What If I Could Change? Chapter 3, a naruto fanfic

LL:I know. I have finally updated! Now it'll take a while for the 4th chapter since I want to write the next chapter for my other fanfic and since I'm almost halfway through my other fanfic I wanna get it done first since I am planning for this fanfic to be VERY long. Anyways enjoy the chapter and

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Chapter Song: Taylor Swift- Safe and Sound

I was walking towards Naruto's apartment after my little chat with the Hokage. The Hokage would have had one of the ANBU carry me there but I was really against it because, well…

Flashback

"Well Hokage-sama, if it's alright with you, I would like to go see Naruto." He nodded at me and said, "Very well, I will have ANBU take you-"

"No! Oh god no!" He looked at me in surprise I looked at him in alarm and pleadingly, "You know how wounded my pride is at this point? I'm an 18 year old stuck in this short body, hell I don't even reach most people's hips! They fucking carried me like I was a tiny brat- granted I am tiny now. The worst thing is I have to actually wait it out until I'm 14 that's almost a decade to wait to get to my original height. You know how demeaning it is to have to actually look up at almost everyone."

At the end of my rant I was already on my knees with a pathetic look on my face and tears at the corners of my eyes. While now the Hokage was looking at me amused as he then said, "I thought you had said that you're bipolarism was caused by your personalities clashing?"

I blinked for a second as I thought about what he said before I said with a surprised tone, "Maybe you're right, I actually wouldn't be surprised if I always will be a bit bipolar, though I don't think it's that much bipolar as to being overdramatic now that I think about it...but still it's embarrassing being this short, even if my body is that of a 5 year old. Hell I used to be as tall as you Hokage-sama." He chuckled for a second before he then said, "Fine then if you insist on not being carried by ANBU I'll just have them shadow you. Now if you want to get to Naruto-kun's apartment then pay attention to the directions as to how to get there. Now first…"

End Flashback

Though the conversation between the Hokage and I was mostly about having a set date to when we would take a trip inside my mind. I was actually thinking of-

'Are you really thinking of having the old fart look through our memories!' Ikari said angrily. I frowned at that as I said, 'Hey, I don't like it anymore than you do, it makes me uncomfortable for someone to know about my worst moments when it comes to my parents and...Sora…, but its like you guys said I have to be able to let down my walls if I want others to trust me.'

'But Emiko, it would be dangerous for him to go through the door to those memories because of the fact that because of the amount of raw emotions it could overload his mind and destroy his brain.' I cringed at that and then I said, 'What if I went in there with him and made it so that the emotions in the memories aren't so overwhelming.'

It was silent before it was Jishin that cut in saying, 'You won't be able to completely cut off the emotional influence of the memories, but it'll be enough so that it won't kill him and he'll only faintly feel what your feeling in the memories...but Emiko, I don't want you to go in there, you'll be watching everything that happened! Everything! Even with what happened to your parents and Sora-'

'Enough...Jishin I know that you don't want me to relive everything that happened and you don't want me to become upset from it, but my memories and experiences made me who I am. I can't ignore that and I definitely can't change it, the only thing I can do is look towards a brighter future and leave the past behind, I can look back at it but I won't dwell on what if's, but I appreciate you concern for my happiness, this is something that I have to do. I need to be able to trust others with my most personal memories and I need to be able to face my past.' At that Jishin was silent as was Ikari and Tatsu before Jishin let out a quiet, 'Fine.'

After that we stopped our conversation as what Jishin said popped into my head, I looked down as I reached a hand into my shirt and tugged on the chain around my neck to see one of the things that I always keep close to me and I've taken off. It was a necklace with a crescent moon and a sun. '...Sora.' I thought sadly before I tucked it back inside my shirt and finally made it to Naruto's apartment.

