epic rap battle of snart
shikieiki yamaxanadu vs. dio joestar
we apologize in advance if cherry girls is actually a real stand
go
shiki:
first off, get off my stage
all you've got is senseless rage
habitually increasing
your tiny face is greasing
sweating the fetid blood of your foes
numbering in the breads they scream below
so i've got a little judgement
it'll really make you cry
when you open up this book
instead it makes you die
dio:
that's right, it's my スタンド (sutando)
we came down from orlando
got some knives and a road roller
is that cool? i'd say it's colder
that's right it was me dio all along
i'm hijacking this pathetic song
you think you're cool? i think you're not
your attitude's totally fucking shot
i've had to deal with joestars, with stands and pillar men
if you think you've still got it, your game's just PG-10
shiki:
oh look, what clever joestars
see them fighting, they never learn
how i hate those joey-joeys
they make my stomach become a fern
you think you've got some power?
that's swell, but go take a shower
you're gonna feel danmaku churn
you're gonna feel that sweet sweet burn
and you're sadder than maribel hearn
dio:
ha, you fool! za warudo! toki wo tomare!
with my stand, [THE WORLD]'s ability to stop time, i can defeat you
i have nine seconds of time, and with that i will stop you
1
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5
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8
[road roller] ROAD ROLLA DA!
(slam)
WRRRRRRRRRRRRRRYYYYYY!
shiki:
ha... you FOOL!
dio:
nani?
shiki:
Ha! Did you think YOU were the only one with a STAND?
That's right, Dio.
This is my Stand's power!
[ゴゴゴゴゴゴゴゴゴ] Activate, Stand of Mine!
[shiki's stand appear]
dio:
ko...KORE WA!
shiki:
THAT'S RIGHT! FEEL THE POWER OF THE LEGENDARY STAND, [CHERRY GIRLS]! WITH THIS POWER, I CAN IMPLANT A KNIFE INTO YOUR SKULL, AND EVERY TIME YOUR STAND MOVES, THE KNIFE HAS A 1/100 CHANCE TO KILL YOU! BUT THAT'S NOT ALL! EVERY TIME, THE CHANCE IS DOUBLED! AFTER EVEN JUST 5 MOVEMENTS, THE CHANCE IS 32/100! AND THEN THE SECONDARY POWER OF MY STAND ACTIVATES, WHICH CAUSES YOUR STAND TO BE PULLED APART BY THREE CHAINS ON EACH OF HIS LIMBS! EACH TIME ONE OF THESE CHAINS IS BROKEN, THAT LIMB OF THE STAND IS LOST AND ITS POWER IS REDUCED ACCORDINGLY! YOU FOOL! BUT THAT'S NOT ALL! THEN, I WILL ACTIVATE MY HIDDEN ABILITY, [MEGA JUDGEMENT], AND OPEN THE VERY GATES OF HELL BENEATH YOU, POWERING UP MY STAND BY 5000%! WITH THIS POWER, [CHERRY GIRLS] BECOMES [CHERRY GIRLS OVER HELL]! THIS ALLOWS MY STAND TO PLACE A KNIFE WITHIN THE HEAD OF UP TO TWENTY NEARBY PEOPLE, ACTIVATING THE EFFECT WHENEVER THEY MOVE! BUT THIS ISN'T THE END OF IT- I CAN PLANT ALL TWENTY KNIVES IN ONE HEAD, MEANING THAT EVEN AFTER TWO MOVEMENTS, THE CHANCE IS 80/100! FOOLISH DIO! FOR THAT IS NOT ALL! WITH MY ROD OF JUDGEMENT, I CAN FURTHER INCREASE MY STAND'S POWER, MAKING [CHERRY GIRLS OVER HELL] BECOME [GREAT JUDGEMENT: CHERRY GIRLS OVER HELL DX]! THIS ALLOWS MY STAND TO SUMMON UP TO TWENTY MORE KNIVES IN THE HEADS OF THOSE WHO HAVE COMMITED SEVERE SINS, SUCH AS YOURSELF!
DIO:
BUT! HOW DID YOU DODGE MY ULTIMATE ATTACK!
SHIKI:
HMPH! THAT IS SIMPLE! YOU DON'T SEEM TO REALIZE THE SHEER SCALE OF [GREAT JUDGEMENT: CHERRY GIIRLS OVER HELL DX]! IT STANDS AT OVER TWENTY TIMES THE HEIGHT OF THE SPACE NEEDLE, TIMES A MILLION!
DIO:
HA! THAT WON'T STOP ME! MY STAND, [ZA WARUDO], HAS THE ABILITY TO FREEZE TIME FOR NINE SECONDS! IN THAT TIME, I COULD NOT ONLY KILL [GREAT JUDGEMENT: CHERRY GIRLS OVER HELL DX], BUT KILL YOU TOO, NOW THAT I KNOW YOUR SECRETS AND ABILITIES!
SHIKI:
N-NANI?
DIO:
SOU DA! KORA WA ORE NO SUTANDO DA!
SHIKI:
JUST KIDDING, YOU FOOL!
DIO:
WHAAAT?
SHIKI:
[GREAT JUDGEMENT: CHERRY GIRLS OVER HELL] HAS ALREADY PLACED FIVE HUNDRED KNIVES IN YOUR HEAD. YOU HAVE ALREADY LOST
DIO:
[explodes into knives]
who won? who's next
nobody i hope