On the tenth day of Andromeda

My true love gave to me:

Ten, ways to troll!

Now, I know some of you might be feeling a little... uneasy about being assigned to a Human ship. Having served on one myself many years ago, I find it imperative to educate the youth on creative ways to pass the time. Now, not everything on my personal list would work for you... some of the people involved with these action are dead, and therefor cannot partake in these items of interest.

So, I decided to take the ten best things from here, and show them all to you. A couple are edited, of course.

"1) Befriend the Geth. If you have him wrapped around you finger, you can get him to do all kinds of ways to play with the Humans. Replacing certain sound files with Reaper klaxons, for instance." My dearest Ambassador Tali'Zorah did this several times. When they started getting along, her and Legion became to what equated as 'friends'.

Friends as in 'trolling the entire crew' as a study on 'organic reaction time' because 'Creator Zorah said so'.

"2) Hide the coffee." Do this one at your own risk. According to several other species, the stuff is disgusting, but the Humans practically need it to survive. When they don't have it... it is NOT pretty. *muttering*I'm pretty sure Javik still has a scar...

Sorry, um, did I say that out loud?

"3) Beat box." And be annoying about it; there's no point in it at all if some Human doesn't get that little vein in their forehead popping up...

"4) Replace the standard elevator music with heavy metal Elcor grind core." this isn't so much a prank as it is a mercy to everyone.

Trust me on this.

"5) Good, old-fashioned 'kick me' signs." it's an old Human prank. Just write 'kick me' or something else on a sticky note, and discreetly tag it on someone's back.

"6) Hum the theme for 'it's a small world after all', but only the first seven notes." Just watch them; it drives them crazy every time.

"7) Put plastic wrap over the sink nozzle." The results are gratifying.

"8) Draw up schematics for a bayonet on the main gun of your ship. Leave it laying around, where people can see it. And when a certain nosy Prothean popsicle tries to peek at it, gather your things and walk away like it's a top secret project." Okay, wow, this one is outdated. Though you can see the intended target of this particular incident, it'll work with just about everyone.

Try adding some go-faster stripes on your blueprints, though; for style factor.

"9) Get on the intercom and yell 'Alchika' as loud as you can." Trust me, the results... are magical. Be sure to get a vid of it.

"10) Walk around in a Grim Reaper costume for shore leave." In 2185, I once managed to get the entire alien crew to do this. We walked around in a pack, and got stopped by C-Sec multiple times.

We only got caught because they discovered one of us was a Geth. That's when we had to ditch the costumes and run, but Grunt's caught on fire at some point along the way, and Legion got punch in the face... by a guy with a prosthetic hand, so it actually did some damage. We nearly left poor Thane behind.

Ah... good times. Good times.

I think it's pretty obvious who wrote this... only Garrus would dare call Javik a Prothean-sicle.

Dude, the game comes out tomorrow. Expect another chapter today; I was insanely busy yesterday, so I didn't have time to post this.

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