Chapter 5: A (very) Modest Proposal

It took another day to get back into the Redcliffe region of Ferelden. They didn't plan to linger, being so close to home. However, a legion of Fereldan soldiers, bearing both the Redcliffe banner and that of the ruling Theirin family, stopped them as they rode onto the West Road. "Inquisition!" called the captain of the force. "Ferelden did not call for your aid!"

Theo reined in his horse, but did not dismount. He scratched absently at his beard. "We're passing through to Skyhold, returning from a mission in the Frostback basin. We don't intend to stay."

"King Alistair's advisor, Arl Teagan Guerrin of Redcliffe, bids us to escort you to the mountain pass," the captain said. He stood straight and tall and his voice sounded certain enough, but his nostrils were slightly flared and he looked a tad pale beneath the sun.

Theo's brow furrowed. They'd never needed an escort before. The Inquisition had saved Redcliffe from a doomed future under Magister Alexius. They'd all but given Arl Teagan back his lands, and had been welcomed in Ferelden regularly. "We will be glad for the escort," Theo said at last in an even voice. "You may convey our thanks to Arl Teagan, and I will have our ambassador draft up formal thanks when we return to Skyhold."

"The Arl requires no thanks," the captain said. "We would just like to see the armed force leave our lands."

Theo took a deep breath, but clenched his jaw, nodded, and they rode on. He didn't say a word the rest of the day, though Dorian could tell from the tension in his shoulders, and the way his usually well-behaved horse twitched and skittered along the roads, that keeping his mouth shut was not easy. Theo had always been impulsive, though he'd gotten much better at reining in his emotions. This was probably killing him.

By nightfall they'd made it into the no-man's land of the Frostbacks, where the border of Ferelden and Orlais was fuzzy at best. It would be too dangerous to take the horses through, so they set up one last camp. "We had no problems when we were going down into the Basin," Theo finally said, pacing around the campfire. "We've never had a problem with Ferelden before."

"That you know of," Bull pointed out, and Theo whirled around to face him. Bull just leaned back against a rock. "How much contact do you actually, personally, have with the surrounding areas?"

"That's what I have Josephine for," Theo said, but some of the anger had gone out of his voice.

"Josephine's good to have around," Bull agreed. "But when was the last time you checked in with her about the Inquisition's standing with surrounding lands?" Theo's eyes were wide and he was searching for some way of retorting, even when he knew Bull was right. Bull was almost always right.

"If something was wrong she'd tell me," Theo finally said, but he wasn't meeting Bull's eyes.

"She may have been trying to tell you."

Theo sighed and rubbed his eyes, then shook his glowing hand. He clenched his hand into a fist and the bright green light shown through his fingers. "Then we leave at dawn to get home," he said at last and disappeared into his tent. Dorian glanced at Bull, but the big Qunari could only shrug and go back to sipping from his skin while his single eye stared out into the darkness.

Theo hadn't been wrong about chaos awaiting them when they returned home. No sooner had he dismounted than Josephine had come flouncing down to the stables, demanding his attentions. It was clear she was unhappy, because she had a way of flouncing when she wasn't happy. Dorian had always watched the way she moved, amazed that so many ruffles could still appear dignified, and deduced that she probably had some form of magic woven into her clothing. It was the only explanation, and one he often teased her with. But when she was angry, the magic was gone: her measured steps became stormy and her ruffles flounced.

She was definitely flouncing now as she paced through her office. "You cannot avoid the Fereldan crown's requests indefinitely!" she snapped, shoving the rolled parchment into Theo's face. "Arl Teagan demands an audience!"

"Then give him one," Theo snapped, grabbing the rolled parchment from her. "I'm not stopping him, or you." He unrolled the parchment and skimmed over it. "He doesn't want an audience. He wants us to move out. I let his troops escort us through Redcliffe without complaint. I don't see what the problem is." Josephine wasn't pacified though. He sighed and shook his head. "Hundreds of people call Skyhold home," he said after a moment, trying to keep his voice calm, though Dorian could hear the way he trembled. Skyhold was home to Theo as well. If they moved out, this would be yet another temporary dwelling in a long string. "We can't just leave because some disgruntled Arl tells us to." He leaned back against the wall, arms crossed over his chest. He hadn't even had a chance to change out of his dusty travel gear. A few strands of hair fell in his face and dark circles ringed his eyes.

Josephine snatched back the parchment. "Thank you for sharing the obvious with me, your Worship," she said. She impatiently brushed a tendril of dark hair out of her face. "This… is a delicate balance that must be maintained."

"Tell him I'm still recovering from saving them from an embodied Avvar god," Theo suggested. "Unless of course they think that they would have preferred to deal with it themselves."

"You are impossible," Josephine huffed before turning on her heel and flouncing out to the throne room.

Theo sighed and followed her, but she'd already disappeared. He collapsed into the throne, the centerpiece of the room. He shifted and threw his legs over one arm of the dragon maw throne. He rubbed his eyes and scratched at his scruffy beard. He stared moodily at the drying mud on his boots. "Don't say it," Theo said to Dorian after a few tense moments of silence.

"You were a tad short with her," Dorian said anyway. Theo lifted his head and glared at him. Dorian leaned against the the throne and stared down at Theo. So much of the earnest, youthful charm he'd fallen in love with had been replaced with the careworn lines of a man who held the weight of the world on his shoulders. He reached down and trailed his fingers along Theo's jaw line. "You work hard, and everyone sees the work you do. Lady Montilyet orchestrates everything behind the scenes. If she brings you something to attend to, it is only because she has exhausted her vast swath of options."

"I thought you were on my side."

