Make You Feel My Love
~Book III~

Disclaimer: I do not own the Avengers nor do I own the plot of Age of Ultron. All rights go to Marvel.
All I do own are my own characters and their stories.

~Chapter 29~
Dreams

Steve's POV

Life had been hard the past week. Not only were the medias trash talking the Avengers - the only kind of family Steve had left - but Steve was also expected to keep on going; to keep the Avengers together and trained. The Avengers HQ was now officially ready to be used and no more builders were on the premises. So, he was expected to be Captain America again, the leader of the Avengers. Just like Sam had done, Wanda and Vision had both joined. So a true leader was indeed needed to keep the new teammates together; someone to keep them focused on their training and their search for their own MO. Help would probably come after the funeral, though until then, Steve was on his own.

According to Tony's advice, Steve had allowed himself to grieve for the past couple of days, though now, he was expected to come back again. And that was before the funeral which was going to take place in two days.

Things were harder now. Before, after he had awoken from the ice, things had been hard too. He had had nightmares, trouble sleeping and more. But once Maria entered his life, all of that changed. Sure, he still had had some sleepless nights and some nightmares, but they had been less frequent than before.

Now, those problems were all coming back to him again. He had barely slept more than an hour each night, if even that, since Ultron's defeat and the nightmares felt like a mix of memories from the war and memories of Maria and her cold body laying on that beach.

That, and there were these strange dreams of him going to see her body, Mr. Slipper pulling out her body as usual, and then her cold hands grasping his as she called out for him to help her. Those nightmares were the worst ones and he found he always had those, when he would accidentally fall asleep during the night because of sleep deprivation.

Steve depended a lot on people that were loyal to him and seeing those loyal to him were his friends, and girlfriend, he depended a lot on them. Now, the Avengers were of course his friends, but it was different with them, different with Natasha or Tony. They weren't Bucky nor Maria. And neither of them were there by his side now. Of course, Tony had been but he wasn't in the HQ that often due to his duties in his own company. Natasha was away still, apparently doing some last business with Fury, and Sam tried to be there for Steve, though it was different with him too. Both Bucky and Maria were so close to Steve compared to Sam, that even Sam had troubles helping Steve.

He doubted he'd ever get to see Bucky again. Though there was at least still a chance he might. With Maria, there wasn't one, except for the chance of seeing her laying on a cold table, her lips blue and her eyes closed. Or seeing her in the birch casket they'd picked out for her, wearing make-up to cover up her pale skin, a beautiful bouquet of roses in her hands, resting on her stomach…

The HQ Tony had built, which was Steve's new home for now, was one of his father's old storage buildings but renovated, obviously keeping the things his father had left behind in case they'd ever be needed. Things were looking good for the Avengers, even if everyone currently seemed to blame them for the destruction of Sokovia. Everyone, apart from the eyewitnesses that had survived. At least, that's what Steve had heard.

It was the first night the team would spend in the new HQ together as a team and everyone was enjoying a nice dinner together. However, Steve wasn't a part of this dinner. Instead, he was sat on his bed, his back hunched over and his arms resting on his knees. In his hands, he was holding the ring Maria had been wearing around her neck at the time of her death, the ring she had once worn around her finger in anticipation of getting to be called Mrs. Rogers.

"You have no idea how nervous I was-"

"Oh my God. This is what you wanted to ask me yesterday, wasn't it? How long have you been carrying this around?"

"A-A while. I was trying to find the perfect moment to ask you."

"Steve, any moment spent with you is perfect," had Maria said, lifting his hand to her lips and kissing it.

"You know… I'm really happy this happened. Mostly because this is with you and I'm finally finding something in my life that is permanent and good."

"You'd already found something permanent and good. The Avengers. We won't break up. We're like a family every one of us."

"We are. But I can't deny the fact that I'm mostly happy this happened because I won't have to live much longer with my father's name."

(…)

"Honestly, I'm just glad you're liking the name Rogers."

"Maria Rogers… Yeah, I like it."

