He ran his hand through his hair and looked at himself in the mirror. He could see Charlie getting bored on the bed behind him. She was already doing that thing where you pick at the underside of your fingernails for dirt that isn't there. He turned around and looked at her. "So, do I look okay?"
"Yeah, Cas, you look great." She got up and walked over to him. "Maybe just undo one of the buttons there. You look a little like you are choking on your collar." She reached up and undid the top button for him. He turned back to the mirror to be sure that the scar wasn't showing. "You look fine. Can we go before Dean sends out the dogs after us?"
"He wouldn't do that." Regardless, Cas turned away from the mirror, and they went out the door.
"Why are you so nervous?" She wrapped her arm around his as they walked over to Dean's place.
"I'm not." He looked at her and saw the full look of skepticism on her face. "Okay, maybe I am a little. I hate crowds."
"Is that all?"
"Mostly."
"And?"
Cas sucked in a breath of air and felt his heart kick up a little as they approached the corner that was just steps from Dean's door. "I maybe get nervous about things that involve dancing. There's gonna be dancing here."
"Why does dancing bother you?" She stopped their progress before they got to the corner.
"I don't know. I mean, I never went to any of them back in the day."
"Because of your heart?" Charlie ran her hand back and forth on his arm in a sympathetic gesture.
"Yeah, and well, also the potential for dance partners. I mean, no one really knew what I was into partnerwise, and quite frankly I was not willing to share that with any of them. The thought of going to a dance and dancing with either no one or some random girl that I had no interest in just seemed sad. Not that I would have minded dancing with a girl, but I really just found the whole concept of dances to be rather depressing."
She propelled them onward and said, "Well, tonight, Cas, you will dance. Maybe with me, maybe with a dude, but you will most definitely dance."
"I would totally dance with you. Please do not set me up with a random dude at the party. Please do not do that." He could see the gears turning even before he spoke.
"Okay, so, no random dude. How 'bout Dean? Bet I could get him to dance with you." This time he pulled her to a stop just outside of Dean's door.
"No. Don't do that." He reached up and knocked on the door.
"Why not?. He'd totally be down." She was giving him a big ole shit eating grin.
The door opened as Cas was saying, "Just don't."
"Just don't what?" Dean asked.
"Nothing." Cas had a bit of bite in his response and Dean's raised eyebrow was all the comment that he needed. "Sorry. Charlie is just being pushy."
"So not pushy. Can you believe that Cas has never danced with anyone before?" She moved past Cas into Dean's place. Cas followed her.
"Damn it Charlie, stop already." Is it too late to run?
"Really? Now that is an absolute tragedy, Cas." Dean laughed.
"So not funny, Dean. Cas is missing out on an ancient rite of passage."
"Well, maybe he can finally embark upon the ancient rite of passage tonight." He leaned over to Cas and added, "Don't stress. Dancing is just one human's way of saying to another human that they want to mush their sexy bits up against your sexy bits. No big." Dean laughed again.
"Totally not the only reason for dancing. It's also just fun, and Cas has not had nearly enough fun in his life. We can totally help him with this."
"Charlie, I swear to God, I will kill you. I am not above murder. I've been watching Dexter and let me say that there are totally legit reasons that one might go on a little kill bender."
"How do we help the danceless wonder here?" Dean laughed again as he hit the lights and waved them out the door.
"I say, we either dance with him for most of the night or we find him a suitable partner at the event. Lord knows he won't do it himself." She started to wind her arm through his again, but he shrugged her off.
"I swear to God, I am going back to my room. I am not dancing with strangers that you randomly pluck from the crowd. I am so against this insanely awkward scenario." He made a move toward his room and felt an arm drape over his shoulder.
Dean was redirecting him to the elevator. "You are hilarious. I need to hang out with you and Charlie as a duo more often."
"Glad to be entertaining you. Tell me you are not a supporter of the set up your friend with awkward dudes plan."
"They might not be awkward." He laughed at Cas' twisted up look. "Maybe we won't have to set you up. Maybe you can just find someone on your own, and Charlie and I can watch your back."
