Summary: Sequel to Dirty Little Secret
Pairing: strong Rachel/Quinn
Notes: Continuation of Rachel and Quinn's baby free weekend. Rachel beats Santana at her own game and Santana calls the shots or at least she thinks she does.
Warning: language (I mean c'mon, Santana's involved, what'd you expect?)
Disclaimer: I won nothings but the random rambling of which occur in my brain. Glee and any other copyrighted content used belongs to the respective owners.
"Christ Q, crack a window! It smells like sex in here."
Quinn sat up from her position on the bed with a sigh, "I've really got to tell mom to stop letting you in."
Santana leant against the doorframe, one hand on her hip, "You love me and I'm serious, this place wreaks."
"You're impossible."
"At least now I know why you weren't answering your phone this morning."
A smirk played against her lips as her mind drifted to the image of waking up with her girlfriends head buried between her thighs, a dark blush blooming in her cheeks.
"I don't even wanna know what kinky thought you just had," the Latina chuckled as she came into the room and sat on the bed beside her best friend.
"Who said anything about kinky?" she challenged.
"You know, I think I preferred it when you were a prude."
"It's not my fault you're jealous of my sex life."
"In your dreams, Fabray."
"Quinn, did you want to-oh!" She stopped short in the doorway, thankful she had the sense to put her underwear on beneath the towel that was currently wrapped around her body. "Hello Santana."
"Berry, I swear to God if you drop that towel, I will actually kill you. It's bad enough that I've seen your tits plenty, I do not need to see the rest."
"Quinn's never seemed to complain," the tiny brunette shot back with a smirk.
"Ok," she turned to her best friend, "she's getting too good at this game. We should never have taught her how to play."
"Don't look at me," Quinn laughed, "you started it." Hazel eyes studied the girl in the doorway, noticing the devious glint in chocolate eyes and found herself both intrigued and scared at the same time.
"You know, Santana," Rachel began slowly, "you probably don't want to sit there."
Quinn bit her lip, determined not to laugh, she knew exactly what her girlfriend was up to.
"What?" Santana's brow furrowed momentarily before her features widened and jumped up off the bed, "Jesus! Fuck!"
"Sounds familiar."
"Stop!" Dark eyes zeroed in on the diva, "Right now!"
"You probably don't want to stand there either."
"For fucks sake!"
Rachel walked into the room and grabbed her clothes, stopping to press a kiss to Quinn's rapidly flushing cheek.
"Is there anywhere in this room you two haven't fucked?!"
"Hmmmm..." Rachel cast her eyes around the room slowly before settling on her girlfriend and giving her a smile that conveyed just how much she was enjoying having the upper hand when it came to winding the Latina up, "Nope."
"I need a shower. Several showers!"
Rachel gave a winning smile before bouncing out of the room to head back to the bathroom to get changed.
Quinn couldn't hold it in any longer and burst out laughing, "Your face right now!"
"Fuck you, Fabray!" She crossed her arms, decidedly unimpressed by what had just happened.
"You do realise that she was screwing with you?" she managed to ask as she continued to laugh, the look of pure disgust on her best friends face.
"Seriously, is there anywhere in this room that's safe to be right now?"
"Yes, San," she rolled her eyes, "unlike you and Britt, we don't insist on having sex on every available surface."
"Good," she perched herself on the desk before noticing the slightly embarrassed look on the blondes face, "what?"
"Except that one," she muttered before looking up at the Latina.
"I fucking hate you!"
Quinn shrugged trying to calm down her urge to start laughing again, she was slowly getting used to being open about sex, in the joking sense of course, there was no way she was ready to start having serious discussions about her sex life with anyone but Rachel and that was only because Rachel was part of her sex life.
"Since when did you and Berry turn into lust bunnies anyway?"
"Rachel," she corrected automatically, she was determined to get her best friend to call her girlfriend by her actual name, "and we haven't turned into anything, the girls are with Puck this weekend, that's all."
"Ah," Santana nodded in understanding, "you're going to screw yourselves senseless because the kiddies are with Daddy."
Quinn let out an exasperated sigh, "We are not screwing ourselves senseless. We're just enjoying having time to ourselves."
"So you can fuck," Santana said triumphantly.
"So who can fuck?" Rachel questioned as she reappeared.
"No one," Quinn said pointedly but she may as well not have bothered.
"You and Q."
"We don't fuck," Rachel fired.
"I swear, Berry, if you say you make love I'm actually going to vomit right here."
Rachel just shook her head, there really was no winning when it came to Santana, and reached for the hair brush.
"She kind of has a point," Quinn muttered quietly not expecting to be heard. She knew that her and Rachel didn't fuck, ok when she thought about it that time in New York when they were both fuelled with anger could possibly fall in the category of fucking but in general they didn't fuck, what they did was more than fucking, not that she'd ever be able to explain that to her cynical best friend but that didn't matter because she knew and Rachel knew.
"Oh barf!" Santana stuck a finger in her mouth. "Seriously, why do I spend time around you two?"
Rachel lifted her head up, "Why are you here Santana? I mean it's nice to see you, but I assume there's a reason you're here."
"Well maybe if you weren't busy screwing Q into oblivion this morning she would've answered her phone and I wouldn't have had to drag my ass over here to pry you two apart long enough to actually talk."
It was Rachel's turn to blush, she'd vaguely heard Quinn's phone that morning but she much more focused between her girlfriends legs.
