Thank you to everyone who read the first two chapters. I am excited that people love my story. I love writing it. I will be doing every episode except for 6. I will write 1 chapter for the Dipper's Guide shorts. I hope to do 3 Q&A's, one in season 1, and 2 in season 2. I will do an original chapter of Willow and Alex's anniversary. Alex will be introduced in Double Dipper, and will appear in Time Travelers Pig for sure. I might add him in some more, but that's all I know for sure right now. Unless I say otherwise, you can expect an update every two weeks. I have pretty much everything you can think of planned. Anyway I hope you enjoy the chapter, please review.
Disclaimer: I don't own anything except for my O.C Willow, and her creepy comments.
Mabel's POV (June 17th)
I was knitting a new sweater, Dipper was eating popcorn, and Willow was looking at the journal. We were all watching a show called Duck-tective. It's about a duck that is a detective and a constable in England who solve crimes together. It was a pretty decent show, but you had to pay close attention because the duck only quacked and you had to read subtitles to know what he was saying. Right now there was a dead body crammed in a telephone booth.
"I'm afraid your services won't be required here sir," the constable said to Duck-tective. "My men have examined the evidence and this is obviously an accident."
Duck-tective started quacking, and the subtitles said, "An accident, constable? Or is it… Murder?!"
"What?!" The constable said, then they went to commercial.
"That duck is a genius!" I said, taking some of Dipper's popcorn.
"It's easier to find clues when you're that close to the ground," he said, slapping my hand.
"Also easier when you have powerful senses," Willow added, closing the journal. I looked at them skeptically.
"Are you saying you could outwit Duck-tective?" I asked. They were good, but still.
"Mabel, I have very keen powers of observation," Dipper said. "For example, just by smelling your breath, I can tell that you have been eating… toothpaste?"
"In my defense, it was so sparkly!" I replied, grabbing popcorn before he could stop me. Then Willow started being creepy again.
"If you keep on eating toothpaste it will rot through your body and you won't be able to stop puking. Then you can't eat because you puke so much and you will die and the gnomes will eat your body because everyone knows that they LOVE toothpaste." I rolled my eyes as she finished saying that. Then Soos ran in with a broom.
"Hey, dudes! You'll never guess what I found!" He said, taking popcorn. He loves food.
"Buried treasure!" The three of us guessed. Soos shook his head, then lead us into the hallway. We stopped in front of a door that was designed to look like the wallpaper. Soos put his hand on the doorknob, then turned around.
"So, I was cleaning up when I found this secret door hidden behind the wallpaper. It's crazy bonkers creepy!" he said, opening the door. Inside there was a bunch of wax sculptures.
"It's a secret wax museum!" Dipper said, waving a flashlight around. I went inside and touched one that looked like Sherlock Holmes.
"They're so life-like!" I said excitedly.
"Except for that one," Willow said, pointing at one that looked like Grunkle Stan. Then the statue moved, and all of us screamed, Dipper dropping the flashlight. Grunkle Stan went to the door and turned on the light, then came back over.
"Behold the Gravity Falls Wax Museum! It was one of our most popular attractions… before I forgot all about it. I got 'em all! Genghis Khan, Sherlock Holmes, some kind of, I don't know, goblin man?" He said, stopping at a sculpture of, I think Larry King.
"Is anyone else getting the creeps here?" Dipper asked as Grunkle Stan walked toward the back of the room.
"I am. The wax figures are probably weird and dangerous things that can form into different people and animals when they want to. That would mean that they can trick humans into thinking that there someone else and dominate all of existence." Willow said in a fake scared voice. I could tell that today was one of her days when she had to be creepy every single moment.
"And now… What the heck?!" Grunkle Stan said, standing next to a blob of melted wax. "Wax Abe Lincoln, OH COME ON! Who left the blinds open? Wax John Wilkes Booth, I'm looking in your direction! How do you fix a wax figure?" He said, trying to get the wax together. I went over to him and put my hand on his shoulder.
"Cheer up Grunkle Stan, and don't worry. I'll make you a new wax figure from all this old wax!" I said excitedly.
"You really think you can make one of these puppies?" He asked, standing up.
