VII. Where do we go from here?
Rachel
She wakes up slowly, as if still held in a glorious dream. Her eyes are closed, trapping the images of last night in her mind and engraving them forever in her memory. Her naked body is wrapped in the blanket, and tightly intertwined in Sarah's arms. She can feel Sarah's wrist pinning down the sheets, preventing her from escaping. She cannot move and it should frighten her.
It doesn't.
She breathes slowly, enjoying the quiet, and feeling safe within someone's embrace for the first time in her life. She slowly opens her eyes, now used to the discreet noise her bionic pupil makes when acclimating to the semi-darkness. All she can see in her limited field of vision is Sarah's left arm resting against her : Sarah's fist, tight and pale, against her hip, her wrist, bruised by the leather bracelets she wore a few hours ago. She smiles and closes her eyes for another luxurious moment, rocked by Sarah's slow breathing. One moment of eternity, to enjoy the feeling of Sarah's body against hers. Once more. She is bathed in the perfect fit of Sarah's chest into the curve of her own back. She feels secure, despite the uncertainty of the future.
She gets up slowly and with great care so as not to awake Sarah and Swan. She pauses momentarily to watch the half-naked, sleeping woman in her bed, defenseless and yet dangerous at the same time. Rachel asks herself lazily what can come from this situation. She laughs inwardly, unable to answer, not knowing where she is going from here. It is as if Sarah Manning has the power to erase the path Rachel was supposed to follow - and to force her to draw a new one. Her heart hurts from being drunk on Sarah's soul. It is a strange and unruly feeling and something she has never let happen before, because it would have meant not being in complete control.
She leaves the room in silence, the images of the night before her only shield. When she reaches the kitchen, still wrapped in her sheet like a bride in white, she can't stop smiling. She, Rachel Duncan, the control freak, the pro-clone bitch, cannot think about anything else but Sarah in her bed downstairs. Her personal nemesis, lying naked there, still wet with lust and bruised up to the most intimate parts of her body, because of - thanks to - her.
Something like a giggle almost escapes her mouth. She is about to battle for her daughter - and for herself - for their freedom and free will. And yet she cannot think about anything other than Sarah Manning, the woman who seems to have permanently changed her into someone she never thought she would become : a mother.
Rachel knows she has at the same time also changed into something else - someone else, whose definition is slowly but surely starting to emerge from a part of herself she didn't know existed.
She feels completely serene, half-naked in the living room on this early morning. She woke up without any plan but to wait for someone to rescue them. Now she knows no one will come. Against reason, she feels convinced that she will find a way to escape, to win. Even against Percival Westmoreland, the so-called immortal father of Neolution.
She makes herself a tea, the half-smile on her face unwilling to fade. Then, she looks straight at the camera, not sure if it is the one with which he is watching her, but certain he will get the message anyway. In a low and melodious voice, full of laughter, she says:
"I'm waiting for you."
Then she sits, very straight, on the chair in the kitchen and drinks her tea. Dreaming and vaguely elaborating on a plan, waiting for the next chess move in a quiet, peaceful resignation.
At 9 a.m. , when the pale winter's sun makes the white garden shine, Sarah and Swan rejoin her in the kitchen. Rachel is now perfectly dressed and made up. White dress, high heels and red lipstick: battle gear. The few hours before sunrise finally brought her the perfect plan. Or at least she hopes
Sarah tenderly gives the baby girl to Rachel, who welcomes them both with a neutral voice :
"Hello, Sarah."
"Hey."
She cuddles Swan's body against her for a minute and then places her in the baby carrier. Sarah automatically starts preparing the baby's formula, obviously uneasy to just sit down in front of Rachel and start acting as if everything was normal and safe. When she is done, she starts looking for something else to do, avoiding Rachel without even trying to hide it.
"Sarah, please sit. I've already made coffee."
"Right."
She sits on the edge of the chair, her eyes blinking nervously
"There's no time for being ill-at-ease now. I don't think Ira, or anyone else, will come for us."
"But you said-"
"I said I wasn't sure whether they got my message or not."
"Delphine told me there was a boat somewhere in the north of the village. We should leave."
"Sure. And wait for Wesmoreland and his friends to come for us in Canada? Where your family lives?"
"We could-hide."
"For the rest of our lives? Yesterday you said this was not the life you wanted for Swan. Or for Kira."
Sarah's hands are trembling slightly as she grips her coffee mug.
"I think Wesmorland expects us to split up. You and Swan together trying to escape, while I delay him here in the house."
"I'm not- I won't leave this place without-"
"No. We are not leaving. We wait for him here. We are going to leave this island together. Or we won't."She swallows hard, betraying a tiny amount of anxiety, but not enough to break down her solid determination."He won't hurt Swan anyway. She is too precious to him."