At that thought, Steve closed his eyes, a wave of nausea and grieve hitting him all at once. He enclosed his fingers around the ring, shielding it from view once he opened his eyes again. It was the only thing he had left of her apart from her bag of clothes she had brought with her to the farmhouse, not having taken a single picture of her during their time together due to their hectic lives, and although it brought him immense pain, it also helped him feel a little better. The thought that he, with the help of the ring, would never forget about her, was enough for him to get out of bed each morning. Besides, he didn't need a picture to remember such beauty; especially not with the super soldier serum enhancing his memory. And especially not because of his drawing skills. He had already sketched several pictures of her from his memory, trying to preserve her beauty as best as he could.

The seemingly loud vibration of a phone made Steve jump slightly, straightening his back slightly and tensing up. His eyes shot around the room, searching for the phone in question, seeing as his, which was laying on the nightstand table next to him, had not lit up. After a while, his eyes landed on the bag Steve had placed in front of his closet, unsure of what to do with it and the clothes that once belonged to such an amazing young woman. Quickly, he hurried over to the bag and opened it, beginning to search the bag for the phone.

He grabbed it right as it vibrated once again, the screen lightning up and showing the red warning for low battery along with a notification for two new messages. Steve furrowed his brow, taking the phone with him as he returned to the bed.

Gently he swiped his finger over the screen as Maria had once shown him, the screen now asking him to type in a password. Again, he furrowed his brow together though quickly typed in the right password, smirking slightly at what it was;

Mater Mortis.

Although she openly said she hated the name the media had given her, Steve knew that she deep inside found it rather cool. It suited her quite well and it did make her sound rather dangerous.

Did.

Steve sighed, opening the app for messages. He raised an eyebrow at the name of the person who'd texted her and quickly went to read the messages.

From: Matty

Problem in HK. Meet me tonight if convenient ~ 3 minutes ago

From: Matty

If inconvenient, come anyway ;) ~ 30 seconds ago

Steve cocked his head to the side, wondering why Maria had never told him about how bold Matt was. From what Maria had told him, Matt was a sweet, caring and quite an introvert guy. Though from the messages he had sent her, it seemed he was rather a flirt.

A flare of jealousy arose inside of Steve to which he frowned. It was a nasty feeling, especially seeing as he had broken up with her. Therefore, he tried to calm himself down by thinking he must've missed something. Perhaps this was an inside joke they made.

Dread filled Steve as he realized that to Matt, Maria was still alive. Matt was walking around, fighting crime both during the day and night, seeing as he was a lawyer of some sort according to Maria, still thinking he would see Maria whenever she would be done with her mission. Most likely, he had heard of what had happened in Sokovia and thought she was free now. And in a way, she was more free now then she would ever have been in real life.

He would have to reply; tell Matt what had happened. And it was the first time he would ever have to tell anyone. The first time he would ever need to utter, albeit he would write it down now, the words.

To: Matty

This is Steve Rogers, Maria's ex.

Steve frowned, deleting the sentence.

This is Steve Rogers, Maria's close friend. I regret to tell you that Maria will no longer be able to reply to your messages. She's gone. Died in Sokovia. I believe you know what went on down there due to the media. I'm sorry you had to get to know like this. I wish I didn't have to tell you at all.

I'm sorry.

With a shaking thumb, Steve pressed the send button and watched as the phone turned his text into a little speech bubble underneath of Matt's previous texts. He was going to put the phone down, search for a charger in her bag in case more people tried to contact Maria, when the phone vibrated again.

Another message from Matt.

What?

Steve let out a breath, his heart aching.

Another message came through.

This isn't happening

Steve quickly replied, truly understanding what Matt must be going through.

It has happened. Her body's currently being held in Hell's Kitchen, 'Slipper's Funeral Home'. The funeral's in two days. You're welcome to come.

The text turned into another little speech bubble, the percentage of the battery now being 8 percent.

The phone vibrated again.

I need to see her.

He quirked his brow at the sentence, remembering quite well what Maria had told him about Matt's eyesight. Then again, if Matt truly was blind, then how was he supposed to be texting?

I don't think that's possible

The phone vibrated again.

I don't care. We'll make it possible.

Steve smirked. This was why Maria liked Matt for sure.

A chilly breeze was lazily slopping against Steve's face as he stood outside of the funeral bureau of Hell's Kitchen, waiting for Matt Murdock to arrive. They had agreed on meeting, Matt apparently having a plan to make it possible for them to see the body one last time before the funeral.

