Hello. Sunday again. This chapter didn't quite get to the point I planned. That does mean that there will now likely be an extra chapter. Here we find out why Anne was so annoyed with Athos.

Warning: Does contain description of period typical racism and there are a couple of curses (I think.).

I hope you enjoy it. :)

Chapter Forty-Four

Athos was in the infirmary when Tréville found him. Aramis was asleep again but from the weary looks of the other men Tréville deduced that Aramis had been likely giving them a headache about moving back to his own room. Tréville couldn't help but chuckle slightly. Aramis was rather good at dispensing advice but taking his own advice never appeared register with him.

'Athos,' he called quietly and the musketeer rose from Aramis' beside to Tréville's position at the door. 'The Queen wishes to see you.'

Athos' forehead creased in confusion. 'What about?'

'I honestly don't know but she didn't seem happy. Actually, she appeared angry,' Tréville answered with his own confusion.

'Then I best go and see her,' Athos said as he moved back to his chair to retrieve his doublet.

'What's up?' Porthos asked as Athos put on his doublet.

'The Queen wishes to see me,' Athos shrugged. 'No idea why.'

'I'll come with you,' D'Artagnan moved to stand but Athos stopped him with a shake of the head.

'No,' he sighed. 'Both of you are needed to keep him in check,' he jabbed his thumb towards Aramis' sleeping form. 'I'll be back soon.' Athos collected his weapons and left the infirmary with Tréville leading the way.

'I don't know why Her Majesty wants to see you,' Tréville turned to the younger man. 'Just be careful. She did her best not to show it but she was shaken by seeing Renard's body.'

'I will,' Athos nodded as Tréville moved towards the stairs. Athos wondered what he could have done to annoy the usually compassionate and gentle queen.

Anne was pacing in her chambers. How could Athos show mercy to that criminal?! Constance was watching on helplessly as for once the Queen had refused to confide in her.

'Constance, make sure all of my other ladies are out of my chambers,' Anne said for the third time. 'I wish to speak to Athos alone but I will need you in the antechamber to stop us being interrupted. No matter what you hear you do not come in.' Anne looked up and saw how worried Constance was.

'Yes, Majesty,' Constance sighed but looked imploringly at the Queen but received no answer to her pleas.

They heard a knock on the antechamber door and Constance moved to answer it. Athos stood before her with his usual expressionless face but he noticed Constance's emotion.

'What's happened?' he asked.

'I don't know,' Constance said quickly. 'She's angry at you and she won't tell me why.'

Athos looked thoughtful as they quickly moved to the second door and Constance opened it. Athos entered, removed his hat and bowed. Anne waved Constance away to leave her alone with Athos.

They stood in silence for a moment but Athos could feel the anger radiating from the Queen. Something he had never felt before.

'How could you, Athos?' she asked quietly making Athos raise his eyebrows in surprise.

'I'm not sure what you mean, Your Majesty?' he replied clearly confused.

'You would show mercy to a man who doesn't deserve it!' Anne had raised her voice as Athos finally twigged why she was annoyed.

'You saw Renard's body and Tréville told you what happened,' Athos stated as he tried to think of a way to calm her.

'Yes he did. How could you betray Aramis like that?!' Anne was clearly angry and Athos did his best not to step away from her. 'Do you not care about Aramis at all?!'

Something inside Athos snapped. 'How dare you?' he roared forgetting who was in front of him. 'You imply that I would knowingly hurt Aramis? He is my friend and brother and means more to me than you will ever know.' He was seething as the Queen glared resolutely back.

'Then how could you show mercy to a man that kidnapped your Queen and Captain and then tortured you so called brother?' she seethed back as Athos realised that she was still raw with emotion and that this was more about Aramis than perhaps her own experience. He may have underestimated the feelings between them. Greatly. While he had known Aramis' feelings were genuine he had always thought that for the Queen Aramis was merely a crush, nothing more. He had also expected Aramis to move on but the marksman had continued to dwell and the child hadn't helped matters. The Queen was displaying her love for Aramis with her anger that his torturer hadn't suffered. This was more complex than he had given it credit for.

He turned and spied a decanter of wine and decided that they were beyond normal protocol now. He was also aware that Constance couldn't have failed to hear them in the next room. He moved over to the decanter and the two glasses and brought them over to the Queen's table where he filled the glasses generously.

Anne eyed him suspiciously but did not mention the detour from protocol. She was waiting for an answer.

'Please,' Athos waved to one of the empty chairs. 'I understand how you feel but please let me explain my actions.'

Anne hesitated for a moment before taking a seat and sipping the wine. She was clearly still seething. Athos took this as a cue to continue as he seated himself and drank a sip from his own glass.

