V. Not all those who wander are lost

All that is gold does not glitter,

Not all those who wander are lost;

The old that is strong does not wither,

Deep roots are not reached by the frost.

From the ashes a fire shall be woken,

A light from the shadows shall spring;

Renewed shall be blade that was broken,

The crownless again shall be king.

- JRR Tolkien

Rachel

In the helicopter taking her back to the island, Rachel doesn't speak much. To avoid making conversation with her compulsory guest, she pretends to be lost in contemplation of the vast sea below them. She is upset, because Ferdinand was right about the board of directors meeting. She can't even say it all went badly : people were overall happy to welcome her as new head of Neolution. However, they asked to take Ferdinand with her on the island, officially to help her in her task. Unofficially, to monitor her. Again. That feeling of being trapped in her own life, deprived of her free will, makes her so angry it hurts. She takes a quick look at the man who has not been able to wipe the smug look off his face for a week now. If she had a gun, a knife, or even a little spoon, she could definitely jump Ferdinand right now and kill him. Even if she is pretty sure he would enjoy his own death as long as it is Rachel who gave it to him.

The only thing that stops her from screaming in frustration is to look at the sea. The dark water is everywhere below, in constant movement, terrifying and hypnotizing with its dangerous grace. When she looks at the horizon, there is no difference of shade where the water and the sky meet. Sombre and threatening, a winter storm is coming toward them. She can already feel the wind strengthening through the vibrations in the helicopter's cabin. The weather seems connected to her, offering to honor her rage. At least it forces Ferdinand to gradually lose his victorious smile and replace it with a frightened pout.

A few minutes later, the pilot asks them to fasten their seat belts. With a calm and professional voice, he tells them that they are going to encounter heavy turbulence, although they will be landing in fifteen minutes as expected. Ferdinand's face is grey now and glowing with sweat, making Rachel laugh. When the helicopter lands on the beach, Ferdinand almost jump out of the cabin, too happy be back on firm ground. He helps Rachel to quickly disembark, his whole body electric with joy when their naked hands finally touch. She shivers with distaste, nevertheless remembering she has not found the time yet to relieve her lust. She releases his hand quickly before he can sense her problem, and puts on the hood of her coat in order to avoid eye contact.

The snow falls in large flakes , preventing them from seeing anything more than one meter in front of them. The strong wind whips their bodies like frozen straps, and the five-minute walk to the house soaks them. When they finally reach front door, Delphine opens to them quickly. After the long journey and the last exhausting walk, Rachel feels almost happy to see her. Well, almost.

After barely cordial greetings, Rachel finally gets rid of Ferdinand so she can look for her daughter. It has been almost ten days since she has seen her. She finds her asleep in Sarah's arms in the living room. Rachel notices Sarah tightening her embrace around the baby's small body the instant she sees her enter the room.

"You brought Ferdinand."

It's not a question but an accusing statement. Sarah's eyes are full of rage. For one long second, Rachel feels like she's going to have to fight to take her daughter back.

"I had no choice."

"There is always another choice."

"Not always, Sarah."

"I thought you wanted Swan safe!" Sarah's tone is low and threatening, she stands up on trembling legs and approaches the blond woman, her stride so fierce Rachel takes a step back.

"Anyway, I was about to put her on her bed for the night."

There is resignation tainted with pain in Sarah's last words. Like a soldier surrendering, with great care, she lays down the sleeping baby in her mother's arms. Before Rachel can leave the room, Sarah grabs her arms firmly and leans to her ear to murmur :

"Never let him touch her. Please."

She doesn't loosen her grip until Rachel's eyes meet hers.

"Get your hands off me, Sarah."

Her voice does not come out as threatening as she would have wished. Sarah leaves the room, bumping into Ferdinand on her way. The man is standing on the doorstep, a look of complete bliss on his face.

"This whole island adventure is going to be so much fun!"

The only thing that prevents Rachel from murdering him is the sleeping baby in her arms. She turns around violently and mutters in a low, cold voice :

"Get out of my sight."