I finally made it to Naruto's apartment, I stood in front of the door and knocked on it. I heard a couple of thumps inside before the door opened a little tiny crack and a blue eye popped out of it. Then the door was flung open and I saw Naruto there with a bright smile on his face. "Nee-san you're here! Come in." He said in his excitement, he opened the door wider for me to walk through and I looked around his apartment. It was decent enough-small-, but big enough for both of us given our size. I scowled a bit, but then I continued to look around to see that the place was a big mess, ramen cups everywhere and also some papers lying around. I looked at the papers a bit closer to see that he was practicing his writing. Although, I could tell he was trying to clean a bit for my sake, but I guess I'll have to pitch in to get the whole place clean. I turned to Naruto with an eyebrow raised he blushed a bit as he scratch the back of his head in embarrassment and said, "Sorry nee-san I was trying to clean up before you got here." I smiled a bit at him and said, "It's fine Naruto-kun, but we should clean the place up so that way I don't have to avoid stepping on a cup of ramen every time I walk." He smiled brightly as he let out a cheerful, "Ok!"

Looking around I decided to start on picking up all the trash and ramen cups. "First let's start on throwing away all these empty ramen cups." I grabbed the plastic bag that I saw lying around as Naruto and I started picking them all up. I picked up most of it since I was trying to make sure Naruto didn't have to do as much with his leg still injured. It took a long while mostly because I kept finding empty ramen cups in the most oddest of places, like the bathroom.

After picking up all the ramen cups I turned to Naruto and said, "Ok Naruto-kun, how about you pick up all of the papers lying around and put them into a stack on the table and I'll pick up all the clothes lying around." He nodded as we both got to doing our jobs. I got walking around and picking up all the clothes that were lying around the apartment and put it all into a pile on the floor of his bedroom, which didn't really have much other than a bed and a couple of other things lying around. The pile of clothes that I got together was kind of not what I was expecting, they were a bunch of clothes lying around but they weren't that many now that I looked at them. I had my suspicions but the only way to know is to check his closet.

I walked towards his closet to see that it was completely empty. I glanced back at the pile and looked through it to see that it only had 3 shirts, 2 pairs of shorts, 2 pairs of socks, and a couple pairs of underwear. My eyebrows furrowed as I kept thinking. I called out to him as I finally came to a conclusion, "Naruto-kun can you come here for a second?" I heard a pair of feet as he stumbled toward where I was. As he came to where I was. He walked in and said curiously, "Yeah nee-san?"

"Are these all the clothes that you own?" He looked towards the pile as he then nodded to my question, which worried me a bit considering the fact that he owned such little clothing. "Uh, don't you think you should have more clothes, you know?" He looked a bit nervous now as he looked down and fiddled with the end of his shirt as he said, "Well I needed more clothes but lots of the stores kick me out before I can buy anything." I sighed a bit from the anger I felt building up in my chest and then said, "Then I guess we'll have to go out and buy some clothes today since I need some as well, but first we should clean a bit more before we leave."

He seemed a bit surprised and happy then he was a bit sad probably since we have to clean, but nevertheless he nodded and we cleaned up the place till it was clean and thankfully I managed to find some cleaning products. Now not only did it look better the place definitely smelled was in a bit of awe as we looked at the product of our work, "Wow nee-san the place is so clean!"

"Yeah well I couldn't have finished this fast if only one of us cleaned, you did a good job of cleaning too. We make great teamwork." He beamed up at me from my words and then I heard a loud growling sound, I blinked in surprise and looked around to see where it was coming from. It wasn't until I looked to Naruto to see him holding his stomach sheepishly that I realized that the growling had come from Naruto's stomach. I felt my mouth twitch at that and then I said teasingly, "Naruto-kun, are you hungry or did that growling noise come from some pet of yours that I don't know about." He scratched the back of his head as he mumbled out, "Um, I'm actually really hungry nee-san, can we get something to eat?" He looked up at me with bright blue eyes and I felt whatever self control that I had thrown out the window and I gave into one of Jishin wants. I reached out and hugged him to my chest and I surprisingly squealed out, "You're so adorable Naru-kun!"

He blinked and then said, "Um, nee-san I'm still hungry." I let him go and said, "Fine let's go get something to eat." He grinned and rather excitedly said, "Come on nee-san I know an awesome place and they're the best ever!" He grabbed my hand as he went to drag me when he suddenly cringed, I frowned as I realized he ended up moving his leg too suddenly. I turned away and crouched a bit as I said, "Come on get on my back." I felt him as he jumped onto my back, I made sure his arms had a good grip on my neck and made sure his legs got a grip on my waist so I could use my hands. We walked out the door as we went out into the streets and Naruto excitedly pointed out where to go. When we got there I could already tell without looking where we were, Ichiraku Ramen. We walked in to see an old man and a younger girl about my physical age behind the counter.