Sarah drinks a long sip of the hot coffee to give her the illusion of courage and control.
"You seem so sure of yourself."
Rachel's lips stretch into a slight smirk.
"Years of practice Sarah. I have learned how to hide my feelings from all the cameras and the vultures around me."
"And how are you feeling inside?"
"Terrified."
Sarah smiles shyly.
"It was true then. You are a real human."
"After last night, you still had doubts?"
"Not really."
They stare at each other awhile, their mouths shut, but their quiet breathing just as explicit asa mouthful of words. In the end, Sarah finally says :
"You know, after all the things we've been through-"
"Sarah, please - can we just- skip the - emotional part ?"
"No. You had the chance to say all you had to say to me over the last few weeks here. I think it's my turn now."
Sarah's eyes shine with grace and determination; Rachel cannot do anything else but listen. She is right, she owes Sarah her attention.
"I hate you."
This first strike unsettles Rachel deeply; it instantly silences her, its force projecting her against her is immobilized by the words.
"What I said when you forced me to take care of Swan when you left is still true today. I don't believe you, and I don't think that is going to change one day. I hate you because you made me choose between Kira and Swan. I abandoned my daughter again because of you. You treated me the same way you did with everyone you've threatened - you forced me into making impossible choices. The kind of choices you make and then instantly regret for the rest of your life."
Her voice is low and calm, the only sign of distress being the tears rolling down her cheeks.
"I am not going on here again about how you stole my egg - or my leg, because there's nothing that can be done to fix that. But the pain you inflicted me by forcing me to come back for Swan, and you, instead of being with Kira -I'll never be able to forgive you for that."
"I-"
"Shite, Rachel - don't! Don't say you didn't ask me to come back. You made me love Swan, you made me her mother! You couldn't expect me to leave her here with Ferdinand and Westmoreland."
Rachel's self-assurance slowly cracks as she accepts Sarah's words like a deserved slap on the face.
"You forced me to kill a man. For the rest of my life I'll have to live with a murder on my conscience, because you weren't smart enough to choose good, trustworthy people."
They stare at each other intently : not moving, barely breathing.
"But that's not the worst. Ferdinand was right. I also came back for you."
She stays silent for a minute, which feels like hours to Rachel, and then speaks again in a low voice:
"I am attracted to you. Like addicted. This feeling - it's as if my soul has been possessed. Every time I try to focus and think about it, I get so confused it hurts. It is crazy, unhealthy, and irrepressible. I have spent the last week asking myself if you are making me a better person - or some kind of monster. And I am not just talking about us having sex. It's more complicated, more painful. I thought it was a link, created by Swan, by our blood in each other's veins. It's not. It's-"
A sobs escapes her mouths, forcing her to stop and catch her breath.
"You made me care about you. And I hate you for that."
Blinded by tears, she tries to look at Rachel. She sits up straight in her chair, completely still, as if one little movement could break her in thousands of little ceramic pieces. Tears fall from her eyes and she doesn't even try to hide them. She seems frozen, fragile. Sarah stands abruptly, spilling coffee all over the immaculate kitchen floor. She says in a miserable whimper :
"Why did you do that to me?"
For a minute, Rachel cannot move, either physically or emotionally, and just looks at Sarah through teary eyes. When she eventually finds the courage to stand up, it is to take Sarah in her arms, just before she falls.
She wraps her hands, her arms, then slowly her whole body around Sarah - the same untouchable, sacred body she had previously in her life used only as a weapon. Until now. She slides trembling fingers into the brown curls of Sarah's hair and draws her as close as possible, making the two of them almost one. Burying her face in her warm neck as she holds her, they are now so close that she can distinctly feel Sarah's heart beating against her own chest. And now, she does not feel the usual disgust and fear she has experienced for most of her life, anytime someone touched her skin. Rachel only feels Sarah's body slowly relaxing, shyly reciprocating her embrace.
Neither can say how long they remain together like this, but long enough for every part of each of them to slowly heal again. Without breaking the embrace, Rachel murmurs :
"Please, don't try being romantic again after that."
Sarah exhales a light giggle. With her lips so close to Rachel's skin that her words make her shiver, she says :
"Swan needs at least one of us to have a heart."
Rachel smiles. She loosens her embrace, looking at Sarah with a half-smile back on her face.
"As much as she needs one of us to, I don't know- have a long-term plan in life?"
Sarah laughs, sitting back down at the table again.
"That was mean."
"That's who I am."
"I know."
Rachel sits in front of her, trying to recompose her self-assurance. They drink from their mugs in a peaceful silence - until Sarah suddenly asks in an uncharacteristically small voice :
"What are we going to do?"
Rachel raises an eyebrow. Judging from Sarah's face, she knows the magic of the moment didn't erase the fear of the hours to come.