She goes downstairs with her daughter's warm body against her, too happy to escape the man's irritating felicity. Swan's bed has been moved back into her bedroom. Rachel notices a mobile made with origami paper cranes, just overhead the baby's bed. The birds gracefully dance above them. She puts Swan in her bed, gently kisses her pale forehead, and gazes at her for awhile, smiling. Peaceful. Complete.

A small noise brings her back to reality. She raises her head to discover Sarah watching her from the doorstep. Her eyes are red and brilliant and her trembling body betrays a certain nervousness. After closing the door carefully, Rachel rejoins her.

"Thank you for taking care of my daughter." She really wishes she could have said I'm sorry for bringing Ferdinand instead.

"There is something you need to see." Sarah's tone is feverish.

Sarah leads her in front of Susan's office door. Somewhere in her brain, she can feel Delphine's I-told-you-not-to-tell-your-sister-about-the-videos, dissatisfied, mother-like look on her. Before entering the room, she looks straight into Rachel's eyes and glares at her. There is pain, anger, and a bit of pity in that look that makes Rachel shiver and understand what all of this is about.

"Why?" Rachel's voice is low and unsure. "Why did you open that door?"

"Do you know what's inside?"

"I can imagine. As I never found them anywhere else."

"I've watched them." Sarah chooses that moment to open the door and quickly enter the dark office.

"You…What?" Rachel follows her inside and closes the door violently, plunging them into almost complete darkness for a few seconds. "Why did you do that?" Her voice is full of rage. She barely hears Sarah's whisper:

"I'm sorry."

She finds the switch and turns on the light. Sarah is standing miserably behind Susan's large desk. As if a mere desk could save her from Rachel's anger.

"I am sorry. Really-"

"You had no right Sarah!"

"I know."

"Do you know how it feels to be monitored your entire life?" A mad laughs escapes her red lips. "Of course you don't." She approaches the desk and snaps in a low, threatening voice : "Sarah Manning. The lucky clone with a free life. The one who escaped DYAD's grip!" Her eyes are brilliant with tears. "But I am sure you can imagine how it feels to be under control your whole, fucking, life." Sarah is petrified, she has never seen Rachel so angry, so out of her mind. "And do you know what's even worse?" She fixes her eyes on Sarah, whose legs are shaking so violently that she has to grip tightly onto the desk for support.

"Answer me !"

"No."

"Knowing that my supposedly dead mother was watching me the whole time. That's what's worse. Until now I hoped the videos were simply somewhere in the DYAD Institute. But thanks to you, Sarah, I now have the proof that my mother knew what they did to me the whole time. And that she didn't try to stop them."

"I'm sorry."

"I don't need your pity."

"I understand now." Sarah's voice is not more than a whisper.

"You understand why I am who I am? You needed to watch those videos to be sure?"

"No. I understand the hate you always felt for me in particular."

"You think you had my special attention? Sorry to disappoint you, but I hated all the clones with no distinction. Leekie made me fear you, all of you. From Barbie-Girl Kristal to Brilliant, Gay-is-Ok Cosima. You, Sarah Manning, were never special to me." She says that last sentence with the deliberate intent of hurting Sarah as much as possible.

"You're lying. I was special. Because I had a child. And because you were envious of my so-called free life." Sarah's voice betrays her strong emotions. Rachel grabs a chair and sits to face her clone.

"I can't wait to hear your story, Sarah." She is so angry that she cannot even fake a sarcastic smile.

"Yes, I lived my life unmonitored. But do you really think I had a nice life? Before I met the other Leda sisters, I had no goals in life! My only plan before finding Beth was to take my daughter back and live off of the 5000 dollars I stole from a drug dealer. Wake up Rachel! My life sucked too!"

They stare at each other for several seconds. Sarah's black eyeliner runs down her cheeks. Rachel's lipstick is faded. Apart from that, their faces hold exactly the same expression of deep sorrow.

