Chapter Seven
Gale doesn't stay much longer, taking the time to lift me back into bed before he hastily leaves. My mother sits next to me, smoothing my hair back from my face. She whispers comforting words as I sob, but nothing she says can help how I feel. I can only imagine how ashamed Prim feels to have me as a sister.
It feels like forever before Prim returns, peeking her head around the doorway sheepishly before she steps into the room. She forces a small smile at me, and opens her mouth to speak, but her words get caught in her throat and she looks away.
"I'm sorry," she manages to whisper. "I didn't know what to say. I still don't."
She walks closer and my mother squeezes my hand before she stands up to leave. She kisses Prim on the forehead on her way out the door.
"Why didn't you tell me?" Prim asks, her voice quiet.
"I don't know, Prim. I guess I thought you were too young and that maybe you wouldn't understand. Not only have I upset you, but I've also made Gale hate me."
"He doesn't hate you. He's just upset and he's allowed to be. He will come around."
"I hope so," I say, and pat the space beside me. Prim sits next to me and touches my hand.
"Gale will be fine. But I don't want to speak about him. Do you... Is there a boy?" Prim asks, looking up at me.
"No," I reply.
"Will you tell me who he is?"
"No, Prim. I don't want anyone to know. None of this was his fault. I don't want anyone bothering him."
"Do you know him well?" she presses.
I sigh. "I know a bit about him. He's a good person. That's all you need to know. You're too young to be having this talk with me."
"Katniss, I am almost thirteen," Prim reminds me.
"Exactly. You're still a kid. I wasn't going to tell you at all. You must think I'm disgusting."
"I don't think that, Katniss. I think you are very brave. Is that the reason why you've been staying in bed?"
"Yes. Mother said I should have lots of rest," I reply. "I can't wait until I can go back to school. Who would have thought I would ever say that? I just need to get out of this house."
"I'll help take your mind off things but... You don't have to tell me anything. Just know that you can talk to me if you want. I may be twelve, but I might be able to help."
"Thank you, Prim, for not freaking out."
"Oh, I'm freaking out, but I know you are feeling worse than I am. You need comfort, and that is what I'm going to give you," Prim admits. "So, did you tell the boy?"
"No."
"He has a right to know, Katniss. He is the father."
"No. He was the father. There's nothing there to be a parent to. Besides, I was doing him a favour keeping it to myself. What teenager actually wants to be a parent? It would have ruined his life," I explain.
"You don't know that. Not every boy would just leave you to take care of the baby on your own," Prim insists.
"It doesn't matter now, anyway."
"You should still tell him," Prim says, before standing up and heading to the door. "Get some rest."
She leaves the room, and I am left with the mature words she had spoken and an extremely confused mind.
A Week Later
Today is the day I finally go back to school. The whole time I was home all I could think about was attending school again. However, now the day has come, all I want to do is crawl back under my bed covers. My head spins as I panic over the possibility that the whole school somehow found out about what happened. What if Gale told somebody? Would he really do that to me?
The thought of Gale brings a frown to my face. I haven't seen Gale since the day he came home. My mother said to give him space, and that he's just upset, but I can't help but hate him for doing this to me. Doesn't he know that I am upset, too?
"Come on, Katniss!" Prim yells for what must be the hundredth time.
"Okay, I'm coming," I groan, throwing my legs over the side of the bed and stretching my arms above my head.
"You need to hurry. All this time off and you still wake up late," Prim moans. I roll my eyes.
"I'm up. Calm down, Little Duck," I say with a small smile. "I feel so tired. Did mother make our lunches?"
"Yes. I put your sandwich in your school bag," Prim replies, before leaving the room so I can change.
I grab dark trousers from the small basket near my bed and slide them up my legs. I go to pull the zipper and frown when it doesn't move. I huff and continue to tug furiously at the zip. It doesn't budge. I take a deep breath, sucking my stomach in as much as possible before I quickly pull the zipper. This time it goes up with ease and I sigh in relief. However, the relief at finally being able to do up the trousers disappears as I experience the tightness around my waistband. The last thing I need right now is for my clothes to stop fitting. I shake my head, forgetting my thoughts, and throw a shirt over my head before I slide my feet into my hunting boots.