"If you're already talking about who we are going to invite to our housewarming, may I suggest that it is a bit premature ? "
"I'm serious."
"Listen, Sarah. The fact that there were cameras allowing him to watch me - to watch us - is not the real problem. He thinks he trapped us, just because he knew what I was doing all this time. It is just a tiny, irritating detail. I've been watched and studied all my life. I have learned how to protect myself from the voyeurs. What's in my brain is out of their so-called control."
Rachel's pride, her cocky certainty has the first time, Sarah herself feels bathed in that self-assurance. She can't say she is not afraid, but she feels their united strengths. She is finishing what remains of her coffee when someone knocks on the door.
Sarah
Sarah jumps with surprise and dread when whoever it is outside knocks with force on the door. For a split-second, she sees the shadow of a great fear in Rachel's eyes.
"Listen to me carefully, Sarah. No matter what happens, let me handle this. Just…if there's one tiny chance for you to trust me for once in your life, it's now."
"What-"
"I don't have time to explain. Just trust me. Blindly."
"I… You're asking a lot.
"Do you think I'd ask you if there was another option? I am begging you to believe me."
"Okay."
"Good.I need you to go downstairs, to my mother's office. Turn on the computer and start the surveillance of the cameras need to be on."
"No. I'm not leaving you here with him."
"Sarah," her voice is low, dominant. "I am not arguing with you now. This is about saving Swan. Do what I ask. Now."
"Let me take Swan with me, then."
"No. He'll panic. Now go downstairs, put the surveillance system on, and come back here."
"Oh, fuck- I hate you."
"You've already said that."
Sarah holds her glare on Rachel for another second before she runs downstairs to turn on the cameras, her heart pounding. The door of Susan's office has been unlocked. "So Rachel finally has a plan.", thinks Sarah, unsure if that is a good or a bad omen. She executes her task as quickly as possible, not wanting to leave Swan upstairs without her for any longer than necessary. Before returning to the living room, she looks in Rachel's room for the gun, but it is nowhere to be found. Desperate and afraid, she goes upstairs and arrives in the main room at the very moment Rachel is greeting a man with a grey beard and dirty clothes. It is the first time Sarah has ever actually seen Westmoreland. He does not look at all like the god all the Neolutionists talk so reverently about, but rather more like a eccentric homeless person. He looks directly at Sarah as soon as he sees her. His blue eyes seem to pierce her body.
"Sarah Manning, It is almost a pleasure to meet you."
"The pleasure is not shared."
He offers a condescending smile and turns his attention to Rachel.
"How are you, Rachel?"
"Professor Westmorland, shall we skip the mundane pleasantries and get straight to the heart of the matter?"
"We shall."
"Please, have a seat. Sarah, bring Swan with you and join us."
She looks so perfect in her role of boss lady that Sarah feels almost hypnotized; how exactly didRachel turn from the emotional mess she was ten minutes ago into this strong, terrifying woman ? It is true that she was raised, perfectly groomed, to be a of her mannerisms belie self-assurance, power, and perfect control : a simple look from her begets respect and fear. And now Rachel's eyes shine with cleverness and determination. Sitting on the grey sofa, in her satin dress and leather shoes, she seems to be on a throne, ready to lead the last battle. Next to her, Westmoreland looks even more miserable with his matted beard and old clothes.
Sarah takes Swan against her chest and sit in the armchair furthest away from Westmoreland. She wraps her arms protectively around the little girl's body. Swan looks at the people around her silently, her big amber eyes wide with interest.
"Rachel, you know why I am here."
"Yes I know."
"I want the child under my protection as of today."
"And you will have her."
Sarah lets out a near-scream of surprise.
"What? No !"
"Sarah, sit down and be quiet.", orders Rachel. Her eyes on her hold her still in her chair, preventing her from escaping or saying another word. "But first, there are a few things I'd like to discuss with you and the board, Professor Westmorland."
"The board?"
"Yes, the board. You and I being, respectively, the Father and the Head of Neolution, still doesn't exempt us from submitting our will to the directors."
"Rachel, if you're trying to win time, it's not going to work."
"No. I'm just following the rules, Professor. Just as I was always told to do as I was a child. You chose my daughter to be your successor. But the ultimate decision is a Neolution board of directors prerogative, which we have to discuss together first. Don't worry, I've already convened 'll be on video conference in a few seconds now."
Sarah and Westmoreland look at Rachel, both silenced by her composure. Seconds later, the projector turns on, sending different images of each director directly onto the white wall of the living room. Swan giggles to see televised images for the first time in her life.
"Good morning to each of you, and thank you for giving us time for this unusual session."