"Grunkle Stan, I'm an arts and crafts master. Why do you think I always have this glue gun stuck to my arm?" I said, showing him my sleeve.
"I like your gumption, kid! I think I have some leftover wax in the closet. You can use that. Good luck kiddo!" He said, opening the closet then leaving. Half an hour later, I had gotten the melted wax with the extra together and was ready to start carving my design. Dipper and Willow came in, so I ran over to them. I liked my design, but I wanted to get their opinions.
"Hey guys. What do you think of my wax figure idea?" I said, showing them my sketchbook. "It's part fairy princess, and part HORSE fairy princess!"
"Maybe you should carve something from real life," Willow said, staring at my design. I flipped to the next page to show them my back-up plan.
"You mean like a waffle with big arms!"
"Oookaaaaayy, or maybe something else. Like someone in your family," Dipper said. Just then Grunkle Stan walked in looking for his pants. He put one of his feet on a briefcase, and then I knew what I wanted to make. Three hours later, I was almost done. I stepped back to see what I had, but I felt like it was missing something.
"I think… it needs more glitter!" I said. Soos handed me a bucket of glitter and I threw it on the statue. Grunkle Stan walked in, looking for his shoes this time. When he saw the sculpture, he freaked out and fell on the floor. I went over and stood in front of him. "What do you think?"
"I think… the Wax Museum is BACK IN BUSINESS!"
GFF
A few hours later a good portion of the town had come to the re-opening of the wax museum. There was a stage with a podium and most of the wax figures step up outside the shack, with a bunch of foldable chairs set up in front. I was on stage next to a sheet that covered the statue. Grunkle Stan walked up to the podium, tested the microphone, then started introducing the show.
"You all know me folks. Town darling Mr. Mystery! As you know, I always bring the people of this fair town novelties and befuddlements, the likes of which the world has never known. But enough about me. Behold… ME!" He said, taking the sheet off the statue. It had a comically large grin, one hand on its hip, and the other out in a thumbs-up pose. "And now a word from our own Mabelangelo!" he said, standing to the side.
"It's Mabel," I said, taking the mic. "Thank you for coming! I made this sculpture with my own two hands! It's covered in my blood, sweat, tears, and other fluids!" The last part made most of the audience cringe, but I went on talking. "Yeah, anyway, I will now take questions. You in the back."
The guy I pointed to was the crazy guy from the fishing trip. "Old Man McGucket, local kook," he said standing up. "Are the wax figures alive? And, follow-up question, can I survive the wax-man uprising?"
"Um… Yes! Next question!" I said, pointing to a guy in the front row.
"Toby Determined, Gravity Falls Gossiper. Do you really think this constitutes a wonder of the world?" he asked, holding out a turkey baster. I was about to answer, but Grunkle Stan beat me to it.
"Your microphone's a turkey baster, Toby. Next question."
"Shandra Jimenez, a real reporter," a woman in the third row said, looking at Toby with some heat. "Your flyers promised free pizza with admission to this event. Is this true?" The crowd started getting angry then, standing up and moving closer to the stage.
"That was a typo. Good night everyone!" Grunkle Stan said, activating a smoke bomb and running off the stage. The crowd left, flipping chairs, and one guy bunched the lamp pole. I went over to Dipper, Willow and Wendy, who were in charge of admission.
"I think that went well," I said, leaning on the table. That night Grunkle Stan was counting the money we made. It was a pretty good amount, and apparently he was impressed with it.
"Hot pumpkin pie! Look at all this cash! And I owe it all to one person… THIS GUY!" He said, pointing at his replica. I elbowed him in the ribs, then he started noogying me. "Yeah, you too, you little gremlin. Now go wash up and get to bed. We got another long day of fleecing rubes tomorrow. Go, go!" He said, pushing me upstairs.
I went into the attic and got changed, then went into the bathroom and started brushing my teeth. Dipper and Willow were already there. "You guys want to do a toothbrush race?" I asked. They nodded, but before we could start we heard Grunkle Stan yelling downstairs. We put our stuff down, then ran into the living room. He was standing in the doorway, so we couldn't see what was wrong.
