Chapter 6: Diplomacy Check
The problem with Theo was he always seemed to catch Dorian off guard. It was usually pleasant and Dorian didn't mind it. But by that evening he realized exactly what this meant: Cassandra, Divine Victoria herself, was going to preside over the nuptials of the celebrated Inquisitor, to his betrothed from Tevinter. The implications were enough to make Dorian dizzy and panicked, two feelings he did not care for.
Dorian slipped off to his usual library nook, a place of comfort that he'd carved out for himself when they'd first settled in Skyhold. At first the croaks of the ravens and the breezes from the rookery one floor up had irked him, but now they were just part of the charm of the place.
He mindlessly grabbed a book and huddled into the high-backed chair he'd claimed. Rather than worry with a candle he conjured a pale wisp of magelight that hovered over his shoulder, illuminating the page in a faint white-blue. He turned the pages slowly, but wasn't reading. His mind spun with what had happened and what he'd agreed to.
Even if he wanted to back out, he couldn't. He didn't want to, necessarily; but a little warning may have been nice. He loved Theo; there was no questioning that. And all of Thedas knew their beloved Inquisitor was in love with the mage from Tevinter. Thoughts of his homeland sparked memories of vineyards and olive groves; sparkling blue seas (beautiful even though he got sick just standing on a dock) and the sun-baked streets of Minrathous. Dorian loved Tevinter, too. It wasn't fear of spending forever with Theo; it was fear of spending forever away from the Tevinter Imperium that made him feel tingly and nauseous whenever he thought of the sudden plans for the future.
"Congratulations, Dorian." He glanced up in mild annoyance, but relaxed when he saw Leliana. He gestured to another chair in his nook and she sat down. Leliana was smiling, her blue eyes shimmering but still calculating in the pale magical light. "You make him happy," she finally said. "Perhaps now he will stop feeling the need to seek out a fight."
"You noticed that too, then," Dorian said. He closed the book he wasn't reading and shifted to face the spymaster. "I'm pleased I make him happy; then again, look at me. I'm glorious. How could I not make someone happy?" he asked, and she chuckled. "Though I'm not sure I want to be responsible for keeping him in line."
"That's not all that's bothering you," she said, fixing her gaze on his face. Dorian was good at hiding his emotions; he could play with the best bards and put most masked Orlesians to shame. Unfortunately for him, Leliana was preternaturally perceptive. "I know you, Dorian," she said and he quirked an eyebrow, waiting for her to go on. "You want to do things on your terms, and he one-ups you."
"True, I did not wake up this morning expecting to be on the receiving end of a proposal—one that I'd actually agree to," he said, feeling the warm flush creep into his cheeks. "And then he managed to convince the Divine herself to preside?"
"Cassandra is still a friend of the Inquisition's members, even if Divine Victoria must be neutral," Leliana said with a shrug. Then her face broke into a grin. "Do you want revenge?" she asked.
"I've seen your definition of revenge," Dorian said, and her smirk intensified. Though, the thought of beating Theo at his own game was so very, very tempting. "What did you have in mind?"
It should have been an event to rival the ball at the Winter Palace in Halamshiral two years ago, and it was evidently driving Josephine to the brink of insanity not being allowed to send for guests. "It's not a political move," Theo told her, standing at the window in her office. He leaned his forehead against the glass, eyes closed. "I'm not intentionally slighting Empress Celene, especially if she doesn't know about this. Varric is coming as my friend, not as the Viscount of Kirkwall. Same with Cassandra." He sighed and his breath steamed up the window panes. "Everything we've ever done has been a huge production. I just want this to be small. Intimate. The people I care about." He turned back to Josephine and gently took the quill from her hand and replaced it in the inkwell.
Josephine did not quite flounce, but Dorian could tell from his position in a chair before the fireplace that she was having a hard time restraining herself. "If you do this for him, he'll deal with Ferelden for you," Dorian said with a grin. Josephine's face lit up and Theo's eyes widened. "Simple give and take. And I'm also amused at the irony that the Inquisitor and his ambassador need me to be the diplomat," he added. Theo was staring at him, his eyes nearly bugging out of his head and his cheeks flushed deep crimson. "Now if you'll excuse us, dear Inquisitor, Lady Montilyet and I have some business to attend to." Theo blinked, not quite understanding he was being dismissed.
"You're lucky I love you," he finally told Dorian, but he was smiling. He scooped up several scrolls from Josephine's desk, all marked with the Fereldan seal. He gave Dorian a kiss on the cheek before he left.
