Episode 2: Cursed
"I'll bring whatever you forgot," Warren said, checking the back of the yellow jeep for the fourth time.
Kate placed herself between him and the pile of luggage. "I haven't forgotten anything," she insisted. She couldn't help but smile at his concern for her. "Stop worrying, Warren. Use the time you might have spent worrying about me on calling your dad. He'll eventually learn I'm moving out."
He sighed and shook his head. He wasn't going to call.
"Just figure out a few options," she suggested. His fear was of the deep rooted family kind, one that hurt her to push. "You're an adult, Warren. We both are. I'll call mine first…?"
"No!" he said quickly, then relaxed again, sheepish. "No, Katie, I… I'll talk to him." He smiled, but it was half-empty. "I promise."
She knew he would, but she just didn't know when it would actually happen. Shortly after that she climbed into her jeep and drove off the Worthington Estate and onto the main road.
Kate felt the effects instantly and her grip on the wheel tightened. She felt Warren's cautious, confused love dissipate into the air and distance between them. She clung to even the last wisps of loathing from Anna, suspicion from Kurt, and the sweet unconditional kindness of Piotr. They all slowly dried up.
All the while Kate's heart beat faster and she fumbled for her purse. She'd forgotten the tremors. Her vision blurred, but she couldn't stop the car. "Only a few miles," she told herself.
No one was around. No one. Kate's own hell where, like a desert, there wasn't a breath of fresh air or a dribble of water.
When she lost even the trace of a hiker a half mile from the road, her heart seized with an irregular beat.
She winced and grabbed for the vials in her purse. It had been months since it had been this bad. She had prepared herself, but she could hardly grip the vial.
Finally she closed her trembling fingers around the glass and twisted the cap to expose the vent holes. Kate almost pressed it to her nose as she took a deep breath of it.
Her trembling quieted slightly, her vision straightened, and she took another deep breath.
The vial was of an unassuming pharmaceutical green glass, the kind used in the Worthington Laboratory. Inside was no inhaled drug, no strange medicine, but naturally distilled human pheromones.
Kate inhaled deeply before closing the cap and setting the bottle aside. She wouldn't let it so far out of reach again in the car.
Just to be safe, she turned the radio on and scanned channels for the perkiest song playing. It had been months since she'd been out of contact of people. She only had a 10 minute drive ahead of her to her dream job and a huge collection of company, but the last time she took this drive, she'd had Warren right next to her.
Kate tried to focus on the opportunity she was driving to instead of the painful, panicky constriction she felt in every muscle. Just a few miles and she'd be where she could help more mutant children than she'd ever seen collected in one place. She imagined the challenges they may have had to face.
That morning she had risen early to get ready. She looked at Warren asleep next to her and hoped what they'd talked about the night before would actually work. That he still shared the bed with her that night was surprising, but welcome. She couldn't imagine attempting the lonely drive without it.
He woke while she was doing her make-up.
She looked up to the mirror and saw him there. It killed her willpower when he smiled at her for all the world like a real angel, his massive white wings tucked at his shoulders.
"A little nervous, Katie?" He asked. He held up his trembling hand, showing her that her nerves had overflowed to him.
She blushed and sighed. "Yeah, sorry."
"You'll do fine," he said, coming into the bathroom with her. "Seriously, you're made for this!"
She shot him a scolding look.
"Okay, you're practically made for this."
She knew he didn't understand why this bothered her so badly. Maybe it was his confidence in the idea, or the security he felt in it that frustrated her. "I can still screw this up," she tried to explain, applying her mascara. "A grad student actually getting a position like this is ridiculous." She capped the tube and looked at herself in the mirror. "I feel like I've cheated…" She looked at her reflection and it read young, scared, and trying-too-hard.
"You haven't cheated!" Warren told her, exasperated. He put his hands on her shoulders and she felt his confidence go through her like a shock of warm water. "You're intelligent, passionate, and talented."
She raised an eyebrow skeptically.
"And you're needed, so don't feel like they made this position just for you." He smiled. "Okay?"
He was trying, and she had to give him credit for that. Kate smiled a little. "Okay, fine…"
"Besides, I'll be right behind you." He reached up to brush a lock of hair behind her ear, but Kate caught his hand.
"Warren…"
He was embarrassed, sheepish, and a bit disappointed, but Kate couldn't tell if the disappointment was in himself or in general. All she could feel was spikes of negative emotion that went high and then were copied by spikes of shame. "Sorry…" he said. "Habit, I guess. Can't blame a guy, right?"
She couldn't blame him, she decided, as she drove later that morning. How he still had feelings for her after everything she did to him was beyond her. Three months of living together was habit-forming, though. His habits, however, were nothing to be ashamed of, unlike hers.
Kate took another whiff of the pheromones as she drove. Stale stuff. It had none of the roundness or the constant dynamics of real emotion. She didn't tremble or reel, but inside she still felt hollow and hooked up to a vacuum-sealer on high. At any moment she worried her skin would quit screaming over her muscles and just implode already.
She turned the music higher and tried to sing along. Reluctant lungs made it hard, but it helped a little.
The countryside of Westchester County passed by in a tranquil, late-summer blur. This was the land of old money and sprawling estates, private wooded hills and sculpted gardens. If people weren't so sparse, Kate would have taken her time to enjoy the cool air and pleasant breeze. Instead, her yellow jeep left the highway speed limit behind.
She finally felt the little flickers of several emotional currents in the area as she neared the first gate. There were people within two miles now. Kate took in the ripples they made and could breathe easier. Her pulse quieted and her lungs filled easier. She checked the post-it she'd left on the dashboard and used a keypad to open the sliding gate.
From there, she followed a well-worn dirt road through some thick forest growth. It was so quiet she might have felt more discomfort, but she listened to suspicion. Suspicion, when it surfaced, felt like a sour ball in the back of her chest that vibrated at different intensities. "I'll take what I can get," she mumbled to herself, closing the vial of pheromone securely and slipping it back into her purse.
She approached another gate, this one of wrought-iron set in a thick, stately brick wall. By then she could take deep breaths and her heart rate was returning to normal. She looked around and leaned out to buzz the intercom.
It came online with a crackle. "Name?"
Just a voice in real time, communicating it's immense variance of emotion in one syllable, was enough to fill her out. "Oh! Yes, hi! Kate Farnsworth. I should be on the list…"
There was silence for a moment then the gate opened. She made sure to buzz in a "thank you" before driving through.
She drove up a curved gravel drive and took in the amazing house, smiling. It looked like a cross between a cottage and a castle; a beautiful three-storey mansion. The symmetrical wings stretched to either side of a proud central porch and massive double doors.
She parked out front and got out. The air was sweet with the rippling, emotional currents of at least thirty different people on the property. It wasn't at capacity, but it was irresistible to her. She wasn't sure it was allowed, but she climbed the cut stone steps and let herself in.
Within the handsome foyer, Kate stood under the classy chandelier and took a deep breath. A smile spread wide over her face and she closed her eyes, even though the colors were warm and vibrant. With her eyes closed, she could see emotions like colors and textures wash over her and through her. She felt full, satisfied and her energy rose up until she felt like singing. Throughout her body, she could taste and feel the years of its habitation, the residents and the mission of the place. Here were years of safety, sanctuary, security, and… sorrow. She blinked her eyes open at the quiet roll of wheels on the fine wood floors.
"Kaitlyn."
She smiled. "Charles!"
Professor Xavier wheeled his chair to meet her, chuckling. "If you'll forgive me a little indignation, Kaitlyn, it's about time I got you here!" He held his arms open.
She paused. "Is it really allowed? I mean, would it be professional to" –
"Kaitlyn, this is my institution." He smiled, raising an eyebrow. "I decide who is allowed to hug and when."
She felt his voice in her mind immediately after.