"Wax Stan! He's been… murdered!" Grunkle Stan said, moving to the side. The wax figure was on the ground, but his head was missing. I felt my heart beat faster, felt dizzy, and right before I blacked out, I heard the grandfather clock bong ten o'clock.
Dipper's POV
Mabel eventually came to, and was now kneeling next to the figures body. Stan was explaining what had happened to some police officers. "I got up to use the john, right? And when I come back… BLAMMO, he's headless!"
"What's your opinion, Sheriff Blubs?" the taller cop asked. The shorter one responded.
"Look, Durland and I would love to help you folks, but let's face the facts… this case is unsolvable."
"What?!" the four of us said, but Stan added, "You take that back, Sheriff Blubs!"
"You're kidding, right? There must be evidence, motives. I could help if you want," I offered. Mabel stood up then gave me some backup support.
"He's really good. He figured out who was eating our tin cans!"
"All signs pointed to the goat."
"Yeah, let the boy help. He's got a little brain up in his head," Stan said. Apparently the cops weren't impressed.
"Would you look at what we got here! City boy thinks he's gonna solve a mystery with his fancy computer phone!" Bulbs said.
"City boooy! City BOOOOOOY!" Durland yelled.
"You are adorable!" Bulbs said, then he and Durland started laughing. They calmed down enough for Blubs to talk again. "Look PJ's, how about you leave the investigating to the grown-ups, okay?" Then his walkie talkie turned on and we heard a guy's voice.
"Attention all units. Steve is about to fit an entire cantaloupe in his mouth. Repeat, an entire cantaloupe in his mouth!"
"It's a 23-16!" Durland yelled.
"Let's move!" Blubs said, grabbing his gear and running out the door with Durland following him. We heard the siren get quieter and eventually stop all together. I turned Mabel and Willow, slightly pissed off at the cops.
"That's it! Tomorrow we are going to find the jerk who did this and get back that head! Then we'll see who's adorable!" I said, but then I sneezed, which didn't help anything.
"Aww, you sneeze like a kitten!" Mabel said, ignoring my death glare.
GFF (June 18th)
We got up early and were now downstairs looking at the crime scene. We even put fake police tape up. Mabel was taking pictures of the crime scene, and Willow was setting up one of those evidence-board things people use to organize and connect the evidence. I looked at Willow's display, and then started thinking out loud.
"Wax Stan lost his head, and it's up to us to find out who did it and get the head back. There were a lot of unhappy customers at the unveiling. The murderer could have been anyone."
"Even us!" Mabel interrupted. I took the journal out of my vest and started looking at it, even though it probably wouldn't help us much.
"In this town, anything is possible. Gnomes, zombies, it could be months before we find our first clue."
"Look, footprints in the carpet!" Willow said, pointing to the ground. One of the shoes had a hole, but I was more focused on where they went. I followed them behind the chair and saw an ax on the floor. I turned around to show the girls, and they gasped.
"Let's see what Soos thinks," I said, then went into the gift shop. Soos was behind the counter, so we went over. I handed him the ax, then explained what we found out. "There were footprints leading to it. We think it belongs to the murderer. What do you think?"
"In my opinion, this is an ax," he said, giving it back to me. Willow's face lit up.
"The lumberjack! He was furious when he didn't get that free pizza!"
"Furious enough for murder!" Mabel said.
"You must mean Manly Dan," Soos said. "If you want to find him, he hangs out at this crazy intense biker joint downtown."
"Then that's where we're going!" I said.
"Dudes, this is so awesome! You three are like, Pines Inc.!"
"Don't call us that," I said, walking outside. Stan was pulling a coffin out of his car.
"Hey kids, give me a hand here," He said, looking at us. "I'm doing a memorial for Wax Stan. Something small, but classy."
"Sorry Grunkle Stan, but we got a break in the case! We're going into town right now to interrogate the murderer!" Willow said, punching her fist into her hand.
"Seems like the kind of thing a responsible parent wouldn't want you doing. Good thing I'm an uncle! Avenge me kids, AVENGE MEEE!"
