Chapter 17: Dangerous Things

"You didn't have to kill him."

"I'm not having this conversation right now, Dorian," Theo said, wincing as he hauled himself up the rocky incline toward the Eluvian that would lead them back to the Winter Palace. All the things they'd seen and fought through in the Maker-damned Deep Roads, and Dorian was going to harp on him for killing Jerran?

"He renounced the Qun. He was helping us!"

Theo paused. He nodded for Bull and Cassandra to go on ahead through. He crossed his arms over his chest. "I've… been responsible for a lot of deaths since becoming Inquisitor," he said finally. "And I'm trying to be responsible for saving even more lives. So what's this about?"

Dorian glared at him. "You don't get to hide behind your stoicism, Inquisitor," he said. Then his face softened. "You're letting this destroy you. I can't stand by and let that happen, not when you're the man I love." Theo clenched his jaw and swallowed against the sudden lump growing in his throat. "If we dispose of those who've done no wrong, of those who are no longer of use to us, then what makes us better than the Viddasala?"

They hadn't even met the Viddasala yet. He'd faced several burly Qunari fighters and a couple of powerful Saarebas mages. Theo was pretty sure that his spleen was on the other side of his body after taking a hit from a maul that sent him flying across the dwarven ruins. He'd have a nasty bruise, even after downing a healing potion or two, and seeing a healer mage before heading back out. But they'd disrupted her mining operations, and that's what mattered.

"He was dead anyway," Theo finally said. "Maker's balls, Dor, I can't keep living like this." His hand burned and the mark flared and he bit back a yelp of pain. "I don't want to be like her, whoever she is. I don't want to rule over all of Thedas. I don't even fucking care if everyone hates me anymore."

"Everyone?"

"I care if you hate me," Theo said with a sigh. "But Teagan? Cyril? I should just let this Qunari thing happen and let them sort it out."

"Yes, you should," Dorian said, pulling him closer and holding him. "But you won't. Because you can't stand by when there's a threat to the world. It's not in your nature, and it's one of many things I love you for. I just want you to remember who you are, for me; but mostly for yourself."

"I don't deserve you."

"No, probably not," Dorian said with a grin, lightly kissing him. "You need to be seen by someone. We'll regroup."

The Deep Roads had no way for him to know how much time had passed, and even the hazy sunlight of the Crossroads didn't seem to change to mark passing hours. When they emerged in the Winter Palace he looked to the windows. It was dark, and Leliana, who greeted them, confirmed that it was the middle of the night. "The Council agreed to recess for the time being," she said. "Josephine is sleeping; Maker knows she needs it. This has been… hard on her in a way neither of us expected. This may be one of the first times she's in over her head."

They headed back to Theo's chambers, using the secret passages so no nosey nobles could stop Theo and demand to know what was going on. But once there Leliana surprised him. "We'll figure out what to do at first light," she told him, and held up her hand when he tried to protest. "Cullen has the mirror under guard. We have our people securing the Palace. You need to rest, or you will kill yourself."

Theo couldn't argue with her, and she made him a cup of tea as he peeled off his armor. The tea smelled of elfroot, and helped the aching in his side. "I'll send a healer in the morning," she told him, but he'd already fallen back against the bolsters and was drifting off to sleep.

He dreamed of ancient elves and of bright green light, of Magisters and Fade rifts and Qunari and Solas, of all people. When he woke to the pale sunrise he listened, but there were no sounds of invasion or battle. He was sore and tired, but knew it would have been worse if he hadn't slept.

Dorian was awake next to him. "Did you sleep at all?" Theo asked him.

"Some. As long as you did, though. You're going to run yourself ragged, and then what will I do with myself?" He smiled slightly, reaching out to brush Theo's hair out of his face.

"I'm disgusting after all the fighting," Theo told him, returning the smile. He took Dorian's hand and lightly kissed his fingertips.

"I'd rather have you disgusting and alive, than pristine and dead," Dorian told him. He pulled Theo into a hug. "Shh. Just let me hold you for a bit," he murmured when Theo tried to protest. "If the world is going to end, I don't want it to end without having taken advantage of a quiet moment together."

Theo made himself relax and focus on Dorian. Dorian was warm against him, the light buzzing of mana just palpable. Dorian's mustache tickled his ear, and he laced their fingers together and held tight. Their wedding bands clinked together and for a moment Theo was able to ignore the pulsing pain in his hand.

