Chapter Eighteen

Peeta and I decide to take a few days off to get settled into our new home. During those days, we clean the house from top to bottom, getting rid of the cobwebs and thick layers of dust, and arrange the furniture around the house. We return to school on Thursday, and were unsurprisingly met with whispers and looks from the other students. It isn't often that two teenagers marry before their last reaping, and it is just as uncommon for the two teenagers to be from different parts of District 12.

Despite being married, life hasn't changed too much. The only big change is that I now live with Peeta. The day after our wedding was the most peculiar. Waking up next to a boy was a shock, and I wondered where I was for a moment, before I remembered the events that took place the day before. After an uncomfortable breakfast, Peeta told me he didn't want things to be awkward between us, and that living together wouldn't be so bad if we stopped tiptoeing around each other.

Since then, things have become more comfortable, and a routine has formed. We wake at the same time and I go out to hunt while Peeta prepares breakfast and our lunches for school. I return home with a bag full of game, which I then sort through to decide what to keep for ourselves and what to give to mother and Prim. We eat breakfast together before we go to school, and keep each other company in the cafeteria at lunch. After school, Peeta goes to work at the bakery and I visit mother and Prim before I return home to prepare a meal for Peeta and I. We eat, prepare for bed, and then sleep.

The cycle starts up again the next day.

Today is a Saturday, which means I get to spend most of the day in the woods. I know I must treasure the time I have here, before my stomach grows so big that I am unable to fit under the fence. Once the baby is here, I won't be able to come here as much. The woods have always been an escape for me, a place to get away from the coal dust and starvation that hangs like a dark cloud over District 12. I will miss it.

Morning quickly turns into afternoon as I spend the day hunting down animals that I will later trade at the Hob. I collect herbs and berries that will give our food some flavour and create snares, though they are never as good as Gale's. I often find myself wishing for his company, but I know things will never be the same between us again.

When my lower back begins to ache, I know it is time to leave. I know my limits and I don't want to push my body so hard that I start to feel uncomfortable. I slowly make my way back to the fence, hiding my bow and sheath of arrows in a hollow log as I go.

At the fence, I immediately spot the tall figure nearby. I stop abruptly, worrying that it might be a Peacekeeper, before another glance makes me realise who it actually is. I crawl under the fence, holding my stomach as I go, and then straighten up so I can look at Gale.

"Hi," he starts. "I think we should talk."

"I have things to do," I say, and walk around him as I make my way to town.

"I'll walk with you," Gale replies, jogging to catch up with me.

"Gale," I begin, my tone of voice portraying my annoyance. "I'm not ready to talk to you."

"I don't want to wait any longer, Catnip."

"You don't deserve to call me that anymore," I snap. I glance at him, and immediately spot the hurt in his eyes. I thought seeing him upset would make me feel better, but instead I feel guilty. I look away from him.

"I'm sorry," he says, once he has recovered. "I shouldn't have hurt him. I was just so angry. You have to understand."

"No, Gale. You have to understand. I didn't mean for this to happen. Marriage and children was something I never wanted, you of all people know that. But there is no going back now. This is happening, and you must accept that, and move on."

"I'm sorry about what you had to go through while I was away," Gale says.

"I think losing that baby has made me realise that not everything in this world is bad, Gale. I didn't want that baby, and then just when I was starting to warm up to the idea, it was gone. I looked at it as if it were a bad thing, but it could have been good. Look at Peeta. I'd rather it be him than anyone else. He's a good person, I know that. You have to accept that it's him, Gale, and it will always be him from now on."

"So, it's true?" Gale asks. "You married him?"

"Yes. It was the right thing to do."

"Since when do you do thing just because they are right?" Gale asks.

I stare at him. "Don't question my actions, Gale. It's done. You need to apologise to him."

"I will, but when I am ready," Gale says.

"I hope you are ready soon," is all I say, before I walk ahead of him.

I arrive at my destination not long after. I climb the steps to the bakery, peeking through the window to see if Peeta's mother is working behind the counter. I'm relieved when I find that she isn't, and I walk inside. Peeta's eyes shine when he notices me and he smiles at me from behind the counter as I walk towards him.

"Well, this is a nice surprise," he says, resting his elbows on the counter. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, sure. I just had a little run in with Gale, nothing to worry about. He said that he's going to have a chat with you when he's ready."

"Oh. Okay. So, what are you doing here?"

"I've got some game for your dad," I explain. "I know that he likes the squirrels."

"You're right about that," Peeta says. "How many have you got?"

"Four," I reply.

"And what would you like to trade them with?" he asks.