"You could use a friendly touch, Kaitlyn. I'm more than willing."
She quickly embraced him and felt the last corners of her body relax out of the tension from the drive. A balanced emotion like his, positive, uplifting, and bracing, made her mind clearer, and her muscles feel warm and loose. She released him, smiling. "You really are glad I'm here?"
He sat back in his chair, hands folded and elbows on the arm rests. "Of course! I've been trying to get you here for ten years." He smiled as he looked her over. "How are your powers coming?"
"Great!" Kate felt light on her feet, loose in her limbs, and energized enough that she wanted to shout, but she quelled it carefully. "Sorry. Really well, actually. I've worked up to nearly eight hours without needing a touch. And I drove here all by myself!"
Charles gestured for her to follow down a high ceilinged corridor to the right of the stairs. "Go on."
She followed, walking next to him. "Oh, I also have some medical remedies. The TV and radio help in a pinch."
"But they don't quite satisfy, do they?" He paused at a door and looked up at her kindly. "I'm glad you've been working at it. Now, how would you like to see your office?"
She followed Charles through the door. "I get an office?"
Charles chuckled. "Yes, but this is my office." He crossed the soft rug and stopped behind his desk, rifling through papers.
Kate looked around, tracing her fingers over the edges of an elegant chalkboard. "So you teach too?"
"Yes, though the public schools do the real teaching. We mostly tutor." He chuckled. "I have the privilege of tutoring physics and philosophy… It's the beauty of being the boss. I can teach what I like." He took a file out and set it on his desk before leaning his elbows on his arm rests. "So, Kate. I'm glad you finally stopped trying to fight yourself."
Kate's face burned and she looked down. "After the first two hours of trying to resist on my own it was pretty clear abstinence wasn't the answer. I've done my best to keep as independent as possible and… not hurt anyone."
Charles came back from behind his desk, the file on his lap. "Follow me, Kate."
She did as he led her to a door on the right of his desk. It opened to another office, a smaller space with a window into the back gardens just like the one in his. There were several bookcases that were empty, a fine desk, file cabinets, and a comfortable-looking couch against the wall near a door that obviously led to the main hallway.
"This is your office," the professor said, turning to her.
Kate's eyes lit up. There was a lot of potential here, but before she could open her mouth to thank him, Charles spoke again.
"Kaitlyn, I'm very impressed with how far you've come. You're an intelligent and talented psychologist and you've been very inventive and compassionate in dealing with your challenges." He folded his hands in his lap. "Here I've always worked to help the children in my care do just what you have done. They have regular medical tests, guidance, and instruction on how to develop and use their powers constructively. I also want this place to teach our kind to reach their full potential."
"Don't worry, Professor," Kate said quickly. "I won't give up, you'll see. Before long, I'll have control of it."
He tried to interject, but she just couldn't let him worry about her.
"I'm strong enough to work this out," she said, smiling. "Really. Just being here is doing me good. Since this is the kind of place I've been studying to work in, I'll never be in a position like the last" – she stopped. "Well, I'll never hurt someone else like I did Warren. I can't let that happen."
Charles shook his head. "Kate, you need people, and you don't have to hurt them. You need what they give you." He caught and held her eyes so she couldn't disconnect from his seriousness and concern. "Come with me please."
"But"- Before she could argue, he started to leave the office.
"Come."
She followed him out, feeling partly that she'd been taken to the principal's office and told off. His profile suddenly took on an agitated tremor and she wanted to ask what frustrated him, but as soon as they stepped out they almost ran into warren and the three kids. "Oh!" She felt the mixed reactions hit her from each different direction, a hurricane of feelings extended in her direction and most of them unpleasant enough to make her nauseous.
"What're you doin' here?!" Anna snapped, feeling violated just seeing Kate in the mutant school.
Warren was happy to see Kate, but he frowned at Anna. "Anna, stop that."
Piotr and Kurt stared, dumbfounded, but Kurt quickly showed his dislike of her with a wave of noxious black anger mirroring Anna's.
"She ain't one of us!" Anna retorted. "You ain't one of us," she repeated to Kate, standing between kate, standing between Kate and the other two.
Charles' voice came into Kate's mind as she reeled from the head-spinning mix of needling resentment. "Be honest, now, Kate. You cannot be ashamed of what you are. Tell them."
The prospect terrified her, but with his mental push, it came out. "But I am…" her voice was small and strained, and in their temporary silence she repeated it, trembling. "I am one of you. That's why I'm here…"
Warren's pride in her helped keep her knees from buckling. It was like a solid rock to focus on in the middle of her emotions being as erratic and negative as the others'. The three kids were shocked, but Anna recovered first, her fury hotter than before. "You- you lied!"
"Anna," Charles cautioned.
"No!" she shouted over him. "You don't know what it is to be mutant, liar!" Her voice was a hiss and she gave off anger in sickening waves so hard that Kate felt it touch her center so Kate wanted to hate herself, or Anna.
With that, she stormed off, ignoring the efforts of Kurt to stop her. He was bewildered, but his anger was diminished. He was even embarrassed. "I am sorry for my sister, Frau Kate… Please excuse me." He met her eyes once before following Anna. Kate felt guilt from the look and wished she could have told him it was alright, but he left too fast.
"I'm proud of you, Kate," Charles told her mentally.
"So you are a mutant too?" Piotr said, wearing a huge relieved grin. He took her hand in both of his. "This is most wonderful news! I am allowed to like you now!" He gave off a bright, warm flow of sincere relief and pleasure up her arm and straight into her chest to radiate out.
Warren chuckled.
Kate giggled at his innocent excitement, and from the comfort his glow brought her. "I'm so glad, Piotr. I could use friends here."
Charles smiled a little. "You are allowed to like anyone, Piotr. Don't be pressured to dislike humans." He looked at Warren. "I think you should speak to Kurt."
Warren sighed. "I think you're right." He smiled at Kate, proud of her, before he left Piotr there with them.
"Reactions like Anna's, unfortunately, are exactly why your jurisdiction will be the elementary class for now, Kate."
Kate turned to him in dismay. "What? But I thought" –
"Yes, Kate, you are the school counselor, but students here have very sensitive histories. I'm afraid your powers are not honed enough yet to address the majority of our students."
Kate's heart sank. "My powers…? But that has nothing to do with my" –
"Kaitlyn, I want you to grow from this experience. It's not a punishment. Please don't think of it that way."
"Then what is it?"
Piotr looked on in concern. "Can I help?"
Charles smiled up at the tall young man. "No, Piotr, don't worry. Go on and unpack."
Piotr looked at Kate as if for confirmation. The boy was a wonderful mirror, a natural sympathizer, and Kate felt his emotions matching her own which, in her conscience, was probably not the best thing for him. The sweet boy was worried.
She forced a smiled. "Go on, Piotr. I'll be alright."
He nodded and left up the stairs, much quieter than Anna had.
"I want you to grow into your potential, Kate, and I see a lot of potential in you," Charles smiled kindly. "I'm very excited to see how you grow into your position. You'll be the keeper of the files and do some secretarial work until you have regular work with our students. However, before you settle in and I give you the basic tour, I need you to sign these." He handed her the file from his office and a pen.
She took it and scanned the papers. "What are they?"
Charles smiled and she felt an odd flush of pride from him. "A privacy contract, my dear. A necessary prerequisite for any position here at the Institute."
"Oh," she replied, signing. "I can see that. We wouldn't want anyone to blab about the children."
"Among other things…" Charles added quietly.
Kate had just finished signing the final dotted line when a woman arrived from the foyer. She was 20, maybe 21, but she struck Kate as mature for her age. She had long, shiny red hair, was very pretty, but she was unhappy and her emotions were plunging below normal, troubled and almost dark from sadness over something.
"Sorry, Professor," she said. It was like a cloud hung over her. "The news just broke."
