gave him a little half hug for that. They wandered down to the car, where they found Dean. He was parked next to the Jaguar with his engine running. He rolled down the window. "You waiting for us?" Cas leaned down to the window and rested his arms on it as he came down into a crouch.

"Yeah, it occurred to me that you all maybe didn't know how to get to my parent's place. Figured I could lead the way, ya know caravan style." Dean waved out the window at Chuck and Becky.

Chuck crouched down next to Cas. "So, we parked up a few spots away. Following you sounds like a good plan."

Cas got up then and moved over to his parents again. They waved again and headed up the slope to the car. Cas looked back and saw that Dean was watching them go, He quickly turned away when Cas caught his eye. He pulled his phone up to the steering wheel and made like he was checking his messages. "He sure is a thoughtful young man." Becky offered up.

Cas tipped his head a little and considered her words. "He is."

"Have you been spending time together lately?" she asked as they got into the car.

"Not much?" He sensed that there was more to the question. "Why do you ask?"

Chuck pulled the car out and crept down the slope. Dean backed out and they followed him to the exit. Becky turned a little in her seat to look at him. "Mary may have said some things."

"Like what?" Cas bristled a little. He did not want to be having this discussion. It felt like gossip. It felt like opening up a floodgate.

"She said that Dean was moping and miserable. She said that he had been injured recently and that he was recovering at home." Becky paused and looked at him as if expecting him to tell her about that detail a little."

"And?" He prodded instead of contributing.

"She may have implied that the two of you had had a falling out of some sorts. She didn't seem to know why, or she wouldn't say." Becky paused again as if Cas should begin filling in the blanks.

"We had a minor disagreement. We're fine now. We even had breakfast over at Ellen's this morning. No big." He learned a long time ago that the best way to deal with his mom's worries included plenty of understatement. He caught a look from his father in the rearview that said, that he knew exactly what was going on. Becky gave up, seeing as Cas was being uncooperative. He turned the subject down another path. "So, I may have read nearly all of Lucy's manuscript."

"Oh, Cas. You are up for sainthood now." Chuck drummed at the steering wheel in delight.

Becky added, "Seriously, we don't pay you enough. Chuck, when was the last time that we gave Cas a raise?"

Chuck looked up into the mirror again and said, "Well, we did just give him a Jaguar, so I don't feel any pressing urge to pay Cas any more."

Cas laughed. "I'll remember that next time you offer up a Lucy manuscript. Did Michael work things out with her yet?"

Becky rolled her eyes and said, "Yes. They are swimming in seas of love. Everything is passion and blah, blah, blah."

"Wow, mom, and I thought that you were the hopeless romantic." Cas watched the road ahead as Dean's brake lights came on. He turned down a small side road that had two big fields on either side. Looked like maybe the Winchester's were just as much country folk as the Shurleys.

"Sorry, not a fan. I don't like how she manipulates people. Michael's even changed." She looked sad, and Cas reached out to her and gave her arm a little squeeze.

"Well, there's always one black sheep in the family." He smirked.

"Oh, Cas." She swatted at him now. They continued on down the road for awhile. At the end of the road, there was a large white house with ornate Victorian trimmings. It was uncommon to see a home like this in this part of the country. The Victorian era look was much more common on the east and west coast.

They pulled up behind Dean and got out. Dean wandered over to them and said, "Welcome to Casa de Winchester."

The screen door opened and closed with a bang. Mary and John stood on the front porch ready to greet them. Ruby came out a moment later and stood off to the side. John called down, "So, I can see you got an escort."

"Yeah, your son is a real help. I'm not sure my GPS would have gotten us here. It was losing connection with the satellite back on the 53."

They walked up the steps and did the awkward little greeting thing, that was less awkward because they had at least done it before at the Shurley place. Cas made a point of giving Ruby a hug. She hugged him back and said, "So, we do the hug thing now?"

"Yeah, I'm apparently a hugger."

Dean stood next to them and grinned. "He really is." They went inside and got a mini-tour of the downstairs. They were handed wine glasses and Mary poured. They made their way to the other end of the kitchen and John started handing out plates.

"We were thinking that we could dish up in here and then eat out back." John pointed off toward the back door. "I have some steaks grilling up out there, so don't think that we are just eating side dishes." They all laughed and started dishing up. They made their way out to the back yard and the lovely long table that had little mason jars with tea candles in them.

Becky tapped one and said, "These are great. I need to remember to do this the next time that we host." Chuck nodded in agreement.

John called over from the grill, "So who here wants a rare steak?"

Ruby raised her hand. "You know me, pops. Love me some bloody steak."