"This isn't an issue of sides, Amatus," Dorian told him. He folded his hands atop the throne and rested his chin there. "I love you. But that doesn't mean that I must coddle you. Sometimes you need my encouragement, others you need my honesty." Theo swung his legs back around and leaned his elbows on his knees, surveying the throne room. He said nothing, but his cheeks were tinged with pink. "What really galls you?" Dorian asked softly, staring at his back.

"When we settled here I told myself this was it," Theo said softly. "Home. After Haven was destroyed and so many followed us, I can't have been the only one. I don't know what to do, Dorian. It's never enough."

Having grown up a prodigy mage in Tevinter, who still managed never to meet any expectations, Dorian could sympathize. Yet when he had realized that, he had walked away. It wasn't worth his time, energy, or talents. And when he'd done that he'd found the Inquisition, and Theo. He told Theo all of this, and the Inquisitor smiled and allowed Dorian to lead him to their room, where they snuggled deep into the pile of blankets on the bed. Dorian started a fire with a flick of his wrist and hoped, as he drifted off to sleep, that it would be enough to abate Theo's melancholy. It was getting harder and harder to do these days.

Dorian woke to raised voices floating up the stairwell. It was later in the morning; He was still tired from their adventures in the Frostbacks and he stuck his head under the pillow and tried to go back to sleep, but his curiosity won out. He sat up and leaned on one elbow, cocking his ear toward the stairs and then he grimaced. Josephine again. He was surprised the ambassador didn't just quit, though with the way Theo had been lately, he supposed the Inquisition needed all the diplomatic perks it could muster.

"You still should have told me!" she shouted.

Theo's footfalls on the stone stairs. "I didn't think she'd actually agree to it! Otherwise I would have."

"You do realize what we'll have to do to prepare…"

"Cassandra saw this place at its very worst. I'm sure she'll be pleased with the improvements."

Josephine swore in Antivan and Dorian heard the door slam. Theo appeared at the top of the stairs and winced when he saw Dorian sitting up, not even bothering to hide that he'd been listening. His cheeks reddened and he ran a hand through his hair. "Yes I heard it, yes it woke me up, yes, you're going to explain, but only after you get back into bed with me," Dorian told him, patting the sheets beside him. Theo was fully dressed, but he joined Dorian anyway. They laid back against a bolster, Theo leaning his head on Dorian's shoulder. "The Divine? Really?" Dorian finally asked as he absently ran his hand through Theo's hair, brushing the long strands away from his face.

"I didn't think she'd be able to come, so I figured no harm in asking," Theo told him. He wrapped his arm around Dorian's torso. "I was trying to find a way to tell Josephine that wouldn't result in her wanting to eviscerate me. Apparently I failed." Dorian felt him smile.

"What could be so important that you'd need to secretly send word to the Divine?" Dorian asked, glancing down, but Theo would not meet his eyes. Dorian's heart fluttered when, for a moment, he saw vestiges of Theo's shy, sweet side that he'd missed so much during the trip into the Frostbacks.

Theo closed his eyes and tightened his hold for a moment. "When we faced Hakkon I was so scared I'd lose you."

"It took Hakkon to make that happen?" Dorian asked, incredulous. "The Venatori, Red Templars, Corypheus… were they just practice for a dragon?"

Theo sat up and lightly swatted his arm. "That, on top of everything about Ameridan and Telana. I've been a brat, Dorian, I know that, and I'm sorry. I…" He took a deep breath. "I've felt very lost lately, but I know I'd be even more lost without you."

Now he was staring at Dorian, his face blotchy red with fear and embarrassment and his green mark sparking violently from whatever emotions he was holding back. "Theodane. Amatus. What are you…" Dorian swallowed. It wasn't like him to feel so nervous, and he didn't like it one bit. He felt his mustache twitching and his breathing hitch in his lungs. And was that sweat on his palms?

"Cassandra agreed to officiate our vows. I mean, if you said yes, of course." Now Theo stared at the sheets and bit on his lip. His pulse was pounding so hard Dorian could see it fluttering at the base of his throat.

"You summoned the Divine to officiate a marriage?" Dorian asked, trying so, so very hard to sound offended. It was his turn to swat Theo's shoulder. "And what made you so confident I would say yes?" He held his breath.

"Um… other than me being an ass lately, I didn't think you had a reason to say no?" Theo asked. His cheeks were blotchier, his nostrils slightly flared.

Theo was a man who didn't know how to ignore risks, who barreled headlong into things and trusted his supernatural luck to save him. But luck had nothing to do with this. Dorian should have felt scared, should have wanted to run as far and as fast as possible. But he grabbed Theo's shirt in his fists and crushed his mouth against Theo's lips and could barely breathe from squishing his nose into Theo's face. It was the sloppiest, most undignified kiss Dorian had probably given in his life and he didn't care.

He gave off an air of absolute certainty at all times; he'd grown up having to, and it had become a part of him. Theo was the one person who knew how uncertain life could be for the both of them, and now he was asking Dorian to be his, forever. He offered support, loyalty, stability, and unconditional love: things his own family never had, and never could.

"This wasn't how I planned," Theo said, but he was smiling and his green eyes were glassy with tears. He cupped Dorian's cheek and ran his thumb over his cheekbone. "There was going to be breakfast. And a speech."

"This is perfect," Dorian told him. His mind reeled with feelings he couldn't feel all at once and it left him dizzy. Above all was relief, relief that the gulf between them had narrowed, and may perhaps have disappeared entirely. He leaned back and pulled Theo into a deep kiss. "Now. Let me ravage you properly to celebrate."