Charles sighed. "Well, at least we knew this one was coming."
Kate looked from one to the other. "What happened?"
Charles gestured to the woman. "Kaitlyn, this is Jean Grey."
Kate nodded to her, not feeling this was the time for really making an acquaintance.
The woman nodded back, but her attention was clearly not on Kate. She looked at Charles, her eyes low and resigned. "Three of our students snuck out to the mall last night."
Kate's heart clutched. "What? With all of the riots and protests going on?"
"Yes," Charles said, sadly. "And they were attacked in the parking lot of the theater."
"The men who attacked them haven't been identified," Jean said, "but some of them went ahead and told the newspaper and channel 12 that they were attacked by a mutant and his friends… The anti-mutant feeling is at an all-time high."
Kate nodded uncomfortably. "I can feel that." How could she put a word to that? It was oppressive and stifling, and flowed underneath everything, only souring her palate when there were no other people close enough to override it.
"We'll make an announcement to the children already here," Charles said. "It might be wise to postpone the adoption of more students into the area for the time being."
Jean showed textbook disappointment, a spike in frustration and a plunge of confidence. "Professor…"
"We have no choice. As a safe haven, we have to be able to guarantee that safety or we cannot bring them in." Charles looked up at Kate and smiled a little, the bitterness of his own disappointment clear to her. "There's a small taste of how it is in these times, Kaitlyn. I recommend you dedicate some time to absorbing what you can from the files you now have in your custody."
Kate had no trouble matching their sorrow at the strained situation in quiet little Bayville. "I'll do my best."
Late that next morning, Kate replied to a knock on her new office door with a cheery, "Come in!" As the door opened, Kate looked up and recognized Ororo Munroe from her staff file and she was excited to have a staff visitor.
Mrs. Munroe came in and offered her elegant hand with a friendly smile. "Hello. I am Ororo," she said. "I hoped to meet you yesterday, but there were quite a few things to take care of…"
Kate took her hand. "Call me Kate, please. Was it anything to do with what was on the news?" she asked, hoping to show she knew what was going on around the school.
She nodded, elegant even in discomfort. "Yes… But it's handled now and I hoped to speak to you and thank you for embracing your new position." She smiled a little sheepishly. "We have something to talk about."
Kate smiled. "I'm here to talk, honestly. I just made some coffee. Would you like some?"
Ororo nodded and came in, letting the door close behind her. "I would, thank you." She looked around and Kate poured coffee into two of her brightly painted mugs.
Kate could feel her reactions to the office as she took in all the decorating Kate did overnight. "Have a seat. Make yourself comfortable." She brought the mugs over and sat next to her, smiling. "Do you like it?"
Ororo took her seat and looked around. "It's certainly quite different. Are those toys?" she asked, pointing to a corner.
Kate grinned. "Sure are!" It was a pleasure to feel her surprise and curiosity. Around Kate, since she was so new, there weren't a lot of extraverted emotions like those. Most were self-conscious or distanced.
The office was almost completely unpacked, a chore she had focused on as soon as she could and stuck to it late into the night. She made sure the space was at least scattered with positive things so it could be a sanctuary of sorts. Ororo's eyes had been drawn to a corner to the left of her desk that appeared to overflow with stuffed animals and soft toys.
Kate's guest smiled at the comfortable couch, chairs, and coffee table that were the real focus of the room. The desk and files were beyond the more comfortable space, tucked out of the way but still functional and lit by the windows.
"How did you get so much accomplished since yesterday?" she asked Kate. "There are many things here that were not from your small jeep."
Kate smiled bashfully. "I'm a dreamer, I suppose. I couldn't wait to put this place together just as I pictured my office would be when I got a position like this."
Ororo took a closer look at her and Kate tried to smile her best. "Kate, did you sleep last night?"
"Not well, I'm afraid. Still adjusting to the sounds around here at night, I guess. And don't worry; I didn't bring all of this in myself. Piotr was good enough to lend a pair of very strong hands." Kate knew Ororo still worried. Her attention was still on Kate and her emotions were slowly attempting sync with Kate's sympathetically. Kate feared it was too obvious she hadn't slept at all.
Thankfully Ororo picked up on her discomfort and changed the subject. "I have come, first of all, to offer you a welcome from the staff. I do not think we have ever had someone come to the Institute from outside specifically to work here. Most of us have been here for a year or two as students and simply stayed on to teach. So if you feel any hostility, please do not take it personally… We are just not at all used to outsiders."
Kate could feel her sincerity and she sipped her coffee. "I've picked up on that. It's only my second day, so I'm sure there will be adjustment on both sides."
"You will fit in, soon, I am sure." Ororo patted Kate's hand and the feeling was reassuring and warm. "Now, I have also come over another matter… one a little more personal."
"Oh?" Kate doubted there was a reason for someone so stable to come to her for herself. This woman felt like an ocean of emotional balance and control.
She smiled with mixed pride and self-consciousness. "You had the chance to meet my son yesterday when you had the elementary school visit your office. Azari."
Kate laughed. "Oh! Yes! He's yours?"
Ororo smiled. "Yes, and I believe he is on your list of children to work with. I want you to know he is very excited to see how is … flower turned out?"
"Yes, of course! His is very interesting." Kate smiled and showed her a lineup of white daisies in different vases with colored water. "His is on the end. The brown one. He wanted to see what all of the colors together looked like."
She looked at the set of tall vases and at the flowers. The centers of the petals were taking on little veins of their respective colored waters. "So what is this for? An experiment?"
"Sort of," Kate said. "I used it to explain how my powers work… See, I told the kids I'm an empath. I need emotions the same way that flowers need water. So if there's something happy, I soak it up and am happy, like the flower turns bright yellow." Kate smiled and pointed to a flower with yellow coloring in the vase.
"Fascinating," Ororo said, smiling. "What a unique gift. I have never met an empath. Is it a kind of psychic power?"
"Sort of," Kate said, "but I try not to use it if I can help it. Is there anything you can tell me about Azari that might help me when I start talking to him?" Kate was eager to change the subject away from herself and her powers, and thankfully the mention of her son was enough to focus her attention on that. "I read Azari's file and there are some unfortunate notes from his elementary school teachers…"
"Please do not let their comments overshadow him. Azari's a good boy, really." She glowed with maternal love, a warm and beautiful blend of pride and unconditional receptiveness, and Kate was happy to absorb what she could from it. "Azari's power is not doing him any real favors. We have spoken to Dr. McCoy about his energy, but" – She paused as Kate handed her the cup. "Have you spoken to him? Dr. McCoy, I mean?"
"I haven't met him, though I'd love to. I'm a big fan of his work. What did he have to say about Azari?"
"Not much that could help him at school… Since the children have to go with the human children, I cannot tell the administration my son does not have an attention disorder. Telling them he needs to expend energy every hour would require an explanation… and I cannot tell them he is literally creating electricity."
Kate felt her frustration and helplessness and she took on some of it, and bounced it back to her in order to it sympathetically. "Of course not. That's a very hard position to be in."
"I simply worry he may grow to be as rebellious as they say he is."
Kate smiled. "Don't worry. I'd like to help, and it's a common fear. I'll talk to him today and I'll see what we can do to help him."
She could sense the mother's hesitation to completely trust her. Ororo's emotional profile would grow active then suppress itself when she noticed Kate's sympathy. Kate was sincere, but she never did expect anyone to greet her with complete commitment.
"Thank you," Ororo replied. She set her cup down and smiled with regret. "I really should get going. Thank you for the coffee."
Kate stood with her. "My pleasure."
"If you have any trouble with Azari," she said, standing at the door, "if he is obstinate, resistant, anything… feel free to call me or my husband."
She smiled. "I'll keep that in mind, but I wouldn't worry." She bid farewell to Mrs. Monroe and rubbed her eyes. "Stay awake, Kate," she muttered, finishing off both her and her guest's coffee.
