Thanks to oncer4life11, Emilee Amethyst and Araya for the reviews! :)

"Very well, Emma." Whale started, sitting down behind his desk to face me and putting his elbows on the table. "The results from your blood tests are back, and as you probably already know it, you're pregnant."

"How many weeks?" I asked, trying to control my shaking voice while nervously playing with my fingers, because even if I was expecting this, it was horrifying.

"Five."

I sighted, completely discouraged by these news. A week had passed since I had taken the pregnancy test, forced my my mom and Regina. I had done many more since then, and they had all come back positive. I had naively hoped they were all wrong and I wasn't really pregnant, not wanting to let go of this last way out. My mom had forced me to go to the hospital to have my blood tested and be sure of my condition. And now, I didn't have any hope left. The blood sample couldn't be wrong. I was pregnant. I was going to have another baby even if I was everything but ready to face this situation. And because I was doing everything wrong lately, I hadn't talked with Killian yet because I was terrified. I knew it was ridiculous, but telling him was only making things more real and I couldn't accept it, not yet.

"Could you keep that for yourself until I tell Killian about it?" I asked, looking down at the floor to avoid the doctor's gaze.

"You haven't told him yet?" He said, sounding surprised and looking at me as if I was a perfect idiot, which I was this time, I was aware of it.

"No, I haven't." I admitted, ashamed of myself. "I wanted to make sure the tests were right before telling him."

I was looking for excuses, I knew it, and I hated myself for that. I should have told everything to Killian right after taking the first test. Hell, I should have told him I thought I was pregnant way before that. When I had thrown up for the first time, for example. But, as always when I was scared, I was putting my armor back on, and was trying to convince myself I could deal with the situation all alone. I was stupid, he was the damn father, he had the right to know. And beside, I should have known that trying to keep things to myself wasn't very effective. I was only feeling worse and was making everyone suffer around me. I was such an idiot.

"Well, the tests were right. You're pregnant." Whale stated with a little shrug as if the situation was perfectly normal and I wasn't on the edge of a panic attack.

"Can't it be a pseudo pregnancy?" I asked, trying to find a way out of this and this solution was looking really appealing to me because it would mean everything was all right.

"I don't think so, but if you want to, we can make sure of that." He answered, pointing toward the examination table. "Lay on it and lift up your shirt, please."

I obeyed, the cold making me shiver when I lifted up my shirt as he had asked me to, and tried to ignore my stomach that was hurting because of my anxiety. I was certain I was pregnant, now. I didn't even know why I had asked him to make sure it wasn't a pseudo pregnancy. It wasn't, I knew it, I could feel it in my bones. The truth was I had to find a way out, and it was the only thing I had thought of. But when the doctor was going to tell me I was pregnant for good, I couldn't escape this anymore. And I was so scared I was feeling like throwing up again.

"You're still having morning sicknesses?" He asked, driving me away from my thoughts.

"You mean all day long sicknesses, right?" I mumbled, and it made him smile a little bit.

"Nausea? Dizziness? Fainting?"

"Everything all at once." I answered with a little sight.

"Well, you're lucky this time, tell me!" He said, his eyes widened.

I didn't answer anything and looked at him as he was starting the ultrasound. I slightly startled when the cold jelly touched my skin. A blurry image appeared on the screen beside me. I stared at it, and my heart skipped a beat when I saw something in the middle of the screen. It was so little it was almost invisible, put I could swear it was there. I was suddenly feeling so moved about this, and I felt a lump forming in my throat when I heard the regular sound of a heartbeat ringing into the room.

"Well, you know now, Emma. You're pregnant. There is no doubt possible"

"Can we… I didn't know we could already hear its heartbeat." I stated in a muffled voice, because I was suddenly feeling like crying and it wasn't because I was unhappy, it was because this was moving me beyond words. "I thought it was too soon for that..."

"It isn't, as you can see. And it's perfectly regular." The doctor answered, focused on the screen and not noticing that I was about to start crying.

I had found out I was expecting Henry when I was eight weeks pregnant. I was at nine weeks with Liam, and I had never realized I was pregnant this early in the process. I had always thought we could only hear the heartbeat much later. I looked up at the ceiling to try and hold back my tears. I was overwhelmed by this moment. I wasn't expecting that, and hearing its heart made everything so real all at once. I didn't want to be pregnant two minutes ago. But now I was realizing that I was already loving this little baby so much. It was inside of me, I was already feeling a bound forming with it. Without notice, I felt a little pinch in my chest. I was going to have another baby, and I felt so much love for it all at once it made me dizzy. I was still scared, of course. But it was already a bit better, because of the love I was already feeling for this kid. It was wonderful and confusing at the same time.

