"You are Doctor Watson's Alpha I presume?"
"Obviously!" Sherlock barked at the doctor before him.
Unfazed by the blatant rudeness, the weary man continued, "I am Doctor Ashford. Doctor Watson is out of surgery and stable for the moment. You can see him in just a bit." He paused and his eyebrows furrowed as he gathered his words.
"Tell me!" Sherlock snapped again. "I have no patience for coddling, nor do I expect any, just tell me what I need to know!"
"And please be specific Doctor Ashford," added Mycroft. "You will find Sherlock appreciates precise information and things will go much more smoothly if that is what he is given."
Doctor Ashford looked back and forth between the brothers for a moment before nodding briskly in acceptance. "Doctor Watson has a severe concussion and has yet to regain consciousness since the accident. However, there is no acute brain injury or swelling of the brain so we do expect him to wake given a little time. We will continue to watch his neurological status closely in the meantime."
With no response from the men at this information, he took a breath and continued. " We were correct about the displaced rib fractures but the lungs are fine. One of the displaced ribs nicked the edge of the liver causing a great deal of internal bleeding which required surgical intervention to stop. Loss of blood affected the amount of circulating oxygen in Doctor Watson's system which resulted in the breathing problems we saw earlier. We will be keeping him on supplemental oxygen during his recovery. A blood transfusion is in progress to replace some of the blood loss as well as fluids to replace lost volume and nutrients for the time being. We will reassess later in the morning to see if one transfusion is effective or if more blood will be required. Doctor Watson will stay in intensive care for a few days but as I said he is stable at the moment. The ribs have been reset and secured as much as possible but healing will take several weeks. Right now the rest is up to Doctor Watson himself." He paused a moment to let this new information sink in before proceeding, "Do you have any questions for me at this point Mister Holmes?"
Sherlock had absorbed the doctor's information in silence but it took a moment for him to realize that the man seemed finished with his catalog of John's condition and treatment. Then less than a moment to realize what had been left out of the monologue and Sherlock sucked in a sudden deep breath as he forced himself to speak.
"And what….what about the…..child?" Sherlock saw the answer in the doctor's face before he even finished the sentence.
"I am sorry Mister Holmes. The miscarriage was already in progress when your mate arrived at the hospital. It was another factor that contributed to the large amount of blood loss. There was nothing we could do to stop it."
Sherlock simply froze at the doctor's words. It was all just too much to process any longer. In the span of only hours he had hurt his mate, learned he was to be a father, then nearly lost his mate and had lost the child he was to have. He was on the verge of shutting down entirely just to cope with overload of information, emotion, and his own thoughts. The two men at his side were the only thing keeping him grounded in the here and now.
Once again Mycroft was invaluable at sensing his brother's need and interceded on his behalf. Squeezing Sherlock's shoulder in reassurance he addressed the doctor. "Thank you for the information Doctor. Will you kindly let us know when Sherlock can see John? I do not think he will be at all reassured until then."
"Oh..yes. Yes, of course. I will have the nurse send for you as soon as he is out of recovery and in his room." Glancing again at Sherlock, who had remained completely silent and lost in his thoughts, the man offered what he hoped might help. "Mister Holmes….if it will be of any comfort to you, Doctor Johnson came in himself to examine your mate and see to the miscarriage. He says Doctor Watson will still be able to conceive….should you…want…..." He trailed off when Sherlock's eyes met his in silence.
Sherlock had heard the man and recognized the name of John's personal doctor but he had no reply to give to the information the doctor offered. Only the barest tilt of his head acknowledged the man's words.
With a tight smile, that was somehow meant as encouraging, and a sharp nod Doctor Ashford left them alone.
Both Mycroft and Greg mourned the loss but neither knew what to say to Sherlock in light of the news, and so just stood, silent support for a few moments. Until once again, Mycroft provided the impetus to move everyone forward.
"Well I shall go and see about arrangements for you to stay with John. Not that it will be a problem as the presence of the bonded partner normally helps speed healing."
Sherlock seemed to snap out of his thoughts at last and nodded. "Yes….thank you again Mycroft. I….I don't think I will be able to leave John's side until he's awake. Or even then for that matter."
Mycroft slipped off to work his usual magic leaving Lestrade to keep an eye on Sherlock. Not that he seemed to need it at the moment, even the Alpha seemed subdued by the news. "Well...I am glad that John is stable and should recover fairly soon," Greg offered to his friend unsure if he would even get a reply.