GFF
"This is the place," I said. We were in an alley next to Skull Fracture. I looked around the corner and saw a guy with a lot of tattoos standing guard. He looked toward me and I pulled my head back. "Got the fake IDs?" I asked Mabel. She handed one to me and one to Willow, then we went up to the door.
"We're here to interrogate Manly Dan the lumberjack for the murder of Wax Stan," Mabel said, showing the guard her ID. He took it, shrugged, then opened the door. Some of the guys were fighting, others were sitting at the bar, and at least three were on the ground, hopefully unconscious.
"Just try to blend in, ok?" I told Mabel. She nodded, then jumped on a stool next to some biker. Willow and I went to the back of the room where Manly Dan was arm wrestling a machine. "Manly Dan, just the guy we were looking for. Where were you last night?" I asked, getting right to the point.
"Punchin' the clock," He growled.
"You were at work?" Willow asked.
"No, I was punchin' that clock!" he said, pointing out the window. A clock was bent and the hands were frozen at… ten o'clock.
"Ten… the time of the murder. So you've never seen this before?" Willow asked, pulling the ax out of my backpack.
"Listen kids, I wouldn't pick my teeth with that ax. It's left handed! I only use my right hand, the MANLY HAND!" He said, breaking the arm off the machine.
"Thanks, let's get out of here," Willow said, writing something in her notebook. We went to Mabel and pulled her away from the biker guy. We walked down the sidewalk, me walking backwards.
"It's a left handed ax. That should definitely help us narrow down our suspect list," I said to Mabel. Willow held up her notebook. One column had names, and the other two said 'left' and 'right' at the top.
"These are all our suspects. If Manly Dan was right, and I'm pretty sure he was, all we have to do now is find out who is left handed and we've got our killer."
"We are on fire today!" Mabel said excitedly.
"Let's find that murderer!" I said. If there was any doubt before, there is none now; the people in Gravity Falls are WEIRD! The crazy old guy actually had a baby alligator on his arm when we visited him. Eventually we went through most of the people, all of whom were right handed. Willow flipped to the next page then gasped and showed us.
"There's only one suspect left on my list!"
"It all adds up!" I said, gasping.
"And he is definitely left handed!" Mabel added.
"Let's get the cops," I said, running to the police station. About an hour later, we were in front of a house, the cops on either side of the door.
"You kids better be right about this, or you'll never hear the end of it," Blubs whispered to us.
"The evidence is irrefutable," I said, also whispering. "Move in on three. One… Two…"
Durland kicked the door down, then both of the cops went in. We followed them and saw that Toby was on the ground, a confused look on his face. We went over to him, the Willow 'explained' what was going on. "Toby Determined, you're under arrest for the murder of the wax body of our Grunkle Stan!"
"You have the right to remain impressed with our awesome detective work," Mabel added. Toby still looked lost.
"I don't understand!" He said, standing up.
"Then let me explain. You were hoping that Grunkle Stan's new attraction would be the story that saved your failing newspaper. But when the show was a flop, you decided to make your own headline. You cut off Wax Stan's head and almost got away with it. But you were sloppy, and all the clues pointed to a shabby shoed reporter who was caught left handed," I said. Toby was silent for a few seconds, but then his face broke out in a grin.
"Boy kids, you little knees must be sore, from jumping to conclusions. I had nothing to do with that murder." Mabel, Willow and I looked at each other, now confused ourselves.
"Where were you the night of the break in?" Blubs asked. Toby put a tape into the TV then hit play. It was him alone in a room. In the video, he opened the closet and pulled out a life-size cutout of the girl reporter from the unveiling. He started dancing and kissing the cutout, and I turned away. "Time state confirms it. Toby, you're off the hook, you freak of nature."
"But it has to be him! Check the ax for fingerprints!" I said, practically pleading with the cops. Blubs took a finger print duster out of his pocket and put powder on the handle. He looked up, slightly confused, but more annoyed.
"No prints at all."
"No prints? How is that possible?" I said out loud. This was getting weirder by the minute.
"Toby, I got a headline for you. City kids waste everyone's time!" Durland said, then he, Blubs, and Toby all cracked up.