Whale finished the exam, and I sat down, discreetly wiping off a tears I hadn't been able to hold back and that was streaming down my face. If the doctor had noticed something, he didn't say anything and I felt grateful for his thoughtfulness. I put a hand on my stomach and took three deep breaths to calm down a little bit. I was trying to process the hundredth of contradictory thoughts that were crashing inside my brain, and it was pretty difficult. When I finally managed to push away my anxiety, I got off the examination table and sat back down on the chair facing Whale, my arms and my legs crossed as if I was trying to protect myself. I was feeling like everything had suddenly changed, and I didn't really know what to do anymore.

"You're under professional secrecy, right?" I asked, biting the inside of my cheek, a bit worried at the thought Whale would tell someone about my pregnancy.

"Of course, Emma, don't worry." He said with a little smile. "I'm not planning on telling the entire world you're pregnant."

"The gossips go fast in this town." I justified myself, my eyes staring at my shoes to avoid looking at the doctor.

"But you do realize that people are going to notice you're pregnant sooner or later, right?" He asked, his eyebrows raised. "A pregnancy is not easy to hide."

"I don't want to hide it." I corrected, trying to explain myself because I knew it was a bit hard to understand. "I just want to tell Killian before anyone else, and I want to wait for Harry, Ron and Hermione to go home before announcing the town. I'm only 5 weeks pregnant anyway. I have time before starting to show, and the wizards will be back home then."

"I won't tell anything anyway, I promise." He affirmed with a nod. "About your sicknesses, there are natural ways to cope with them. I'm writing them down so you can use them. It's not much, but it will help you feel a bit better."

I stared at him as he was writing a list of things to help me with my nausea. I was feeling like I could start yelling right there, in the middle of Whale's office, because I had no idea how to deal with all these emotions. But I forced myself to stay calm and look peaceful, even if it was hard. After a couple of minutes, the doctor pushed a sheet of paper in my direction. I took it with a sight and put it in my pocket, thanking him in a low voice with the feeling I was drowning in my own emotions.

"Here we go, Emma." He said, not noticing how bad I was feeling. "I will see you for the third month ultrasound, hoping that there won't be any problems until then."

I got off my seat with somewhat shaky steps. I awkwardly crossed the door, too shocked to be able to walk straight or say something logical.

"Hang in there, okay?" He added with a little smile before closing the door behind him without waiting for an answer.

Once I was sure I was alone, I collapsed on a chair in the waiting room and took my face in my hands. I wanted to cry and yell at the same time. I was so scared not to be able to take care of this child, I was terrified thinking that I perhaps wouldn't have time for Henry and Liam anymore, but I was also so happy and it was confusing as hell. Killian and I were having a baby again. A new child, we were going to have a big family. I didn't know what to think anymore because I was too bewildered.

And suddenly, I realized something very important, and I straightened on my chair. Killian. I had to tell Killian, right now. He would know what to do, he always knew. Not wanting to wait another minute before talking with the man I loved, I wiped off the tears from my face, got off my seat and started running toward the exit of the hospital.

I walked inside of my house and slammed the door behind me without really realizing it. I had run from the hospital to where I was living, and I was really tired. I had needed to exhaust myself in order to calm my anxiety down, and I also wanted to tell Killian the sooner possible. It had actually managed to make me think straight, but it hadn't been helpful for my nausea. My legs were now really weak and I was feeling like throwing up again. But running had always been really helpful for me when I wanted to calm myself down, and it had worked perfectly as I had expected.

"Swan, you're home?" Killian's voice asked from the living room.

"Who else could it be?" I panted, heading for the room to find Hook sitting on the sofa, playing with Liam who was laughing on his lap.

"Are you okay?" He asked looking at me with one of his eyebrow raised as I collapsed next to him on the couch. "Why do you seem so tired?"

"I ran." I simply said, too breathless to offer him a better answer. "I needed it."

"Did Whale give you some answers?" He guessed in a worried voice. "Is it that bad? You seem vexed."

I shook my head to reassure him a little bit. I didn't want him to be even more concerned about me. I took a few deep breaths and closed my eyes for a couple of seconds. I wanted to tell him so bad, I didn't have a choice anyway, but I didn't know how to confess everything. I knew I had to be straightforward because it would be simpler, but it was such an important thing, and I couldn't mess this up. I opened my eyes and realized he was staring at me with great worry. I smiled at him to reassure him, and finally managed to gather my strength to say, still panting a little bit :

"Killian, I have something important to tell you. I'm..."