"Oh, I'm not trading. He can have them for nothing."

"Come on, Kat. We've always traded. How about four cupcakes? One each for your mother and Prim and then two for you?" Peeta suggests.

"Why two for me?" I ask.

"Because you're eating for two," Peeta says, tipping his head towards my protruding stomach.

"If you insist," I reply. "You just want to make me fat."

"You will be beautiful no matter what," Peeta says, his eyes looking into mine. I feel my cheeks heat up, and I quickly look away, hastily grabbing the squirrels from my bag. I avoid his eyes as I exchange the squirrels with the cupcakes.

I adjust my game bag over my shoulder and turn to leave. "I'll see you later," Peeta calls out.

I turn back to look at him. "I'll have supper ready for when you get home."

"I'll bring home some bread."

I nod, and then leave.

My next stop is my old home. I miss spending so much time with Prim, and make a point of visiting every day. I have come to enjoy the conversations mother and I have, and sometimes visit even when Prim is out.

When I arrive, mother greets me at the door before we go to the kitchen, and I sit at the table while mother makes us hot drinks. I place a cupcake in front of her when she sits opposite me and she smiles. "You must tell Peeta how much I appreciate the treats he gives us."

"I will. He is happy to help out. Is Prim home?" I ask.

"She went to visit Rory. She hasn't been gone long. How are you feeling?"

"I'm fine. I don't vomit as much anymore and Peeta always makes sure I am eating big portions."

"I'm guessing that he is treating you well?"

"Of course he is. He's Peeta," I say.

"That's true. I should've known he'd treat you well. He's very much like his father." I nod my head in agreement, and there is a brief silence before mother speaks again. "You're four months along now, is that correct?"

"Yes."

"That's good. The first few months are the riskiest. If everything goes well, you should have a healthy baby arriving in just under five months. Make sure you continue to keep it easy, no strenuous tasks. You'll have to stop hunting."

I nod my head in understanding, and silently hope that it will still be a while before I am unable to go to the woods.

The table is set and the rabbit stew is heating up on the stove when Peeta arrives home.

"Hi," I call out when I hear the front door open. "How was your day?" As I ask the question, I am suddenly reminded of how my mother would greet my father with the same words when he would arrive home from the mines. The only difference is, she would run into his arms and kiss him with so much to passion and love while Prim and I would giggle in the background.

"It was good. We had a lot of customers, so the day went by quickly. It was nice of you to visit."

"I'll make sure to come by more often," I automatically say, and I instantly notice his eyes shine.

I fill our bowls with the stew, and then place it on the table. "It smells good," Peeta says as we sit down.

"Lamb stew is my real favourite," I say. "But rabbit is just as nice."

"I'll have to remember that," Peeta says, before he starts digging in. "Did you enjoy your time in the woods today?"

I nod. "It was peaceful, I like to get away for a while."

"I would love to see it properly," Peeta says. I don't reply, instead thinking if it would be acceptable to take Peeta to a place that I often considered just mine and Gale's. I know he came with me before, the day he suggested we marry, but he didn't get the chance to see much. The more I think about it, the more I decide I would like to share the woods with him. There is so much beautiful scenery in the woods that I know Peeta would love to capture with his paints.

"I picked some berries for us, too. I thought you could maybe use some to make paint," I announce.

"You would want to waste food?"

"It's not a waste if you are going to use them to create something beautiful," I say.

"Thank you, Katniss. That was extremely thoughtful of you."

His obvious gratitude makes me smile with delight. Making Peeta happy, makes me happy. I realise how easy it has been for me to fall into the 'wife' role. I thought it would be difficult, but it feels almost natural.

"I thought you could take some to the bakery also, maybe add them to a recipe."

"I would love that. But Katniss, you do realise you don't have to do these things for me?"

"Peeta, I'm doing these things because I want to. I practically forced you into this-"

He cuts me off. "That is not true. I wanted to marry you. I always have."

I swallow hard at his words. "What do you mean?"

"I have always watched you, Katniss. Ever since the first day of school, that day when you sang in assembly, when you wore your hair in two braids instead of one. I always wanted to speak to you."

"Why didn't you?" I ask, my eyes never leaving his.

"Because, even at the age of five, I didn't want to mess things up. I didn't want to say something to offend you, or-"

This time, I cut him off. "You could never offend me, Peeta."

"And then, as we got older, you were always with Gale and I thought..." He trails off.

"Oh."

"But it doesn't matter. There is still time for us to learn things about each other. That is if you want to. Because there is nothing more that I want, other than getting to know both the little and big things about you."