"Fun." They got in the elevator. He could see Charlie and Dean silently laughing together in the reflection on the elevator doors as they closed.
They stepped out of the elevator and made their way out to the courtyard. Pam had really outdone herself this time. The little lanterns hanging over the yard were all aglow with so many colors. The tables scattered about here and there were draped in tablecloths that matched the many lanterns. Cas stood still taking it all in. There was a band playing something soft on the far side of the yard. The singer looked familiar. Dean raised a hand in a little wave. The singer waved back. "Ash." Dean seemed to read Cas' mind. "He may have gotten the invite when I mentioned him to Pam. He does most of the parties. He didn't get to do the last one, because Ellen needed him to cover a shift. The restaurant comes first for him."
They made their way through the first little crowd to the side of the yard. There was a row of adirondack chairs, all multi-colored in vibrant shades of red, blue, and green. Charlie plopped down in a blue chair and said, "Go get us some beers, Dean."
He dipped low at the waist and said, "As you wish, your highness." He stood again and said to Cas, "What about you? Beer?"
"What no lordy titles or subservient bowing?" Cas rolled out his lip.
Dean stood in front of him and took his hand, bowing over it, he said, "Your highness, would you like for me to fetch you a beer?" He pressed Cas' hand to his forehead, and Cas just sat down right then. Thankfully, the red adirondack chair was there to catch him. Dean laughed at him and said, "You are ridiculous."
"Beer, good." Cas' hand fell to his lap when Dean released it.
"Sure thing, cave dude." Dean sauntered off toward the table of foods and beverages. Charlie popped up and scooched him over so that she could sit on the edge of the seat with him.
"So, we good, Cas?" She took his hand and held it a little.
"Sure." He was still watching Dean go.
"You sure you aren't mad?"
He looked at her then. "Well, don't set me up with some random guy, and we'll just call it even." He added a pointed nod to make himself clear.
"No random guys, promise." She smiled as she said it, and Cas was left with a feeling that she had other plans. Her gaze drifted out to Dean.
"Please, don't Charlie." He was practically begging.
"No random guys, Cas. I don't make idle promises." She turned back to the crowd. "There will be nothing random, whatsoever about who I set you up with." She laughed at his look of abject horror.
Dean was heading back to them with three beers somehow clasped in his hands. He got to them and held out the beers in one hand to them. "Take." Charlie reached up and pulled one of the bottles free. Cas took one of the other bottles. Dean sat in the empty red adirondack chair and looked over to them. "So, what did I miss?"
"Promises." Charlie tipped her head back as she said it into an awkward little upside down tilt. She leaned back into her fully upright and normal position. She scanned the rows of party people and her eyes landed on one in the distance. "What about that totally not random guy there, Cas?"
"What are you talking about?" Cas followed her gaze out to the crowd. "No, way. Way out of my league." The guy she was looking at was tall, sandy blonde hair. He had a suit jacket over a grey t-shirt. He looked like he should be in a band. He was oozing confidence from even this far away.
"So, not out of your league. You, my friend are a total hottie, and you just don't see it. So, what do you say? Should I go break the ice on your behalf?" She was a fully grinning face right now, and Cas just wanted to crawl into a hole and die.
Dean decided to pipe in. "I have no clue who you are even looking at." He was squinting out into the crowd. Charlie got up and sat on his lap.
"You, are totally not looking into the right part of the crowd." She had her face next to his and was trying to line his head up so that he would see what she was seeing.
"He doesn't have the Dar, Charlie. He won't just find the guy."
"That is such a myth. You can't just tell something like that from all the way over here." Dean was still squinting. "I still don't see who you are talking about. Everyone over there seems like they could be in your league."
"You are not seeing him then." Dean shrugged as Cas said this. Charlie tried to reposition Dean's head. Cas said, "Seriously, Dean, he is like right there." He finally gave up and just pointed. Of course, as he did so, the gorgeous man looked right at him. He had a tumbler of something in his hand and he lifted it in a casual tilt wave. Cas lowered his hand. "Shit, shit, shit. Why, oh God. Damn it Charlie." He was making sure not to look back now. "How is it that you couldn't just see, Dean? Shit, shit, shit."
