Lucina spends ten minutes hyperventilating behind the safety of her front door.
She hears the hum of Severa's car pick up and fade away, and the trembling girl brushes at her hair, her hand coming away with sweat from touching her forehead.
What was she thinking confessing to Severa Faulkner like that?
She leaps up the stairs just to the right of her and calls back a response at her brother's confused holler. It sounds like he was in the living room, but Lucina shies away from speaking to him right now. She just needs to talk to someone who can sort out the mess in her head.
Lucina brushes past the landing on the second floor, past her family's bedrooms, and up a short flight of stairs that led to the attic where she slept. Her father had thought she would appreciate the privacy of her own space and moved her there a year ago; her mother took over renovating the space after he punched a plate-sized hole in the side of a wall.
Lucina moves into her room and quickly locks the door behind her before sinking down into her bed beside the door. She fishes through her pockets for her phone before pulling it out and calling her best friend's number.
Cynthia picks up on the second ring and cheers into the phone. "Hey, Lucina! Great timing. Mom and I just finished closing the bakery. Want to come over and watch the latest Shadowgift movie on my laptop? Your aunt's in it."
Lucina winces. She wasn't quite in the mood to watch Aunt Aversa screech and pout in her typical dramatic flair, although it apparently won her an award. "Not at the moment. I need to tell you about what happened with Severa after practice."
"Of course, something happened." Cynthia's tone is flat. "Did she insult you?"
"No, nothing like that. She—"
"Geez, why do we even need her on the team? You and I are fast enough to take on any team on our own."
"We need an additional person, and you've seen Severa sprint before." Both Cynthia and Lucina had caught an irate Severa bolting after a howling Yarne in the fields behind the school, because...what was even happening then? Neither Yarne nor Severa ever brought up the incident. "Her speed would be useful in addition to her natural aggression."
"That's the thing! She's, like, too aggressive. She mocks me every single chance she gets. Oh, and she's anti-social. And she's mean."
"Cynthia." Lucina runs a hand through her hair slowly. "She's not as bad as you think she is."
"Of course you wouldn't think that. Not with the massive crush you have on her mom."
"I don't—" Lucina's lucky that it's not a face-to-face conversation. "—Miss Faulkner is just really passionate at explaining the various poems of famous writers." She changes the subject. "I just had dinner with Severa."
"...why?"
"I wanted to get to know her better, and dinner seemed like a good idea." She thinks about Severa's revelation and bites her lip. "Cynthia, I should tell you that—"
"Please don't tell me you have a crush on Severa."
"...um...okay, then."
There's a long pause. "Really, Lucina? After everything she's said to me? To you? After Owain—"
"That wasn't her fault." Lucina's voice comes out sharp and high.
"Yeah, but after everything that's happened, it's like she's cursed. Who knows? Maybe if she wasn't the one that walked by the river—"
"She didn't do anything! It was—" Lucina's throat closes up, and she lets out a choked sound. "Please don't talk about him," she asks, quietly. "Please."
"Oh my gods. I'm sorry, Lucina." Cynthia's voice comes out in a whisper. "I wasn't thinking. I'm sorry that I brought him up. And I'm sorry about what I said about Severa. If you think that she's good for the team, I'll deal with it." The next set of words are grumbled. "I'll take one for the team." A pause. "Noire's okay though. She can come too."
The soccer captain lets out a breath she didn't know she was holding. "Thank you." She clears her throat. "I...I should go."
"Lucina—"
"It's fine, Cynthia. I just need some space right now." Lucina hangs up the phone, despite another round of apologies from her friend. She drops her face into her hands and lets out a sigh. She didn't even mention confessing to Severa to her.
Her phone rings again, and Lucina ignores it. She heads downstairs and makes her way into the living room on the first floor. Her younger brother is lying on his belly some distance from the couch with his math textbook in front of him, his brows furrowed in concentration. He glances up when she enters and yawns in greeting.
"Hey, Lucina." He runs a hand through his perpetually messy hair. "You're home late."
"I was having dinner with someone. Did you get something to eat yet?"
"I made some cereal." He shrugs. "I'm still banned from the stove after I set eggs on fire."
He, unfortunately, inherited all of his cooking skills from their dad. "Morgan, I can—"
"It's fine, Sis. I can handle myself." He rolls onto his back and glances up at her upside down. "So, what's up with you and your date?"