"Hurry, Katniss!" Prim yells again, and I quickly walk out of the room. I brush my teeth in the small bathroom and then weave my hair into a braid over my shoulder before heading to the kitchen and grabbing my school bag.
"Here," mother says, and hands me an apple. "You can't go to school on an empty stomach."
"Thank you," I reply. "I'll see you later."
Prim and I leave minutes later and head to Gale's house in the Victor's Village to walk to school with his younger siblings. Prim knocks the door when we arrive and Rory, Vick, Posy and Gale step outside. Victor's don't go to school so I am surprised that Gale is joining us. I didn't expect him, and now I am on edge.
"Katniss!" Posy squeals, throwing her little arms around me. "I missed you!"
"I missed you, too, Posy," I reply, ruffling the little girl's hair. She swats my hand away with a giggle before putting her hand in mine and dragging me away.
"Wait up, Posy!" Gale yells, and his sister stops. I sigh. He never used to complain when Posy dragged me off. I feel my stomach turn as I become annoyed. I never expected Gale to treat me any different.
"Let's run away from him," I whisper into Posy's ear, knowing it will only annoy Gale more, and she giggles and starts running again.
I run alongside her, laughing at how excited and innocent she is. I wonder if I had had a daughter, if she would have been as carefree as little Posy. I force the thought out of my head as soon as it comes, but the thought still has the power to silence me, my laughter fading to nothing, just as we reach the school gates.
"I said to wait up," Gale snaps as he jogs to us. I let go of Posy's hand so she can go stand next to her older brother.
I turn on my heel, trying to hold in the words I want to yell at him, and walk through the school gates into the schoolyard. Prim, Gale and his siblings follow me. I attempt to keep my lips sealed but the thought of Gale treating me different just upsets me more and more.
"What is your problem?" I finally ask, turning to face the boy that has been my best friend for years. "What have I done wrong?"
"Nothing," Gale snaps, his tone heavily suggesting that there is something I have done wrong.
"I didn't tell you so you would treat me any different than you normally would. I would never have told you if I had known you would react like this."
"Come on, Katniss. Did you think you would tell me and I would be completely fine with it? I admitted to the whole of Panem that I was in love with you, and when I come home, you tell me you don't love me and that the very day I was reaped you were too busy having fun with another boy to even think of me in the Capitol, heading to the arena, where I would face the possibility of my death."
I stare at him in disbelief. The students, both as small as Posy's age and as big as mine, have quietened and focused their attention on us, watching the scene before them with wide eyes.
"Katniss…" Prim warns, putting her hand on my arm. I shrug it off and step closer to Gale.
"I thought you were better than this. Obviously I was wrong. I'm sorry that I was having fun while you were heading to the Capitol, Gale... but I've never heard you apologise to me - the girl you are supposedly in love with - for the fun you have had at the slagheap all these years."
"I have always been patient with you, Katniss. I figured that in the time we spent apart you might have figured out that we were right for each other. But you didn't do that. Instead, you fucked someone the night I was reaped. How do you think that makes me feel?" Gale's eyes don't leave mine as he finishes his speech, and my heart skips a beat as my mind processes what he has just said in front of the whole school.
I feel sick. My hands begin to shake. Gale and I will never be the same again. As the silence between Gale and I drags on, more and more voices start to speak up around us. Some people whisper about seeing me around with a boy, others shout offensive names my way.
"Maybe you should stay home again today," Prim whispers from beside me.
I ignore what she has to say, and instead force myself to keep eye contact with Gale."The Capitol has changed you," I say. "The old Gale would never say those things to me."
The school bell rings, but I make no effort to move. I keep my composure, not willing to be the first one to look away. He blinks, turns on his heel, and storms out of the yard. I swallow hard and bite my bottom lip to stop it from trembling as I blink back unwelcome tears.
"Take Posy to class," I say to no one in particular.
"I will," Prim whispers, taking Posy's hand before doing as I instructed.
I close my eyes for a second, take a deep breath, and then make my way to the entrance of the school. I ignore the eyes I feel on me and put a stop to the lingering temptation to do as Prim instructed and have today off.
I do not want people to think I am weak.
I put on a mask of indifference, and begin to climb the steps that lead to the entrance of the school, completely ignoring the pale and wide-eyed Peeta Mellark as I pass him.