The heavy wooden door clicked shut behind him. Dorian nearly held his breath and a moment later glanced at Josephine, who was doing likewise. They let out their collective sigh of relief and he couldn't help a slightly nervous chuckle as well. While Theo wouldn't be quite angry with him for this, Dorian certainly preferred to have the element of surprise on his side. "So?" he asked Josephine.
She settled back in her chair and tucked a wayward curl behind her ear. "It is… funny in a way that you should mention being diplomatic," she said. It was not what he'd been expecting to hear and he nodded for her to continue. She sighed and folded her hands on her desk. "I'd have hoped the mountains of correspondence would have dwindled, but with each new accomplishment, more people seek the Inquisitor's graces."
"They do," Dorian agreed. He tried to understand that it was all part of who Theo was and what he represented to the people of Thedas. But it was hard not to feel slighted occasionally. "What does this have to do with me and diplomacy? Other than smoothing Theodane's occasional rough edges, I'm no politician."
"No, you're not," Josephine said with a smile. "But you are the strongest link between the Inquisition and the Imperium." Dorian had lost count of how many times his stomach had dropped in the last few days. "The Imperium has named you their official ambassador to the Inquisition. I suppose congratulations are in order?" She watched him with a critical eye.
"This means I have to go back now." His voice sounded far away over the roar in his ears. He'd tossed around the phrase 'just a little while longer' so breezily whenever anyone asked him how long he'd stay with the Inquisition. And now a little while was up, and it was up just when he'd agreed to stay by Theo's side forever. "Though it may have been nice if they asked me first."
"I can of course explain that you will be indisposed for a short time," Josephine offered. She sounded sympathetic. He was evidently doing a terrible job at controlling his emotions. "And as for that… all is progressing on schedule. I received word this morning."
Dorian nodded his thanks and smiled, not trusting himself to speak. He feared that if he opened his mouth he'd projectile vomit all over her desk. Even as he wordlessly excused himself he realized he would be going home for the first time in years. He paused to look around at the stolid stone walls and high ceilings of Skyhold. This was home, too.
He'd spent months wandering aimlessly all over Thedas before finding his place at Theo's side. He'd told off his father and sent Halward back to Tevinter with his tail dragging like a sad mabari. He'd entertained thoughts of going back in the last year or so, but waking up beside Theo in their soft, warm bed with the bright morning light reflecting off the mountains had made it little more than a pleasant dream. Now, he had to go back. Even if Josephine bought him some time, it certainly threw his future plans for a loop.
Theo was sitting at his desk up in their quarters. He kept running a hand through his hair and tapping a quill against the parchment. Several scrolls with pieces of broken red wax seals were scattered to the side. Dorian paused at the top of the stairs and stared for a moment. Theo's cheeks were flushed and his hair was a mess. Dorian felt a smile tug at his lips. Theo truly was the only person he wanted to spend the rest of his days with. Even with the thought of returning to Tevinter compounding his nerves, he realized it could work. If the Inquisition could pull back from being a military force, if Theo could settle down, maybe they could even establish a home in the Imperium together. Live quietly, eat peeled grapes, soak up the sun…
"Now's not a good time to say 'I told you so,'" Theo said without looking up. "But if you're spying for Josephine, I am making my best effort to appease his highness. Or should I say his highness's paranoid advisor." He dropped the quill. "I get the feeling nothing I say will be enough."
"It pains me that you think so little of my intentions." Dorian flopped onto the settee across the room.
Theo ran his hand through his hair. "I'm sorry. I feel like I can't do anything right lately." He crossed the room and joined Dorian. "Politics, friendships, love…" He rested his hand on Dorian's knee. "There was a time, not long ago, when everything I said or did was exactly what people needed. And now it feels like every step I take is just one step closer to an edge I can't see."
"You are too hard on yourself," Dorian told him. "And you focus too inwardly. Perhaps if you tried to see what others see you'd feel more at ease."
"Others see a bumbling child who can't do anything right."
Dorian sighed. "You're so certain of that? Or perhaps that's what you fear they see, and that's why you either avoid the things you fear, or dive in headlong and recklessly?" It was clear that Theo wanted to argue, but he couldn't. "I fell in love with a man who had no idea what he was doing, and wasn't bothered by that. I fell in love with a man who wasn't afraid of possibility, and who looked outward to see what he could do, because it needed to be done-not because he was constantly trying to prove himself. And I still love that man, even if he has lost his way a bit," he added, turning his hand palm-up to clasp Theo's hand.