The man made his way over to them. They all stared up at him. He came down onto his haunches and balanced his arms on his knees. "So, you were pointing at me."
"Yeah, sorry 'bout that," Cas muttered out eyes downcast.
"Any particular reason?" He was British, shit, shit, shit. Cas just looked up at him and let the lilting accent swim about in his head. The guy had a cockiness as he looked back at him that made him even more attractive.
"I don't even know how to explain myself. I'm a pointer. I point at things, people, yeah." He hated how he sounded, all weak and pathetic.
The guy reached out a hand to him, "Name's Balthazar. Yeah, I know, name doesn't suit me. So, what shall I call you?"
Cas let go of Balthazar's hand and said, "Cas."
"Just Cas huh? Interesting name." He took a drink from his tumbler and Cas gulped down a mouthful of the beer. "So, you live here or are you visiting this lot?" Balthazar waved at Dean and Charlie with his tumbler.
"Oh, sorry. This is Dean and Charlie." Balthazar reached out to them and shook hands with them.
"You two make a rather attractive couple." Balthazar placed a hand on the armrest of Cas' chair to keep his balance.
"Oh, we aren't a couple." Charlie laughed. "I don't play for that team, and Dean's not looking for someone like me, I think."
"Ah, Charlie, you'd be a total catch," Dean said all affectionately.
"I am, but not for you." She turned back to Balthazar. "I came as Cas' friend. Since he lives here, he figured he could let me tag along for beer and free food. Dean lives here too, and he puts up with me."
Balthazar turned to Cas then, "So, you live with Dean then?"
"Huh, uh, no." Cas looked at Dean quickly then back at Balthazar. "I live in my own place up there." He waved in the general vicinity of his apartment. Balthazar nodded.
He turned to the other end of the complex. "Just moved in over there a few days ago. Wasn't so sure about the move until right about now."
"Oh." Cas felt his cheeks color at the subtlety of what Balthazar was saying.
"So, you dance or do you just hold down chairs and drink beer?"
"I don't know that I am much of a dancer. I have, I'm sure, the ability to step on your toes and make you regret talking with me." Cas said it all in what seemed like one breath.
"Doubtful." Balthazar stood up then and reached down to Cas. "Come on." Cas set down his beer and took Balthazar's hand.
He turned back to Charlie and Dean. "You don't mind?"
"Of course not, Cas. Go have fun." Charlie smiled and turned to Dean, elbowing him in the process.
"Oh, no. We don't mind." Dean smiled too, but it was different from Charlie's. It was not a smile that reached his eyes.
He let Balthazar pull him out to the dance floor and into a fast song. He did not know how to handle that. He did his best though. There was a lot of movement. A couple near them was very skilled. He just did his level best to not crush Balthazar's feet. He also did his best to follow Balthazar's lead.
"You're good," Balthazar said over the noise of the band.
"No way. I'm totally just following your lead. I swear you are just seconds away from regret."
"Doubtful again." He swung Cas out, holding his hand as he did so. It looked graceful, and Cas couldn't believe that he was part of the move. They went through several songs like this, and Cas was finding it increasingly more exhilarating. His heart was pounding in his chest when the music finally calmed down into a slow song.
"Wow." He was breathing heavy now.
"Yeah. I thought I was going to have to give up." Balthazar pulled Cas to him, running his hands up around Cas' waist. "This is the speed that I had been hoping for when I asked you to dance."
"Really? You're a great dancer." Cas moved his arms around Balthazar's shoulders.
"Thanks. I just kinda didn't care about the grandiose movements. Slow dancing has another purpose." His lip curled up a little lasciviously.
"So I've been told."
"Looks like your friend is leaving." Balthazar nodded toward where he had left Charlie and Dean. Dean was already stalking off out of the yard.
"I should go find out if anything was wrong. You'll excuse me for a sec, right?" Balthazar's hands fell away.