After a long moment Sherlock replied, "Yes…..yes...that's-That is a good thing." He still stood glued to the spot gazing hungrily at the doors to the ward awaiting the nurse that would take him to John.
"Is there anything I can do for you Sherlock? Do you need me to get anything from the flat for you? I will have to check in with the team but then I can run by the flat. You could have Mrs. Hudson gather up a few things and I would be happy to run them back here for you. Just….well….I mean...just, you know I would do anything I possibly could to help you and John. So you just say the word okay?!" Greg just wanted desperately to be of help to his two friends and there was very little he could do to help either of them.
"Thank you Greg. You really are a good friend. But I know you are exhausted too. We have all had a long night and there is nothing I need that can't wait until tomorrow. Go get some sleep. I will be fine."
Mycroft had returned by this point so Lestrade felt safe leaving Sherlock. "Okay then, I'm off. But I will check in on John tomorrow but text me if there are any changes or anything you need me to bring….Please?!"
Sherlock merely gave him a nod and resumed his wait in silence.
Mycroft extended his hand and smiled a genuine smile at Greg, "Thank you Detective Inspector for being here for Sherlock, and for staying. I know it helped, whether he will ever admit it or not is another story." Mycroft noted a small tremor from Lestrade when he took his hand but made no comment. He met Greg's warm, chocolate-brown eyes with his own and they spoke of a long history of looking after this man they both cared about.
Greg shook Mycroft's hand and smiled in return, "You know thanks are not necessary. Apparently I signed on for this years ago! What else would I do now?"
Even in this situation, Mycroft found himself chuckling softly back, "Indeed Gregory. Indeed! But thank you nevertheless."
Greg nodded in acknowledgement then left them alone in the waiting area. Mycroft gazing after the inspector for a moment before returning his attention to Sherlock. Impatience was catching up to his brother again as he waited to see John. His hands alternated between clenching into fists at his side and tapping in agitation against his thighs while he continued to stare at the doors to the ward. Despite their familial bond and matched intellect, Mycroft could not begin to imagine what was going through Sherlock's mind now. He certainly wouldn't pretend to fathom his brother's emotional state. He had never shared a bond and the intimacies it implied himself so he had no idea what Sherlock was experiencing. Still he tried to offer a comfort to the man suffering silently in front of him.
"I am sorry brother. If there was anything I could….." the words died in his throat as Sherlock focused his stony gaze on him. Mycroft could say nothing more in the face of the raw emotion in his brother's eyes.
Sherlock understood that Mycroft wanted to help but he had no words for his brother. No way to communicate his thoughts now; the entire life he had built with John seemed in chaos, no not even their means of silent communication worked for this.
Their stalemate ended as the doors opened and a nurse appeared. "Mister Holmes? I can take you through now."
Sherlock wasted no time following her and Mycroft moved to join him. The young nurse stopped him. "I'm sorry sir. We only allow one visitor with the critical patients, preferably their mates."
Mycroft fully understood the policies but in this particular instance he intended to use his full authority as the British government and as Lead Alpha for their family. The Alpha rang strong once more as he spoke, "I assure you I will not disturb John, however, I will see my brother settled before I leave."
The nurse, obviously a beta narrowed her eyes as she bristled against his words. Still she nodded her head sharply and turned to lead them both to John's room. Sherlock still did not speak but his hand sought out his brother, fingers closing around Mycroft's forearm and giving a squeeze in thanks. He honestly wasn't sure if he could deal with John's condition alone.
The nurse stopped them outside of a door. "The doctor has apprised you of Doctor Watson's condition?" Both men merely nodded. "We have no way of knowing when he will start to wake. With bonded mates, familiar scents and voices often help. Talk to him if you like, let him know you are here." Smiling encouragingly at Sherlock she opened the door and let them enter.
Even prepared as he was Sherlock couldn't help the deep breath he took when he saw John at last. It seemed like an eternity since he had seen his mate. Sherlock was struck by how small John...His John, looked lying in the hospital bed. Despite his stature, Sherlock never actually thought of John as small in person. Strength, passion and the enormity of his heart were what was always at the forefront of Sherlock's mind when he thought of John. Now all he saw was his injured mate in need of comfort and healing. The mate he was to care for and protect above all else. John lying there in silence was like an accusation of Sherlock's failure again tonight and he shook himself to rid his mind of the thought.