"You're right, there. I am envious. I was. But not because of your naive life out of DYAD's grip. I was envious because you- you had a family."

She stands up and turns to leave the room.

"Stop, Rachel! We're not done yet!" Sarah's voice sounds broken : "You can - you could choose another life."

Rachel's laugh is sad.

"Saint Sarah, who wants all the sisters to live in perfect harmony. So touching." She takes a few step to Sarah "I can't. I was raised for a purpose."

"You are not alone, we can help you-"

"Don't you understand? I was created and raised to do this. My very existence is connected to Neolution. There is no other path for me."

"Oh come on, Rachel !" Sarah's tone is tainted with anger : "Stop with this self-pity! I get it, your life sucked, too. I watched the videos, I know, right? But do you really think Beth's life was cool? Or Helena's? Even Cosima, who is the most stable of us all, has her own issues. It is not even about you - it's about Swan. Is it the life you want for you daughter?"

"Don't-don't put Swan in the middle of this conversation-"

"Yes, I will talk about her! Because I know you don't want that kind of life for your kid. Am I right? You really want to give your daughter the pink, windowless, room you lived your whole childhood in, after all you've been through?"

"Stop, Sarah." Her voice is threatening and trembling at the same time.

"Though, this is what will happen if you keep thinking you can hide her from your Neo's fellows. Human cloning and motherhood are not compatible. Trust my experience."

Rachel's bionic eye blinks compulsively. She bites her lips so hard she can taste her own blood in her mouth.

"Sarah. Stop."

"If you want to follow the path of Neolution, if you really think you can't make your own path, no one can help you. But please, at least let me take Swan as far as possible."

She is stopped by Rachel's fist on her face. The shock is so violent it sends her on the opposite wall. Before she can escape, Rachel's hands are on her neck, holding her against the cold wall, cutting off her air. They are so close to each others that she can see the self-inflicted marks on Rachel's lips.

"Leave - my daughter – out of this.", she says in a low voice, carefully enunciating each word.

Sarah grips onto Rachel's arms with her hands, fighting for air. She tries to kick her, but her new leg does not respond, and the blond clone is stronger. It is only when she stops struggling that Rachel loosens the pressure of her hands. She releases Sarah's neck to grab her wrists and hold her still, arms along her body, so hard she can hear her bones

cracking. As her head approaches Sarah's - so close that she can feel Rachel's breath on her burning cheek, she whispers :

"She is all I have."

For a while, as if the world had changed the passing of time for a slower, time-lapsed moment, they stare at each other. Both wounded, weary, disoriented.

"Only because you refuse our help-"

And. In an absurd but fluid movement, their lips meet. Neither of them can tell who started this. Sarah's look crosses over from terrified to even more terrified, while Rachel's half closed eyes are indecipherable.

Rachel's bruised lips are surprisingly soft against Sarah's. First, they just repose on Sarah's, not moving, probably too afraid to break the awkward and yet delicious moment. Sarah feels Rachel's heart beating in her lips against hers, making her own mouth shiver slightly. Then Rachel's lips part to allow the escape of a sigh of surrender. Sarah takes this as an opportunity and catches the fleshy, bloody lower lip between hers and taste it shyly with her tongue. Instantly, Rachel's body arches, binding Sarah's wrist tighter, making her moan quietly with both pleasure and pain. Sarah bends her body against Rachel and bites the bruised lower lip. A long whimper escapes the blonde's lips, allowing Sarah to take possession of Rachel's whole mouth.

They kiss for several minutes, eyes closed, Sarah leading the dance even with her hands bound. Rachel's body against her is warm and tensed, hesitant between the need of comfort and the want of running away. Their mouths, their lips, their tongues are the same, and yet each of them discover unexpected wonders from the other. Sarah tastes like cherry and tears where Rachel tastes like blood and lemon. Rachel's lower lip is very sensitive, while Sarah's inner wrists are positively responsive to the hard pressure of Rachel's grip. Each time her nails claw deep into the soft skin, Sarah kisses her with more fury.