"Maker's balls. I can hardly stand myself these days. I don't know how you put up with me," Theo told him. He pulled Dorian into an embrace.
"Because I know this will be worth it in the long run." Dorian believed it; he had to believe it. He'd watched his parents as he grew up. Their marriage was a loveless arrangement of convenience and duty. His relationship with Theo was nothing like that. He knew he'd be foolish to think they would never have problems. "I won't lie though," he said. "You have been a bit of an ass of late. And, for the fun of it, I told you so."
Theo smiled and Dorian felt him relax a bit. "I deserve that."
Dorian nudged him. "Go. Finish your missive. It doesn't have to be perfect. You won't make all people happy at all times now that there's no unifying threat. But just being there when you need to be will go much further than chasing dragons and legends and avoiding it altogether."
"For that matter, I don't know why I put up with you," Theo teased. He gave Dorian a light kiss and headed back over to the desk.
"You know exactly why. I'm dashing, intelligent, witty, handsome, talented, fantastic in bed… shall I go on?"
Theo didn't answer, but he was smiling, and then he did that little lip bite he did when he was concentrating. At last he scrawled his signature and waved his hand rapidly over the parchment to dry the ink. He rang for a servant and handed the parchment off to be delivered to Josephine, and added that he would be taking dinner in his chambers this evening.
"We are?" Dorian asked him.
Theo flopped on the bed and batted his eyes at Dorian. "I've had people calling on me left and right. I'd like some time together. Just us."
Dorian wouldn't be able to write his letter home, to ask about his appointments in Tevinter, or to check in on his other plans that were set in motion. But Theo was trying. And as they nibbled on a light dinner later on, before the fire with the moonlight slanting in through the tall windows, Theo was focused entirely on Dorian. This made it particularly difficult to bring up the topic of leaving.
Dorian leaned back on the rug and flicked his wrist toward the hearth. A small burst of flame caught and the fire burned brighter and warmer. Theo sipped at his wine and sighed contentedly. "I think you have an idea there about retiring comfortably," he said with a grin.
"That may not be possible," Dorian finally told him. Theo's green eyes narrowed and he tensed up once more. It was just what Dorian had been afraid of. He explained Josephine's message about becoming an ambassador to Tevinter. "It's not forever, and I'm not expected to stay indefinitely," he said.
Theo took a deep breath and let it out slowly. "I… I understand. It only makes sense. If the Inquisition hopes to formally establish and maintain ties with Tevinter, we need you to do this." He stared at the fire, jaw clenched.
Dorian scooted closer to Theo. He gently turned his chin, making Theo face him. "And what of you? What are your thoughts on this?"
Theo didn't have to think. "I don't want you to go," he said with a shrug. "Especially so soon after we've formalized our union." He smiled slightly. "I could go with you," he offered.
"Much as I would love that, it may not be the best idea," Dorian said. "Please, don't look that way, love. There's a reason Tevinter's symbol is the serpent. The Imperium is a den of snakes, and matters of politics are handled best by insiders. Lady Montilyet has done well securing what influence she can, but she recognizes the need for an insider. And more practically speaking, it would be dangerous for you. I'd hate for us to marry, only for you to be poisoned mere weeks later."
Theo's face was crestfallen, but he nodded his agreement. "You know the Imperium better than anyone here. I trust you and your judgment." He took a sip of his wine and leaned back. The orange glow of the fire made him look softer. "Tell me about Tevinter. Anything about it. Everything about it."
Dorian poured himself another glass. "Why?"
"You always look so happy when you talk about it," Theo said. "It makes me glad to see you so happy." He smiled and glanced shyly at Dorian, looking up through his long lashes.
Dorian told him of citrus groves and sunbaked cobblestones, of ancient buildings held together by magic, and of aquamarine seas and the stories sailors told about jewel-finned mermaids. Theo listened intently, and by the end of Dorian's musings they were snuggled on the bed in each other's arms. Dorian hoped that someday things would be simpler and the Imperium could find a peaceful existence with the rest of Thedas. But that day was far off, at least until he could help to engineer that accord. For now he would have to settle for enjoying the time he had with Theo prior to his departure.
It was only when he was lying in bed later that night, the moonlight slicing across the sheets and casting sharp shadows on Theo's sleeping face, that he realized that, since they'd met they'd only been apart once and it had been under the worst circumstances imaginable. And this time, he'd be parting of his own volition.