The lights in the room were kept dim and the monitors chimed softly beside the bed. An effort to help the patient sleep and aid healing Sherlock supposed. Even in the low light Sherlock could see how pale John was, all the radiance that was simply John being alive and happy drained away leaving only a ghostly pallor. His breathing still seemed somewhat shallow and quick despite the oxygen tubing in his nostrils but Sherlock knew pain was a contributing factor as well. The paleness of John's face was broken by numerous scrapes and cuts from the broken glass of the car window. Sherlock eyed the IV tubing carrying fresh red blood and fluids to John and took in the vital signs displayed on the monitor. His gaze traced the edge of bruises visible along the edge of the hospital gown and disappearing beneath where he knew they were larger and spread across John's entire torso. He only spared a second's glance further down the bed, not wanting to dwell on those thoughts at the moment, before returning to John's face.
Sherlock didn't even realize he hadn't moved from the doorway during his entire exam until Mycroft softly cleared his throat behind him and coaxed, "I am confident John would prefer your presence closer to him brother."
The reminder was the only impetus Sherlock needed and he reached John's side in only a couple of steps. A metal chair with a poorly cushioned seat was already beside the bed. Sherlock sank into the chair and pulled it as close to the bedside as he could. Taking John's left hand within his own, he lightly brushed his right hand through the coarse hair at John's temple. "John…?" There was no response of course, still Sherlock leaned forward until he could touch his lips to John's forehead. Closing his eyes and leaning his head against John's he whispered into his ear again, "John...I am here John….I'm here..." With another soft kiss, Sherlock sat back in the chair still clasping John's hand in his...and prepared to wait.
Mycroft still stood just inside the doorway observing Sherlock and John. He so often found he envied his brother's relationship with John but not at this moment. There was a cot with pillows and blankets on one side of the room for the patient's significant other but Mycroft doubted Sherlock would even leave the chair where he sat. As the silence dragged on Mycroft thought perhaps he should leave.
"Is there anything else you need brother?" Mycroft questioned at last.
"No….I only need John," was the reply he received.
The depth of emotion in that simple statement made Mycroft's own heart ache in a way few could ever manage. Still he pressed on, "Will you be alright?" A simple question voiced, but between the two of them, different questions are actually heard. "Can you cope on your own tonight?" "Do you need me?"
Sherlock remained silent staring at John and rubbing his thumb across the top of his hand. This went on so long that Mycroft was certain Sherlock had merely withdrawn to his mind palace and would not answer. Turning to leave Mycroft at last heard a reply so soft he might have missed it.
"I don't know." Sherlock's countenance remained unchanged and he did not even look at Mycroft. This did not prevent his brother from observing the subtle quiver of Sherlock's bottom lip nor the slow tear rolling freely down his cheek. His need was clear and Mycroft did not hesitate to meet it.
"I will stay Sherlock," is what was spoken. "For as long as you need me," was heard.
Sherlock did not reply but his entire body seemed to sigh and relax into the chair. Mycroft sent off a quick text to Anthea to inform her of the situation and request a few items be sent along to the hospital. Then, knowing Sherlock would have no intentions of sleeping, he shrugged off his jacket, toed off his shoes, and attempted to make himself as comfortable as he could on the cot as he endeavored to sleep.
Sherlock maintained his vigil throughout the night, moving grudgingly as needed for the nurses to do their work. Suppressing his growls when John moaned in pain at any motion because he knew it couldn't be helped with the rib fractures. He would quickly return to John's side when they finished and reclaim his hand. While Mycroft slept, he continued to brush his fingers along John's temple or cheek following fingers with gentle kisses but he remained silent after first arriving. But as dawn began to break without any sign of John waking, Sherlock's composure began to crack. Pressing his lips to John's ear he finally let the words come.
"I'm sorry John! I'm so very sorry! I'm sorry I forgot, that I failed you...failed as the mate you deserve and drove you away! This is all my fault! I practically drove you into that cab! If it wasn't for me you would have been home safe….you and our child. Our child is lost because of me! I can't lose you as well John!" Actually voicing the loss out loud seemed to break the last reserve of Sherlock's own despair and the tears flowed hot and free. "You have to wake up for me John….you know I don't function without you…..not anymore! I have never deserved you John but you have to wake up and let me start making this up to you! Even if it's impossible, you have to let me try! I love you John! You are the only one...you are everything to me! Please….just please for me….wake up…..come back to me?!" There continued to be no reply from John but Sherlock continued uttering apologies and pleas through the tears until exhausted himself as well.
When Mycroft woke it was to find Sherlock asleep with his head on John's left shoulder over the reassuring sound of a beating heart, dried tears on his cheeks and their left hands still twined together.
They would wait another twenty-four hours before John wakes.