I carefully put Naruto down on the stool and said, "Hey jii-san! One miso pork!" He smiled at him as he said, "Coming right up Naruto-kun." I blinked for a second before I felt a bit of amusement as I thought, 'You never do change do you Naruto even back when I thought this place was just fiction you'll always be a bright little determined brat who loves ramen.'

"Come on nee-san sit down and have ramen. It's really good!" I sat down next to Naruto and looked over curiously sadly the counter barely reached the center of my chest so for Naruto it came to about his neck.

"Well hello there and welcome to my stand. I'm Teuchi and what would you like young lady?" I looked up at the old man to see him smiling at me I nervously said, "Uh, my name is Emiko and I'd like the same please." He gave us one last smile before he and who I'm guessing is Ayame well in back to get the ramen.

It was pretty quiet as Naruto just started rambling about how much I'm going to love Ichiraku's ramen and in no time Teuchi came back carrying 2 steaming bowls of ramen. I sat up straighter since I am really curious if the ramen is as good as Naruto makes it out to be since he's pretty obsessed with it. He put down the bowls in front of Naruto and I. Naruto immediately started digging into his bowl while I stared at mine, 'It smells delicious!' I felt my mouth water a bit as I picked up the chopsticks and started to dig in with as much vigor as Naruto.

'I didn't notice how hungry I really was until now and while I do enjoy eating ramen, but I've never tasted anything as good as this. This isn't ramen this is heaven!' I paused in a realization of horror, 'This stuff is addicting and knowing Naruto he'll always want to eat Ichiraku and while I love the ramen I also know that eating ramen all the time no matter how good, can't be healthy if that's all he eats.' I nodded in thought as I sadly came to terms to the fact that I'll have to make food so that Naruto is better fed. In no time my bowl was empty and I turned to Naruto to see 3 more bowls stacked next to him, 'Where does he put it all?' Naruto then turned to me as I said, "Well Naruto, we need to get going before it gets late, so that we can buy the things we need." I turned to Teuchi as I took out the money pouch the Hokage gave me and said, " How much for the ramen?" He shook his head as he smiled softly and said, "It's on the house." I looked at him in confusion as he leaned in a bit and said, "Consider it a thank you for taking care of Naruto-kun." My eyes widened in surprise before I looked at him in understanding before I nodded to him. I turned to Naruto who was still sitting on the stool. I turned my back to him and said over my shoulder, "Come on Naruto-kun we have things to get." I made sure he was secure on my back before we walked out with a wave towards Teuchi and Ayame.

"So which way is the grocery?" I could feel his emotion bubbling happily at my words as he started guiding me. We got to the grocery and I walked in to see the woman behind the counter in front look up with a friendly smile until he caught sight of Naruto then her expression went sour and she had a scowl on her face. At her reaction I glared at her as I stood up a bit straighter to make myself look bigger, which didn't work much. Though I did sent out a bit of fear as I glared at her and her eyes strayed towards me again, she paled a bit and I knew I got my message across, 'Mess with him you mess with me.' Usually back in my world I almost never used my ability to influence emotions but with the way people are acting I had no choice but to influence their emotions enough to where they should have a good reason not to aggravate me. In fact I hate my ability to influence emotions and while my appearance wasn't very intimidating I knew the emotions I sent out to her gave her reason not to try anything.

I kept walking as I went throughout the store and bought a lot of food and with everything I got I made sure to get the price and add it all up in my head cause no doubt the woman will think that I'm a child who can't do very good math and will try to overcharge me. I felt something shift on my back and I blinked in surprise as I forgot that Naruto was on my back. I furrowed my eyebrows at that, while I know that I'm definitely stronger than the average 5 year old Naruto still felt too light which means he definitely isn't getting enough to eat.