Various responses arrive through the audio system, from the annoyed director in Mumbai, who based on his clothes and tan, has obviously had to interrupt his family vacation to attend, to the shy and honored director of the UK branch, always seemingly stunned to find himself part of the Neolution family.
"We are here to discuss Professor Westmoreland's plan to take my child, Swan, and raise her to be our new head in a few years." Without breaking her gaze at the camera, Rachel makes a barely visible nod in the direction of Westmoreland. "Professor?"
The man seems ill-at-ease, even a bit panicked, when Rachel offers a perfect poker face to her audience."Well, er, yes -what Rachel neglects to mention here is that the child is mine as well."
Shocked exclamations mixed with whispered words of incomprehension break out amongst the directors onscreen. Rachel's deep voice covers them all as she quickly takes control of the reaction.
"Please, ladies and gentlemen - may I have your attention ?" Her facade of politeness makes Sarah smile inwardly. Everyone stops talking immediately, the reaction to her request just strengthening Rachel in her natural leadership.
"Thank you. I am sorry to confess that Swan is not your daughter, Professor."
A deep silence, louder than a scream, follows these last words. Rachel and Westmoreland stare at each other, in turn under the intense gaze of Sarah, Swan, and the other directors.
"You lie."
"Professor please." She offers a condescending smile to the eccentric man."Do you really think I'd have made such a gross mistake? You weren't supposed to know of my plan to have an heir, do you really think I would be stupid enough to use your precious seed?"
Everyone listening holds their breath, captivated - and terrified.
"Yes, if I have a mistake to confess in front of you all today, it is that I hid my daughter from you. It was a clumsy attempt to keep her safe from the intrigues of Neolution. For that, I ask each person here to accept my apologies."
"Rachel, you will not snare me with this story. I know I am the child's father."
"I am sorry to disappoint you, but you are not."
"Who then? Who is the father?"
"It's irrelevant. I have the proof you are not and it is the only thing I want to share with you today. With any of you."
She looks straight in Sarah's eyes. Sarah could swear she saw Rachel smile victoriously for a split second.
"Go on, Miss Duncan, we don't have all morning here!" growled the North African Director angrily, and yet also undeniably a touch delighted by this entertaining plot twist.
"You are not Swan's genitor because you are not the true Westmoreland."
Muffled cries of indignation fill the room while Sarah, petrified in her chair, looks at the man jumping to his feet, screaming :
"How dare you ?"
Rachel sits straight and perfectly still, self confident on the sofa, with a kind of glittering aura about her. In a comic book version of the story, she would be drawn encircled by radiating lines as if glowing from head to toe, her hair floating around her like a halo, giving the impression that her physical body was in fact, pure magic.
"Sit down, Professor -we are not done yet."
The Professor, trembling with rage tries his best not to look defeated. He stands up, in a miserable attempt to defy her. Rachel then joins him, looking taller despite the man's considerable stature.
"You can't be P.T Westmoreland. I mean - look at you. Yes, you look old, but let's be serious - not quite 150 years old."
She walks towards him, fierce and calm. Meanwhile, back in the comic book version of the story, the ground would be drawn trembling with each step as she encroached closer and closer upon the old man, and the complaint of a distant storm would gradually darken the scene as if to fill it with the deep, foreboding noise of thunder.
Rachel continues her verbal assault as she approaches : "I am such a bad believer. Science before religion - I guess it is my strict Oxford education that made me so."
She stops only when she is so close to the man they could touch each other. He takes a careful step back, like a frightened deer.
"You can't have found the secret to immortality. Such a breakthrough is far beyond Neolution's current level of knowledge and scientific progress. I mean, look at your implants :they can barely treat minor diseases, forget about cancer or AIDS. On the evolutionary scale, there is a big anachronism here, don't you think?
The poor man's body shakes violently, plainly observed by the twelve stunned directors.
"And look at the clones ! We are so imperfect and weak. Barely useful on a battlefield, uncontrollable, and a year ago, we weren't even able to survive the age of 35. I am so sorry to shake down decades of false beliefs."
She pushes the man with one hand and he falls back on his chair, unable to defend himself.
"My idea is that you are a clone yourself - which makes this situation even more laughable." She takes a moment to look straight in each pair of eyes, watching her in terror, before speaking again. " I think you are the first level of human clonage. You were secretly created and born to protect Neolution's biggest lie : that eternal life doesn't exist. And I imagine your creators probably chose the most perfect of all their attempts to endorse their precious father. Which means I'm 99 percent sure you are sterile."
Sure that the man will now stay still in his chair until she decides otherwise, Rachel returns to the sofa and sits.
"Of course I found the sperm sample you left forme to find in the lab. It is still in the same place you put it, untouched. See, I'm a bit annoyed. I thought you considered me as an intelligent person. Obviously, I was wrong. You were to. I am sorry to disappoint you, but if you wanted a docile puppet to do the job, you failed."