She hated nights generally, but it was pure hell trying to get through a night sleeping alone and in a strange bed. She ended up not sleeping at all that first night, but instead she unpacked the boxes Piotr had helped her bring into her office.
Before she could pick up her pen to continue her paperwork, she changed her mind and collected her coat on her way out the door.
Kate walked to the back foyer and out onto a long stone portico. She could hear voices and feel children out in the manicured grounds, and it filled her through her nerves to the ends.
A small smile spread on her face at the chill in the air. She took a deep breath. Westchester was really breathtaking in August. The gardens practically glowed with vibrant, new fall colors, and the reflecting pool had early red and gold leaves floating on it like little boats. As she drew her coat closer around her against the morning chill, she watched Azari Monroe chase a small rust-colored dog into view. As they circled a tree, both with seemingly boundless energy, Kate was amazed to see the dog suddenly shift smoothly into a laughing rust-haired little girl, racing across the yard without missing a step.
As they raced out of view, Kate smiled to herself. What a place. She walked down the steps and around stone urns filled with crisp-leaved vines. She worked with mutant children since she finished her undergraduate degree in psychology, but none of the children she met were as powerful or emotionally stable as those at XI.
She guessed it was the environment here. Everywhere there was a sincere feeling of care and protection toward the members of the small community. There were low, constant levels of sympathy, receptiveness, and familiarity which were plenty to overcome the sour notes of the immediate town's discord with mutants. However, as she passed where a few of the children were playing, she felt the other side of that environment; suspicion of strangers. The children paused in their game and watched her, a couple of them backing off to keep a distance between them and her.
She flashed them a smiled and continued on. She really couldn't blame them. The news made sure everyone was aware of the public opinion about mutants. First there was the fire at the high school, then the attacks at the mall. At least there wasn't any footage of that, but the damage was done.
Kate heard the rhythm and chatter of a basketball game ahead and as she rounded a bend in the gravel path, she saw three young men at play.
From her long night studying the student files, she was able to recognize the boys as Robert "Bobby" Drake, Alex Summers, and John Allerdyce. Many times, Kate saw mutant children unhealthy whether they were malnourished, or allowed to go to seed with junk food by parents just hoping to make it easy.
These boys, like everyone else she'd met at the Institute, were in peak physical condition. There were few things that pleased her more than to see young people given everything they need to be healthy, happy, and strong.
"Excuse me," she said. "Could you tell me where I can find Amara?"
She felt them grow guarded as Alex, who was taller and had more gold to his hair than the other two blondes, and John, with a surprisingly powerful, incendiary emotional flavor, stood flanking Bobby. These three were close. She could tell because their emotions responded to and checked each other. Kate made a mental note of it. Bobby smirked. "What did you need to know for?"
Kate sensed he had some reason other than his own to be suspicious of her. Her best guess was he'd heard something. The early spike of curiosity gave it away. She simply smiled. "I'm the counselor the Professor hired." They recognized that and got curious; except John who glowered at her. "I need to arrange a meeting with her, but I don't know my way around quite yet. I hoped you could give me a hand?"
"Amara came around here headed to the south field," Bobby said, spinning the ball in his hands. "Some of the others were messing around out there and I think she went to watch. We haven't seen her come back, so she's probably still there."
"The south field…" Kate tried to place it mentally, but shook her head. "How would I get there?"
John smirked. "Didn't you get a map, doc?"
Alex smiled and shoved John's shoulder. "Lay off the new-bie, Pyro." He turned his very charming smile back to Kate. "Head a little ways past here on the path and hang a left at the big rock fountain. The way there is all lined with white gravel."
Kate smiled and put her hands back in her pockets against a chilling breeze. "Thank you, boys. Have fun."
Once she followed the path as Alex described, Kate easily found Amara. Several kids were playing soccer and the young Brazilian girl sat on the sidelines watching. Kate's heart ached for her as soon as she got close enough to feel the heartache and homesickness pierce her heart. It flowed like a frozen stream into her then spread painfully sad, piercing fingers out from her heart.
Kate approached Amara and smiled at her. "Hello."
She looked up and tentatively returned the smile.
Kate took a seat on the grass next to her. "I'm Ms. Kate I've been looking forward to meeting you, Amara."
"Professor Xavier said I might meet you," she replied.
She was fairly open, but shy. Her emotions were muted, but not suppressed and she was actively attempting to recognize Kate's emotion and match it. Kate was pleased to see such a normal reaction to another person. This was the first open, clean slate Kate had and she was pleased she could actually do her job. She watched the game with Amara. "This is a very interesting place, isn't it?"
"Yes," Amara replied. "But very nice, I think."
"This is my first whole day," Kate smiled. "How long have you been here?"
"A week," she said. "I have a few new friends. My roommate is really nice."
Kate grinned. "That's great! Have you heard from your parents?"
That made her smile. "Yes. They are very grateful for the school." Kate was happy to listen to the latest news about the small town in Brazil. She eagerly boosted the girl's emotional profile with curious questions about the warm climate, what grows there, and her family's life.
"It sounds like they're very supportive, Amara," Kate smiled. "It's always hard, though, coming to a new place to live."
Amara nodded. "Especially somewhere so cold!"
Kate laughed; pleased she could make a joke after her recent traumatic experiences. It was promising.
Amara looked at her again. "Are you really a mutant?"
Kate tasted suspicion like she always did. It was bitter and sat down deep in her throat. She smiled honestly, showing her struggle with freely admitting it. "Yes, I am. Believe it or not, Amara, I can be as dangerous as you can under certain circumstances."
Thankfully Amara trusted and feared that admission and Kate comfortably left the subject.
"I actually came to ask if you'd talked to anyone about what happened at the high school just before you came here."
That clammed her up. Amara's aura, her contribution to the emotional ebb and flow, went cold and still as she lowered her eyes and looked away.
Kate touched her shoulder gently. "Don't worry, Amara. It's up to you when you're comfortable talking about it… But I hope you will visit me in my office. We can talk about anything you want and I'd be very happy for the company."
Amara warmed again and some responsiveness to Kate's emotional current returned, but Kate felt it would be too much to push her toward anything now, so she simply smiled before getting up.
"I'm sure you could show them a thing or two about football in Brazil," she said with a wink. "They don't know what they're missing."
Amara blushed and Kate left with a smile.
Xavier's Institute was a small, specialized operation. There were only about fifty students all together, and within range of the mansion, she could feel all of them.
As Kate took her personal walk around the immaculate and luxurious grounds, she took a moment to appreciate the information she got from Amara. It was easy to tell when people were reacting, but not always to what or why. All Kate ever knew was the blend of emotion people were experiencing currently. If they permitted touch therapy, which she rarely recommended or risked, she could get a deeper read and even an emotional memory profile. But she was no telepath. She was at the mercy of what her subject told her. On the plus side, she could find a lie like a fluorescent light at midnight.
Kate strolled around the wide-open grounds, taking in the beautiful views. Locations had emotional traces too. Active emotion, like air, flowed everywhere and Kate just didn't have everyone else's protective shield of ignorance. In locations, the emotions of people who had visited or had lived settled in the earth or on objects of affection or attention. Here, around Xavier Institute, were feelings of trial, confidence, and fun. Security and safety tied it all together.
She drew comfort from the memories; after all it was hard to get the day-to-day profile of the Institute when people were still unsure what to make her. There was time for that, though. Plenty of time.
Kate took her tour into the mansion house. She was mostly familiar with the first floor so she took a walk around the bedrooms on the second floor to satisfy her curiosity.
She heard voices at the end of the hall and smiled when she recognized Bobby's.
"I'm totally gonna make varsity this year!"
Among a general chorus of laughter and talk, Kate heard Kurt's voice answer, "Not when you have never been on the team before, Bobby."