He'd just closed his eyes and was about to let the exhaustion wash over him once more when a sharp rap sounded on the door, and muffled voices could be heard in the hallway. He sighed and slipped out of Dorian's grip and headed to the door. "Probably just Cullen or a guard," he told Dorian, who nodded and snugged back under the blankets.

It was not, in fact, Cullen or an Inquisition guard, but Arl Teagan himself. "Oh Inquisitor, how rude of me to interrupt your beauty sleep!" he snarled in greeting.

Theo sighed and leaned on the doorframe. He looked down at his bare torso with the giant purple and green bruise spreading across his side and stomach. "Good morning to you too, Arl Teagan. And yes, this is a fantastic look on me. Thank you for noticing." The only reason he was glad Josephine wasn't here right now was so she didn't have to have a bout of apoplexy in front of the Fereldan emissary. "How may I help you today, your Grace?" he asked. He kept leaning on the doorframe, arms crossed over his bare chest. Teagan could intimidate him all he wanted, but the man was not coming into his rooms. There had to be some boundaries.

Teagan's face was deep red, almost purple. "It's bad enough that no one thought to tell the Council about the dead Qunari warrior." Theo's heart jumped and he clenched his jaw to keep himself from speaking and revealing anything. "And now Inquisition forces are detaining Orlesian servants!"

"Goodness, Arl Teagan, I never thought we'd see the day you were concerned for the wellbeing of Orlais," Theo drawled. He flicked his gaze toward his windows but of course the heavy drapes were drawn. But he guessed from Teagan's dress that he'd slept far longer than he'd meant to.

"Oh dear, this is embarrassing," Duke Cyril said, appearing behind Teagan. "While I do appreciate your concern, your Grace, waking the Inquisitor may not have been prudent."

"We are of course very grateful that you thought to bring this to our attention," Josephine said, appearing behind Theo. "The Inquisitor and I were just meeting to discuss our strategy." She smiled pleasantly. Clever, how she'd used the hidden passages. "Fortunately I am accustomed to His Worship's states of dress," she added with a wink, and from somewhere deeper in the room, Dorian snorted. "As for our trespassing guest, I can assure you that we have been investigating for the safety of all gathered here; the last thing we wished is to cause a panic. And as for our servants' actions-"

"I shall see to it, with the Inquisitor personally accompanying me," Cullen broke in from where he was sitting, in a chair by the fireplace.

"See, Arl Teagan? We had it under control-apart from my staff giving me the opportunity to dress, of course," Theo said. "Now if you'll both excuse us-"

"That's your problem," Teagan told him, hand on the door. "You think you're the solution to every problem, and you need to be in control of everything. This is why you're a danger to our world."

Theo sighed and closed the door. Any hope of a bath, no matter how quick, and a halfway decent breakfast was gone. He dug for a clean shirt, wincing at the pain in his side. That would have to wait, too. "Tell me everything that's happened since I fell asleep, and then take me to the altercation," he commanded as he worked to lace up his boots and find armor pieces. Most of the buckles were still crusted with dirt and dried gore. There had been no time to have his things serviced. Everything was on hold, something Teagan and Cyril couldn't understand. If only he still had Alexius's amulet, he and Dorian could stop time, fix this problem, and then move forward.

He followed Cullen out to the gardens while one of Leliana's spies handed him a waterskin and a hunk of bread to eat on the go. "Your Worship," an Inquisition servant said, bowing low. The Orlesian servant, elven, didn't. "I only asked where he was going," she said, glaring at the elf next to her He had his arms crossed over his chest and a nasty sneer on his face.

"I was just doing my job," he snapped in retort. "Which was to deliver these wine kegs to the kitchens."

Theo looked at the wine kegs and felt the sour bile rising in his throat. "Let him go," he said quietly. Cullen looked at him but he just shook his head slightly. "He was just doing his job. I'm sorry, ser. We'll see that you aren't punished and that you are compensated for the inconvenience," he said. The elf looked at him suspiciously, before slinking off.

The kegs weren't kegs. They were barrels of gaatlok.

"Commander Cullen, see to it that the delivery is taken care of?" Theo asked. Cullen took a look at him and the expression on his face must have been awful, because Cullen didn't ask any questions. "I apologize for the inconvenience, Duke Cyril," he said as he turned back toward the palace. "We will see to it that the situation is dealt with."

"Of course you will," Cyril said. "I never doubted so."

Theo marched back toward his room. "Smile, Inquisitor, the world is watching," Leliana murmured as she slid up to his side like a shadow.