The kiss leaves them breathless and yet more alive than either ever felt before. Eyes are shining under their heavy eyelids. Through an unspoken mutual agreement, they do not look at each other. Without releasing her, Rachel suddenly leads Sarah into a graceful half turn. She now has her back against the wall, and she can feel Sarah's body pushed against hers. In an imperious move, she presses Sarah's left hand against her lower belly.

With Rachel's helpful, selfish guiding, Sarah's hand finds its way under the blond's clothes, and then her underwear. She rests her hand where the warm flesh reveals it is already wet beneath. She rests her forehead against Rachel's white shoulder and and she waits. Deliberately. Until Rachel is so desperately in need that she has no choice but to beg her. And that is what she does :

"Please…"

Her voice is less than a whisper, low and shivery. Sarah presses her body a little more against Rachel's, puts her lips at the base of the pale neck, tastes it's velvety skin, and whispers :

"Say it again."

Rachel's body stiffens. She doesn't like being talked to and touched like that. But right now, right here, she'd accept anything from Sarah as long as she fucks her.

"Please."

Then, at this very moment, Sarah pushes two fingers inside Rachel. The two of them symetrically open their mouths and let escape a low, animal-like moan. Rachel's hand trembles around Sarah's wrist, sending jerking vibrations through the fingers inside her. Uncontrollably, her hips start a seesaw motion, following, suffering Sarah's slow rhythm. She wants to say her name, to beg her to go faster. But nothing except muffled whimpers escape her half-opened mouth.

Sarah raises her head to watch Rachel. Their eyes finally meet, shining with excitment. Sarah chooses that moment to add a third finger and speed up her rhythm. With a sparkle of challenge in her eyes, Rachel doesn't lower her look. She rests her head against the wall, barely aware of her legs not carrying her completely, focused on Sarah's look on her, on Sarah's fingers inside her. On Sarah all around.

Then, Sarah's skilled thumb starts stroking Rachel's clit, and all the while can't keep her eyes off her face. She is hypnotized by how similar she is to her now. Without the lipstick, the constant vigilance that makes her face so severe, the crazy, control-freak light on her eyes. Now she looks exactly like her: lost, wild, wandering, fighting for her sanity. Crownless and beautiful. Sarah truly wishes she can change her, make her a better person. And become one herself during the process. At that time, Rachel truly wishes she could take her daughter with her and follow Sarah anywhere, as far as possible from the path she never chose but always followed.

Rachel comes against Sarah with a low, melodious whine. Her whole body tenses, her nails so deeply clawed into Sarah's wrists that the marks will be there for days. Somewhere, inside her mind, Rachel wishes those marks will tell the world that Sarah is hers.

They stay there for some time, Sarah's fingers still inside. Rachel finally releases Sarah's wrists, almost reluctantly. Wobbly on her legs, Sarah takes a few step away from her blond alter-ego, not sure how to end this encounter.

It is Rachel who talks first, her voice slightly hoarse :

"I think you should go."

Sarah risks a look at Rachel. She is herself again, her fair, austere mask back on. She no longer trembles, and any sign of what happened a minute ago has vanished.

"After the storm, I'll ask the pilot to take you back to Canada. Your family has been waiting for you for too long."

She leaves her mother's office without a further look at Sarah.

Sarah

The storm lasts five long days. A compact snow falls continuously, darkening the days and deafening the nights. Everyone waits for a lull, but on the second night a strong blizzard begins to blow. The house fills with the strange, frightening moans of the wind, compensating the deep and complete silence between Rachel and Sarah.

Sarah barely leaves the basement during this time. She refuses to speak to Delphine, who worries a lot about her. She hardly touches the food the French doctor brings. Mostly, she sleeps, cries sometimes, and locks herself in her bedroom. One night, she goes back to Susan's office. She doesn't find the courage to watch another video. She just sits on the armchair and stares at the wall until she falls asleep. When she wakes up in the early morning, she realises someone has put a blanket on her.

