Thanks for all the reviews! I would have updated sooner but I forgot I had this chapter done lol I'm home now so I'm hoping that means I'll be able to bang out the rest of DILAD before not too much longer. I still can't believe it's coming to a close sooner rather than later. Thank you all for the reviews, they definitely keep the inspiration going. I do not own anything in this chapter, besides my ocs. Everything else belongs to their rightful owners.
Chapter 43
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Savannah paced the room, her nerves getting the best of her. Juice had been in a funk the last week after whatever happened, he still hadn't told her, and she wanted to do something to cheer him up. Since sex didn't seem to work, and she had tried that first, she needed to think of something else. If he turned down sex with her, something really had to be wrong with him. Grimacing to herself, she knew it wasn't the time to make jokes. Even if it was to herself.
Sitting on the bed, her stomach grumbled. She hadn't eaten yet. Her hand rested on her stomach, briefly wondering why she wasn't showing at all. She didn't have a lot of experitize in the matter, but she thought she would have started at least having a bump by now. "Am I really mad about not showing? Fuck, I must be loosing it." She muttered to herself.
She still hadn't told Juice yet. She hasn't even made a doctor's appointment yet. She didn't know what she was doing, and her mom was the last person she wanted to talk about with this. She didn't have a lot opitions.
What if she told Juice? Would he be upset? Excited? She wasn't sure, which was exactly why she didn't tell him. What if it helped him though? What if finding out he was going to be a dad snapped him out of this funk he got himself into? It was worth a shot, wasn't it? Taking a deep breath, she decided that it was.
Walking out of their bedroom, she saw Juice was still in the same spot he was before, now playing a different game. He didn't even turn his head when she cleared her throat. He'd become someone she didn't know in just a matter of days, and it scared her. He was shutting her out, and she didn't like it. "JC? Baby, can we talk?" She asked, her voice small as she rounded the couch to sit on the table in front of him.
"The sentence all guys dread to hear." He said, managing to smile just a little bit.
At least her JC wasn't completely gone.
Knocking knees with him, she shot him a look to be serious. Her smile showed she wasn't mad with him though. "I've got to tell you something, it's been bugging me for a while and I-I just didn't know how to tell you before."
He seemed to sense that this was important and straightened up. He looked actually worried, like maybe his first thought wasn't so off. Clearing her throat, she rubbed her hands together nervously. I'm pregnant. That's all she had to say, so why weren't the words coming? Just open your mouth and say it you idiot, she thought to herself. Her mouth opened a few times, the words dying in her mouth before she could say it. Fear ran through her body, afraid of what he'd say.
"Sav, you're startin' to scare me here." He said, getting her attention.
Taking a deep breath, she nodded before looking over at him. "I-I'm pregnant, JC. I-I took a test . . . it, um, it was positive."
The room went silent, both trying to process what had just been revealed. Juice looked stunned, actually speechless for once. Savannah was waiting on baited breath for his responce. She just wanted to hear him say it'd be okay. That everything would be fine and they'd figure it out together. What she hoped for, what was not what happened.
Suddenly his expression turned grim as it finally set in what she'd said. He stood up, starting to pace as he ran a hand through his hair. "Are you serious? What the fuck, Savannah? You're on the pill. W-we were careful. How-how can you . . . how?" He asked, pausing in his pacing to look at her.
"We weren't always careful, Jc. The pill isn't 100% either. It can happen." She tried to explain.
"Fuck that! Fuck, Savannah! We don't have the money for a kid. I'm working two fuckin' jobs and you're still in school. We're barely getting by as it is. How could you be so stupid?" He snapped, hitting the wall in anger.
She flinched at the loud noise, tears swelling up in her eyes. This was her worst nightmare come true. It was exactly why she didn't want to tell him. "JC, please. J-just . . . . can we just talk about this?" She asked, moving closer as she reached for him.