Crossing her legs elegantly, she says, amused :
"You will probably ask for proof, when you'll recover your ability to speak. Don't worry, I'll dedicate my entire life to bring it to you."
She exhales a long breath.
"OK, now that it is clear that you are not my child's father, I'll politely decline your offer to take care of her. I have other plans for her, and leading Neolution is not one of them. But I'll let the board decide. Ladies, gentlemen, shall we process to a vote?"
Sarah takes her eyes off Rachel with some difficulty in order to check in on the directors watching them in a deathly silence. She then focuses on the man sitting miserably in his chair, still unable to move or speak.
With no surprise, the vote is in Rachel's favor. Sarah cannot think it could have been otherwise after this demonstration of force.
"Thank you. Now I would like your attention for one more subject before letting you go."
No one objects, each board member listening attentively and seemingly speechless, as if under the spell of Rachel's command.
"I want a guarantee that the Leda clones will be safe from Neolution's intrigues from now on."
"Wait! What?" The Indian's director almost screams. " You are not supposed to make us vote on motions for your own comfort, Miss Duncan!"
"I am not talking about comfort, Sir. I am talking about the right to a private life."
"You decided to abandon your private life the day you became head of Neolution."
A light laugh escapes Rachel's lips."You can't be serious! Do you know who you're talking to? You are talking about private life to the one person here who has not had one starting the day she was born. I was created and raised to have one purpose - to lead the Neolution. That's what I am doing. I'll be your Leader because it's my duty. But you will leave the other Leda Clones out of this."
"Is that a threat Miss Duncan?",asks the North African director in anger.
"No, it is a statement."Rachel pauses briefly "Now listen to me carefully :"
"Since I was a child, first my father - and then Aldous Leekie after him - told me I was a special person with a great destiny to fulfill. I was prepared to face hardships to succeed. One by one, I faced them. With no privacy, no free will, no affection. I did it without complaining, because I knew I was the chosen daughter. I have been prepared my whole life for this moment. And every test, every blood sample I gave, every image you stole from me, every moment of childhood you ruined, was worth it." She takes a deep breath to give herself courage "Now that I am at the exact place you, and your predecessors before you, wanted, I am not letting anyone challenge me, or complain about my choices."
The North African director looks petrified, as if waiting for his public execution.
"You are led by someone you chose to be as I am - you cannot honestly have thought I would grow up to be just a pawn in your game of chess. You should know my ways by now, because they were taught to me under your direction." She smiles, her white teeth ready to bite.
"Look, here's the thing : I know you. All of you. I know where each of you live, your partners' names, and your children's favorite ice cream flavor. I know your tastes in literature and your creepy little secrets. I have a file on each of you, that I wrote with my own hand when everyone of you thought I was knitting for my baby-to-come. And you know what? I did that because that is the education I received. There are cameras in every room of your houses and offices. And people, loyal only to me, that follow you and your loved ones everywhere, and that are capable of doing something – anything- the second I ask them to."
Sarah watches Rachel, regal and assuredly calm, becoming the queen she was bred to become. She holds the baby against her, afraid and yet deeply attracted to Rachel all at the same time.
"Just so you know, this meeting is actually being transmitted live to every Leda clone, so they can hear from each of you the assurance they will live the rest of their lives without you bothering them. Consider that our Neolution insurance policy."
A heavy silence follows her last words."Check and check mate.", thinks Sarah.
"You won't always win."Westmoreland's voice is trembling and low, making his words even more laughable.
"On the contrary, Professor. The game is over, you have lost. And worst of all, you lost because you were fooled by your own tricks."
She stands up and without paying attention to the directors on screen, she says in a voice authoritative yet tinged with ennui:"Thank you for your patience today, ladies and gentlemen. I'll see you next month for our board of directors meeting."
She turns off the communication link and turns her attention to the cornered man in front of her."Now that there are only the two of us, tell me that I was wrong, Westmoreland - or whoever you are."
"That was well-played, Rachel. But you won't win the Neolutionists' hearts that easily without me."
"That is not my plan. You're perfect as the crazy, old immortal father of us all. Just let me be the leader while you play the legend."
He doesn't answer, for he senses it is not a question, but a thinly disguised order.
"Now, get out of my house, and leave the island. This is my home, you are not welcome here anymore."
He stands up, uneasy on his legs."You know it's not over, Rachel."
"Oh, come on ! Try to be smarter than Aldous was and accept that the pupil has surpassed the master. You should be proud, it is all thanks to you."
"You can't defeat us. I am not alone-"
"Who are you talking about? Nealon? He's the next on my list. Someone else? I told you, it's not just a job for me, it is the achievement of a lifetime and I won't let anyone stop me."
