On the third day of Andromeda

My true love gave to me:

Three trolling aliens!

A shout rang out across the crew deck as Javik stepped off the elevator. Soon afterwards, a rather loud sneeze, followed by laughter. He shut his top set of eyes. Primitives.

As he rounded the corner, he saw the Turian glance slyly in his direction, eyes bird-like and mandibles parted in a grin.

"Hey Javik, have you tried it yet?" he asked eagerly. The Prothean could sense barely-contained amusement pouring out of the sniper.

"What?" he asked, humoring him.

"That planet we went to last? Remember how Shepard didn't go down because 'Humans are allergic to the atmosphere'? Well, it turns out... the mere mention of it's name, guarantees at least one Human sneezes." Javik stared at him blankly, and his fringe spiked slightly. "I'll demonstrate. ALCHIKA!"

Nothing happened. Garrus raised one talon.

"Wait for it... wait for iiiiit..."

A single sneeze sounded from somewhere behind him, and Garrus' grin widened.

"Pure. Coincidence." Javik told him. "You are wasting your time, Turian."

"Oh yeah? Hey, Tali!" Garrus called across the mess at the Quarian. "What was the name of that planet Shepard wouldn't go on again?"

"Alchika." she called back. On cue, the nearby Donnely sneezed rather violently, all over Gabby's breakfast. The Quarian looked up at Garrus, set her plate down, and made her way over while Javik once again dismissed the occurrence, sensing suspicion from the suited woman as she approached.

"Garrus, what are you doing?" she asked reproachfully.

"Nothing, my dear Tali. Just ah, talking about a planet that Humans are so allergic to they sneeze at the mere mention of it's name." he told her smoothly. She crossed her arms over her chest, mirroring Javik's stance.

"Really? Are you sure it's not just a coincidence?" she asked. the Turian let out an annoyed huff, fringe spiking in annoyance.

"What do I have to do to prove it to you two? ALCHIKA, ALCHIKA, ALCHIKA!" he shouted. Javik snorted and turned to leave, only to freeze and look around as a chorus of sneezes erupted all around him, and all the nearby Humans glared at the Turian.

"Keelah..." Tali exclaimed softly.

"It's real!?" Javik almost laughed. Almost. It was such a pointless thing, making Humans sneeze, but he'd never heard of a word triggering such effects before, let alone the name of a planet. "In my cycle, there was no such thing as a species allergic to a word."

"In our cycle, we've learned to accept these weird things when they happen; there's really no point in questioning it anymore." Garrus shrugged, grinning.

"ALCHIKA!" Tali shouted. Someone sneezed in the background, and she doubled over with laughter. "Keelah, I can't believe this! We have to hack the Citadel intercoms now."

"Simply for the purpose of messing with the Humans?" Javik blinked his lower set of eyes. How immature.

"Well, you have to admit, the thought of one in ten Humans on the Citadel sneezing all at once is... awesome. Besides, didn't you once say you loved teasing primitives?" the Turian pointed out. "Alchika!"

Another sneeze.

"Well, maybe it is a little mean to do this to them..." Tali pondered without true remorse. "Alchika!"

Yet another sneeze.

"Alchika." Javik stated. A loud sneeze just behind him, a ray of irritation piercing the air.

"Really, you three?" he turned to see the Commander glowering at them, having been the victim of the allergen that he had just uttered. "Garrus, I expected. Tali, I expected to be nicer about it. Javik... I just thought you were more mature than this."

"It is your own fault for being allergic to a word." he tried. Perhaps the lamest thing a Prothean had used as an excuse in 50,000 years... or ever.

Because... reasons. This was originally going to be the whole squad sneezing the daylights out of themselves on a planet called Alchika, but then it turned into thisssss. I have no idea how it came to be sneezing, don't ask.

Yes, time does fly. And CelticKnot, I seriously suggest giving Destiny a try; the next live event, Age of Triumph is coming up, and dare I say, rewards gained will result in some kind of bonus to players transferring to Destiny 2 later this year. If I had never started playing Destiny, I wouldn't have given Mass Effect a chance; I was never one for shooter games, but that one got my attention. A nice, clean MMO shooter that plays to my obsession with picking up shiny objects and collecting epic outfits.

Look up to tomorrow; Solana's gonna blow your minds...

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