He flinched back, actually looking disgusted that she'd try to touch him. Her expression turned to one of dispair. He didn't want her near him. "I-I can't do this. Playing house was one thing. You ruined a good thing. I don't want this. I didn't sign on for this. I-I gotta get outta here." He said, grabbing his jacket.
Savannah looked panicked as she realized his stuff was already packed and waiting at the door. When had he packed? She couldn't even focus on that because he was making his way toward his stuff. "JC, please! Please don't go! JC! JC, wh-where are you going?" She asked, begging him not to go.
Her hands had latched onto his arm, trying and failing on keeping him from moving. He just shook her off and grabbed his stuff. Her knees gave out, leaving her on the floor as she watched him. Opening the door, he glanced back with a smirk. "I'm going to Mel's. At least there I don't have to worry about her screwing us up by gettin' knocked up." He said, taunting her almost as he left her there on the floor. The door shut, the bang that followed echoing. Grabbing her head, she let out a blood curling scream.
Savannah shot up gasping for breath, holding her hand over her heart as she tried to catch her breath. Looking around the room, she saw Juice snoring loudly beside her. He was on his stomach, his mouth wide open with his arm wrapped around her. Instead of smiling at the sight of her dorky boyfriend, she felt sick to her stomach.
Covering her mouth, she got up and hurried to the bathroom. She'd just barely made it before she hurled. Once she was sure she was done, she quickly gargled some water and rinced her mouth. Looking in the mirror, she realized how pale she was. Her hair was everywhere, and she had bags under her eyes. She honestly looked like shit.
"Babe?" Juice's voice rang out, awaken from her jumping out of the bed. "Babe, you not feeling good still?" He asked, appearing in the doorway.
Looking against the frame, he looked her over. He'd never get tired of seeing her in his shirt. Even with bed head, she looked beautiful to him. He was starting to get worried about her getting sick so much. Maybe she needed to chill on picking up so many extra hours down at the diner? Maybe she was working too much, especially with her classes on top of that.
Clearing her throat, she quickly cleaned herself up and shook her head. "No. Just something I ate last night didn't agree. Come on, let me brush my teeth and we can shower before work."
"We don't have work for a few hours." Juice said, confusion on his face.
Grabbing her toothbrush, she shot him a wink over her shoulder. "I wasn't planning on it being a quick shower." She said before she started to brush her teeth.
Realization dawned on him as her words sank in and a grin spread out across his face as he dropped his sweat pants and boxers. "Today's startin' off great already. I'll start the water."
When he had his back toward her, she couldn't help but br relieved he dropped his questions about her being sick. She wasn't sure how much longer she could put off telling him the truth, but that nightmare helped her keep it a little while longer. She couldn't risk loosing him, especially if he went back to Mel. He was the first man she's ever loved, and she wasn't ready to loose him because they forgot to put on a condom.
"Babe, you comin'?" He asked out.
Spitting out her toothpaste, she wiped her mouth and nodded. Taking one last look in the mirror, she saw the face of a conflicted and scared girl looking back at her. Juice couldn't see this girl. So, she did what she'd been doing since she found out. She put on a smile and hoped for the best.
"Yeah, I'll be right there."
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Savannah was in the middle of wiping down the counter when Mrs. P came in with a baby in her arms. She was all smiles, craddling the child in her arms as she made coo-ing sounds at it. A little toddler followed in behind her, their little hand gripping Mrs. P's coat. Confusion appeared on her face, wondering who the children were. As far as she knew, Mr and Mrs. P didn't have any children.
"Hey, Mrs. P, who's this?" She asked when they made they way over to the counter.
Before she could answer, Juice came out from the back holding a tub he used to collect the dirty dishes from the tables. The little girl lit up at the sight of him. "Jay!" She cheered, running around the bar full speed.