"Even if it means you and your daughter will never be completely safe ?".
"My daughter is safer with me than with you."
They stare at each other, Westmoreland perfectly aware that he is bluffing, and yet too proud to surrender without at least trying to use fear to shake Rachel's conviction.
"Your family is a weakness."
"No. My loneliness was."
"Who is the child's father? You at least owe me that information."
"I owe you nothing. And Swan has no father."
Seeming to suddenly remember Sarah's presence, he abruptly turns his icy blue eyes toward her and the child in her arms.
"You know who her father is?"
"She just told you. She has no father. She has two mothers instead."
He laughs nervously.
"You'd rather die than say his name then?"
"It will give you a goal to look for an answer so you can try to use it to take me down. Now, get out of here."
Defenseless and dismissed, he leaves the house, his shoulders looking heavy, the shame making him even more insignifiant in the face of Rachel's glory. The two women take a moment to just stare at each other, a bit in shock and not completely sure of what to say or think or do.
"Holy shit was-"
"Bluff."
"What?"
"Yes." She offers a shy smile. "Only vague suspicions and a large dose of bluffing."
Sarah bursts out laughing uncontrollably.
"Fuck. I'll never play poker with you."
Rachel laughs slightly, allowing herself to savor her master stroke. Quickly though, because now that her plan has succeeded, she only has a vague idea of where to go from here.
"We should pack fast now. It's almost 11. We have to leave the island before noon if we so we don't have to navigate the waterat night."
"There's a boat then?"
"Of course. It's in the basement."
"What? There was a boat here from the beginning?"
"Yes. But if was necessary to have this conversation before leaving."
"How did you know?"
"About the boat? It's written in the book."
"The book?"
"The Island of Docteur Moreau. My father read it to me a thousand times. We are on the island in the book. He knew from the beginning-"
"How-?"
"I guess he knew my mother and Aldous's plans. He tried to warn me, to put me in the right direction wisely and discreetly enough for me to understand at just the right moment."
"That was smart."
"Yes- And it makes his death even more difficult to bear. I betrayed the only person who truly cared about me."
Tears escape her eyes while her limbs start trembling with emotion and pain.
"He'd be proud of what you did to protect us all today."
"Yes. Whatever." She gets rid of the tears or her cheeks abruptly "Come with me, I don't want the three of us to be separated before we leave this place."
"Do you think he could come back? After all the precautions you took?"
"He is angry. Anger leads to rash and dangerous strikes."
Less than an hour later, the boat is floating on the cold water just past the shore, brilliant under the sun. Sarah takes a last look at the living room, uncertain in her mixed feelings for this place. Through the large window, she watches Rachel walking in the white garden, Swan in her arms. She realizes she is not using her cane anymore, just before noticing that she herself barely limps now. They are both leaving today as different people than they were when they arrived.
She is about to rejoin them when she catches a discreet movement at the edge of the forest, lightening an alarm inside her. She focuses for a long moment before recognizing the wolf, hidden in the shadows, whose shapes emerges slowly from under the trees.
From her point of view, Sarah can take in the scene, completely unobserved. The wolf seems on alert, his whole body contracted and cowered in the darkness, his ears back, tail nervously whipping the snow, eyes frenetically moving from Rachel and the baby to something just beyond Sarah's field of vision.
Westmorland. She can't see him but she is sure the man is what the wolf is looking at. In a hurry, she opens the door, as quietly as her fear allows her. Still hidden in the house, she can see the old man approaching Rachel from behind, furious, and a gun, glittering in the winter sun, on his arm.
Sarah's breath is hard. She knows that whatever she does, the consequences could be devastating, perhaps even horrific. Her reason tells her to stay safe and hidden in the house, when her heart screams to her to protect Rachel and Swan.
Her eyes finally meet the wolf's gaze. For a split second, he offers her a look of complete incomprehension, looking alternately at her and Rachel.
Westmorland's voice resonates loudly in the frozen landscape, making everyone jump at the same time. "You can't win this game, Rachel!"
Rachel holds the man's gaze bravely. "The problem is, my dear Professor, I never considered this a game."
"Give me the child, Rachel."
The blond woman takes a step back as if by instinct, when she spies Sarah hidden behind the door. Rachel's eyes beg her to stay hidden, but Sarah chooses that moment to slip out of her shelter, as quietly as possible. So as not to reveal Sarah's presence to Westmorland, Rachel quickly focuses on the man threatening her with his gun, not without imperceptibly lifting her eyes in sign of disapproval.
"You know you will have to kill me if you want the child. And you know that if you do that, it'll be your last strike."
Slowly, as discreet as a wild animal fighting for her survival, Sarah tip-toes towards the man, grateful that Rachel is distracting him so completely.