The next night, when she wants to open the office door, it is locked again. She goes back to her room and struggles for hours to fall asleep. Unsuccessfully. Availing herself of the quietness of the house, she goes to the kitchen and makes herself a large mug of coffee. Sitting there alone in a semi darkness, she can't help thinking about how hard it is going to be to leave this place. Yes. Hard. She has been waiting for freedom for weeks and now, she feels like she's betraying Swan if she leaves. But honestly, how could she stay? How could she abandon her own daughter once more? And for the purpose of saving Rachel's baby?

Suddenly, a strange noise draws her from her self-interrogation. Like a low moan, carrying a throbbing pain in its tone. She is sure it is not the wind. Feeling the urge to go out and look, despite the terrible weather and uncertain visibility, she puts on the first anorak she finds. It's Rachel's. The scent of her blonde clone surrounds Sarah suddenly, making her shiver and feel slightly nauseated and yet excited at the same time.

She has been lost in that uncomfortable paradox since what happened in Susan's office. Every time she thinks about Rachel, she has to struggle against her need to be as far away as possible from her. And then a second later, she desperately wants to be touched by her. This constant feeling of wanting to be fucked, and at the very same time fearing being stabbed, exhausts her. She has washed her hands a thousand times since that night, but somehow Sarah feels like she can still smell Rachel's fragrance on her fingers. Making her want to cut them off and lick them at the same time.

She shakes her head to discard the awkward, painful memory, and then goes outside. The snow has stopped falling but the strong wind stirs flakes in all directions. The cold cuts into Sarah's cheeks and bare hands, making her feel strangely alive rather than frozen. She can barely see through the heavily falling snow. She stands still against the hostillity of nature and tries to focus on the distant wail.

Uneasy on her legs, she starts orientating herself toward the noise. The more she approaches, the more the yowlings are shrill and recognizable. It is a wolf. When she finally finds him, Sarah sees a beautiful young animal whose bloody paw is trapped under a fallen tree trunk. The wolf seems to know her. When she crouches next to the wounded wolf, he howls faintly, obviously begging her for help.

"Here buddy, I'm gonna help you."

Strangely, she doesn't feel afraid of the animal, whose look seems to consider her as a savior rather than prey. With all her strength, she lifts the trunk, allowing the wolf to withdraw his broken paw. Sarah sits next to the animal in the snow to find her breath and to look at the wounded limb. It's badly injured, she can see the bone coming out of the wound. The wolf starts licking it with great care.

"I don't think that will be enough."

Without hesitation, she takes off her anorak and hoodie. She puts back the anorak as fast as possible, the cold biting her exposed skin. With a barbed, frozen piece of bark, she cuts long fabric strips with the hoodie. Slowly, not to scare of hurt the wolf, she makes a makeshift bandage. She is almost done when she hears a voice in the distance, somewhere behind the compact snow waves surrounding them. She stays completely still, a hand resting on the wolf's warm fur.

"How long before you can bring her to me?"

"Sarah Manning will leave as soon as the snowstorm is over. She will no longer be a problem." Sarah is pretty sure she knows that voice, but it's distorted by the wind, she cannot be sure.

"I want her before the end of the week. They have been together for too long now. The time has come."

"You will have her if you give me what I want."

"You can do whatever you want with the clone. I only care about..." A strong gust of wind prevents Sarah from hearing the end of the phrase. She stays here, stunned, uncertain of what she heard, pretty sure it is a bad omen for both Rachel and Swan.

She stays near the wolf for a long moment, her whole body freezing by the effect of both the cold wind and the disturbing snippets of conversation she's just heard. When she is sure there is no one left to surprise her, and when her fingers are so cold she cannot move them anymore, she caresses the wolf's back and mutters :

"I'm gonna look for help."

The way back is hard, her muscles are numbed by the wind and her new leg is too heavy; she stumbles twice and nearly falls once. When she finally reaches the house, her hands are so sore it takes her two long minutes to open the front door.

