Chapter Eight

I wish I had gone home like Prim had suggested earlier but I didn't want to look weak. However, I wish I had swallowed my pride now, as I sit, staring at my lunch in the noisy cafeteria. Madge, the Mayor's only daughter, sits opposite me.

I can feel the eyes of my peers on me as they walk past the table and I keep my head down, hating the attention the argument I had had with Gale this morning has to brought me. I've been hearing the whispers all day. "I knew she was a Seam slut," one girl had whispered.

"I bet it was Cray!"

"Gale deserves better," another hissed.

I would normally try to ignore the whispers, but these comments feel like a stab in the heart.

"Just ignore them," Madge speaks up, startling me.

We never speak.

When I had first shared classes with Madge, I had expected her to be a typical merchant girl. I later realised we had a lot in common; we would both rather sit in silence than speak, and we both kept our business to ourselves. Therefore, we naturally found ourselves sitting together at lunch and partnering up in class whenever we had to.

I look at her and nod, knowing that if I try to talk I will do something stupid like cry.

"They would never say these things to your face," she adds, her voice gentle.

I'm not so sure about that. Some merchants would, I know that for sure. I take a quick glance at the tables surrounding mine and I shrink in my seat when my eyes meet those of a familiar blond hair, blue-eyed baker.

I wonder what Peeta thinks about all of this. He's in some of my classes, and I've noticed him looking at me a few times. I want to yell at him. People will be suspicious if they find him looking at me. Does he want everyone to find out that it was him that I had 'had fun' with the night of the reaping?

I look back at Madge and I feel my face heat up as I realise she had followed gaze to Peeta. Her eyes narrow as she looks at me, but she doesn't say a word. I take a bite out of the sandwich my mother had made me.

"I don't know why people are making such a big deal about this," Madge says.

I shrug my shoulders, not knowing what to say.

"I'm sure they'll forget about it by tomorrow," she reassures me.

"I don't think so. I just hope no one bothers Prim about all of this," I say with a loud sigh.

"Everyone knows that you'll go crazy if they bother Prim. I think they just want a reaction out of you."

"Well, I'm not going to give them one," I insist, and Madge smiles before frowning at something or someone behind me. I turn around to see what she's looking at, and find Prim surrounded by older kids. Her face is red and I can see the tears in her eyes from here.

I bang my fists against the table and jump to my feet. I grab my bag, abandoning my lunch, and head towards Prim. The room seems to fall into silence and more eyes turn my way as I carry on towards my sister. I silently remind myself of what I had said to Madge just a minute ago.

Don't get angry, I tell myself. Don't give people what they want.

I reach my sister and put a hand on her shoulder.

"Let's go eat outside," I say, glaring at the crowd surrounding her.

Prim doesn't move.

"Prim, come on."

"No," she snaps. I've never heard her sound so angry. She turns to me. "You're just going to let them talk about you like this?"

"I don't care what they have to say," I whisper.

"Well, I do. They think you sold yourself to Cray!"

"We both know that didn't happen. Now, let's leave," I say, my voice firm.

I feel sick.

I hear a voice call out, "If it wasn't Cray then who was it?"

"That's nobodies business," I snap.

"He couldn't have been good if you're all defensive about it," a girl chuckles. I feel my face heat up.

Something stirs in my stomach.

"You'll never know. You see, he's not the type to go for easy girls like you," I find myself saying.

I take hold of Prim's hand and quickly lead her from the cafeteria. I look down at her as we walk and notice the small smile gracing her lips.

"What is it?" I ask.

"They're speechless. They weren't expecting that answer," she says and I find myself smirking. "Was he in there?"

"Excuse me?" I ask, confused.

"The boy. Was he in there?"

The smile falls from my lips.

"Oh. Um-"

"That's a yes. Why didn't he stick up for you?" Prim asks, annoyance evident in her voice.

"Prim."

"I thought you said he was a good guy," my sister says.

Someone clears their throat from behind us and I turn around. My eyes widen at who stands before us, but I recover from my shock. I cough and quickly clear my throat.

"What?" I ask him.

"I wouldn't go out that way," Peeta says, tipping his head towards the door that leads into the yard.

"Why not?" I frown.

"Because Capitol reporters have been waiting out there for you all day," he replies.

"I haven't seen any. Besides, I think I can handle a few reporters," I snap, opening the door.

"There she is!" a man with blue lips and cat whiskers yells. A large crowd of pink and purple hair and red and yellow skin jumps into view, cameras and microphones in their hands.

Maybe I was wrong. I don't think I'd be able to handle that many people. There has to be at least thirty people there, each throwing questions at me. I quickly close the door and step back.

"I'm going to kill Gale," I mutter.

"I don't think Gale would call the reporters in," Prim replies.

"It was probably someone from town," I snap. I glance at Peeta, remembering that he lives in the merchant side of town. "Sorry."

"No, you're right. It probably was somebody from town," he says. We stare at each other for a minute. That night flashes in my head. I look away only to meet Prim's suspicious eyes.

"Prim, they don't want to talk to you. It's me they want. I'm going to go home. Lunch will be over soon. Go find Rory and eat the rest of your lunch with him. Make sure you don't walk home alone," I order.

"But you can't face them alone. They'll follow you," she objects.

"I'll be fine."

"You won't. You hate anyone from the…" she trails off. Capitol, is the word she missed out. "You'll get in trouble if you lose your temper and say something."

"I'll keep my mouth shut," I reply.

"But you won't," Prim insists.

"I'll go with her," Peeta speaks up.

"No," I nearly yell. I clear my throat. "They'll assume things."

I don't want to be alone with him.

"I don't care," Peeta says.

"That's a great idea," Prim replies.

"No," I say.

"Yes," Prim answers, glaring at me.

