Title: Is It Weird?
Characters: Benedick, Beatrice, Balthazar, Pedro
Pairings: Beatrice/Benedick, Balthazar/Pedro (eventually), Hero/?
Rating: T (for language)
Disclaimer: I do not own the characters from Nothing Much to Do/Much Ado About Nothing.
A/N: This story is set in a universe where everything happens except Balthazar and Pedro getting together. The chapters will not take place in chronological order, so don't think you've missed anything if chapters don't match up with the ones before. Also, there'll be mention of a major character death, so yeah, there's that warning. Hope everyone enjoys this - I'll try to update as often as possible!
"Sorry, Benedick, but I can't help with a new song today. Pedro and I are going to a friend's performance at Grounds - you know, that coffee shop that opened next to Spinning Records. If you had asked yesterday or something…" I can hear Balthazar get distracted by a voice in the background. Probably Pedro. Those two are basically attached at the hip, and poor Balthy definitely wants to be attached at something else if you know what I mean. Heh. Yeah, you know what I mean.
He seems to have forgotten I'm even on the line. "Hey, Balth, it's no problem. I shouldn't have too hard of a time writing up something."
"Yeah, okay, cool. I gotta go. Pedro's threatening to throw my uke out the window if I don't pay attention to him now. I swear, he's basically a two year-old. No, no, Pedro, stop that…" The line goes dead. Whelp, guess I'm writing a song all by myself.
Today is the one month anniversary of my absolutely amazing relationship with the most absolutely amazing girl in the whole world. Of course, I can never tell Bea that. She'd laugh herself to death. And then where would I be?
I sit down at my desk and pull some paper and a pen over. Okay, I've written lyrics before, and they were absolutely amazing! I even managed to work "horny" in there (in a super tasteful way, or course). This shouldn't be too hard. It's not like I'm expressing my undying love to her. That's out of the way. Now I just have to let her know how much more in love with her I am now than a month ago. Nope, not hard at all.
So, it's been two hours, and my most outstanding line is, "You're so much better than those other hoes \ You and me make the hottest pair of flamingoes." Yeah, so it's not going so well. Maybe I just need to listen to some music for inspiration.
Oooh, what's new on YouTube?
Okay, no more YouTube. Ever. It's a never-ending spiral of - I don't know what. But seriously, I need a time-turner. I have two hours before Bea's supposed to get here, and I have nothing. Maybe hoes and flamingoes is the best I can do.
Let's try this: what do I want to tell Bea? That she's my soulmate? That she's really pretty? That I really like her butt? Yep, that one. I really, really like her butt.
So that's a start. I should find songs that talk about butts.
I think I've got an idea. I'll just sing this song I found for Bea and add my own flair to it. After practicing it a bit, I'm pretty confident on the lyrics, but I'll have it on my phone Balthazar style (just in case).
My phone rings. It's Beatrice. "Hey, babe, what's going on?"
"I'm at your house. I got done with my homework early. You don't mind, right?"
"Nah, I think the front door's open. Just come on up." Damn. Time to give the performance of my life.
"Every time that you get undressed
I hear symphonies in my head
I wrote this song just looking at you
Yeah the drums they swing low
And the trumpets they go…"
I finish the final kazoo trumpeting (as I said, personal flair). Bea is just sitting there, staring. In shock? Horror? Utter lust? I can never really tell what she's thinking.
"So, um, happy anniversary!" She still hasn't moved, so I step forward to hug her.
Bea puts her hands on my shoulders and keeps me from getting closer. Uh oh, that's worrying. She looks me in the eyes and whispers, "I really like your butt, too, dickhead."
Song used in this chapter: Trumpets by Jason Derulo
Note: I have a super hard time writing first-person Benedick, so oops. Thanks to everyone who reads/likes/comments on this story!