'Firstly, you should know that Aramis completely agreed with my actions,' he stated waiting for her reaction. There was slight furrow of her brow and nothing more. 'As did Porthos and D'Artagnan.'

Anne shifted a bit in her seat as Athos' statement had made her uncomfortable and she knew he wouldn't lie about the others agreeing with his actions. Athos saw this and continued.

'What Renard did to you, Tréville and to Aramis was unforgivable,' he said quietly. 'When we rescued Aramis Renard and his men fought valiantly. We killed all of Renard's men and chained Renard in the same cell in which he had kept Aramis.' Athos saw Anne gulp slightly as she registered what he told her. 'He must have had a vial on him that we hadn't noticed. We were too busy with Aramis and his wounds to care about Renard. He drank the vial of hemlock trying to kill himself quickly. All he did was cause himself to suffer for what would have been many days if I hadn't shot him.'

'And so he should have,' spat Anne as she glared at Athos again but this time she saw sympathy in his eyes. 'He deserved to die in pain.'

'Did he?' Athos asked calmly. 'Did he really?'

'Of course he did,' Anne replied straight away. 'He captured me and Tréville, he murdered your colleagues and he tortured Aramis. He would have left Aramis to die in pain and he nearly did! He was a bastard of a man who deserved to suffer for what he did.' She glared at Athos as if daring him to contradict her.

'If I had left him to die in pain and suffering, how does that make me any better than him?' Athos asked calmly.

Anne ducked her head as guilt welled within her. She had been so caught up in everything that she had wanted a man to die in considerable pain. Still, she could not shake the feeling that it would have been deserved.

'I suppose it would lower you to his level,' Anne choked out.

'Indeed, but I can see you are still not convinced,' Athos replied quietly before sipping his wine.

'Surely he deserved the fate he would have left Aramis to,' Anne glared at Athos but she was taken aback by his lack of reaction. She couldn't possibly decipher what was going on in his mind.

'Would it help if I told you that my initial reaction was the same as yours?' Athos said calmly. He now felt he had a grasp on the situation and he wasn't going to relinquish it.

'It was?' Anne looked taken aback.

'I know for a fact that it was the same for Porthos and D'Artagnan,' he continued. 'We are all slave to our emotions but we are also able to apply logic and understanding to the same situation.'

Anne couldn't look at Athos now. The anger was abating but she was still struggling to understand why he had shown mercy. Athos watched as the Queen's turmoil was laid bare. She, like him, was usually very good at hiding her emotions but here it was clear for him to see. He realised he would need to explain it more thoroughly which also meant exposing his emotions.

'I have a theory,' Athos started and Anne raised her head to look at him, 'that there are two types of people. Those that enjoy inflicting pain and suffering and those that think they will enjoy it but feel guilty afterwards. We all have notions that certain circumstances will make us feel better. Putting someone who has caused you pain through pain themselves is often appealing. However, often that feeling does not last very long and can turn to guilt or it can become an addiction.'

'You think Renard was addicted?' Anne asked looking confused.

'I don't know,' Athos replied honestly. 'I know that he believed that Aramis had wronged him and that Aramis deserved the torture. He felt Aramis deserved to die in pain.'

'But-.' Athos held his hand up to silence her and Anne went quiet.

'Renard believed he was giving Aramis what he deserved,' Athos looked serious now. 'Just as you believe that Renard should have suffered.'

'What must you think of me?' Anne deflated before Athos' eyes. 'I'm as bad as he was.'

'No, you're not,' Athos said quietly. 'Because I don't believe you would have ever carried it out. I, on the other hand, am aware of the consequences.'

'Athos?' Anne asked as he swilled the dregs of the wine in his glass. He knew he had to tell her to get the point across but it wasn't a memory he wanted to revisit. He downed the rest of the wine and stared at the table. He noticed Anne refill his glass. 'Athos?'

'I know about the guilt in leaving a man to die in pain,' Athos said quietly. 'I too felt he deserved it but I know now that I was wrong. No-one deserves to die in pain if it can be avoided.'

'Please, Athos?' Anne could see his need to share this and she would never think any less of the man before her. She was certain of that.

'Do you remember the Comte de Marchant?' Athos asked.

'Oh what a horrible little man,' Anne said immediately making Athos' mouth quirk into a small smile. 'Always going on about how important nobility were and looking down at any woman, including me. I often feigned headaches to get away.' Anne was aware of the Comte's fate but she wanted to hear this from Athos.