"Peeta's family won't be happy if he skips school," I snap.

"My dad won't mind and my mother is staying with her great-aunt for a few days, anyway," Peeta explains.

I stare at him again, trying to think of another reason as to why he shouldn't walk me home.

"See? He doesn't care. Leave from the back exit so they won't see you," Prim says, pushing me towards Peeta.

I open and close my mouth and manage to stutter out, "I-I'll just stay until the end of school."

"They'll still be waiting for you," Prim insists.

"Fine," I give in. "Come straight home after school."

"I will," she says, before walking off down the corridor.

Peeta clears his throat. "Shall we go?"

I nod and start walking through the many corridors to the back entrance of the school. I can hear Peeta's loud footsteps behind me. He would be a terrible hunter. He would scare all the game away.

We reach the back door and I push it open, peaking out to see if there are any reporters waiting. There's nobody in sight. I release a sigh of relief and step outside. Peeta and I are going to have to climb over the large fence that surrounds the school. From there, we will have to walk a little while before we get to the meadow and then walk to the Seam.

The meadow.

Oh.

I shake my head, trying to forget my thoughts, and start walking through the long grass to the metal fence that stands about about forty yards away. I turn to Peeta.

"Can you climb?"

He nods. "Can you?" he asks, a small smile on his face. Is he actually teasing me?

"I practically live up a tree," I reply and he chuckles. It's the first time I have ever heard him laugh and I can't help but think it is a nice, gentle sound. We reach the fence and I try to determine how I will reach the top.

"I'll lift you," Peeta says, noticing me eyeing the fence.

"I'm sure I can manage," I snap.

He sighs. "Are you going to be like this around me forever?"

"Like what?"

"Like this. You look away every time our eyes meet and now you are snapping at me when I am just trying to help. It's not wrong to ask for a little help, you know?" he says. Something tells me he's not talking about helping me climb a fence. I freeze on the spot. He remembers that day with the bread.

"I know," I whisper, not saying anything else. The fence is a metre taller than I am and when I lift my arms to reach the top, I am a long way off.

"Come here," Peeta instructs. I do as he says, just wanting to get home now. He puts his arms around my legs and I can't help but be glad that I am facing the fence so he can't see the blush on my cheeks. He lifts me up like I weigh nothing and I place my hands at the top of the fence. He slowly lets go of my legs and I keep a tight grip on the fence.

"Pull yourself up." Again, I do as he says and, before I know it, I'm sitting right at the top.

I look down at him, frowning. "How are you going to get up?"

"Easy," he says, and jumps, wrapping his hands around the top of the fence. He pulls himself up with ease. "I carry a bags of flour at the bakery," he adds, explaining his strength before I ask.

"Oh. Anyway, you don't have to come with me. We're out of school now, they won't see m-" I am cut off by a loud yell coming from behind us.

"There! There she is!"

Both Peeta and I look behind us to find the large camera crew, staring and pointing in our direction.

They start towards us and my eyes widen. "Do they ever give up?" I ask, before jumping to the ground. Peeta does the same.

"Not if it has anything to do with Gale. He's a victor. Everyone wants to know everything about him - and they especially want to know the girl he is in love with," Peeta says.

I swallow hard as I look at him. "You saw the broadcast?"

"Yes. I also saw the fight you had this morning. I'm guessing he doesn't know it was me, right? I'm sure if he knew then I'd have an arrow in my head," Peeta says.

"Nobody knows," I tell him as we jog through the lanes that lead to the meadow. The meadow is a sea of long, green grass. It's probably the prettiest part of District 12. As we walk through the meadow, I avoid the spot we had occupied that night.

"We need to talk about it," Peeta speaks up after a short while of silence.

"Do we? I don't think we do."

"Well, I think we do," Peeta shoots back.

"There is nothing to talk about," I mumble, coming to a stop.

"But there is. We had never even talked before that night. I don't want it to seem like it was my plan to take advantage of you. I didn't know anything about you and then we ended up…" he trails off.

"You didn't take advantage of me. You didn't know I was going to be there. It happened. It was stupid. It was a mistake," I snap, glaring at Peeta. Hurt flashes in his bright, blue eyes and he looks away from me.

"What did you think would happen, Peeta? If your mother found out you'd get punished. If your friends found out you had slept with a Seam slut they wouldn't speak to you. We are from completely different worlds. We would never be able to be together, even if we wanted to. What happened was an 'in the moment' thing. I was upset about Gale. You were upset about Delly. It took our mind off things for a while and now we can go back to pretending the other doesn't exist."

"That's easier said than done," he mutters. I start walking again.

"It would be easier if you wouldn't look at me in class all the time and if you would stop helping me. I don't need charity."

"I never said you did. You are capable of looking after your family yourself but you shouldn't have to do that now. You are sixteen. You shouldn't have to make sure there's food on the table. You should have fun!"

"I don't know what fun is anymore," I mumble.

"Then let me show you," he says.

"You've done that once already," I reply, without thinking. And look where that got me.

His face grows red. "Well, at least you had fun, right? But, anyway, I didn't mean it like that. You should be able to go out with your friends. Let me be your friend."

"No."

"Why?"

Because every time I look at you I think about my baby, our baby, and I don't think I'll be able to survive if I keep thinking about it.

"Because I want to forget."

We stand, staring at each other, my eyes not leaving his. I can hear the loud voices of the Capitol reporters heading this way.

"I need to go," I whisper, my eyes dropping to the floor. I turn on my heel and walk as fast as I can, trying to put as much distance between myself and Peeta Mellark as possible. I look back once I reach the edge of the meadow to see if Peeta is following.

He isn't.

Instead he is crouched down between the long strands of grass, plucking something from the soil. My breath gets caught in my throat as soon as I realise what it is he is holding.

A dandelion.