Maria's phone was tucked inside of his pocket, resting neatly next to the ring. He had tucked his hands into his jacket's pockets to keep them from freezing, and he was softly fumbling with the ring, trying to make the angst and pain go away slightly by calming himself down with the smoothness of the jewelry. He had not seen her in a while and he was afraid she might've changed, as dead bodies do. The last thing he wanted was to remember her as less beautiful than she was alive.

A black cab stopped in front of Steve, making him tense up slightly out of habit. Though exiting the cab, was none other than a blind man, wearing sunglasses over his eyes, a long dark coat covering the rather fancy suit he was wearing, and carrying a stick in his right hand. He fumbled slightly trying to get out of the cab, though quickly regained his posture once he was up on his own two feet again. The cab drove away the moment the man had closed the door behind him and the man slowly, carefully using his stick to feel where the pavement was and where he could walk, made his way over to Steve.

"Mr Murdock?" asked Steve, making the man turn his head towards the sound of his voice.

"Mr. Rogers, I presume?" asked the man, stepping towards him.

"Indeed. Mr. Murdock-"

"Call me Matt," said the man, smiling gently. He stood before Steve with the stick held upright in front of him, both his hands on the top of it.

"About your plan-"

"It's gonna work," said Matt confidently, beginning to walk over to the front door of the funeral bureau, knocking on the locked door right underneath the sign telling them both that it was closed.

"You sound very sure of yourself?" asked Steve, following Matt.

"I've done this sorta thing before. With Maria, actually," said Matt, the sound of her name coming from his lips creating pain in Steve's chest again.

"Why does that not surprise me?" asked Steve lightly, earning a smirk from Matt.

The door opened, revealing Mr. Slipper again. As usual, the white mustache on his face made such a contrast that Steve, as always, at first glance thought it was simply the leftovers from a very creamy pastry he had eaten just seconds before opening the door.

It sure looked like that was what the mustache was, anyway.

"What do you want?" asked the red faced man, glaring at Matt before his eyes looked over at Steve. "Oh, not you lot again. Look, I said it before and I say it again! This ain't a place for mourning!"

"No, of course not Mr. Slipper," said Matt, sounding slightly sarcastic to Steve as a response to the man's comment about the funeral home. "But unfortunately, there seems to be a mistake in the official documents of the government and apparently, they missed noting that someone's identified the body."

"What do you mean? They've been runnin' back and forth 'ere all week! Had to throw 'em out so I could work on preparin' the body!" exclaimed the man, obviously irritated. "Besides, we're closed."

"I know," continued Matt before the man could close the door. "And I'm sorry to intrude, but the government has specifically asked me to accompany the one man who can identify Miss Dalton once and for all so that I can note that it's happened."

"And who are ya supposed to be? A lawyer?" asked the man sarcastically, obviously not keen on letting them inside.

"Precisely," said Matt, earning a scoff from the man. "And unless you move aside, I will, on behalf of the government, sue you on a lot of money."

"Sue me?" exclaimed the man. "A lot of money?"

"Yes, Mr. Slipper, now what will it be? A debt to the government which would probably mean you lose your astounded business here, or you take a step aside and let us in?"

The man looked between Steve and Matt a couple of minutes, seeming to try and determine why neither of them were faltering and telling him it was all a bad joke. Though as no one did so, and neither of their serious faces changed, the man's eyes soon filled with panic.

"Alright, alright," breathed the man, stepping aside and opening the door further to allow them entrance. "Don't got enough money to stand me ground… Pitiful really."

The man led the two of them down the stairs into the cooling room. As Steve remembered from his former visits, the man walked all the way back to the second last row before opening one of the metal hatches and slowly, carefully, pulling the metal cot Maria's lifeless body was laying on, out.

"Thank you, Mr Slipper," said Matt. "You can leave us now."

"Leave?"

"Yes, leave. We have some things to take care of here. It'll take no longer then ten minutes," said Matt curtly.

"Yeah, right," muttered Slipper as he turned and walked away from them towards the door. "That's what they all said…"

"Rude man," commented Matt as the door closed behind Slipper.

"I agree," said Steve before their attention was turned to Maria.