There is no one in the living room, nor in the kitchen; she goes straight to Delphine's room downstairs. When she passes near Rachel's door, she hears the soft babbles of Swan, who is just waking up. She needs all her strength not to open the door and take the baby against her. She misses her. So much that it hurts. So much that she wishes she could stay here with her instead of being with her own family.

She knocks at Delphine's door, barely aware of what she is doing, the baby still in her thoughts. When the French doctor opens the door, Sarah has almost forgotten why she is waking her so early in the morning.

"Sarah, are you ok?"

"I need your help. Outside."

"What? What's going on?"

"I found a young wolf, he is badly wounded. We need to help him." In front of Delphine's dubious, still sleepy look, she takes her hand in hers and adds with puppy eyes "Please."

Delphine sighs and smiles to the frozen, stubborn woman in front of her and says:

"You don't speak to me for three days and now you wake me up at 6 a.m. to rescue a wild animal. Well - glad to have you back, Sarah." She smiles kindly "Let me get dressed."

Delphine rejoins Sarah in the entrance hall ten minutes later. In a little bag, she has put bandages, scissors, a bottle of disinfectant and some pain killers. Sarah looks very anxious about the rescue mission. She has taken meat from the freezer. Delphine says in a tone more amused than reproachful :

"You didn't succeed to tame Rachel, so you try with a wolf?"

"Don't laugh at me ! It's serious, Delphine!"

"I guess you should try frozen food with Rachel too!"

Both repress a laugh before facing the ruthless weather. Sarah leads Delphine through the frozen forest, taking great care not to fall again.

The wolf welcomes them with growls of pain. Sarah bends down to give him a piece of meat.

"Look buddy, this is Delphine, she is a doctor. She's going to look at your broken paw, ok?"

She caresses the soft fur while Delphine, not very reassured, starts cleaning and bandaging the wound. After a moment, she straightens and says :

"I think that's about all I can do. Here, give him some painkillers in a piece of meat."

"We should bring him in the house with us."

"Absolutely not, Sarah." She offers an amused smile to the disappointed brunette. "No, he would hurt someone. He is safer here. With the plaster I made, he can move to his lair now. He seems to trust and like you a lot, he will know how to ask for help if something goes wrong. Plus, you gave him food, so he is not in danger of starving."

"Yeah, you're right-but-"

"But now we need to go back to the house and leave him here, because we are freezing and he is no longer in danger. I swear we will come for him tomorrow morning so I can change his bandage. All right?"

"Yeah, ok." Sarah looks so frustrated, like a child told that it is bedtime, and that makes Delphine laugh.

On their way back, Sarah asks :

"Delphine, who else lives on the island?"

"There were a few people further north, but Ira told me they all left with Cosima months ago. To my knowledge, there is only the helicopter pilot."

"Is there a possibility that there are other people? Even without Rachel knowing it?"

"Well, maybe. There is a landing dock near the little village, meaning people can come by boat. Why are you asking me that question?"

"When you were there, did you meet the guy Cosima told me about in her letter. What's his name - Westmoreland?"

"P.T. Westmorland ? It is unlikely. I know Cosima is sure that he is alive as well as Rachel but, I mean, he would be 150 years old... At best he is an impostor. I'm sure he is just a legend conveyed by Neolution's followers."

"But Cosima is sure he's alive."

"Look - Cosima was very very ill when she arrived in the northern village. She is sure she has seen and heard things and people, but I have lived here for longer than her, and I never saw the man she told you about."

"I heard two men talking this morning. I'm sure I know one of them."

"Probably Ferdinand and the pilot."

"I'm worried. I think something bad is going to happen to Swan-"

"I think you are sad to leave her. But Rachel will never let anyone get near her daughter, you can be sure of that."

"Except if someone she trusts betrays her."

They enter the house on that last phrase. Rachel and Swan are on the living room, making Sarah's almost jovial mood - although worried - abruptly turn into a scowl.

"Where have you been?"