John grabbed one of the steaks off of the fire with his long fork and brought it over to Ruby. "Look okay to you?"

Ruby grinned. "Oh yeah."

John went back to the grill. "Now, who was hoping for a medium steak?"

Pretty much everyone raised their hands now. Mary was the lone hold out; she got the medium-well. John brought everyone their steaks, and they all dove in at once. They ate and drank, laughed and joked. Dean looked like he had found his lightness again as he tossed a small hunk of biscuit at Ruby. She reciprocated in kind. The sun was setting and the land around the house looked like something out of a picture book for good country living.

"God, it's beautiful here," Becky said. The rosy sky illuminated her in a way that took off years and made her the woman that hadn't spent the better part of the last decade worrying over her dying son.

Mary grinned at her and said, "It's funny." She sipped her wine. "I thought the same thing at your place, and then I realized why. They're the same. We both have old houses full of all that family love, and acres and acres of land all around us to shelter us from the sometimes too big world."

"It's true." Becky leaned over the distance between them and gave Mary's arm a little squeeze. They seemed to share a bond in that moment, one mother to the other. They both knew of all the ways that loss could hurt. For his mom it had been only a prolonged possibility of loss, while for Mary it had been the quick tear of loss that no one can ever be ready for. Even still, they knew, and they found something with each other in that moment that eased it a little.

Perhaps to ease the momentary seriousness John spoke, "So Ruby and Dean…" They looked up at him, each coming out of their silent contemplations. "You should both take Cas on the tour before the sun sets fully."

"Oh, Hell yeah." Ruby was already up on her feet. Dean just grinned at her.

"You've been chomping at the bit for a rematch forever." Dean got up then too. He looked over at Cas and said, "Well, come on."

Cas got up, having no clue what was happening. "Uh, you people take your tours way too seriously it seems."

John laughed at that. "They should be all gassed up. Make sure he sees the wisteria. It's in bloom."

"Can't be. It doesn't bloom this time of year," Ruby said over her shoulder, clearly trying to get a head start on whatever it was that they were doing.

"Tell that to the wisteria as you stare at its awesomeness." He looked over at Cas and added, "Don't let them just race through it. Make them stop so you can actually see it. Mary spent forever on it, and I like to hear people sing her praises over things like this."

"Oh, John. Let them go have fun." Mary waved them off, and Cas saw something in the look that she gave John that made him wonder if maybe they were all planning to send them off so that they could discuss something with his own parents in private. Maybe they wanted to talk about Dean or the falling out that was all better now. He wondered, but Dean was dragging him off, so he let that go.

"Come on slow poke. She's already way ahead." He was practically sprinting now. There was a barn in the distance and Ruby was already heaving the the big red door aside.

"Cheater. The race doesn't start on foot." Dean dragged Cas in on her heels.

They all stood for a moment in front of three ATVs. One had a little trailer attached to it full of some sort of liquid. "Should we detach it or have one of us take the handicap?" Ruby turned to Dean with the question.

"Rock, paper, scissors for it?" He raised an eyebrow. They played the game. "Son of a bitch." Dean muttered as Ruby won.

"You get the extra weight, and ten seconds lead time." She smirked over at Cas.

"No way. Twenty seconds. Be fair." Dean marched over to the ATV on the left. Ruby mounted the one on the right. Cas just stood there.

Ruby looked back at Cas then over to Dean. "Well, looks like you'll need it. The boy doesn't even seem to know how to get on one." She laughed. "Twenty seconds starting now." She looked at her wristwatch and started her ATV.

"Goddamnit Cas, get on!" Dean yelled at him as he started the vehicle. Cas got on behind Dean, and Dean whipped the vehicle in a fast arc around and out of the barn. They barreled out the door, and Cas thought that life would no longer be long. Well, it was nice, briefly. They hit a pothole and he gripped Dean's waist. He had not been holding onto Dean at first; he had been holding the back of the seat that protruded up. Dean was a cackling bit of laughter. "We're gonna beat her. Ruby knows no rules. She's a cheater, and she always wins." Dean shouted back over his shoulder. He seemed to know the route well. He jerked the handlebar steering wheel and they slid into a turn that took them down a dirt path between high rows of corn.

"You're insane!" Cas yelled near his ear. His body now fully pressed to Dean's back. Under normal circumstances that might have affected him, but not today, not with all the fear that they were nearing something like violent death. And he had only just recently learned what it was to enjoy life. He was clinging to Dean now, unashamedly and Dean gave the vehicle more gas as the trail stretched out long and straight ahead of them.

"You okay?" Dean yelled back.

"Scared shitless. You?"