As she got closer to the end of the hall, she saw the corner room of the floor was an open common area.
Piotr was there and was confused. "They say I am a 'senior'. I forget that what is meaning."
A girl whose voice Kate didn't recognize giggled. "Fourth year, Piotr."
Kate paused at the door when she heard Anna, but she couldn't help smiling at the different profile coming off her. She was high above normal levels of contentment, and was receptive to the others, pleasant and friendly.
"You couldn't make varsity in anythin' but detention, Bobby boy," she laughed and enjoyed the laughter of the others.
Bobby took it with a smile. "You'll be eating your words when I'm a starter for the Baywood Beagles!"
"For their sake," Anna teased, "Ah hope you're not expectin' t'try out for basketball."
The other laughed appreciatively and the friendship was like warm, sustaining waves pulsing through Kate's chest. She decided to see what they could do to help her.
Kate knocked on the open door jamb and looked in. "Hello?" It was amazing to her to feel the emotional current suddenly scatter into a mess of conflicting currents.
Piotr positively beamed. "Hello Ms. Kate!" He started to stand, but Kate held up a hand.
"It's alright, Piotr, you don't have to get up."
Piotr happily stayed put on the soft couch. "Everyone, this is my friend, Ms." –
Anna was much less happy to see her and locked herself up behind a frown. "We all know who she is, Piotr."
Kurt hesitated a second, his blue devil tail swishing a bit as he sat atop the couch, but he worked up a small smile and met Kate's eyes briefly. "Good morning, Frau Kate…"
She returned the smile, showing she recognized the remorse she felt from him. She would have preferred to simply move on and feel receptive openness, but remorse didn't absorb into everyone the same way it did Kate. "It's a pleasure to see you, Kurt. The real you. I hope you don't mind my saying so, but you're a handsome young man." She was pleased to see the image of him that matched his picture in the files.
Kurt was surprised, but didn't have time to dwell since Bobby grinned and punched him in the arm.
The girl on the couch next to Piotr, who Kate could now see was Kitty Pryde, leaned forward eagerly. "So you're Kate!" She was a sweet-looking brunette, and she gave Kurt a playful glare and flicked his knee sharply. "You didn't do her justice at all Kurt. She dresses way cuter than you said." She sat up and smiled at Kate, curious to the point that it was obvious she heard some gossip. "Sooo… Where did you find that jacket? It's fantastic!"
Anna rolled her eyes and tucked her feet up into her chair in the corner. In a moment she had her phone open and was texting which seemed to improve her mood substantially.
Kate smiled at them hopefully. "Charles also told me I ought to spend some time with Tildie Sohmes. There are some frequent disturbances on her file… 'Complications with nightmares', it said. I was hoping you all could tell me a little more about them?"
"I saw one just before we were to leave to live at Mr. Warren's house," Piotr said, his broad shoulders slumped. "In the middle of the night, there was screaming and Kurt appeared in my room to wake me. We ran outside to see a flying beast glowing in the sky, as big as a house!"
Kate could tell he wasn't lying, but it still sounded unbelievable. "Tildie?"
"Yes. Her nightmares become real!" Piotr said. "We fought for half of an hour to defeat the monster and release her." He wrung his hands, elbows on his knees. "She was so terrified, but it was the only way to wake and release her from the monster."
Kate's eyes widened as she felt the regret coming off all of them.
"It's not that we want to scare her more," Bobby said quickly. "It's the only way we have to stop the nightmare once it takes shape. Not even Charles can stop one of Tildie's nightmare episodes unless she's distracted enough by us." He shrugged, obviously more used to the circumstances than Piotr. "A lot of times we can tell what gave her the nightmare, though, and that helps."
"We try hard to keep Tildie from being scared in the day so she doesn't have the nightmares," Kitty explained. "We use that plan for a lot of us here. I phase through the floors sometimes when I sleep, so I've learned to sleep on my side." She shrugged. "It helps a little. I can catch myself when I first feel my arm start to phase."
Kurt nodded. "For Tildie we do our best to monitor what she watches on television, on movies, and in our practices. Anything may disturb her and give her a nightmare."
Kate sat down next to Bobby on a couch facing Piotr, Kitty, and Kurt. "How does that make Tildie feel? I can see how she might struggle, hearing "no" all the time. How does she take to the special rules?"
Anna suddenly stood and shoved her phone in her pocket, blasting out noxious currents of hostility, resentment, and insult. "Special rules?! Everyone here has special rules, dammit. The world ain't no picnic for any of us, and even though XI ain't a party for us, it's a hell of a lot better than anywhere else."
Everyone watched as Anna finally tore her glare from Kate and stormed out.
Kate took a shaky breath as soon as Anna left the room. She felt like a fish plucked out of a poisoned pond and dropped into cold water, fighting to take in anything but the toxins of hate.
"I am sorry, Ms. Kate," Kurt said quietly. "My sister is just sensitive. She" –
Kate smiled gently, grateful for his sudden kind feeling. "It's alright, Kurt. I understand. I went through the files for this school year and I saw her power. I can see how my question might have offended her. Honest, I didn't mean it."
Piotr sighed. "It is hard for her to be not able to touch others."
"Unable, Piotr," Kitty said kindly.
Kate cleared her throat. "Where would the younger kids be now?"
Piotr stood up. "I will show you, Ms. Kate! Tildie will be there."
"Thank you, Piotr, I appreciate it." Kate smiled and stood. "A pleasure to meet you all." She followed Piotr out into the hall and down the main staircase, enjoying his friendly presence as they walked.
When Kate saw the elementary class the day before, they had come to her office. Now she stood in the elementary room with the six children under 12 that lived in the Institute. They were playing, studying, and helping each other. The fun made Kate feel light and cheerful, her heart speeding up gently in response to their activity level. She smiled when the teacher came to greet them. "Ms. Moonstar," Kate said, "I hope you don't mind me dropping in this way."
"Dani, please. You are more than welcome here. Charles told me you might be coming to address Azari and Tildie."
"That's my plan," Kate smiled.
She turned to the class. "Alright, everyone, you remember our friends?"
The kids all looked up and, in a broken chorus, greeted Kate and Piotr by name.
Piotr glowed with pleasure when the class of about seven children said his name. "The game you play is fun. Maybe you may teach me to play too?"
All seven immediately folded him into their games, completely thrilled to have the eighteen-year-old, mountain of a teenager playing with their toys.
Dani was thoroughly amused and smiled before turning back to Kate. "Now what can I do for you?"
"I'd just like to spend some time here observing and talking to them. It can be really hard to get a read on children when they're taken out off their routine."
Dani nodded. "I always appreciate an extra pair of hands with this crew."
Kate laughed. "I can believe that. Now, Tildie didn't come to my office yesterday did she?"
"No," Dani said, voice low. "The professor thought it would be safer if the others prepared her for meeting you later. She" –
Kate nodded. "I heard. Do new things set her off?"
"Sometimes." Dani looked at the classroom and nodded to the little seven or eight-year-old girl playing apart from the others. "That's Tildie. None of us really knows how to keep it from happening. I try to help. My power is similar, but then my dreams manifest, they usually have a purpose. Hers…" Dani shook her head.
Kate thanked her and went over to where Tildie was coloring. She was a sweet-faced girl with auburn hair. When she looked up at Kate, it showed she had a sprinkling of freckles across her cheeks.
"Tildie?" Kate looked down at her, smiling.
"Yeah?"
"I'm Ms. Kate," she said kindly. "Can I play too?"
Tildie was cautious, but she slowly nodded and made room at her little table. "'K." The little girl's aura fluctuated in an odd, damaged way, each rise of excitement dropped by rises in worry and fear.
Kate knelt down and took the crayons she was given. After a few minutes coloring and talking about the picture Tildie was coloring, Kate saw she was doing less self-regulating and the currents were smooth. "Tildie?"
