Chapter summary: In the interim days awaiting Edward's visit, Bella contemplates her own identity, asking questions about her own self now. Edward calls on the Swans, then Bella invites herself to the 'Hale' residence the following day, pushing past all objections, to secure another visit with 'Lillian'.

Tuesday couldn't have come soon enough.

I realized that the Hale family had been here all of four days, and I found my life rather uninteresting without their company. Certainly, there was work to keep me occupied: assisting Pa at the courthouse, mucking the stalls, feeding and riding the horses (of course, Pa rode Patches; I rode Dolly), reading, and I got to catch up on that letter I'd been meaning to write to Ma. But when I sat down to do that task, it brought on other problems: what to put in the letter?

Surely my day-to-day work held no interest for Ma, as it now held no interest for me. Come to think of it, I'd never really been interested in the work anyway; I'd just been going through the motions of my life, but never really living it. Marching along a fixed path, never questioning where it would lead, because I already saw the future in the town folk here. They'd been born here, they worked here, and they'd die here. Same as me. Did I have any other options? None that I'd really considered that were any different than the one that I followed. I could've followed Ma back East, but then I'd be living the life she lead. It would be different than living with Pa, but it'd be the same: it'd be a life I'd follow because everyone else was following it. It'd be a life I'd go through and then just die, leaving no more of a mark on this Earth than anybody else who blindly followed their own lives.

Not that I'd thought anything differently, that is until now, but what else, until now, had there been to think of? I could blaze a trail through the world that left a permanent mark, like Meriwether Lewis and Will Clark did back in the turn of the last century right through this area of the country, but that wasn't me either. I could change my fate to follow Edward, cleave to him, as it were. But would he have me? It seemed clear, for some strange reason, that he was interested, so I guess he would. But wouldn't that be just the same as following the lives of one of my parents? Following Edward's life?

After 17 years of being just Bella, I finally began to wonder who 'Bella' was. What made this girl interesting to Edward? Did I like her? If I did like her, was that okay? Or did that make me complacent? If I didn't like her, what would I change, and how would I go about changing it? It appeared Edward wouldn't mind discussing these questions. He had already asked me so many, about me and other topics in general, in our walk around town, so he appeared interested in learning about me. Perhaps he could help me learn about me, too. In fact, he would probably welcome it as a challenge. I pondered all these thoughts through the rest of the week as I automatically helped Pa to run the county and the household.

But there were more pressing challenges to consider, at the moment, for example, what of 'Rosalie/Lillian' Hale? Apparently, I had made an enemy in Lillian, the presumably dead and therefore avenging angel. Was I, then, to die because I caught her ire and not her fancy? My last question, asked like that in the privacy and safety of my own home sounded lunatic, but it was entirely reasonable when I recalled staring into the eyes of the cobra.

Besides, what did I do to make her angry? I called on a sick girl; is that some kind of crime? I fully intended to find out, but how? I couldn't ask in front Edward and the Hales. They all seemed so cautious around me, as if they weren't telling me something, as if they were holding something back. I needed to consider how to get her alone somehow.

There was a knock at the door. Apparently, my considerations took me all the way through Pa's work day and supper. I guess the letter to Ma would have to wait for another day. Edward presented himself, with his Shakespeare sonnets. Pa and I sat as he read some out to us. Pa visibly struggling to maintain his tolerance. Listening to poetry wasn't high on Pa's list of favorite things, but he wasn't about to leave me unchaperoned. Pa was a quiet man, but his heart was in the right place, and he would move Hell and high water when it came to me.

The sonnets were beautiful. They were about ... love? death? beauty? I actually wasn't quite sure, but I was sure I loved hearing them. Actually, he could have been reading out the newspaper to us, and it would have sounded as wonderful. His voice was that mesmerizing. All too soon, the visit was over. I didn't get to ask him a thing about what I had been thinking on throughout this past week. So much for my edification. Pa and I saw him to his car, but I did press for something.

"How's" — don't call her Rosalie — "Lillian?" I asked, all concerned.

He reported happily, "Better every day. The migraines are gone, but she's still recovering her strength from the consumption."

"I'd really like to visit her sometime this week..." I offered. Pa grimaced. Fine. I was going to be neighborly, even if everyone else hated me for it. I wished Pa could read my thoughts, because there were too many ways to interpret an angry glare, so I didn't even bother with that.