"Sure. Come back though."
Cas made his way to Charlie. "What's up with Dean?" She was standing by the chair, staring off at the spot where Dean had been.
"I think that you should go talk to him." She was quiet when she spoke.
"Why? What happened?" Cas reached out and turned her to him.
"I really missed it, just how much he was already in this." She wasn't making sense. Cas was trying to process what she was saying. "You should go talk to him. He went back to his place."
"You need to tell me what's wrong. Was he having a Sam moment?" Sometimes Cas could just tell when Dean was thinking about Sam, and when that thinking was turning sad. It was possible that Sam had come with Dean to one of the mixers. Maybe he was reminded of that time.
"It was a Cas moment," Charlie said as she stared up into his eyes.
"What are you talking about?"
"He was fine while you two were dancing before. The fast songs didn't really affect him. He was watching though. He was even smiling at one point. I told him that he should cut in. He just gave me a look like he hadn't realized that was an option. I told him that you would probably like having him cut in. He disagreed with me and pointed off at you dancing and said something about what a great time you were having. I didn't know how to argue with him on that note. You were having a good time."
"I was, but I would have been fine with him cutting in. He likely didn't want to, and you shouldn't make him feel awkward about it. Is that why he left?" Cas pressed his hands into his pants pockets.
"No, he didn't feel awkward about that. He wanted to cut in. He didn't though, because he thought that you would not be happy to trade partners. Then the slow song came on. Balthazar pulled you in and you ran your hands up into his hair, and Dean got up right quick. He started to leave, and I stopped him. I asked him why he was going. He said that he had had a long day and that he was done. He wasn't happy when he left."
"Maybe he needs space." Cas thought out loud, a look of concern blanketing his features.
"Fuck it, Cas. Even if you don't want to admit why he left, at the very least you can acknowledge that he is upset and maybe needing his friend. Go check on him." She pushed at his arm a little. "I'm going to go home. You call me later and tell me how things went." He walked with her out of the courtyard.
"Ah, shit. I told Balthazar that I would come back." He turned half-heartedly.
"I'll go make your excuses. You go to Dean." She pushed him onward again.
"Thanks, Charlie." He moved off to the elevator and on the ride up felt oddly nervous. He could feel it in his stomach first, the feeling that one gets when they fall in a dream, only this was on repeat. He curled his arms around himself as the doors opened on their floor. He stepped out and paused before continuing. His heart was beating fast, like it had been during the dance. There was no reason for this, he thought. Dean was likely just having a Sam moment. Charlie misreads things all the time. Still, he couldn't shake the feeling, like he couldn't shake the little static joy that would cruise through him every time that he saw Dean or felt him walking at his side.
He moved toward the end of the hall, past his own door. For a moment he considered calling it a night, giving Dean space in the process. It was an important moment. He had to push ahead though. If he didn't move ahead, he would just lay in his bed thinking about Dean, thinking about his sorrows, feeling guilty as he did so, because he had Sam's heart beating in his chest, and he would never think for one minute that he deserved this gift.
He rounded the corner and Dean's door was right there. He slowly reached out for the door, intending to knock, but it wasn't closed all the way. As his knuckles came into contact, the door opened. He rested his palm on it and pushed it the rest of the way open. Dean was standing at the window, looking down into the courtyard. The window was open and music was wafting up into the space. Dean turned to him as he opened the door. The light from outside the window was the only thing illuminating the space. Dean's face had a little glow from a combination of moonlight and the lanterns that were outside his window. "What's up, Cas?" His voice was low and husky in the dark. Cas pushed the door closed behind him and walked over to the window, over to Dean. He had a tumbler of some alcohol held by his fingertips.
"You left." There was so much more to say, but he didn't know where to begin.
"Yep." Dean moved the tumbler of alcohol to his lips and took a sip. He leaned into the window frame a little, not looking at Cas. "You should go back. You were having a good time."
"Why'd you leave?" He moved closer to his side. He leaned against the opposite window frame. The light was more on them now. He could see Dean's features better, pinched and sad.