The phone started to ring at that exact same moment and I grunted in frustration. I couldn't believe it. Now that I was finally ready to tell him everything, I was getting cut off by a damn cell phone. Killian looked at me with a little wince and gave me Liam so he could take his phone in his pocket. He walked away in order to talk more easily, and I took my son on my lap with a loud sight. My leg was bouncing up and down from the stress, and my little boy looked at me with his big eyes as if he was getting that something was wrong. I forced myself to smile at him to erase his worried look and sat down cross-legged on the floor to start playing with him and comfort him a little bit. I couldn't stand seeing him so concerned. As I had expected, his smile came back in a matter of seconds. I smiled for real this time, realizing that playing with my son was actually making me feel better.

"It was your father." Killian said, when he came back into the living room a few minutes later. "Harry, Ron and Hermione are requiring to talk to us immediately – and I'm using their words. They are waiting for us at Regina's."

"Damn." I said with my eyes widened. "I'm pretty sure they are going to shout at us."

"What were you about to say?" He asked, sitting on the sofa and looking at me with worry, wanting to know what was wrong about me.

"Later." I said, because even if I wanted to tell him so bad, I knew it wasn't the right time now that we had to go. I wanted to tell him at the right moment, when we could talk and not while we were in a hurry. "I want us to have time to talk about the news later. Don't look at me like that!" I smiled, seeing his worried look. "It's fine, I promise. I'm not dying."

"You better not." He replied with half a smile, and I giggled, thinking to myself that he was definitely so good at making me smile even in the worst situations.

"Can you stay with Liam for a little bit? I'll go ask Henry if he wants to come with us."

He nodded and I got up to walk up the stairs, running a hand through my hair in fustration. The call had arrived in the worst moment possible. I wanted to tell him more than anything, and the right moment was now gone. Everything had happened in a matter of seconds. If the phone had rung a bit later or if I had come back from Whale's a bit sooner, he would already have known. I would have been in his arms right now as he would have been telling me that everything was going to be okay and that I didn't have to worry. I sighted, thinking that I didn't even know when I was going to find a moment to tell him, now. I just wnated him to know everything. I needed his arms to comfort me. He had the right words, always.

I finally arrived upstairs, and knocked three times at my son's door. I didn't really know what to do with myself, I was a bit lost, but I was trying to stay calm in front of my children. It was hard, but I had to be strong for them.

"Come on in!" Henry yelled.

"Hey, kid." I said, entering his room and finding him playing at some video games. "We're going to Regina's, 'wanna come with us?"

"Sure!" He answered with a smile. "Why are we going?"

"Probably to get yelled at by Harry, Ron and Hermione." I replied with a little wince, and he laughed. "We haven't found the wand yet, and they are probably getting a bit impatient. You'll be able to see the wonderful show if you come, I'm sure it's going to be extremely entertaining."

"Great! Can I bring pop-corn?" He asked in a teasing tone.

"Don't push it!" I laughed because of his comment. "Come on, get ready. We're leaving in five minutes."

"Mom, wait!" He called me back as I was crossing his door, and I turned back with my eyebrows raised, wondering what was happening. "You went to see Whale, right? Do you know what's wrong? Is it bad?"

"I'm fine." I assured him with a comforting smile even if I was quite worried about Henry's reaction when he would find out he was going to be a big brother again. "I'll tell you everything when we'll have some time. But don't worry. I'm okay, I promise."

"Good." He said, smiling back at me. "I'm worried about you."

"I know you are, kid, and I think you shouldn't." I said while shaking my head, because seeing my son so concerned about me was disturbing me a bit. "Come on, let's go. The later we will get there, the louder the screams will be."

He laughed at my comment, and I finally left his room. Now that I had stopped pretending everything was okay, I was feeling like I had the weight of the world on my shoulder, and I just wanted to fall asleep and never wake up.

"It's not possible, it can't take a damn week to find this bloody wand!" Ron shouted, looking absolutely distraught.

"I can assure you we're doing everything we can." My mom tempered, looking worried by the wizards' anger. "We've looked everywhere in the town, but we haven't found anything yet..."

"We think it has been stolen." Regina added, both of her hands on her waist to show she wasn't going to accept their accusations for much longer. "But Emma and David are the sheriffs and the town isn't that big, we're going to find it. I promise you. But getting mad isn't leading us anywhere..."