"Let's get out of here," Willow said, putting her hand on my shoulder. "Wax Stan's memorial should be starting soon."
GFF
Stan had set up the ceremony in the wax room. The coffin was up front with a podium next to it. Chairs were set up, most with the other wax people leaning against them. The first row was me, Mabel, Willow and Soos. Stan was standing behind the podium, giving the eulogy.
"Kids, Soos, lifeless wax figures, thank you all for coming. Some people might say it's wrong for a man to love a wax replica of himself."
"Their wrong!" Soos said, jumping up from his chair.
"Easy Soos. Wax Stan, I hope you're picking pockets in wax heaven," Stan said, failing to hold in his tears any longer. He ran from the room, Soos following him. I stood up and went over to the coffin.
"Those cops were right about me," I said depressed.
"Dipper, cheer up. We've come so far! We can't give up now!" Willow said. I turned around to face them.
"But we considered everything. The weapon, the clues, the motive, what are we missing here?" I asked, turning back around. I looked in the coffin and noticed a hole in Wax Stan's shoe. "Why does Wax Stan have a hole in his shoe?" I asked, looking at Mabel.
"All the wax guys have that. It's where the pole thingy attaches to their stand dealy," she said, coming over.
"Wait, they ALL have a hole in their shoe?" I asked. Mabel nodded, still not connecting the dots. But Willow did and her face went from realization, to confusion, to scared all in two seconds. "Guys, what has a hole it its shoe and no fingerprints? The murderers are-"
"Standing right behind you!" We turned around and saw all the wax figures coming to life. A wax girl took the ax from Willow, who had grabbed it from my backpack. Wax Sherlock Holmes, the one who spoke first, came over and pointed his magnifying glass at us with his left hand.
"Congratulations my amateur sleuths. You have unburied the truth, and now we're going to bury you. Bravo, Dipper Pines. You discovered our little secret," Wax Sherlock said, taking Wax Stan's head out of his cape. I was still completely lost, and I could tell that the girls were just as confused as I was.
"How the hell is this possible? You're made of wax!" Willow said, snapping out of her trance.
"Are you magic?" Mabel asked. By then I had mostly come to my senses, but I still couldn't talk. I didn't have to because Wax Sherlock started explaining what was going on.
"She wants to know if we're magic! How adorable is that?! WE'RE BLOODY CURSED! Cursed to come to life whenever the moon is waxing."
"I'm still lost," I said, finally able to talk again.
"Your uncle bought us from a haunted garage sale many years ago. And so, the Mystery Shack Wax Collection was born. By day, we would be the playthings of man. But when your uncle went to sleep, we would rule the night. It was a charmed life for us cursed beings. Until we stopped bringing in money and your uncle closed up shop. We've been waiting ten years to get our revenge on Stan for locking us away. But when we finally got our chance, we got the wrong guy."
"So you're trying to murder Grunkle Stan for real?" I said, less confused and more scared now.
"You were right all along Dipper! Wax people ARE creepy!" Mabel said, looking at me.
"Enough!" Wax Sherlock said, interrupting us. "Now that you know our secret, you must die." His eyes, and the eyes of all the other wax people, rolled up into their heads so they looked kind of zombified. They walked toward us, and we started backing up. We had to stop when we backed into a table.
"What do we do?" Mabel asked me.
"I don't know!" I replied.
"Throw stuff at them!" Willow said, grabbing anything she could off the table and throwing it. It didn't hurt them, but it made them back up a little. I grabbed a coffee pot and flung the coffee at Wax Genghis Khan. It was hot enough to melt his face a little bit and make him scream. "That's it! Dipper, you're a genius! Here, use these!" Willow said, giving each of us an electric candle. We faced the wax figures, making them back up.
"Anyone move and we'll melt you into candles!" I said, moving forward.
"Do you really think you can defeat us?" Wax Sherlock asked.
"Not sure, but it's worth a shot!" Willow yelled.
"So be it! Wax Figures… ATTACK!" The girls and I split up, each taking three or four of the wax figures. I cut Larry King's head off, then turned around when I felt someone grab my candle. I cut the wax figure of Groucho Marx in half at the waist. Wax Genghis Khan ran at me, put I moved to the side and he ran into the fire.