Lucina starts. "I never said it was one."
He grins at her, slyly. "No, you did not." He flips himself back to his front. "But you didn't deny it either."
Little brothers can be so annoying. "It wasn't a date."
"Then, why are you in so much denial?"
Very annoying. "Morgan—"
The sound of the front door opening catches their attention.
"Is that Mom?" Morgan frowns. "It's too early for Dad to come home."
Their mother pops her head into the doorway. "Hey guys, good to see you home. Did you have dinner yet?" When both Lucina and Morgan affirm her answer, she continues. "Good, I'll make something for your father and I. You're welcome to join in if you get hungry later."
"Wait, Mom!" Lucina follows their mother into the kitchen situated near the front door. "I just wanted to let you know that I finished my first training practice with Severa Faulkner."
"Oh?" Her mother shrugs off her dark coat and sets her purse on the kitchen table. "How'd it go?"
"She's fit enough to join. And she learns really quickly."
"I suspected as much." Her mother pulls out broccoli along with some chicken breasts from the refrigerator. "Thank you for taking her on, honey. I know you're really busy, and I'm glad that you're taking some time out of your schedule to help your classmate."
"It was my pleasure." Lucina thinks of Severa running in her tiny soccer shorts. She flushes. "I mean, I enjoyed teaching her."
Her mother glances sidelong at her. A faint smile pulls at a corner of her mouth. "I see. Well, then, do take care to not let her distract you too much from your homework." She walks to the far end of the kitchen and fishes an onion from the pantry. "Your father called me and wanted to mention that he'll be home late again."
"He's always home late," Lucina mutters under her breath. The glance her mother cast over her shoulder means that she heard her. Oops.
"Lucina, is something the matter?" Her mom slowly puts the ingredients down on the kitchen island between them.
"It's just...Dad's almost never home." Lucina can recall the rare moments when he returned home before she was asleep.
Her mother's eyes flicker. "He's been working on a long case, and I know it's not fair that he doesn't spend any time with you or Morgan. Ever since—" She glances at Lucina and seem to change her mind on whatever she was about to say. "He does love you both. He's just very close to cracking a case that's going to protect everyone."
"But it's been years on the same case. Maybe I can help." Maybe she can lay Owain to rest in her mind.
"Lucina, you are 16. Even if you were allowed to help, legally, you're not supposed to. No one but your father and his deputies are allowed on the case." Her mother's eyes flicker in annoyance. "Even I'm not allowed to assist him."
Lucina runs her hands through her hair. She bites down hard on her lip. "I just wish I could do something. I wish he was here."
Her mother gathers her daughter into a hug. She looks sad. "He will be. Just be patient, Lucina."
They part, and Lucina helps her mother make dinner though she's not hungry. She later makes her way to her bedroom and locks the door behind her, crossing the large rainbow rug in the middle of the room to reach her aging bookshelf on the other side of the room. She reaches into a favourite childhood book about talking rabbits and pulls out a faded yellow card made of construction paper.
She opens it, gazing on the purple, blue and red splashes of round balloons above a scrawl wishing her happy birthday in serious, painfully penned letters. Lucina still opens it from time to time, a birthday card Severa gave to her when they were still friends. She hadn't known that it was the last gift she would receive from her. She didn't know that in the following week, Severa would find Owain in the river.
And she didn't expect that it would be the last time she would speak to her as a friend. Until now.
Lucina shakes her head, shoves the card and the memories back into her book. She leaves her bookshelf to sit at her adjacent desk, flipping open the math textbook on her desk. She can worry about what to do tomorrow when she sees Severa in school.
_
Severa isn't in class, which does not totally surprise Lucina but her absence leaves something heavy in the worried girl's throat. Cynthia spends the entire day apologizing, and Lucina has to ask the forlorn girl to stop halfway through chemistry class. The misery is short-lived as Miss Faulkner introduces a new transfer student from Rosanne with a brooding demeanour, broad shoulders, and a face that made most girls in the class gape in awe.
Cynthia elbows her in the side as the transfer student takes a seat on Lucina's left. "Oh my god, he's so hot! Miss Faulkner said his name is Gerome, right?"
Lucina shoots her an annoyed look before shifting to greet the new student. Who's already staring at her. "Welcome to Ylissetol. I'm Lucina." She holds out her hand to him, and he blinks at it before grunting and taking it.