"Yeah?" she was giving a princess outline blazing red hair.
"Why aren't you playing with the other kids?" Kate was catching a lot of strange emotions off of the little girl. She was at least seven, but her emotions led Kate to put her maturity level lower. In a child around 8, Kate expected to feel a growing consistency in how they chose what balance of emotions to show. Tildie felt under that age, where her balance of emotion was erratic, but clearly aware of the fact that some emotions are good and some are bad. It seemed she was mistakenly suppressing some of the good ones as well.
Tildie kept coloring as they talked, covering the background in blues. She shrugged. "They act funny to me. They treat me different."
Kate felt the hurt Tildie felt, but there was such a chill of hopelessness to it that it made her sure Tildie knew why they were all doing it. The little girl feared herself.
"You know what?"
"What?"
"People do the same thing to me, too, when they learn what I do."
Tildie gave her such a look that no skill was required to figure out she was skeptical.
"Really," Kate assured her, coloring on her picture of a puppy with polkadots. "It seems people don't always like someone knowing how they feel about everything."
Tildie seemed convinced because shortly after that, she asked, "Do people tell you some things are too scary? In case of nightmares?"
Kate had to think how to answer that simply. "Sometimes. Nights are very hard for me too, Tildie. Every night is hard. Sometimes I have nightmares, and… sometimes I can be dangerous to people. I never mean to, of course." Kate let the little girl see she was really embarrassed and frightened of it. She tried to convince herself she was faking for Tildie's sake.
"It makes me feel like a monster," Tildie said. "They all keep scary things away, but they can't keep me away… I'm the scariest thing of everything."
Kate tried to keep coloring, but she recognized that feeling too well. "I understand…"
Tildie went quiet, coloring slowly with a brown crayon.
Kate hated to see such a sweet little girl shackled by her own talent this way. After a few moments with her crayon suspended over the paper, Kate suddenly set it down and smiled warmly at Tildie. "You know what?"
Tildie looked at her in surprise, a smile growing on her face from the excitement Kate was giving off to cheer her. "What?"
"I think there are lots of fun things you can try. Tildie. Lots of fun and new things to do. You shouldn't be afraid, sweetie," Kate said, tucking a curl of her auburn hair behind her ear. "You have every right to enjoy yourself as everyone else."
Tildie's eyes got big and flickered with hope. "Really?"
"Absolutely. No one can really stop nightmares, but we can make good things to dream about, right?" Kate smiled and stood up. She offered her hand to Tildie. "What do you say we go play with the others?"
Tildie hesitated a moment, but took Kate's hand and giggled. She felt like she was breaking some rule, but one she'd always wanted to.
It took a few minutes, but Tildie was soon included in the class' activities. Although Piotr left as soon as games were done, Kate stayed to support Tildie. Some of the time the little girl even sat on Kate's lap. Kate loved every second and gently pushed her to participate in what she was interested.
Story time excited her and she sat on the rug with the others, riveted, but one little boy couldn't sit still or keep quiet. Kate instantly recognized Azari Monroe.
The dark-skinned, six-year-old firecracker kept standing and acting out what he believed the story should say. "If I saw a meanie like that, I'd punch 'em like this! And kick him all hard an' everything! Like daddy does and" –
Dani lowered the book quickly as one little girl, the shape-shifter who turned into a dog earlier, barely ducked a swing of his little fist. "Azari! Stop that right now. No one can hear what the story is about until you sit down and listen with everyone else."
Kate felt the energy in him but everyone else could too. The little boy was practically sparking between his fingers. What concerned Kate most was his frustration. He was energetic, and not meaning to do wrong but he did show healthy levels of remorse when scolded. Unfortunately that did nothing for his rising energy levels.
He tried to sit but before Dani could even lift the book again, Azari was up and grabbing a toy plane whose propeller whizzed along at the touch of his electric powers.
Dani kept glancing at Kate, clearly glad someone else was seeing this, but embarrassed at her lack of control. "Azari!" she said sharply. "Sit down, right now!"
The other children fidgeted uncomfortably while Azari ran circles around them, flying the plane with his hand. Tildie watched uncertainly and looked at Kate, squirming.
Kate stood up and caught Azari's hand. "Hey, let's go fly that outside. What do you say?"
Azari tore his hand away, dropping his toy. "I'll be good! I'll be good!" He certainly knew what being in trouble looked like. He spiked with fear and remorse, backing away.
"Come on, Azari, we'll just go outside." Kate firmly clamped a hand on his shoulder and steered him out the door.
The little boy finally stopped pulling away from her, but instead had to vent another way. "Don't take me to Mom and Dad! I can be good, promise! Promise promise!" He grabbed her hand and pulled, but she knew this was no tantrum. A tantrum child would be angry, violent, and feel a glee from others' attention.
"I'm not taking you to your parents, Azari. I told you, we're going outside."
Just walking instead of sitting was easing him a little and he watched her with childish skepticism. "Yeah? Why?"
"You'll see," she gave him a smile which confused him more, but he did follow, chattering like he couldn't be silent if he tried.
Once outside, Kate picked up a soccer ball from a shed.
"Whazzat for?" he demanded, watching her. "You're a girl. Girls don't play soccer. We don't play in class time."
"Well, we're gonna play now." Kate bounced the ball back and forth on her knees a few times before kneeing it up to catch it. She offered the ball to the shocked six-year-old. "Want to?"
Azari jumped at the chance and after a few minutes he had healthy levels of positive feelings, and reduced energy levels. She easily brought him back in for more class time. Every few minutes, she stepped in and took him to the play area where he could vent some of his abundant energy.
She met with Dani again after the very full day with the elementary.
"Azari's never gotten so much from class," she told Kate. "What did you say to him?"
"Nothing, really. He's a good and smart kid. I think his mutation translates into more energy than he can contain." Kate smiled. "I think we can figure out some things he can do to vent and keep focused. We just need to make sure it's documented for when he goes to Baywood Elementary with the others."
"Discreetly, of course?" Dani asked.
Kate nodded slowly. "Of course." She sighed. "It would be so much less difficult if mutations didn't have so many social repercussions."
Dani raised an eyebrow. "Everything would be less difficult if that were true."
That evening Kate sat in her office opposite Charles, finishing her report of what she'd accomplished that day. "And I think Azari would do much better with a five minute break between recess times."
Charles smiled, his hands folded across his lap. "It sounds like a very reasonable solution, Kate. I'm very glad you got to meet Amara, Tildie, and Azari. You've made quite the impression on them."
"Thank you, Professor," Kate beamed. To her surprise, he turned his teacher's eyebrow on her.
"And what has been your experience today, Kaitlyn?" he asked gently. "How are you feeling?"
Being asked that made her feel uncomfortable, but she knew he only meant well. "I'm happy to say I feel healthier than I have in a long time. I feel satisfied and full… well not quite full, but I think it will take some time before I'll be… 'nourished', I guess is how I would describe it."
He nodded slowly, observing the daisies on her table and the spreading color on the petals. "Yes, that would be an apt description." He looked up at her again. "I was impressed with how you handled your discussion with Tildie. You related to her, Kate."
Kate looked down, kicking herself for even considering being so guarded in front of such a powerful psychic and a man she desperately wanted to impress.
"Kate?"
She felt he wasn't disappointed in her, but she was still reluctant as she nodded. "Yes. I do relate to her a little. I can't help it, especially after what's gone on between me and Warren."
He opened his mouth to speak, but she didn't want to have to compromise on her standards and she quickly told him so.
"I'll be in control, Professor, I promise. I know I can, and all I need is a few more days." Kate desperately tried to read him for confidence in her, and she found it though not as much as she hoped.
He nodded quietly, appearing to bite his lip to refrain from giving his prepared comment. "I understand. Tonight will be hard, just as it was yesterday. I highly recommend you use this evening to unwind and connect with the other staff members." He smiled encouragingly. "You know very well how much a support system can help in building a career and a life. That's what we're all here for."