'Yes, quite,' he smirked as he drank some more wine. 'The man was, forgive me, a complete arse,' he said as Anne grinned at his choice of words. 'Porthos and I were given the task of delivering a message to him. Aramis was unable to come because he had hurt his leg a couple of days previously. We were in the presence of the Comte as he wrote a reply to the delivered message. He made it very clear that he objected to Porthos being part of His Majesty's elite soldier regiment. In fact he had suggestions of where Porthos would be better suited.'

'What did Porthos do?' Anne was disgusted at the thought of Porthos being attacked like that.

'He bore it stoically as he usually does,' Athos sounded rather resigned. 'It's usually him controlling Aramis and myself at times like that. Aramis can get particularly defensive of Porthos,' Athos held a small smile for a few seconds. 'We were happy to be away from the Comte's lands but we were attacked about an hour down the road. Porthos was taken and I was left propped against a tree knocked out. I was found by a nearby farmer whose wife looked after me. I had a serious concussion and was unwell for a few days. I finally managed to piece everything together when I realised I still had all my weapons, the letter and nothing was missing from either of the saddlebags.'

'The Comte had men attack you?' Anne looked shocked as Athos nodded.

'Yes. That was the only reason I could come up with,' Athos was now starting to shake slightly. 'Bandits would have taken the weapons and provisions and I still had the Comte's reply. It took me another day but I found the old farmhouse where they were keeping Porthos. The Comte's carriage was drawn up outside. I was beyond angry. I shot the first man I saw and threw my dagger at the next. The Comte was trying to get into the carriage but he shot a pistol at me which grazed my left arm. I didn't feel it as I ran at him my anger saw to that. It was over quickly as he fell. I realised I had inflicted a fatal wound but it would take hours for him to die. I raced inside and dispatched the other men eager to fond Porthos. Porthos had been beaten every time he had disagreed that his only use was as a slave.' Anne couldn't control the gasp that left her at Athos' words.

'That is awful,' Anne said looking shocked. She had never really understood what could befall these men and the terrible things humans could do to each other.

'He recovered,' Athos smiled back. 'I got him to the farmhouse where I had been cared for but before I left I saw the Comte lying on the ground. I knew he was in pain and I also knew he would die and that it would take time. He looked at me, his eyes begging me to kill him and I refused. I will never forget that look. I tried to justify my actions by telling myself that he deserved it. Aramis knew something was wrong but I blocked him out. We hadn't known each other long so he was a bit offended. Now he just waits for me to tell him,' Athos gave a small smile. 'In the end it troubled me so much that I told Aramis everything. I expected him to tell me that I was a terrible person who should no longer be a musketeer. That he would tell the Captain and I would be gone.'

'Clearly that didn't happen,' Anne smiled softly.

'He told me about the time that he had done the same thing,' Athos sighed. 'How it haunted him and that he vowed he would let no man suffer when he could show him mercy. I later found out that Porthos had also done something similar in the past. So you see, that is why I showed mercy to Renard. Nothing excuses what he did but no man deserves to die in pain when it can be taken away.'

'I see now,' Anne said feeling horribly guilty. 'I'm sorry for suggesting you didn't care about Aramis. I know nothing could be further from the truth.'

'I understand,' Athos honestly.

'Aramis' injuries were so bad and he was so weak, I just-.'

'You saw him?' Athos interrupted as Anne realised what she had said.

'Yes,' she stood and walked over to the fireplace while Athos sighed and stood.

'You know how dangerous that was,' he didn't sound accusing, mainly worried.

'I know, but I had to see him,' she turned to face Athos. 'Had the three of you been there I wouldn't have, but Rochefort said he wasn't going to make it through the night and knew I had to go.'

'You weren't seen?' Athos asked.

'No,' Anne decided against telling Athos about Jean. 'How is he?'

'Honestly? Being a right pain in the backside,' Athos sighed with a fond look.

'Really?' Anne giggled.

'He always tells us that we can't go back to our rooms until we can walk.'

'He can't walk?'

'We he can,' Athos sighed. 'As long as we're propping him up. Almost carrying him to be honest.'

'Will you give in?' Anne was smiling broadly now.

'Yes,' Athos huffed. 'It'll stop his whining but we will not leave him alone.'

'Thank you for being so understanding, Athos,' Anne was now looking rather more like herself.

'I apologise for raising my voice,' Athos replied.

'I deserved it,' Anne moved towards the door and found a rather worried looking Constance sat stiffly in one of the chairs.

'It's ok Constance,' Anne smiled. 'We have sorted out my misunderstanding.'

Constance looked from Athos to Anne and relaxed as they did seem far less tense.

'Sorry about the shouting,' Athos added.

'I thought a war was going on in there,' Constance muttered making Anne smile and Athos smirk.