"Had a long day." He looked at Cas then, like he really wanted him to believe it. "I'll just catch you tomorrow. Gonna get some rest." He forced a smile.
Cas reached out and took his tumbler and leaned over to set it on the end table next to them. "Nice try. Why'd you leave?" He wanted to touch him, wanted to let him know that he cared, but he didn't know if Charlie was right. He was so close to believing her though. Dean looked sad. He reached out and rested his hand softly on Dean's arm.
Dean looked at the point of contact and then at Cas. He didn't speak. Cas could feel his heart hammering away in his chest. He needed to hear Dean's reason whatever it was. He let his thumb move over the fabric of Dean's white button up. It was the same shirt he wore when he had met up with him to tour the apartment. "I want you to be happy." Cas' other hand reached out to the line of buttons and ghosted over them.
"I am." He moved closer to Dean, eyes locked on his. He repeated, "I am." Their breathing was in sync as they swayed in impossibly closer to each other without any added contact. "I woke up this morning happier than I have ever been in my entire life. You know why?"
Dean's voice was low and deep like he had just woken up. "No, I don't."
"You, Dean." He took a risk. He moved his hand up Dean's arm and to the back of his neck. He let his thumb weave back and forth from skin to hair. Dean's breathing hitched up a little.
"You looked happier down there."
"Did I? I think that you weren't looking closely enough. You should have cut in, then you would have seen happiness." Cas felt Dean's hands move around his waist then.
The music from outside shifted from a fast, harsh song to a slow classic. Dean turned to the window for a moment and let out a tiny laugh. "Ash."
"What about Ash?"
"He always throws in a song from Back to the Future. It's like his favorite movie. He could be playing a bunch of AC/DC covers one minute and the next it's something Chuck Berry would throw at a crowd." The melody swam up to Cas' ears. Ash had a good voice, low like he was trying to impart secret knowledge to you. He was strumming on his guitar and the words to "Earth Angel" were drawing out even the reluctant dancers. "You could probably get down there before the song ends, get your slow dance."
"Kinda thought that I was getting that with you, here." He pushed in closer, letting their bodies press against each other.
"Oh."
Cas raked his fingers through Dean's hair and felt Dean's fingers spread out on his his back. Dean's thumbs moved in unison in a soft caress of his sides. Cas wanted to move into a kiss. He believed that Dean would want it. He needed Dean to make the move though. He was a little taller than Cas, and so he would have to lean in, or Cas would have to pull him down, just a bit. The song outside was growing in volume as Ash made it through the chorus. Cas could feel the change in Dean's body where their hips pressed together. He glanced down and back up into Dean's eyes. "You want me," he said. It wasn't a question; it was a statement of fact. Cas could feel the want, not just in the press of their bodies, but in the very air that they were breathing. Dean's nod was almost imperceptible. Cas saw it though. "I'll never deserve you, but I want you too."
The words spurred something in Dean. He moved his hands up Cas' back and pulled him tight to his chest. He leaned in and kissed him. The softness of Dean's lips a contrast to the scrape of stubble at his jaw. Cas let his jaw go slack a little, his mouth parting to welcome Dean in. He pushed back at Dean with his body, until Dean was all the way back against the wall. He spread his own fingers wide in Dean's hair, enjoying the feel of it all between his fingers.
Dean's hands were moving along his waistband now, sliding along the boundary between his pants and shirt. His fingers were just grazing along his skin there in a way that made Cas shake a little at the sensitivity. Cas moved his hands from Dean's hair to the front of his shirt. He started unbuttoning from the top. This seemed to be the thing that set Dean on a bolder path. He ran his hands to the front of Cas' jeans and began unbuttoning the top button. Whoa, we're doing this. His mind was already racing ahead to a moment not long from now where Dean's hand would be on him.