"You're saying you're going to find it, but you're looking for days!" Hermione cried out, as she seemed at the edge of a mental breakdown. "Our children are in our world, and they are probably thinking we are dead! We can't stay here!"

"We know that!" I said, more and more annoyed by the situation and their criticisms. "We're doing the best we can to help you!"

I could understand their worry perfectly. I could only imagine how awful it was for them to be separated from their kids. But I was feeling like Hermione was blaming us for the wand's disappearance, and it was really pissing me off. We had spent the entire week looking around the town. I was throwing up all the time, but I hadn't taken a day off, because I wanted to help them. I would have wanted her to understand that we couldn't do anything more than what we were already doing, and I was feeling like I was going to get mad. I also knew deep down that I was more impatient than usual because I had just learned that I was pregnant, for real. Today was really not a good day to start yelling at me.

"Yeah, well it's not enough!" The witch shouted with anger.

My eyes widened. I was trying to stay calm, but it was too much for me. I suddenly felt the need to take the vase laying on the table beside me and throw it against a wall, but I managed to control myself in order not to worsen the situation. How dared she talk to us like that? We were working our asses off to help them! I was literally feeling like I was going to implode because of my anger, and I said coldly :

"Okay, listen to me very carefully. We've spent the entire week trying to send you back home. I'm sick every fucking day, and yet I'm walking around town for hours because I want to help you. If you could understand that I'm ill here instead of complaining, I would appreciate it. You are strangers. We could as well have let you try to find a way home by yourself. Hell, we could have thrown you outside of the town where there is no damn magic, or we could have locked you in one of our cells, and you would never have seen your kids again. So stop whining and help us if we're not doing enough for you!"

I had literally yelled on the last sentence, and was completely breathless. Everyone in the room was now staring at me, not knowing what to do. They weren't used to see me get that mad, and I could guess they were scared to make things worse by talking to me. There was quiet for a couple of seconds and only my panting was ringing into the silence.

"Emma..." My dad finally started, taking a step to get closer to me.

"Screw that, I'm sick of this!" I cried out before exiting the room, slamming the door behind my back.

As soon as I arrived in the hall, I leaned against the wall, taking my face in my hands. I didn't know why I had gotten so mad. My heart was still pounding almost painfully in my chest, but my head was already starting to clear up a bit, and I was realizing I shouldn't have yelled like that. She was deserving it, sure, but I could understand why she was nervous and I was usually able to control myself when I was angry. I hadn't screamed like that in a long time, and I was ashamed of myself because Henry was in the office with us, and I hated the thought that my son had seen me like that. Liam was fortunately playing with the other kids upstairs, watched by Robin, and I was relieved because I couldn't have stood him seeing me like that.

The truth was it was too much to take all at once. This crisis, the wizards' criticisms, my sicknesses and mostly all of these contradictory thoughts that were still crashing inside my brain. Hearing the heartbeat for the first time had turned me upside down, because I hadn't expected it. But now I knew I had to calm down. I didn't have a choice, the situation was already so complicated and I couldn't worsen it because I was hormonal.

I couldn't decide what to do. I couldn't go out in the street or walk back into the room and apologize, I was still too mad. So I did the only thing I was able to. My face still hidden in my hands, I slacked against the wall until I hit the ground and bend my legs on my chest, wrapping my arms around my knees. I was feeling safe in that position, as if nothing could ever hurt me. Voices suddenly started to ring from the other side of the door, and I listened carefully, curious to know what my friends were saying :

"What's gotten into her?" My dad said, sounding completely lost.

"I'll go talk to her." Killian decided in a worried voice, but he got interrupted by my mom.

"No, stay here. I'll go. I know what's happening."

No one said anything to hold her back, but I could guess they were a bit triggered by her words. I stayed on the floor, not having the strength to get on my feet, and looked up when I heard the door opening. My mom closed it behind her and she knelt beside me on the floor. She put her hand on my arm to gently comfort me and asked in a low voice :

"What's wrong, honey?"

"Everything. It's just… It's..." I stuttered, feeling like I was going to start crying again. "It's just too much."

I felt a tear streaming down my face and grunted in frustration. I was feeling like I was crying all the time these past few days. Fucking hormones.

"What is it that is too much, Emma?" She asked gently.

"All of this, I just… I can't take it anymore." I admitted, realizing that I wasn't making any sense but I wasn't able to explain what I had in mind. "I can't with my sicknesses, and I… well, I went to see Whale today."

"Is that why you're so nervous?" She guessed, gently stroking my arm and it calmed me down a little bit.