"Nee-san?" I turned my head a bit and looked at him from the corner of my eye as I said, "Yes Naruto-kun?" He shifted a bit before he said, "Can we get more ramen?" I frowned at him before I shook my head and said, "Sorry, but ramen isn't very healthy to eat all the time." He opened his mouth to protest but I cut in before he could say anything by saying, "While I understand that ramen is your favorite food it's not very healthy and can cause your body to not grow normally because you're not getting all the foods that you need. Also you want to be a ninja right?" He nodded his head slowly, "Well you can't be the best ninja if you aren't healthy and strong and to do that you need to eat something other ramen...but if it makes you feel any better I do know how to make food that is both delicious and very healthy." I could feel his disappointment and I could feel him pouting on my back, "Also you should always keep an open mind when it comes to trying new things. Who knows maybe I'll make something that you'll love just as much as ramen?" Even though I could tell he didn't like it he still grudgingly nodded his head. I looked around the store when I saw something that caught my eyes, mushrooms. I felt my mouth water a bit at it. You see when it comes to the others in my head and I we all have preferences Ikari is surprisingly sweet food, Jishin likes spicy food, and Tatsu likes anything bitter, but I love mushrooms. While most people feel like mushrooms don't have much flavor I love them because they can go on almost any kind of dish. Unfortunately eating too many mushrooms can be worse than eating too much ramen so I only got a small amount to last me the week.

After I finished gathering everything that we would need for a more balanced diet I walked towards the cash register. The woman there kept her eyes down as she rung up everything after she rung up the last of my things she glanced up for a second to say, "That'll be 1,120 ryo." I nodded as I reached for the money, since from my calculations that was about right. I put down the money and took the bags in my hands and walked out. As Naruto and I walked towards the apartment I noticed we were both getting stares and it wasn't until I saw my reflection from a window.

I, a 5 year old was carrying a 3 year old and multiple bags that were no doubt heavy. I felt like smacking my head against the wall at this point. I keep forgetting that I'm physically a 5 year old but I'm also definitely stronger than a normal 5 year old.

'Nice going idiot. We're trying not to stand out this isn't making things any better.' Yelled out Ikari. 'We can't do anything about it now we might as well get to the apartment as fast as we can and ignore everyone, but also at least make it look like were struggling with all the weight.' Said Tatsu. I mentally nodded at them as I slumped my shoulders more and furrowed my eyebrows as if I was concentrating on carrying all the weight. Naruto was chatting away the whole time while he was on my back. It's not like I minded he wasn't very heavy for me with the strength from my older body he was easy to carry.

We got back to the apartment and put away everything before we went out to get clothes for Naruto and I. We walked as Naruto directed me towards the clothing store. I walked inside and past the man at the counter as he just glared but didn't say anything as I glared at him back. I looked through all the different clothing on the racks. I decided to get some clothes for Naruto first since he needed it more than I did, I don't mind having a little bit of clothes.

I stood in front of the rack and turned my head a bit towards Naruto to say, "Which shirts do you want Naruto-kun?" He looked up at me as I felt hope building up in him as he said, "...Can I really pick whatever what I want?" My eyes softened a bit from his emotions and I softly said, "Of course Naruto as long as it's not yellow or orange, no offense but those are my least favorite colors." He pouted a bit and said defensively, "Hey what's wrong with orange?" I looked at him blankly and said, "Orange is too bright and I dislike bright colors that bright. Especially if you plan on being a ninja, colors that bright would get you killed if you were trying to stay hidden." He pouted but didn't argue with my logic and as I felt his disappointment I felt a bit of guilt, "...Fine you can have one orange shirt if it makes you feel better." He immediately brightened and so I grabbed an orange shirt from the rack. We spent the next minutes picking out more clothes for him and after I was satisfied with the amount of clothes he had I picked out clothes for myself, but with the amount of money I had left I wasn't able to get much only enough so that I had 8 pairs of clothing and a pair of shoes, so that I had a pair of clean clothes everyday and an extra pair for laundry day.

We went up to the counter and paid for our things. The man at the counter didn't say anything as we went up and he rang up all the clothes that we had and after I did all the calculations in my head and made sure it was the correct price we left. As we walked I could feel as Naruto kept shifting on my back after a while I finally said, "Naruto do you mind not moving so much." I could feel his impatience as he continued to fidget and he said, "Sorry nee-san even though I do like you carrying me I really want to walk around."