Juice put down the tub in his hands just before the kid launched herself and he was quick to catch her, tossing her up in the air before hugging her. His smile was spread from one ear to the other, kissing the little girl's head. "Hey, kid. Have you gotten bigger? Last time I saw you, you were just a peanut." He chuckled, shifting her around so she was sitting on his hip
The little girl squealed in delight, wrapping her arms around his neck. "I not a peanut, Jay. I a big girl now." She told him confidently.
Juice chuckled, walking around the counter with her before sitting on the stool across from Savannah with the little girl on his lap. "I didn't know Jose was in town." He said to Mrs. P, glancing between her and the infant on her arms. With a glance to his girlfriend, he knew she had to be so confused. "Jose's Mrs. P's nephew. This peanut is Emelia and that nugget is Mateo." He said before looking at the girl in his arms. "Peanut, this is Savannah. She's my friend."
Emelia didn't look happy to meet Juice's girlfriend. Savannah held out her hand, but Emelia just hid her face in Juice's chest. Her smile dropped in disapointment and she slowly put her hand back down. Would this be how her kid would be? Would they hate her? Would she even be a good mother? Her, a mother? Now that was a scary thought.
Mrs. P cleared her throat, adjusting Mateo in her arms. Savannah tried to hide the terrifed look on her face when he whined. Babys were not her specialty, especially crying ones. God, she'd only held Opie's kids once or twice, and that was years ago. "I have to make some calls. Savannah, can you hold him for a moment? I won't take long." She asked, shifting the baby around so she could take him.
Before she could protect, Mrs. P was already moving him into her arms. She adjusted her arms until she was holding him just right. "There, you're a natural. I'll be back in a few minutes." She said, stroking her cheek quickly before heading into the back.
Savannah felt like a deer stuck in the headlights as she stood there as stiff as a board. She was afraid to move, afraid that she'd wake him up and he'd start crying. "Babe, it's alright to breathe, he won't bite. Doesn't have any teeth, he couldn't even if he wanted to." He tried to joke, but the glare she sent him made him chuckle nervously, rubbing the back of his neck.
Savannah's glare turned to a look of fear when Mateo started fussing. She looked absolutely terrified, and Juice would have teased her about it if he didn't think she'd bite his head off for it. "Oh-oh, um, wh-what do I do? I broke him. Oh my god, I broke him. JC, do something. Fix it." She said, starting to panic.
Juice shook his head. She had this, she just had to believe in herself. "You got this, Sav. Just rock him a little. Gently. And don't stress, it'll just upset him more. He can feel when you're upset." He intrstucted her.
Secretly, he just didn't want to risk the kid shitting on him, but he did believe Savannah had this. She was good at the mothering thing. She'd taken care of him just fine. How much harder could it be to take care of a baby? He watched as Savannah nervously started rocking the baby in her arms. She was still stiff at first, but soon enough she seemed to relax and so did little Mateo.
"See, he likes you. You just had to relax." He said, smiling when he noticed Savannah actually enjoying holding the child in her arms.
Mateo reached for her cheek, pressing his hand against it. She looked stunned at first, but a smile slowly appeared on her face as she started to talk to him. Seeing Savannah with a baby sparked something inside of him. He liked the image, if he was being honest with himself. He thought of the future he wanted with her, a future hopefully with them living in an actual house that they bought together with kids to fill it. Not to mention a dog too, cause he knew when was finally able to have a house, he was getting a dog.
Savannah looked up and blushed when she noticed Juice watching her. Her cheeks reddened and she looked away. "What are you staring at? Did he spit up on me or something?" She asked nervously, quickly checking to make sure the baby hadn't in fact done that.
Shaking his head, he gave her a small smile. "Nah, you just look good with a baby, Sav."
That comment sent chills down her spine. Just this morning she was having nightmares of how he'd react to her being pregnant, and here he was telling her she looked good with a baby. Talk about screwed up. Clearing her throat, she flashed him a forced smile and just nodded. She wasn't sure what she could say to that. So, she went with saying nothing.