"Dipper, watch out!" Mabel yelled. I cut off Wax Nixon's leg, then turned around and saw Wax Sherlock coming at me. He put Wax Stan's head on a rhino horn, then grabbed a sword off the wall. He swung the sword at me and I blocked it with my candle. The sword missed me, but my candle broke so I was weaponless now.
"Catch!" Willow said, throwing a red-hot fire poker at me. I grabbed it, then Wax Sherlock and I started having a fight for our lives (or whatever Wax Sherlock was). Mostly he was on the offensive and I was blocking. He made me back up a lot, and eventually he pushed me up the stairs onto the attic level. It was kind of awkward because he was left handed and I used my right, but neither of us actually got any hits in. He backed me up against the wall.
"Once your bloody family is out of the way, we'll rule the night once again!" He said, bringing his sword up. I looked out the window, then just as he was about to cut me in half I dove through his legs. I pushed open the window and climbed out onto the roof. "Come back here you brat!"
I climbed onto the 'Shack' sign, then turned around to face him. He swung the sword at me, but I backed up and the sword knocked the S off the sign. I swung the poker and hit his arm, but by then it wasn't hot enough to do any serious damage. "Damn it!" I yelled, throwing the poker off the roof. By then Wax Sherlock had recovered and was coming at me again. I jumped off the sign and went to the other side of the roof. I almost fell, but was able to save myself and hid behind the chimney. I looked around the corner, but next thing I knew I was flying backward. I landed on my back, all the wind coming out of me. I sat up and saw Wax Sherlock standing above me.
"Any last words?" He said, raising his sword. I looked to the side and… perfect timing.
"Got any sunscreen?" I said, standing up just as the sun came over the horizon. His hands started to melt, dropping the sword. He continued to melt as I said, "Letting me lead you outside, probably not your brightest decision."
"Outsmarted by a bloody child. But we'll be back. Mark my words, we WILL be back!" He said, now only his head remaining in one piece.
"Case closed," I said, dusting my hands off. Unfortunately, the dust made me sneeze again.
"You DO sneeze like a kitten. Those bloody policemen were right. You're adorable!" Wax Sherlock's head said, just before it fell off the roof. I went back in the house and saw Mabel throwing the wax parts into the fire and Willow melting some of the wax off the walls.
"Dipper, you weren't killed!" Willow said, noticing me first. That was her creepy way of saying I'm glad you're okay.
"You solved the mystery after all!" Mabel said, throwing the last of the wax parts into the fire. I grabbed a chair and got Wax Stan's head off of the rhino's horn.
"I couldn't have done it without you two. Thanks for all your help." I said, jumping down.
"Hot Belgian Waffles! What happened to my parlor?!" Stan said, walking into the room. Willow had gotten some of the wax off, but it was still a mess.
"Your wax figures turned out to be evil so we fought them to the death!" Willow said.
"I decapitated Larry King," I added, handing Wax Stan's head to Mabel behind her back. After all, it was her creation.
"You kids and your imaginations," Stan said, looking at us like we were crazy.
"On the bright side, we got this back!" Mabel said, taking Wax Stan's head out from behind her. Real Stan's face lit up, a grin as big as the figures on his face.
"My head! Nice going, kiddos! Line up for some affectionate noogie-ing!" He said, rubbing his fist on our heads. Then the police showed up outside the window.
"Solve the case yet, boy? I'm so confident you're gonna say no, I'm gonna take a long, slow slip from my cup of coffee," Blubs said, doing just that. I took Wax Stan's head from Stan and showing it to them.
"Actually, the answer is yes," I said. The cops started spitting coffee in each other's faces, then Blubs started driving away. A few seconds later we all heard a crash, then we started cracking up. "Did you get rid of all the wax figures?" I asked Mabel.
"99% sure that I did!" She responded.
"If not, there's not enough left to do any damage," Willow added.
"Good enough for me!" I said, smiling and nodding, just glad it was all over, at least for now. In Gravity Falls, nothing stays 'normal' for very long.