I looked at him blankly as I said, "You can't exactly do that with a broken leg Naruto and I'd feel more at ease if you didn't walk around so much since you can end up making your injury worse." We finally made it back to the apartment and I put Naruto down on his bed so that i could put up his clothes and mine. I looked out the window to see the sun started to set. 'Hm, I could start on an early dinner...but what would I make?"

"Oh, make Mala soup!' Yelled out Jishin, I frowned at that and Ikari said, "You idiot that's too spicy for Naruto and it'll numb his face." I felt Jishin pouting as I started thinking more on what to make. I shrugged as I just decided to make some rice and seared tuna with spinach and some root vegetables. It didn't take long for me to finish making it and by the time I was finished the sun was already gone. I decided to see how Naruto was doing since he's been quiet the whole time I walked in his room to see him fast asleep on the bed.

"Aww, he's so adorable!" Said Jishin as I could feel the other two silently agreeing with her, even I had to admit the kid looked adorable with a content smile on his face and the whiskers. I felt my heart warm a little at seeing his like this and felt a small soft smile spread on my face. I walked towards the bed as he slept, 'It's a shame I'm going have to wake him up.' I thought. 'Even I have to admit the little brat is cute when asleep.' Ikari grudgingly admitted a bit fondly.

I shook his shoulder a bit to wake him up, "Naruto-kun if you don't wake up dinner's going to get cold." He opened his eyes a bit as he was still a bit out of it from his sleep. "Nee-chan?" I ignored the change in honorifics for the moment as he sat up and rubbed his eyes and yawned. He blinked up at me for a second before he smiled as I felt him full of happiness as he said, "So it wasn't a dream!" I stared a bit blankly at him after he said that. '...I did not realize we were so...similar. While I knew we both felt a great amount of loneliness, we both also dreamed about a happiness we both felt we could never enjoy outside our dreams.' I felt a storm of emotions building up in me the more I thought about it. "Nee-chan?" I was thankfully was snapped out of thoughts, 'That'd be bad. Usually unless I keep a clamp on my emotions I end up projecting my emotions when I show them on my face.' I focused on Naruto to see him looking at me curiously with his head tilted to the side.

I gave him a small smile to reassure him as I said, "Come on Naruto-kun if we don't eat now the food will get cold." He nodded at me as he got to the edge of the bed and I felt a bit worried as I said, "Are you sure you should be walking on that leg?"

He gave me a determined look and said, "Don't worry nee-chan I can't do it and it doesn't even hurt as much." I felt a bit surprised to see the amount of determination I was feeling from Naruto, I mean I always knew he was determined but this amount and just because he wants to prove himself to me.

I shook my head at him as I walked towards the kitchen to fill a plate for Naruto and I. I made sure to add extra on Naruto's plate since he really was too thin for a child his age. I set the Naruto's plate down as he sat in his chair. He looked at the dish a bit curiously, but then scrunched his face as he caught sight of the vegetables.

"Nee-chan it smells really good...but do I really have to eat the veggies?" He asked. "Of course Naruto that's if you want to get taller, because to be truthful you're really short for your age."

He gave me a small glare at that as I felt a bit amusement from his reaction. "Just you watch nee-chan imma grow taller than you!" I felt my eye twitch and I said, "You wish." The thing was he was going to end up getting taller than me since my previous height was 5'2 and he grows to be about 5'6 I think. I dread for the day that I have to look up at Naruto.

After dinner we started getting ready for bed and since there was only one bed we had to share it, not like it was a problem the bed was big enough to fit the both of us, but in the future we'll have to buy either another bed or move into another apartment since eventually it'll get cramped with the two of us here. We both laid on the bed as I slept on my back and Naruto curled up next to me. I stared blankly at the ceiling as it was silent until Naruto said, "Nee-chan?"

"Yes Naruto-kun?"

"...Nevermind."

I turned my head towards Naruto to look at him as he was fidgeting with his hands. I frowned as I said, "Naruto-kun whatever it is that you wanted to ask me you're free to ask." He looked up at me with bright blue eyes, "Did you have a family?" I felt my chest ache a bit from his question as I swallowed and said, "Yeah."

"What was it like?"

