Make You Feel My Love
~Book III~

Disclaimer: I do not own the Avengers nor do I own the plot of Age of Ultron. All rights go to Marvel.
All I do own are my own characters and their stories.

~Chapter 19~
Don't Love Me

It was late in the evening when Steve entered the bedroom they shared. Maria was seated on the bed, her head turning to look at him the moment he stepped through the doorway. He sighed, avoiding eye contact with her and sitting down on the opposite side of the bed, his back turned towards her.

"Steve…" said Maria quietly, not getting a response from said super soldier. "I'm sorry."

At the words, Steve's head perked up slightly.

"I'm sorry for what I've said and how I've been acting," she continued, shifting so she was seated cross-legged on the bed, facing him fully. "It's just been quite…"

"Strange," finished Steve, finally turning too, looking at Maria with a pained expression on his face. "I know."

"Natasha told me some – uh – stuff to say but… I just want to tell you, from the bottom of my heart, that I never meant to hurt you in any way… I promise you that," said Maria, her fingers fumbling with the engagement ring nervously. "It's just that the things that I saw, they made me rethink certain things and…"

"You want to take a break from… us," concluded Steve.

Maria's heart pained at his words and although it had been what she had originally planned, Natasha's words had changed her mind. She couldn't live without Steve, she knew that. And she wasn't prepared to go through the pain it would cause her to end the engagement.

"What? No," she quickly said though Steve held up a hand, hindering her from saying anything else.

"It's okay," he said, nodding his head. "I've been thinking too and… I think the best thing would be to not go through with it. The wedding."

Maria was speechless.

"We're both Avengers. Our lives are too hectic to even try and live normal lives. We're constantly out on the battlefield and I – Well, that doesn't matter. What matters is that we're both happy," said Steve.

"But I'm happy with-"

"And I think we're both happier if we don't have to change the way we are for each other."

"Steve," breathed Maria, looking rather upset about his words. "Listen to me and believe me when I say that I am happy with you. I've never been happier in my life then I am with you by my side so don't you dare say anything else. And we don't have to change ourselves to make this work, not at all."

"Yes, we do," said Steve. "Because I can't…" He looked up towards the ceiling once, letting out a long sigh before he seemed to gather the strength he needed to continue his sentence. "I don't think I can live without a war."

"If this is because of what Ultron said-"

"No, it's because of what I saw, Maria," he snapped, causing Maria to close her mouth quickly and stare at him as he continued to speak in a calmer way. "Wanda showed us our deepest fears, she showed us what's hidden in our unconscious minds… And she showed me what would happen if I stopped; stopped being Captain America. It wasn't very pretty. And she showed me what would happen if I did… and it wasn't very pretty either."

"I'd never ask you to stop," said Maria quietly. "You know that."

"But you would, after a while," he said. "Because we can't continue fighting the rest of our lives. And at some point you'll want to just… retire and be with me but I can't give you that, Maria, I can't."

"You're right, we can't keep fighting the rest of our lives. But I won't just leave you because you're not ready to stop. Please, Steve, you know that I'm not like that. And, fine, maybe I will be ready to stop first and then I will. But I won't force you to come with me just like you won't force me to continue," said Maria, shifting and grabbing Steve's hands in hers. "This is still Wanda's powers talking; I know it is. But we can conquer this-"

"I think we should break off the engagement."

They both looked up into each other's eyes shocked as the words came out of Steve's mouth. It was as though Steve himself hadn't thought to go through with it or thought he'd say it out loud, though once he had, he let go of her hands.

"You can get someone better," said Steve. "Someone that can give you what you deserve. A chance of a normal life. "

"Steve, look at me, I'm not normal," said Maria with a trembling voice. "I'm a Mutant. What sort of normal life can I ever get?"

"A better one than the one you've signed up for," said Steve, offering her a saddened smile which she didn't return at all. "This is for the better."

"No, it's not," she said, tears appearing in her eyes. "Don't you understand that I want to be with you? I love you, Steve!"

Steve looked away from her as she said these words, shifting slightly on the bed; "Don't, Maria. Don't love me."

He stood up from the bed, beginning to round it to walk towards the doorway. By now, tears were streaming down Maria's cheeks. She didn't understand anything. What had he seen that made him think that this was the right choice? Those were just fears, not a prediction of the future, as she had realized thanks to Natasha.

"You, uh, can keep the ring if you like," said Steve as he was by the door.

Maria looked at him, her eyes wide as she tried to see over the tears. "Steve… Don't do this."

"It's for the best, Maria," said Steve. "I hope you can understand that one day."

As a last try to not lose Steve completely; she cried out one last question; "We can still be friends, right?"

He stared at her for a while after she had asked this, seeming to contemplate whether that would be a good choice or not before he nodded his head, much to Maria's relief. "Of course. We're still teammates after all."

As he exited the bedroom, Maria fell down on the bed. She didn't cry - apart from the tears that were streaming down her cheeks, she wasn't sobbing – but just stayed on the bed, her head resting on the pillow and her eyes staring up at the ceiling. Her heart hadn't quite understood it yet; that Steve had just broken their relationship in two, as it had been such a calm break-up. No raised voices. No insults thrown at the other. Just calm words and Maria's ineffective tries to persuade Steve to think differently. A part of her even thought it was just a bad dream, or a continuation of Wanda's hallucinations. Though it wasn't. And that hard truth hit her harder than any bullet had ever done.

She made her way to the bathroom the moment her heart started to ache and her body turned numb. Whatever dinner she had eaten ended up in the toilet and she leaned against said toilet as she sobbed and cried on the floor.

In a burst of rage, she grabbed the ring Steve had given her and threw it across the room; making it land in the bathtub. Though afterwards Maria crawled towards said bathtub and grabbed it again, holding it in her hands as she continued to cry.

She should've tried harder to make him feel her love for him. Maybe then he would've been able to conquer Wanda's powers quicker and this would never have happened. She would've now been asleep in his arms, smiling and beginning to feel prepared to face Ultron again. Though now, everything had gone to hell and Ultron was the last thing Maria could even begin to handle.

After two hours, Maria fell into a restless sleep from the exhaustion of heartbreak.

When Steve left the bedroom, he had thought he would've felt relieved. Relieved because Maria was now free from him and his problems. Relieved because the woman he loved more than anything else in the world now had a chance for a normal life once she decided to quit the Avengers. After all, that time was going to come whether they wanted to or not.

Though he hadn't. The moment he had stepped outside of that bedroom, it felt as though something in his mind disappeared; a lock keeping him from thinking straight. And he felt remorse.

The heartbreak he felt after what he had just done hit him so hard he had to lean against the wall to calm himself again. He wanted to turn and walk back to Maria, tell her that he hadn't meant it; that she had been right when she told him that Wanda's powers were still haunting him. Though he couldn't. Perhaps it was his pride that kept him from it, or the fact that a part of him actually still agreed with what he had said to her, either way, he didn't. And that only made him feel worse about himself.

He stayed outside on the porch the rest of the night, reliving the moment he had said those words and seeing the pained expression on Maria's face over and over again. How he could've even begun to let Wanda's powers take that much control of him, he didn't understand. The only thing he knew was that he had made the biggest mistake of his life. And that it would haunt him till the day he died.

Most painful chapter I've ever written... Sorry it's so short, but I gathered it was enough sadness for one chapter...

Inspiration: Breathe Me by Sia