Kate relaxed a little and nodded. "I understand, Professor."
She took his advice right away and eventually found Danielle was willing to go out on the town.
Kate did enjoy herself. Bar-hopping awhile and making a few new friends made her feel better. It did her so much good to laugh and joke and be around large numbers of laughing and joking people. Exposure to a wide variety of auras and emotional currents was enough to make her feel full and satisfied. For that time she wouldn't have to think about who was where, how many people were around, and she could let her own emotions play a part.
Unfortunately she knew the merriment couldn't last. It wouldn't even keep, not even an hour after she returned to the Institute.
Kate kept company until the others started turning in for the night. She thought briefly about going to her office, but she yawned so wide her jaw ached. Checking her watch, she realized miserably that she hadn't slept in 42 hours.
"I've got to at least try," she sighed to herself and climbed the main stairs. From there she walked down a hall to another set of stairs to the third floor.
The mansion was at capacity as far as bedrooms were concerned. She knew the professor wanted to help as many troubled mutant children as possible. Many of the instructors had bedrooms at the back of the mansion on the second and third floors. Since Kate came as a new addition, her room was on the north end in the corner, a small bedroom with only one window where most rooms had two. Many of the teachers lived in suites.
Kate was told this room was occasionally used to help troubled new students adjust to good treatment, new people, and three square meals a day. If she didn't know for certain all the other rooms were full, she would have been a little uncomfortable with what that implied.
It was an hour after lights out as she walked down the dark hallway. She slowed her steps, heart racing. She saw a shadow between her and the dimly lit window, giving off a low mix of worry, love, hurt, and resignation. Her voice gave away how afraid she was. "Hello? Who's there?"
"Katie?"
Kate relaxed, but only a little. "Warren? What are you doing? You should have gone to bed by now!"
He met her at her door, his wings tucked behind him but rustling a little in the silence. "You should have too, and last night."
Kate's cheeks flushed and she frowned, not only frustrated at the comment but also mad at his concern for her. It was coming welcoming, so receptive, mirroring her with such sympathy that it was too tempting. "Where did you hear that?"
"We work for a psychic, remember?" He took a step toward her, but she took a step back so she wouldn't be more tempted to siphon him for her swiftly dropping emotion levels. He paused. "I just want to know how you're doing." He put his hands in his pockets, disappointed but still very receptive to her. "And, I guess, to congratulate you on your day." He wanted her to come to him, she knew it.
Kate swallowed hard, dying to even grab his arm and establish the connection she was used to having each night, the flow between them of every emotion from glee to despair. Instead she steeled herself and cleared her throat quietly. "Thank you, Warren. And I appreciate your concern. Honest. I'll be alright though. I'm tired enough to sleep through anything." She was glad not everyone saw lies as clearly as she could.
He looked at her carefully. "I'm not so sure it matters how tired you are."
Kate sighed, frustrated. He clearly couldn't see how she was trying to protect him, how she was trying to sever this relationship. She was tired of him bouncing back even when he was so justifiably suspicious of her. "Just let me sleep, warren," she frowned, trying to get by him to her door. He blocked her.
"Kate, you know how you are when you wake up," he said, worrying for her. "You're pale, and fumbly, and kinda frantic…"
Kate, when she couldn't get by, looked up at him, done with this and cranky. "Warren!"
"You're not well when you sleep alone!" he insisted and she had to look away, frustrated since he knew her so well. He snuck a hand to her cheek and she felt herself desperately seek his internal emotional current. "I could stay tonight? If you need it?"
She could feel his current, strong and warm, full of all of the minute emotions he felt that day and more. She wanted so bad to raise some to the surface to share… but inside she screamed at herself in reproach. She pulled herself away and tried hard not to look at him. "No. I'll be fine, Warren. Don't worry about me! You don't have to sacrifice to fix me, okay? In a place like this I'm perfectly capable of making it through one night alone."
He frowned, taking offense. "But it's not just one night, not if you're staying to" –
"If I don't push myself, I'll never get through this!" she snapped. She regretted it and settled. "I'm sorry, Warren."
Warren was stung and looked away. "I'm sorry too." He looked back at her, gaze full of sharp bits of hurt for which she took whole responsibility. He held his arms open. "Just one? To tide you over?"
Kate sighed and nodded. She hugged him, but there was no romance in it. She knew some of it had been real, in the beginning, and it was always hard to feel love die. Instead she absorbed only regret, remorse, and pain, but it did fill her with a temporarily sustaining drop or two of emotion.
He let her go soon after and she went into her room feeling more satisfied, but colder and more alone than before.
She dressed in warm pajamas and lay in her chilled sheets. Only her deep breathing reminded her what relaxation was supposed to sound like.
As the minutes ticked by, Kate found it harder and harder to breathe. It was helpful to feel the dulled emotion of dreaming children, but it felt so far away. It was far too hard to continue siphoning emotion from down the hall, and relax enough to sleep.
After half an hour her lungs burned and her muscles ached like a solid cramp. Forcing herself up, she grabbed a big plush toy and fumbled in her purse. Her fingers refused to grip the pheromone bottle, but she managed to open the vented lid and dab the powerful scent onto the stuffed dog's collar. Gripping the toy, she managed to drift into an uneasy sleep, her cheek pressed into the fur and the bottle clutched half an inch from her nose.
Just as she felt her mind fixing on something other than the black back of her eyelids, she felt from somewhere in the mansion a cold tidal wave of fear suffocate her and she sat up with a gasp. Her room was empty and still, but Kate felt it full of surreal terror and confusion. Everyone in the mansion was awake and felt huge urgency about something, something serious.
Kate listened to the aggressive, oppressive fear and she heard a scream. She paled. "Tildie!" She grabbed her robe and ran out and down the hall past others who were running downstairs to stare out any window they could find.
The staff and high school level students were assembled outside and Kate ran out toward them. Before she could call out to them, she froze, staring. "Oh my God!"
Like the grisly product of a muddy rainbow boiled down with mud and anger, a monster as tall as the mansion itself heaved its translucent bulk toward them, crushing the turf down at least two inches under its clawed feet. It was built like a glob of muck with beefy arms and legs, but it was oddly see-through with the surface of its body sliding over itself like the filmy shimmer of filthy oil on water in the middle of a dingy parking lot. It turned just enough for Kate to see its eyes were as bright as a truck's headlights on bright.
Kate panicked and stared, not only because she had never seen anything like it, but because she felt Tildie inside that creature, being consumed by fear, frustration, and caught in the grip of a terrifying nightmare. She was also terrified to see many of the students using their powers against Tildie's monster, like they said.
Warren saw her and pointed to the house. "Kate, get back inside!"
Charles' voice carried and she caught a few words. "Bobby, Piotr, make sure to attack after Kitty and Kurt have coaxed her far enough from the walls. We can't have another collapse."
Ororo, who was no doubt the cause of a dense cloud cover, watched the kids dash off. "Where could Tildie have come up with a monster like that?"
Kate ran toward Charles, feeling Tildie's anger and fear grow to higher intensity, the monster roaring and shying from the eight powerful mutants pushing it away from the mansion. "What are you doing?!" she demanded, eyes riveted on Tildie as Bobby blasted ice under her feet, attempting to bring her down.
"Go inside, Kaitlyn. She's not being hurt. Trust us, please." He watched carefully, clearly giving orders for which he needed to concentrate.
"You're terrifying her!" Kate felt the scared little girl in the monster, humiliated and thoroughly upset. She watched the others strike, dodge, and attack. Each time the team scored a significant hit, the beast shrank some. Though it appeared to be succeeding in stalling the creature, Kate could feel a sudden rush of concentrated fear from the depths of the monster. It only struck with hands, feet, and loud roars. Kate blinked in surprise when she realized the monster had no teeth. "It feeds on fear! Charles, it feeds on fear!"