"I'm not really sure what a family is like Naruto, I loved my parents, I would do anything for them even if it made me sad but...our family wasn't like a normal family."

"What happened to them?"

"...They wanted to do something bad so...I had to leave."

"Oh"

That was the end of our conversation as we stopped talking. I had closed my eyes halfway through our conversation so that the burning sensation behind my eyes would go away. I felt as Naruto cautiously wrapped his short arms around me. I stiffened for a second at the unfamiliar gesture after a second I relaxed and it made me wonder for a second if he could sense my sadness even though I had a clamp on it right now. As I drifted to sleep with Naruto hugging me I felt the ache in my heart lessen just a bit.

My eyes snapped open as I was abruptly awakened when I felt in the corner of my mind a tornado of emotions. It felt like a...nightmare, but not mine. I looked over next to me to see Naruto curled up, his eyes were wildly moving back and forth behind his eyelids as he if he were searching for something and he was whimpering in his sleep. I could feel as he felt panic, fear, pain, and so much loneliness. My eyes widened as I thought, 'What do I do?!'

'Wake him up idiot! His dreams might get worse.'

I took a calm breathe as I shook Naruto's shoulder gently, his eyes opened and I saw as they were filled with fear and pain. I felt my eyes soften as I looked at him, I sent out a wave of calmness so that he was more able to shake off the emotions that came from his nightmare. I waited for a second before I said, "Naruto-kun are you ok?" I watched as he looked as me and gave me a smile a bit too wide and a bit too strained as he said, "I-I'm fine nee-chan!"

"You know Naruto-kun it's not good to hide behind a smile when you're feeling sad...Do you want to talk about your nightmare?" His smile faded away as he looked at me and then he buried his head into my shoulder. I tensed up for a second before I relaxed again as I felt Naruto start shaking. I laid there as he started sobbing into my shoulder and he he wrapped me in a desperate hug as if he were afraid I were to disappear. I waited as he let out all the tears, 'How come you don't calm him down.'

'It wouldn't do him any good if he didn't let all the emotions out. If I calm him down and don't let him cry he'll just keep all those emotions in and never let them out.' I thought to Tatsu as I lifted my hand and hesitantly started rubbing my hand up and down his back in what I hoped was soothing.

Eventually his shaking lessened I repeated, "Do you want to talk about it?" With his head in my shoulder he shook his head. I sighed and sat up, Naruto had to move his head from my shoulder from me sitting up and I saw as he looked at me curiously with red puffy blue eyes and snot coming down his nose. I took the edge of my shirt and wiped his face and then I leaned back so that my back was on the wall. I looked at him and motioned him over to me. I had him lean back so that his back was to me and I pulled him towards my chest. I made sure he was comfortable before I relaxed and then I started thinking, 'What do I do now?'

The voices in my head all offered their own options and I decided to go with Tatsu's idea. I took a deep breathe and started humming the first song that came to mind. I felt as Naruto relaxed and I heard as his breathing got slower I could tell he was getting sleepy now, "Nee-chan...thank you." I pause in my humming and then continued then he was eventually fell asleep. I stayed awake for a while to make sure that Naruto didn't get another nightmare.

'Emiko.' Said Jishin calmly that made me pay close attention to what she was going to say. 'Yes?' I could feel as Jishin was about to speak only for Tatsu to say, 'We're already so attached to him…'

'Yeah we are.' I thought calmly but I was feeling so many things, mostly panic. '...We can't let anything happen to him.' Said Ikari dead seriously.

'I'm not going to lose him.' I thought as I tightened my grip on Naruto a bit. 'I'm going to protect, even if it costs me my life...I'm hoping you all agree with me?'

'Dumbass question. Of course we're with you.'

I felt as Tatsu and Jishin nod and I felt a burst of determination as I looked down at Naruto and thought, 'I won't let be alone anymore and I won't let anyone hurt you.'

'If anyone does I'll rip their organs out.'

I felt as Tatsu, Jishin, and I all had a deadpan expression as we all gave accusing stares to Ikari. 'What?'

'You ruined the nice moment that we had!'

'You just had to make a organ ripping threat didn't you?' We all shook our heads at Ikari as she scowled at us.