"Happy as the day is long. Hold on!" Dean yelled just before whipping the ATV onto another path. Hold on? As if he had let go. He somehow managed to move his arms around Dean more after the directive though, his right hand, so far around Dean that it clung to his left side, his left hand to the right. So long as they were on the straight paths he could get control of his breathing. The turns were the literal worst. The path that they were on dipped down a long slope. He could hear a second engine over the noise of their own. Just as soon as he noticed it, Ruby's ATV came bursting out of the field and onto the trail in front of them. "Son of a bitch!" Dean yelled, and then they were both coughing on the dust that she kicked up in her wake. Dean would either have to slow up for breathing purposes, or he would have to speed up and pass her. Anyone who knew Dean, knew which option he chose.

Cas pressed his face into Dean's shoulder to breathe and also so that he would not have to see where they were going. A few moments in and he realized that he could block out the terror by doing this, focus on what was right in front of him, literally. He breathed in Dean, earthy, probably because they were both now covered in all of the dust. He pressed in closer, thinking about the skin that his nose was pressed to and the way that things were. He could almost feel Dean's heartbeat against his chest. He focused on that. His fingers curled into Dean's shirt a little more. Dean seemed to be slowing down. Cas looked up and saw that Ruby was soaring away from them, one middle fingered salute raised up to them. "So long bitches!" He could hear her yell back.

They turned off the main trail then, at a much more reasonable speed. Dean pointed off to the west. "See?" Cas sucked in a breath. "That's the wisteria."

They meandered down the trail to a small creek that wound in and out of the land. There was a long canopy that had been created alongside the creek, and on it was the most beautiful growth of flowers Cas had ever seen. A breeze blew over the water, past the vines to them. It smelled heavenly. Dean slowed up more as they drove through it. He came to a stop in the middle of it. They were surrounded by flowers, pink hanging flowers that filtered the light of the setting sun in a way that was too unreal to be actual colors. It was almost like clouds after a fire. It was a Monet painting, and Cas felt that he had fallen into it.

Cas rested his head on Dean's shoulder again, not letting himself think about whether or not this was appropriate. Dean didn't complain, so he didn't move away. He looked at the edge of Dean's face, all aglow with the soft light. He wanted to kiss the side of his cheek there, where the stubble was just barely present. He could claim that it was nothing, just like hugging, friendly affection. He knew though that it was more than that, so much more, and if he let himself he'd never be satisfied with that little bit, and Dean had never said or done anything that implied that he would be okay with this. And because his mind was full of dreams and the gloriousness of this moment, instead of kissing him, he said, "I have never seen anything more beautiful in all my life." He filled his lungs full of Dean, full of flowers, full of life.

Dean turned his head to him a little and said, "Yeah." For a moment, Cas thought that there was more in that one word, in that little movement of his head than just agreement. They stayed like that for a spell, looking at each other in a silent bit of communication. Cas thought that maybe they were saying different things to each other, but he didn't care. He knew what he was saying, and that was all that mattered to him right then, that and the warm, solid presence of Dean in his arms. He wanted to come up with a catalogue of ways that he could recreate this situation regularly. How else can I excuse prolonged physical contact? How do I paint it in colors of mere friendship? Oh, don't mind me. I'm just gonna wrap myself around you, hold you up while you cook dinner. Oh, don't mind me. I'm just gonna wrap myself around you, hold you up while I… "Penny for your thoughts," Dean interrupted.

"I think you would have to pay more than a penny for these." Cas dipped his head a little, breaking the eye contact.

"How much? I have a good job." Cas looked up and saw Dean lick his lips.

"I forget now."

"Liar." Dean reached down and patted Cas' hand still snaked around his waist. "I'll just have to imagine then, and I have quite the imagination." He got the ATV going again, nice and slow though.

"What do you imagine?" Cas wondered still resting his head on Dean's shoulder.

"I imagine a lot of things. I had a lot of time to do that these past couple of weeks. I spent time imagining what my life could be if…" He stopped and gave the ATV more gas.

"If?" Cas raised his voice to be heard over the engine.

Dean moved one of his hands off the handlebar and settled it on Cas' hand at his waist for a moment. "Yeah." They rode back to the barn quiet like that for the rest of the journey.

They walked back to the family and a very smug Ruby just sitting at the table beaming. Cas wanted to find excuses to explore more of the property with just Dean. He wanted to find reasons that could be made into action, that would keep them near each other and potentially talking about what was happening between them. Something was happening, right? His throat went dry with the thought. He kept having to lick his ever chapping lips, because apparently just thinking about kissing Dean was enough to sap him of all moisture.