Charles was tuned into the team and didn't answer.
Kate got between him and the others, holding his shoulders. "Let me help! I know how to help!"
"Kate!" he said, serious. "This is not a safe place."
"I have a plan!" she insisted, "I do!"
Charles paused and Kate felt him poke around in her mind. He nodded quickly. "Alright. If you're sure."
Warren landed next to them. "What is it, Professor?" He looked at Kate, stunned to see her still there and suddenly intensely worried. "You should be inside!"
"She can help. Don't let the others stop it," Charles said. "Quickly!"
"Warren, fly me to Tildie," Kate demanded, standing in position and yanking his arms around her.
He took off on Charles' orders, holding her securely. Kate's belly lurched when he flew her, but her eyes were fixed on Tildie.
"What are you going to do?" he asked, keeping a safe distance from the monster.
Kate felt the others take notice, but their shouts weren't loud enough to be heard over Tildie's embodied nightmare. She could, however, feel Piotr's terror and dismay like a rope pulling her back to earth.
"Get me closer! Closer, Warren!"
"What are you going to do? Kill it with kindness?!" he demanded, only inching closer when she wanted him to dive at Tildie.
"Closer!"
Warren got just close enough and Tildie's nightmare locked onto her, snatching her from Warren.
Kate felt like a ragdoll with motion sickness, swung around in the monster's claw 20 feet above the ground. It was plenty easy to scream with as much fear as she could muster, but Kate did something she rarely did… she collected up the fear coursing into her from the monster and concentrating it. With a scream she directed a blast of it right back into its source.
Tildie's monster whipped its head around and roared into her face, blasting her with breath that made her choke. Suddenly Kate was plunged into the monster's mouth and everything went black.
Kate opened her eyes and saw a battle again, but it was different than the one she'd just left. Things swam in space, as if in a snow globe. Looking up, Kate could see the faces of Charles and Jean tapping on the glass making a deafening pound with each tap, so loud she had to cover her ears as hard as she could.
Below her Kate saw everyone from the mansion surrounding something, milling around in a loose circle.
Willing herself down, she passed straight through them, finding they were completely oblivious to her and immaterial at that. She walked completely through Kurt and Bobby as if they were no more than fog, and once past them she could see over the inner ring of the children of the mansion pointing, yelling, and running away.
There, in the center, was a miniature version of Tildie's nightmare monster. This, however, was Tildie in the flesh.
"Leave me alone!" she wept, covering her eyes with the rotund, drippy monster's hands. "I won't hurt you! Lemme go!"
Kate felt the little girl's terror and humiliation soak into and saturate the soft parts of her gut, weighing her down and making her heart ache with its weight. Taking her hands off her ears, braving the terrible pound of the psychic's probing, she ran to Tildie and threw her arms around her. "Tildie!"
She opened up her heart and let in all of Tildie's built up terror, shame, and humiliation. She let the connection, the shared current of feeling, establish between them, mutually feeding and reciprocating. Taking in Tildie's suffering, Kate fed in all of the affection and sympathy she had for the girl, giving her love and positivity.
Tildie relaxed in her arms and finally could cry. Kate, however, felt her face burn, her mind spin, and her heart race, weeping right along with the little girl. "I'm here, Tildie! Everything's gonna be okay. You're not a monster, Tildie. You're not alone!" Overwhelmed with the shared tears, she felt Tildie hug back and she dug deep for her sympathetic current, wrapping the little girl in it as best she could.
Kate felt hands on them, rubbing her shoulder. Voices came to her ears muted at first, but soon they cleared and she recognized them.
"Katie! Katie, are you alright?!" Warren asked, desperate.
"She has rescued Tildie," came Piotr's stunned, but smiling voice.
Even Scott chuckled. "Never would have thought it… She did pretty good."
Kate looked up, surprised to find she was on her knees in the grass and surrounded by the other staff members. Tildie was in her arms, her face buried in Kate's soft robe. Kate stroked Tildie's hair and pressed her cheek against it carefully. "Look, Tildie! It's over!"
Charles wheeled over to them and dispersed the crowd. "Give them some air, everyone." He smiled at Tildie. "Feeling better?"
She blinked away tears. "I'm sorry, Professor. I'm sorry…"
"Don't worry, my dear, don't worry at all." He looked up to the others. "Students, thank you for your help. Go on back to bed, please."
They left with each feeling differently about the experience, but Kate held Tildie still and felt only the evening measures of emotion as she responded to her exchange.
"What you did was really reckless." A man said, his arms folded across his chest, but Kate could feel surprise and some small receptivity related to respect. She instantly recognized Scott Summers from his file.
"Scott, stop," Jean said gently. "You were wonderful, Kate. We all appreciate it."
Warren was as much relieved as mad. "You could have figured some way of doing it safer, Kate."
Charles shook his head. "Are you alright, Kate?"
Warren turned on him. "Of course she's not alright! She just got eaten! Or was I the only one who saw that?!"
Jim Logan, another staff member Kate had to recognize from their picture, chuckled. "You got one impressive death wish, Doll."
"Listen!" Kate stood, letting Tildie hold her around her waist as she stood straight. "I find it hard to believe that after this long you've overlooked that Tildie is more scared at everyone being afraid of her than anything else!"
"Ms. Kate?" Tildie said quietly.
She looked down at her and stroked her hair, giving the little girl a warm smile. "I'm sorry, sweetheart. You had a pretty bad night, didn't you?"
Tildie nodded, feeling understood and loved. Her little smile warmed Kate all the way through.
Kate knelt down on one knee and petted her cheek. "You know what? I didn't have a good night either."
"Really?" she asked. "Nightmares?"
Kate shook her head. "I couldn't sleep at all. Tell you what, how would you like to come sleep in my room with me?"
Tildie's smile widened. "And I won't have nightmares?"
"We'll try it for a few nights. While you're with me, I promise, no nightmares." Kate smiled. "Cross my heart!"
"Okay!"
Kate stood up, feeling approval all the way around from the staff, especially Charles and Warren. Without waiting any longer in the dark night chill, she took Tildie inside and up to her room.
With the little girl hugging a plush toy and held in Kate's arms, Kate felt a sweeter, gentler connection than she'd experienced before. There was no deceit, no struggle, and no guilt. Tildie willingly shared Kate's aura, receiving from it security and rest, while happily offering Kate a well of sustaining emotion to balance out and absorb. She couldn't feel a bit of hungry strain in her body and she could breathe with ease and comfort.
Once Tildie was asleep, Kate heard Charles' voice in her head. "You have no more to be ashamed of than Tildie, you know."
Kate smiled wryly, thinking an answer. "Oh really?"
"Really. It's never an easy thing to accept when you have to rely on others. Some struggles, like yours and Tildie's, have very simple, obvious solutions… though unorthodox."
Kate smiled hesitantly. "Like Tildie only needing a hug?"
Charles had a way of communicating a smile without anyone there to see it. "Smart mouth. Kaitlyn, I don't want to see any of my students try to make it through tough spots alone."
"I thought I was staff, Professor."
His voice in her head was gentle and kind. "All of my staff are still my students. No one ever outgrows learning who they are and what they can do. Kaitlyn, you have a wonderful gift and, unfortunately, it can feel like a curse. So can many others. There is no shame at all in accepting natural solutions."
Kate let that sink in, watching Tildie sleep peacefully in her arms, willingly sharing her soft, sleepy satisfaction.
"Getting what you need to be healthy doesn't have to mean hurting or deceiving someone. Sometimes all you have to do is ask for a little help."
Kate nodded slowly, hoping that would be the truth. "I feel so confused."
"Sleep for now, Kaitlyn. Good night and we're very happy to have you."