"I can't smile about this." He stalked the hallways, a thousand thoughts running through his mind.

"They don't have to know that," she said. "They want to watch you crack. Don't give them that satisfaction. I learned that the hard way as a Bard. And if it is any consolation, I gave the same advice to the Warden prior to her going before the Landsmeet to condemn General Loghain."

Theo finally managed to give a halfhearted grin. "That turned out well for her. I suppose you do give good advice. Then again you've been giving me good advice from day one."

"I don't want to lead you astray, Theodane. You've borne the weight of the world on your back for so long."

"Hopefully not for much longer," he said with a sigh as they entered his room.

Dorian was already dressed. Bull, Krem, Varric and Cassandra had joined them all, and were already armored up. Bull had managed to scout out the scene before Theo's arrival, and had found a note confirming the gaatlok was intended to destroy the palace-with the entire Exalted Council in it. "They destroy the palace, they destroy you and save the south. At least as far as the Qunari are concerned," he said. "Sorry boss. They don't know you like I do. To them, you're a dangerous thing that needs to be eliminated."

Maybe I am, Theo thought. He couldn't feel offended, not when his actions had had so many unintended consequences over the last few years.

The note Bull had found confirmed not only that the gaatlok was meant to destroy Halamshiral, but barrels were en route to Denerim, Kirkwall, and even other places in the Free Marches and Orlais. The attack was being coordinated by the Viddasala, who'd set up her staging ground beyond the Eluvians. "The Antaam can't have planned this," Bull said as they headed through the Crossroads. "And they definitely can't condone it. Viddasala's role is to study magical objects and destroy them, not go on some rogue crusade against them."

"Someone's going off their leash," Dorian observed. "Rather makes one question the definition of 'dangerous.'"

Cassandra led the way; Bull took the rear. They passed through yet another Eluvian, and emerged in the ruins of an elven library. Dorian drifted out of formation and stood before a floor to ceiling shelf. Torches burned from sconces on the walls, lighting up the bindings. "I can't read the text," he said. "These are that old." He brushed his fingertips over a spine and drew his hand back quickly. "The damned thing shocked me!" he exclaimed, glaring at the books as if personally offended.

"The ancient elves probably didn't want shemlen like us reading their texts," Cassandra said.

"The amount of knowledge here though…" Dorian said wistfully, fingertips resting on the shelves, just shy of the books. There were shelves upon shelves filled with books, all untouchable and unreadable. "All that's been lost…"

Much was lost to the world when the Veil came down. The ghostly voice echoed in Theo's head and his hand throbbed in time with his heartbeat. Free elves became slaves to the past. Knowledge became a dangerous thing when the faith of the flame took root. Theo knocked his palm against the side of his head as if he could jostle out the voice. The horned ones are looking for knowledge. They would use it to destroy what Fen'Harel began.

Fen'Harel again. What had he started, and how could the Qunari destroy it? What were they even aiming to destroy?

The librarians will protect our knowledge, but you must move ahead and stop the horned ones. We shall protect the knowledge; you protect your world. Prepare it for Fen'Harel.

"If I'm going to protect my world, it won't be as an unwitting agent of Fen'Harel," Theo stated, clenching his aching hand. Everyone looked at him, concerned, but he just shook his head. "Sorry. Hearing things. Elven magic and all," he added, attempting to sound lighthearted as he waved his hand about. He led them deeper into the library, with its torches that never burned low or smelled of pitch smoke, with its dusty books that would never be read.

They came upon the first group of Qunari a few rooms in. Theo took one sentry out with his arrows, and Dorian turned the second into a walking bomb that he detonated when the Qunari turned around and headed for them. Still more came out through an Eluvian, shouting in Qunlat. Cassandra and Bull dove into the fray, doing a dance of hacking and slashing. Theo fired whenever he got a clear shot while Dorian sent in his dark spirits.

One Qunari yelled something about Saarebas and two of them turned on Dorian. Saarebas: the Qunari word for mage. A dangerous thing. Dorian sent out a lightning spell, but they held their shields aloft and the lightning ricocheted off of them. "Help Dorian!" Theo shouted as the two bore down on the mage.

His hand sparked and the mark burned. Buzzing fire coursed down his arm and lit up his palm brighter than any beacon. He turned toward the two Qunari and let the glut of energy flow out of his hand. Green light filled the room, but rather than opening a Fade rift of his own, an explosion of light and energy erupted and threw him back against a wall. The burst of energy blew into the Qunari, searing the flesh from their bones. Theo closed his eyes as the energy burned off, subsiding into the dull ache he'd grown so used to over the years.