He finished unbuttoning Dean's shirt, and Dean unzipped Cas' jeans. Cas' lips migrated from Dean's lips to his jaw, to his neck. He had often wondered what he would taste like. He had imagined that Dean would taste like earth and warm leather. He imagined that he would be salty and sweet. He ran his tongue along Dean's pulse point. His neck now slick with Cas' ministrations. Dean shook, and his hand slipped into Cas' jeans, fingers curling into the space. Cas felt his body doing its own thing; his hips bucking up into Dean's hand. Dean's other hand pulled Cas' pants lower, freeing up the other hand. "God, I want…" Dean breathed out, his hand snaking into Cas' boxer briefs.
And there it was, everything, and all that he had cautiously hoped for but never believed could be his. Dean's hand was somewhat still for a moment, holding him in a firm grip. Cas pressed his lips into Dean's neck and chest, sucking at the rough places. His own hands raked down Dean's chest to his back, and then they dipped into the waistband of Dean's jeans. Dean's hand moved slowly, carefully. Cas let his own fingers knead into Dean as they dipped past the jeans still further. His eyes rolled back up into his head as Dean picked up the pace. His free hand gripped Cas just under his ass and lifted him up a little, pulling him into Dean's chest more. "Dean." His voice like sandpaper shook out of him.
He pushed down on the hemline of Dean's pants, needing to get him free. He wanted to see him, feel him. He made no progress though since Dean's pants were still completely fastened at the front. He was fighting a battle with himself over whether or not he wanted to break free from Dean to undo his pants, or if he was willing to just keep riding out the pleasure that he was receiving from Dean. "God, I've wanted you so much. I've thought about this so much." Dean had his face pressed up into the top of Cas' hair. He took a deep breath and added, "You smell like vanilla."
Cas laughed a little, a shuddering little sound that made him pull back a moment to just look at Dean. He smiled down at Cas. Dean's hand working still in a quiet rhythm. He decided then that he wanted to touch Dean more than anything else. He wanted it even more than he wanted Dean's hand on him, and he was certainly wanting that a great deal. He undid the button on Dean's jeans, then he fumbled with the zipper, getting it down with shaking hands. "I don't want you to think that I'm not enjoying, immensely, what you are doing, but I really need to get your pants off." Dean's eyebrow shot up then.
"By all means." Dean let go of him and pushed his palms out to the wall behind him. Cas slipped his hands into the sides of Dean's jeans and eased them down. They pooled around Dean's ankles. Cas stared at the black boxer briefs that were just a thin barrier between himself and all of Dean. He dragged his fingers up from Dean's thigh over the front of Dean's underwear. The shaky breath coming from Dean was doing so much to Cas' concentration.
"I want to do something." He looked up at Dean and then down. "I just don't have like any experience, so It might suck in the not good way." Dean reached out to Cas' chin and angled him up so that he was looking at him. He kissed him, slow and gentle.
"I won't know if you suck. I've never done this before. I'm gonna go out on a limb though, and say that whatever you do is going to be fucking hot."
"Not so sure. Seriously, tell me if you hate this."
"Damn, Cas. I don't know how else to say this, but you could literally sit in that chair over there as naked as you are right now, and I would likely start coming in minutes just watching you sit. So, I doubt, seriously, seriously doubt that you are capable of doing anything that I will hate." Cas pressed his hands to Dean's shoulders then and ran his lips in a slow drag from his neck down to his chest. Dean had his hands pressed back to the wall again. Cas dragged his nails down Dean's chest to his underwear. He fell to his knees then, mouth hanging open a little in front of Dean. A dawning realization seemed to take over Dean's face. "Yeah, I'm totally not hating this."
Cas nuzzled into the edge of Dean's thigh kissing the inside all the way up to the edge of his underwear. He pressed his thumbs into the top band and pulled them down. Cas just stared at him, and felt like he had lost all sense. His head was flooded with a dizzying spin of thoughts. His heart galloped at a speed that should have terrified him, but it didn't. He felt Dean's hand come up to his cheek. The way his thumb brushed back and forth over him, made Cas realize that he had never wanted anyone more. His lips parted and he pulled Dean to him.