Just like she promised, Mrs. P was back and relieved her of baby duty. She got Mateo settled in his car seat that she'd put on the counter. It was his naptime, she'd said. Juice had taken Emelia over to one of the tables and started coloring with her. The other bus boy had taken over for him so he could watch Emelia for Mrs. P. It wasn't busy, so it wasn't a big deal. Savannah stood with Mrs. P, watching as she rocked Mateo in his seat.
Would this be her in a few months? Trying to handle having a baby while working and going to classes? She didn't want to give either up, but would be impossible not to when she had a child? What if the baby hated her? She wasn't ready to be a mother. She didn't know the first clue as to how to be one.
"What's on your mind, mija? I can practicularly hear the gears turning." Mrs. P asked, interrupting Savannah's conflicted thoughts.
Savannah's eyes flickered over to Juice and sighed watching him make Emelia giggle, throwing up his arms in exaggeration as he explained something. He'd be a great dad some day, but he couldn't be ready to be one now. It was too soon, they were so young and still had a lot to learn. "I've just had a lot on my mind. Real world is kicking in, and I-I'm not handling it that well." She said, trying to talk around the actual issue.
Unfortunately, Mrs. P had a bad habit of seeing right through her bullshit. She knew something was bothering Savannah, and she would crack her without having to put much effort in. "And what 'real world' problem would that be?" She asked, giving her a look not to lie to her. It was scary how much Mrs. P could act like her ma.
Her eyes flickered to a sleepy Mateo and fear flashed in her eyes. Her hand was absent mindly rubbing her own stomach and it didn't go unseen by Mrs. P. Suddenly it became clear what was bothering the younger girl so much these past few weeks. "You're pregnant." She stated, not needing to ask.
Savannah looked panicked, her eyes flashing over to Juice to make sure he hadn't heard what she'd said. When she was sure he didn't, she looked back at Mrs. P and nodded her head. "I-I took a test a couple of weeks ago. It-it, um, it was positive. I-I haven't told him. I'm scared, Mrs. P. Wh-what if he hates me? Wh-what if he leaves?" She said, her voice cracking as tears welled up in her eyes.
Mrs. P was quick to bring her into a hug, rubbing her back. She reached up and wiped away the stray tear. "Oh, mija. Have you been dealing with this all by yourself?" She asked, even though she already knew the answer. When Savannah nodded, she felt like a weight had been lifted. She was relieved to have told someone. "Have you been to a doctor yet? Have you figured out how far along you are?" She asked, brushing her hair back affectionately.
Biting her lip to keep from crying, Savannah just shook her head. She didn't trust her voice to betray her. She couldn't break down now, especially not here of all places and with Juice not more than ten feet away. He'd wonder what was wrong after this morning, she didn't have the guts to tell him.
"Oh, love. Come here." She said, pulling her to her. Savannah held onto her, fighting to keep her tears in now. "It'll be alright. We'll figure it out, I promise. I'll take you myself. My Pedro can watch the diner." She said, pushing the younger girl's hair back behind her ear.
Savannah wasn't sure if it was a good idea. Going to the doctors was something she was dreading on doing. She felt like it was something Juice should be there for, but she didn't have the guts to tell him so she kept putting it off. Somehow, she knew Mrs. P wouldn't let her do that. She'd drag her there herself if she had to. There was no point in putting up an arguement when it came to Mrs. P, she'd decided.
It was time to face reality head on.
"As for Juan, that boy won't leave you behind. He knows how it feels, his own papa did it to him. He wouldn't do it to his own child, no matter how hard it would be." She explained, squeezing her hand reassuringly.
Hearing about Juice's dad was news to her. He didn't talk a lot about his family, mostly just his sister if nothing else. She was curious to find out more, but what was going now had to be dealt with first. She had to go to the doctors and face her fears. At least she'd have Mrs. P with her, even if it should be Juice. She'd take what she could get. One step at a time.