When Loki calls Alexi back the day after Frigga's memorial, he tells him they need to talk about his past. That it will not be an easy conversation. Alexi suggests they meet in the square under the ash.
Loki is ten minutes early because he cannot sit still in the house and he thinks a book in the park might help. He brings Wilkie Collins with him, but not even "The Moonstone" can keep his interest for longer than a few moments. He gives up after reading the same page four times. He still does not know what happened on it. He checks the time on his phone. Five minutes and Alexi will arrive. He fiddles with the edge of the book. A familiar car pulls up and Loki's heart pounds just a little harder.
Loki rises to greet his guest and they hug, then sit, "So...you probably just want to get to the tough stuff, don't you?"
"Yes. I would like that."
"OK. Shoot. What's bothering you?"
Loki starts from Thor's coronation. He cannot make eye contact as he tells his story, so instead he stares at the ground beyond his book. Alexi holds his hand, even when the details are horrifying. The fall from the Bifrost, Thanos, the Chitauri. New York. And after, the dungeons, the creature that broke free, Frigga's death, and Svartalfheim. Being stabbed through. Death and whatever freed him from it. The throne. Being caught. Being cast out. Trying to die. Wanda. And there he ends, waiting.
"Oh my god. That's...that's rough."
"To put it mildly, yes."
"I can't even...I don't know what to think, Loki. You tried to take over our entire planet."
"A foolish endeavour, for certain. But my other option was a long and tortuous death. At least death in battle would have been quick. Had Asgard stepped it, it would have been assured."
Alexi sighs, "I think I need a little time to think about all this. To really take it in."
Loki's heart sinks and he knows his face shows it, "Oh."
"This isn't saying we're over. Please don't think that." He takes his hands, "But I don't know how to even fathom this. Some of this stuff...I tend to forget you're not from around here. And that anybody could do what's been done to you to somebody...I just can't imagine. I need to let this simmer so I can really get it." Loki does not know how to respond, "Just a few days. Then I'll call. I promise."
He takes a deep breath and exhales slowly, "A few days. Alright."
"I'll call. Don't worry." He kisses Loki's cheek and leaves.
Loki does not know what to think. He tries to shut down his mind, to focus on his book, but instead, all he can think of is that Alexi will call, yes, but it will be to tell him that they are over. This hurts immensely. He wants to call Wanda, but she is out of contact with the Avengers. He instead goes to Magda's door. She answers and invites him in, worried by the look on his face. She walks him to her couch and drops beside him.
"I told Alexi who I am. He said he needs time to think. He will call in a few days."
"Oh, darling, you were so brave to tell him."
"Yes, and because of it, now I think I may have lost him."
"Did he say that?"
"No. He said not to think such a thing, but that he would call. I am afraid of what conclusions he will draw in this time, though. I shouldn't have said anything."
"You need to be able to be honest with a lover, Loki. The same way you are with Wanda and I. There cannot be such things between you that make you afraid of speaking about your past or your family. You needed to speak. Alexi will either choose to accept you as you are, or to not. You cannot change this. And you do not want to stay with someone who will not embrace everything you are and accept that you have done what you have done."
"But I want him to. I really do..." A few tears sneak down his cheek and he hastily wipes them away.
"I know. You care for Alexi deeply. And I hope he will come to terms with what you have said quickly. What can I do for you while you wait?"
"Can you make hot chocolate?"
She smiles, "Of course. Would you then like to stay up late watching terrible movies? Tomorrow is Sunday. Neither of us work."
"I think I would like that very much."
"Good. I will make popcorn."
"At some point, we might have to make supper. There are leftovers from yesterday in my refrigerator."
"When we are hungry, we will go get them. For now, though, we will eat snacks."
"Magda?"
"Yes, Loki?"
"You are a very good sister."
She smiles, "You're a wonderful little brother, too. Even though you are a few centuries older than me."