Dean's moan of satisfaction drifted down to his ears. He hummed around Dean, pulling him deeper. "God, I love you." Cas stopped moving for a moment. Did I hear that? No. He focused again on Dean, and the task at hand. Dean's hand was woven into his hair. The second hand joined the first. Cas reached around and gripped Dean's ass, holding him close. Dean was saying his name over and over. Cas could tell that he was making a great effort not to thrust too hard into his mouth. "I'm there, Cas. I'm, Cas…" He could feel Dean pulling him back from his efforts. He let him; although, he had fully intended to take it all. He released Dean as Dean shook through his orgasm, hands still threaded through Cas' hair. "I did not hate that one bit." Dean looked down at Cas and Cas saw adoration the likes of which he had never been the recipient of before.
He pulled Cas up. "I'm glad." He took Dean's hand as he reached out to him.
"Come here." He pulled Cas away from the window. They stepped out of their pooled up pants as they went. They made their way into Dean's room. His bed was not made. He kissed Cas, lightly again as they stood by the side of the bed. When he broke the kiss, Dean said, "I want to see if I have your skills. Care to let me practice on you?"
"God, yes." Cas was grinning past the words. With that, Dean shoved him back onto the bed. "Well, now."
"Sorry. That was a little too eager huh?" Dean looked a little worried for a second.
"Nope, that was hella hot." He scooted up toward the headboard and Dean came down to him, wedging himself between Cas' legs. His head was nestled between Cas' neck and shoulder. Cas could feel the little brush of Dean's lips as they pressed in and out to him. "I've thought about this for what seems like forever."
Dean tipped back and looked at Cas. "When did it start for you?"
"I don't know. Maybe even when it shouldn't have. Like when I was in the hospital." He brushed his hand through Dean's hair.
"You mean I could have made a move like weeks ago, and you would have been fine with it?" Dean's face was more smile than anything else.
"Guess so. Although I would have been surprised. I thought that you were entirely straight." Dean kissed the tip of Cas' nose.
"Guess not. Looks like we both had some misconceptions about things. I thought that you just saw me as a friend." Dean angled himself up on his elbow and let his gaze glide over Cas. He reached down to the shirt that Cas was still wearing. He began pulling it up to remove it. Cas stopped him with a gentle hand.
"Um, I don't think that we should take that off."
"Why?" Dean looked at him confused.
"I don't look right. I don't think that I would be comfortable and maybe you wouldn't be either." Cas looked away for a moment. Dean reached up to cup his face.
"I don't understand." Dean pulled his face to his, kissing him. He slipped back and said, "Don't you get this? I want you Cas, all of you. You are the most attractive person I know, in clothes or out of clothes. You take your shirt off, and I will worship you just as much as I would have before, only I'll have access to your skin and we won't mess up your clothes. Pretty sure you'll need the shirt for when you eventually head back to your place."
"The scar is hideous, Dean. I don't think that you quite understand what you'll see."
"Then show me." Dean sat up then on the bed next to him. Cas scooted up into a sitting position and pulled his legs up to him.
Dean let him have the space that he needed to feel comfortable. Cas looked away for a moment worrying the seam at the hemline. Finally, after some minutes, he folded his hands around the hemline and pulled the shirt over his head. He clutched the shirt to his chest over the scar. "I can't...:"
Dean reached over and rested his hand on Cas'. He leaned in and kissed his forehead, then his temple. He moved along a path that he seemed to be making up as he went. He adjusted himself so that his legs were on either side of Cas'. He reached down to Cas' hips and pulled him down a little. Cas watched him warily, still clutching the shirt to his chest. "I plan to map out your body with my mouth. I plan to kiss every square inch of you. I'm going to start with your neck, and work my way down over your chest. I'll spend an inordinate amount of time on your legs, just close enough to everything that you'll likely be begging me to just get on with it. When I finally do, your shirt will be on the floor, long since forgotten. All you'll be thinking is my name and all you'll be feeling is me giving you the best night of your life."
Cas swallowed audibly. "I think I maybe blacked out a little just now."