"My daughter's life is valuable to you. But yours is even more precious. You're not going to kill me."
She smiles, calm and beautiful under the man's threat. Westmoreland raises the gun with both his hands
"You are too sure of yourself. Poor Rachel-"
The sound of the safety being unlocked makes Sarah's heart skip a beat. She stops thinking and instinctively starts running at the man before her. Blinded by fear, she barely realizes she is too far away to stop him.
Suddenly, a grey, furry lightning enters her field of vision and she falls on the ground, a scream of pain and terror escaping her mouth as her whole body hits the frozen snow. In her ears, everything is messy first an explosion, the different-pitched screams from Rachel and the bearded man, and a savage howling attack her sense of hearing simultaneously.
Coming through most clearly is Swan's distressed exclamation of fear.
She forces herself to open her eyes and sit up. Rachel is standing still, Swan wailing against her, apparently more terrified than hurt. Still and hypnotized, the three of them watch the wolf fighting for them, wild and majestic. The fight is biased, the old man can't win against a wolf who is defending his family. With a subtle mix of violence and instinct, the wolf kills the man.
Slowly, carefully, Sarah crawls to Swan and Rachel. She has almost reached them when the wolf raises his muffle and seems to discover them. For a second, he looks nervous, the blood all over his fur making him look terrifying. Swan cries in her mother's arms and there's nothing Rachel can do to calm her. Slowly, the wolf approaches them. When he is close enough, he sits down on the snow and with calm authority, starts gently licking Sarah's trembling hands.
The two women hold their breath. Rachel swallows hard and kneels onto the cold ground.
"Here Swan, calm down. He is a friend of ours."
The wolf raises his majestic head to look straight into Swan's eyes. The little girl instantly stops crying. Carefully, he puts his enormous muzzle on the tiny body and starts making a low noise, almost like a cat's purring. Eyes open wide, Swan's lips part on a melodious laugh.
They stay here in the snow for quite some time, reunited and safe. Sarah finally gets up and says in a little voice
"I'll take care of this one before we go."
Rachel watches her for a moment, walking away, dragging the body out of her field of vision. Then she forgets about Sarah and Westmoreland and everything else, and focuses entirely on her daughter, now playing with the wolf who saved their lives.
It takes them a lots of courage, and the promise that they will come back, to leave the wolf and the island. During the voyage on the water, neither of the women can talk or look at each other. Their hearts are heavy with the fear of what is to come.
When they finally reach land, Ira is waiting for them on the beach. He helps them to out disembark, offering forced smiles and blankets.
"Sarah, there's someone waiting for you in the car over there."
Knowing instantly who it must be, she runs as fast as her new leg allows her. Half-way, she sees her daughter getting out of the car and running to meet her. She takes her in her arms and makes her fly, just like when she was tiny. She hears her giggling through sobs of joy, she feels her skin against hers, warming her, healing her instantly from everything. They spin in circles for what seems hours, not aware of the world around them. She hears her daughter's laugh when she shouts I love you and feels the sand moving under her feet by force of her circles. They fall on the still warm sand, laughing and hugging each other.
When they can't laugh anymore, Sarah whispers in Kira's ear,"I missed you so much" a million times. She feels like she could never have enough of her daughter's scent and touch.
Finally, time resumes its course gently, quietly. They look at the sky getting darker slowly, holding each other tight. When the night becomes too cold, Sarah takes her daughter's hand and they climb into the waiting car. Sarah can't remember if she gives Ira a particular destination, nor can she remember if he gives her money to pay their meal and the hotel room. She can only remember her daughter's body against hers through the night, and her fighting against sleep to keep looking at Kira's face.
When she finally wakes up the following morning, the entire room is bathed in the warm light of the sun. Sarah straightens on the bed abruptly, looking for Kira. The young girl is sitting on the armchair next to her. She watches her mother, a gentle smile illuminating her face.
"Hey Monkey, did you sleep well?"
"Yes. Mom, there's something I want to do."
"Sure" She notices that her daughter is already fully dressed.
Kira murmurs in a little voice, "I want to meet my sister."
Sarah takes a deep breath and sit on the edge of the bed, looking Kira intently.
"Delphine told you."
"No. I knew it." She stands up and sit next her mother on the bed. "There was no other explanation for you staying on the island."
"You are- amazing, you know that?"
Kira just smiles and gives her mother an extended hug.
Later, in the elevator taking them to Rachel's apartment, Kira seems both impatient and wise, while Sarah is just completely scared.
"You know - it'll be hard for uncle Felix to accept the situation." Kira smiles at her mother's stunned face.
"Well- you know, Felix will get used to it - he always does. I'm more worried about Helena."
"I'm not that sure. Helena, she'll love you anyway. Uncle Felix is- he's hurt."