"Yeah, I guess. I've tried to tell Killian the truth, but dad called us and it made me feel even worse." I said, looking down to try and pull myself together even if I was feeling utterly lost.

"He doesn't know yet?" She asked with a little sight.

"I wanted to make sure of what was going on. Now I just want him to know but it's never the right time and it's driving me crazy." I confessed, and seeing that she wasn't saying anything back, I added in a low voice to make sure that they couldn't hear me through the door. "I've heard the heart for the first time today. You're going to think I'm crazy, and I probably am, but… I've realized I already love this kid so much. It's 5 weeks old. It's stupid."

"It's not stupid at all, Emma." She reassured me, moving her hand to run it through my hair. "It's normal. And I understand that you want to tell Killian. It's okay to be nervous. But right now, you have to calm down. You have the right to be mad at Hermione, what she said was unfair, but you have to go and talk to her. It will only make things worse if you stay mad at each other."

"I know." I sighted, knowing that she was right.

I was still feeling really bad, but talking with someone about my feelings had actually made me feel much better. My mom gently smiled at me and offered me her hand so I could get up. I got on my feet with a new sight, trying to find my balance. I looked at her as she walked toward the door, and started talking as she was about to open it.

"Mom?"

"Yes, baby?"

"Thanks." I said with a little smile, because I was so happy she was always there to calm me down when I was having these kinds of breakdowns.

"You don't have to thank me, Emma." She answered with a smile. "I'm here for you. I regret everyday the fact I haven't raised you, you know. I want to be there for you now that I can. We've made mistakes with your father, I know it. We've made you suffer sometimes, and I'm so sorry about that. But we're here now. Whenever you need us."

"You really want to make me cry, don't you?" I said in a muffled voice, feeling tears forming in my eyes again.

Her smile widened and she gently wrapped her arms around me. I had kept my armor for so long with my parents, because I was scared to get hurt again. But now that I had finally opened to them, I genuinely loved it when they were taking me into their arms. I was feeling loved and safe, feelings I had searched for so long when I was a little girl and I was finally discovering now that I was a grown-up.

"I love you so much, Emma. I'm so proud of you, you know?"

"I'm starting to realize it" I said in a muffled voice while my mom pulled away from me to wipe off my tears.

"Are you ready to go inside? I think Hermione doesn't feel very good about what happened. She gets mad quite fast, but she has a good heart, and I know she's feeling guilty to have said these things to you."

I nodded, knowing that it was time for me to apologize, and followed my mom into the room. Everyone turned to look at me all at once, and I smiled to reassure them even if I was feeling really awkward about this entire situation.

"Are you okay, love?" Killian asked, getting closer to me to place his hand on the small of my back.

"I'm fine." I said in a whisper, looking straight into his eyes to make him understand that everything was okay now. "Hermione." I added, turning to face the witch. "I'm sorry I've yelled like that. I shouldn't have. And I understand you. I would be nervous too if I was far from my family."

"I'm the one who's sorry." She said, looking down at her feet and I was guessing she was feeling really guilty about her words. "I didn't think a word of what I've said. I know you're doing everything you can..."

"We're even." I said with half a smile to show her I wasn't mad anymore. "And I promise you we're working our asses off to find this damn wand. But… You can help us if you want to. The more we are, the more chance we have to find it."

They nodded, looking quite thrilled by my proposition, as if our argument had already been completely forgotten. We formed two teams to be more effective : Killian, my dad, Henry and I to search around the docks and my mom, Regina, Robin and the three wizards to look for the missing wand in the forest. We decided that the kids would go to Ashley's, and as we were all walking out of the room to get our cars and start the search, Killian gently grabbed my elbow to hold me back. I raised my eyebrows at him, wondering what he wanted to tell me, but he waited for everyone to be gone before talking :

"Are you okay?"

"I've already told you, babe, I'm fine." I said with a smile, wanting to erase his worried look.

"Are you sure? You really seem upset, and I'm concerned..."

"I know you are." I said, putting my hand on his cheek. "But I'm fine. I'm just stressed because of what Whale has said to me..."

"You still don't want to tell me?"

"Later, when we'll be home." I decided, knowing that saying I was pregnant now that everyone was waiting for us outside wasn't a good idea. "It's better to wait a little bit. I love you." I added, seeing that he was still looking worried. "It's going to be okay."

"I know. I love you too." He finally smiled, wrapping his arms around me to pull me into a tight embrace, and I buried my face into the crook of his neck.

I promise you Emma will finally tell everything to Killian next chapter! See you Monday! :)