"Ok, enough! I don't even wanna know what you two were doing this morning that makes you both get that look," Santana accused pointing at the pair of girls.
"I have no idea what you are on about, Santana," Rachel tried to sound indifferent, "I was merely-"
"You were merely thinking about whatever you were doing when I tried to call, Q," she countered.
Quinn could see Rachel starting to form an argument and quickly interjected before any of their morning could be revealed in the heat of the moment to prove a point, "We're getting off track. Why were you trying to call me, San?"
Santana stared at Rachel pointedly, silently daring her to try and argue when she knew she was right. "B wanted to see if you wanted to have lunch with us," she said simply.
"That's it?" Quinn knew there was more to what her friend was saying.
"And maybe talk about what we're gonna do for your birthday," Santana relented.
"I see..." Quinn sat quietly for a moment, "I don't really want to do anything for my birthday."
"I knew you'd say that which is exactly why we're going out to lunch to talk about it."
"And by talk about it you mean bully me until I give in and you get your way."
"Who said anything about bullying?" Santana arched an eyebrow, "I'd just help you out a little to come round to my way of thinking."
"I know your idea of helping out," Quinn pointed out.
"Maybe it wouldn't be such a bad idea to hear her out," Rachel interjected.
"No!" Quinn turned to face Rachel, "You do not get to side with Satan. You're meant to be on my side."
"I am on your side," Rachel placed the brush back on the side and took a seat beside her girlfriend, "I just think that we should celebrate your birthday, that's all. You're turning eighteen after all."
"Then we'll celebrate. You, me, the girls, maybe we'll even get cake but-"
"No buts, Fabray!" Santana interjected, "We're celebrating your birthday whether you like it or not."
Rachel gave the Latina a withering stare, "You're really not helping."
"I don't care," she sounded like a petulant child. "Q, this is a big birthday and it's the last one we're probably going to celebrate together before everyone fucks off to college to do their own thing. Do not fight me on this because Berry will fight for you and I know for a fact that she's got a mean ass right hook. And I swear, Berry, if the words I'm sorry so much as cross your lips I will stick my foot so far up your ass you'll be sucking on my kneecap."
Rachel hung her head in shame, she didn't think she could apologise enough for letting her anger out on Santana but the Latina refused to let her apologise anymore.
"Will you stop threatening my girlfriend if I say I'll at least consider it?" Quinn pleaded.
"Nope."
"You're not going to let this go, are you?"
"Q, when have I ever let anything go?"
"I hate you so much." Quinn ran a hand through her hair and sighed. "Fine."
"Yes!"
"But I have one condition."
"Fuck."
"No alcohol," she stated firmly only to be met with silence. "I mean it, Santana, it's my birthday and I want Charlie and Beth there and I will not tolerate alcohol around my daughters."
The Latina threw her hands up in the air in defeat and huffed, "Fine! I hate that you get to play the baby card, that's beyond cheating."
A small laugh escaped Rachel's lips.
"What's so fun, Berry?"
"Oh, nothing," she couldn't stop the smirk on her lips as her eyes darted to Quinn's face, "just thinking about things that are considered cheating, that's all."
Quinn looked down at her lap and bit her lip, she knew exactly what Rachel was referencing.
"Oh for fucks sake! Really?! Can you two just stop?" She shook her head in amusement, she'd never thought she'd see the day when her prudish best friend finally uncorked the bottle and didn't stop. "You know what, I'm gonna tell B we'll do lunch on a day when you've got the girls, at least that way you won't be tempted to fuck each other under the table."
Quinn's eyes snapped up, "Santana!"
"Quinn!" Santana laughed, "Don't even try to deny it, the second I'm outta here you'll be all over each other like a cat in heat. Seriously, Berry, why'd you even bother fucking getting dressed?" She suddenly thought better of what she'd just said, "Do not answer that, I'm actually begging you."
"Begging?" Rachel quirked an eyebrow. "Really, Santana, you're just making it too easy for me now."
"I hate you."
"Not enough to hurt me though," Rachel teased.
"I wouldn't be so sure of that, Hobbit."
"Hey," Quinn stepped in, "retract the claws."
"Honestly, Santana, I'm not that short," Rachel huffed.
Santana looked up at the ceiling in despair, she hadn't meant to fall back on old insults, "Fine, I'm sorry or whatever."
"Or whatever?" The blonde pushed.
"Yes, or whatever," the Cheerio stood her ground.
"You suck at apologises, S."
"I don't even wanna know what you've been sucking, Q."
"And that's enough of that," Rachel added hurriedly. "Seriously, how are you two even friends? I'm surprised you haven't killed each other."
"It's not for lack of trying," Santana smirked.
Author's note: Someone needs to make sex ok for Quinn and Rachel given everything they've been through, who better than Santana? Plus, I genuinely love Santana, she's so much fun to write. Any excuse lol I think the next time I update I'll probably do another double/triple (just remembered the next part is kinda spread over three chapters) update so you don't all end up hating me, then again, I might be mean. Erm, questions...oh! US college/uni is 4 years, right? I mean on average. I'm UK based and did my degree in 3 years and that's the average here, as far as I'm aware. Also, 3, 4, or 5 kids? Twins? Bouncing a bunch of ideas around for some things. Also does anyone have any knowledge of Off Broadway and Broadway? I could do with picking someones brain over a few things otherwise I'm going to continue my long standing tradition of bullshitting my way through things.