When he opened his eyes Dorian was shaking him and Bull and Cassandra were standing over him, concern written on their faces. "You passed out," Dorian told him, holding Theo close to him and brushing his hair off his clammy forehead.

Theo breathed in the scent of Dorian: soft, worn leather, light spice, sweat, and flame. He rested his cheek on Dorian's chest and shook out his hand. "I'm alright now," he said, taking a deep breath and pushing away from Dorian. He shook a little as he got to his feet, but smiled slightly. "Let's find the Viddasala and find out what she wants," he said decisively.

Cassandra and Bull looked doubtful, but Theo slung his bow back over his shoulder and headed for the nearest Eluvian. He didn't look back; he trusted they would follow, but if they didn't he also wouldn't be surprised. The Qunari had called Dorian the saarebas, but Theo had a feeling they'd been referring to him.

They navigated through the shelves and stacks and crumbling pathways,passing the echos of spirits of study and knowledge. Whispers of the past flitted through his mind. Thoughts of a time that had until just now been myth flashed in his head. He held up his hand before another Eluvian, and the glass parted like ripples in a pond.

He stepped through and into the middle of a Qunari camp. Immediately a dozen Qunari spears were trained on him, and Theo held his hands up. "I'm no agent of Fen'Harel," he announced, and his hand sparked violently. The warriors all glared at him, but there was no spite or malice: just calm purpose, waiting for orders.

"Inquisitor."

He looked up to a landing where another Eluvian stood, and before it, a stately Qunari. "The Viddasala, I presume," Theo said with a slight bow, but never taking his eyes off of her. The senior Ben-Hassrath agent was tall and lean, but muscled. Her head was shaved, and a headdress made of carefully woven red rope looped around her horns. Similar intricate ropework bound a huge tome to her shoulder plate, and the hazy sun glittered off the gold accents on her armor. "I do not serve Fen'Harel; the elves' Dread Wolf does not work for the Inquisition, nor us for them," he repeated. "We can talk this through."

She didn't approach. Her sharp eyes flicked toward his glowing hand. "The time for talk never existed, Inquisitor. The Qun allowed you to live when the sky was opened because you had a purpose to serve. It should have ended after that."

Behind him he heard Bull, Cassandra, and Dorian step through the mirror, and the ring of warriors shifted their aim slightly. Theo heard Bull growl low in his throat. "Corypheus had a one-of-a-kind Elven artifact," he told her. His fingers itched to go for his bow, but the warriors surrounding them were poised to impale them if he did such a thing. "The Breach was sealed. It won't happen again; he was destroyed. I saw to it myself."

"Your word is not worthy," she snapped. "You were allowed to go free after your purpose was completed, and that was worrisome enough. That you were revered and celebrated for what you did after? That is a travesty the entirety of the South must pay for."

Theo dropped his gaze to his hand. The energy was pulsing up and down his entire arm once more as he worked to process all the Viddasala had just said. Then he started laughing. It echoed off the stones and cut through the silence of the library.

It wasn't the response the Viddasala had wanted, or expected. She sneered. "Kill him. Then cut off the hand and bring it to the Darvaarad." She turned and the large, heavily bound Qunari mage-Saarebas-standing next to her followed her through the Eluvian. The remaining warriors hefted their spears with one hand, and placed the other upon sword hilts.

Theo couldn't stop laughing at the irony of what she'd said. He felt the pulse of angry power flowing through his entire body and down his arm. He held his hand up, glowing blindingly bright. "You heard the Viddasala," he called to the warriors. "Cut it off!" he cried.

Behind him, Dorian shouted. Bull and Cassandra let out battle cries. But the Qunari warriors didn't get the chance to strike as a blast of searing green energy disintegrated them.

Then the light faded and there was silence.

"That's one way to handle it, Boss," Bull said at long last. "Gotta give you credit for having the balls to laugh at the Viddasala," he added. "Are we going to follow her?"

He didn't know if he was just too tired, or if he'd finally come completely unhinged; either way, Theo couldn't make a decision. Every time he tried to say something the words eluded him. At last Cassandra suggested heading back so they could plan how to dismantle the Dragon's Breath plot, and to better prepare should they meet with the agent of Fen'Harel. Theo agreed and let her lead them. The library was quiet, and they were safe, for now. Safe, until his mark decided they were the enemy, safe until the Qunari went through them to get to him.