"Gerome." His voice is deep and raspy. Lucina thinks she heard the girls behind her sigh. "My transfer got delayed, which is why I arrived in the afternoon."
"No worries. You arrive just in time for an interesting English lesson." She smiles at him, and the corners of his lips flicker upwards.
Cynthia takes this moment to lean across Lucina's desk and introduce herself. "Hi! I'm Cynthia! Lucina's friend? I think your hair looks really amazing!"
She's loud enough that Miss Faulkner has to turn around and shush her. "Cynthia, if you could please sit up straight?"
Gerome frowns and snaps back to the front, ignoring the whispers around the class that bleed into the silence. Cynthia pouts, and Lucina rolls her eyes before pushing her friend back into her seat.
The taller girl whispers to her disappointed friend, "Class is more important than staring at someone you find attractive."
"Easy for you to say when you get to stare at your crush all class." Cynthia raises her eyebrows towards the teacher, and Lucina feels heat flood across her face.
Lucina snaps back. "She's not my crush."
"Uh-huh. Because you have a thing for her—"
To make things worse, Miss Faulkner turns back and tilts her head back at the embarrassed girl.
"Miss Flynn? Do you have a question about Priam's use of iambic pentameter?"
Lucina shakes her head. "No, Miss Faulkner. Please carry on."
"Good. Miss Baxter, could you please stop disturbing Lucina and take notes? There'll be a quiz at the end of the week about the different meters used in the first five stanzas of Priam's The Radiant Hero."
A heavy groan from the class answers her, and a chorus of protests rise up to which Miss Faulkner answers with a gentle smile and a clear, commanding explanation. Lucina glances to her left again only to see Gerome whip his head away again, a tinge of red on his cheeks. She doesn't have time to think about that particular detail when Cynthia jostles her elbow and gestures to her notes.
Funny how Lucina was doing that to her friend just a few moments earlier.
They leave English class with Cynthia pulling her down the nearest deserted hallway to talk about the new transfer student. Lucina glances back at the classroom and sees Gerome gazing after them, shifting his feet uncertainly before turning and heading down the opposite direction. She can't help but feel that Cynthia missed a chance there.
Cynthia finally finds an empty stairwell and opens her mouth partway when Lucina cuts in. "I'm worried about Severa."
The shorter girl rolls her eyes but manages a look of slight concern. "Relax, Lucina. She's always skipping. We'll probably see her sometime next week."
Lucina bites her lip. "Yes, but I'm worried about this particular day, because yesterday evening... I told her that I liked her."
Cynthia's eyes almost pop out of her head. "WHAT? Why didn't you tell me this yesterday?"
"Shhh! Keep your voice down."
"Sorry! Sorry!" Cynthia's bouncing with excitement. She looks genuinely exhilarated for her friend. "What did she say?"
"She didn't say anything. Just sat in her car and watched me leave."
"Tch, typical Severa. Always has to act cool." Cynthia frowns. "Wait, you think she's avoiding you because of that?"
"She may be." Lucina doesn't meet her gaze. There's fear twisting in her chest and nausea growing in her stomach. "Maybe she doesn't feel the same."
"Of course, she does! Have you seen how she looks at you?"
"...have you?"
"Well, no. But you're Lucina! She'd like you as a friend at the very least."
Lucina winces at the words. She knows Cynthia means well. "I'm hoping that she'll turn up to practice later, and then I can talk to her."
"And then you'll win her over by asking her on the best date of her life!"
Lucina smiles. "Here's hoping." She glances at a clock down the hallway from them. "We need to head to class. I'll tell you how it goes later?"
Cynthia pouts. "You'd better. I"m not ready to give up my best friend spot to Severa just yet."
"You'll always be my best friend." Lucina hugs her. "And of course. I'll keep you in the loop."
They part ways, and Lucina heads to her biology class that she shares with Severa though she doubts that she would show up. She's proven right when she arrives, and goes back to trying not to poke at the bundle of worry in her stomach.
The redhead doesn't show up until her scheduled training time with Lucina, and it's with clear relief that the soccer captain receives her scowling classmate.
"What are we doing today?" Severa says in lieu of a greeting.
"Good afternoon to you too," Lucina replies. "I wasn't sure if you were going to show up."