"Outside." She approaches Rachel, without Sarah giving her the satisfaction of looking at her.

"That's my coat you are wearing? It's covered in blood."

Angrily, Sarah removes the coat and lets it fall on the ground at Rachel's feet.

"Too bad it's not mine. But you'll still have to wash it if you want to wear it again."

Then Sarah disappears into her room for the rest of the day.

She sleeps through the whole morning. Delphine wakes her up at 1 in the afternoon and forces her to eat something. Sarah spends her afternoon thinking about the wolf in the forest, and about the ominous conversation she overheard. By the time Delphine comes to suggest joining her for dinner, Sarah feels almost certain one of the men must be Ferdinand. She must find a way to deal with him before he can hurt Swan. Delphine's wide smile brings her out of her thoughts

"The storm is over."

"Yes, good news."

"Sarah! You don't understand! We're leaving! Tomorrow morning we are going to leave the Island! I'm coming with you!"

Tears of joy bathe Delphine's cheeks. Sarah takes her in her arms to hide her worries at a time where she should only be delighted to escape this prison.

She barely eats and does not speak much that evening, letting Delphine fill the silences with all the plans she has for herself and Cosima. Too absorbed in her soon-to-be freedom, Delphine does not notice Sarah's lack of cheerfulness. Finally, Sarah feigns tiredness, so she can be alone in her bedroom. She doesn't pack her things, since there is nothing belonging to her there. She sits on the armchair next to her bed and stares at the wall in front of her, not thinking about anything in particular. She ends up falling asleep, dreaming that Swan is kidnapped by Ferdinand, and then saved by a giant wolf.

She is awoken by a hand shaking her.

"Sarah- Sarah-"

She opens her eyes to see Rachel's face a few centimeters from hers. She looks frightened. Sarah quickly sits up straight in the chair. "What?"

Rachel hands shakes on Sarah's shoulder. "It's Swan, she's sick. Do something. Please. " Her last word is a whispered beg.

Sarah jumps on her feet and runs in Rachel's room, not waiting for the blond woman. In her bed, the little girl is covered in sweat, her breathing is laborious. Her eyes are unfocused. Sarah starts undressing her. Her small body very warm, her skin red.

"Hey, Monkey - it's okay, it's okay."

Rachel stands next to Sarah, unable to move."Swan has a very high fever. You need to give her a lukewarm bath."

Standing still in her silk pajamas, Rachel doesn't move or answer, petrified by fear. Sarah puts the baby down in order to grab her clone's shoulders and shake her firmly. It is the first time since they were together in Susan's office that their eyes meet again.

"Rachel ! Your kid needs your help ! You can freak out later ! Come on, prepare a 38- degree bath - now!"

Like a robot, Rachel does what she is told, her limbs shaking violently. Sarah finishes undressing Swan and takes the baby against her chest, wrapping her with her shirt. She sings softly in her ear to reassure her.

When the bath is ready, she puts the moaning baby carefully inside. Less than a minute later, Swan's skin starts to become a normal pink again, and her breathing slowly calms. Her eyes stop rolling a few seconds later. Sarah keeps singing to her, barely aware of Rachel sitting next to her, breathing heavily, watching the two of them intently.

"Here, you see? The fever is lowering, thanks to the water."

After ten minutes, Swan looks better, her heart rate is normal again, and her big eyes stare at the two women in front of her in a combination of surprise and tiredness.

"Get a towel, we need to get her out of the water now."

Sarah wraps the baby in the large towel. She dries her with great care and dresses her again. While concentrated on the baby, she says in a soft voice :

"Rachel, you need to calm down - Swan needs to be against you. But if you are too tense it's not going to work."

Rachel is sitting on the edge of her bed, trembling, a dazed look on her face.

"Can you do that? Can you calm down?"

Rachel acquiesces.

"Lie down on the bed."