"You can also tell me to stop if you want me to, anytime." Dean drew close. He kissed into Cas' neck. He worked his way down the other side now. He came to the center, to just over Cas' Adam's Apple. He pressed his palms to Cas' shoulders and slid them out along his arms until he got to Cas' hands, clutching the shirt. He bucked his hips into Cas. He was beginning to feel the new wave of desire with each of Dean's moves. Dean threaded his fingers through Cas' pulling his hands out to his sides and up over his head. "Want you." He mouthed into Cas's collarbone. He inched his way down. "Want you, so much." His lips streaked down lower, and lower. Cas' head fell back, eyes closed.
He was breathing hard again, the more Dean moved. Dean grazed over his body with his teeth, not biting him, just brushing over his skin a little. He was near the scar, but Cas wasn't entirely thinking about that, because Dean's hands had found an occupation. "Unfair distraction techniques."
"Like I said, I could stop if you want me to. Just say the word."
"No, don't stop."
"That was too coherent. I'm clearly not doing a good enough job." Dean twisted his wrist a little in a pleasant little move that sent Cas' mind swimming again.
"Gah, shit, that." Cas was panting out other not so coherent strings of words.
"Better." Dean sat up a little and moved down the mattress. He looked down from his perch slightly higher than Cas and smiled. "This is exactly what I've been wanting, needing. You just like this. I swear, Cas if you knew how often I thought of you like this, I don't know what you'd do." He dipped in again and kissed the side of his calf. Dean looked up from his lower position and watched as Cas followed his movements. He was slow, and methodical in his approach. Cas wanted to speed him up. He was already feeling like he couldn't take much more.
"Dean." He breathed out. It was all he could do. He hoped that it carried the rest of his desires in the tone. He hoped that it fully conveyed the feelings of, move the fuck up. His hips gave an involuntary punch to the ceiling. Dean smirked. He moved to Cas' other leg, and began the careful mapping plan anew. "For the love of God, Dean."
Dean laughed and kept sucking kisses into his leg. He let his hands move up a little past his lips. Cas thought that it might lead to more contact. Dean's hands came to a stop at his thighs though. His fingers began kneading the flesh there. Dean moved up his leg, dragging his tongue along the inside where the skin was most sensitive. Cas moaned again and another string of incoherent words slipped out. "You seem to want something. What do you want me to do to you Cas?"
"No more legs." Dean laughed at him and made the last few inches of flesh a rush to the finish line. Dean hovered over Cas just long enough for him to feel hot breath on him. He opened his eyes and watched as Dean's mouth opened and slipped over him. It was warm and tight. He felt like he had no sense anymore of what was up or even real. He felt his eyes rolling back into his head as Dean's tongue moved lazily in his mouth around him. Cas lowered his hands to the sheets and found himself strangling them with each movement of Dean up and down. His whole sense of anything swirling, ebbing, flowing, everything was just Dean now, and his lips, his hands, his too beautiful mess of hair bouncing there just for him.
He was not sure how much more he could take. He was not controlling himself. He was a writhing, thrusting mess. His body was Dean's. Dean was the driver now. He was reaching for him. He was holding his head, wanting to warn him to stop, but not wanting to end anything. He finally knew that something had to give. He pulled Dean up a little. Dean slipped off of him. "What?"
"I'm there, so there." Cas was panting wanting Dean's hands on him.
Instead, Dean pressed his lips back down around Cas. He seemed to be throwing even more energy into the final lap. His hands got involved too. His eyes were on Cas' face, watching him as he came to the moment. The orgasm did not seem to surprise Dean. He kept Cas in place through each earth shattering moment of it. Cas' hands were clutching at him. His leg muscles were tight. The sounds coming from Cas as he came down, were nothing short of glory. Dean slowly eased off of Cas and crawled up to him. He tucked his arm up under Cas and pulled him close. Cas felt at home in the crook of Dean's arm. "Don't even think about leaving."
"Hmm." Cas felt his eyelids growing heavy.
"I mean it. You stay." Dean pulled the comforter over them both and kissed into Cas' hair. And if Cas had been more conscious, he'd swear he heard Dean say that he loved him.