'I'll tell you about it later,' Anne suddenly looked to Athos who nodded his approval. 'Why don't you go and see Aramis?'

'Maybe you can talk sense into him,' Athos muttered under his breath making Constance smile.

'See you later,' Anne said as she moved back into her room as Athos and Constance made their way to the stables.

Constance and Athos arrived at the garrison after riding in silence. It was a comfortable silence as Constance felt it best not to antagonise Athos with what happened with Queen Anne. She had heard him shout but she also knew that he had managed to resolve whatever was on the Queen's mind.

Athos wasn't so much thinking about his meeting with Her Majesty but more something she had said.

They dismounted and headed straight for the infirmary. They both shot each other an amused look as they heard raised voices through the door.

Athos entered first to see Aramis trying to stand up on his own holding onto the bed and bedside table. D'Artagnan was stood close enough that he could catch him while Porthos was stood, arms folded, on the other side of the bed with his best 'I'm not amused' expression.

'Give it up, Aramis,' Porthos did actually sound rather amused. 'You can't walk yet.'

'So...,' Constance stood with her hands on her hips as she gained the attention of every man in the room. 'This is what happens when I leave you boys alone.'

'He said he could walk,' D'Artagnan tried as a defence.

'There's two of you and you can't manage one Aramis?' Constance started to stride over to the bed. 'Back to bed,' she said seriously as Aramis rolled his eyes and started to climb back into bed. Once in place laughter filled the room and Constance looked rather proud of herself.

'You tell 'im Constance,' Porthos grinned.

'I still want to go back to my own room,' Aramis whined as he folded his arms across his chest.

'Constance,' Athos called gaining everyone's attention. 'Do you remember Rochefort being here when you looked after Aramis that night?'

Constance suddenly went pale. She'd forgotten all about Rochefort with Anne's arrival and Aramis finally recovering. She stumbled slightly but D'Artagnan was close enough to catch her.

'I forgot...all about that,' she stammered as Athos quickly moved the chair so D'Artagnan could place her in it. 'What he could have done. No...that's why he was here. He could have killed you,' she looked terrified as she looked at Aramis and that night came flooding back to her. 'I shouldn't have left you alone.'

'Constance calm down,' D'Artagnan said as he knelt by her chair.

'What happened?' Athos knelt at the other side. 'Start at the beginning.'

'Doctor Jardin took me into the office to tell me that he didn't think Aramis would make it through the night,' Constance said quietly. 'He'd given up, I could see it. In the end I snapped and stormed out of the office.' She looked apologetically at Aramis. 'Rochefort was stood over you. To think what he could have done. He could have killed you and it would have been my fault!'

'Constance, that is not true,' Aramis said firmly.

'But it is!' she wailed. 'He could have killed you while I was in the office.'

'But he didn't,' Athos said firmly. 'It doesn't matter what he could have done. He didn't because you were here.'

'Athos is right,' Aramis agreed. 'You looked after me so well Constance. Don't blame yourself for something that didn't happen.'

'But-.'

'But nothing,' Porthos growled. 'You didn't do anything wrong and Rochefort didn't get 'im. No point in worrying what could have been.'

'They're right,' D'Artagnan squeezed her hand. 'You were wonderful Constance.'

'I shouldn't have left you,' she muttered while glancing at Aramis under her lashes.

'There was only you Constance,' Aramis said but he saw a quick flash over Athos' eyes. Did Athos know Anne was here? 'It takes all three of them to look after me!'

A momentary silence followed as laughter then spread throughout the room.

'Rochefort was trying to eliminate you,' Athos said to Aramis as he stood. 'With your and the Duke's testimonies Louis would likely have charged him with treason. We all know now but Rochefort knows our word is not enough for Louis. I think you're safe for now. Safe as us anyway.'

'You've nine lives mate,' Porthos chuckled.

'I think I may be considerably over that now,' Aramis said matter-of-factly causing a ripple of laughter.

Constance smiled as their banter continued. These men didn't blame her but part of her couldn't shake the idea that Rochefort could have succeeded. They lived with life and death every day, never knowing if death was coming. That's why they valued each other so much. If they didn't blame her, then perhaps in time, she wouldn't blame herself for something that didn't happen.

A/N: This was originally meant to be the penultimate chapter but most likely it won't be now. I didn't get as far as I wanted as Athos, for once, kept talking. It was also pointed out to me that the musketeers weren't aware of how close Rochefort came to killing Aramis. They would never blame Constance though.

So we're nearly at the end, but not quite. Still got some brotherly love to give and we haven't quite seen the last of Rochefort in this fic. :)