She does what she is asked. Sarah puts the baby on her lap, Rachel is not even capable of taking Swan in her arms. Sarah unbuttons Rachel's pajamas carefully, exposing her bare chest. Mouth half opened, Rachel lets her do it. Then Sarah slowly puts Swan against her mother's naked skin and wraps her in the tails of the silk fabrics.

"There, take long, deep breaths. It'll help Swan feel reassured."

She sits next to them on the edge of the bed. In less than five minutes, Swan has fallen asleep, but they stay in that position for more than an hour, stunned as if after a big battle. Sarah finally whispers :

"Good job, she'll probably sleep until tomorrow morning now."

Rachel's face is frozen in fear. She puts her daughter in the middle of the large bed, covers her with a warm blanket and stays there, watching her, while warm tears of exhaustion fall from her eyes. Sarah comes close to them bed and says in a very soft voice :

"When Kira was a baby, she often got very high fevers. It's very frightening and stressful, but it's easy to stop them."

The baby is sleeping peacefully in front of their eyes, but Rachel cannot stop trembling. Shyly, ill at ease, Sarah takes her alter ego's hand in hers and says :"Swan is fine, Rachel."

She turns to leave the room, uncomfortable now that the child is no longer awake to protect the fragile harmony between the two women. When she reaches the door, Rachel's low voice stops her.

"Sarah-"

Sarah turns to face her. Rachel's hands are nervously wrapping her silk pajama around her chest, the fair fabric glittering around her sore body, making her even more miserable.

"Stay with us tonight."

"It'll hurt me more than it'll help you."

"I know."

"That was you plan? To make me love Swan so you could use me?"

"Yes."

"It worked."

"For me too, Sarah."

"Yes. You wanted an heir, you got a loved one."

"And now I'm afraid." It's probably the most honest statement Sarah has ever heard from Rachel.

"Welcome to motherhood."

It is as if an invisible force is holding Sarah there, preventing her from leaving Rachel's bedroom. Leaving Swan in this uncertain world is as painful as leaving Kira when she was a baby. Worse, because Kira had Sibhoan. Swan only has Rachel. Rachel, who desperately needs someone for herself.

"Take care of Swan."

She offers her best comforting smile to Rachel. The very best. In which she puts everything she would like to say. Like Take care of yourself, too. She leaves the room with a hole in her heart.

The following morning, a glorious sun is shining in the sky. The bright blue sky reflects on every droplet of the sea and on each fresh snowflake, dazzling Delphine and Sarah on her way to the helicopter. The island is so beautiful, it is hard to believe it is the same place as the day before.

They both woke up early to say goodbye to the wolf one last time. The wild animal was walking almost normally, except for the little boot that gave him a certain similitude with Sarah.

Delphine climbs in the helicopter cabin first. When it is Sarah's turn, she seems glued to the ground. She watches Delphine with a desperate look on her face.

"I- I can't."

"Sarah." Delphine gently caresses her cheek.

"I can't leave Swan."

"I know. I can't even say I wasn't prepared to go home alone."

"Please, tell Cosima, Felix, Helena … No - just tell Kira I'm sorry."

"I'll tell her the truth. She'll understand."

"Thank you."

Delphine takes Sarah's face in her hands and offers a comforting smile.

"Listen Sarah, you need to be careful. If there are people on the island, I bet they are part of Neolution as well. There is a gun, hidden in my bathroom. The mirror has a secret drawer behind it. Just in case."

"Ok."

"In case of an emergency, I know there is a little zodiac boat hidden somewhere in the northern village. I saw one when I was there. You are not that far away from a coast, in any direction. Maybe six hours if you go north."

"Allright."

They smile at each other. Delphine then leans and kisses Sarah on the forehead.

The pilot asks Sarah to back off and he turns on the helicopter's main rotor, making the fresh snow whirl in every direction. Just before they begin taking off, Delphine shouts into the wind:

"Go, Sarah!"

Sarah runs away from the mini-storm the rotating blades are making, covering her ears against the noise. She cannot hear Delphine saying dreamingly :

"Go - tame your untameable sister."