She still looked the same. Her face was just as pale as it had been at the beach, the same dark rings around her eyes and the same purple color on her lips. Nothing had changed. Her cheeks had not sunken in, her face didn't look less beautiful…

It was strange, really, how nothing had changed. Steve knew from previous experiences with bodies that they did indeed change, even if they were on ice. This was a rather exceptional case, then again, Maria did have healing powers back in her days. Perhaps, the cause behind those healing powers would be the reason for why her body changed slower than other bodies? Mr. Slipper might've said that he was going to prepare her for the funeral, but seeing as she was still in the white cloth they had put her in after the autopsy, Mr. Slipper had not done any preparations yet. Then again, he did seem like a man who did things in the last minute.

After some help from Steve, Matt managed to find Maria's face. He gently caressed the outlines of her face with his fingertips, his lips turning into a thin line before he let out a long breath.

"I'm so sorry…" said Matt quietly, gently placing a hand on the top of her head, stroking her hair softly. "I know you loved being a part of their team but surely this isn't what you had thought would happen…"

Steve's chest tightened again, looking away from Maria for a short moment. Though, in that short moment, a lot happened. When Steve looked back at Maria's body, Matt had disappeared. It shocked Steve greatly, making him take a step back. Suddenly, the lights seemed to dim and the tight feeling in Steve's chest turned into a sharp pain.

"Captain Rogers, I presume?"

Steve spun around at the sound of the voice, surprised to see an older, bald man sitting in a strange looking wheelchair. He was simply sitting there, a few meters away from Steve with what looked like a calm, collected smile on his face. Though it somehow creeped Steve out. The entire scene creeped Steve out. He knew now that he was back in one of his nightmares. Though what of the past events had been true or not, he was unsure of. And what would soon happen that would lead to him waking up, he didn't know either.

"Who's asking?" asked Steve, the room suddenly turning colder.

"Professor Charles Xavier," said the man with a kind tone to his voice. "I knew Maria when she was still breathing."

"How? She never spoke of you," said Steve curtly.

"No, I assumed she hadn't," said Xavier. "You see, I have some… peculiar powers. I reached out to her as I felt her powers growing. I see myself as one who helps those of my people that become lost. And she was one of those at that time."

"I don't understand," said Steve, shaking his head.

"I'm a mutant. Just like she is," said Xavier, the kind tone to his voice still present. "And I'm reaching out to you now to hand over a message."

"What message?"

A thousand questions were swiveling through Steve's mind though he didn't have time to ask any of them as Xavier gestured to something behind Steve, the coldness in the room become worse, chilling Steve to the bones as he turned around.

Once again, Steve was shocked and fear grasped onto his heart as Maria's dead body suddenly shot up into a sitting position. Her hand reached out to him, grabbing onto his collar as she pulled him close.

She had changed now. Not physically, though. But there was ice on her skin and he could see her shivering, her teeth rattling.

"Help me," she whispered, her voice barely audible and clear pain visible in her eyes. "Get me out of here… Please."

Steve gasped, sitting upright in his bed. For a moment, he still saw Maria's face in front of him and he made a motion to get away from the image, though as soon as he had seen her, she was gone again. The dream was still very vividly in his mind and although these sort of dreams had happened before, this seemed more… real.

Steve was still shivering from the coldness in the room he had been in earlier in his dream, though he was slowly warming up again. The dream had felt different. That man, Xavier, had never appeared before in his dreams and neither had Maria ever seemed so… real.

Fumbling slightly as his fingers were still ice cold, Steve shifted over to the nightstand table, grabbing the phone that once belonged to Maria and quickly unlocking it. In the darkness of his room, the light hurt his eyes, though he paid no attention to that as he opened up the app Maria used to read messages. He needed to know what parts of his dream had been real, and which had not been real.

Opening up the conversation she had with Matty, Steve saw indeed the texts he had sent him to explain what had happened with Maria. Also, he saw the messages Matt had replied along with those in which they made up a plan to go see Maria together one last time before her body would be prepared for the funeral.

We should get there early so that they haven't started their work yet. ~ 3 hours ago

I agree. Seven o'clock? I won't be able to sleep anyway ~ 3 hours ago

Sounds like a plan. I'll meet you at Mr. Slipper's Funeral Home then. Don't be late, Mr. Rogers. ~ 3 hours ago.

It was strange. Steve still seemed confused as to what was real and what was not real. And there was a strange part of him that was aching to go visit Maria. Something about that dream made him wonder… If maybe it hadn't been just a dream. If maybe it had indeed been a message.

Get me out of here… Please.

As promised, a longer chapter for ya'll after that rather short one yesterday :)