"Yeah. I'll talk to him."
"Yes."
The elevator announces Rachel's floor in a thinkCanadian accent that makes them laugh.
It is Kira who knocks on the door. She looks so determined at that moment that it makes Sarah love her just that much more. Rachel opens the door. Her eyes meet Sarah's for a second and Sarah can tell how embarrassed the blond woman is. Then, looking at Kira, she smiles and says with the most gentle tone she's capable of :
"Hello Kira"
"I want to see my sister." The girl's voice is fierce and cold, making Rachel take a step back. However, she does not let her smile fade from her face.
"Absolutely. She's in my bedroom, let me take you there-"
"I'll find the way, thank you."
Kira disappears inside the apartment before Rachel can say anything else. Sarah closes the door behind her and mumbles as she heads straight to the living room :
" Sorry about that. She just-needs to do this alone."
"I understand."
Sarah sits on the grey sofa, ill at ease, subtly trying to avoid eye contact with Rachel.
"Do you have - Something to drink? Please?"
"Yes. Tea? Coffee?"
"Scotch?"
"Sarah, it's 10 a.m. !"
"So? It's the day my daughters meet-"
"Sure. I'll make coffee then."
Sarah exhales audibly to show her indignation, but smiles when Rachel gives her a large mug of coffee 5 minutes blond woman's hands are trembling with anxiety as she sits at a respectable distance from Sarah on the sofa, then staring into her cup of tea to hide her emotions. She eventually breaks the silence a minute later :
"How long do you think they'll need?"
"Don't worry, Kira just needs time to get to know Swan-"
At that very moment, Kira comes back in the living room, Swan against her in her arms. She goes directly at Rachel and says in a calm voice :
"I don't want to be separated from my mother and sister anymore."
"I- I understand."
"No, you don't." Kira's beautiful eyes judge Rachel severely. " I'll forgive all the bad things that you've done before. It will take time. But I know I can, because that's what my mom did. But don't take them from me again. Ever."
"Yes."
"And you have to make the same promise to my aunties. And uncle Felix and Mrs S."
"I'll do that too."
"Ok. Swan and I will need a room to share, then."
"Of course. Well - take mine until we find a more long-term solution. And don't hesitate to ask for what you need to feel- at home here."
Kira gives a tiny half-smile before leaving the room again, the baby calm in her arms. When she is sure that her daughter can't hear her, Sarah says quietly :
"It went well."
"You're right, she definitely loves me."
"I mean, it went well, regarding the situation." Sarah smiles
"Yes."
"It was the easy part. At least she didn't try to kill you. Wait until you meet Helena or see Fee again-"
"Later Sarah. Not the whole broken, punk family in one day." All of her self-assurance is still not enough to completely hide the fear she feels at the idea of having to faceHelena, Alison and the others in the days to come. Seeing Sarah so amused by her embarrassment, she snaps :
"And you, Sarah - are you ready?"
"For what?"
"For considering yourself at home here with your daughters? For not running away from every hard task life gives you? Are you ready for that?"
At this precise moment, Kira's light laugh fills the impersonal white and grey living room, painting it with the colors of joy. Sarah stares at Rachel defiantly for a moment, bathed in her daughter's happiness. Then she says in a determined voice :
"Sincerely? I don't know where all of this is going to lead us. I don't know where to start, I don't know what to do."
She stands and draws closer to Rachel, not able to take her eyes off her :
"Honestly, I don't think our- situation - is at all sane, and I don't know if I'll ever trust you one day."
She takes Rachel's hand in hers, her fingers trembling with the frivolous joy of just feeling her next to her, her body carrying the answers her mind couldn't dare admitting.
"I don't know where we can go from here."
She leans and rests her forehead against Rachel's, then she murmurs :
"But- I know I want to try. For my daughters."
Their mouths meets, shyly, light pink against bright red. And when she parts her lips slowly, wrapped in the kiss, Rachel can hear two whispered words :
"For you."
- The End
Notes:
So, this is it. I finished this fanfiction that was in my head for months now. I didn't know I could do it. It's my first fic written in english (not translated from french). It's my first Orphan Black fic. It's also the longest work I ever wrote.
It wouldn't have been possible without the help of my wonderful beta-reader, Susannah. It was so fantastic to work with her that first, she became a friend, then, I decided to write more ProPunk
To you, dear, DEAR readers, thank you so much. Your kudos and so nice comments helped me to write and to keep going even during hard times.
I'll end this emotional note saying I couldn't really say goodbye to the characters of The Chosen Daughter : I'm writing a sequel, because it was too hard to let Sarah and Rachel (and the Wolf) even after so many pages :-)
I hope you enjoyed this story as much as I enjoyed writing it !
Mary