In the sparse apartment, the same one Loki stayed in during his first weeks in Midgard, they have quiet. Steve insists that they take some time to rest and brings their luggage to them. Magda plays games on her phone, trying to distract herself. Loki tries to read, but his book fails to keep his interest. He sits cross-legged on the floor in front of the floor-to-ceiling windows and stares out over the city. His mind is spinning. He has been operating on autopilot all day, unwilling to stop to feel much of anything. When he has inadvertently let that process begin, a dread so deep it squeezed his chest and froze his mind crept in. He shut it down. But keeping that feeling pushed back was becoming more difficult.
When his phone rings, he nearly jumps out of his skin. It is Alexi.
"Hello?"
"Hi, Loki."
"I was beginning to think you would not call."
"I promised I would."
"I know."
"Didn't you trust me?"
"Yes, I trust you. And I do not trust anyone at the same time."
"That betrayal thing. Right. Odin."
"Precisely."
"Well I did some thinking. Your trust issues suck. Big time. That's going to make this hard."
"Alexi, I'm sorry. I really am. I want to trust you. Fully, deeply, immersively. I just cannot figure out how."
"See a therapist. Work through it."
"I have no idea what a therapist is, but if you think I need one, I will do so."
"Sometimes I forget how new you are to Earth."
"Still less than a year."
"Yeah, I know. Anyway, I don't know how to handle the other stuff. Trying to destroy Jotunheim. The whole thing. All those people. And your total disregard for our lives in this world. I don't want to date a psychopath. And that's pretty scary, psychopathy stuff. Convince me you're not crazy."
"I cannot. All I can tell you is that I was trying to best Odin. It failed. And there is no way to do such. I am not of their ilk. I will never rise to bask in the light of his attention as Thor so often did. But I will be happy if I have yours. Please."
"OK. But if you want to impress me, try flowers. No invasions."
"Of course."
"Loki?"
"Yes?"
"Are you really a different person? Or would you do it again if you had the chance?"
"I am growing. Severed from Asgard, things are so much different. I do not think I would attempt to destroy Jotunheim, had I the chance now. Nor do I think I would invade this place to rule as a god."
"You do know that killing people, even the ones you don't like, is wrong, right?"
"Yes."
"You don't sound so convinced."
"I have centuries of experience in a warrior culture to undo. I have made progress."
"That's only sort of reassuring."
"I know. But I am learning."
"Are you OK?"
"That depends on how badly this conversation ends."
"Oh. Why?"
"I have, since Friday, mourned my mother, thought I had lost you, and learned that Wanda has gone missing from her mission. I am a bit strained."
"Wait, Wanda's missing? Oh my god."
"SHIELD is looking for her. I am at Mr Stark's tower."
"Is Magda OK?"
"We are holding up together."
"Holy hell. And you're still worried about us. Well, let's get to that news, then."
"Yes?"
"This is going to be tough, but I want to try to get past all the horrible stuff you've done. You're fun to be with, and I think we'll be amazing together. So...Halloween's coming up and there's a big party at one of the queer clubs. Everybody dresses up. Do you want to go?"
"Yes!"
"Good. I'll pick you up at six on Halloween. Last day in October. Wear a costume. I'll see you then."
"Alexi?"
"Hmmm?"
"Thank you."
"You're welcome, babe. Catch you later."
"Indeed. Until we meet."
He puts down the phone and falls back on the carpet, "Magda, I have had a bit of good news."
"I heard much of your conversation. Alexi is a good man."
"Yes, he is. And he still wants to see me, despite my having been very much not a good man for a few years."
"But you have lived so long. It was not so many as a matter of percentages."
"No, it is not. But those years are recent and so deeply terrible."
"Then do not make the same mistakes. But remember, always forward."
"Yes. Forward. So tell me about Halloween."
"It is a holiday for tricks and masquerades. You will like it."
They do not hear any news the next day and they go to bed anxious. Loki cannot sleep and he tosses and turns on the couch while he thinks Magda is asleep in the bedroom. It is around two when she stumbles from the bedroom in her fluffy bathrobe and heads straight for the kitchen. She turns on the light. He tosses off his blanket and follows.
"Oh, hello. Did I wake you up?"
"No, I haven't been sleeping. The couch is comfortable, but I just cannot stop thinking."
"I know."
"They aren't telling us anything and we can't help. Do we need to stay another day, or would it be best to go home to a place that is at least comforting?"
"I want to be here to greet her when they bring her home, to hold her and tell her things are going to be right again...but I do not know when that will be and I feel absolutely useless. I can be useful to my clients at home."
"And I can busy myself at the bookshop."
"In the morning, we will pack. And we will tell them we are leaving. Hopefully they will understand."
He hugs her and they take coffee together before they try one more time to get some rest.
They rise early, packing their bags, eating breakfast, and setting the luggage in a neat row beside the couch. Then they go up to the lab.
When they step from the lift, Phil Coulson strides over to them and blocks their path, "I'm sorry if we gave you the impression that you could come up any time you wanted to, but we're in the middle of an active mission and you're going to have to leave."
"And do what? We have been here for a few days. We were asked to be here, and why? We have heard nothing. We sat all day yesterday in a room with little furnishing, amusing ourselves on our telephones, because it was far worse to let our minds wander. My love is missing. All you can tell me is go away. So we will. You can come to us if you hear anything." She turns away, stops and reaches for Loki's hand.
"I'm sorry, but SHIELD doesn't bring family members into our investigations. You shouldn't have been called."
"But we were. And yet you changed nothing. Not even your little games." She glares over her shoulder in Skye's direction.
"All she wanted was an update, Director. Nothing more. Even someone to simply say you do not know anything yet, but you are still diligently searching. Or the honesty to admit if you have given up. Either would suffice. I do not know what they did to you to keep you alive, and I am sorry if my presence here is too disturbing, but do not punish Magda- surely they did not leave you without a heart." He walks with her to the elevator.
"We haven't given up."
Loki glances back over his shoulder, "Thank you."
Tony darts by Phil and slips between them and the opening lift doors, "Hey. Wait up a minute."
Loki opens his mouth to speak, but Magda beats him to it, "Why?"
"Look, I'm sorry if it looked like we were just messing around when you got here. Skye's one of the best hackers in the business and so am I. She wanted a challenge she could run in the background while we worked, I gave her one. We're really doing everything we can to figure out where she is."
"Mr Stark, I hurt. Every inch of my soul is terrified that she is dead. And there is no one here who has cared to acknowledge that Wanda has a family that cares deeply for her and is worried sick."
"We're worried, too. Everybody here is. We have an agent missing, a possible infinity stone in play, and nobody knows what it does. Except that it sent Clint to see Queen. We have no idea what the hell that was about. I'm sorry if we can't update you every day, but it's because we're working around the clock trying to find her."
"Knowing such makes it only a little better. You have someone you love, do you not? Imagine you were in my place and she were missing. You would not sit back and wait for someone else to save her. You could not. It is not in your nature. I do not have your suits. I must wait, whether it is easy or not. She is not just your agent. You would do best to remember that."
"So what do you want me to do, huh? Waste time I could be monitoring screens by calling everybody she knows?"
"Were you to go missing, who would they notify? Everyone you know?"
"No. Just Pepper."
"Exactly. I am her Pepper. A text. A minute, at most. 'No news, still looking.' Nothing complicated, it would suffice. And I will tell Loki. It will sustain us."
"We'll see."
"You damn well better." She squeezes Loki's hand and he gives her a nod. They leave. They retrieve their bags and return home.