"Of course, I'm going to show up. I want to make the soccer team." Severa grumbles, pointedly looking away from Lucina. She's wearing longer black shorts that's not part of the team's uniform. They're still just as tight though. "So, let's get to it. What are we doing?"
"Dribbling." Lucina gestures to the field. "I've set up several rows of cones for you to weave around."
Severa arches an eyebrow. "Seriously? This is so dumb."
Lucina frowns. "Dribbling is a basic skillset. If you can master this, we can move on to more techniques."
"Fine." Severa steps up to the first cone in the leftmost row. She doesn't meet Lucina's eyes. "Let's get this over with."
They finish the practice with Lucina being reasonably satisfied with Severa's dribbling skills and giving her approval to work on new things the next day.
"You're much better than you give yourself credit for," Lucina says to Severa's grumbles that she knocked over too many cones. "If I didn't know any better, I'd say you'd played before."
Severa jerks and turns around at that. She begins to leave the field. "Whatever. See you, Lucina."
"Severa!" Lucina steps forward to grab her arm without thinking. "There's something I would still like to talk about."
She receives an annoyed glare while Severa yanks her limb back. "We're already done practice."
"It's not about that."
Severa stops. She takes a long time to turn around. "Then, what is it about?"
"After you drove me home. I told you that—" Lucina feels her words slip out of her mouth. From the way her heart is beating, she might be the youngest person in the town's history to have a heart attack. "I like you. A lot more than a friend would."
"Oh, that." Severa rolls her eyes. "Great prank, Lucina, but it's kind of tasteless. I mean, you don't need to make fun of me like that."
Make fun of her? "Why would you think that?"
Severa just looks at her. "Because you're you, and I'm me. The thought of you liking me is a joke."
Lucina flinches. There's a tearing pain in her chest. "You think it's laughable that I might like you?" She blinks and is surprised to feel something wet in her eyes. "That my feelings are real?"
"You're a good actress." Severa tries to scoff, but there's a look of alarm on her face. "Hey, are you crying? That's practically cheating." There's something like guilt darting across her expression before anger overtakes it, and she snarls, "Look, I don't need your pity."
Pity? Is that what she thought it was?
Lucina shakes her head. "It's not pity. I just want to be friends."
"Clearly, you want to be more if what you said yesterday is anything to go by." Severa eyes her. It's not without some measure of appreciation. "But that's a terrible idea."
Lucina feels something in her chest drop to her feet. "Why?"
Severa makes an annoyed sound. "Are you being daft? Do you know what everyone says about me?"
"What does that have to do with me liking you?"
The redhead makes a noise of disgust. "Because people gossip in this stupid town, and I don't want them to gossip about you too!"
Lucina stares at her. "You care."
"Oh my gawd! Did you not understand me? About people whispering behind your back too?"
Lucina keeps her gaze on Severa. Her tone is soft. "I understand you perfectly." She touches Severa's hand gently. The redhead flinches but doesn't draw away. "Severa, I don't care what anyone says about me as long as I get to know you. And it's not going to ruin my reputation just to be seen with you."
"You clearly don't know what it's like here," Severa mutters. She doesn't draw away.
Lucina takes that as a chance to clasp her hand. "Maybe. But I do know that I would like to know you."
Severa closes her eyes. Her lashes flutter. Lucina feels a strong urge to kiss them. "No."
"...excuse me?"
Severa opens her eyes. "No, Lucina. Or was that too hard for you to understand? That people hate me in this damn town, and they love you. And that people say that I'm easy, I don't have morals, I'm bad luck, I'm going nowhere in life, I'm a terrible—"
Lucina loses her temper. Mostly because she's afraid of Severa going on. "I don't care! I just want to know you from you. Not whatever everyone says about you!"
Severa snarls. "So, what are you going to do when you do find out what I'm really like? That I'm just like everyone—"
"I'm going to find out the truth about you! And then, I'll decide!" She leans in, and she swears she sees Severa blush. "I'm not going anywhere until you give me a chance."
"Fine!"
"Fine!"
"We'll go somewhere nice after practice tomorrow!" Severa whips around and stalks off, which prompts Lucina to do the same.
They both storm away from the field, and it's not until she's a ways down the main road from the school that Lucina realizes that she's gotten the first date of her life by yelling at the girl she had a crush on.
She's completely doing this dating thing wrong.