He sat down at the table and poured himself some wine. Yeah. That word. That one word. It meant something. Wine. Wine helps everything. He gave the glass a swirl and drank. Dean settled in across from him and seemed to watch him a little. It was then that he noticed just how quiet the table was. He looked at his mom and then the others.

Finally, Mary spoke up. "Ruby sure beat you back."

Dean considered the words and casually replied, "Cas really liked your wisteria. Figured since we already lost to her, I'd let him stare at it for a bit." He looked over at Cas with his revisionist history. No mentioning of how much they really didn't just stare at the wisteria. He had mapped out the most glorious landscape ever, and he knew where each freckle was, each angle, and where the crinkles would form if he smiled.

"So, you liked the wisteria?" Mary directed her question to Cas.

"It was absolutely beautiful, Mary. I could not imagine a more magical place." He had chosen his words carefully in that moment. The talk around them seemed to slowly come back to life. He found himself stealing glances past his glass to Dean. He finished off the wine, and thought about another. His head already felt a little muddled with the alcohol. He had been given a very liberal pour during dinner too. He had poured the second glass with equal generosity.

He was not drunk, but he was very happy. His parents eventually got up to go. Cas had forgotten to mention to them that Dean would be taking him home. "Well, son, you ready to go?" Chuck had asked as he came over and settled a hand on his shoulder.

Dean said, "Oh, I volunteered earlier to drive Cas home. This way you don't have to get off the freeway on your way home. Cuts down the commute for you." Dean smiled.

"Oh, thanks Dean." Chuck looked down at Cas and asked, "So you want to call me later in the week about the Lucy manuscript?"

Cas replied, "No, but I will." They smiled at each other. Cas got up then and everyone took that as a sign that they needed to make their goodbyes.

Cas and Dean stood off to the side listening to Mary and Becky talk. Mary said, "It's so nice that Dean has found a brother in your son."

Becky replied, "I agree." She smiled over at them. Cas glanced at Dean. His smile, that had been so much a part of him all evening fell. He stalked off to his car and got in.

"Is he okay?" Mary asked as she stared off at him.

Cas replied, "I think that it has just been a long day. Thanks for a lovely dinner." He leaned over and gave Mary a quick hug. He pressed a kiss to his mom's cheek and then went off to Dean's car.

Dean pulled out from the edge of the driveway and looped out to the road. They drove in silence for nearly five minutes before either of them bridged the communication gap. Cas had secretly been looking forward to the conversation, but now it seemed to be a thing filled with melancholy.

"I had a good time tonight." Cas watched Dean's face for a reaction.

He was still as he said, "Yeah?" This time the word did not carry the same tone as it had in the wisteria.

Cas endeavored to give it back, that tone. He said, "Yeah."

Dean turned to him a little at that, and some of the hardness that had fallen into his features slipped away. They drove on in silence. It was less heavy though. "You know." Dean started and then stopped. He swallowed, and Cas watched the rise and fall of it in Dean's throat. He tried again, "You know, you aren't my brother?" It was an odd sort of question, but Cas let it sit in his head for a bit.

He considered where it had come from and why such a question should form for Dean now. He wondered why it mattered. He looked at Dean and said, "Yeah," just like he had said it before, like Dean had said it too.

Dean let out a long sigh of what Cas thought might be relief. "I had a good time too."

They eventually got back to the apartment. The last glass of wine had fully made its journey to his head by this point. They walked together back into the complex. They got to Cas' door and Cas said, "I may be a little drunk."

"Really? You hide it well." Dean leaned into the wall next to Cas' door while he fumbled for the keys. Dean reached out and took them from him. "Here, let me get it." Cas grinned at him cheesily.

"Thanks." He moved into the space and Dean handed him back his keys. Dean leaned into the doorway now. Cas wandered over to his table to set down the keys, expecting Dean to be inside the apartment by now. "Well, are you coming in?"

"Nah, gonna head back to my place. I was gonna invite you in, but you said that you might be drunk, so maybe another time." Dean's eyes crinkled up again at the edges with his grin.

"What, you have something against a little imbibing?" Cas moved back toward him a little. The world was fuzzy and warm like Dean.

"Nope, just think that maybe I'd like to invite you over when you are sober is all. Sleep well, Cas." He popped himself off of the doorframe.

"Okay then." Cas could barely conceal the disappointment in his voice. "See you tomorrow?"

"Yeah." And there was the tone again, warm honey and sweet with promise. Cas just stared at him as he reached out for the door, closing it slowly as he left. Cas wandered back to his bed, kicked off his shoes, and fell face down into the embrace of his very cool, very welcoming pillows. They may not have been Dean, but they were still nice anyway.