Edward set the wheels of my mind turning in another direction entirely, however, "Sooner in the week is better than later. We're all going to be out of town Thursday night through the weekend."

"Tomorrow, then, if that's okay with your family? How does two o'clock sound?" Yes, I had invited myself over, but visiting the convalescing was justification enough in my book. Besides, this wasn't Rochester, this was Ekalaka, Carter County: these folks from Town had better become used to Country people popping by to visit. Like me.

Edward didn't seem displeased with this, however, so I took it as an encouraging sign, but Pa found the need to speak up. "Bells, I've got to be doing work for the county during the day. The Hales and Mr. Platt, here," Pa nodded to Edward, "are established, so I've got other things calling now."

"Pa, don't worry about it, I can find my way there just fine."

Pa didn't like that. "Bella, I'd have to escort you; it wouldn't be proper for a young lady ..."

I cut him off. Since when is the New West the hub of propriety? Last I checked, Montana didn't promote riding side saddle. Our own Butte, anyone? Copper miners, saloons and hookers: I'm sure high tea was served every day there! "Pa! I'm going to visit" — 'L', think 'L'! — "Lillian, not Edward! ... no offense, Edward." I added that apology hastily.

"None taken, but I agree with your father ..." he replied easily.

I was cutting everybody off today. So much for the 'young lady' image. "I'm not a baby girl anymore, and I can handle myself! If you upstanding gentlemen are so worried about my virtue, I'm sure Dr. and Mrs. Hale will protect it and me, right, Edward?"

"I'll check with Carlisle," he caved. They didn't have a telephone installed at their house — the line for electricity hadn't even been run out there yet — so he promised to leave word at the courthouse tomorrow morning.

"... and that word will be that it's okay for me to visit at two o'clock tomorrow, right?" I wasn't going to allow Edward the room to weasel out of this by leaving some excuse note tomorrow.

"Bella," he exhaled, "probably." That's the first I've heard anything less than amiable from him. I guess I was pushing it. Well, he had to deal with how I am ... which we would be discussing, anyway. He continued: "We are in the midst of moving in and Carlisle needs to establish his practice here. I'm appalled, in fact, that he hasn't started working already."

Nothing doing. "Don't worry about Dr. Hale receiving me properly, Edward. Mrs. Hale will be there, I'm sure ... unless she's a nurse?"

He rolled his eyes: "No, she's not, and, yes, Esme, at least, will be there."

"Good. That's great! So you can simply convey I'll be there tomorrow, 2 pm; no need to stop by the courthouse." See? Problem solved. My decided nature always paid off: I didn't need to deal with problems, as I simply did what I needed to do. Anybody who didn't like it could sit in the bushes and watch.

Well, at least that was one thing I was sure about myself.

And Edward chivalrous nature had returned. "Until tomorrow then," he replied formally, but kindly — I guess he decided not to push back — with a ghost of a smile as he executed a slight bow that didn't look silly or out of place for him at all. That's just the way he was: a perfect gentleman. We didn't have many of those in Carter County. I might have to behave better if I wanted him to keep calling. I wondered if the new me needed to be a perfect lady. Hmm, that might be hard. Or, maybe he preferred feisty and that was why he was calling on me now? Or, the inarticulate? Or maybe I was spending way too much energy thinking about how to rearrange who I am for a boy I've only just met. I grimaced at that thought, but then fought right back, for a boy I've only just met who happened to be the first boy ever to call on me. I rather liked that last thought, it made me think that my interest in him was returned. Perhaps not equally, but returned none-the-less. That encouraged me. I was also encouraged that we could have a disagreement, but it wasn't the end of the world: he had let me have my way with my invitation to his house, even though it had annoyed him some, but he didn't storm off in a huff, ending this nice poetry-reading visit on a sour note, petulant that he didn't win, like I'd seen some boys around here act. How the girls put up with that, I couldn't imagine. No, Edward — a warmth suffused me just thinking his name — behaved in just the opposite manner, he handled the situation rather gracefully. It was actually sweet of him.

He got into his car and headed off toward his house. He didn't know it, but my pleasant thoughts followed him.

So, now that I had secured the time, I wondered what the visit tomorrow would bring. I was comfortable that tomorrow wouldn't bring much in the way of boredom. I was sure, at least, of that.